Underbelly s04e07 Episode Script
Tripe and Brains
ARMFIELD: I can see you're a good girl from a good home.
Shall I telephone your parents to tell them you're alright? It's none of your business.
Bruce Higgs is me name.
I'll work for nothing.
Then you're a fool.
Or the smartest man in town, to know the value of learning from the smartest woman in town.
Well, I'm no lady.
And I'm old enough to be your mother.
I don't care.
You're the prettiest thing I've seen in a long time.
Only want good lookers working for you now, eh? Yeah.
I'm sick of your ugly mug.
I wanna be recognised for what I am.
I recognise you, sweetheart.
I'd recognise that arse of yours Hey, what the hell is this? Shit! Whatever it is you're looking for, there's nothing here.
You're under arrest for keeping a house frequented by thieves.
What? TILLY: Kate's in jail.
JIM: They reckon she'll get a year.
You know what this means, boys.
This town is ours.
(THEME MUSIC) SONG: # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there.
# (TILLY SINGS ALONG TO RECORD) # God save our gracious King # Long live our noble King # God # On your feet, girls.
On your feet! # God save # (GIRLS SING TENTATIVELY) # the King # God save us.
No disrespect.
Customers.
Be upstanding, gents.
Bet their old fellas are already standing to attention.
All together now! # Ba da da da ALL: # Send him victorious # Happy and glorious # Long to reign o # NARRATOR: The King's birthday holiday.
The ageing monarch was in his decline.
but for Queen Tilly.
everything was coming up roses.
Or so she thought.
# the King! # Alright, gents, we've got some lovely girls for you today.
And what better way to celebrate Georgie Porgie's birthday? Where's the new girl? She went upstairs.
Jim wanted to show her something.
Oh.
Half a mo.
('GOD SAVE THE KING' PLAYS) (BREATHES RAGGEDLY) Hey, darl.
Jeez, you're home early.
Get off him, you slut! Come here! (SQUEALS) I'll fucking kill you! JIM: Get out! I'll kill you! Get off him! (SCREAMS) Get off me! Let me go! Get off me! (SQUEALS) JIM: Arggh! Oh! (PANTS) Fucking come here! As for Queen Kate.
she was screwed in a whole other way.
(TRUCK ENGINE IDLES) (WOMAN SHOUTS, BELL RINGS) Sentenced to four months jail for keeping a house frequented by thieves.
Kate Leigh had been a guest of His Majesty once before.
And being a fast learner.
she wasn't keen on repeating the experience.
Bend over.
You're mine, filthy whore.
Oh! (GASPS) Ooh.
Crikey, that's a bit rude.
Just fart at her.
Next! Hello, Smithy.
Long time no see.
Well, if it isn't little Katie Leigh.
(SILENT-MOVIE-STYLE PIANO MUSIC) Oh, don't get your hopes up, Smithy.
This time things are gonna be a little different.
Oh, are they? (CAR DOOR CLOSES) (KNOCK AT DOOR) WALLY: Evening, Smithy.
Money or the blade? Your choice.
(WOMAN YELLS INDISTINCTLY) (BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYS) (MAN YODELS TUNEFULLY ON RECORD) Kate knew Tilly Devine would make a move on her empire.
It was just a matter of how and when.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) Whoopsy-daisy.
If you think for one fucking moment you're getting into this bed Jeez, you're beautiful.
Piss off.
I said I was sorry.
And I said PISS OFF! Brought you a box of chockies.
With my money.
With my winnings.
That you won with my money.
I know something you don't know.
I doubt that.
Met a bloke at the races, owns her building.
Whose building? Kate Leigh's saloon building.
Reckons the old bat's more trouble than she's worth.
So what? Says he and his associates might be interested in selling it.
You magnificent bugger.
KATE: You took your time.
WALLY: I came as soon as you called.
What's up? With me in here, that Pommy slut's bound to have a go.
Don't worry about it.
It's all under control.
I reckon she'll try to take our Katie.
They touch one of our girls, we slice two of theirs.
Understood? That's why I'm taking on some more muscle.
Good.
(SNIFFS) Yeah, good.
No half-measures, Wal.
No holding back.
I need you to be me out there, alright? Not as pretty, but I'll do my best.
You need anything else? Yeah.
More of this.
Tobacco? Filthy rubbish is worth more than gold in here.
Righto.
And, er keep a tight leash on Eileen, would you? That girl was born with a bullseye on her forehead.
Yeah.
What do you mean I'm coming with you? This is my place.
It's too dangerous.
Come on.
Well, who's gonna look after it? Anyone but you, Eileen.
Bugger you, Wally.
Get your stuff.
(CLAMOURING OUTSIDE) (GLASS SMASHES, MEN SHOUT) Come on.
No wonder my place is dead.
They're all here.
Yeah.
Wonder why.
Grab an apron and give Bruce a hand.
You're not me mum.
Do you want another one? Just make yourself useful.
I got business to take care of.
(CHUCKLES) (BRITISH ACCENT) May I have one of those? Hate to see a pretty girl drinking alone.
(MAN SINGS) # Ain't she sweet? # See her walking down the street # And now I ask you very confidentially # Ain't she sweet # Cheers.
# Ain't she nice? # Look her over once or twice # Shall we dance? # Now, I ask you very confidentially # Ain't she nice? # Just cast an eye # In her direction # Oh, me, oh, my # Ain't that perfection? # Ain't she sweet? # Don't you think she's kind of neat? # Now, I ask you very confidentially # Ain't she sweet? # Now, I ask you very confidentially # Ain't she sweet? # (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) (PEOPLE CHAT AND WHOOP) Shove off.
# just to see his girlfriend's smile # Push it over before she blows it # Putting on the style # Putting on the agony Putting on the style # That's what all the young folks # Taking this place away from here would be like ripping her heart out with me bare hands.
This should be interesting.
Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here? Champagne, garcon! Make mine a beer.
You've come to the wrong place if you're looking for trouble, Tilly.
That's Miss Devine to you, shit-head.
I am asking you to leave.
You and whose army, Tomlinson? Bloke at the door said there was a floor show.
These must be the comedians.
Funny as Stiffy and Mo.
Stiffy.
(LAUGHS) From what I hear, you're Stiffy.
Now, I ordered a drink! Five bob.
That's highway robbery.
Take it or leave it.
Pay him.
Pay him.
One drink.
(CHUCKLES) (LAUGHS) What's a nice kid like you doing working for that old sack of shit, eh? You want a proper job, come see me.
You know, furs and rings don't make you a lady.
You're still just a common slut.
GREG: Our turf.
Come on, Jim.
Wouldn't drink this bitch's grog anyway - got horse piss in it! (SHOUTS) It's a well-known fact - got fucking horse piss in it! (LAUGHS) Bitch owes me five bob! Tilly knew Kate was expecting her to attack her cocaine sellers and for devious reasons of her own.
she was happy to oblige.
Work for Tilly Devine, girls, or I'll send you to the freak show.
You're the freak, Frank.
Give him like he was gonna give us, Wal! Cut his ears off, Wal! (WHISTLE BLOWS) Run! Police! (PANTS) It's five bob.
(LAUGHS) I bet you Tilly won't forget it either.
No chance.
They say she still has the first penny she ever earnt.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) She does have some lovely stuff, though.
Mmm.
Did you see that sparkler on her finger? Which one? Diamonds.
What I wouldn't give for a ring like that.
I'll get you one.
(GIGGLES) I will.
I promise.
Doesn't hurt to dream.
(SIGHS) Yeah, so I was thinking maybe we should give the Tradesman's Arms a go tomorrow.
It's payday on the wharves.
The public bar? I'll make it sweet with the publican.
That's Black Aggie's patch.
She's up Palmer Street most days.
The place is going begging now.
(MAN WOLF-WHISTLES) (MEN CHUCKLE) Oh, you like what you see, boys? Not too shabby, mate.
Two quid and she's yours.
Oh.
Alright.
(CHUCKLES) (HORSES WHINNY) All the girls have got muscle with them.
The cops are everywhere too.
We keep this up, we're only asking for trouble.
Not scared of a bit of trouble, are you, Frankie? I ain't afraid of anything.
Good man.
Then keep up the good work.
But I don't get you.
It's an old trick, Frank - make 'em look at your right hand while you pick their pocket with your left.
(DOOR OPENS) Mrs Windsor, I assume.
FRANK GREEN: You presumed wrong, cobber.
Mr Madsen.
Off you go, Frank.
Off you go.
I thought it best to be discreet.
I understand, Mrs Devine.
Mum's the word.
I've got some very good news for you.
Oh, do tell.
That property you're interested in (COINS CLINK) might just be available.
So me hubby wasn't full of shit, then.
Wonderful.
Your instructions are to proceed, then? Oh, yes.
Full steam ahead, Mr Madsen.
I want this so bad I can taste it.
And, of course, we will make it worth your while.
Excellent.
But not a word to anyone, alright? Round here the fleas have ears.
(LAUGHS) So takings are down? Times are tough.
Yeah, tough times the punters need a drink more than ever.
That's no excuse.
(SIGHS) What about the other? The snow's still moving.
I put word out it's business as usual for the merchandise.
Hey, Wal - what the pluck? (BOTH LAUGH RAUCOUSLY) You can't just sit on your arse, Wal.
I know that.
I'm not.
Yeah, you gotta make your own opportunities.
You have any trouble? WALLY: Nothing we couldn't handle.
(THUMPING AND GRUNTING) (SCOFFS) I knew she'd try it on.
Don't leave your guard down for a second.
We won't.
Cops have increased their patrols as well.
Oh.
Might be a godsend.
Remind me to send a Chrissie card to Bill Mackay.
Eileen been behaving herself? Yeah.
WALLY: The door stays open when he's here! Yeah.
No problems on that front.
Well, you tell her it wouldn't kill her to visit her mother sometimes.
Righto.
Yeah, Wal, the next time bring Bruce with you.
Mmm? There's a love.
Oh, Bruce is pretty busy, Katie.
He's hardly got time to scratch himself.
I'm not asking you.
I'm telling you.
Mmm? Bring Bruce with you.
(SNIFFS) Are you gonna share that? (SNIFFS, SIGHS) All gone.
Selfish bitch.
Where's Till? Oh, she's at the pub.
Did you have a win? I'm grinning, aren't I? How's about a snifter to celebrate? On the tick.
Thanks, darling.
Whack that in the meat safe, love - some lovely tripe and brains.
(MOCKING) Mmm.
What's wrong with you? We're not supposed to look at you sideways.
What? Well, Tilly said she'll poke our eyes out.
Very literal is our Peg.
I'll go find the missus down the pub.
(SNIFFS, SIGHS) Well, I might try my luck down the pub too.
It's as dead as a doornail in here.
We need your husband's signature on these documents.
Surely your solicitor would've My solicitor explained.
Doesn't mean I have to like it.
(DOOR OPENS) Oh, as luck would have it.
Mr Windsor.
Sydney Madsen.
Mr Madsen's our real estate man.
We need you to sign some of these Yeah, I'm not doing anything until I quench my thirst.
Maybe you could come down a few bob.
They're stupid and they stink.
I'm not dropping my price.
Think I might even put it up.
This is my patch! You're welcome to it.
Try that again, sweetheart, and I'll cut your tits off.
Let it go.
Love? Mate, six bob, she will suck you dry.
Two quid, you can do whatever you want to her.
GUIDO: What's going on? That was my father.
What?! He's my father.
Eleanor! Please, love.
Come home.
Your mum is sick with worry.
Leave me alone.
Eleanor.
I'm not her anymore.
I'm not the person you're looking for.
I'm sorry.
I thought seeing you might (SOMBRE MUSIC) Come home.
Come home.
Come home.
Please, love.
How was I to know? I'm going back to work.
So, two bob for a blowie, or three guineas and I'll go all the way.
What do you reckon? Go ahead.
If you want a dose of the clap.
I thought I told you to get out of here.
I'm younger, prettier, and the best damn whore this town's ever seen.
You uppity little bitch.
I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
Go ahead and try.
Nell.
Nell.
You can stay out of this.
You've done enough already.
No fighting in the bar, girls! You got a problem, take it outside! How about it, Aggie? Out back.
Winner takes all.
You're on.
There's a fight, guys! There's a fight! Come on! Two sheilas! Two sheilas! AGGIE: You rotten cow! Go on home to your mummy and daddy.
There's no place for you here! OK, let's make this a real show, right? (MEN CHEER) If that's the way you wanna play it.
Yarggh! Two bob on Nell! Yarggh! Arggh! Come on, you fuckin' slut! Oh, yeah! Come on! (WOMEN GRUNT AND SCREAM, MEN CHEER) ARMFIELD: Stop this! You're not animals.
Not yet! ARMFIELD: Stop it! Give her the claws! (WAILS) Stop it.
Just We got a winner.
We got a winner! We got a winner! We'll get you to a doctor.
She's coming with me.
She's coming with me! (AGGIE WHIMPERS) (AGGIE SOBS) (SNIFFS) You know what they call these? The 10 Commandments.
"Thou shalt not fight" She started it.
"Thou shalt not diddle thou employer.
" I was gonna give you your share of every penny.
(SCOFFS) Darling, do I look like I came down in the last shower? (SIGHS) Now, this is gonna hurt.
J-Jesus Christ! (SIGHS AND GASPS) (WHIMPERS) (CRIES) Looks like you'll be taking a little holiday.
What does that mean? Oh, no johnny's gonna want a girl with scabby titties, is he? There's no work for you here, my girl, not until them puppies get better.
And let's hope they do get better or you'll be looking for gainful employment at Sargents Pies.
Don't.
Penny for them.
Do you mind? (CLEARS THROAT) Name's Greg.
I know who you are.
So what were you thinking? If you must know, I was thinking about ways of killing Nellie Cameron.
Do you want to shoot her for me? (LAUGHS) Well I I saw the stoush.
Yeah, I know.
(CLEARS THROAT) You work for Kate Leigh, don't you? She looking for any more girls? Er, she doesn't run prossies.
I know that.
I was thinking about starting a new career.
Oh, must've had a bad oyster.
Star light, star bright.
First star I see tonight.
Wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight.
I give you my wish.
Yeah, well If wishes were horses Then beggars would ride.
(CHUCKLES) You've been here all evening? Yeah.
Has Jim been, er What, Tilly? behaving himself? Yeah.
I cooked him some dinner.
I was a cook in the army.
Oh, I never knew that.
I fricasseed his brains.
Before or after he pickled them? (CHUCKLES) He's a man with a big appetite.
That he is.
And who can blame him when there's so much temptation around? 'Night.
Nighty-night, Tilly.
(MELLOW JAZZ MUSIC) (SINGS) # There must be something we can talk about # And maybe there's something here that we can do # No matter what your friends say Don't go too far # Remember there's just one thing (VOICE ECHOES) # Whenever you come this way # You know I wouldn't get you down # I just like talking to you # (SINGING FADES) (SINGING FADES BACK UP) # we can get together # We can get together # You know I wouldn't get you down # I just like talking to you # Maybe we can get together # We can get together # Maybe some time # Where've you been? You know where I've been.
I had some papers to go over with Mr Madsen.
Oh, you took long enough.
Well, you could've come too instead of boozing on at Mack's.
(SOFTLY) I'm doing this for us, you know.
(HARDER) I'm gonna grind that manky cow into the dust.
You want a cuddle? (SNORES SOFTLY) (TRAIN CHUGS IN DISTANCE) (SIGHS) (TRAIN CHUGS NEARBY) Do you believe in love at first sight? Of course I do.
You do? I'm a romantic.
It happens to me all the time.
I mean true love.
So do I.
The love poets write about.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
The love people cross continents for.
The love they go to war for.
The love they'd die for? Yes.
The love you sing about? Yes.
Do you believe in that love? I believe in having a good time.
Mmm.
I believe in never being on my own.
And, you know, I really really love ciggies.
(SIGHS) Your ex-boyfriend's a hard man.
Calletti.
He's nothing I can't handle.
And what if he comes after me? You'd better get a gun.
(LAUGHS) Nellie! Nell! Albert's just asked me to marry him.
I said yes! Eileen, that's wonderful! What does your mum think? Oh, she couldn't be happier.
You will be my bridesmaid, won't you? Please say yes.
Oh, of course I will.
I'd love to, sweetheart.
Eileen.
G'day, Eric.
You know Albert.
Ah, g'day.
The kids are engaged, snooks.
Isn't that bonzer? Congratulations.
Aw! Are you alright? Yeah.
Good.
EILEEN: You will come to the saloon tonight, won't you? We're having a do to celebrate.
Free grog.
Oh, we'll be there with bells on.
I love a big shivoo.
I'm going to have to find something special to wear.
Yeah, you will.
Oi! Take your hands off my girl.
Guido, don't interrupt.
Look, I don't want any trouble.
It's too late, you mug! Piss off! Be a man, Eric.
Stand up to him.
You piss off.
What did you just say, mate? I said you piss off! Oh.
Go! I'll see you tonight! What have I done? Go! But No-one's gonna say anything, Eric.
Just go! Leave! (GASPS AND WHEEZES) (DOGS BARK) (SINGS) # There must be something we can talk about # And maybe there's something here that we can do # No matter what your friends say # Don't go too far # (LAUGHS) Oh! Oh, it's beautiful.
It (GASPS) We just nicked it this arvo.
Pulling your leg! (GIGGLES) (APPLAUSE) Thank you, ladies and gents.
The boys and I are gonna take a short break.
Maybe time to offer your congratulations to the happy couple.
(APPLAUSE) Hi.
Guido Calletti was shot five times that day.
But due to his strong constitution and the inferior quality of the ammunition.
no doubt.
his injuries were only minor.
I heard the Palais's hiring.
Who's gonna go all the way to Bondi for a good time? Yeah, true.
Evening, boys.
Thought you were dead.
Guido Calletti's outside.
I told you he wasn't badly hurt.
I shot him four times! Five.
How the hell is he here? I don't know.
He's an idiot.
I'm not going out there.
What? Stuff him.
He's not gonna go away.
I know what he's like.
What sort of maniac is You've beaten him once.
You can beat him again.
You're so much better than him in every single way.
You want me to go out there? You want me to face him? I want you to be my hero.
Isn't that the kind of love that we were talking about? (DOOR CREAKS) He coming? (SIGHS) The shifty prat.
You got that toy gun of yours, you shifty prat? Look, Calletti, I didn't want (GASPS) (SCREAMS) That's a real gun! (SPEAKS ITALIAN) He just pulled his gun out and shot him.
He just pulled it out and shot.
No warning.
Nothing.
And this is all related to drugs? Cocaine? No, it's about a girl.
You're sure it was Guido Calletti? No question about it.
And you're willing to testify to this? Let's have a word to that dago prick, eh? I'm gonna get you that ring now.
With the diamonds.
Promise.
(GIGGLES) Better be careful.
It's loaded.
(CHUCKLES) I shut him up good and proper, eh? It makes my tongue tingle.
Makes all of me tingle.
Me too.
(LOUD KNOCK AT DOOR) Open up! Police! What? What the Shit! It doesn't open (CRUNCH!) Hold it there, Calletti.
What? Hands behind your back, son.
GUIDO: What? One round discharged.
You broke my door.
You're nicked, Calletti.
For what? For shooting Eric Connolly outside Kate Leigh's saloon.
What, that singer bloke? Guido was with me.
We were there but we left after 11:00 and went straight home.
Bullshit.
And we have witnesses who'll testify it's bullshit.
You're coming with us.
Oh, out of interest - is he dead? No.
No thanks to you.
When the detectives get back they'll take your statements.
Sit down and wait.
This is a joke! I'm an innocent man.
Yeah, and I'm the Shah of Persia.
I'm gonna log this.
Be with you boys in a minute.
DESK OFFICER: He give you any trouble? Nothing we couldn't handle.
Got some drunks out back I've gotta hose down.
You right here? Yeah.
We're right.
(KEYS JINGLE) (TENSE MUSIC) It was never determined how Guido Calletti was left alone with the two eyewitnesses.
But it only took a heartbeat for him to get his message across.
And when Eric Connolly found he couldn't actually remember who shot him.
any case against Guido collapsed.
MAN: I'm very pleased to publish for the first time the banns of marriage between Albert Reginald Duke of the parish of Whittersham, in Old Blighty, and our own Eileen Leigh, of this parish.
(GRUNTS AND MOANS) Stupid, stupid, stupid man.
I told you to keep an eye on her! (WHINES AND SOBS) A whirlwind romance, I'm afraid.
Everything's a little topsy-turvy.
Are you up the duff? No.
No, I'm not.
Your parents will be coming over for the wedding, of course.
Afraid not.
No.
Father's quite elderly and, er, not in the best of health, so Hmm.
Do they have a a bob or two? Ma.
It's tradition for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding.
It's tradition for you to ask me permission first.
Maybe we would've if you weren't in jail! Eileen says I make her the happiest she's ever been in her whole life.
Oh.
Is that right? Alright.
What's done is done.
I'm very happy for you both.
Everything's arranged.
We settle on Monday at the close of business.
And when can we kick the old bitch's lackeys out and move in? Immediately.
Monday night? Yes.
You fuckin' beauty! JIM: Calls for another beer.
(SIGHS HAPPILY) Er, there's something else I'd like to talk to you about - on a more personal scale.
Hey, love.
Thought you were on holidays.
I set her up with a few twists, like we agreed.
I thought I'd try moving them at the Arms.
I know a lot of the blokes there, and they know me.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
Talk about bad timing, though.
No sooner than I'd got there than I see Tilly and Big Jim.
I thought I'd better piss off quick.
If Tilly saw me there, working for Kate, she'd kill me.
AGGIE: But it was too late.
Thought you were on holidays.
I am.
Just popped in for a bit of a drink.
Who's that cove? Oh, some real estate bloke.
We're buying Kate Leigh's saloon.
What? The whole building.
Deal goes through Monday.
I've gotta tell Kate.
Get out! Greg.
Hold the fort.
Good work.
Thanks.
I'll burn the fuckin' house down before that bitch sets Katie! one foot inside that house! Katie.
Kate! KATIE! It ain't done yet.
The deal - it ain't done.
Outbid us? How the fuck could that poxy cow outbid us?! She wasn't even supposed to know we were buying the fucking dump! Love Don't you 'love' me, Jim.
You mention this to any of your mates? Course not.
Then how the fuck did they find out?! I don't know.
Just calm down, will you? I'm gonna flay that fucking slapper! Listen, love, you didn't wanna get into sly grog anyway.
Look at me! You're better than that.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm not some filthy sly-grogger.
Course you're not.
You're a lady.
You're a class act.
I'm better than that bitch will ever be.
Too right.
Made her pay well above market value as well.
She paid a fortune for a place she was already fucking renting cheap.
That's gotta make you feel good.
Oh, it makes me feel fucking marvellous! (SIGHS) (SCREAMS) No! Signed, sealed and delivered.
(CHUCKLES) Can only be one queen.
Looks like I'm it.
No doubt about it.
Just wait outside, Wal.
Alright, mate.
Let's go.
No, not you.
Just wait outside.
Your Highness.
(SIGHS) My beautiful boy.
Guido Calletti could never stay out of trouble for long.
And he could never resist the lure of a drunk with a loaded wallet.
a handy bit of timber.
and a secluded laneway.
It was only a matter of time before he was locked up for good.
Give my regards to the Bay, dago.
Which meant Nellie Cameron was going to have to wait for her diamond ring.
But perhaps she had other things to think about.
With Guido out of circulation.
she fell back into the arms of the Little Gunman.
Frank Green.
The girl they called Black Aggie turned her back on prostitution.
She was looking forward to a bright future with her new love.
Greg 'The Gunman' Gaffney.
And Queen Tilly? Well.
Queen Tilly was moving her court from the loins of temptation.
all the way out to the suburbs.
Don't even come this far for me holidays.
Who lives here? We do.
Mmm! It's a palace.
Which only left Wally Tomlinson.
cuckolded by the woman he loved.
What on earth was a man supposed to do? (THEME MUSIC) SONG: # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there.
#
Shall I telephone your parents to tell them you're alright? It's none of your business.
Bruce Higgs is me name.
I'll work for nothing.
Then you're a fool.
Or the smartest man in town, to know the value of learning from the smartest woman in town.
Well, I'm no lady.
And I'm old enough to be your mother.
I don't care.
You're the prettiest thing I've seen in a long time.
Only want good lookers working for you now, eh? Yeah.
I'm sick of your ugly mug.
I wanna be recognised for what I am.
I recognise you, sweetheart.
I'd recognise that arse of yours Hey, what the hell is this? Shit! Whatever it is you're looking for, there's nothing here.
You're under arrest for keeping a house frequented by thieves.
What? TILLY: Kate's in jail.
JIM: They reckon she'll get a year.
You know what this means, boys.
This town is ours.
(THEME MUSIC) SONG: # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there.
# (TILLY SINGS ALONG TO RECORD) # God save our gracious King # Long live our noble King # God # On your feet, girls.
On your feet! # God save # (GIRLS SING TENTATIVELY) # the King # God save us.
No disrespect.
Customers.
Be upstanding, gents.
Bet their old fellas are already standing to attention.
All together now! # Ba da da da ALL: # Send him victorious # Happy and glorious # Long to reign o # NARRATOR: The King's birthday holiday.
The ageing monarch was in his decline.
but for Queen Tilly.
everything was coming up roses.
Or so she thought.
# the King! # Alright, gents, we've got some lovely girls for you today.
And what better way to celebrate Georgie Porgie's birthday? Where's the new girl? She went upstairs.
Jim wanted to show her something.
Oh.
Half a mo.
('GOD SAVE THE KING' PLAYS) (BREATHES RAGGEDLY) Hey, darl.
Jeez, you're home early.
Get off him, you slut! Come here! (SQUEALS) I'll fucking kill you! JIM: Get out! I'll kill you! Get off him! (SCREAMS) Get off me! Let me go! Get off me! (SQUEALS) JIM: Arggh! Oh! (PANTS) Fucking come here! As for Queen Kate.
she was screwed in a whole other way.
(TRUCK ENGINE IDLES) (WOMAN SHOUTS, BELL RINGS) Sentenced to four months jail for keeping a house frequented by thieves.
Kate Leigh had been a guest of His Majesty once before.
And being a fast learner.
she wasn't keen on repeating the experience.
Bend over.
You're mine, filthy whore.
Oh! (GASPS) Ooh.
Crikey, that's a bit rude.
Just fart at her.
Next! Hello, Smithy.
Long time no see.
Well, if it isn't little Katie Leigh.
(SILENT-MOVIE-STYLE PIANO MUSIC) Oh, don't get your hopes up, Smithy.
This time things are gonna be a little different.
Oh, are they? (CAR DOOR CLOSES) (KNOCK AT DOOR) WALLY: Evening, Smithy.
Money or the blade? Your choice.
(WOMAN YELLS INDISTINCTLY) (BRIGHT MUSIC PLAYS) (MAN YODELS TUNEFULLY ON RECORD) Kate knew Tilly Devine would make a move on her empire.
It was just a matter of how and when.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) Whoopsy-daisy.
If you think for one fucking moment you're getting into this bed Jeez, you're beautiful.
Piss off.
I said I was sorry.
And I said PISS OFF! Brought you a box of chockies.
With my money.
With my winnings.
That you won with my money.
I know something you don't know.
I doubt that.
Met a bloke at the races, owns her building.
Whose building? Kate Leigh's saloon building.
Reckons the old bat's more trouble than she's worth.
So what? Says he and his associates might be interested in selling it.
You magnificent bugger.
KATE: You took your time.
WALLY: I came as soon as you called.
What's up? With me in here, that Pommy slut's bound to have a go.
Don't worry about it.
It's all under control.
I reckon she'll try to take our Katie.
They touch one of our girls, we slice two of theirs.
Understood? That's why I'm taking on some more muscle.
Good.
(SNIFFS) Yeah, good.
No half-measures, Wal.
No holding back.
I need you to be me out there, alright? Not as pretty, but I'll do my best.
You need anything else? Yeah.
More of this.
Tobacco? Filthy rubbish is worth more than gold in here.
Righto.
And, er keep a tight leash on Eileen, would you? That girl was born with a bullseye on her forehead.
Yeah.
What do you mean I'm coming with you? This is my place.
It's too dangerous.
Come on.
Well, who's gonna look after it? Anyone but you, Eileen.
Bugger you, Wally.
Get your stuff.
(CLAMOURING OUTSIDE) (GLASS SMASHES, MEN SHOUT) Come on.
No wonder my place is dead.
They're all here.
Yeah.
Wonder why.
Grab an apron and give Bruce a hand.
You're not me mum.
Do you want another one? Just make yourself useful.
I got business to take care of.
(CHUCKLES) (BRITISH ACCENT) May I have one of those? Hate to see a pretty girl drinking alone.
(MAN SINGS) # Ain't she sweet? # See her walking down the street # And now I ask you very confidentially # Ain't she sweet # Cheers.
# Ain't she nice? # Look her over once or twice # Shall we dance? # Now, I ask you very confidentially # Ain't she nice? # Just cast an eye # In her direction # Oh, me, oh, my # Ain't that perfection? # Ain't she sweet? # Don't you think she's kind of neat? # Now, I ask you very confidentially # Ain't she sweet? # Now, I ask you very confidentially # Ain't she sweet? # (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) (PEOPLE CHAT AND WHOOP) Shove off.
# just to see his girlfriend's smile # Push it over before she blows it # Putting on the style # Putting on the agony Putting on the style # That's what all the young folks # Taking this place away from here would be like ripping her heart out with me bare hands.
This should be interesting.
Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here? Champagne, garcon! Make mine a beer.
You've come to the wrong place if you're looking for trouble, Tilly.
That's Miss Devine to you, shit-head.
I am asking you to leave.
You and whose army, Tomlinson? Bloke at the door said there was a floor show.
These must be the comedians.
Funny as Stiffy and Mo.
Stiffy.
(LAUGHS) From what I hear, you're Stiffy.
Now, I ordered a drink! Five bob.
That's highway robbery.
Take it or leave it.
Pay him.
Pay him.
One drink.
(CHUCKLES) (LAUGHS) What's a nice kid like you doing working for that old sack of shit, eh? You want a proper job, come see me.
You know, furs and rings don't make you a lady.
You're still just a common slut.
GREG: Our turf.
Come on, Jim.
Wouldn't drink this bitch's grog anyway - got horse piss in it! (SHOUTS) It's a well-known fact - got fucking horse piss in it! (LAUGHS) Bitch owes me five bob! Tilly knew Kate was expecting her to attack her cocaine sellers and for devious reasons of her own.
she was happy to oblige.
Work for Tilly Devine, girls, or I'll send you to the freak show.
You're the freak, Frank.
Give him like he was gonna give us, Wal! Cut his ears off, Wal! (WHISTLE BLOWS) Run! Police! (PANTS) It's five bob.
(LAUGHS) I bet you Tilly won't forget it either.
No chance.
They say she still has the first penny she ever earnt.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) She does have some lovely stuff, though.
Mmm.
Did you see that sparkler on her finger? Which one? Diamonds.
What I wouldn't give for a ring like that.
I'll get you one.
(GIGGLES) I will.
I promise.
Doesn't hurt to dream.
(SIGHS) Yeah, so I was thinking maybe we should give the Tradesman's Arms a go tomorrow.
It's payday on the wharves.
The public bar? I'll make it sweet with the publican.
That's Black Aggie's patch.
She's up Palmer Street most days.
The place is going begging now.
(MAN WOLF-WHISTLES) (MEN CHUCKLE) Oh, you like what you see, boys? Not too shabby, mate.
Two quid and she's yours.
Oh.
Alright.
(CHUCKLES) (HORSES WHINNY) All the girls have got muscle with them.
The cops are everywhere too.
We keep this up, we're only asking for trouble.
Not scared of a bit of trouble, are you, Frankie? I ain't afraid of anything.
Good man.
Then keep up the good work.
But I don't get you.
It's an old trick, Frank - make 'em look at your right hand while you pick their pocket with your left.
(DOOR OPENS) Mrs Windsor, I assume.
FRANK GREEN: You presumed wrong, cobber.
Mr Madsen.
Off you go, Frank.
Off you go.
I thought it best to be discreet.
I understand, Mrs Devine.
Mum's the word.
I've got some very good news for you.
Oh, do tell.
That property you're interested in (COINS CLINK) might just be available.
So me hubby wasn't full of shit, then.
Wonderful.
Your instructions are to proceed, then? Oh, yes.
Full steam ahead, Mr Madsen.
I want this so bad I can taste it.
And, of course, we will make it worth your while.
Excellent.
But not a word to anyone, alright? Round here the fleas have ears.
(LAUGHS) So takings are down? Times are tough.
Yeah, tough times the punters need a drink more than ever.
That's no excuse.
(SIGHS) What about the other? The snow's still moving.
I put word out it's business as usual for the merchandise.
Hey, Wal - what the pluck? (BOTH LAUGH RAUCOUSLY) You can't just sit on your arse, Wal.
I know that.
I'm not.
Yeah, you gotta make your own opportunities.
You have any trouble? WALLY: Nothing we couldn't handle.
(THUMPING AND GRUNTING) (SCOFFS) I knew she'd try it on.
Don't leave your guard down for a second.
We won't.
Cops have increased their patrols as well.
Oh.
Might be a godsend.
Remind me to send a Chrissie card to Bill Mackay.
Eileen been behaving herself? Yeah.
WALLY: The door stays open when he's here! Yeah.
No problems on that front.
Well, you tell her it wouldn't kill her to visit her mother sometimes.
Righto.
Yeah, Wal, the next time bring Bruce with you.
Mmm? There's a love.
Oh, Bruce is pretty busy, Katie.
He's hardly got time to scratch himself.
I'm not asking you.
I'm telling you.
Mmm? Bring Bruce with you.
(SNIFFS) Are you gonna share that? (SNIFFS, SIGHS) All gone.
Selfish bitch.
Where's Till? Oh, she's at the pub.
Did you have a win? I'm grinning, aren't I? How's about a snifter to celebrate? On the tick.
Thanks, darling.
Whack that in the meat safe, love - some lovely tripe and brains.
(MOCKING) Mmm.
What's wrong with you? We're not supposed to look at you sideways.
What? Well, Tilly said she'll poke our eyes out.
Very literal is our Peg.
I'll go find the missus down the pub.
(SNIFFS, SIGHS) Well, I might try my luck down the pub too.
It's as dead as a doornail in here.
We need your husband's signature on these documents.
Surely your solicitor would've My solicitor explained.
Doesn't mean I have to like it.
(DOOR OPENS) Oh, as luck would have it.
Mr Windsor.
Sydney Madsen.
Mr Madsen's our real estate man.
We need you to sign some of these Yeah, I'm not doing anything until I quench my thirst.
Maybe you could come down a few bob.
They're stupid and they stink.
I'm not dropping my price.
Think I might even put it up.
This is my patch! You're welcome to it.
Try that again, sweetheart, and I'll cut your tits off.
Let it go.
Love? Mate, six bob, she will suck you dry.
Two quid, you can do whatever you want to her.
GUIDO: What's going on? That was my father.
What?! He's my father.
Eleanor! Please, love.
Come home.
Your mum is sick with worry.
Leave me alone.
Eleanor.
I'm not her anymore.
I'm not the person you're looking for.
I'm sorry.
I thought seeing you might (SOMBRE MUSIC) Come home.
Come home.
Come home.
Please, love.
How was I to know? I'm going back to work.
So, two bob for a blowie, or three guineas and I'll go all the way.
What do you reckon? Go ahead.
If you want a dose of the clap.
I thought I told you to get out of here.
I'm younger, prettier, and the best damn whore this town's ever seen.
You uppity little bitch.
I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
Go ahead and try.
Nell.
Nell.
You can stay out of this.
You've done enough already.
No fighting in the bar, girls! You got a problem, take it outside! How about it, Aggie? Out back.
Winner takes all.
You're on.
There's a fight, guys! There's a fight! Come on! Two sheilas! Two sheilas! AGGIE: You rotten cow! Go on home to your mummy and daddy.
There's no place for you here! OK, let's make this a real show, right? (MEN CHEER) If that's the way you wanna play it.
Yarggh! Two bob on Nell! Yarggh! Arggh! Come on, you fuckin' slut! Oh, yeah! Come on! (WOMEN GRUNT AND SCREAM, MEN CHEER) ARMFIELD: Stop this! You're not animals.
Not yet! ARMFIELD: Stop it! Give her the claws! (WAILS) Stop it.
Just We got a winner.
We got a winner! We got a winner! We'll get you to a doctor.
She's coming with me.
She's coming with me! (AGGIE WHIMPERS) (AGGIE SOBS) (SNIFFS) You know what they call these? The 10 Commandments.
"Thou shalt not fight" She started it.
"Thou shalt not diddle thou employer.
" I was gonna give you your share of every penny.
(SCOFFS) Darling, do I look like I came down in the last shower? (SIGHS) Now, this is gonna hurt.
J-Jesus Christ! (SIGHS AND GASPS) (WHIMPERS) (CRIES) Looks like you'll be taking a little holiday.
What does that mean? Oh, no johnny's gonna want a girl with scabby titties, is he? There's no work for you here, my girl, not until them puppies get better.
And let's hope they do get better or you'll be looking for gainful employment at Sargents Pies.
Don't.
Penny for them.
Do you mind? (CLEARS THROAT) Name's Greg.
I know who you are.
So what were you thinking? If you must know, I was thinking about ways of killing Nellie Cameron.
Do you want to shoot her for me? (LAUGHS) Well I I saw the stoush.
Yeah, I know.
(CLEARS THROAT) You work for Kate Leigh, don't you? She looking for any more girls? Er, she doesn't run prossies.
I know that.
I was thinking about starting a new career.
Oh, must've had a bad oyster.
Star light, star bright.
First star I see tonight.
Wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight.
I give you my wish.
Yeah, well If wishes were horses Then beggars would ride.
(CHUCKLES) You've been here all evening? Yeah.
Has Jim been, er What, Tilly? behaving himself? Yeah.
I cooked him some dinner.
I was a cook in the army.
Oh, I never knew that.
I fricasseed his brains.
Before or after he pickled them? (CHUCKLES) He's a man with a big appetite.
That he is.
And who can blame him when there's so much temptation around? 'Night.
Nighty-night, Tilly.
(MELLOW JAZZ MUSIC) (SINGS) # There must be something we can talk about # And maybe there's something here that we can do # No matter what your friends say Don't go too far # Remember there's just one thing (VOICE ECHOES) # Whenever you come this way # You know I wouldn't get you down # I just like talking to you # (SINGING FADES) (SINGING FADES BACK UP) # we can get together # We can get together # You know I wouldn't get you down # I just like talking to you # Maybe we can get together # We can get together # Maybe some time # Where've you been? You know where I've been.
I had some papers to go over with Mr Madsen.
Oh, you took long enough.
Well, you could've come too instead of boozing on at Mack's.
(SOFTLY) I'm doing this for us, you know.
(HARDER) I'm gonna grind that manky cow into the dust.
You want a cuddle? (SNORES SOFTLY) (TRAIN CHUGS IN DISTANCE) (SIGHS) (TRAIN CHUGS NEARBY) Do you believe in love at first sight? Of course I do.
You do? I'm a romantic.
It happens to me all the time.
I mean true love.
So do I.
The love poets write about.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
The love people cross continents for.
The love they go to war for.
The love they'd die for? Yes.
The love you sing about? Yes.
Do you believe in that love? I believe in having a good time.
Mmm.
I believe in never being on my own.
And, you know, I really really love ciggies.
(SIGHS) Your ex-boyfriend's a hard man.
Calletti.
He's nothing I can't handle.
And what if he comes after me? You'd better get a gun.
(LAUGHS) Nellie! Nell! Albert's just asked me to marry him.
I said yes! Eileen, that's wonderful! What does your mum think? Oh, she couldn't be happier.
You will be my bridesmaid, won't you? Please say yes.
Oh, of course I will.
I'd love to, sweetheart.
Eileen.
G'day, Eric.
You know Albert.
Ah, g'day.
The kids are engaged, snooks.
Isn't that bonzer? Congratulations.
Aw! Are you alright? Yeah.
Good.
EILEEN: You will come to the saloon tonight, won't you? We're having a do to celebrate.
Free grog.
Oh, we'll be there with bells on.
I love a big shivoo.
I'm going to have to find something special to wear.
Yeah, you will.
Oi! Take your hands off my girl.
Guido, don't interrupt.
Look, I don't want any trouble.
It's too late, you mug! Piss off! Be a man, Eric.
Stand up to him.
You piss off.
What did you just say, mate? I said you piss off! Oh.
Go! I'll see you tonight! What have I done? Go! But No-one's gonna say anything, Eric.
Just go! Leave! (GASPS AND WHEEZES) (DOGS BARK) (SINGS) # There must be something we can talk about # And maybe there's something here that we can do # No matter what your friends say # Don't go too far # (LAUGHS) Oh! Oh, it's beautiful.
It (GASPS) We just nicked it this arvo.
Pulling your leg! (GIGGLES) (APPLAUSE) Thank you, ladies and gents.
The boys and I are gonna take a short break.
Maybe time to offer your congratulations to the happy couple.
(APPLAUSE) Hi.
Guido Calletti was shot five times that day.
But due to his strong constitution and the inferior quality of the ammunition.
no doubt.
his injuries were only minor.
I heard the Palais's hiring.
Who's gonna go all the way to Bondi for a good time? Yeah, true.
Evening, boys.
Thought you were dead.
Guido Calletti's outside.
I told you he wasn't badly hurt.
I shot him four times! Five.
How the hell is he here? I don't know.
He's an idiot.
I'm not going out there.
What? Stuff him.
He's not gonna go away.
I know what he's like.
What sort of maniac is You've beaten him once.
You can beat him again.
You're so much better than him in every single way.
You want me to go out there? You want me to face him? I want you to be my hero.
Isn't that the kind of love that we were talking about? (DOOR CREAKS) He coming? (SIGHS) The shifty prat.
You got that toy gun of yours, you shifty prat? Look, Calletti, I didn't want (GASPS) (SCREAMS) That's a real gun! (SPEAKS ITALIAN) He just pulled his gun out and shot him.
He just pulled it out and shot.
No warning.
Nothing.
And this is all related to drugs? Cocaine? No, it's about a girl.
You're sure it was Guido Calletti? No question about it.
And you're willing to testify to this? Let's have a word to that dago prick, eh? I'm gonna get you that ring now.
With the diamonds.
Promise.
(GIGGLES) Better be careful.
It's loaded.
(CHUCKLES) I shut him up good and proper, eh? It makes my tongue tingle.
Makes all of me tingle.
Me too.
(LOUD KNOCK AT DOOR) Open up! Police! What? What the Shit! It doesn't open (CRUNCH!) Hold it there, Calletti.
What? Hands behind your back, son.
GUIDO: What? One round discharged.
You broke my door.
You're nicked, Calletti.
For what? For shooting Eric Connolly outside Kate Leigh's saloon.
What, that singer bloke? Guido was with me.
We were there but we left after 11:00 and went straight home.
Bullshit.
And we have witnesses who'll testify it's bullshit.
You're coming with us.
Oh, out of interest - is he dead? No.
No thanks to you.
When the detectives get back they'll take your statements.
Sit down and wait.
This is a joke! I'm an innocent man.
Yeah, and I'm the Shah of Persia.
I'm gonna log this.
Be with you boys in a minute.
DESK OFFICER: He give you any trouble? Nothing we couldn't handle.
Got some drunks out back I've gotta hose down.
You right here? Yeah.
We're right.
(KEYS JINGLE) (TENSE MUSIC) It was never determined how Guido Calletti was left alone with the two eyewitnesses.
But it only took a heartbeat for him to get his message across.
And when Eric Connolly found he couldn't actually remember who shot him.
any case against Guido collapsed.
MAN: I'm very pleased to publish for the first time the banns of marriage between Albert Reginald Duke of the parish of Whittersham, in Old Blighty, and our own Eileen Leigh, of this parish.
(GRUNTS AND MOANS) Stupid, stupid, stupid man.
I told you to keep an eye on her! (WHINES AND SOBS) A whirlwind romance, I'm afraid.
Everything's a little topsy-turvy.
Are you up the duff? No.
No, I'm not.
Your parents will be coming over for the wedding, of course.
Afraid not.
No.
Father's quite elderly and, er, not in the best of health, so Hmm.
Do they have a a bob or two? Ma.
It's tradition for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding.
It's tradition for you to ask me permission first.
Maybe we would've if you weren't in jail! Eileen says I make her the happiest she's ever been in her whole life.
Oh.
Is that right? Alright.
What's done is done.
I'm very happy for you both.
Everything's arranged.
We settle on Monday at the close of business.
And when can we kick the old bitch's lackeys out and move in? Immediately.
Monday night? Yes.
You fuckin' beauty! JIM: Calls for another beer.
(SIGHS HAPPILY) Er, there's something else I'd like to talk to you about - on a more personal scale.
Hey, love.
Thought you were on holidays.
I set her up with a few twists, like we agreed.
I thought I'd try moving them at the Arms.
I know a lot of the blokes there, and they know me.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
Talk about bad timing, though.
No sooner than I'd got there than I see Tilly and Big Jim.
I thought I'd better piss off quick.
If Tilly saw me there, working for Kate, she'd kill me.
AGGIE: But it was too late.
Thought you were on holidays.
I am.
Just popped in for a bit of a drink.
Who's that cove? Oh, some real estate bloke.
We're buying Kate Leigh's saloon.
What? The whole building.
Deal goes through Monday.
I've gotta tell Kate.
Get out! Greg.
Hold the fort.
Good work.
Thanks.
I'll burn the fuckin' house down before that bitch sets Katie! one foot inside that house! Katie.
Kate! KATIE! It ain't done yet.
The deal - it ain't done.
Outbid us? How the fuck could that poxy cow outbid us?! She wasn't even supposed to know we were buying the fucking dump! Love Don't you 'love' me, Jim.
You mention this to any of your mates? Course not.
Then how the fuck did they find out?! I don't know.
Just calm down, will you? I'm gonna flay that fucking slapper! Listen, love, you didn't wanna get into sly grog anyway.
Look at me! You're better than that.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm not some filthy sly-grogger.
Course you're not.
You're a lady.
You're a class act.
I'm better than that bitch will ever be.
Too right.
Made her pay well above market value as well.
She paid a fortune for a place she was already fucking renting cheap.
That's gotta make you feel good.
Oh, it makes me feel fucking marvellous! (SIGHS) (SCREAMS) No! Signed, sealed and delivered.
(CHUCKLES) Can only be one queen.
Looks like I'm it.
No doubt about it.
Just wait outside, Wal.
Alright, mate.
Let's go.
No, not you.
Just wait outside.
Your Highness.
(SIGHS) My beautiful boy.
Guido Calletti could never stay out of trouble for long.
And he could never resist the lure of a drunk with a loaded wallet.
a handy bit of timber.
and a secluded laneway.
It was only a matter of time before he was locked up for good.
Give my regards to the Bay, dago.
Which meant Nellie Cameron was going to have to wait for her diamond ring.
But perhaps she had other things to think about.
With Guido out of circulation.
she fell back into the arms of the Little Gunman.
Frank Green.
The girl they called Black Aggie turned her back on prostitution.
She was looking forward to a bright future with her new love.
Greg 'The Gunman' Gaffney.
And Queen Tilly? Well.
Queen Tilly was moving her court from the loins of temptation.
all the way out to the suburbs.
Don't even come this far for me holidays.
Who lives here? We do.
Mmm! It's a palace.
Which only left Wally Tomlinson.
cuckolded by the woman he loved.
What on earth was a man supposed to do? (THEME MUSIC) SONG: # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there # It's a jungle out there.
#