Dawn of the Croods (2015) s04e08 Episode Script

1 Okay, let's see.
I will marry Kevin, live in a tree, work as a bonker, and eat only pigrats? Ew! Gross! Ow! I said, eating you would be gross! Don't make me reconsider! [gasps.]
A love note? [giggles.]
For me? "I love the sound of your laugh" [chuckles.]
Aw! "because it reminds me of a dying chickuna"? Wait, what? That doesn't sound like me.
[chirping, laughing.]
[sighs.]
That sounds like you! Who's sending you love notes? No offense.
But, come on, you? Again, no offense.
Oh, uh [chuckles.]
You don't know her.
She's from a different valley.
Definitely does not have a tail.
[growls.]
- Ooh-hoo-hoo! - [spurts.]
[Eep.]
Gotcha! [laughs.]
Huh? Blurg Brood?! Of course, it's Blurg Brood! The cavegirl of my dreams.
Thunk, we have been over this! Blurg is not to be trusted.
Her family tried to kill us.
Many times.
You're wrong about Blurg.
Under her hard exterior is a kind, creative heart.
And also a skeleton and whatever tails are made of.
Now, if you'll excuse me, back to practicing my smooches.
Mmm I can't let Thunk date Blurg! Literally, any other girl in the valley would be better for Thunk.
[laughs.]
Hi, every other girl in the valley! [chuckles.]
I'd like to tell you about an exciting opportunity to date the most eligible caveboy in my family, Thunk Crood! Nobody? Not even you, Dee? Oh, oh! Like you're so great! You never even talk! Hmm [gobbling.]
Wha? Me? No, no, no.
Thunk's a class act, but I don't go for the "creative" types.
Well, you know, if it works out, you and I will be sisters.
- And I'm in! - [laughs.]
Great! After all, it shouldn't be too hard to change Thunk's mind.
How in love with Blurg can he be? Blurg Brood, girl of my dreams She bludgeons my heart And, oh, how it screams Thunk Crood, he's one of a kind The cutest boy without a tail That I could find I miss his face when we're apart I adore her Wait.
[grunts.]
Fart.
- She's my very special someone - He's my very special someone - My adorable - My adorable - Blurg - Thunk - [sighs.]
- [cheering.]
Oh! Okay, his weird daydream fantasy is done.
Now, remember, flaunt it.
- [grunts.]
- Huh? [moans.]
[gags.]
My hair is looking fine today.
Don't you think? Eh.
Sure, it's hair.
[giggles.]
Don't blow our chance, "sister.
" [gasps.]
I'm just gonna get right down to it.
You are a boy, and I'm a girl.
Forget that our bodies are screaming, "This feels wrong!" And just let's just stare dreamily into each other's eyes, huh? Mmm! [squeaking.]
Sorry, Eep.
Thunk just isn't picking up what the Lerkodile is puttin' down.
[chortling.]
[sighs.]
[Thunk.]
Hmm.
Mold spice.
[sniffing.]
[coughs.]
Eh.
Maybe a little more.
Psst! New chew toy.
Hey, Thunk! Getting ready for your doom I mean, date? [chuckles.]
You'd better get dressed.
Aw, man, my pelt! Bare midriffs are so last season.
Oh, no! I guess you have to cancel your date.
Or just stay here and stand Blurg up.
That works too.
Oh, no, I'm fine.
Blurg likes me for who I am.
[sighs.]
- [humming.]
- [growls.]
Yeah, easy prey.
Croods cannot trust Broods! Broods? Where? No Broods here, Dad.
But Thunk is going on a date with one.
Blurg! My son's dating a Brood? And you're just telling me now? And there's nothing we can do about it? Actually, we can do something.
Whew! Lead with that next time.
Ugh! [sighs.]
[Blurg sighs.]
Wow.
- Your hands are so sweaty.
- Thanks! - [squishes.]
- There.
Now, yours are sweaty, too.
[sighs.]
Oh-hh! [moans.]
Mmm Gross! Imagine if the valley knew my son was swapping sweat with a Brood! Yeah! And who knows what the Broods are planning? A bait and switch? Snatch and grab? Tickle and mind control? Yeah gee, you really know your evil plots.
- You sure you're not one of the - [gasps.]
Broods.
Aha! I knew you Broods were up to something! Eep! That's a bush.
Sorry.
My sister's the "weird one" in the family.
Uh-huh.
Us? Oh, we're only here to stop Blurg's latest act of rebellion.
Mom? Get out of here! - We're about to smooch! - [gasps.]
We were? Keep Blurg away from my brother! Oh! We will be getting far away from the likes of you! Well, we'll get even farther from you! What? That doesn't even make sense.
Blurg and Thunk left a while ago.
- Wha? - Seriously, Frump? [yelling.]
This is all your fault! I don't care whose fault it is because I know it's the Broods'.
Let's just find them before anyone else sees them together.
Fine.
I'm willing to swallow my pride and work together.
Now, where would your smelly excuse for a brother take my beautiful Blurg? Oh! He doesn't smell! No, no.
Even I can't argue with that.
[humming.]
Huh.
Thunk loves to come here and watch the dance of the butterhummers.
Dancing butterhummers? Pshah! Our Blurg eats butterhummers for breakfast, just like her mom.
- [loud belch.]
- [humming.]
Oops.
Shoulda chewed that one more.
- [pops.]
- [gasps.]
Frump, can you not sink into the tar? [gasps.]
Whoa.
This place nearly killed me.
So cool! Hmm.
Maybe Thunk's not a total wimp.
Of course not.
He's a Crood.
Hmm.
If they're not here, where would Blurg take him? This is where my Blurg comes to relax, by smashing things.
Maybe we can get a better view up here.
[grunts.]
Whoa.
She made art.
[chuckles.]
And it's kind of beautiful.
Ugh! Yeah, it's probably just part of her cover.
You better find my daughter before dark! [grunts.]
Or else I'll lose interest! At least, in the dark, no one will see my son and your hairy beast daughter together! [gasps.]
[growls.]
Agh! Stop it! We don't have time for this! It's a big valley.
They could be anywhere.
[Frump.]
You mean, like, Old People Island? Where they said they were going? "We're running away to Old People Island!" [all.]
Seriously, Frump? Old People Island! Where the food is all mushy, but no one will ever come between us! Yeah! Wait, the food's all mushy? Oh, well, I'm already in this.
Oh, Thunk.
Would a Crood by any other name be as sweet? Mm, probably.
"Thunk Brood" does have a nice ring to it.
- [Eep.]
No! - [Trixie.]
You're no Brood! Thunk! Step away from the monkey girl! No offense, monkey girl.
Thunk's not going anywhere! I'll say.
No potential, that Oh, you mean physically? If you won't approve of us, we're going to Old People Island, where we can grow old together.
[splashes.]
Nope.
Not buyin' it.
Blurg's up to something.
I know it! Just what are you accusing my daughter of? Just what are you accusing my daughter of accusing you of? Now, I'm lonely.
[all grunt.]
[all.]
Seriously, Frump? [squeaking.]
[gasping.]
[gasping.]
[grunting.]
[sizzling.]
[growls.]
I hate you Broods more than ever right now, - but we do have to work together.
- [grunts.]
Everybody, human vine formation! [grunts.]
- [grunts.]
- [Eep yelps.]
Thunk, grab my hand! I'll slip! My hands are too sweaty! It's true! They're the sweatiest! - It's usually adorable.
- [gasps.]
[screams.]
[grunts.]
Oh! Thunk! Grab Blurg's hand instead! Eh? Uh! Wha? [grunts.]
[grunting.]
Eep, trust me! You can trust her! [growls.]
[grunting.]
[yelling.]
Sorry I doubted you, Blurg.
And that I ruined your date.
Ah, it's okay.
You had your reasons.
I did try to kill you before.
And I'll do it again if you come between me and my man! [sighs.]
Aw-ww! Thunk and Blurg against the world! Turns out, we Broods and Croods can work together and not use the monkhuahua assassin we had trailing you all day! [laughs.]
Who'd a'thought? [yells.]
Stand down, Mr.
Kills-a-lot! Ah, num [gasps.]
Ugh! [sighs, munching.]
Okay, death monkey, not cool.
But guess it's not so bad to be seen with a Brood.
Thanks for saving my tail back there [chuckles.]
figuratively.
- Anytime, Thunky-poo.
- [Eep.]
Nope! [grunts.]
Too far! [slak shell droning.]
[snarls.]
Ah, Snoot.
At least he sounds like he's in pain.
No, he's not.
[droning continues.]
But he will be! Ugga, as your husband, I support your rage against Snoot.
But as leader the guy responsible for any rage-fueled valley bust-ups I say husband Grug is wrong.
No, no.
We have had to deal with Snoot's obnoxious antics far too long.
Stealing our news-slate every morning! Ooh! Trashing our home! [rumbles.]
- Whoa! - [squishes.]
Ooh, so close! And now, those stupid slak-pipes! You know, you should try talking to him first.
[growls.]
That's leader Grug talking, not husband Grug.
Fine, but I can't promise I won't bonk him.
Leader Grug says, "Please do not bonk him.
" Husband Grug says, "No witnesses.
" [droning resumes.]
Your slak-pipes woke me up.
Ooh, sorry.
I know you need your sleep to help you escape the nightmare that is your waking life.
That's right.
It is a nightmare having you as a neighbor.
Could you please knock it off? No, but I could teach you to appreciate my music.
The key is hearing the screeches I don't play.
[honks.]
[shrieks.]
[droning stops.]
Enough! I am done putting up with you! Of all the neighbors I coulda had, I got stuck with the most selfish jerk in Ahhh! Valley! No, you've been blessed with the most selfish jerk I mean [droning resumes.]
- [buzzing.]
- [Ugga yelps.]
[growls.]
[droning continues.]
So, how did talking go? Great! I decided I'm gonna make him move out of his cave forever.
But how? [humming.]
Don't hold out on me, husband Grug.
Leader Grug doesn't need to know.
[grunting.]
Okay! There was always this one idea I had on how to get rid of smug Snoot's smug face once and for-smuggin'-all.
Doomsday skunkguin.
One toot from that little guy will make Snoot's cave unlivable for a hundred seasons! [chuckles.]
But getting it is near impossible.
It lives down the Hole of No Return.
That hole where you dump things you never want to return? It's deep in the bad side of the valley, where you do not want to get stuck after dark.
Which is why leader Grug cannot condone it.
But, as husband Grug? - I can only distract him for a moment.
- A doomsday skunkguin? Uh, we meant "doomsday" in a good way.
Is that our food? Slak-piping makes me very hungry.
[gulps.]
Also, you really need more food.
And there goes my guilt.
Goodbye, Snoot! Hello, doomsday skunkguin! [Snoot.]
Not if I get there first! Well, Sandy, it's just you and me today, but I got fun plans for us! [laughs.]
I'm gonna spend the day lecturin' ya about everything that's wrong with your generation! [groans.]
And don't get me started on all those fancy-schmancy new names.
Ugh! Whatever happened to classics, like Pebbles and Bam [gasps.]
Ooh! Ugh! Dang it! Guess my back's mad at your generation, too.
Could you give me a hand or a mouth? [sighs.]
[grunts.]
Finally bit the dust, huh? Well, she will be missed.
I ain't dead yet, ya hairball! I just can't move.
Hmm! Looks like you got lots of anger in them bones.
- They're screamin' for some "yo-gahh!" - Yo-wha? It's where you stretch your body in uncomfortable poses until you scream, like so.
[inhales.]
[screams.]
Ah-hh I'm good being dragged through the dirt.
Sandy? [grunts.]
[screaming.]
[laughing.]
Well, I guess it's either that or be pecked to death by this fella.
Fine, but don't go anywhere in case I change my mind.
Why do you even want to live in Ahhh! Valley? You don't even like anyone besides yourself! I like my family, occasionally! [grunting.]
Ooh! [grunts.]
[whimpers.]
Agh! [growls.]
[squawks.]
[squawking.]
Yah-hh! [clucks, snaps.]
[angry clucking.]
[grunting.]
Whew! What are we doing? This is no way to treat each other.
Maybe we should try to talk this out.
Well, I do like listening to myself talk.
Hah! Oh! [spits.]
[grunts.]
[yelps.]
[knuckles crack.]
[gasps.]
Doomsday skunkguin! Oh-hh! You're a cute little weapon of mass stinkage, aren't ya? Whoa, whoa, whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Save it for Snoot's cave.
And, to be safe Better go.
It's getting late.
[trumpeting.]
[rumbles.]
Ew.
What's got into them? [claws snapping.]
[squawking.]
[clucking.]
[snapping.]
[clucking.]
[snapping.]
[trumpeting.]
[Old Man Root groaning.]
[screaming.]
[grunting.]
[screaming.]
- [Gran.]
Oh! - [Sandy sighs.]
Ya know, this wasn't such a dumb idea, despite it being yours.
[chuckles.]
Well, that's what I love to hear.
Anyhoo, that brings us to an end.
No more stay.
But yo-gahh! feels so good! So, yo-gotta gimme some more! No can do.
You did all the beginner poses, and you ain't ready for the next level.
Okay, I respect your expertise.
Yoink! Time to get crackin'! The Unbonking Rock.
Punctual Ramu.
Tyrannaconda Twist! - [grunts.]
- [gasping.]
What? What's wrong? [gurgling.]
[coos.]
[panting.]
[gasps.]
[clucking.]
[sighs, yelps.]
This is my log! You go out there, and well, I can't be held responsible for what happens.
Typical selfish Snoot.
If anyone should go out there, it's you! What? This is the thanks I get for driving away those bear owls from your cave with my trash balls? [yawns.]
[rumbles.]
- Whoa! - [growls.]
Ooh, so close! Pshh-hh! And you expect me to believe that? Um, yeah, there was a flashback! Now, about you exiting my log to let nature take its course [grunts.]
Juggaliyotes! [cackling.]
[yelling.]
[Snoot yelling.]
[Ugga grunts.]
[Snoot wails.]
[Ugga.]
Ugh-hh! [Ugga grunts.]
[gasps.]
- Help me up! - Throw me the skunkguin! Oh, you'd like that.
So you could steal it just like you steal my news-slate every morning? Your news-slate? You mean, my news-slate that somehow always gets delivered to your cave! Huh? Well, that would explain why we get it for free.
[grumbling, growling.]
[snarling, clucking.]
Maybe they'll all fight each other? [squealing.]
Nope.
[bangs.]
[yelping.]
I said, you ain't ready.
Wait, am I talking to your face or your butt? Oh! I'd shake my fist at ya if I could find it in these folds.
[Gran yells.]
[grunts.]
Hey, careful! Why, I oughta [grunts.]
Oh, wait.
Do that again.
Make me mad.
What? But I wouldn't know how.
I'm a peace-lovin' dude.
[grunts.]
Yeah, like that! Talk more about being a dumb tree-hugger! Hey, trees are our friends.
They're great listeners.
No judgment.
Plus, they provide homes to all my bird buddies, who have beautiful feathers, every color of the rainbow.
Yeah, yeah! [laughs.]
Ya did it, ya glorious idiot! I'm back to normal! [laughs.]
Uh missed a spot.
Trust me, this is an improvement.
[banging.]
One of us should really sacrifice herself for the other.
Ugh.
Fine.
Guess it's up to me to save us, on account of you being worthless and me having no other options.
[honking.]
[screeching.]
- Are you trying to annoy them away? - Sort of! [honking.]
This is a new form of [honks.]
animal intimidation I've been developing.
[honking.]
And it's about to save your life.
[honking.]
Don't just stand there reevaluating me! Run! [grunts.]
[honking continues.]
- [gasps.]
- [grunting.]
Snoot, no! [snarling.]
[chomps, growls.]
[animals screeching.]
Ugga! And Snoot.
I'm so glad you two stopped and talked things out before [sniffing.]
Uh-oh! Never mind.
Doomsday skunkquin was definitely involved.
Yeah, we didn't learn our lesson in time, but I did learn Snoot is actually not a terrible neighbor.
Not good, just not terrible.
And I learned nothing.