Bewitched (1964) s04e08 Episode Script

The Safe and Sane Halloween

"Suddenly the steeple clock struck midnight.
As the children watched the bright bonfire three creatures seemed to jump out of the flickering flames.
The children shivered as if a cold wind had passed over them.
There was a gremlin, a goblin and a jack-o'-lantern.
" See the jack-o'-lantern? Jack-o'-lantern.
That's right.
And there's the goblin and the gremlin.
They cute? Gremlin.
Now, you lie down, and I'll finish the story.
Now, you shut your eyes.
That's a good girl.
"'I knew we shouldn't have told all those Halloween stories,' Janie wailed.
'Now those creatures have come to haunt us.
' Suddenly, Billy, who was the bravest of all the children jumped up and threw sand on the fire and the creatures disappeared.
" Sam.
"But later, when the children were safe in their cosy beds nobody was quite sure if he had seen the gremlin the goblin and the jack-o'-lantern or whether he had just imagined them.
" Sound asleep.
All it took was a little bedtime story.
Do you think it's a good idea reading to her about goblins and creatures? Oh, sweetheart, don't be silly.
She loved it.
Sam, maybe she loved it too much.
Now, darling, we agreed that Tabatha was gonna have a normal, mortal Halloween, just like any other child in the neighbourhood, didn't we? - That's right.
Well, so I just read her an ordinary little mortal Halloween story.
There's no harm.
And tomorrow night, her ordinary daddy and her Ordinary mommy are gonna take her trick-or-treating.
- Cute, huh? - Yeah.
- It'll be her first time.
- Mine too.
Oh, Mother would have a fit.
Speaking of your mother, where is she? Oh, she flew to the south of France.
She's hiding out till Halloween blows over.
Well, that makes it official.
A normal, mortal Halloween.
Ring around the rosey Pock et full of posies Ashes All fall down Ring around the rosey Pock et full of posies Ashes All fall down I wonder what she's got in those sacks.
- Gladys, get away from the window.
- Why? Because maybe somebody will throw a rock at you.
Who would want to throw a rock at me? Me, if you don't get away from the window.
Your Uncle Abner thinks he's being funny.
Funny is better than crazy.
Wanna hold that? Hold still, sweetness.
I'm not a sweetness, and I wanna go out and play.
- Abner, did you hear what I said? - No.
You know, she shouldn't be allowed out today.
They say their powers increase on Halloween.
This is a stupid costume.
Oh, no, it isn't, sweetness.
It's adorable.
I wish I had the nerve to take you over to Mrs.
Stephens and ask her if it looks real.
How would she know? Is she a witch or something? You see? Tommy has my intuition.
- I hope not.
- Why? Because one crazy person in the family is enough.
I don't wanna be a jack-o'-lantern.
I wanna be a monster.
For that, you don't need a costume.
I'm sorry about Larry spoiling our trick-or-treating.
I just couldn't help it.
Well, that's all right, dearest.
We all know business is business.
- Daddy coming? - No.
Daddy has to stay home and wait for Aunt Louise and Uncle Larry.
Remember, just ordinary trick-or-treating.
No Darrin, I am shocked.
On Halloween? This is amateur night.
Come on.
Have a good time.
Get lots of goodies.
Bye-bye.
Say bye-bye to Daddy.
- Bye, Daddy.
- Bye-bye.
My goodness! - Well, who are you? - My friends.
Well, your friends are pretty scary, sweetheart.
If I didn't know you were a goblin I would say you were little Billy Watkins.
No? Well, whoever you are, would you like to go trick-or-treating with Tabatha? Okay, let's go.
- I wanna go over there first.
- Oh, no, sweetness.
We're not going anywhere near them tonight.
I wanna go play with them.
Don't argue with Aunt Gladys, sweetness.
There.
One two, three and four.
- How's that? - Oh, my, what do you say? - Thank you.
- You're very welcome, I'm sure.
Come on, sweetheart.
Come on.
Come along, kids.
Thank you, Mrs.
Robinson.
Good night.
And good hunting, children.
Tabatha, no! No, you mustn't do that.
- They did it.
- Now, none of that, missy.
If you don't behave yourself, I'm gonna have to take you home.
Let's go, kids.
Here.
Now scat.
I thought I told you kids to beat it.
What the? How did you do that? Lady, that'll be just about enough.
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
Here's your candy.
You can have the candy.
Just get them out of here.
Now, you children go on.
Tabatha has to go home.
She's not gonna trick-or-treat anymore tonight.
Go on.
Listen, young lady.
I've gotta get you home before you psych out the entire neighbourhood.
Tabatha, I am surprised at you.
After I warned you not to do any tricks.
Not me, Mommy.
My friends.
Well, that just makes it worse.
Blaming it on other people.
All right, young lady.
You're going straight to bed.
Tabatha who are those children? My friends from the book.
Oh, my stars! Goblins and gremlins When I look You'll be off the street And back in the book Tabatha, can you get them back? Funny Mommy.
Funny Mommy, naughty Tabatha.
All right, I'll be back in just a minute with your friends.
Sam and Tabatha are out trick-or-treating.
They'll be back any minute.
Come on in, I'll fix you a drink.
Tommy.
Tommy, sweetness, wait for Aunt Gladys.
Hey, he looks just like me.
Don't give me away.
We'll play a trick on Aunt Gladys.
Oh, boy.
Will she be surprised! You mustn't run away from Aunt Gladys like that.
We're trick-or-treating together.
Come on.
My heavens, more trick-or-treaters.
We've certainly been busy tonight.
Haven't you been here before? Answer the lady, sweetness.
- Tommy's so shy.
- Well, come right on in, Tommy.
I've got a fresh chocolate cream pie that's just about ready.
Come on.
Don't give me away.
Okay.
Okay, spooks, come on.
Come on, the fun's over.
Come out of there.
Hurry up.
I'm not sure how to get you back where you belong yet but I can sure keep you out of the way until I figure it out.
I have never been so disgraced in all my life.
You are going straight home and you are going straight to bed.
I swear, I don't know what's happening with children today.
All right now, Tabatha.
You be a good little girl and put them back in the book.
If you put them back, I'll let you play with them tomorrow.
Play now.
Tabatha, you're just being stubborn and wilful.
- Is that you, honey? - Daddy.
I'll be right down.
That's okay, sweetheart.
We'll come on up.
I want Larry and Louise to see how cute Tabatha looks in her costume.
All right, now, you spooks, you behave yourself.
- Oh, Tabatha - I'm no spook.
Where did you come from? What I don't understand is how I got here.
If you're here, then the other one is - I wanna get out of here.
- That makes two of us.
I want my Aunt Gladys.
By the long arm of disaster you don't mean Aunt Gladys Kravitz that lives across the street? I sure do.
Terrific.
- Hi, Samantha.
- Hi, Sam.
- Oh, happy Halloween.
- He'll celebrate anything.
Did you have fun, sweetheart? Who do we have here? Well, this is little Tommy from across the street and those two are from out of this neighbourhood.
- Aren't they cute.
- Adorable.
And Tabatha looks just like a tiger.
Sam made the costume herself.
And who made your costume? - Aren't they cute? - I wanna go home.
Well, yes, dear.
I'll call your Aunt Gladys in just a minute.
Now, sweetheart, say good night to Aunt Louise and Uncle Larry and kiss Daddy good night.
- Good night, Tabatha.
- Night, night.
And how much would you charge to haunt a house? Sam.
Sam, what's going on? What are those things? Well, they're Sam! It would take forever to explain.
But I'll straighten everything out.
You go and take care of Larry and Louise.
- Did Tabatha? - Yes.
- Can't you? - No.
No, it's wish craft.
She wished them into being, and she's the only one that can wish them back.
- Great.
- You scoot.
- Go on.
- Yes.
Oh, Tabatha.
How could a nice little witch like you get me into a great big mess like this? All right, now, come on.
All of you.
Come on.
Hurry up, hurry up.
March.
Tommy, you take that mask off right now! You just wait till I tell your mother about this.
You just wait.
Abner! Abner! Come quick! Abner! Abner! Abner, something terrible's happened! Tommy lost his head.
Why not, his Aunt Gladys has lost her mind.
How can you eat at a time like this? I'm hungry.
Hello.
Mrs.
Kravitz? This is Mrs.
Stephens.
I was wondering did you and Tommy get home all right from trick-or-treating? What have you done to my Tommy? I don't know what you mean, Mrs.
Kravitz.
I certainly didn't have anything to do with it.
This time you've gone too far.
If my Tommy isn't back to normal immediately, I'll call the authorities.
Tommy Tommy! Abner! Abner, he's gone.
Tommy's gone.
She's got him! Good.
I hope she keeps him.
I don't know whether you understand this or not but you take one step out of this kitchen, and you'll wish you hadn't.
Well, everything's under control.
Mrs.
Kravitz is coming over to pick up Tommy and I guess I'll just have to get the other children home.
- Here you are, Larry.
- Thanks.
Dinner ought to be ready pretty soon.
I'm not a spook.
I'm just a little kid.
I wanna go home.
I'm just a little kid.
Where is he? Where is he? What have you done with him? Calm down, Mrs.
Kravitz.
Tommy! Tommy! Tommy, where are you? It's all right.
It's your Auntie Gladys.
- Where have you put him? - You know our neighbour, Mrs.
Kravitz.
Sometimes on Halloween she gets fits.
I don't know if the rest of you are peculiar too.
But this woman has stolen my nephew.
And if I don't find him, she's gonna turn him into a frog or something.
"Fits" is putting it mildly.
Would you care for a drink? No, thank you.
I just want Tommy.
Oh, now, Mrs.
Kravitz, there's nothing to worry about.
Tommy's in the kitchen.
He was wearing the same costume as one of the other children.
He got mixed up and came here by mistake.
That's all there is to it.
In the kitchen.
In the kitchen.
In the kitchen.
Tommy! Where are you? Aunt Gladys, help.
Tommy! Tommy, Tommy, darling.
What have they done to you? They turned you into a goat.
That's my nephew.
- Marvellous.
- Get away from him.
Please, Mrs Larry.
Larry! Come back here! I tell you, she turned my nephew into a goat.
Right in the kitchen.
And he won't come out.
Oh, what'll I tell my sister? You say there's a goat in there? There.
That's a goat all right.
Tommy! Tommy, come home.
I want Abner to see this.
He's a cute little kid.
Tell them.
Tell them.
This time, I have a witness.
Now Abner will believe me.
She's right.
There's a goat in the kitchen.
Don't worry, Tommy.
You won't remember a thing.
Come on.
Hi, Aunt Gladys.
Tabatha, now, please listen.
I know what a wonderful feeling it is to be part of the magical life.
But you have to understand that we're living in a world that isn't quite ready for us yet.
I'm afraid they may never be.
I'm going to have to be very firm with you and insist that you wish your friends back into this book.
It's very important to Daddy.
- Daddy? - Yes.
Gremlin home.
Goblin home.
They're home.
- That's a good girl.
- Yes.
Tommy, sweetness.
Tell them you were a goat, with horns and whiskers.
- Tell them there was a goat.
- I didn't see any goat.
- But you said - I was just trying to be polite.
Well, I sent the other children home.
I guess I'd better get started with dinner.
I wanna go home.
Yes, Tommy.
Let's go home.
And I'll have some of my medicine.
Hey, there's that little jack-o'-lantern kid again.
And I think you've had enough of your medicine.
There's nothing like a nice, normal, quiet, mortal Halloween.
Honey, I'm sorry.
Well, at least Louise is happy.
Larry's on the wagon.
Look at this.
There's a grizzly bear loose in this house.
Wait a minute.
Not quite.
Oh, no.
No.
Let her keep it.
At least it's a step in the right direction.

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