Z Nation (2014) s04e07 Episode Script
A Nice Day for Warren's Wedding
1 - How's he doing? - Not so good.
Perviously on Z Nation [TIRES SQUEALING.]
- How is he? - We have to save him! - What you thinking? - I have to try! Lucy, don't.
Do these have something to do with you aging? I promised Addy that we'd all stick together.
[CRYING.]
Lucy [CRYING.]
I'm sorry.
We all loved you, Lucy.
From the moment you clawed your way into this world, we knew you were special.
As you wove your way in and out of our journey in this big ole world of hurt and darkness, you were the bright spot.
Freaky little blue bright spot.
And in your short time here, you damn near saved the world.
So as another doctor once said, "Let's not cry because she's gone.
But let us smile cuz she was here.
" [SNARLING.]
[ELECTRIC GUITAR THEME MUSIC PLAYS.]
Have mercy - [TWO GUNSHOTS.]
- [THUNK.]
Oh, have mercy.
Hey, why are we stopping? Oh, God.
This stuff stinks.
What is that? Smells like rancid french fries or zombie fish sticks.
You getting hungry? Or Murphy's sock soup or Close.
Old kitchen grease.
Modified diesel running on bio fuel.
Luck to have it.
A lot more grease traps than gas stations.
Let me see what's happening.
[SNARLING.]
We got company.
[SNARLING.]
[SNARLING CONTINUES.]
Uh, let him go.
He's got some things to work out.
[MUFFLED THWAP.]
[MUFFLED SMACK.]
[MUFFLED SMASH.]
[MUFFLED SMASHING CONTINUES.]
[SCREAMING.]
Stop! Stop! Help! Stop! - Get back! - What is that? Keep going! [SCREAMING.]
Help! No.
Stop! Somebody help me! [SCREAMING.]
Aren't you the one that always says never get out of the boat? I'm getting out of the boat.
I'm killing some bad guys.
Who's coming with? Hey, hey, hey.
Let me check it out first, all right? Don't do this in the headspace you're in.
Nothing good can come of it.
Nothing good comes of anything.
[SCREAMING.]
[GROWLING.]
Well what in the hell do we have here? The world's saddest carnival? Mad Zs.
Four.
- Oh, no, five.
- [GROWLING.]
- Any humans? - Up there.
[GROWLING.]
Alive or Z? Can't tell.
Now who would do that to a woman? I tell you, it's not the zombies that make the Apocalypse suck.
- It's the damn people.
- Help.
Help.
- Hang on.
- [GROWLING CONTINUES.]
Help me.
Please.
Don't leave me! They tied me up here and left me for the Zs! Bastards.
Who? Who did this to you? [GROWLING.]
Help me! Let's get her down.
For God's sake, hurry! [GROWLING.]
You guys keep them busy.
I got an idea.
[GROWLING CONTINUES.]
- [SLICE.]
- No - [SPLORCH.]
- brains - [SLICE.]
- today.
[HOLLOW THUMPING.]
Here zombie zombie zombie zombie! Come on! Come on! Good zombie.
Who wants to go for a ride? You want to go for a ride? Come on, let's go for a ride.
Good zombies.
[GROWLING.]
Come on.
Good.
Good zombies.
Hey, hey, hey.
Keep your hands and teeth inside the ride at all times.
[GROWLING.]
[GROWLING.]
Good zombies.
Stay.
[GROWLING.]
[SLICE.]
Open the door! Open the door! [GROWLING.]
You done playing around? I'm dying up here.
[GROWLING CONTINUES.]
Hey, whoa.
Whoa, take it easy.
You're gonna get sick if you drink it that fast.
- She okay? - She'll live.
Good.
Let's get her out of here and get back on the road.
Whoa.
Hold on.
What happened? Who did this to you? [HOLLERING AND MUFFLED MUSIC.]
They did this? They put me up here.
Killed Jacko and Warlock.
- My son is in there.
- They got your son? He's so dead.
They killed your son? The men up there? That does it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Which men? And who's all in that shack? - I'm putting a stop to this.
- Murphy, don't do this.
I've had enough, all right! - Who's coming with me? - Now Murphy, I know you're hurting.
But this will not bring Lucy back.
Or Red.
Addy.
Sun Mei.
5K.
Or any of them.
Neither will listening to you.
[MUFFLED MUSIC AND LAUGHTER.]
For once I think he's right.
We can't just do nothing.
[MUSIC AND LAUGHTER CONTINUE.]
Bad things happen when you fight full of hate.
[MUFFLED MUSIC AND HOLLERING.]
This is weird.
A giant mushroom thing? Oh good, you see it too? I thought I was having a flashback.
She seems like she's gonna be okay.
We have to stop them.
You can't.
Murphy's blinded by PZT.
- PZT? - Post Zombie Trauma.
He's got it bad.
Yeah, well he can't kill what took Lucy.
So he's gonna kill the next thing in his way.
Same with the other two.
This This is gonna end in tears.
Yeah, well we got to stop it before it starts.
I'm not going in there.
We go in there, we become a part of it.
I'm not gonna be a part of it.
Hey! You got any more of these crappy sawdust bars? Or a Zagnut or something? Or Faygo? I'm still thirsty! Let me see what we got.
[GUN COCKING.]
[MUFFLED MUSIC AND HOLLERING.]
- How many you think are in there? - Sounds like a lot.
All the better.
[GASPING.]
- Don't do this.
- Go away, Warren.
We got this.
This is not our fight.
You saved the woman.
She's gonna be fine.
Let's go.
These scumbags just don't get a pass.
The Apocalypse is not an excuse.
You just can't kill bad guys.
Those aren't zombies.
Those are humans.
Not many of us left, even if we're bad.
Yeah, well it's time to drain the gene pool.
Her son could still be in there.
What if that was one of us? But it's not.
We can't save everyone.
They wouldn't stop.
Just kept kicking him upside the head.
Then he says to me, Jenny G, you just a broke ass hoe.
Why would anybody listen to you? Me? Why'd anybody listen to you? Faygo swilling poser.
Scrub.
I keep us safe.
I keep the party going.
Boy, we used to have some good times, though.
We really used to tear it up, I tell you.
This one time, Jesta comes driving up in a Frito truck, right? A whole goddamn truck.
[LAUGHING.]
So anyway, we're whooping it up, stuffing whole bags of Fritos in our mouths.
And then we're like, wait a minute, where's RingJack? [LAUGHING.]
And then I swear, right then, RingJack comes driving around the corner in a Beer Truck.
[LAUGHING.]
Holy shitface! Like manga from heaven.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
We got stupid for a week.
Drinkin', eatin', humpin', rappin', fightin', pukin', and starting all over again.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, Mad Zs.
Wait.
Those aren't Mad Zs.
That's Those are clowns.
[LAUGHING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
- [SNARLING.]
Clowns? Could be worse.
Could be mimes.
- [LAUGHING.]
- [SNARLING.]
So what's with all the circus crap? When the Zompocalypse hit, the boys decided to form their own posse like their heroes, - the Juggalos.
- Juggalos? Except we're the Zug-galos.
We're our own thing.
But I can't hate.
We all family, right? Much family love.
We all bleed Faygo, you know what I mean.
Family always comes back though.
It's always better together.
Family.
[GROANING.]
I don't feel so good.
I need my medicine.
What medicine? What kind? Are you diabetic or something? It's for my brain.
It makes me feel better.
I need it! It's in the house.
I got to get it before they do it all up.
- You don't need that.
- I'm sick.
I'm hurting.
Look.
Come on! I need my Oxy! Oxy? I thought they ran out of that years ago.
We recycle it.
Yep.
Zuggalos got so much drugs in their urine, we save it, filter it, dry it out, snort it all over again.
[LAUGHING.]
We call it Z-Wak.
Z-Wak? You like to party, honey? We got plenty.
No.
Thanks.
The Apocalypse makes me numb enough already.
Well la-tee-freakin'-da.
You think you're better than me?! That there's my house! That makes it my Z-Wak! - That's your house? - That's what I said, ain't it? My boy's down there.
You should stay and party.
Got all we need.
We got Z-Wak.
We got Pruno, Zagnuts, Faygo, Fritos.
Fritos saved my life! We even got music.
Life ain't worth livin' without the music.
We still got solar, some batteries, so we can go all night.
King knows how to make the lights work.
He's good at that stuff.
I'll kill him, though.
I'll wear his nizzos for a necklace.
Discrespectin' me! [LAUGHING.]
Naw, I'm just messin' with ya, honey.
But I'll mess him up for sure.
- [LAUGHING.]
- [SNARLING.]
That's it.
I've seen enough.
Let's go.
[MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES.]
Wait.
I'm ordering you not to do this.
Ordering me? Get the hell out of my way, Warren.
More killing won't change anything.
Like that ever stopped you.
[GUNSHOT.]
[YELLING.]
[SLICING.]
[MUFFLED SOUNDS.]
- Murphy, wait! - [SNARLING.]
Don't do this.
Don't do what? Welcome to our humble home.
And Dark Carnival of Mayhem.
Whoop, whoop! Let the games begin! Games? I don't think he means Parcheesi.
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYS.]
And in this corner, we have the Zuggalo Wheel of Sudden Death.
For your spinning pleasure.
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
And in this corner, Brain the Hippie.
Oh come on, man.
What'd this ole hippie ever do to you? [THWAP.]
[LAUGHING.]
- [THUNK.]
- You need to back up, tater tot! - [THWAP.]
- [YELLING.]
[LAUGHING.]
[GROANING.]
And for those of you who like your torture high tech, I give you Test Your Metal.
[ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
[YELLING.]
I'm gonna kill you! Dude, it's only set to Wussy.
We haven't even cranked it up yet.
[LAUGHING.]
And for our Zuggalo pleasure! Whoop, whoop! Whoop.
Whoop.
All right.
That's it for round one of Drink For Your Life.
Now that we're warmed up, it's time for Pruno! - (ALL) Pruno! - Yeah! Same rules as last round.
Only this time, for every wrong answer, you drink.
And we zap your friend here.
Wait, what? That that's not fair! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- (ALL) [LAUGHING.]
- [YELLING.]
- (ALL) [LAUGHING.]
All right.
Here we go.
Okay, I got it.
What was the first joker's card? That was the Carnival of Carnage.
Guzzle it.
[GROANING.]
- [THWAP.]
- [YELLING.]
Oww! - [CLUNK.]
- Hey, come on, dude.
Really.
- [THWAP.]
- [YELLING.]
Oww! [YELLING.]
Oww! Son of a bitch.
No, no, no.
Oh! [MUFFLED.]
Oh! [MUFFLED.]
Oh! Lucky guess.
That was too easy.
- [MUSIC CEASES.]
- Okay.
I got it.
When did they release Echo Side? That's a trick question.
It's a Dark Lotus song.
And it's on the Tales of the Lotus Pod, in like, - 2001.
- Ha! Wrong.
Drink.
It was actually on The Amazing Jeckel Brothers in 1999.
That was a good try though.
You were right.
It was on Dark Lotus too.
But later.
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [YELLING.]
[MUSIC RESUMES.]
[LAUGHING.]
- How long we waiting for them? - They'll be back.
- In the meantime we wait right here.
- Yeah.
What if they don't come back? That's a house full of violent knuckleheads high on Pruno and Wack.
They'll be back.
[MUSIC CEASES.]
- You hear that? - What? - I don't hear anything.
- Exactly.
That's never good.
When my boys was little, they was always raising a ruckus.
If they were in the other room, as long as you heard howlin' you knew everything was okay.
Soon as it got quiet, that's when you worry.
- We should go down there.
- They'll be back.
[YELLING.]
Oh, there you go.
That's better.
You stay here.
I'm gonna go check it out.
I'll be right back.
No way.
I'm going with you.
No.
You stay.
They tried to kill you.
All the more reason not to leave me alone.
Stick close to me, and don't make any noise.
Me? I'm quiet as a mouse.
Back in the day, we were sneaking up on another tribe, and I used to have allergies all the time specifically in the spring.
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYS.]
Ain't never seen that before.
Whoop whoop! [MOANING.]
[GROANING.]
- [WHISPERING.]
Doc? - [WHISPERING.]
10K? Pruno! I'm chillin'.
I'm illin'.
With my guts all over the ceilin'.
Like a game of Simon Says but I never said Simon.
Splash a little paint in their faces and start rhymin'.
What?! Whoop! Whoop! (ALL) Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Damn, girl! [LAUGHING.]
There you go.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
So there he was with half a squirrel in one hand and a hot dog in the other.
He'd a liked to never get that taste out of his mouth.
[GROWLING.]
[SLICE.]
[STAB.]
- [SLICE.]
- What the hell are you doing? Disabling it.
It'll get back up again soon.
- [SLICE.]
- Cut these tendons here, it can't get back up.
It can still crawl.
[BLUDGEONING.]
Friend of mine.
Right.
Crazy ass clown.
[SCREAMING.]
[GLASS SHATTERING.]
[MUSIC PLAYS.]
You don't like me.
But you don't know me.
And if you don't like it, you can blow me.
My homies and me, we came up on the streets.
I grab a microphone, you're gonna feel the heat.
- Geeyuh! - Beam it up to the satellite.
I'll wear you out.
I can go all night.
Like Romeo in love with the Crap-ulet.
You don't love me if you ain't even met me yet.
You don't want me though.
You don't know me, yo.
We'll take it to go like a peanut butter sandwich.
Say what you want.
But you got to take a stand, bitch.
[CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
Whoop whoop! [LAUGHING.]
Much love.
Much love.
Aww, well you think you're some sorta badass ninja? But I got more soul in my freakin' little finger.
Yeah, you and your posse, y'all think you got us by our short and curlies.
But when I leave you, you're gonna be cryin' like little girlies.
[CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
Whoop whoop! Damn, Warren.
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
Come on! [LAUGHING.]
What? What's happening in there? Damn, they've got Warren.
Murphy, too.
- What are they doing? - I'm not sure.
I think they're having a rap battle for Zuggalo Queen.
[MUSIC PLAYS.]
Rats from the sewers, dogs from the streets, sniffin' around for something eat.
Blood in my hands, broken glass in my feet.
Pull up the covers and go back to sleep.
Reach down my throat and pull out my lungs.
You leave me breathless when you take a run.
Let me get some needin' up in my room.
Taste your cotton candy.
Bitch, I'm coming for you.
[LAUGHING.]
I got to go in there.
No.
No.
Mmm.
So it's my cotton candy you want to taste? Take your broke-ass rhymes and get out of my face.
[MUFFLED WARREN RAPPING.]
Was that Warren before? Yeah, she's kicking his ass on the mic.
[MUFFLED WARREN RAPPING CONTINUES.]
Just like your teacher said when you was a kid, give it up dumbass cuz you ain't never gonna get it.
I You I You will be my Zuggalo Queen.
[CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
Whoop whoop! [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
You son of a bitch! I'm gonna beat you till the clown meat shows! [CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
Whoop whoop! You will be my queen.
I wish my mom was here to meet you.
Zuggalo wedding! [LAUGHING.]
Wedding! - Wedding! - (ALL) Wedding! (ALL) Wedding! Wedding! Wedding! Wedding! - (ALL) Wedding! Wedding! - Queen Warren! Warren! Warren! (ALL) Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! (ALL) Warren! Warren! - Warren! - Be ready.
- Follow my lead.
- (ALL) Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! - Wanna crash a wedding? - Yeah.
Let's go get Sarge.
We're with the bride.
[LAUGHING.]
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this Zuggalo and this super hot Zuggalette in the eternal bonds of unholy matrimony.
To join their two beating hearts.
[MOANING.]
Should there be anyone who has cause why this union should not go forward, speak now or forever hold your peace.
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Forever hold your piece! [LAUGHING.]
Through the sharing of of beats, two lives have come together.
We gather to witness and to celebrate.
Like our fathers before us in the grand family tradition, before gods, before devils, and before men, we share in the nuptial blood rite.
It is time for the ceremonial exchange of pinkies.
- [CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
- Followed of course by the time-honored sharing of the bride! [CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
[GUNSHOT.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh.
She's so beautiful.
My baby's getting married? Mom! Whoop whoop! What kind of son are you? I gave you everything.
I gave you life.
Breast fed you till you were five.
And this is how you treat me? But Ma, we were just messin' around.
We were gonna come and get you down.
Besides, you were being a total bitch.
That's zombie shit and you know it.
I could'a died out there on the wheel.
- You know, we saved her.
- BOTH: Shut up! This here is my family, and don't you forget it.
Just cuz you call yourself King don't make it real, yo.
It's my right! You never let me do anything.
I'm tired of you telling me what to do.
You're the center of my universe.
What are you talking about? You were never there for me! You know, I think I know what's going on here.
Me and my daughter, we had the same discussion.
- What you two need to do is - BOTH: Shut up! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- Now, King.
- It's what Daddy would've wanted! You don't know what Daddy would've wanted.
Do right by your mamma, that's what Daddy would've wanted.
- Then well let's ask him! - All right, fine.
- Fine! - BOTH: Fine! Daddy.
Daddy, are you awake? Here you go, Daddy.
Got some new friends for you to meet.
You were gonna get married without inviting either one of us? It happened kinda fast.
We decided to elope.
[GURGLING.]
Oh baby.
How you doin'? You miss your sugar momma? [GURGLING.]
- You miss - [GROWLING.]
All right, get on with it.
Daddy, tell Momma I'm ready to run the clan.
Dumbass! You know he can only answer yes and no questions.
He'll grunt for yes and nothing for no.
Am I ready to run the clan? - [GURGLING.]
- Am I ready to become King Clown? [GURGLING.]
- See! I told you! That wasn't no answer! He just threw up is all.
That don't count as a yes! You want me running the family, right baby? Junior ain't ready.
You want me to run the clan, right? Your sweet-ass sugar momma running the family? Right, Daddy? See! He wants me! Ain't that right, Daddy? [GURGLING.]
No! Daddy! You don't know what you're grunting! [LAUGHING.]
I'm still your Momma! Goddammit! [SCREAMING.]
Get off me, you crazy ho! Not till you stop actin' a fool! Say I'm right! Say it! Let go! [CRASH.]
I knew she'd like you.
[SHATTERING.]
[MOANING.]
[STRUGGLING.]
Touch me again like that, boy, you'll meet Zombie Jesus.
I hate you! [GROANING.]
Cry baby.
I never wanted you.
Why can't you just be a normal mom for once?! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
Stop trying to kill your mom! You know, it's hard being a parent these days! - She tried to kill me! - Yeah! Well, you know she obviously cares about you.
She's conflicted! Did you ever think of that?! You know, I've been a selfish prick my whole life.
But then my little girl was born, and suddenly I wanted something for someone else.
By the time I figured that out, it was too late.
And now my little girl is gone.
But you two, you still have each other! Don't mess that up! It's not me! It's her! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
Stop putting up walls and thinking it's all her fault! Listen to her! Damn right.
You don't listen! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
And you.
You know, there's no right or wrong way to do this parenting thing.
You know, I take that back.
I think you're probably doing it wrong.
You need to see him for who he is, for the man that he is.
He's not that little boy anymore.
- That's what I'm saying! - Shut up! You're lucky.
You got to see him grow up.
My little girl, she grew up so fast, I never got to see that.
Never saw her for who she was.
And she needed me to see that.
He needs you to see that.
See him! I see him.
I see if he doesn't get his clown ass off my back, - I'm gonna beat him down! - You bitch! [MOANING.]
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
King! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
[SMACK.]
[ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
[GURGLING.]
[SNARLING.]
- [GUNSHOT.]
- Run, you clown! - [GROWLING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
This is bad.
Even for us.
[GROWLING.]
Time to GTFO.
[GROWLING.]
- [GROWLING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
You were right.
About what? About Lucy.
What happened was my fault.
Look, I I don't know what we're doing.
These dreams, visions, hallucinations.
It's leading us nowhere.
And I still don't know what it means.
I can't have anyone following me around until I figure it out.
So we head to Newmerica.
[CLUNK, CLUNK.]
North! Copy! North, Lieutenant.
Newmerica? Yeah, Newmerica.
Perviously on Z Nation [TIRES SQUEALING.]
- How is he? - We have to save him! - What you thinking? - I have to try! Lucy, don't.
Do these have something to do with you aging? I promised Addy that we'd all stick together.
[CRYING.]
Lucy [CRYING.]
I'm sorry.
We all loved you, Lucy.
From the moment you clawed your way into this world, we knew you were special.
As you wove your way in and out of our journey in this big ole world of hurt and darkness, you were the bright spot.
Freaky little blue bright spot.
And in your short time here, you damn near saved the world.
So as another doctor once said, "Let's not cry because she's gone.
But let us smile cuz she was here.
" [SNARLING.]
[ELECTRIC GUITAR THEME MUSIC PLAYS.]
Have mercy - [TWO GUNSHOTS.]
- [THUNK.]
Oh, have mercy.
Hey, why are we stopping? Oh, God.
This stuff stinks.
What is that? Smells like rancid french fries or zombie fish sticks.
You getting hungry? Or Murphy's sock soup or Close.
Old kitchen grease.
Modified diesel running on bio fuel.
Luck to have it.
A lot more grease traps than gas stations.
Let me see what's happening.
[SNARLING.]
We got company.
[SNARLING.]
[SNARLING CONTINUES.]
Uh, let him go.
He's got some things to work out.
[MUFFLED THWAP.]
[MUFFLED SMACK.]
[MUFFLED SMASH.]
[MUFFLED SMASHING CONTINUES.]
[SCREAMING.]
Stop! Stop! Help! Stop! - Get back! - What is that? Keep going! [SCREAMING.]
Help! No.
Stop! Somebody help me! [SCREAMING.]
Aren't you the one that always says never get out of the boat? I'm getting out of the boat.
I'm killing some bad guys.
Who's coming with? Hey, hey, hey.
Let me check it out first, all right? Don't do this in the headspace you're in.
Nothing good can come of it.
Nothing good comes of anything.
[SCREAMING.]
[GROWLING.]
Well what in the hell do we have here? The world's saddest carnival? Mad Zs.
Four.
- Oh, no, five.
- [GROWLING.]
- Any humans? - Up there.
[GROWLING.]
Alive or Z? Can't tell.
Now who would do that to a woman? I tell you, it's not the zombies that make the Apocalypse suck.
- It's the damn people.
- Help.
Help.
- Hang on.
- [GROWLING CONTINUES.]
Help me.
Please.
Don't leave me! They tied me up here and left me for the Zs! Bastards.
Who? Who did this to you? [GROWLING.]
Help me! Let's get her down.
For God's sake, hurry! [GROWLING.]
You guys keep them busy.
I got an idea.
[GROWLING CONTINUES.]
- [SLICE.]
- No - [SPLORCH.]
- brains - [SLICE.]
- today.
[HOLLOW THUMPING.]
Here zombie zombie zombie zombie! Come on! Come on! Good zombie.
Who wants to go for a ride? You want to go for a ride? Come on, let's go for a ride.
Good zombies.
[GROWLING.]
Come on.
Good.
Good zombies.
Hey, hey, hey.
Keep your hands and teeth inside the ride at all times.
[GROWLING.]
[GROWLING.]
Good zombies.
Stay.
[GROWLING.]
[SLICE.]
Open the door! Open the door! [GROWLING.]
You done playing around? I'm dying up here.
[GROWLING CONTINUES.]
Hey, whoa.
Whoa, take it easy.
You're gonna get sick if you drink it that fast.
- She okay? - She'll live.
Good.
Let's get her out of here and get back on the road.
Whoa.
Hold on.
What happened? Who did this to you? [HOLLERING AND MUFFLED MUSIC.]
They did this? They put me up here.
Killed Jacko and Warlock.
- My son is in there.
- They got your son? He's so dead.
They killed your son? The men up there? That does it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Which men? And who's all in that shack? - I'm putting a stop to this.
- Murphy, don't do this.
I've had enough, all right! - Who's coming with me? - Now Murphy, I know you're hurting.
But this will not bring Lucy back.
Or Red.
Addy.
Sun Mei.
5K.
Or any of them.
Neither will listening to you.
[MUFFLED MUSIC AND LAUGHTER.]
For once I think he's right.
We can't just do nothing.
[MUSIC AND LAUGHTER CONTINUE.]
Bad things happen when you fight full of hate.
[MUFFLED MUSIC AND HOLLERING.]
This is weird.
A giant mushroom thing? Oh good, you see it too? I thought I was having a flashback.
She seems like she's gonna be okay.
We have to stop them.
You can't.
Murphy's blinded by PZT.
- PZT? - Post Zombie Trauma.
He's got it bad.
Yeah, well he can't kill what took Lucy.
So he's gonna kill the next thing in his way.
Same with the other two.
This This is gonna end in tears.
Yeah, well we got to stop it before it starts.
I'm not going in there.
We go in there, we become a part of it.
I'm not gonna be a part of it.
Hey! You got any more of these crappy sawdust bars? Or a Zagnut or something? Or Faygo? I'm still thirsty! Let me see what we got.
[GUN COCKING.]
[MUFFLED MUSIC AND HOLLERING.]
- How many you think are in there? - Sounds like a lot.
All the better.
[GASPING.]
- Don't do this.
- Go away, Warren.
We got this.
This is not our fight.
You saved the woman.
She's gonna be fine.
Let's go.
These scumbags just don't get a pass.
The Apocalypse is not an excuse.
You just can't kill bad guys.
Those aren't zombies.
Those are humans.
Not many of us left, even if we're bad.
Yeah, well it's time to drain the gene pool.
Her son could still be in there.
What if that was one of us? But it's not.
We can't save everyone.
They wouldn't stop.
Just kept kicking him upside the head.
Then he says to me, Jenny G, you just a broke ass hoe.
Why would anybody listen to you? Me? Why'd anybody listen to you? Faygo swilling poser.
Scrub.
I keep us safe.
I keep the party going.
Boy, we used to have some good times, though.
We really used to tear it up, I tell you.
This one time, Jesta comes driving up in a Frito truck, right? A whole goddamn truck.
[LAUGHING.]
So anyway, we're whooping it up, stuffing whole bags of Fritos in our mouths.
And then we're like, wait a minute, where's RingJack? [LAUGHING.]
And then I swear, right then, RingJack comes driving around the corner in a Beer Truck.
[LAUGHING.]
Holy shitface! Like manga from heaven.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
We got stupid for a week.
Drinkin', eatin', humpin', rappin', fightin', pukin', and starting all over again.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, Mad Zs.
Wait.
Those aren't Mad Zs.
That's Those are clowns.
[LAUGHING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
- [SNARLING.]
Clowns? Could be worse.
Could be mimes.
- [LAUGHING.]
- [SNARLING.]
So what's with all the circus crap? When the Zompocalypse hit, the boys decided to form their own posse like their heroes, - the Juggalos.
- Juggalos? Except we're the Zug-galos.
We're our own thing.
But I can't hate.
We all family, right? Much family love.
We all bleed Faygo, you know what I mean.
Family always comes back though.
It's always better together.
Family.
[GROANING.]
I don't feel so good.
I need my medicine.
What medicine? What kind? Are you diabetic or something? It's for my brain.
It makes me feel better.
I need it! It's in the house.
I got to get it before they do it all up.
- You don't need that.
- I'm sick.
I'm hurting.
Look.
Come on! I need my Oxy! Oxy? I thought they ran out of that years ago.
We recycle it.
Yep.
Zuggalos got so much drugs in their urine, we save it, filter it, dry it out, snort it all over again.
[LAUGHING.]
We call it Z-Wak.
Z-Wak? You like to party, honey? We got plenty.
No.
Thanks.
The Apocalypse makes me numb enough already.
Well la-tee-freakin'-da.
You think you're better than me?! That there's my house! That makes it my Z-Wak! - That's your house? - That's what I said, ain't it? My boy's down there.
You should stay and party.
Got all we need.
We got Z-Wak.
We got Pruno, Zagnuts, Faygo, Fritos.
Fritos saved my life! We even got music.
Life ain't worth livin' without the music.
We still got solar, some batteries, so we can go all night.
King knows how to make the lights work.
He's good at that stuff.
I'll kill him, though.
I'll wear his nizzos for a necklace.
Discrespectin' me! [LAUGHING.]
Naw, I'm just messin' with ya, honey.
But I'll mess him up for sure.
- [LAUGHING.]
- [SNARLING.]
That's it.
I've seen enough.
Let's go.
[MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES.]
Wait.
I'm ordering you not to do this.
Ordering me? Get the hell out of my way, Warren.
More killing won't change anything.
Like that ever stopped you.
[GUNSHOT.]
[YELLING.]
[SLICING.]
[MUFFLED SOUNDS.]
- Murphy, wait! - [SNARLING.]
Don't do this.
Don't do what? Welcome to our humble home.
And Dark Carnival of Mayhem.
Whoop, whoop! Let the games begin! Games? I don't think he means Parcheesi.
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYS.]
And in this corner, we have the Zuggalo Wheel of Sudden Death.
For your spinning pleasure.
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
And in this corner, Brain the Hippie.
Oh come on, man.
What'd this ole hippie ever do to you? [THWAP.]
[LAUGHING.]
- [THUNK.]
- You need to back up, tater tot! - [THWAP.]
- [YELLING.]
[LAUGHING.]
[GROANING.]
And for those of you who like your torture high tech, I give you Test Your Metal.
[ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
[YELLING.]
I'm gonna kill you! Dude, it's only set to Wussy.
We haven't even cranked it up yet.
[LAUGHING.]
And for our Zuggalo pleasure! Whoop, whoop! Whoop.
Whoop.
All right.
That's it for round one of Drink For Your Life.
Now that we're warmed up, it's time for Pruno! - (ALL) Pruno! - Yeah! Same rules as last round.
Only this time, for every wrong answer, you drink.
And we zap your friend here.
Wait, what? That that's not fair! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- (ALL) [LAUGHING.]
- [YELLING.]
- (ALL) [LAUGHING.]
All right.
Here we go.
Okay, I got it.
What was the first joker's card? That was the Carnival of Carnage.
Guzzle it.
[GROANING.]
- [THWAP.]
- [YELLING.]
Oww! - [CLUNK.]
- Hey, come on, dude.
Really.
- [THWAP.]
- [YELLING.]
Oww! [YELLING.]
Oww! Son of a bitch.
No, no, no.
Oh! [MUFFLED.]
Oh! [MUFFLED.]
Oh! Lucky guess.
That was too easy.
- [MUSIC CEASES.]
- Okay.
I got it.
When did they release Echo Side? That's a trick question.
It's a Dark Lotus song.
And it's on the Tales of the Lotus Pod, in like, - 2001.
- Ha! Wrong.
Drink.
It was actually on The Amazing Jeckel Brothers in 1999.
That was a good try though.
You were right.
It was on Dark Lotus too.
But later.
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [YELLING.]
[MUSIC RESUMES.]
[LAUGHING.]
- How long we waiting for them? - They'll be back.
- In the meantime we wait right here.
- Yeah.
What if they don't come back? That's a house full of violent knuckleheads high on Pruno and Wack.
They'll be back.
[MUSIC CEASES.]
- You hear that? - What? - I don't hear anything.
- Exactly.
That's never good.
When my boys was little, they was always raising a ruckus.
If they were in the other room, as long as you heard howlin' you knew everything was okay.
Soon as it got quiet, that's when you worry.
- We should go down there.
- They'll be back.
[YELLING.]
Oh, there you go.
That's better.
You stay here.
I'm gonna go check it out.
I'll be right back.
No way.
I'm going with you.
No.
You stay.
They tried to kill you.
All the more reason not to leave me alone.
Stick close to me, and don't make any noise.
Me? I'm quiet as a mouse.
Back in the day, we were sneaking up on another tribe, and I used to have allergies all the time specifically in the spring.
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYS.]
Ain't never seen that before.
Whoop whoop! [MOANING.]
[GROANING.]
- [WHISPERING.]
Doc? - [WHISPERING.]
10K? Pruno! I'm chillin'.
I'm illin'.
With my guts all over the ceilin'.
Like a game of Simon Says but I never said Simon.
Splash a little paint in their faces and start rhymin'.
What?! Whoop! Whoop! (ALL) Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Damn, girl! [LAUGHING.]
There you go.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
So there he was with half a squirrel in one hand and a hot dog in the other.
He'd a liked to never get that taste out of his mouth.
[GROWLING.]
[SLICE.]
[STAB.]
- [SLICE.]
- What the hell are you doing? Disabling it.
It'll get back up again soon.
- [SLICE.]
- Cut these tendons here, it can't get back up.
It can still crawl.
[BLUDGEONING.]
Friend of mine.
Right.
Crazy ass clown.
[SCREAMING.]
[GLASS SHATTERING.]
[MUSIC PLAYS.]
You don't like me.
But you don't know me.
And if you don't like it, you can blow me.
My homies and me, we came up on the streets.
I grab a microphone, you're gonna feel the heat.
- Geeyuh! - Beam it up to the satellite.
I'll wear you out.
I can go all night.
Like Romeo in love with the Crap-ulet.
You don't love me if you ain't even met me yet.
You don't want me though.
You don't know me, yo.
We'll take it to go like a peanut butter sandwich.
Say what you want.
But you got to take a stand, bitch.
[CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
Whoop whoop! [LAUGHING.]
Much love.
Much love.
Aww, well you think you're some sorta badass ninja? But I got more soul in my freakin' little finger.
Yeah, you and your posse, y'all think you got us by our short and curlies.
But when I leave you, you're gonna be cryin' like little girlies.
[CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
Whoop whoop! Damn, Warren.
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
Come on! [LAUGHING.]
What? What's happening in there? Damn, they've got Warren.
Murphy, too.
- What are they doing? - I'm not sure.
I think they're having a rap battle for Zuggalo Queen.
[MUSIC PLAYS.]
Rats from the sewers, dogs from the streets, sniffin' around for something eat.
Blood in my hands, broken glass in my feet.
Pull up the covers and go back to sleep.
Reach down my throat and pull out my lungs.
You leave me breathless when you take a run.
Let me get some needin' up in my room.
Taste your cotton candy.
Bitch, I'm coming for you.
[LAUGHING.]
I got to go in there.
No.
No.
Mmm.
So it's my cotton candy you want to taste? Take your broke-ass rhymes and get out of my face.
[MUFFLED WARREN RAPPING.]
Was that Warren before? Yeah, she's kicking his ass on the mic.
[MUFFLED WARREN RAPPING CONTINUES.]
Just like your teacher said when you was a kid, give it up dumbass cuz you ain't never gonna get it.
I You I You will be my Zuggalo Queen.
[CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
Whoop whoop! [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
You son of a bitch! I'm gonna beat you till the clown meat shows! [CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
Whoop whoop! You will be my queen.
I wish my mom was here to meet you.
Zuggalo wedding! [LAUGHING.]
Wedding! - Wedding! - (ALL) Wedding! (ALL) Wedding! Wedding! Wedding! Wedding! - (ALL) Wedding! Wedding! - Queen Warren! Warren! Warren! (ALL) Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! (ALL) Warren! Warren! - Warren! - Be ready.
- Follow my lead.
- (ALL) Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! Warren! - Wanna crash a wedding? - Yeah.
Let's go get Sarge.
We're with the bride.
[LAUGHING.]
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this Zuggalo and this super hot Zuggalette in the eternal bonds of unholy matrimony.
To join their two beating hearts.
[MOANING.]
Should there be anyone who has cause why this union should not go forward, speak now or forever hold your peace.
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Forever hold your piece! [LAUGHING.]
Through the sharing of of beats, two lives have come together.
We gather to witness and to celebrate.
Like our fathers before us in the grand family tradition, before gods, before devils, and before men, we share in the nuptial blood rite.
It is time for the ceremonial exchange of pinkies.
- [CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
- Followed of course by the time-honored sharing of the bride! [CHEERING AND HOLLERING.]
[GUNSHOT.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh.
She's so beautiful.
My baby's getting married? Mom! Whoop whoop! What kind of son are you? I gave you everything.
I gave you life.
Breast fed you till you were five.
And this is how you treat me? But Ma, we were just messin' around.
We were gonna come and get you down.
Besides, you were being a total bitch.
That's zombie shit and you know it.
I could'a died out there on the wheel.
- You know, we saved her.
- BOTH: Shut up! This here is my family, and don't you forget it.
Just cuz you call yourself King don't make it real, yo.
It's my right! You never let me do anything.
I'm tired of you telling me what to do.
You're the center of my universe.
What are you talking about? You were never there for me! You know, I think I know what's going on here.
Me and my daughter, we had the same discussion.
- What you two need to do is - BOTH: Shut up! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- Now, King.
- It's what Daddy would've wanted! You don't know what Daddy would've wanted.
Do right by your mamma, that's what Daddy would've wanted.
- Then well let's ask him! - All right, fine.
- Fine! - BOTH: Fine! Daddy.
Daddy, are you awake? Here you go, Daddy.
Got some new friends for you to meet.
You were gonna get married without inviting either one of us? It happened kinda fast.
We decided to elope.
[GURGLING.]
Oh baby.
How you doin'? You miss your sugar momma? [GURGLING.]
- You miss - [GROWLING.]
All right, get on with it.
Daddy, tell Momma I'm ready to run the clan.
Dumbass! You know he can only answer yes and no questions.
He'll grunt for yes and nothing for no.
Am I ready to run the clan? - [GURGLING.]
- Am I ready to become King Clown? [GURGLING.]
- See! I told you! That wasn't no answer! He just threw up is all.
That don't count as a yes! You want me running the family, right baby? Junior ain't ready.
You want me to run the clan, right? Your sweet-ass sugar momma running the family? Right, Daddy? See! He wants me! Ain't that right, Daddy? [GURGLING.]
No! Daddy! You don't know what you're grunting! [LAUGHING.]
I'm still your Momma! Goddammit! [SCREAMING.]
Get off me, you crazy ho! Not till you stop actin' a fool! Say I'm right! Say it! Let go! [CRASH.]
I knew she'd like you.
[SHATTERING.]
[MOANING.]
[STRUGGLING.]
Touch me again like that, boy, you'll meet Zombie Jesus.
I hate you! [GROANING.]
Cry baby.
I never wanted you.
Why can't you just be a normal mom for once?! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
Stop trying to kill your mom! You know, it's hard being a parent these days! - She tried to kill me! - Yeah! Well, you know she obviously cares about you.
She's conflicted! Did you ever think of that?! You know, I've been a selfish prick my whole life.
But then my little girl was born, and suddenly I wanted something for someone else.
By the time I figured that out, it was too late.
And now my little girl is gone.
But you two, you still have each other! Don't mess that up! It's not me! It's her! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
Stop putting up walls and thinking it's all her fault! Listen to her! Damn right.
You don't listen! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
And you.
You know, there's no right or wrong way to do this parenting thing.
You know, I take that back.
I think you're probably doing it wrong.
You need to see him for who he is, for the man that he is.
He's not that little boy anymore.
- That's what I'm saying! - Shut up! You're lucky.
You got to see him grow up.
My little girl, she grew up so fast, I never got to see that.
Never saw her for who she was.
And she needed me to see that.
He needs you to see that.
See him! I see him.
I see if he doesn't get his clown ass off my back, - I'm gonna beat him down! - You bitch! [MOANING.]
- [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
King! - [ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
[SMACK.]
[ELECTRIC ZAPPING.]
[GURGLING.]
[SNARLING.]
- [GUNSHOT.]
- Run, you clown! - [GROWLING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
This is bad.
Even for us.
[GROWLING.]
Time to GTFO.
[GROWLING.]
- [GROWLING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
You were right.
About what? About Lucy.
What happened was my fault.
Look, I I don't know what we're doing.
These dreams, visions, hallucinations.
It's leading us nowhere.
And I still don't know what it means.
I can't have anyone following me around until I figure it out.
So we head to Newmerica.
[CLUNK, CLUNK.]
North! Copy! North, Lieutenant.
Newmerica? Yeah, Newmerica.