The West Wing s04e07 Episode Script
Election Night
Previously on The West Wing: - It's over.
- You'll be back.
Let's go, 10 bucks.
Ten bucks for you.
It was the president's idea.
Bet us you couldn't stay quiet if he gave a bad answer.
Horton Wilde in Orange County is in the hospital.
His 4th heart attack.
Who knows when he'll resume a campaign.
- He's dead.
- President wins the debate tomorrow you marry me again.
- Will Bailey, come inside? - The campaign's embarrassing to us.
- I'm not embarrassed by it.
If you can't find a Democrat, tell Kay I'll do it.
Andy's pregnant, with twins.
Thank you.
- You're Josh Lyman, aren't you? - Yeah.
I've seen your picture a lot.
- Can I ask you something? - Sure.
Bartlet's on the ballot for the Democratic Party and for the Statehood Party.
It's okay that I voted for him in both columns, right? No, you can't vote for him in two columns.
I already did.
Your ballot's gonna be invalidated.
- What for? - You're allowed to vote once.
He's on the ballot twice.
He's on it more.
He's on it as the Liberal Party nominee - I'm saying, I'm for Statehood.
Me too, and yours is a vote we didn't get.
I'm so sorry to interrupt did you say you're supposed to vote for the president in both columns? No.
No.
You can vote for the president in whatever column you want but you can only vote once.
- He's right.
- Yes I'm Yes.
- And I'll tell you a secret for a shortcut.
If you just, say, vote for one Democrat and leave the rest of the boxes blank, then you voted for all the Democrats.
Yes.
No.
It doesn't You can't vote for a party, you have to vote for a person.
- No, I think you're wrong.
- I'm not.
I left all but one box blank.
Well, then, you voted for none but one candidate.
Nuts.
Did you vote for the president? Was the president the one? - Who remembers? - It was a minute and a half ago.
- Don't be rude.
- I'm sorry.
Thank you for voting.
- Excuse me.
- Yes, what? Yes.
Yes, hello.
- You're who I think you are, right? - I can be anybody you want.
- That's funny.
- Thank you.
I saw you getting run over by those people.
Just part of the job, ma'am.
I guess you hear some pretty silly questions.
Well, I'm just worried because they all tried to vote for Bartlet.
If this keeps up we're headed toward the biggest electoral upset in history.
Nobody's gonna figure out why.
Right.
It's the same thing with my parents.
I tell them, rank the candidates in order of preference.
Right.
No.
Mr.
Lyman, voted for your boy in all three boxes.
No, listen to me, your ballot is invalid.
So is yours.
Punch the box next to the candidate you prefer once.
Nothing else.
- I'm sorry, one more thing? - Yes? I have a message from Toby Ziegler.
- What? - I have a message from Toby Ziegler.
You know Toby? He says: "Ten dollars.
" I see.
You guys are a little troupe a little acting troupe, with a U.
- Yes, sir, we are.
- Can I give you a card? - No.
Mr.
Ziegler said you were edgy on election days so to show there are no hard feelings how about I go there and vote for the president, now.
As a matter of fact, that'd be nice.
No problem.
Do you happen to know if I need to be I don't know, pre-registered or something? Yes! The teachers have 500 red and blue "Bartlet-Hoynes" banners.
- That plus 600 from Building Trades.
- No.
- I'm sorry? - No.
- Why? - The partisanship's over.
We elected a president.
This is for everybody.
No banners tonight, American flags But use the Seal, I'll put Senate and House Leadership up there.
- No balloons, no confetti.
- Why? - It's not a party.
- It is a party.
- But we won.
We don't have to pander.
- Don't say that.
On your birthday, don't we pander? - Not as much as I'd like.
- Not kidding.
- What are you babbling about? - We haven't won.
- The speech is done.
- Two speeches.
- What's the second? - One if he wins one if he doesn't.
- You wrote a concession? Of course I wrote a concession.
You wanna tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing? - No.
- Then go outside, turn around and spit.
What's the matter with you? - It's like 25 degrees outside.
- Go.
- Hello.
- Mr.
Lyman.
I see your picture in the magazine.
Tell me, if I swallow my ballot, does it? - Election Day humor, great.
- He wrote a concession speech.
Of course he wrote it.
Why wouldn't he? What possible reason would he have for not writing a concession speech? - The wrath from high atop the thing? - He upped and said we were gonna No, go outside, turn around three times and curse.
- Spit.
- Spit and curse.
- Do everything.
Go.
- Go! - Go! - Go! These things have a half-life.
You can't - We're meeting again when? - First round of exits at 11.
Eleven o'clock unless there's a reason earlier.
- Can I have you two seconds? - Yeah.
- What do you need? - Hang on.
- There's trouble? - A little bit.
- For the president? - For you.
I know better than to stick my face in your personal life.
Except, you know, for sport.
- What happened? - Roll Call's got it from the Office of Congress's attending physician that Andy's pregnant.
When did they start doing more than flu vaccinations? They need updated records.
Roll Call doesn't need updated records, though.
They're gonna connect the dots.
It's gonna be bad for her and bad for you.
- You mean bad for us.
- I can handle the us.
- What's her plan? - I don't know.
- Toby.
- I don't know.
We haven't talked.
- She's gotta be proactive.
- Yeah.
It'd be nice if we could announce a wedding.
- I'm working on that, thanks.
- You'll talk to her? - Yeah.
- Thanks.
- Did you? - Yes, I turned, I cursed, I spat, it froze.
- You can't be too careful.
- I think you can.
Sam, you got Will Bailey calling from California.
"Won't you come home, Will Bailey? Won't you come home?" Sancho, how you doing? -I'm Sancho? - Yeah.
- Can I ask you something? - Yes, grasshopper.
- How much do you know on exit polls? - What's to know? You stand 100 yards away and say"Who'd you vote for?" You can't afford exit polls.
I've got volunteers out there.
- And? - Something weird's going on.
- What? - We're winning.
- What do you mean? - We're down one in Spyglass Hill even in Emerald Bay and up three in El Toro Station.
- Can I give you free advice? - Yeah.
It's not advice so much as I'm saying this: Democrats vote early.
Okay? And diehards vote early.
You want me to call in every couple of hours? - Every hour.
- Okay.
Bonnie Democrats vote early, right? - Yeah.
Ginger? Democrats and diehards vote early, right? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Mrs.
Bartlet, can you tell us who you voted for? - Nobody, I was just fixing my makeup.
- How are you spending the day? Filling out Chicago ballots, just pitching in.
He's gonna be flying around thanking supporters.
- Is there any suspense at all today? - Well, there are about 14 competitive Senate races, about 46 House races right here in New Hampshire there's a 600-million-dollar bond issue plus, no one's elected my husband president yet.
Mr.
President, polls show a dogfight here in New Hampshire.
How would you feel if you won the election, but lost your home state? Better than if I won my home state, but lost my home country.
But the only poll that matters closes in 17 hours.
- Did you vote for the bond issue? - Title 63, Chapter 659, Section 43 of New Hampshire Election Code says: "Electioneering is prohibited within a corridor 10 feet wide extending a distance from the entrance door as determined by the moderator where the election is being held.
" If anyone knows what that means.
Yeah, I voted for the bond issue.
It'll improve public education without a tax abatement.
- Mr.
President.
Mr.
President, do you have anything to say to Governor Ritchie today? Well, one way or another, I imagine we'll be talking tonight.
I gotta get back.
You can hockle Abbey for a while, she's taking the next plane.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
- These are for your signature.
- Yeah.
- Could you score me a couple of aspirin? - Yes, sir.
- Got a headache? - I'm fine.
- Should I ask the doctors to? - It's just a headache.
- Just me and you today, okay? I'm fine.
- Yes, sir.
- I'll sign these in the car.
- Yes, sir.
Come on.
Okay, this can wait.
Let's go.
Nothing's happening right now.
By the end of the night, Polls have been open in the East for six and a half hours.
You know how many votes have been cast? One percent.
Everybody votes after work.
Not me, I vote first thing.
The VNS exit polls are down in Michigan for a little while.
And it's raining in Oregon.
This is like the ionization blackout period.
Pumpkin Patch, anything I can do to get you to the movies for eight hours? - Senior Staff.
- Yeah.
- But can you do me a favor? - What do you need? This is a photocopy of my absentee ballot.
I was hoping the president could sign it and I'd have it framed.
- Yeah.
You know the president's the first winner I voted for? - Is this a joke? - It's not hard to believe - No, I mean this.
- What are you talking about? Toby already did the thing this morning with the invalid ballots.
- My ballot's invalid? - This isn't a joke? - It's invalid? - You voted for Ritchie.
- Where? - Here.
Oh, my God.
Your picking-the-winner streak is probably over.
No, no, no.
It's an optical scan ballot.
I drew a line through the Democratic ticket.
Almost.
You drew a line through the Republican ticket.
You didn't ticket-split.
You voted for every Republican in Wisconsin.
Check.
You may have voted for McCarthy.
- I'm gonna rectify this.
- How? I don't know, but it'll be counted.
- It will.
- I don't want it counted.
- I'm going, you still want? - Give me that.
Hey, I'm going in, okay? - Hey, Josh.
No.
- I'm sorry? - It's the Senior Staff meeting.
- I'm Senior Staff.
- You don't have your briefing memo.
- How do you know? I'm sorry.
Do you have it? No.
- I memorized it.
- Did you get my e-mail on the three new rules for the week? - I got it.
I read it.
It was good stuff.
It's possible the salient details escape me.
Rule number two: You don't attend Daily Senior Staff without the briefing memo.
The agenda's outlined and there are up-to-the-minute details on priority items, and still half the meeting is spent regurgitating the memo for members who have difficulty holding onto salient details.
That's fair, and next time I'm gonna remember the memo.
I'm confident you will because you're gonna remember it this time too.
- You want me to go back and get it? - I do.
Okay.
All right.
- I'm gonna humor the new girl.
- Appreciate it.
- Going to get your briefing memo? - Yes.
Charlie, Security called for you.
They'd like to see you out front.
- Security? - Yeah.
What the hell? Anthony.
Michelle, he's with me.
- Which one? - The regular-sized one.
Who are you? - Orlando Kettles, boss, how you doing? - Fine, thanks.
- Anthony.
- Yeah, you know, I brought him today.
First of all, they're a little prickly about security here.
You're not down as"Anthony plus one.
" You see the guns standing around now? Boy's going to Columbus, starting right tackle for the Buckeyes.
True freshman.
I hand you the ball, run behind him, have coffee.
He's gonna play on Sundays.
- You his agent? - Don't have nothing in writing.
- What's he doing here, Anthony? - He got pulled over with an open can of Pabst.
- He was You were driving drunk? No way, boss.
He passed the Breathalyzer.
It was the open can of Pabst.
But Saturday's St.
Erasmus Academy, that's a big game for a senior.
- Wanna put a hurt on some blue blazers? - Anthony.
Coach is gonna sit him down because of the Pabst, unless - Unless what? - You know, you do your thing.
- My thing? - Write him a note.
- Saying what? - He's a good guy, Charlie.
- He does his business.
- I'm not Officer Krupke.
I have a job.
Try to think back to the days before you were secretary of state.
There are good guys and bad guys.
When good guys stop letting you play with them, bad guys have a recruiting field day.
When did you start talking like Mickey Spillane? - I don't know.
Who's Officer Cupcake? - Okay, you're seeing a musical.
Man, look at the size of him, Charlie.
He's not done growing either.
Who do you want him playing for? What else has he got? - What else? - Priors.
Nothing, man.
I swear.
He stole a goat.
- A goat? - Yeah.
Why did he? No.
I don't care.
- You got his Social Security number? - Yeah.
- Orlando, got practice this afternoon? - Oh, yeah.
You're not going.
It's Election Day.
You're gonna spend it with me.
Yo, man, I've done wind sprints, I'll take the swap.
Follow me.
This is the White House.
Frederick Douglass came here.
Mondays through Fridays we wear coats and ties.
You too, Mugsy.
Hey, Charlie, not for nothing, but so you know some higher-end places provide a jacket for you.
Right.
You're confusing the White House with the Friars Club.
The people I work with are serious, so don't embarrass me.
- You got it, boss.
- We're gonna have to wait till the Secret Service Sorry, man, that wasn't cool.
- How you doing? - You all right? He should You should play football.
Hey, man, I'm trying, you know, but I had an open Pabst and that's the way that goes.
- Yeah.
Let's go.
Rule number two: Daily Senior Staff will something the briefing memo.
I have the memo, I'm going.
- Yeah.
No.
- No? No, have you read rule number one? The salient details The meeting starts on time.
If you're not there, you don't go in.
- That's insanity.
- Well, I'm quite mad.
There has to be a natural fluidity to these things.
It's how we work best.
You can't say that every meeting has to I didn't.
The e-mail, which is exactly this long, in case as a boy you had a frightening experience with Balzac, and that's why you didn't read it says,"This applies only to the Daily Senior Staff meeting.
" One meeting it's gonna be important to be on time.
Well, I think that's a random cracking of the whip.
According to the last the president is typically 70 to 90 minutes over-scheduled by the end of the day.
The median time a day ends the over-under is 10:20 p.
m.
As many days have ended after that time as have ended before it.
The result being, the Commander in Chief of the U.
S.
Armed Forces hasn't had a night's sleep in four years.
That's both bad and easy to fix.
Okay.
Well, yes, that's hard to argue against.
I'll remember this talk next time.
I have confidence that you will.
Okay.
Well, I'm going in now, all right? Sweet of you to tell me a joke, Josh.
You're the funny one, I can tell.
All right.
This is your little part of the store and I respect that.
See what I did there? Respect.
No one's bigger than the game.
- You're an example for the kids.
- Yeah.
- I'm going out for about 20 minutes.
- Where? There's a polling place nearby, I'm gonna find someone to swap votes.
A Ritchie supporter to vote for the president to offset my absentee ballot.
- Really.
- It's Election Day, I'm doing this.
- It's gonna take 20 minutes? - Yeah, I'll be right back.
You bet.
Toby.
- He can't talk.
- Okay.
We're late for the first sonogram.
Big needle, 18 inches, right in the stomach, Toby, don't look at it.
- Yeah, that's amniocentesis.
- Hurts like heartbreak.
- You've had the procedure? - Not me personally.
Toby, it's a good idea to slip the nurse something.
Tell her you're hoping for a smooth second trimester.
- You grease the nurse? - He's kidding.
Give me one second, would you? I'll catch up.
- Sports fans, this is getting exciting.
- Yes.
So, what do you think, like, 50 bucks? I don't know, it's your first, it's twins.
I don't know, I think I'd give her 100.
Yeah, okay.
In your life you have never been on time to this meeting.
I wasn't actually.
I was just incredibly late to the meeting right before it.
- Well, that's the trick then.
- Yeah.
Sam, Will Bailey's on the phone if you want him.
That name sounds familiar.
He's a guy in California.
He's on the phone and I'm gonna talk to him now.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Everything all right? - Yeah.
California 47th.
He was the guy running Horton Wilde? - Yeah.
- They're gonna lose by 20 points.
Really? You're getting that from the exits? - Yeah.
- Great.
- Great? - No.
I mean, it's a tough beat what with dying and all.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna talk to him now, okay? - Okay.
- Hey.
- I think we're still up.
Josh says the exits have you down 20.
He means the tracking.
The last one was a week ago, then the DNC left town.
- He said the exits.
- Hey, when I said"exits" before I meant tracking.
They did the last one a week ago, then left town.
Yeah, they may have called that putt a little early.
Sam, it'd help if we could get added to the president's afternoon satellite.
- We could use some radio at drive time.
- Yeah.
Will, no kidding drive time's also when the plants get out and the real Orange County votes that's when you turn into a pumpkin.
Don't get your hopes up.
No, just a good showing.
Cover the spread.
All right.
- What'd he say? - Don't get hopes up.
- Are they? - No.
Everybody on the street.
But we're gonna make history.
Roll Call has the pregnancy.
What? Roll Call has the pregnancy.
C.
J.
just told me.
- When? - A little while ago.
- Why are you telling me now? - I didn't wanna ruin the day for you.
- Then why are you telling me now? - I couldn't help it.
- Roll Call has it from where? - The Office of the Congressional.
Thanks.
- What are you saying that to me for? - No, I was I was saying it to them.
I was asking it.
Out of curiosity, how long did you think this was going to be covert? These are twins, Andy.
You think you're gonna go on Meet the Press and Russert won't notice you're the size of a school? Why not just come out and say: "I'm expecting twins, I couldn't be happier.
The father's my ex-husband, Toby Ziegler, to whom I'll be remarried on a date to be decided upon.
- I'm thinking Christmas.
" - I'm not marrying you again.
Then say the first part at least.
I hadn't announced it because you don't in the first 12 weeks because that's when most of the things go wrong.
These bodies of yours, I don't know how you live with them.
- They don't seem to mind.
- I like the outsides.
Hello, Andrea.
Toby.
Hi.
Honey, if you're gonna get grossed out and faint, you should sit.
- She's kidding.
- How've you been feeling? - I feel great.
Feel like you're getting enough calcium? - What does that feel like? - I don't know either.
It's just something we ask.
We don't even care about the answer.
You should draft a release.
Let that be my first act of fatherhood, drafting your release.
Go back to my roots as we all must go.
Now you're on offense, not defense.
I'm not gonna be on offense or defense.
The things we do in our lives many of them are not voluntary.
- You don't say.
I think you've performed your first act of fatherhood already.
Yes, indeed.
So let my second act be throwing you a little press conference.
Sounds fine.
I, myself, can't make it, but you have a nice time, honey.
Do I need to tell you the first rule of damage control? No, but the next time you refer to this pregnancy as damage Get the information out early, get it out yourself do it on your own terms.
- That's three rules.
Andy, look.
I'm not kidding.
You gotta - What was that? - That was - Did you hear that? - Yeah, that was Andy, you can see their heads.
My kids have heads.
My vote in Wisconsin is more valuable than your vote in the District you're getting big value.
- How do you figure? The president's gonna win the District, it's certain.
But Wisconsin's actually in play and I voted for your guy.
- How do I know that? - I've shown you the ballot, look.
- Well, that's a photocopy.
- Of course it's a photocopy.
- The real one's in Wisconsin.
- Well, how do I know that? You don't.
This is an honor thing.
It's about honor and democracy.
I'm gonna go vote now, so please stop talking to me.
Fine.
You think I'm trying to scam you? I've been here two and a half hours trying to get one vote.
You think this is how I make money? Hey, you know what? No problem shouting in public, but I think - Take off the Bartlet button? - Yeah.
Josh told me you were still here.
I was over at the place.
Thanks.
- You wanna get a muffin? - Yeah, I'll walk you.
So, what's going on? It's raining in Oregon.
Yeah.
Yeah, Josh was talking about that before.
Apparently all his other problems are solved.
If your guy's gonna win big, you don't want it to rain.
There's less motivation anyway because of the blowout and you have no idea how fast these things can become a race.
- What do you need? - A banana muffin, please.
I did something last week.
I went to see a guy named Will Bailey.
He ran Horton Wilde's campaign in Orange County and Wilde died a couple of weeks ago his widow wanted to know what Democrat would stand in for her husband, should he win.
I said - You're kidding.
- You have to understand.
This wasn't something that cost me anything.
They weren't gonna announce unless Wilde won and that was never gonna happen in Orange County.
It's like the Secretary of Agriculture saying: "Sure I'm ready to assume the presidency should the 18 who come before me die.
" - Why not? - So why not? Because it's a two-point race right now.
- This is very exciting.
- No, it's not.
The prospect of going back on my word to a recent widow.
So why go back on it? Because the alternative is taking Iose by 20 points to a Republican committee chair I hate and never be able to run for public office for real which is something I wouldn't mind doing one day.
Once 5:00 and 6:00 roll around.
That's exactly what I'm thinking.
Except? - What? - There's an El Niño thing going on in Southern California today and - No.
It's supposed to start raining in a few hours.
Okay.
- Okay, I'm gonna go back to the office.
- Okay.
- Why don't you give me the button.
- Yeah.
You're cleared.
You can come upstairs.
Thanks.
There are chairs up there that are over 200 years old.
Before you sit in one I wanna see written confirmation from the Army Corps of Engineers that it can support your girth.
You stole a goat? I'm assuming this was a mascot? Yeah, that was sweet.
I was just the legman.
Anthony's the brains.
Yeah, it had that international jewel thief feel to it.
What do you think we're doing the rest of the day? - You know, video games, hanging out.
- Really? I'm voting at 8:30, you guys will come with me, watch me vote, then go home.
Man, what good is? I mean, they're not gonna let me vote.
It's like my face is pressed up to the window.
That's right, yet somehow, I don't care.
I'm old enough to vote.
- You're 18? - I'm 19.
They came to school to sign up people.
- You're registered to vote? - I think I might be, yeah.
- Where? - He doesn't know where.
- I don't know where.
- Well, let's find out.
- Good afternoon, Mr.
President.
- Good afternoon, sir.
Hello.
Hi.
- What's going on? - Line one now is a DSS line.
It means Direct Station Select.
Pick it up, you get me.
What was wrong with the old way? - You done? - Yes, ma'am.
Thanks a lot.
- I'm sorry, sir.
- What was wrong with the old way? - Well, this is better.
- How? You don't care, sir, it just is.
I hear you've got rules for meetings.
Yes, some.
Yes, I do, sir.
You don't think that's apt to create resentment among people here before It's not like the thing wasn't working.
Whatever you assume, that wasn't a rube sitting out there.
She ran the Oval Office for two years and a State House before that.
Yes, sir.
At any rate, line one gets you me.
What if, instead of you, I want a dial tone? That's line two, but you're not gonna want one.
- Why? - I'm gonna place your outgoing calls.
- You'll place a lot of them - No, sir, I need to place them all.
I can make my own phone call - Sir.
- I can make my own phone call.
Yes, but soon you might not necessarily remember that you did.
When I call, there's a record.
That's how you'll know.
And then you won't be worried about it.
That's good.
That's a good idea.
- Is there anything else? - No.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
You and I haven't met.
In my life, I never would've thought she was a rube.
I'm sorry about that.
Debbie, I have to ask you: Are we talking about? Did you bring it up because you? - Is there something today you noticed? - No, sir.
Do you feel all right? Should I? No, please.
I was talking about something else.
Line one is you? - Yes, sir.
- Thanks.
Will, you have Sheryl Cryman that's the County Clerk's legal counsel, it's blinking.
Sheryl, it's Will Bailey, how you doing? Fine, thank you.
There are scattered power outages in the Casa Verde precinct in Santa Ana.
Streetlights are going off in the only legitimately Democratic precinct I've got.
So if I lose by 100 because people couldn't cross the street who in your office would I talk to about election tampering? Thanks a lot, Sheryl.
I appreciate it.
Pull sound trucks from Laguna Hills, not enough foot traffic.
- Put them in Anaheim.
- Will.
- When the hell's it gonna rain? - Willy.
Don't call me that.
The die's been cast, big brother, you're making everyone crazy.
There's a moment after you cast the die, before it hits the table.
Breathe wrong, you'll change the way it lands.
Can I get a new weather report? There's value here, there's value, gotta appreciate the value.
- A Ritchie vote in Wisconsin.
- Let me ask you this.
Bartlet's supposed to be smart, right? He's smart, we're dumb, he knows best.
So what does it say when his people don't know how to fill out a ballot? Maybe he's a little out of touch.
Is that what it says? Maybe even with the president's supporters accidentally voting for the wrong candidate you're still gonna get creamed, fascist! - This is an honor thing! - Excuse me.
Yes.
Hi.
- Did somebody steal your purse? - Me? No.
- Okay.
- I'm on a mission.
I said I'd be 20 minutes.
It's been six hours and it's starting to get cold.
Okay.
You were shouting at no one.
- Little guy.
Bow tie.
- Long as you're okay.
Wait.
Hang on.
Do you mind if I ask you who you're voting for? - I guess I do, yeah.
- That's fair, that's perfectly fair.
Let me ask you this instead: Are you voting for Ritchie or the president? - I'm gonna go inside now, okay? - Lieutenant, I'm not a crazy person I'm not asking you for the bomb sequence on the USS Essex.
- Be a man, tell me who you're voting for.
- Ritchie, and you demoted me a rank.
I'm so sorry.
I'm seeing your shoulders now, Lieutenant Commander.
Reese.
Reese is a nice name.
Reese what? Lieutenant Commander Reese.
Jack Reese.
Can I talk to you? You know, this is the first election I haven't had to vote by absentee ballot.
I really wanted to pull the lever.
Absentee ballot, I know how you feel.
I'm from Wisconsin.
It's my home, but here I am in Washington on Election Day.
I'm usually on a Los Angeles-class sub in the South China Sea.
Don't trump me.
It's not a battle.
We're in this together.
No, we're not.
I voted absentee in Wisconsin.
I voted for Ritchie.
I meant to vote for the president.
Now I think you should go in there and vote the other way to make it a wash.
- Yeah, okay.
- Look Really? Yeah, that sounds about right.
- I'm Donna.
- Jack.
- Commander.
- Jack's fine.
So why aren't you on a sub right now? I haven't been for a little while.
- What's your billet? - It used to be Regional Director for the office of Joint Chiefs of Southeast Asia, but I got transferred.
Nancy McNally's office.
She's the National Security Advisor.
- You're working at the White House? - Yeah.
Listen I gotta go vote, okay? - Yeah, sure.
Listen, I've got a photocopy of my absentee ballot if you wanna verify that I - No, no.
It's an honor thing, right? Yeah.
Okay.
Now there are late exits showing even with white male suburbans in New York, Chicago and Philadelphia.
There's huge labor turnout, we're only losing Florida by seven.
Seven.
Toby, I think it's gonna be bigger than we thought.
I stare at this and I stare at this and I don't know which is the boy and which is the girl.
I suppose that problem will take care of itself.
You know, if you, if you stare at them for a while well, it's pretty gross, but still - I'm concerned you've turned completely into another person - Hey.
I see one victory balloon before this thing is called and Yeah, you better run.
Nothing.
- You read the stuff? - Yeah.
- It wasn't long.
- Yeah.
I was impartial, right? I gave you the best and worst of each.
Hey, Mr.
Young I'm not being disrespectful or nothing, but I'm just trying to concentrate.
Listen, this is easy.
You can do it no problem but if you need to, you can ask for help, you're allowed.
Okay.
Hey, listen, why does a guy who's heading off to the Big Ten care about playing St.
Erasmus Academy on Saturday? You're gonna be playing Michigan and Penn State.
I don't know.
It's what I do on Saturdays.
Hey, you know what? I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the box or nothing but try rushing the quarterback, you know what I'm saying? You're not gonna get there, you're not gonna touch him.
You're up.
He's a good guy, you know.
He does his business.
He just doesn't like looking like a fool.
- How long did you hang onto the goat? - Three days.
- Three days.
- Yeah.
What'd you feed him? - Cheetos.
- Okay.
Hey.
Hey, Anthony, I voted.
All right.
- I'm going again.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Will! - Come on.
Come inside and have something to eat with us.
Come on.
- Will.
- Now! Jesus.
Wow.
What else can you do? I didn't know I could do that! - It's on.
You can see it.
- Hey.
I'm not spitting, I'm not turning around.
Union households are beating non-union.
- C.
J.
Can you pick up three? - Yeah.
This is C.
J.
Thanks.
- What was that? - You'll see in a minute.
Nine o'clock.
Good evening, Mr.
President.
I feel like I should be self-deprecating.
I mean, it's not inauguration, I can be funny, right? I don't think so.
It's the wrong note.
If I'm thanking campaign staff, maybe.
- What are you doing? - We've got some news.
What? What? You're gonna win New Hampshire.
With seventy of the precincts reporting, CBS is ready to declare Delaware with its three electoral votes for President Bartlet.
Closing an hour ago, NBC is putting Maryland in the President's column.
With 22 percent of the vote tallied in Maine Polls are closed in West Virginia The polls closing in Massachusetts and Pennsylvania Halfway around the world in Bosnia, in Chechnya, in Rwanda they dream of the promise we fulfilled today.
Of a future we choose, for ourselves, together.
Sam, what's going on? They're not calling it.
With 8 percent of the precincts reporting, remains too close to call.
My goodness, if you lived to be 100, did you think you'd ever see anything like this? - I did not.
Four years ago, we were joined by our highest ideals, by our best hopes and tonight we're joined by that same commitment.
To open new doors of opportunity and justice.
To ensure that the promise of this country is the birthright of all the people.
We've achieved so much together always believing, always knowing that America could be made new again.
And so it was, and so it will be again.
God bless you all.
God bless the United States of America.
We're gonna skip the parties for a while and head back to the office.
There are nine House races too close to call.
Tell him about California.
- In the California 47th - In the 47th You don't tell it well.
In the 47th, Horton Wilde, who's dead, is losing by 88 votes.
- It was a perfect storm.
- It was.
Low Republican turnout because the president won the Midwest.
Low supporter turnout because Webb had no opponent and the DNC gave up on it a week ago, so the RNC left town and they never saw the exits your guy, Will Bailey, was seeing.
Plus there was an actual storm.
I tell it fine.
We're gonna be up all night with these.
It's gonna be fun.
We should go.
- That was wonderful.
- That was fun.
- How are you feeling? - I feel great.
- You want a glass of water? - No, I'm fine.
You seem a little dry.
- Sure you don't want a glass of water? - Yeah.
Maybe I should get you a glass of water just in case you can hold it in your hand.
How'd you know? You were off the prompter.
Just for a minute at the end.
I couldn't see it.
It's all right.
There are gonna be more days like this.
It starts now.
It's gonna be harder this time.
Yeah, I know.
We can still have tonight, though, right? You got lots of nights.
Smart people who love you are gonna have your back.
All right.
Excuse me.
You wanna take another curtain call? Sure.
- You'll be back.
Let's go, 10 bucks.
Ten bucks for you.
It was the president's idea.
Bet us you couldn't stay quiet if he gave a bad answer.
Horton Wilde in Orange County is in the hospital.
His 4th heart attack.
Who knows when he'll resume a campaign.
- He's dead.
- President wins the debate tomorrow you marry me again.
- Will Bailey, come inside? - The campaign's embarrassing to us.
- I'm not embarrassed by it.
If you can't find a Democrat, tell Kay I'll do it.
Andy's pregnant, with twins.
Thank you.
- You're Josh Lyman, aren't you? - Yeah.
I've seen your picture a lot.
- Can I ask you something? - Sure.
Bartlet's on the ballot for the Democratic Party and for the Statehood Party.
It's okay that I voted for him in both columns, right? No, you can't vote for him in two columns.
I already did.
Your ballot's gonna be invalidated.
- What for? - You're allowed to vote once.
He's on the ballot twice.
He's on it more.
He's on it as the Liberal Party nominee - I'm saying, I'm for Statehood.
Me too, and yours is a vote we didn't get.
I'm so sorry to interrupt did you say you're supposed to vote for the president in both columns? No.
No.
You can vote for the president in whatever column you want but you can only vote once.
- He's right.
- Yes I'm Yes.
- And I'll tell you a secret for a shortcut.
If you just, say, vote for one Democrat and leave the rest of the boxes blank, then you voted for all the Democrats.
Yes.
No.
It doesn't You can't vote for a party, you have to vote for a person.
- No, I think you're wrong.
- I'm not.
I left all but one box blank.
Well, then, you voted for none but one candidate.
Nuts.
Did you vote for the president? Was the president the one? - Who remembers? - It was a minute and a half ago.
- Don't be rude.
- I'm sorry.
Thank you for voting.
- Excuse me.
- Yes, what? Yes.
Yes, hello.
- You're who I think you are, right? - I can be anybody you want.
- That's funny.
- Thank you.
I saw you getting run over by those people.
Just part of the job, ma'am.
I guess you hear some pretty silly questions.
Well, I'm just worried because they all tried to vote for Bartlet.
If this keeps up we're headed toward the biggest electoral upset in history.
Nobody's gonna figure out why.
Right.
It's the same thing with my parents.
I tell them, rank the candidates in order of preference.
Right.
No.
Mr.
Lyman, voted for your boy in all three boxes.
No, listen to me, your ballot is invalid.
So is yours.
Punch the box next to the candidate you prefer once.
Nothing else.
- I'm sorry, one more thing? - Yes? I have a message from Toby Ziegler.
- What? - I have a message from Toby Ziegler.
You know Toby? He says: "Ten dollars.
" I see.
You guys are a little troupe a little acting troupe, with a U.
- Yes, sir, we are.
- Can I give you a card? - No.
Mr.
Ziegler said you were edgy on election days so to show there are no hard feelings how about I go there and vote for the president, now.
As a matter of fact, that'd be nice.
No problem.
Do you happen to know if I need to be I don't know, pre-registered or something? Yes! The teachers have 500 red and blue "Bartlet-Hoynes" banners.
- That plus 600 from Building Trades.
- No.
- I'm sorry? - No.
- Why? - The partisanship's over.
We elected a president.
This is for everybody.
No banners tonight, American flags But use the Seal, I'll put Senate and House Leadership up there.
- No balloons, no confetti.
- Why? - It's not a party.
- It is a party.
- But we won.
We don't have to pander.
- Don't say that.
On your birthday, don't we pander? - Not as much as I'd like.
- Not kidding.
- What are you babbling about? - We haven't won.
- The speech is done.
- Two speeches.
- What's the second? - One if he wins one if he doesn't.
- You wrote a concession? Of course I wrote a concession.
You wanna tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing? - No.
- Then go outside, turn around and spit.
What's the matter with you? - It's like 25 degrees outside.
- Go.
- Hello.
- Mr.
Lyman.
I see your picture in the magazine.
Tell me, if I swallow my ballot, does it? - Election Day humor, great.
- He wrote a concession speech.
Of course he wrote it.
Why wouldn't he? What possible reason would he have for not writing a concession speech? - The wrath from high atop the thing? - He upped and said we were gonna No, go outside, turn around three times and curse.
- Spit.
- Spit and curse.
- Do everything.
Go.
- Go! - Go! - Go! These things have a half-life.
You can't - We're meeting again when? - First round of exits at 11.
Eleven o'clock unless there's a reason earlier.
- Can I have you two seconds? - Yeah.
- What do you need? - Hang on.
- There's trouble? - A little bit.
- For the president? - For you.
I know better than to stick my face in your personal life.
Except, you know, for sport.
- What happened? - Roll Call's got it from the Office of Congress's attending physician that Andy's pregnant.
When did they start doing more than flu vaccinations? They need updated records.
Roll Call doesn't need updated records, though.
They're gonna connect the dots.
It's gonna be bad for her and bad for you.
- You mean bad for us.
- I can handle the us.
- What's her plan? - I don't know.
- Toby.
- I don't know.
We haven't talked.
- She's gotta be proactive.
- Yeah.
It'd be nice if we could announce a wedding.
- I'm working on that, thanks.
- You'll talk to her? - Yeah.
- Thanks.
- Did you? - Yes, I turned, I cursed, I spat, it froze.
- You can't be too careful.
- I think you can.
Sam, you got Will Bailey calling from California.
"Won't you come home, Will Bailey? Won't you come home?" Sancho, how you doing? -I'm Sancho? - Yeah.
- Can I ask you something? - Yes, grasshopper.
- How much do you know on exit polls? - What's to know? You stand 100 yards away and say"Who'd you vote for?" You can't afford exit polls.
I've got volunteers out there.
- And? - Something weird's going on.
- What? - We're winning.
- What do you mean? - We're down one in Spyglass Hill even in Emerald Bay and up three in El Toro Station.
- Can I give you free advice? - Yeah.
It's not advice so much as I'm saying this: Democrats vote early.
Okay? And diehards vote early.
You want me to call in every couple of hours? - Every hour.
- Okay.
Bonnie Democrats vote early, right? - Yeah.
Ginger? Democrats and diehards vote early, right? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Mrs.
Bartlet, can you tell us who you voted for? - Nobody, I was just fixing my makeup.
- How are you spending the day? Filling out Chicago ballots, just pitching in.
He's gonna be flying around thanking supporters.
- Is there any suspense at all today? - Well, there are about 14 competitive Senate races, about 46 House races right here in New Hampshire there's a 600-million-dollar bond issue plus, no one's elected my husband president yet.
Mr.
President, polls show a dogfight here in New Hampshire.
How would you feel if you won the election, but lost your home state? Better than if I won my home state, but lost my home country.
But the only poll that matters closes in 17 hours.
- Did you vote for the bond issue? - Title 63, Chapter 659, Section 43 of New Hampshire Election Code says: "Electioneering is prohibited within a corridor 10 feet wide extending a distance from the entrance door as determined by the moderator where the election is being held.
" If anyone knows what that means.
Yeah, I voted for the bond issue.
It'll improve public education without a tax abatement.
- Mr.
President.
Mr.
President, do you have anything to say to Governor Ritchie today? Well, one way or another, I imagine we'll be talking tonight.
I gotta get back.
You can hockle Abbey for a while, she's taking the next plane.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
- These are for your signature.
- Yeah.
- Could you score me a couple of aspirin? - Yes, sir.
- Got a headache? - I'm fine.
- Should I ask the doctors to? - It's just a headache.
- Just me and you today, okay? I'm fine.
- Yes, sir.
- I'll sign these in the car.
- Yes, sir.
Come on.
Okay, this can wait.
Let's go.
Nothing's happening right now.
By the end of the night, Polls have been open in the East for six and a half hours.
You know how many votes have been cast? One percent.
Everybody votes after work.
Not me, I vote first thing.
The VNS exit polls are down in Michigan for a little while.
And it's raining in Oregon.
This is like the ionization blackout period.
Pumpkin Patch, anything I can do to get you to the movies for eight hours? - Senior Staff.
- Yeah.
- But can you do me a favor? - What do you need? This is a photocopy of my absentee ballot.
I was hoping the president could sign it and I'd have it framed.
- Yeah.
You know the president's the first winner I voted for? - Is this a joke? - It's not hard to believe - No, I mean this.
- What are you talking about? Toby already did the thing this morning with the invalid ballots.
- My ballot's invalid? - This isn't a joke? - It's invalid? - You voted for Ritchie.
- Where? - Here.
Oh, my God.
Your picking-the-winner streak is probably over.
No, no, no.
It's an optical scan ballot.
I drew a line through the Democratic ticket.
Almost.
You drew a line through the Republican ticket.
You didn't ticket-split.
You voted for every Republican in Wisconsin.
Check.
You may have voted for McCarthy.
- I'm gonna rectify this.
- How? I don't know, but it'll be counted.
- It will.
- I don't want it counted.
- I'm going, you still want? - Give me that.
Hey, I'm going in, okay? - Hey, Josh.
No.
- I'm sorry? - It's the Senior Staff meeting.
- I'm Senior Staff.
- You don't have your briefing memo.
- How do you know? I'm sorry.
Do you have it? No.
- I memorized it.
- Did you get my e-mail on the three new rules for the week? - I got it.
I read it.
It was good stuff.
It's possible the salient details escape me.
Rule number two: You don't attend Daily Senior Staff without the briefing memo.
The agenda's outlined and there are up-to-the-minute details on priority items, and still half the meeting is spent regurgitating the memo for members who have difficulty holding onto salient details.
That's fair, and next time I'm gonna remember the memo.
I'm confident you will because you're gonna remember it this time too.
- You want me to go back and get it? - I do.
Okay.
All right.
- I'm gonna humor the new girl.
- Appreciate it.
- Going to get your briefing memo? - Yes.
Charlie, Security called for you.
They'd like to see you out front.
- Security? - Yeah.
What the hell? Anthony.
Michelle, he's with me.
- Which one? - The regular-sized one.
Who are you? - Orlando Kettles, boss, how you doing? - Fine, thanks.
- Anthony.
- Yeah, you know, I brought him today.
First of all, they're a little prickly about security here.
You're not down as"Anthony plus one.
" You see the guns standing around now? Boy's going to Columbus, starting right tackle for the Buckeyes.
True freshman.
I hand you the ball, run behind him, have coffee.
He's gonna play on Sundays.
- You his agent? - Don't have nothing in writing.
- What's he doing here, Anthony? - He got pulled over with an open can of Pabst.
- He was You were driving drunk? No way, boss.
He passed the Breathalyzer.
It was the open can of Pabst.
But Saturday's St.
Erasmus Academy, that's a big game for a senior.
- Wanna put a hurt on some blue blazers? - Anthony.
Coach is gonna sit him down because of the Pabst, unless - Unless what? - You know, you do your thing.
- My thing? - Write him a note.
- Saying what? - He's a good guy, Charlie.
- He does his business.
- I'm not Officer Krupke.
I have a job.
Try to think back to the days before you were secretary of state.
There are good guys and bad guys.
When good guys stop letting you play with them, bad guys have a recruiting field day.
When did you start talking like Mickey Spillane? - I don't know.
Who's Officer Cupcake? - Okay, you're seeing a musical.
Man, look at the size of him, Charlie.
He's not done growing either.
Who do you want him playing for? What else has he got? - What else? - Priors.
Nothing, man.
I swear.
He stole a goat.
- A goat? - Yeah.
Why did he? No.
I don't care.
- You got his Social Security number? - Yeah.
- Orlando, got practice this afternoon? - Oh, yeah.
You're not going.
It's Election Day.
You're gonna spend it with me.
Yo, man, I've done wind sprints, I'll take the swap.
Follow me.
This is the White House.
Frederick Douglass came here.
Mondays through Fridays we wear coats and ties.
You too, Mugsy.
Hey, Charlie, not for nothing, but so you know some higher-end places provide a jacket for you.
Right.
You're confusing the White House with the Friars Club.
The people I work with are serious, so don't embarrass me.
- You got it, boss.
- We're gonna have to wait till the Secret Service Sorry, man, that wasn't cool.
- How you doing? - You all right? He should You should play football.
Hey, man, I'm trying, you know, but I had an open Pabst and that's the way that goes.
- Yeah.
Let's go.
Rule number two: Daily Senior Staff will something the briefing memo.
I have the memo, I'm going.
- Yeah.
No.
- No? No, have you read rule number one? The salient details The meeting starts on time.
If you're not there, you don't go in.
- That's insanity.
- Well, I'm quite mad.
There has to be a natural fluidity to these things.
It's how we work best.
You can't say that every meeting has to I didn't.
The e-mail, which is exactly this long, in case as a boy you had a frightening experience with Balzac, and that's why you didn't read it says,"This applies only to the Daily Senior Staff meeting.
" One meeting it's gonna be important to be on time.
Well, I think that's a random cracking of the whip.
According to the last the president is typically 70 to 90 minutes over-scheduled by the end of the day.
The median time a day ends the over-under is 10:20 p.
m.
As many days have ended after that time as have ended before it.
The result being, the Commander in Chief of the U.
S.
Armed Forces hasn't had a night's sleep in four years.
That's both bad and easy to fix.
Okay.
Well, yes, that's hard to argue against.
I'll remember this talk next time.
I have confidence that you will.
Okay.
Well, I'm going in now, all right? Sweet of you to tell me a joke, Josh.
You're the funny one, I can tell.
All right.
This is your little part of the store and I respect that.
See what I did there? Respect.
No one's bigger than the game.
- You're an example for the kids.
- Yeah.
- I'm going out for about 20 minutes.
- Where? There's a polling place nearby, I'm gonna find someone to swap votes.
A Ritchie supporter to vote for the president to offset my absentee ballot.
- Really.
- It's Election Day, I'm doing this.
- It's gonna take 20 minutes? - Yeah, I'll be right back.
You bet.
Toby.
- He can't talk.
- Okay.
We're late for the first sonogram.
Big needle, 18 inches, right in the stomach, Toby, don't look at it.
- Yeah, that's amniocentesis.
- Hurts like heartbreak.
- You've had the procedure? - Not me personally.
Toby, it's a good idea to slip the nurse something.
Tell her you're hoping for a smooth second trimester.
- You grease the nurse? - He's kidding.
Give me one second, would you? I'll catch up.
- Sports fans, this is getting exciting.
- Yes.
So, what do you think, like, 50 bucks? I don't know, it's your first, it's twins.
I don't know, I think I'd give her 100.
Yeah, okay.
In your life you have never been on time to this meeting.
I wasn't actually.
I was just incredibly late to the meeting right before it.
- Well, that's the trick then.
- Yeah.
Sam, Will Bailey's on the phone if you want him.
That name sounds familiar.
He's a guy in California.
He's on the phone and I'm gonna talk to him now.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Everything all right? - Yeah.
California 47th.
He was the guy running Horton Wilde? - Yeah.
- They're gonna lose by 20 points.
Really? You're getting that from the exits? - Yeah.
- Great.
- Great? - No.
I mean, it's a tough beat what with dying and all.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna talk to him now, okay? - Okay.
- Hey.
- I think we're still up.
Josh says the exits have you down 20.
He means the tracking.
The last one was a week ago, then the DNC left town.
- He said the exits.
- Hey, when I said"exits" before I meant tracking.
They did the last one a week ago, then left town.
Yeah, they may have called that putt a little early.
Sam, it'd help if we could get added to the president's afternoon satellite.
- We could use some radio at drive time.
- Yeah.
Will, no kidding drive time's also when the plants get out and the real Orange County votes that's when you turn into a pumpkin.
Don't get your hopes up.
No, just a good showing.
Cover the spread.
All right.
- What'd he say? - Don't get hopes up.
- Are they? - No.
Everybody on the street.
But we're gonna make history.
Roll Call has the pregnancy.
What? Roll Call has the pregnancy.
C.
J.
just told me.
- When? - A little while ago.
- Why are you telling me now? - I didn't wanna ruin the day for you.
- Then why are you telling me now? - I couldn't help it.
- Roll Call has it from where? - The Office of the Congressional.
Thanks.
- What are you saying that to me for? - No, I was I was saying it to them.
I was asking it.
Out of curiosity, how long did you think this was going to be covert? These are twins, Andy.
You think you're gonna go on Meet the Press and Russert won't notice you're the size of a school? Why not just come out and say: "I'm expecting twins, I couldn't be happier.
The father's my ex-husband, Toby Ziegler, to whom I'll be remarried on a date to be decided upon.
- I'm thinking Christmas.
" - I'm not marrying you again.
Then say the first part at least.
I hadn't announced it because you don't in the first 12 weeks because that's when most of the things go wrong.
These bodies of yours, I don't know how you live with them.
- They don't seem to mind.
- I like the outsides.
Hello, Andrea.
Toby.
Hi.
Honey, if you're gonna get grossed out and faint, you should sit.
- She's kidding.
- How've you been feeling? - I feel great.
Feel like you're getting enough calcium? - What does that feel like? - I don't know either.
It's just something we ask.
We don't even care about the answer.
You should draft a release.
Let that be my first act of fatherhood, drafting your release.
Go back to my roots as we all must go.
Now you're on offense, not defense.
I'm not gonna be on offense or defense.
The things we do in our lives many of them are not voluntary.
- You don't say.
I think you've performed your first act of fatherhood already.
Yes, indeed.
So let my second act be throwing you a little press conference.
Sounds fine.
I, myself, can't make it, but you have a nice time, honey.
Do I need to tell you the first rule of damage control? No, but the next time you refer to this pregnancy as damage Get the information out early, get it out yourself do it on your own terms.
- That's three rules.
Andy, look.
I'm not kidding.
You gotta - What was that? - That was - Did you hear that? - Yeah, that was Andy, you can see their heads.
My kids have heads.
My vote in Wisconsin is more valuable than your vote in the District you're getting big value.
- How do you figure? The president's gonna win the District, it's certain.
But Wisconsin's actually in play and I voted for your guy.
- How do I know that? - I've shown you the ballot, look.
- Well, that's a photocopy.
- Of course it's a photocopy.
- The real one's in Wisconsin.
- Well, how do I know that? You don't.
This is an honor thing.
It's about honor and democracy.
I'm gonna go vote now, so please stop talking to me.
Fine.
You think I'm trying to scam you? I've been here two and a half hours trying to get one vote.
You think this is how I make money? Hey, you know what? No problem shouting in public, but I think - Take off the Bartlet button? - Yeah.
Josh told me you were still here.
I was over at the place.
Thanks.
- You wanna get a muffin? - Yeah, I'll walk you.
So, what's going on? It's raining in Oregon.
Yeah.
Yeah, Josh was talking about that before.
Apparently all his other problems are solved.
If your guy's gonna win big, you don't want it to rain.
There's less motivation anyway because of the blowout and you have no idea how fast these things can become a race.
- What do you need? - A banana muffin, please.
I did something last week.
I went to see a guy named Will Bailey.
He ran Horton Wilde's campaign in Orange County and Wilde died a couple of weeks ago his widow wanted to know what Democrat would stand in for her husband, should he win.
I said - You're kidding.
- You have to understand.
This wasn't something that cost me anything.
They weren't gonna announce unless Wilde won and that was never gonna happen in Orange County.
It's like the Secretary of Agriculture saying: "Sure I'm ready to assume the presidency should the 18 who come before me die.
" - Why not? - So why not? Because it's a two-point race right now.
- This is very exciting.
- No, it's not.
The prospect of going back on my word to a recent widow.
So why go back on it? Because the alternative is taking Iose by 20 points to a Republican committee chair I hate and never be able to run for public office for real which is something I wouldn't mind doing one day.
Once 5:00 and 6:00 roll around.
That's exactly what I'm thinking.
Except? - What? - There's an El Niño thing going on in Southern California today and - No.
It's supposed to start raining in a few hours.
Okay.
- Okay, I'm gonna go back to the office.
- Okay.
- Why don't you give me the button.
- Yeah.
You're cleared.
You can come upstairs.
Thanks.
There are chairs up there that are over 200 years old.
Before you sit in one I wanna see written confirmation from the Army Corps of Engineers that it can support your girth.
You stole a goat? I'm assuming this was a mascot? Yeah, that was sweet.
I was just the legman.
Anthony's the brains.
Yeah, it had that international jewel thief feel to it.
What do you think we're doing the rest of the day? - You know, video games, hanging out.
- Really? I'm voting at 8:30, you guys will come with me, watch me vote, then go home.
Man, what good is? I mean, they're not gonna let me vote.
It's like my face is pressed up to the window.
That's right, yet somehow, I don't care.
I'm old enough to vote.
- You're 18? - I'm 19.
They came to school to sign up people.
- You're registered to vote? - I think I might be, yeah.
- Where? - He doesn't know where.
- I don't know where.
- Well, let's find out.
- Good afternoon, Mr.
President.
- Good afternoon, sir.
Hello.
Hi.
- What's going on? - Line one now is a DSS line.
It means Direct Station Select.
Pick it up, you get me.
What was wrong with the old way? - You done? - Yes, ma'am.
Thanks a lot.
- I'm sorry, sir.
- What was wrong with the old way? - Well, this is better.
- How? You don't care, sir, it just is.
I hear you've got rules for meetings.
Yes, some.
Yes, I do, sir.
You don't think that's apt to create resentment among people here before It's not like the thing wasn't working.
Whatever you assume, that wasn't a rube sitting out there.
She ran the Oval Office for two years and a State House before that.
Yes, sir.
At any rate, line one gets you me.
What if, instead of you, I want a dial tone? That's line two, but you're not gonna want one.
- Why? - I'm gonna place your outgoing calls.
- You'll place a lot of them - No, sir, I need to place them all.
I can make my own phone call - Sir.
- I can make my own phone call.
Yes, but soon you might not necessarily remember that you did.
When I call, there's a record.
That's how you'll know.
And then you won't be worried about it.
That's good.
That's a good idea.
- Is there anything else? - No.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
You and I haven't met.
In my life, I never would've thought she was a rube.
I'm sorry about that.
Debbie, I have to ask you: Are we talking about? Did you bring it up because you? - Is there something today you noticed? - No, sir.
Do you feel all right? Should I? No, please.
I was talking about something else.
Line one is you? - Yes, sir.
- Thanks.
Will, you have Sheryl Cryman that's the County Clerk's legal counsel, it's blinking.
Sheryl, it's Will Bailey, how you doing? Fine, thank you.
There are scattered power outages in the Casa Verde precinct in Santa Ana.
Streetlights are going off in the only legitimately Democratic precinct I've got.
So if I lose by 100 because people couldn't cross the street who in your office would I talk to about election tampering? Thanks a lot, Sheryl.
I appreciate it.
Pull sound trucks from Laguna Hills, not enough foot traffic.
- Put them in Anaheim.
- Will.
- When the hell's it gonna rain? - Willy.
Don't call me that.
The die's been cast, big brother, you're making everyone crazy.
There's a moment after you cast the die, before it hits the table.
Breathe wrong, you'll change the way it lands.
Can I get a new weather report? There's value here, there's value, gotta appreciate the value.
- A Ritchie vote in Wisconsin.
- Let me ask you this.
Bartlet's supposed to be smart, right? He's smart, we're dumb, he knows best.
So what does it say when his people don't know how to fill out a ballot? Maybe he's a little out of touch.
Is that what it says? Maybe even with the president's supporters accidentally voting for the wrong candidate you're still gonna get creamed, fascist! - This is an honor thing! - Excuse me.
Yes.
Hi.
- Did somebody steal your purse? - Me? No.
- Okay.
- I'm on a mission.
I said I'd be 20 minutes.
It's been six hours and it's starting to get cold.
Okay.
You were shouting at no one.
- Little guy.
Bow tie.
- Long as you're okay.
Wait.
Hang on.
Do you mind if I ask you who you're voting for? - I guess I do, yeah.
- That's fair, that's perfectly fair.
Let me ask you this instead: Are you voting for Ritchie or the president? - I'm gonna go inside now, okay? - Lieutenant, I'm not a crazy person I'm not asking you for the bomb sequence on the USS Essex.
- Be a man, tell me who you're voting for.
- Ritchie, and you demoted me a rank.
I'm so sorry.
I'm seeing your shoulders now, Lieutenant Commander.
Reese.
Reese is a nice name.
Reese what? Lieutenant Commander Reese.
Jack Reese.
Can I talk to you? You know, this is the first election I haven't had to vote by absentee ballot.
I really wanted to pull the lever.
Absentee ballot, I know how you feel.
I'm from Wisconsin.
It's my home, but here I am in Washington on Election Day.
I'm usually on a Los Angeles-class sub in the South China Sea.
Don't trump me.
It's not a battle.
We're in this together.
No, we're not.
I voted absentee in Wisconsin.
I voted for Ritchie.
I meant to vote for the president.
Now I think you should go in there and vote the other way to make it a wash.
- Yeah, okay.
- Look Really? Yeah, that sounds about right.
- I'm Donna.
- Jack.
- Commander.
- Jack's fine.
So why aren't you on a sub right now? I haven't been for a little while.
- What's your billet? - It used to be Regional Director for the office of Joint Chiefs of Southeast Asia, but I got transferred.
Nancy McNally's office.
She's the National Security Advisor.
- You're working at the White House? - Yeah.
Listen I gotta go vote, okay? - Yeah, sure.
Listen, I've got a photocopy of my absentee ballot if you wanna verify that I - No, no.
It's an honor thing, right? Yeah.
Okay.
Now there are late exits showing even with white male suburbans in New York, Chicago and Philadelphia.
There's huge labor turnout, we're only losing Florida by seven.
Seven.
Toby, I think it's gonna be bigger than we thought.
I stare at this and I stare at this and I don't know which is the boy and which is the girl.
I suppose that problem will take care of itself.
You know, if you, if you stare at them for a while well, it's pretty gross, but still - I'm concerned you've turned completely into another person - Hey.
I see one victory balloon before this thing is called and Yeah, you better run.
Nothing.
- You read the stuff? - Yeah.
- It wasn't long.
- Yeah.
I was impartial, right? I gave you the best and worst of each.
Hey, Mr.
Young I'm not being disrespectful or nothing, but I'm just trying to concentrate.
Listen, this is easy.
You can do it no problem but if you need to, you can ask for help, you're allowed.
Okay.
Hey, listen, why does a guy who's heading off to the Big Ten care about playing St.
Erasmus Academy on Saturday? You're gonna be playing Michigan and Penn State.
I don't know.
It's what I do on Saturdays.
Hey, you know what? I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the box or nothing but try rushing the quarterback, you know what I'm saying? You're not gonna get there, you're not gonna touch him.
You're up.
He's a good guy, you know.
He does his business.
He just doesn't like looking like a fool.
- How long did you hang onto the goat? - Three days.
- Three days.
- Yeah.
What'd you feed him? - Cheetos.
- Okay.
Hey.
Hey, Anthony, I voted.
All right.
- I'm going again.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Will! - Come on.
Come inside and have something to eat with us.
Come on.
- Will.
- Now! Jesus.
Wow.
What else can you do? I didn't know I could do that! - It's on.
You can see it.
- Hey.
I'm not spitting, I'm not turning around.
Union households are beating non-union.
- C.
J.
Can you pick up three? - Yeah.
This is C.
J.
Thanks.
- What was that? - You'll see in a minute.
Nine o'clock.
Good evening, Mr.
President.
I feel like I should be self-deprecating.
I mean, it's not inauguration, I can be funny, right? I don't think so.
It's the wrong note.
If I'm thanking campaign staff, maybe.
- What are you doing? - We've got some news.
What? What? You're gonna win New Hampshire.
With seventy of the precincts reporting, CBS is ready to declare Delaware with its three electoral votes for President Bartlet.
Closing an hour ago, NBC is putting Maryland in the President's column.
With 22 percent of the vote tallied in Maine Polls are closed in West Virginia The polls closing in Massachusetts and Pennsylvania Halfway around the world in Bosnia, in Chechnya, in Rwanda they dream of the promise we fulfilled today.
Of a future we choose, for ourselves, together.
Sam, what's going on? They're not calling it.
With 8 percent of the precincts reporting, remains too close to call.
My goodness, if you lived to be 100, did you think you'd ever see anything like this? - I did not.
Four years ago, we were joined by our highest ideals, by our best hopes and tonight we're joined by that same commitment.
To open new doors of opportunity and justice.
To ensure that the promise of this country is the birthright of all the people.
We've achieved so much together always believing, always knowing that America could be made new again.
And so it was, and so it will be again.
God bless you all.
God bless the United States of America.
We're gonna skip the parties for a while and head back to the office.
There are nine House races too close to call.
Tell him about California.
- In the California 47th - In the 47th You don't tell it well.
In the 47th, Horton Wilde, who's dead, is losing by 88 votes.
- It was a perfect storm.
- It was.
Low Republican turnout because the president won the Midwest.
Low supporter turnout because Webb had no opponent and the DNC gave up on it a week ago, so the RNC left town and they never saw the exits your guy, Will Bailey, was seeing.
Plus there was an actual storm.
I tell it fine.
We're gonna be up all night with these.
It's gonna be fun.
We should go.
- That was wonderful.
- That was fun.
- How are you feeling? - I feel great.
- You want a glass of water? - No, I'm fine.
You seem a little dry.
- Sure you don't want a glass of water? - Yeah.
Maybe I should get you a glass of water just in case you can hold it in your hand.
How'd you know? You were off the prompter.
Just for a minute at the end.
I couldn't see it.
It's all right.
There are gonna be more days like this.
It starts now.
It's gonna be harder this time.
Yeah, I know.
We can still have tonight, though, right? You got lots of nights.
Smart people who love you are gonna have your back.
All right.
Excuse me.
You wanna take another curtain call? Sure.