Comic Book Men s04e08 Episode Script

[Horn honking.]
Hey, man, I was wondering what you guys think your Western cowboy name would be.
Need, like, a badass name though, right? - Yeah, yeah.
- How about dragon fang? - Ooh, that's good.
- I could be dragon fang? The dragon fang kid.
I'd mosey up to a saloon.
- Yeah, you got chaps on.
- Yeah.
And pants under the chaps.
Yes.
- Very important.
- You got your leather vest on.
Yeah, I got my six-shooters.
Got your six-shooters.
- Those are your dragon fangs.
- Right.
- Is he wearing a cowboy hat? - Yeah, I guess so.
But it's pulled down so low, like, it's too big.
He has to put holes on the outside of it, so he's looking out through.
It's like the fat Albert version of the ten-gallon hat.
[Laughter.]
All right, what's your moniker? I don't know.
Let me think.
Kid confusion.
Yeah.
- The confusion kid.
- Yeah.
There you go.
He comes in, and he bellies up to the bar, and he's like, "hey, how about the two Darrins On Bewitched?" Be like [Laughter.]
"Did you hear about kid confusion? He wasted an entire town by boring them to death.
" [Laughter.]
[Heroic music.]
[Roars.]
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Comic Book Men, the only show that joined the mile-high club in the invisible jet.
I'm Kevin Smith - Bryan Johnson - Walt Flanagan.
- I'm Mike Zapcic - Ming Chen Okay, what's going on in the front lines of hard-core, heavy-duty comic book retail? Last week, a real piece of comic book history came through the doors.
- Hey, how you doing? - Hey, guys.
I got some comic book history that I guarantee you've never seen before.
This is the program for the super DC Con '76, which was a DC Comics convention in honor of Superman's birthday.
This was in the early days of conventions.
A lot of the pioneers of the comic book industry were there, and I got a lot of their autographs, and it's on the back page.
- You got to check this out.
- Can I see it? - Sure.
- Can I open it up? Yeah.
All right.
Holy mackerel.
Bob Kane, Neal Adams, Jerry Robinson.
Who Drew the little Batman? - Jerry Robinson.
- It was Jerry Robinson? - Holy mackerel.
- Oh, my God.
Jerry Siegel, Joe Shuster.
Amazing.
Are you saying that you actually walked in and got all these autographs? I was there.
Here's my badge.
Look how pristine the badge is.
This looks like it was just printed today.
Kids, if you don't know those names, get out of here, man, 'cause - I'm out.
- You can sit back down.
Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster are the co-creators of perhaps the most well-known fictional character in all of history, I would say: Superman.
You could easily say that, thousands of years from now, Superman is gonna go down as mythology.
Yeah, religion for some at this table.
[Laughter.]
Do you have any idea that the men who built the foundation of DC Comics were at this Con? I knew that Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster were there, because they were sort of the guests of honor.
This was around the time when they had reached the settlement with Warner brothers, if you know that backstory.
- Mm-hmm.
- And what story? What's that? Siegel and Shuster were essentially penniless when the Superman movie was starting to come out.
Oh, my God.
That's lunacy.
You know, when they created the character of Superman for action comics number 1, it was taken as a work-for-hire job, so Jerry and Joe created him and gave him away for almost next to nothing, so Neal Adams and a lot of other creators got together.
It was right before the Superman movie came out.
They literally had to shame Warner brothers into like, "you're releasing a movie about this character "that these two guys created, "and you guys won't even give them credit? Do them right," and they did.
Warner brothers flipped the script, started putting Jerry and Joe's name on everything, got them paid.
They made money toward the end of their lives and whatnot, so there was a bit of giving back, but those dudes, for everything they gave the world, never got enough back as far as I'm concerned.
Well, I got to ask, man, why are you bringing it in today? I could use the money.
It's history, um It sure is.
It's valuable.
So what are you looking to get for it? I'm looking at $5,000.
And you can just run your fingers over this and just feel the energy come out.
I mean, they're talking to you.
Do you feel it? They're telling me that's a little bit too high to pay.
This is not your run-of-the-mill autograph page.
I I'm not gonna disagree with you.
This is I mean, these are the original Comic Book Men.
It is a one-of-a-kind piece.
Unfortunately, there's no way we could move this for anything over $5,000, and, I mean, in theory, you could get $5,000 for it if you took it to auction, which is probably your best bet for this.
They'll have the resources to have all of these authenticated, and who knows, you could make more than $5,000.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Mike's right, and you're right.
It pains me to say it.
I'd love to have it and put it on display here at the stash.
It would be it would be like putting the declaration of independence behind us, but, I mean, I can't thank you enough for bringing it in here and showing it to us, man.
- Oh, my God.
It's awesome.
- It made our day.
It made our week if not our month.
Well, I'm gonna let you stare at it for a couple more minutes.
I'm just gonna suck up some more of that energy.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, Ming.
This is can't even reach.
- Give me some of that energy.
- All right, go ahead.
- Go ahead.
- Feel inspired? Yeah, it feels good.
All right, thanks, man.
We got comics.
Ghostbusters number 16.
You may be able to get it signed by, um, Mr.
Ernie Hudson, who happens to be right up there.
Batman Incorporated? Mm, give me about 12.
- Hey, Walt.
- Ernie.
What's up? What's up, man? So glad you could make it, man.
- Yeah.
- Good to see you.
How you doing? Good to see you.
- Hi.
- All right.
I told you he'd show.
This place is amazing.
I am so excited that, you know, you saw potential in my idea of taking comics to the kids on the streets.
- Yeah.
- You saw it, man.
Last year, I ran into Ernie Hudson at a Con I was at.
Ghostbusters' Ernie Hudson? Really? Yep.
Rubbing elbows with one of the O.
G.
Ghostbusters? Yeah, and I told him about my business opportunity.
It involves comics, of course, and an ice cream truck.
Oh, good lord.
I've heard this idea.
[Laughter.]
So where's the truck? You didn't see it when you came in? It's out front, right up front.
It's all ready to roll, man.
- It's all decked out.
- You couldn't have missed it.
Yeah, well, that that's an ice cream truck.
Yes, it is an ice cream truck.
It's my pied Piper theory.
Okay, I'm still trying to make that connection, but remember how the pied Piper, he went through town, you know, on his little flute, all the rats were following him? Okay, all right, it's okay, you you see it.
- It's your vision.
- Yes.
I'm here to help you trick kids? [Laughter.]
He told you guys about this, right? - You guys are - Oh, yeah.
- We're in on it.
- All right.
Okay, well, let's give it a shot, man; I'm here.
First we got to get into our comic car uniforms.
A uniform? Damn, you look good, man.
All right, right this way.
This is the comic car 1.
Disregard, if you would, the pictures of the ice cream.
This is the beauty that's gonna change the face of how people buy comics.
[Engine turning over.]
Think this is our spot, Ernie.
Good feeling about this one.
Well, it looks pretty good.
So we find the perfect spot in red bank, and we park, and we wait for kids to come running.
Kids are preconditioned when they hear that music, that universally beloved jingle.
They know to come running for ice cream.
[Laughter.]
You thought you were getting ice cream.
You're getting a comic book.
Read.
It's good for you.
All right, it's on.
- How you guys doing? - Hello.
Good.
Hi, I'll have the rainbow sprinkle cone.
Oh, sorry, guys, no ice cream today.
What do you mean you don't have ice cream? Don't despair.
We got comics.
Got a Cryptozoic Man number 1 and number 3.
We got some bionic mans written by Kevin Smith.
And the special today don't want to forget about the special of the day Ghostbusters number 16.
Now, I got a pretty good feeling you may be able to get it signed by, um, Mr.
Ernie Hudson, who happens to be right up there.
- Did you see Ghostbusters? - Yeah.
You remember Winston in Ghostbusters? I think so.
I'm not sure.
She's not sure.
These guys were very into the Ghostbusters aspect.
I've always viewed him more of as warden Glen from oz on hbo.
He was the warden in oz? Not only was he the warden, but he was on every single episode, and, like, solid, solid performance, which people don't remember him for.
They remember him for the Ghostbusters thing.
Naturally Ghostbusters tops the list, but I also think of him as the guy from the hand that rocks the cradle, where he was awesome.
He had played a real character part, and he was also in the crow? Yeah, he was in the crow.
He played the cop opposite Brandon Lee.
Could you imagine you're in films that people are still watching today decades after they were made, Ghostbusters, the hand that rocks the cradle, the crow? You'd be lucky to be in one movie that people remember for the rest of their life, man, but, like, three? That's awesome.
You got a customer.
- Oh, hey, how you doing? - Good, how are you? Can I please have the, uh Cartwheel's ice cream sandwich please? You know, we uh we don't have any ice cream.
- Oh.
- No, but what we do have show him the menu.
We have we have comics.
Comics, see? You like comics? Uh, no, not really.
- You sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
- Ghostbusters? - Yeah, I'm good.
- No? Winston Zeddemore? - What? Winston Zeddemore? Ghostbusters? You don't who's that? Let's go.
Never mind, sorry.
Hey, guys.
I got some cool stuff here.
Oh, I know what these are.
Wow, these are awesome.
A boy wanted to know.
As a guy who busted ghosts, are you a believer, Ernie? Do you believe in ghosts? Do I believe in ghosts? Well, yeah, I believe something exists beyond what we see, you know? It's like, you know, say there are a million different dimensions and senses, and we only have five to experience it.
So if it's not in the realm of our senses, it doesn't exist as far as we're concerned, but it does, so yeah, I do.
That's deep.
But I don't want it showing up in my bedroom at 3:00 in the morning.
- Yeah.
- This is awesome.
So yeah, no, it's cool, but, you know, my character says, "if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say," so I got to believe we're gonna sell some comics.
[Laughs.]
- Hey, how you doing? - Hey, guys.
- I got some cool stuff here.
- Oh, I know what these are.
I heard you guys like to take bubble baths, so Nothing wrong with that, right? Couple guys relaxing in a bathtub.
A standard-size bathtub, three to four guys.
[Laughter.]
These are called Soakies, and they're from 1966.
They were filled with bubble bath, so the kid could have fun in the tub and enjoy their favorite character.
We have Rocket J.
Squirrel, Bullwinkle J.
Moose, secret squirrel, and, of course, the man of steel, Superman.
Wow, these are awesome.
Any bubble bath memories for you? Uh, some very unpleasant ones, yeah.
I'd rather not get into it.
Razors, Soakies.
More of "floaties," they called them.
[Laughter.]
It's like, "that's not a bath toy.
" Maybe not in your world.
So they had these, like, at the drugstore, and you just pick them up, and Yeah.
Grocery store, yeah, these were huge at one time, right? You'd open up the head can I open it up? Yeah, sure.
Get in the bathtub, you and Superman, dump out a little bubble bath, put the head back on, wait for the bubbles to form, and let the action begin.
They had the Beatles, and they also had the universal monsters.
I mean, as a boy, I mean, who didn't want to take a bath with the universal monsters? I mean, that would have just been were you a big bubble bath guy? He was a big bubble bath guy.
- Really? - Yeah.
Like, you know, soaking in the tub, like what, was it, like, seventh, eighth grade he called my house? And my mom made the mistake of saying, "oh, Walt's busy right now; He's taking a bath.
" And from that day on, if I wasn't in his presence, he assumed I was in a bathtub.
He's all like, "Calgon, take me away.
" [Laughter.]
So many great memories of bathtub time.
Braggart.
[Laughter.]
Just splash around like Richie rich in a tub.
- Remember Soakies? - No.
I was never allowed to do that, because one time, a Weeble got wet, and the paper inside the Weeble crumpled, so from that moment forward I was never allowed to take a toy into the tub, so in the tub, I would just sit there and study myself, like, self-loathingly, like, "why am I floating so much? I'm like butter in the tub.
" [Laughter.]
So you're looking to sell them today? Yeah.
What are you looking to get for them? I think for the lot of them maybe 300 bucks.
Rocky and bullwinkle, they're cool and all, but if I'm gonna carry a Soakie in the stash, it's got to be this guy.
You know, and it's Superman's world.
- We're just living it.
- Yes.
So you disappoint the dude by saying you only want Superman? Yes.
He disappoints us all, because he starts disrobing.
[Laughter.]
Very excited to take a bath with this thing.
Yeah, I figured if I'm gonna go after one Soakie, it's got to be Superman.
I could probably flip him a lot easier than the other three.
All of this sounds so filthy the way you put it.
Soakie Superman gets flipped and whatnot.
In a bathtub.
[Laughter.]
Well, how much would you ask for just Superman? - $75.
- 75 bucks, huh? But you have to remember it's Superman, which is, you know, is a hot character.
Would you take 50 for it? What do you think? Should I take 50 for it? Of course you should.
[Laughter.]
- Sure.
- Yeah? Got a deal? - Yeah.
- I'm a great negotiator.
Thanks, man.
Thanks for bringing them in.
- Enjoy it.
- I will, man.
Now you'll know what he's doing at night.
- Believe me, he already knows.
- I don't want to know.
Does that bring back memories? I got to say, yeah, man, some good memories, man.
I mean, that's where, my imagination really came out I think, and that that's what I'm picturing in my head.
You're 13 and with bubbles.
"While I was nude with Superman in the tub.
" [Laughter.]
Anthony, you can't have the banana boat.
- You know why? - Why? 'Cause I got something better for you, something special for you, Anthony.
Nice choice, Ern.
Yeah, I think this is the spot.
To be honest, the the initial parking spot that we picked wasn't as lucrative as I would have hoped, so I quickly said we had to find a new parking spot and went to the park, and we just see the kids come a-running like mice to the pied Piper.
I saw them as rodents.
[Laughter.]
Hey, guys.
So what can I get you? Um, rainbow sprinkle cone.
Um, can I have the chocolate sundae? Could I have the chocolate milk shake? Well, actually you can't, because, well, we don't have any ice cream, - but you know what we do have? - What.
We have comics, really cool comics.
Check this out.
Ming, three Ghostbusters.
You got it.
Ghostbusters 30th anniversary edition.
It is, like, so cool.
You guys know Ghostbusters, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah, it's really good.
What's your favorite character? - Say, "Winston.
" - Winston.
- Winston.
- That's Winston.
That's the driver of Ecto-1.
"Keep on busting.
" There.
Okay, baby.
All right, guys, have fun with your comics.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Huh? - See? Told you, man.
I can sell comics.
- What's your name? - Anthony.
Anthony, you can't have the banana boat.
- You know why? - Why? 'Cause I got something better for you, something special for you, Anthony.
How about we get the Green Hornet? Excellent choice, mom.
Green Hornet, please.
- Move.
- You move.
Cryptozoic Man.
You hip to Cryptozoic Man? Just point to the one you want.
Green Hornet number 1.
Excellent choice, my man, excellent choice.
- Do you want Cryptozoic Man? - Yeah.
Cryptozoic Man.
All right, that'll be $4, mom.
Here you go, bud.
Mike, three Ghostbusters.
Oh, I loved Ghostbusters.
You were awesome.
Thank you.
Tell all your friends about comic car 1.
Okay.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Have you ever sold comics before? Boy, you are a natural.
I never sold comics before.
I never thought I'd have to.
[Laughter.]
We didn't conquer the world, but the world heard our war cry that day.
The world heard your war cry, and it was the tinkling of an ice cream truck that had no ice cream in it, but instead, comic books.
And the weapons were lies.
[Laughter.]
Mike, what are we looking at? How much did we make? Well, when you factor in the cost of the comics, the uniforms, the truck rental - Right.
- Uh, we've got a profit of $17.
Yes, right? What a day, huh? Not a lot of businesses can say on day one they turn a profit.
It takes years for some places to turn a profit, right? Yeah, that's true, but you know what? I think it's about it for me, man.
I can't, uh I can't really work on $17 a day, so it's not all yours.
Oh, sorry.
Well, then what is my share in that $17? What's 17 divided by 5? $3.
25.
$3.
25.
Okay, all right.
That's about as much as I made on the first Ghostbusters.
Um, so anyway, yeah.
No, it's been fun, guys, and You're out? Yeah, yeah, you hang on to your idea though, you know, and kids really do need to read more, so I really wish you well with it, but I think I'm gonna call it a day.
- Good luck.
Have fun.
- Thank you.
All right, see you guys later.
- Appreciate it.
- All right, see you later.
You had this dream.
You always wanted to try it.
You did it.
You know it works.
It helped that you had a celebrity at the wheel, but if it's something you ever want to think about pursuing in the future, you know it's viable now, a comic bookmobile.
And there it is.
We close the book on another chapter of the great book of Comic Book Men, man.
I'm Kevin Smith - Bryan Johnson - Walt Flanagan - Mike Zapcic - Ming Chen.
If there's something strange in your neighborhood Who you gonna call? Comic Book Men