The Good Wife s04e07 Episode Script
Anatomy of a Joke
_ Hi.
My name is Therese Dodd and these are my breasts.
Breast cancer is a serious matter.
Early detection can save lives.
And so, as a public service, I will now demonstrate a self-exam.
Hey.
Hey.
This is serious.
You do have a bra on under that, right? No, Joey, what I have is a drive to help women.
Yeah, see, we're live, so it's probably best Okay, there they are.
And did you hear the host say that? Say we were live? Yeah.
But I thought it was like a seven-second delay or something.
Did you just smile at your lawyer because he coached you to say that? - Objection.
- No, I smiled at my lawyer because he's cute.
You're being sued for $2 million, Ms.
Dodd.
I would take this more seriously if I were you.
The first step to a self-exam is Hey, hey.
Stop looking over there.
I am right here.
Cover that up.
We're The first thing you want to do with your (Bleep) - Okay! - Is touch and massage them like so.
We have placed censor boxes over the offending areas, but on that day, your routine was sent out to eight million households.
But you didn't care, did you, Ms.
Dodd? Well, I cared about women being informed about breast cancer.
Oh, Ms.
Dodd, really.
- That's why you disrobed? - Sure.
My mom died of breast cancer last year.
Why else? Because you happened to have a humorous book coming out in two months.
And you didn't care that you were using vulgar language in front of eight million viewers? What do you mean, "vulgar"? Which word? - I think you know, ma'am.
- No, I don't.
Honestly, which one? It rhymes with "bits.
" It rhymes with "bits"? Are we eight years old? You mean ( honk).
Bob, would you close that, please? You enjoy using vulgar language to provoke, - don't you, Ms.
Dodd? - I do.
No further questions, Your Honor.
Therese, did you go on the show - intending to take off your blouse? - No.
And did you feel that the show pushed you to do something outrageous? Oh, yeah, they always have me on to push the envelope.
And you were told that the talk show would be delayed due to a football overrun? - Yes.
- And therefore, you thought that the show would be broadcast during the safe harbor period? Uh what? Safe harbor.
It's the time after 10:00 p.
m.
and before 6:00 a.
m.
when network programs can, according to FCC rules, show nudity and use language like (honk).
Bob, how are we getting on with that window? Yes, Counselor, I thought the show was going on at 10:00 p.
m.
And therefore, the words you used, and the skin you exposed, was problematic only due to the network's self-imposed censorship? Your Honor, it doesn't matter.
The show was taped in Chicago, but broadcast live on the West Coast at 8:00 p.
m.
Yes, but that wasn't Therese's decision.
That was the network's.
She thought the show was safely in the safe harbor.
Ms.
Dodd signed a contract with the network, not with the FCC.
Let me get this straight.
The FCC says I can strip down naked and talk dirty like a cable show, but the network says I can't? Ms.
Dodd, please let your attorney ask the questions.
I'm just surprised, aren't you? The network can show the same stuff as cable, but they choose not to? Your Honor, this lawsuit is a sham.
Mr.
Preston and his client, the network, know they can't get $2 million from my client.
They are suing her for the same reason their Standards and Practices are stricter than the FCC.
For their advertisers.
Mr.
Gardner makes a sound point, Mr.
Preston.
Ms.
Dodd shouldn't be liable for the network's choices.
There's only one question remaining for me and that's premeditation.
Unless you have evidence to prove Ms.
Dodd went on the show intending to perform indecent material-- for instance, an earlier and identical stand-up routine-- then I am prone to dismiss.
I don't understand breasts.
They're made of fat; They sag; they drool; And guys still go for them.
It's like being turned on by Jabba the Hutt.
I've decided to name mine.
This one's Margie.
Margie's the misunderstood one - Anything yet? - No.
Another breast routine.
But different material.
Do you think she's funny? Sometimes.
You? It seems like an easy laugh-- breasts.
Well, guys make penis jokes.
Yeah.
Yeah, those are easy, too.
You've, um, been spending a lot of time with Clarke.
Yeah.
Everything okay? Yeah.
He just he just likes to talk.
Laura? Oh, hello, Alicia.
- How are you? - Good.
You're out of uniform, Captain.
Permanently, Unfortunately.
What? Why? My choice.
I was losing my bearings, things soured.
I'm on the market now.
Whee You're looking for a job? Yeah.
No, not here.
I'm out there checking out the job market.
This is my interview outfit.
So you're here? Oh, my bill.
I haven't paid it yet.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
What? Why? We lost.
But we did our best.
Don't worry.
So can you show me to Clarke Hayden? Um, that door.
And, Laura, if you need anything-- I started over pretty late.
So, if you want to talk.
I'll call you.
Hello? Hello.
What do you think of Brazilian food? What do I What? Yes, Gus, we take Maddie Hayward very seriously as a contender.
But our eye is still on the Republican, Kresteva.
One question.
Maddie's worth $180 million-- that's a lot of ad buys.
You're telling me you're not worried? I'm telling you, these millionaires always burn themselves out after a while because money only gets you so far.
Now does anyone have a question about, you know, the issues? Wait, Eli, Eli.
What about Peter sleeping with a campaign worker? Is that you, Mitch? This is crap and you know it.
Synth printed it, Eli.
A disgraced reporter printed it.
Peter Florrick has categorically denied these charges, and the accuser has been proved a liar.
Now, are there any real questions? Sure.
One.
Okay.
Who's this? Wexler Turner from NSW News.
Uh okay, go for it.
Can you respond to reports that this campaign worker has identified a distinguishing mark on Peter Florrick's anatomy? You're kidding.
No, sir.
She says he has a birthmark on his penis, shaped like Brazil.
Can you confirm or deny that Florrick has such a birthmark? This is How dare you, sir? "At long last, how dare you"? This is an outrage.
Do you guys listen to yourselves any more? Okay, that's the Morning Call for today.
Get the candidate on the phone.
Where is he? And someone call Alicia.
Rebecca Stokes.
I'm a makeup artist with ten years' experience.
And did you do the makeup for the defendant on the night in question? Yes.
Hi, Therese.
And when you do the makeup for guests Strike that.
Was there anything unusual you did - with Ms.
Dodd's makeup? - Yeah.
Uh, no.
I mean, just, um, foundation and blush.
What do you mean? Was there anything unusual regarding the placement? The placement? I, uh You usually only do makeup on the face? Oh, yeah, and sometimes the arms.
And what did Ms.
Dodd ask you to do? Oh, I see.
She wanted makeup on her chest.
And by her chest, you don't mean just the cleavage? I do.
No, uh, but you mean more than that? Oh, yeah.
She wanted both her breasts done.
I thought it was unusual because, you know, the camera is only gonna see the cleavage, but then it made sense after I saw.
Okay.
What do you want? - $2 million.
- Mr.
Preston, our client can't pay a tenth of that.
She can when her book comes out.
And how will that look for your network, bankrupting a comedian whose mother died of breast cancer? It'll look like we take decency on our airwaves seriously.
Then have our client apologize.
Have her do a PSA for you.
No.
Thank you, though.
Yes, Mr.
Hayden.
Nothing.
Just clearing my throat.
Then we have nothing to negotiate.
We'll see you in court.
Parents Against Indecency have bombarded the FCC with letters and complaints regarding Ms.
Dodd's little stunt.
And our expectation is the FCC will fine us the maximum: - $3 million.
- Mr.
Preston, we've already made clear our client can't Over the next two days, I'm meeting individually with three of the FCC commissioners to lobby them.
The three swing votes.
There is one thing your client can do to quash our suit.
Apologize.
Tell them the saintly story of her mom dying of cancer, and her sense of overexuberance at wanting to do something about it.
You'll quash the suit if she does? No, I'll quash the suit if she's successful.
She needs to convince two of the three swing votes for the FCC to drop their fine.
She does that, she doesn't pay a cent.
We have no choice.
I know.
That's not the concern.
The concern is her.
She won't go? No, she will.
She just She needs a babysitter.
Alicia, you go with her to D.
C.
Make sure she stays in line.
Uh, Cary will go with you.
I don't think we need two.
I can stay.
Do you mind giving us a minute? Sure.
You don't think Alicia can do it? No, I think we need to use Cary more.
He's taking a backseat on too many cases.
He complained? No, he didn't have to.
I noticed.
You think I'm holding him back? I think you're the head of litigation, and we need to use Cary more.
That's all.
What's going on there? Nice to meet you, Mr.
Hayden.
And you.
Lockhart/Gardner is a good firm.
It has the feel of a family-run business, but the client base of a Portman & Michaels.
I don't think I You know we're on opposite sides of this suit? I also know you're looking to expand from L.
A.
to the Midwest.
We're looking to build, not purchase.
Yes, but isn't it easier to remodel an existing home than to build a new one? Not if the foundation is compromised.
Well, why don't you test the foundation to see if it's compromised? Does the firm want to be acquired? It's not up to the firm.
It's up to the courts.
With my input.
Then I'll consider it.
You want to know what? We don't want to know anything.
I do.
How is it even possible to have a birthmark shaped like Brazil? So, you don't? No, Jim.
I don't.
Would you like to check? Okay, here's the problem.
We buried the affair story, but this is different.
This is late-night fodder.
It's also the perfect political trap.
We can't have the candidate say that he doesn't have a Brazil-shaped birthmark on his penis.
We can't have surrogates say it because how did they see? We could have the wife.
No.
No.
Then we change the subject.
Boy.
You ever wonder about this country? All the time.
Well, here's the real worry.
If this is the perfect political trap, I don't think Indira Starr was smart enough to think it up.
Kresteva? Sounds like him.
I think our Republican opponent is up to his old tricks.
I'm on it.
What do you have? To change the subject? - Mm-hmm.
- A rumor.
Maddie Hayward, your primary opponent-- she's sleeping with her aide.
Mmm, not big enough.
She's single.
The aide is a girl.
Okay.
Our fingerprints cannot be on this.
And get some photos if you can.
So, I have to tell three FCC commissioners about my mom dying of cancer? I believe in you.
Do you like Coldplay? Do I like them? Enough.
- I hate them.
- Okay.
When I get to the part about my mom's hair falling out, I want you to hum "Fix You.
" She only needs two of the three swing votes.
Can she do it? She's motivated.
Good.
It must be difficult, this bankruptcy.
Not really.
But you've lost 40% of your attorneys? We still have our major clients.
Even family law? They have their major clients? Yes.
Why? Rank, unfettered curiosity.
You don't have to tell me.
I'm on your side.
Wow.
That was easy.
They made me think I had to take you in the next room - and give you a - So, we can depend on your vote, sir? Certainly.
But I've always thought you network folk were too terrified of us at the FCC anyway.
We're not the ones infantilizing entertainment.
- That's what I told him.
- So hypocritical.
You allow yourselves to show naked bodies just as long as they're bruised and covered in blood.
Yeah.
Why is that, Burl? - We're not talking about - Tell us.
Okay.
Thank you so much, Commissioner Gill.
I haven't talked about my mom dying yet.
That's okay, Therese.
Okay.
Thank you.
Nice paperweight.
First effort in metal shop or something? That's from 9/11.
Oh.
Damn those terrorists and their paperweights.
I know, I know.
Comedy killer.
Do you think we'll be all right? He's on board, but we can't be going off script like that.
Cary? Sir.
I didn't know you were in town.
- Work.
The FCC.
- Ah.
But you're still with, um? Lockhart/Gardner, yeah.
Uh, excuse me.
This is my colleague, Alicia Florrick.
My father, Jeffrey Agos.
Really? - What a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Agos.
- And you.
How's Mom? Good.
Last I heard.
- Martha? - Uh, overseas in China.
Back in a month.
And how's, uh, that girl of yours? That girl? Which one? The last one.
The pretty one.
- You mean from law school? - Yes.
- I haven't seen her in five years, Dad.
- Ah.
It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Agos.
Cary is quite the lawyer.
So, who are you here to see? Commissioner Bix today.
Martinez tomorrow.
Ah.
You want me to put in a good word for you? Had lunch with them both.
No, we're fine.
How long you been doing this? Watching Maddie's house? No.
This.
The business.
A while.
Me, too.
That her? The aide? No.
Who is it? Indira Starr.
She's meeting with Maddie Hayward? That explains who's behind the birthmark rumor.
First of all, no 9/11 jokes.
Are we agreed? Oh, no.
I thought the commissioner was just meeting with us.
What? Punch Sutton.
The chair of Parents Against Indecency.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Laura.
How are you? Good.
Really good, I think.
I just I need your help.
Do you know Eddie Kolakowski at Armstrong, Hayes & LeGarde? Uh, yes.
I mean, by name.
Do you think you could call him and say nice things about me? Certainly.
So, the interview went well? I hate saying that and jinxing things, but they said it's between me and one other person.
That's fantastic.
In this economy? I know.
It's really a cattle call out here.
Well, I will call.
And congratulations.
Don't say that yet.
Take it back.
We have over 3,000 complaints, Commissioner, all regarding this full frontal nudity.
Yes, but all those complaints were organized by Parents Against Indecency itself.
We have children, just like you.
We're worried about the vulgarization of our culture.
This isn't about one swear word or a glimpse of a breast.
This is about the floodgates But the floodgates are open, sir.
The screens have multiplied-- with iPads, iPods, the Internet Then you should be happy.
There are many avenues for this type of content.
But why is it wrong to insist on one place where parents don't always have to be on the defensive? - Don't.
- But you allowed exactly this kind of nudity and profanity on network TV, Commissioner.
I did not.
Schindler's List had full frontal nudity and was shown, without FCC objection, at 9:00 p.
m.
Do you really want to suggest Ms.
Dodd's little striptease had the same merit as Schindler's List? If you were a woman with breast cancer, it did.
It is our argument that the Spielberg exception is unfair restraint.
You can't make an allowance for one filmmaker and not another.
They don't make it for a filmmaker; They make it for a filmmaker's work.
Ms.
Dodd, what are your thoughts? Oh.
Well I don't think I'm any less decent than Spielberg.
I mean, have you seen him eat? Maybe it would help if you explain to Commissioner Bix your reasons for your breast exam.
Yeah.
Well, uh, my mom died.
She was funny.
And, uh, she got breast cancer.
I remember the day she died.
Uh, I think she had gas or something because she just let out the most massive passing of gas.
And, uh, she kept cracking jokes about it.
Uh, and I just thought, wow.
You know, I couldn't believe it.
So close to death and still making jokes.
I just can't do it.
I know what you want-- me holding her hand and staring into her deep, sad eyes-- but anything else.
I'll kitsch up anything you want, but just not this.
Then get ready to pay $2 million.
No.
Gill is still with us, so I think we're tied.
We're not sure about Bix.
It all comes down to tomorrow-- Commissioner Martinez.
Okay, good.
Keep us in touch.
Oh, and one other thing.
This might not be anything, but Burl's been asking about our firm.
He What do you mean? He asked about Chapter 11, how it's going.
What did you say? I said we were doing well.
That we had our major clients.
Was that the wrong thing to say? I don't know.
Was there anything else? He asked about family law, how it was doing.
Uh, one second, Alicia.
He's after us.
That's what the meeting with Clarke was yesterday.
Alicia, if you get a chance, tell him we lost our top client, Edelstein.
You want me to emphasize we're not doing well? Yes, please.
Um, we'll call again.
Our trustee is looking for a buyer.
Preston is mostly about divorce.
That's why family law.
What do we do? We could fight in court.
The judge will side with Clarke.
We need $60 million to get out from under him.
We're at $12 million.
No, she was great.
Just out of the military, right? Right.
I just wanted to offer a reference, tell you how great she is.
Yeah, she seemed great.
So, are you looking for litigators with trial experience? Well, actually, between us, we're not looking for anyone.
You're not? Sh-She seemed to think there was a job there.
Well, we like to keep our hand in.
Meet and interview, see who's out there.
Same as you guys.
So, are you going to tell her there's no job? What do you mean? Well, she thinks it's between her and someone else.
Oh.
Could you hold for a moment, please? Hello.
Hello.
Is Cary there? Cary? Oh.
No.
Mr.
Agos? Uh, this is Alicia Florrick.
I'm in 206.
He's next door in 207.
Ah.
Well, my apologies.
Thank you.
Mr.
Kolakowski? I'm Hello? Hello Cary Agos.
- No, I just - I hadn't seen him in years.
He's We're not very close.
He's a lobbyist? Yeah.
Yeah, so is my mom.
My new mom.
You should have breakfast with him.
Why? Because he asked you.
I said we were busy.
Maybe another time.
Cary, we're not busy.
He's probably trying to make amends.
Call him back.
Why? Because you only get so much family in life.
This seems to matter more to me than it does to you.
Wait, no - more to you - No, I just It was nice to see you with family.
My dad kicked me out the door when I was 18.
'Cause his dad kicked him out the door when he was 18.
He never gave me a cent.
Never wanted to know what I was doing.
When I got the deputyship at the state's attorney's office, - he never said a thing.
- That's probably why he's calling now.
To try to make up for it.
People change on you.
You changed on me.
Me? - No.
- Oh, you don't notice it? You're tougher now.
You're smarter about things.
Is that good or bad? Probably neither-- just necessary.
And you.
You're nothing like four years ago.
I thought you were a jerk.
Damn it.
I forgot.
I think she's on Bill Maher tonight.
Who? Therese.
You two seemed to be hitting it off.
All that breast humor, I guess.
Well, that sounds like pure pleasure.
Yep.
Going from office to office, arguing with the FCC.
I personally stripped for each and every one of them.
Uh-oh.
And how did that go over? Well, Commissioner Gill took pictures, but he said it was for educational purposes.
- No.
No, don't.
- And Commissioner Bix Oh, I don't know.
She slipped me her number, but, you know, that can mean anything.
And did you settle anything? Yes, we did.
No more censorship.
Anywhere.
Ever.
These breasts can do anything when they set their minds to it.
So I read about your old boss.
Florrick.
He's got a tricky race going on up there.
- You like him? - I do.
He's a good guy.
Not easy being a good guy in that town.
Your mother sent me something you wrote.
About plea bargains.
Negotiation techniques.
- With a human face.
- Right.
It was smart.
I didn't understand all of it, but what I understood was smart.
Thank you.
Cary.
How are you doing? I'm good.
You? I'm good, I guess.
I don't know how long any of us have, but I'm good.
What do you mean? Nothing.
I just I want to say something before it's too late.
I'm proud of you.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that we haven't been in touch.
What do you mean, "too late"? Nothing.
I'm just talking.
I I think that we should talk at some point.
Dad, what is going on? I'm so sorry to interrupt, Cary.
Mr.
Agos.
- What's wrong? - Uh, we have a problem.
Commissioner Martinez canceled.
He canceled? Till when? No time.
Damn it.
Will and Diane would like us to come back.
It's the Bill Maher thing.
That's what we're thinking.
So sorry, Mr.
Agos.
Well, you should, uh, go and we'll talk soon.
Dad, call me.
Don't worry.
I will.
So Maddie Hayward is not the campaign innocent she pretends to be.
We spoke to the neighborhood watch, and they said they've seen Indira Starr's car there for the last month.
Before she went to Synth magazine? So Maddie's been playing us? - That would make sense.
- Okay.
Things have just gotten ugly.
Jim, get me everything you can on Maddie.
Kalinda - No, thanks.
- Wait, where you going? I have a job, Eli.
Look, you knew this was temporary.
What are you doing? This is for Alicia as much as for Peter.
Nice try, but no.
Yes? You're selling us to Preston.
I'm considering your options.
Your options.
We don't have any options.
You had six years of options.
So y-you're punishing us? I'm trying to keep you - from liquidation.
- By destroying us? - By selling us off in pieces? - No.
By doing what I do: By looking where the money is and where it isn't.
This is not a subtle business, Ms.
Lockhart.
There is either money in the wallet or there isn't.
And when there isn't, wishing there is won't make it so.
How was D.
C.
? Good.
Actually it wasn't good.
Oh, sorry.
It's okay.
It's just work.
How was interviewing? Fine.
Hey, thanks for calling Armstrong & Hayes.
How did that go? I don't think there's a job there.
What did they say? There's no job there.
But they said there was.
- Yes, they lied.
- Why would they do that? Because you're pretty, and they didn't want to say no to you.
Okay.
People aren't mean-- they're just polite liars.
You went back on the job market after how many years away? a fair comparison.
- The job market's a lot harder now.
- How many - interviews did you have before you got this? - Five.
But I knew someone.
Here.
Do you know anyone, Laura? Anyone who could help you? Any connections? Probably? I don't know, but It's just the way it is.
People hire people they know.
It's not wrong.
It just is.
So you need my help? - We do.
- It's in your interest, David.
You hate Burl Preston as much as we do.
- He's not so bad.
- David.
Burl Preston is trying to buy this firm in order to control you.
Do you want to be controlled? No.
But I don't want to be controlled - by you either.
- And if we promised you wouldn't be? Well, I'd be open to discussing.
As long as my capital contribution was part of it.
Cary? Hi.
I thought you were heading back.
Uh I-I was.
I-I am.
I'm in Chicago.
Dad what were you trying to say at breakfast? Dad.
Whatever it is, I can handle it.
Look, it's very hard to talk about it, son.
Your mother thinks that I should wait.
Dad, I am here.
And I'm listening.
All right.
Do you know Senator Byers of Illinois? Yeah.
I have a chance to work as her press secretary, but I need someone to put in a good word with her.
Now, I know that her best friend is Diane Lockhart at your firm, and I was hoping that you might ask her to put in that good word.
That's what you wanted to talk about? Yes.
And that's it? Yes, but it's a lot, son.
I know.
And it would be very helpful because Senator Byers depends a lot on personal recommendations.
And I could talk to Martinez for you, if that would be helpful.
Dad, I got to go.
They need me.
So, you'll do it? You'll ask Diane Lockhart? I don't know.
Let me let me think about it.
Son, it would be very helpful.
Well, I said I'd think about it.
Come again? They are saying that I have a mark on my penis shaped like Brazil.
Uh I Yeah.
What does he want me to say? Well, that's a difficult one.
"No" would be the obvious answer.
Right.
But maybe mixed with some outrage.
Yeah, I don't do outrage well these days.
How about laughter? Well that would be easier.
Good.
Thank you.
That's okay.
Um did you fill Cary's position at the state's attorney's office? No, not yet.
Why? Are you going to? Well, someday when I have time.
There's someone I think you should consider.
An ex-military lawyer.
A captain.
You'd like her.
Really? Yeah.
Do you mind considering her? I don't.
Do you mind talking to the press? Nope.
Good.
It's a deal.
Thanks.
You, too.
Bye.
Well, you two are cheerful.
We've been frozen out.
The last FCC commissioner doesn't want to hear us.
- It's worse.
- I made a few calls, and Commissioner Martinez is still meeting with Parents Against Indecency.
Great.
He doesn't want to meet with you guys, but he's still meeting the opposition tomorrow at 6:00.
One thing we could try - Yes? - We go.
Go where? Martinez at 6:00.
We were disinvited.
We never got the message.
We know he wanted to hear from both Parents Against Indecency and us, and we never got the disinvite.
You crash it.
No, this is the new me.
Smell my perfume; It's called Accommodation.
Oh, it's nice.
Thanks.
I'll catch up with you.
So you're not going to call? You're going to ignore your own father? - Yep.
- I only need one call to Diane Lockhart.
And I only needed one call on my birthday, one call when I was out of work.
Did you know I was the youngest deputy state's attorney ever? Did you know that? We don't do that, Cary.
Other families gush.
You know how I pay a compliment to you now? By needing something from you.
Dad.
No no.
A few years ago I'd jump at the chance to impress you, but it's over.
I won't be calling you again.
My loss.
I'm so sorry, I didn't get the message.
Cary? My gosh, no, I didn't either.
Y-You were canceling? Yes, just a scheduling logjam.
Well, now that we're all here it seems only fair.
All I wanted to do was to make women aware of breast cancer.
And disrobing was making them aware? Would I do it that way again? No, but women needed to see something memorable, something to provoke them.
I'm impressed, Ms.
Dodd.
- Thank you, Commissioner.
- what I have trouble reconciling is this new Therese with the Therese that told this joke: "Rape is never funny.
Unless you're raped by a clown.
" How is this funny, Ms.
Dodd? Sir, that wasn't part of the original act.
I understand that, but I find myself confused by Ms.
Dodd's sense of humor.
Do you know that every 45 seconds, there is another sexual assault in America? So I'm not sure how rape is funny.
The joke isn't about rape, sir.
It's about a ridiculous juxtaposition.
But it makes light of rape, doesn't it? Shall I read it again? I think, sir, you're trying to make a point by putting Ms.
Dodd on the spot.
- Sir, we didn't come - You're right.
It's not funny, Commissioner.
- Therese.
- What? He's right.
Rape is never funny, and the association of clowns and rape is just offensive, and I feel terrible that I wrote it.
Thank you, ma'am, but then I find myself asking, why do you tell these jokes? Because I have a potty mouth.
Are you making fun - of me, Ms.
Dodd? - No.
Never Because that's why we have standards-- to protect the viewers from indecency like this.
Well, if the question is about protecting viewers, they voted with their remotes.
There are more viewers watching the show than ever.
Okay, so I must ask you, Ms.
Dodd, will you sign a pledge that you will never do anything like this on TV again? Ms.
Dodd? I think that's a yes.
I was in the JAG Corps for 12 years and before that, I attended SLS.
SLS? S-Stanford Law.
Oh, I thought that was military jargon.
No.
I grew up in California-- Huntington Beach.
Was your dad in the military? No, a professor of neurobiology at Irvine.
Brothers? No, two sisters, though.
Why did you enlist, then? I don't know.
They needed lawyers.
Well, we're not really short-staffed at the moment, but we're always looking, so we'll keep this résumé on file.
Have you tried the public defenders' office? They're always in need of Mr.
Florrick, hello.
Hi, Geneva.
And you must be Captain Hellinger.
Oh, yes, sir.
Wonderful to meet you.
You're looking for a job, huh? I am, sir.
And you know how little we pay? I've heard rumors.
You could live on that? I tend to be frugal.
Well, that's good.
When can you begin? Now, I mean, if you want.
That's great.
Here's your first case: Breaking and entering.
Geneva will set you up with a cubicle.
Welcome aboard.
Thank you so much.
Um, thank you for your help.
Your Honor, there is still the question of damages.
No, there is the question of whether your negotiations have borne fruit.
We made an effort to reach such a settlement, Your Honor, but the results depend on something yet to be decided.
Mr.
Preston is being coy.
We agreed to argue in front of the FCC on the network's behalf, and if the FCC decided favorably, this lawsuit would go away.
I see.
- And the FCC hasn't decided? - Not yet, but we believe this suit should be dismissed on the basis of an absence of damages.
Damages have already been established, Your Honor-- - the many affiliates dropping our show.
- Yes, but Mr.
Preston recently argued in front of the FCC that there has been a corresponding rise in viewership-- a rise large enough to more than offset the affiliate loss.
That was an argument in another venue.
Your Honor, this suit is an attempt to punish Therese, that's all.
There are no actual damages here, and this suit should be dismissed.
Would you care for some water? No.
My firm will absorb the debt of Lockhart/Gardner and pay out existing capital contributions of existing equity partners, but all severance packages will be the responsibility of the existing partners.
Yes, and you agree to honor the contracts of existing partners.
Only up to a year of the purchase date.
That's fine.
The, the current lease - will be subject to - Hello, Burl.
David what can we do for you? Oh, I'm just watching.
Continue.
Mr.
Lee, this is a private matter.
It's far from private.
I'm just waiting for my emancipation.
Go ahead.
Your emancipation? Yes.
This firm has a stranglehold on me, but as soon as you purchase it, I'm free.
Hallelujah.
You're not free.
You're committed to Lockhart/Gardner.
No, the partners just rewrote my contract.
If this firm is sold or absorbed, I am free to leave.
They can't do that.
Yes, they can.
You can veto their hiring decisions.
You can't veto a nonfinancial side agreement in a partnership contract.
The firm is still in fine shape.
No, thank you.
Good luck with this place.
Unfortunately they enjoy intrigue more than they do making money.
You told your husband to hire me? - No.
- He hired me.
Congratulations.
You didn't say - anything to him? - Well, I said you were a good lawyer.
Okay.
This is all new to me.
What, friends didn't help - friends in the military? - They did, - but never me.
- Well, baptism by fire.
Yes? You're cutting your own throats! Do you know how hard it is to find a suitor like that?! Yes, that's why we did it.
You're losing this firm.
Is that a threat? Take it any way you want, but you are losing this firm.
Mr.
Hayden, you should take a step back.
You've obviously become too invested in our firm.
You don't know me.
I don't step back.
We don't either.
Then get ready to crash.
So, I just heard the FCC isn't going to fine the network.
Yeah, yeah, you're off the hook.
Good.
I have to head out to L.
A.
, so I wanted to say thank you.
Have a good trip.
I will.
I'm not great with byes, so bye.
What'd she say? Good-bye.
That's it? Yeah.
She didn't say anything else? No, why? Well, why did she kiss you yesterday? She's a comedian.
I've spent the last week with my lawyer, trying desperately not to say anything about Brazil and penises.
I suppose there are worse birthmarks to have.
Like Greece.
I mean, who wants a penis that's always in recession? My lawyer says, it really only looks like Brazil when it's erect.
Otherwise it's more like New Jersey.
My name is Therese Dodd and these are my breasts.
Breast cancer is a serious matter.
Early detection can save lives.
And so, as a public service, I will now demonstrate a self-exam.
Hey.
Hey.
This is serious.
You do have a bra on under that, right? No, Joey, what I have is a drive to help women.
Yeah, see, we're live, so it's probably best Okay, there they are.
And did you hear the host say that? Say we were live? Yeah.
But I thought it was like a seven-second delay or something.
Did you just smile at your lawyer because he coached you to say that? - Objection.
- No, I smiled at my lawyer because he's cute.
You're being sued for $2 million, Ms.
Dodd.
I would take this more seriously if I were you.
The first step to a self-exam is Hey, hey.
Stop looking over there.
I am right here.
Cover that up.
We're The first thing you want to do with your (Bleep) - Okay! - Is touch and massage them like so.
We have placed censor boxes over the offending areas, but on that day, your routine was sent out to eight million households.
But you didn't care, did you, Ms.
Dodd? Well, I cared about women being informed about breast cancer.
Oh, Ms.
Dodd, really.
- That's why you disrobed? - Sure.
My mom died of breast cancer last year.
Why else? Because you happened to have a humorous book coming out in two months.
And you didn't care that you were using vulgar language in front of eight million viewers? What do you mean, "vulgar"? Which word? - I think you know, ma'am.
- No, I don't.
Honestly, which one? It rhymes with "bits.
" It rhymes with "bits"? Are we eight years old? You mean ( honk).
Bob, would you close that, please? You enjoy using vulgar language to provoke, - don't you, Ms.
Dodd? - I do.
No further questions, Your Honor.
Therese, did you go on the show - intending to take off your blouse? - No.
And did you feel that the show pushed you to do something outrageous? Oh, yeah, they always have me on to push the envelope.
And you were told that the talk show would be delayed due to a football overrun? - Yes.
- And therefore, you thought that the show would be broadcast during the safe harbor period? Uh what? Safe harbor.
It's the time after 10:00 p.
m.
and before 6:00 a.
m.
when network programs can, according to FCC rules, show nudity and use language like (honk).
Bob, how are we getting on with that window? Yes, Counselor, I thought the show was going on at 10:00 p.
m.
And therefore, the words you used, and the skin you exposed, was problematic only due to the network's self-imposed censorship? Your Honor, it doesn't matter.
The show was taped in Chicago, but broadcast live on the West Coast at 8:00 p.
m.
Yes, but that wasn't Therese's decision.
That was the network's.
She thought the show was safely in the safe harbor.
Ms.
Dodd signed a contract with the network, not with the FCC.
Let me get this straight.
The FCC says I can strip down naked and talk dirty like a cable show, but the network says I can't? Ms.
Dodd, please let your attorney ask the questions.
I'm just surprised, aren't you? The network can show the same stuff as cable, but they choose not to? Your Honor, this lawsuit is a sham.
Mr.
Preston and his client, the network, know they can't get $2 million from my client.
They are suing her for the same reason their Standards and Practices are stricter than the FCC.
For their advertisers.
Mr.
Gardner makes a sound point, Mr.
Preston.
Ms.
Dodd shouldn't be liable for the network's choices.
There's only one question remaining for me and that's premeditation.
Unless you have evidence to prove Ms.
Dodd went on the show intending to perform indecent material-- for instance, an earlier and identical stand-up routine-- then I am prone to dismiss.
I don't understand breasts.
They're made of fat; They sag; they drool; And guys still go for them.
It's like being turned on by Jabba the Hutt.
I've decided to name mine.
This one's Margie.
Margie's the misunderstood one - Anything yet? - No.
Another breast routine.
But different material.
Do you think she's funny? Sometimes.
You? It seems like an easy laugh-- breasts.
Well, guys make penis jokes.
Yeah.
Yeah, those are easy, too.
You've, um, been spending a lot of time with Clarke.
Yeah.
Everything okay? Yeah.
He just he just likes to talk.
Laura? Oh, hello, Alicia.
- How are you? - Good.
You're out of uniform, Captain.
Permanently, Unfortunately.
What? Why? My choice.
I was losing my bearings, things soured.
I'm on the market now.
Whee You're looking for a job? Yeah.
No, not here.
I'm out there checking out the job market.
This is my interview outfit.
So you're here? Oh, my bill.
I haven't paid it yet.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
What? Why? We lost.
But we did our best.
Don't worry.
So can you show me to Clarke Hayden? Um, that door.
And, Laura, if you need anything-- I started over pretty late.
So, if you want to talk.
I'll call you.
Hello? Hello.
What do you think of Brazilian food? What do I What? Yes, Gus, we take Maddie Hayward very seriously as a contender.
But our eye is still on the Republican, Kresteva.
One question.
Maddie's worth $180 million-- that's a lot of ad buys.
You're telling me you're not worried? I'm telling you, these millionaires always burn themselves out after a while because money only gets you so far.
Now does anyone have a question about, you know, the issues? Wait, Eli, Eli.
What about Peter sleeping with a campaign worker? Is that you, Mitch? This is crap and you know it.
Synth printed it, Eli.
A disgraced reporter printed it.
Peter Florrick has categorically denied these charges, and the accuser has been proved a liar.
Now, are there any real questions? Sure.
One.
Okay.
Who's this? Wexler Turner from NSW News.
Uh okay, go for it.
Can you respond to reports that this campaign worker has identified a distinguishing mark on Peter Florrick's anatomy? You're kidding.
No, sir.
She says he has a birthmark on his penis, shaped like Brazil.
Can you confirm or deny that Florrick has such a birthmark? This is How dare you, sir? "At long last, how dare you"? This is an outrage.
Do you guys listen to yourselves any more? Okay, that's the Morning Call for today.
Get the candidate on the phone.
Where is he? And someone call Alicia.
Rebecca Stokes.
I'm a makeup artist with ten years' experience.
And did you do the makeup for the defendant on the night in question? Yes.
Hi, Therese.
And when you do the makeup for guests Strike that.
Was there anything unusual you did - with Ms.
Dodd's makeup? - Yeah.
Uh, no.
I mean, just, um, foundation and blush.
What do you mean? Was there anything unusual regarding the placement? The placement? I, uh You usually only do makeup on the face? Oh, yeah, and sometimes the arms.
And what did Ms.
Dodd ask you to do? Oh, I see.
She wanted makeup on her chest.
And by her chest, you don't mean just the cleavage? I do.
No, uh, but you mean more than that? Oh, yeah.
She wanted both her breasts done.
I thought it was unusual because, you know, the camera is only gonna see the cleavage, but then it made sense after I saw.
Okay.
What do you want? - $2 million.
- Mr.
Preston, our client can't pay a tenth of that.
She can when her book comes out.
And how will that look for your network, bankrupting a comedian whose mother died of breast cancer? It'll look like we take decency on our airwaves seriously.
Then have our client apologize.
Have her do a PSA for you.
No.
Thank you, though.
Yes, Mr.
Hayden.
Nothing.
Just clearing my throat.
Then we have nothing to negotiate.
We'll see you in court.
Parents Against Indecency have bombarded the FCC with letters and complaints regarding Ms.
Dodd's little stunt.
And our expectation is the FCC will fine us the maximum: - $3 million.
- Mr.
Preston, we've already made clear our client can't Over the next two days, I'm meeting individually with three of the FCC commissioners to lobby them.
The three swing votes.
There is one thing your client can do to quash our suit.
Apologize.
Tell them the saintly story of her mom dying of cancer, and her sense of overexuberance at wanting to do something about it.
You'll quash the suit if she does? No, I'll quash the suit if she's successful.
She needs to convince two of the three swing votes for the FCC to drop their fine.
She does that, she doesn't pay a cent.
We have no choice.
I know.
That's not the concern.
The concern is her.
She won't go? No, she will.
She just She needs a babysitter.
Alicia, you go with her to D.
C.
Make sure she stays in line.
Uh, Cary will go with you.
I don't think we need two.
I can stay.
Do you mind giving us a minute? Sure.
You don't think Alicia can do it? No, I think we need to use Cary more.
He's taking a backseat on too many cases.
He complained? No, he didn't have to.
I noticed.
You think I'm holding him back? I think you're the head of litigation, and we need to use Cary more.
That's all.
What's going on there? Nice to meet you, Mr.
Hayden.
And you.
Lockhart/Gardner is a good firm.
It has the feel of a family-run business, but the client base of a Portman & Michaels.
I don't think I You know we're on opposite sides of this suit? I also know you're looking to expand from L.
A.
to the Midwest.
We're looking to build, not purchase.
Yes, but isn't it easier to remodel an existing home than to build a new one? Not if the foundation is compromised.
Well, why don't you test the foundation to see if it's compromised? Does the firm want to be acquired? It's not up to the firm.
It's up to the courts.
With my input.
Then I'll consider it.
You want to know what? We don't want to know anything.
I do.
How is it even possible to have a birthmark shaped like Brazil? So, you don't? No, Jim.
I don't.
Would you like to check? Okay, here's the problem.
We buried the affair story, but this is different.
This is late-night fodder.
It's also the perfect political trap.
We can't have the candidate say that he doesn't have a Brazil-shaped birthmark on his penis.
We can't have surrogates say it because how did they see? We could have the wife.
No.
No.
Then we change the subject.
Boy.
You ever wonder about this country? All the time.
Well, here's the real worry.
If this is the perfect political trap, I don't think Indira Starr was smart enough to think it up.
Kresteva? Sounds like him.
I think our Republican opponent is up to his old tricks.
I'm on it.
What do you have? To change the subject? - Mm-hmm.
- A rumor.
Maddie Hayward, your primary opponent-- she's sleeping with her aide.
Mmm, not big enough.
She's single.
The aide is a girl.
Okay.
Our fingerprints cannot be on this.
And get some photos if you can.
So, I have to tell three FCC commissioners about my mom dying of cancer? I believe in you.
Do you like Coldplay? Do I like them? Enough.
- I hate them.
- Okay.
When I get to the part about my mom's hair falling out, I want you to hum "Fix You.
" She only needs two of the three swing votes.
Can she do it? She's motivated.
Good.
It must be difficult, this bankruptcy.
Not really.
But you've lost 40% of your attorneys? We still have our major clients.
Even family law? They have their major clients? Yes.
Why? Rank, unfettered curiosity.
You don't have to tell me.
I'm on your side.
Wow.
That was easy.
They made me think I had to take you in the next room - and give you a - So, we can depend on your vote, sir? Certainly.
But I've always thought you network folk were too terrified of us at the FCC anyway.
We're not the ones infantilizing entertainment.
- That's what I told him.
- So hypocritical.
You allow yourselves to show naked bodies just as long as they're bruised and covered in blood.
Yeah.
Why is that, Burl? - We're not talking about - Tell us.
Okay.
Thank you so much, Commissioner Gill.
I haven't talked about my mom dying yet.
That's okay, Therese.
Okay.
Thank you.
Nice paperweight.
First effort in metal shop or something? That's from 9/11.
Oh.
Damn those terrorists and their paperweights.
I know, I know.
Comedy killer.
Do you think we'll be all right? He's on board, but we can't be going off script like that.
Cary? Sir.
I didn't know you were in town.
- Work.
The FCC.
- Ah.
But you're still with, um? Lockhart/Gardner, yeah.
Uh, excuse me.
This is my colleague, Alicia Florrick.
My father, Jeffrey Agos.
Really? - What a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Agos.
- And you.
How's Mom? Good.
Last I heard.
- Martha? - Uh, overseas in China.
Back in a month.
And how's, uh, that girl of yours? That girl? Which one? The last one.
The pretty one.
- You mean from law school? - Yes.
- I haven't seen her in five years, Dad.
- Ah.
It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Agos.
Cary is quite the lawyer.
So, who are you here to see? Commissioner Bix today.
Martinez tomorrow.
Ah.
You want me to put in a good word for you? Had lunch with them both.
No, we're fine.
How long you been doing this? Watching Maddie's house? No.
This.
The business.
A while.
Me, too.
That her? The aide? No.
Who is it? Indira Starr.
She's meeting with Maddie Hayward? That explains who's behind the birthmark rumor.
First of all, no 9/11 jokes.
Are we agreed? Oh, no.
I thought the commissioner was just meeting with us.
What? Punch Sutton.
The chair of Parents Against Indecency.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Laura.
How are you? Good.
Really good, I think.
I just I need your help.
Do you know Eddie Kolakowski at Armstrong, Hayes & LeGarde? Uh, yes.
I mean, by name.
Do you think you could call him and say nice things about me? Certainly.
So, the interview went well? I hate saying that and jinxing things, but they said it's between me and one other person.
That's fantastic.
In this economy? I know.
It's really a cattle call out here.
Well, I will call.
And congratulations.
Don't say that yet.
Take it back.
We have over 3,000 complaints, Commissioner, all regarding this full frontal nudity.
Yes, but all those complaints were organized by Parents Against Indecency itself.
We have children, just like you.
We're worried about the vulgarization of our culture.
This isn't about one swear word or a glimpse of a breast.
This is about the floodgates But the floodgates are open, sir.
The screens have multiplied-- with iPads, iPods, the Internet Then you should be happy.
There are many avenues for this type of content.
But why is it wrong to insist on one place where parents don't always have to be on the defensive? - Don't.
- But you allowed exactly this kind of nudity and profanity on network TV, Commissioner.
I did not.
Schindler's List had full frontal nudity and was shown, without FCC objection, at 9:00 p.
m.
Do you really want to suggest Ms.
Dodd's little striptease had the same merit as Schindler's List? If you were a woman with breast cancer, it did.
It is our argument that the Spielberg exception is unfair restraint.
You can't make an allowance for one filmmaker and not another.
They don't make it for a filmmaker; They make it for a filmmaker's work.
Ms.
Dodd, what are your thoughts? Oh.
Well I don't think I'm any less decent than Spielberg.
I mean, have you seen him eat? Maybe it would help if you explain to Commissioner Bix your reasons for your breast exam.
Yeah.
Well, uh, my mom died.
She was funny.
And, uh, she got breast cancer.
I remember the day she died.
Uh, I think she had gas or something because she just let out the most massive passing of gas.
And, uh, she kept cracking jokes about it.
Uh, and I just thought, wow.
You know, I couldn't believe it.
So close to death and still making jokes.
I just can't do it.
I know what you want-- me holding her hand and staring into her deep, sad eyes-- but anything else.
I'll kitsch up anything you want, but just not this.
Then get ready to pay $2 million.
No.
Gill is still with us, so I think we're tied.
We're not sure about Bix.
It all comes down to tomorrow-- Commissioner Martinez.
Okay, good.
Keep us in touch.
Oh, and one other thing.
This might not be anything, but Burl's been asking about our firm.
He What do you mean? He asked about Chapter 11, how it's going.
What did you say? I said we were doing well.
That we had our major clients.
Was that the wrong thing to say? I don't know.
Was there anything else? He asked about family law, how it was doing.
Uh, one second, Alicia.
He's after us.
That's what the meeting with Clarke was yesterday.
Alicia, if you get a chance, tell him we lost our top client, Edelstein.
You want me to emphasize we're not doing well? Yes, please.
Um, we'll call again.
Our trustee is looking for a buyer.
Preston is mostly about divorce.
That's why family law.
What do we do? We could fight in court.
The judge will side with Clarke.
We need $60 million to get out from under him.
We're at $12 million.
No, she was great.
Just out of the military, right? Right.
I just wanted to offer a reference, tell you how great she is.
Yeah, she seemed great.
So, are you looking for litigators with trial experience? Well, actually, between us, we're not looking for anyone.
You're not? Sh-She seemed to think there was a job there.
Well, we like to keep our hand in.
Meet and interview, see who's out there.
Same as you guys.
So, are you going to tell her there's no job? What do you mean? Well, she thinks it's between her and someone else.
Oh.
Could you hold for a moment, please? Hello.
Hello.
Is Cary there? Cary? Oh.
No.
Mr.
Agos? Uh, this is Alicia Florrick.
I'm in 206.
He's next door in 207.
Ah.
Well, my apologies.
Thank you.
Mr.
Kolakowski? I'm Hello? Hello Cary Agos.
- No, I just - I hadn't seen him in years.
He's We're not very close.
He's a lobbyist? Yeah.
Yeah, so is my mom.
My new mom.
You should have breakfast with him.
Why? Because he asked you.
I said we were busy.
Maybe another time.
Cary, we're not busy.
He's probably trying to make amends.
Call him back.
Why? Because you only get so much family in life.
This seems to matter more to me than it does to you.
Wait, no - more to you - No, I just It was nice to see you with family.
My dad kicked me out the door when I was 18.
'Cause his dad kicked him out the door when he was 18.
He never gave me a cent.
Never wanted to know what I was doing.
When I got the deputyship at the state's attorney's office, - he never said a thing.
- That's probably why he's calling now.
To try to make up for it.
People change on you.
You changed on me.
Me? - No.
- Oh, you don't notice it? You're tougher now.
You're smarter about things.
Is that good or bad? Probably neither-- just necessary.
And you.
You're nothing like four years ago.
I thought you were a jerk.
Damn it.
I forgot.
I think she's on Bill Maher tonight.
Who? Therese.
You two seemed to be hitting it off.
All that breast humor, I guess.
Well, that sounds like pure pleasure.
Yep.
Going from office to office, arguing with the FCC.
I personally stripped for each and every one of them.
Uh-oh.
And how did that go over? Well, Commissioner Gill took pictures, but he said it was for educational purposes.
- No.
No, don't.
- And Commissioner Bix Oh, I don't know.
She slipped me her number, but, you know, that can mean anything.
And did you settle anything? Yes, we did.
No more censorship.
Anywhere.
Ever.
These breasts can do anything when they set their minds to it.
So I read about your old boss.
Florrick.
He's got a tricky race going on up there.
- You like him? - I do.
He's a good guy.
Not easy being a good guy in that town.
Your mother sent me something you wrote.
About plea bargains.
Negotiation techniques.
- With a human face.
- Right.
It was smart.
I didn't understand all of it, but what I understood was smart.
Thank you.
Cary.
How are you doing? I'm good.
You? I'm good, I guess.
I don't know how long any of us have, but I'm good.
What do you mean? Nothing.
I just I want to say something before it's too late.
I'm proud of you.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that we haven't been in touch.
What do you mean, "too late"? Nothing.
I'm just talking.
I I think that we should talk at some point.
Dad, what is going on? I'm so sorry to interrupt, Cary.
Mr.
Agos.
- What's wrong? - Uh, we have a problem.
Commissioner Martinez canceled.
He canceled? Till when? No time.
Damn it.
Will and Diane would like us to come back.
It's the Bill Maher thing.
That's what we're thinking.
So sorry, Mr.
Agos.
Well, you should, uh, go and we'll talk soon.
Dad, call me.
Don't worry.
I will.
So Maddie Hayward is not the campaign innocent she pretends to be.
We spoke to the neighborhood watch, and they said they've seen Indira Starr's car there for the last month.
Before she went to Synth magazine? So Maddie's been playing us? - That would make sense.
- Okay.
Things have just gotten ugly.
Jim, get me everything you can on Maddie.
Kalinda - No, thanks.
- Wait, where you going? I have a job, Eli.
Look, you knew this was temporary.
What are you doing? This is for Alicia as much as for Peter.
Nice try, but no.
Yes? You're selling us to Preston.
I'm considering your options.
Your options.
We don't have any options.
You had six years of options.
So y-you're punishing us? I'm trying to keep you - from liquidation.
- By destroying us? - By selling us off in pieces? - No.
By doing what I do: By looking where the money is and where it isn't.
This is not a subtle business, Ms.
Lockhart.
There is either money in the wallet or there isn't.
And when there isn't, wishing there is won't make it so.
How was D.
C.
? Good.
Actually it wasn't good.
Oh, sorry.
It's okay.
It's just work.
How was interviewing? Fine.
Hey, thanks for calling Armstrong & Hayes.
How did that go? I don't think there's a job there.
What did they say? There's no job there.
But they said there was.
- Yes, they lied.
- Why would they do that? Because you're pretty, and they didn't want to say no to you.
Okay.
People aren't mean-- they're just polite liars.
You went back on the job market after how many years away? a fair comparison.
- The job market's a lot harder now.
- How many - interviews did you have before you got this? - Five.
But I knew someone.
Here.
Do you know anyone, Laura? Anyone who could help you? Any connections? Probably? I don't know, but It's just the way it is.
People hire people they know.
It's not wrong.
It just is.
So you need my help? - We do.
- It's in your interest, David.
You hate Burl Preston as much as we do.
- He's not so bad.
- David.
Burl Preston is trying to buy this firm in order to control you.
Do you want to be controlled? No.
But I don't want to be controlled - by you either.
- And if we promised you wouldn't be? Well, I'd be open to discussing.
As long as my capital contribution was part of it.
Cary? Hi.
I thought you were heading back.
Uh I-I was.
I-I am.
I'm in Chicago.
Dad what were you trying to say at breakfast? Dad.
Whatever it is, I can handle it.
Look, it's very hard to talk about it, son.
Your mother thinks that I should wait.
Dad, I am here.
And I'm listening.
All right.
Do you know Senator Byers of Illinois? Yeah.
I have a chance to work as her press secretary, but I need someone to put in a good word with her.
Now, I know that her best friend is Diane Lockhart at your firm, and I was hoping that you might ask her to put in that good word.
That's what you wanted to talk about? Yes.
And that's it? Yes, but it's a lot, son.
I know.
And it would be very helpful because Senator Byers depends a lot on personal recommendations.
And I could talk to Martinez for you, if that would be helpful.
Dad, I got to go.
They need me.
So, you'll do it? You'll ask Diane Lockhart? I don't know.
Let me let me think about it.
Son, it would be very helpful.
Well, I said I'd think about it.
Come again? They are saying that I have a mark on my penis shaped like Brazil.
Uh I Yeah.
What does he want me to say? Well, that's a difficult one.
"No" would be the obvious answer.
Right.
But maybe mixed with some outrage.
Yeah, I don't do outrage well these days.
How about laughter? Well that would be easier.
Good.
Thank you.
That's okay.
Um did you fill Cary's position at the state's attorney's office? No, not yet.
Why? Are you going to? Well, someday when I have time.
There's someone I think you should consider.
An ex-military lawyer.
A captain.
You'd like her.
Really? Yeah.
Do you mind considering her? I don't.
Do you mind talking to the press? Nope.
Good.
It's a deal.
Thanks.
You, too.
Bye.
Well, you two are cheerful.
We've been frozen out.
The last FCC commissioner doesn't want to hear us.
- It's worse.
- I made a few calls, and Commissioner Martinez is still meeting with Parents Against Indecency.
Great.
He doesn't want to meet with you guys, but he's still meeting the opposition tomorrow at 6:00.
One thing we could try - Yes? - We go.
Go where? Martinez at 6:00.
We were disinvited.
We never got the message.
We know he wanted to hear from both Parents Against Indecency and us, and we never got the disinvite.
You crash it.
No, this is the new me.
Smell my perfume; It's called Accommodation.
Oh, it's nice.
Thanks.
I'll catch up with you.
So you're not going to call? You're going to ignore your own father? - Yep.
- I only need one call to Diane Lockhart.
And I only needed one call on my birthday, one call when I was out of work.
Did you know I was the youngest deputy state's attorney ever? Did you know that? We don't do that, Cary.
Other families gush.
You know how I pay a compliment to you now? By needing something from you.
Dad.
No no.
A few years ago I'd jump at the chance to impress you, but it's over.
I won't be calling you again.
My loss.
I'm so sorry, I didn't get the message.
Cary? My gosh, no, I didn't either.
Y-You were canceling? Yes, just a scheduling logjam.
Well, now that we're all here it seems only fair.
All I wanted to do was to make women aware of breast cancer.
And disrobing was making them aware? Would I do it that way again? No, but women needed to see something memorable, something to provoke them.
I'm impressed, Ms.
Dodd.
- Thank you, Commissioner.
- what I have trouble reconciling is this new Therese with the Therese that told this joke: "Rape is never funny.
Unless you're raped by a clown.
" How is this funny, Ms.
Dodd? Sir, that wasn't part of the original act.
I understand that, but I find myself confused by Ms.
Dodd's sense of humor.
Do you know that every 45 seconds, there is another sexual assault in America? So I'm not sure how rape is funny.
The joke isn't about rape, sir.
It's about a ridiculous juxtaposition.
But it makes light of rape, doesn't it? Shall I read it again? I think, sir, you're trying to make a point by putting Ms.
Dodd on the spot.
- Sir, we didn't come - You're right.
It's not funny, Commissioner.
- Therese.
- What? He's right.
Rape is never funny, and the association of clowns and rape is just offensive, and I feel terrible that I wrote it.
Thank you, ma'am, but then I find myself asking, why do you tell these jokes? Because I have a potty mouth.
Are you making fun - of me, Ms.
Dodd? - No.
Never Because that's why we have standards-- to protect the viewers from indecency like this.
Well, if the question is about protecting viewers, they voted with their remotes.
There are more viewers watching the show than ever.
Okay, so I must ask you, Ms.
Dodd, will you sign a pledge that you will never do anything like this on TV again? Ms.
Dodd? I think that's a yes.
I was in the JAG Corps for 12 years and before that, I attended SLS.
SLS? S-Stanford Law.
Oh, I thought that was military jargon.
No.
I grew up in California-- Huntington Beach.
Was your dad in the military? No, a professor of neurobiology at Irvine.
Brothers? No, two sisters, though.
Why did you enlist, then? I don't know.
They needed lawyers.
Well, we're not really short-staffed at the moment, but we're always looking, so we'll keep this résumé on file.
Have you tried the public defenders' office? They're always in need of Mr.
Florrick, hello.
Hi, Geneva.
And you must be Captain Hellinger.
Oh, yes, sir.
Wonderful to meet you.
You're looking for a job, huh? I am, sir.
And you know how little we pay? I've heard rumors.
You could live on that? I tend to be frugal.
Well, that's good.
When can you begin? Now, I mean, if you want.
That's great.
Here's your first case: Breaking and entering.
Geneva will set you up with a cubicle.
Welcome aboard.
Thank you so much.
Um, thank you for your help.
Your Honor, there is still the question of damages.
No, there is the question of whether your negotiations have borne fruit.
We made an effort to reach such a settlement, Your Honor, but the results depend on something yet to be decided.
Mr.
Preston is being coy.
We agreed to argue in front of the FCC on the network's behalf, and if the FCC decided favorably, this lawsuit would go away.
I see.
- And the FCC hasn't decided? - Not yet, but we believe this suit should be dismissed on the basis of an absence of damages.
Damages have already been established, Your Honor-- - the many affiliates dropping our show.
- Yes, but Mr.
Preston recently argued in front of the FCC that there has been a corresponding rise in viewership-- a rise large enough to more than offset the affiliate loss.
That was an argument in another venue.
Your Honor, this suit is an attempt to punish Therese, that's all.
There are no actual damages here, and this suit should be dismissed.
Would you care for some water? No.
My firm will absorb the debt of Lockhart/Gardner and pay out existing capital contributions of existing equity partners, but all severance packages will be the responsibility of the existing partners.
Yes, and you agree to honor the contracts of existing partners.
Only up to a year of the purchase date.
That's fine.
The, the current lease - will be subject to - Hello, Burl.
David what can we do for you? Oh, I'm just watching.
Continue.
Mr.
Lee, this is a private matter.
It's far from private.
I'm just waiting for my emancipation.
Go ahead.
Your emancipation? Yes.
This firm has a stranglehold on me, but as soon as you purchase it, I'm free.
Hallelujah.
You're not free.
You're committed to Lockhart/Gardner.
No, the partners just rewrote my contract.
If this firm is sold or absorbed, I am free to leave.
They can't do that.
Yes, they can.
You can veto their hiring decisions.
You can't veto a nonfinancial side agreement in a partnership contract.
The firm is still in fine shape.
No, thank you.
Good luck with this place.
Unfortunately they enjoy intrigue more than they do making money.
You told your husband to hire me? - No.
- He hired me.
Congratulations.
You didn't say - anything to him? - Well, I said you were a good lawyer.
Okay.
This is all new to me.
What, friends didn't help - friends in the military? - They did, - but never me.
- Well, baptism by fire.
Yes? You're cutting your own throats! Do you know how hard it is to find a suitor like that?! Yes, that's why we did it.
You're losing this firm.
Is that a threat? Take it any way you want, but you are losing this firm.
Mr.
Hayden, you should take a step back.
You've obviously become too invested in our firm.
You don't know me.
I don't step back.
We don't either.
Then get ready to crash.
So, I just heard the FCC isn't going to fine the network.
Yeah, yeah, you're off the hook.
Good.
I have to head out to L.
A.
, so I wanted to say thank you.
Have a good trip.
I will.
I'm not great with byes, so bye.
What'd she say? Good-bye.
That's it? Yeah.
She didn't say anything else? No, why? Well, why did she kiss you yesterday? She's a comedian.
I've spent the last week with my lawyer, trying desperately not to say anything about Brazil and penises.
I suppose there are worse birthmarks to have.
Like Greece.
I mean, who wants a penis that's always in recession? My lawyer says, it really only looks like Brazil when it's erect.
Otherwise it's more like New Jersey.