The Batman (2004) s04e07 Episode Script
Artifacts
[RUMBLING.]
MOIRA: We're through.
We found it.
GREY: We found a cave, Moira.
Not necessarily the cave.
MOIRA: This is it.
You know it is.
[GASPS.]
We found the Batcave.
GREY: Archaeological log.
Grey reporting.
We seem to have found definitive proof that ancient Gotham's legendary Batman Iong thought to be a myth, actually existed.
The time is exactly 1 900 hours.
The date is August 8th, 3027.
GREY: Remember, don't disturb any artifacts until your recorder's taken a complete 3-D scan.
MOIRA: Grey! Over here.
[CRACKLING.]
MOIRA: We think this was some kind of primitive computer, but-- This was just the user interface, Moira.
The memory engrams may still be preserved.
[BEEPING THEN SPARKS.]
If the data we need is lost, all of New Gotham will be destroyed.
You need to get this machine online.
Do you know how old this tech is? What you're asking is impossible.
Find a way.
And remember, time is not a luxury we have.
I still can't believe we found the place.
You know, when I was a kid my father read tales of the Bat to me every night before bed.
He always said the stories were true.
Smart man, your father.
Full scan complete? -It's the Batmobile, isn't it? -Let's find out.
It's exactly how I imagined it.
[THUNDER CLAPPING.]
ORACLE: Batman.
Confirmed sighting.
He's at Gotham Airport.
Batman? Batman, do you read? What do you read anyway? After all these years, I never thought to ask.
Mystery stories? Romance novels? The Sunday comics? BATMAN: I read, Oracle.
Loud and clear.
I'm heading to the airport.
ORACLE: It's the headaches again, isn't it? Ever think that's mother nature's way of telling you that you should be playing bingo right now? BATMAN: I'm fine.
Today it ends.
This dance can't go on forever.
[BLASTS.]
ORACLE: Are you sure this homemade anti-Freeze is gonna work? BATMAN: I've spent years studying Freeze's cryogenic biology and how to neutralize it.
It will work.
ORACLE: It better, because you know I am not a fan of Plan B.
[BEEPS THEN MISSILE FIRES.]
[EXPLODES.]
Try again, Batman.
BATMAN: We didn't pierce the exo-suit.
Guess it's time for Plan B.
Great.
[ICE SPLASHES THEN EXPLODES.]
[LAUGHING.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
The Dark Knight returns.
[FREEZE GRUNTS.]
[ICE BREAKS AND BATMAN GRUNTS.]
ORACLE: Batman, I've tapped into air traffic control.
Gotham Tower has rerouted all flights.
Good.
You'd think so.
But a cargo plane from Africa was already on final approach.
It's out of fuel, and its wings are icing over.
The pilot's issued a mayday.
He has to land.
Now.
[GRUNTING.]
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
Oracle, the Batmobile.
Huh? [BATMAN AND FREEZE GRUNT.]
When did this get so hard? [CRASHES.]
[BATMAN GRUNTS.]
Time, Batman, has made you weak.
Slow, lrrelevant.
Facts you refuse to accept.
Pathetic.
Freeze, a man's life is at stake.
That plane needs to land.
And land it will.
Crash-land.
[PILOT GRUNTING.]
Do it.
That's more like it.
MAN: No wonder this place is still standing.
It's been secured with titanium reinforcements.
This much titanium in the 21 st century? It must have cost a fortune.
Who was this Batman? We'll probably never know.
The details have been lost to time.
MOIRA: Maybe not.
According to records we found the estate that was once above this cave was owned by a Dr.
Thomas Wayne.
We can't be certain, but I bet he was the Batman which means his wife Martha may have been the Batwoman and their young son, Bruce, the Red-Robin.
-The Red-what? -I'll show you.
The Batsuit.
Vacuum-sealed.
Perfectly preserved.
Look how small the Red-Robin's uniform is.
I never realized Batman's partner was so young.
[ICE BREAKING AND BATMAN GRUNTING.]
[BOMB EXPLODING.]
The upgraded Freeze 2.
0 comes complete with flameproof cybernetics and a shatterproof internal liquid nitrogen supply.
It's why your cold medicine didn't work.
BATMAN: Oracle, the plane.
Chill, Batman.
I sent up a flare.
ORACLE: Robin's on his way.
NIGHTWING: Maybe you didn't get the memo, Oracle.
But I've been going by Nightwing for, oh, about a decade or so.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know why I can't remember that.
ORACLE: Maybe I should try saying it Nightwing, Nightwing, Nightwing.
NIGHTWING: Wing de-icers are at maximum capacity and losing ground.
Oracle, take control.
ORACLE: Why? You got something better to do? Kind of.
Yeah.
[PILOT GRUNTING.]
Mayday! Mayday! [GLASS WINDOW BREAKS AND PILOT GRUNTS.]
Please stow all tray tables and unfasten your seatbelt.
What are you doing? Whoa! [EXPLODES.]
PILOT: Whoa! [GLASS WINDOWS BREAK AND AIRPLANE EXPLODES.]
[GRUNTS.]
[PILOT SCREAMING.]
Get out of here! -Whoa! -Oracle-- ORACLE: Way ahead of you, Wingnut.
I've alerted Commissioner Yin and Chief Bennett that the pilot's headed their way.
They've evacuated the airport and their men have the place surrounded.
Which means that they're still waiting for us to do the heavy lifting, right, Batman? [BATMAN GRUNTING.]
Batman? NIGHTWING: Sit this one out.
I can handle Freeze.
Maybe it's time to pass the torch.
I'll pass the torch when the mission's over.
We both know the mission will never be over.
[RUMBLING.]
Where is it? [CRASHING.]
Ah, The African Star.
BATMAN: A diamond, Freeze? You brought that plane down for a diamond? Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world, Batman.
I knew it was the only thing that could survive the crash.
After all these years, you're still nothing but a cheap crook.
As I've been trying to tell Batman, things change.
[RUMBLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
You see, Batman, the African Star is no ordinary diamond.
Its uniquely perfect structure will allow it to act as an energy amplifier for my cryo-cannon.
A machine with the power to alter this city's weather forever.
You think you got one more in you, old man? I'm just hoping you can keep up, Robin.
It's almost poetic, don't you think, that that which is most precious to me diamonds, will allow me to achieve my ultimate dream.
Turning Gotham into a frozen kingdom over which I will rule.
[BLASTING AND RUMBLING.]
[FREEZE LAUGHING.]
[WIND BLOWS AND BOTH GRUNT.]
[BATMAN GROANS.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING AND ICE CRACKING.]
[FREEZE GRUNTS.]
[NIGHTWING GRUNTS.]
FREEZE: It's over, Batman.
You've given this city all you have to give.
Now, it's time to sleep.
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
GREY: So, what was it that finally defeated the Bat? MOIRA: That's something probably lost to history.
I'd like to think old age.
COMMISIONER: Grey.
Progress report.
GREY: Ah, yes, commissioner.
We've made a number of important historical discoveries.
Forget history.
Have you found what we need today? No, sir.
Nothing yet.
Nothing that will solve our problem.
COMMISIONER: Grey, it's not a problem.
It's a crisis.
Find something and find it fast.
Before New Gotham enters another Ice Age.
[WIND WHISTLING AND THUNDER RUMBLING.]
-Somehow, this Dr.
Frost-- -Mr.
Frost.
-Freeze.
-Whatever.
Somehow, this thousand-year-old monster is destroying our city and we can 't seem to stop him.
Everyone is depending on you and your team, Grey.
What' s the status of that computer? We found data storage.
[GRUNTS.]
If the code's recoverable, we'll have it on line in a matter of minutes.
An antique wheelchair.
The Wayne's employed an Alfred Pennyworth for decades who would have been quite old near the end.
This must have belonged to him.
Batman, come in.
Come in, Nightwing.
There's still no answer, Alfred.
Radio must be down.
He's always seemed to think he wasn't doing his job unless he worried me half to death.
I'm certain he's fine, Oracle.
[THUNDER CLAPPING.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Lopez Hair Removal.
This is Jose.
It's Dad, Barbara.
Just wanted to check in on you.
You know, with everything that's going on.
There's nothing for you to worry about.
And I am kind of busy right now.
Well, if you weren't so mysterious about that job of yours maybe I wouldn't have to worry about you so much.
You never stood a chance against me, Batman.
[BEEPING.]
[ALARM WAILING.]
Sorry, Dad, I gotta go.
Love you.
See you tomorrow.
Okay, good night, Barbara.
Love you too.
Batman's remotely ordered the Batwing to fire on his position.
I can't override it.
Fire on himself? Oh, dear.
Senility has finally set in.
[MISSILES FIRE.]
Huh? [MISSILES EXPLODE.]
[GLASS BREAKS.]
[BATMAN GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GASPS.]
Thanks for the ice pack, Freeze.
All you did was numb the pain.
[FREEZE PANTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[BATMAN GROANS AND GLASS BREAKS.]
Diamonds cut even the hardest glass.
How's that for poetic justice? FREEZE: No! [BATMAN GRUNTS AND FREEZE GROANS.]
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
[BEEPING.]
[FREEZE GROANING.]
Oh, no.
[BATWING EXPLODES AND BATMAN GRUNTS.]
[RUMBLING.]
[FIRE CRACKLING.]
Not bad, old man.
No sign of Freeze.
Which means the mission isn't over.
[PANTING.]
The Cryo-Chamber.
Cold enough to put me on ice.
Until someone wakes me up and puts me back together in a future without the Batman.
Still can't believe some fool woke Frost up and put him back together.
It's not all bad.
Freeze's revival forced us to look for Batman.
And we found him.
We didn't find Batman.
We found artifacts.
Lots of pretty things, but unless we recover that data, nothing of substance.
It's no use.
This machine just wasn't built to hold code for a thousand years.
The memory engrams are hopelessly degraded.
Unacceptable! Get us access! Can't be done, I'm sorry.
-Grey, your hand.
-It's nothing, it's just a scratch.
A scratch with a pattern.
The titanium.
MOIRA: Grey, what do you--? -Binary code.
The titanium's covered with binary code.
Batman knew that couldn 't survive on his primitive computer so he found another way.
Have we scanned it all? Can you translate it? Yes.
Yes.
Here we go.
Welcome.
If you're viewing this message, I can only assume one thing the mission isn 't over.
-State the nature of the emergency.
-Dr.
Frost.
BOTH: Mr.
Freeze.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
[ICE CRACKLING.]
Beautiful.
FREEZE: I love the future.
Especially since it's 1 00 percent Bat-free.
BATMAN: If you believe that, Freeze, the cold must be numbing your brain.
What? No.
It's not possible.
There's nowhere you can run.
But I waited a thousand years.
You can't still be here.
And yet I am here.
And always will be here to stop you, Freeze.
Always.
No.
FREEZE: It can't be.
BATMAN: Freeze! No! MOIRA: Mission accomplished.
We did it, Grey.
But not without the Batman.
GREY: Even a thousand years into the future he refused to leave Gotham unprotected.
Time changes nearly everything.
But the mission and the legend of the Batman lives on.
MOIRA: We're through.
We found it.
GREY: We found a cave, Moira.
Not necessarily the cave.
MOIRA: This is it.
You know it is.
[GASPS.]
We found the Batcave.
GREY: Archaeological log.
Grey reporting.
We seem to have found definitive proof that ancient Gotham's legendary Batman Iong thought to be a myth, actually existed.
The time is exactly 1 900 hours.
The date is August 8th, 3027.
GREY: Remember, don't disturb any artifacts until your recorder's taken a complete 3-D scan.
MOIRA: Grey! Over here.
[CRACKLING.]
MOIRA: We think this was some kind of primitive computer, but-- This was just the user interface, Moira.
The memory engrams may still be preserved.
[BEEPING THEN SPARKS.]
If the data we need is lost, all of New Gotham will be destroyed.
You need to get this machine online.
Do you know how old this tech is? What you're asking is impossible.
Find a way.
And remember, time is not a luxury we have.
I still can't believe we found the place.
You know, when I was a kid my father read tales of the Bat to me every night before bed.
He always said the stories were true.
Smart man, your father.
Full scan complete? -It's the Batmobile, isn't it? -Let's find out.
It's exactly how I imagined it.
[THUNDER CLAPPING.]
ORACLE: Batman.
Confirmed sighting.
He's at Gotham Airport.
Batman? Batman, do you read? What do you read anyway? After all these years, I never thought to ask.
Mystery stories? Romance novels? The Sunday comics? BATMAN: I read, Oracle.
Loud and clear.
I'm heading to the airport.
ORACLE: It's the headaches again, isn't it? Ever think that's mother nature's way of telling you that you should be playing bingo right now? BATMAN: I'm fine.
Today it ends.
This dance can't go on forever.
[BLASTS.]
ORACLE: Are you sure this homemade anti-Freeze is gonna work? BATMAN: I've spent years studying Freeze's cryogenic biology and how to neutralize it.
It will work.
ORACLE: It better, because you know I am not a fan of Plan B.
[BEEPS THEN MISSILE FIRES.]
[EXPLODES.]
Try again, Batman.
BATMAN: We didn't pierce the exo-suit.
Guess it's time for Plan B.
Great.
[ICE SPLASHES THEN EXPLODES.]
[LAUGHING.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
The Dark Knight returns.
[FREEZE GRUNTS.]
[ICE BREAKS AND BATMAN GRUNTS.]
ORACLE: Batman, I've tapped into air traffic control.
Gotham Tower has rerouted all flights.
Good.
You'd think so.
But a cargo plane from Africa was already on final approach.
It's out of fuel, and its wings are icing over.
The pilot's issued a mayday.
He has to land.
Now.
[GRUNTING.]
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
Oracle, the Batmobile.
Huh? [BATMAN AND FREEZE GRUNT.]
When did this get so hard? [CRASHES.]
[BATMAN GRUNTS.]
Time, Batman, has made you weak.
Slow, lrrelevant.
Facts you refuse to accept.
Pathetic.
Freeze, a man's life is at stake.
That plane needs to land.
And land it will.
Crash-land.
[PILOT GRUNTING.]
Do it.
That's more like it.
MAN: No wonder this place is still standing.
It's been secured with titanium reinforcements.
This much titanium in the 21 st century? It must have cost a fortune.
Who was this Batman? We'll probably never know.
The details have been lost to time.
MOIRA: Maybe not.
According to records we found the estate that was once above this cave was owned by a Dr.
Thomas Wayne.
We can't be certain, but I bet he was the Batman which means his wife Martha may have been the Batwoman and their young son, Bruce, the Red-Robin.
-The Red-what? -I'll show you.
The Batsuit.
Vacuum-sealed.
Perfectly preserved.
Look how small the Red-Robin's uniform is.
I never realized Batman's partner was so young.
[ICE BREAKING AND BATMAN GRUNTING.]
[BOMB EXPLODING.]
The upgraded Freeze 2.
0 comes complete with flameproof cybernetics and a shatterproof internal liquid nitrogen supply.
It's why your cold medicine didn't work.
BATMAN: Oracle, the plane.
Chill, Batman.
I sent up a flare.
ORACLE: Robin's on his way.
NIGHTWING: Maybe you didn't get the memo, Oracle.
But I've been going by Nightwing for, oh, about a decade or so.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know why I can't remember that.
ORACLE: Maybe I should try saying it Nightwing, Nightwing, Nightwing.
NIGHTWING: Wing de-icers are at maximum capacity and losing ground.
Oracle, take control.
ORACLE: Why? You got something better to do? Kind of.
Yeah.
[PILOT GRUNTING.]
Mayday! Mayday! [GLASS WINDOW BREAKS AND PILOT GRUNTS.]
Please stow all tray tables and unfasten your seatbelt.
What are you doing? Whoa! [EXPLODES.]
PILOT: Whoa! [GLASS WINDOWS BREAK AND AIRPLANE EXPLODES.]
[GRUNTS.]
[PILOT SCREAMING.]
Get out of here! -Whoa! -Oracle-- ORACLE: Way ahead of you, Wingnut.
I've alerted Commissioner Yin and Chief Bennett that the pilot's headed their way.
They've evacuated the airport and their men have the place surrounded.
Which means that they're still waiting for us to do the heavy lifting, right, Batman? [BATMAN GRUNTING.]
Batman? NIGHTWING: Sit this one out.
I can handle Freeze.
Maybe it's time to pass the torch.
I'll pass the torch when the mission's over.
We both know the mission will never be over.
[RUMBLING.]
Where is it? [CRASHING.]
Ah, The African Star.
BATMAN: A diamond, Freeze? You brought that plane down for a diamond? Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world, Batman.
I knew it was the only thing that could survive the crash.
After all these years, you're still nothing but a cheap crook.
As I've been trying to tell Batman, things change.
[RUMBLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
You see, Batman, the African Star is no ordinary diamond.
Its uniquely perfect structure will allow it to act as an energy amplifier for my cryo-cannon.
A machine with the power to alter this city's weather forever.
You think you got one more in you, old man? I'm just hoping you can keep up, Robin.
It's almost poetic, don't you think, that that which is most precious to me diamonds, will allow me to achieve my ultimate dream.
Turning Gotham into a frozen kingdom over which I will rule.
[BLASTING AND RUMBLING.]
[FREEZE LAUGHING.]
[WIND BLOWS AND BOTH GRUNT.]
[BATMAN GROANS.]
[THUNDER RUMBLING AND ICE CRACKING.]
[FREEZE GRUNTS.]
[NIGHTWING GRUNTS.]
FREEZE: It's over, Batman.
You've given this city all you have to give.
Now, it's time to sleep.
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
GREY: So, what was it that finally defeated the Bat? MOIRA: That's something probably lost to history.
I'd like to think old age.
COMMISIONER: Grey.
Progress report.
GREY: Ah, yes, commissioner.
We've made a number of important historical discoveries.
Forget history.
Have you found what we need today? No, sir.
Nothing yet.
Nothing that will solve our problem.
COMMISIONER: Grey, it's not a problem.
It's a crisis.
Find something and find it fast.
Before New Gotham enters another Ice Age.
[WIND WHISTLING AND THUNDER RUMBLING.]
-Somehow, this Dr.
Frost-- -Mr.
Frost.
-Freeze.
-Whatever.
Somehow, this thousand-year-old monster is destroying our city and we can 't seem to stop him.
Everyone is depending on you and your team, Grey.
What' s the status of that computer? We found data storage.
[GRUNTS.]
If the code's recoverable, we'll have it on line in a matter of minutes.
An antique wheelchair.
The Wayne's employed an Alfred Pennyworth for decades who would have been quite old near the end.
This must have belonged to him.
Batman, come in.
Come in, Nightwing.
There's still no answer, Alfred.
Radio must be down.
He's always seemed to think he wasn't doing his job unless he worried me half to death.
I'm certain he's fine, Oracle.
[THUNDER CLAPPING.]
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Lopez Hair Removal.
This is Jose.
It's Dad, Barbara.
Just wanted to check in on you.
You know, with everything that's going on.
There's nothing for you to worry about.
And I am kind of busy right now.
Well, if you weren't so mysterious about that job of yours maybe I wouldn't have to worry about you so much.
You never stood a chance against me, Batman.
[BEEPING.]
[ALARM WAILING.]
Sorry, Dad, I gotta go.
Love you.
See you tomorrow.
Okay, good night, Barbara.
Love you too.
Batman's remotely ordered the Batwing to fire on his position.
I can't override it.
Fire on himself? Oh, dear.
Senility has finally set in.
[MISSILES FIRE.]
Huh? [MISSILES EXPLODE.]
[GLASS BREAKS.]
[BATMAN GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GASPS.]
Thanks for the ice pack, Freeze.
All you did was numb the pain.
[FREEZE PANTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[BATMAN GROANS AND GLASS BREAKS.]
Diamonds cut even the hardest glass.
How's that for poetic justice? FREEZE: No! [BATMAN GRUNTS AND FREEZE GROANS.]
[BATMAN GRUNTING.]
[BEEPING.]
[FREEZE GROANING.]
Oh, no.
[BATWING EXPLODES AND BATMAN GRUNTS.]
[RUMBLING.]
[FIRE CRACKLING.]
Not bad, old man.
No sign of Freeze.
Which means the mission isn't over.
[PANTING.]
The Cryo-Chamber.
Cold enough to put me on ice.
Until someone wakes me up and puts me back together in a future without the Batman.
Still can't believe some fool woke Frost up and put him back together.
It's not all bad.
Freeze's revival forced us to look for Batman.
And we found him.
We didn't find Batman.
We found artifacts.
Lots of pretty things, but unless we recover that data, nothing of substance.
It's no use.
This machine just wasn't built to hold code for a thousand years.
The memory engrams are hopelessly degraded.
Unacceptable! Get us access! Can't be done, I'm sorry.
-Grey, your hand.
-It's nothing, it's just a scratch.
A scratch with a pattern.
The titanium.
MOIRA: Grey, what do you--? -Binary code.
The titanium's covered with binary code.
Batman knew that couldn 't survive on his primitive computer so he found another way.
Have we scanned it all? Can you translate it? Yes.
Yes.
Here we go.
Welcome.
If you're viewing this message, I can only assume one thing the mission isn 't over.
-State the nature of the emergency.
-Dr.
Frost.
BOTH: Mr.
Freeze.
[THUNDER RUMBLING.]
[ICE CRACKLING.]
Beautiful.
FREEZE: I love the future.
Especially since it's 1 00 percent Bat-free.
BATMAN: If you believe that, Freeze, the cold must be numbing your brain.
What? No.
It's not possible.
There's nowhere you can run.
But I waited a thousand years.
You can't still be here.
And yet I am here.
And always will be here to stop you, Freeze.
Always.
No.
FREEZE: It can't be.
BATMAN: Freeze! No! MOIRA: Mission accomplished.
We did it, Grey.
But not without the Batman.
GREY: Even a thousand years into the future he refused to leave Gotham unprotected.
Time changes nearly everything.
But the mission and the legend of the Batman lives on.