Footballers' Wives (2002) s04e08 Episode Script

And I'm really glad I decided not to go abroad.
Or I wouldn't have met you.
- You can't just pass the buck, Boss! - lf I ever hear you spouting shit like that - This is behind closed doors.
- Yeah? Well, so is this.
Oi! Lucy, you're my friend.
- What if Bruno finds out you're having an affair? - I'm not.
How many times do I have to tell you? I thought I made myself clear.
If you've got some sort of crush or whatever, it's got to stop.
You're telling me you got the whole squad together behind Webbsie's back? He won't listen to us so they asked me to come to you.
What now? Recognise these? - Of course I was there.
I'm trying to tell you - Save it.
We got clients.
Lucy! What are you doing here? This is Cocoon, this is our club.
You can't be here.
What a coincidence.
A colleague of mine suggested it.
You'd better go.
- Is there a problem? - Not at all.
This gentleman was just complimenting us on our menu.
It's a great place you've got here.
Thanks.
It's taken time and effort.
And we've had a few ups and downs.
It's been worth it in the end.
You should mingle.
Listen, I've obviously been stood up, I better be going.
But thanks for your hospitality.
I'll definitely be coming back.
No, you won't.
You're barred.
- What? - You heard.
I don't like people eyeing up my wife.
- I assure you - So I think you should leave before I get security or do the job myself.
He was just being friendly.
I'm not surprised when you're giving him the come-on.
This is a classy establishment, Lucy, and you're hosting it like some cheap tart.
ROGER: Come on, Jackie, you know I would never do anything like that.
No, Roger, I don't.
And if I did, I wouldn't be so stupid as to leave my bloody pants behind.
Oh, that's supposed to make me trust you, is it? Knowing you're a clever cheat.
Yes.
No, I mean, look This just doesn't add up, sweetheart.
I haven't done anything and I'm not going to.
Christ, you know, with all the other shit that's flying around at the moment, I could do with a bit of support here, not, you know, accusations.
What am I supposed to think? You know, there are always going to be nutters out there that do this sort of thing.
I love you and I'd never do anything to hurt us.
Well, I wish you'd tell me more often.
Come here.
Ahem.
Don't mind me.
Look, I'm going up to bed.
I'll see you up there in a minute, yeah? - You two made up, then? - Looks that way.
You know, you're perfect for him.
He goes off and shags some groupie and you just wait for him to come back and wipe his feet on you.
You don't deserve that.
It's not like that.
Not that it's any of your business.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
What do you fancy for dinner tonight? Thought I'd do something a bit special.
What's the occasion? Does there have to be one? I just feel like making a fuss of you.
Surprise me.
As long as there's steak and chips involved, I'll be happy.
I think I can manage that.
It's a bit short, innit? - Don't you like it? - Be all right on a 20-year-old.
Don't know why you feel the need to advertise your goods like that.
They're not for sale.
I don't.
No? So I suppose that bloke in the club last night was after you for your brain, was he? What bloke? Oh, him.
Just 'cause you fancy me doesn't mean everyone else does.
I don't like being made to look like a fool.
Bruno, I haven't done anything.
Good.
Then there's nothing to worry about, then.
Cheers, love.
- You okay? - Yeah, like I told you yesterday, I'm fine.
You don't really look it.
Look, I'll be all right.
I'm just tired, that's all.
- Right, you ready for some work, then? - Yeah, I'm taking my own car.
Fair enough.
Not exactly a great day to be seen with me, is it? I was hoping you hadn't read that.
I've read worse things about myself.
Comes with the territory.
- Yeah, well, you give them what for, yeah? - Yeah.
I'll be here when you get back.
Yes, you will.
And please, put some clothes on before you go out.
Ha-ha.
(Mobile ringing) Hello.
Giles, listen, it's really not good to ring before 11:00.
No, it's fine now but just in future.
It's good to talk to you, too.
Look, I'm sorry about last night.
I couldn't believe you were there myself.
Talk about coincidence.
Oh, I'm sure I could squeeze you in for an hour or so.
Yeah, lunch sounds great, but I turn into a pumpkin at 2:00, though.
(Bhangra Bootie playing on car radio) (On radio) Right, Foxy here with Amber Gates and Bhangra Bootie, open brackets, West End Lady.
Now, I wouldn't mind betting that that lady is gonna make the top 10 this Sunday.
See, the critics were wrong.
And it's getting lots of airplay, so it's good.
Well done, babe.
I'm so proud of you.
AMBER: I wouldn't mind betting his days are numbered.
Suppose he's got to come in to get sacked, hasn't he? Half the team and the whole of Fleet Street have been telling Hazel what a knobhead he is.
So, fingers crossed, eh? - Hey, welcome back.
- Cheers, Boss.
You are gonna have to hit the ground running, we're playing catch-up already.
- I'm up for that.
- You better be.
All right, Har.
All right.
Listen, Harley, I don't expect you to be me best mate.
Okay, I screwed up, big time.
Me head's been a right mess.
I just need to get meself back on track.
Just let me get on with me training and try and get my life back in order, yeah? Yeah, whatever.
Noah, back off your holidays, then? Yeah, I thought I'd pop in.
(Mobile ringing) Bethany.
Been seeing her for a while now.
Things pretty serious, then? Yeah, I've been seeing her all the time.
You know, I just think I needed to meet the right girl.
Good for you.
Gonna get her to move in with you? No, no, I don't think her dad will let her move in properly.
Not until we were married.
- Married? - Yeah, I sort of proposed.
Mate, congratulations.
I know.
But don't make a big deal of it, you know how the lads are.
And we haven't set a date yet.
Cool.
Whatever you say.
No agents.
No legal.
Okay, speak later.
- So what's your problem? - Look, I can do without the lecture.
You want my resignation? It's yours.
I know the score, the buck stops with me, judge me on results, yada-yada-ya.
- I'll clear my desk now, shall I? - What are you dribbling on about? I'm saving you the bother.
I've let you down, I know.
You don't get out of it that easy.
First sign of trouble, you're running for the exit.
That's no good to me.
But I thought that Look, Roger, I know why we ain't getting the results.
Other teams are scoring more goals than us.
It ain't just your fault.
It's those overpaid tossers on the pitch and all.
If I sack you, I'm still stuck with them.
- Really, I - No, look, save it.
It's nothing personal.
If we had a bit more cash in the kitty, I might have sacked you.
Luckily for you, we're broke and good managers cost money.
So we're stuck with each other, okay? And stuck with Conrad Gates.
He's getting too big for his boots, you know.
You leave Gates to me.
Now go stick some rockets up some arses.
DARIUS: I don't think he deserves to be sacked.
Webbsie's a brilliant manager.
Was.
While you've been off sick, with your headache or whatever, he's completely lost the plot.
As far as I'm concerned, the bloke's a nutter.
He's made a lot of mistakes, which we end up paying for.
I suppose.
Right, lads.
Gather round.
I've got an announcement to make.
Come in.
I've just had a meeting with Miss Bailey and she has told me to tell you that you're nothing but a bunch of overpaid tossers and it's my job to lick you into shape.
So, nothing new there then, eh? Right.
Now we all know where we stand.
We got a lot of work to do if we're gonna finish in the top six, but it's not impossible.
We got Fry and Alexander back now so it's just about doable.
Which doesn't really say a lot for the rest of you now, does it? So how about you all get warmed up and you can start earning those wages of yours? And, Gates, I want a word with you, come here.
Listen up, captain.
If you think this team ain't big enough for the both of us, then I suggest you mosey on out.
'Cause I ain't going nowhere.
Well, I'm really excited about it.
I mean, all the radio stations are playing it so I think that's a good sign.
- What, and they reckon it could go top 10? - Yes.
- You like it, don't you, Jackie? - Yeah, of course.
You all right? I mean, you haven't even touched your food.
No, I'm just not very hungry.
No, must be tough.
What with all the papers talking about Roger being on his last legs and everything.
How long you been a footballer's wife? And you still believe the crap you read in the back pages.
Look, love, if it is Roger you're worried about, forget it.
I told him this morning he's here for the duration.
His job's safe.
Thanks.
That's a load off my mind.
Oi, mate, get us a large brandy over here.
Pronto.
I nearly didn't see you.
What are you doing hiding down there? I thought you might want to be discreet after last night.
(Whispering) Looks like we're having an affair.
Can we move? Of course.
- Table by the door? - I don't want to be that conspicuous.
Well, Goldilocks, we'll just have to find one that's just right.
Yes, we will.
Won't we? - How's this? - Perfect.
How's the chair? Too high, too low? Sorry.
I know I'm a pain.
Not at all.
To me.
I'm nervous and overcompensating.
Shall we start again? - Lucy, great to see you.
- Great to see you, too.
Now, let's see if they do porridge.
He won't even talk about it.
And then we had a bit of a scare.
I got sent some pants through the post.
Pants? Yes, his pants, or probably not, but it's not the point.
I believed him, I do believe him, but there's something that's not right.
And he won't let me in.
You know what they're like.
Oh, it'll be nothing.
You're just paranoid.
He's mad about you, anyone can see that.
Except me.
Yeah, well, I knew the minute that bitch Turner had her talons into my Conrad.
I mean, all of a sudden he's too tired 'cause of all the training.
Tired my arse.
He couldn't perform because he was off getting it somewhere else.
I'm right, aren't I, Jackie? I mean, as a woman, you just know.
If it's not happening down there, well I shouldn't be telling you all this.
I mean, it's not fair on him.
But that's what we're here for.
And I know what it's like.
Sometimes you just want to let it all out.
Look, now he's had the vote of confidence, he'll be fine.
Well, he bloody better be or we're both in the shit.
Yeah, probably.
Cheers, H.
You know, I wouldn't have put you down as a footballer's wife.
And what's that exactly? No offence, but blonde, self-obsessed airhead about sums them up as far as I'm concerned.
I couldn't possibly comment.
You could be doing anything.
Using that brain, being creative, artistic.
Thank you.
That means a lot.
You really should think about going back to college.
Yeah, maybe when Angelica's a bit older.
But you've got a nanny now, haven't you? What's the problem? Busy lifestyle? Excuse me, I do work, you know.
It's not all pedicures and running from the paparazzi.
Ah, you've got the school run, haven't you? Actually, Angelica gets picked up in a taxi.
There's no excuse, then.
You should enrol in an art course somewhere.
Don't let your talent go to waste, please.
Oh, 20 to pumpkin.
I'll pay, then we better move.
- Is it being a doctor? - What? I don't know, makes you so caring.
Well, I'd like to think it was something to do with you.
I'm not used to it, to tell you the truth.
I know Bruno loves me, I think.
It's just footballers, they're a different species.
They just don't want to show their sensitive side.
Well, I don't mind showing you mine.
You're early.
- Not really.
Where you been? - Three guesses.
You didn't have to go all the way to town to get steak.
You're worth it.
Although I did look at a few handbags as well.
I bet you did.
- You got a call this morning.
- Call? Who from? It doesn't say.
You deleted it.
About 9:30.
Just when I was leaving for training.
Oh, that.
Oh, it was a wrong number.
The guy couldn't speak English, I think he was Swedish or something, or Norwegian, what do I know? So why delete it? - No reason.
- No reason? For Christ's sake, Bruno, it was a wrong bloody number.
Come on.
How about we take Angelica out on her pony and then I cook you your steak? And just chill, will you? All right for some.
I gave myself the afternoon off.
You can do that when you're the boss.
You deserve it.
H told me about your little chat and I'm really pleased for you and me.
I know it's been tough for you.
Sorry if I've had to bring it all home with me sometimes.
- So you're happy now? - Why wouldn't I be? A great job, beautiful house and an absolutely gorgeous wife.
(People applauding) As you know, we've got a match tomorrow so we're very grateful that our captain, Conrad Gates, and manager, Roger Webb, have both found the time to come along and meet you all.
But they can't stay out late.
So we better get on with it.
Gents and ladies, please raise your glasses to Earls Park and Higraff.
ALL: To Earls Park and Higraff.
- And to us.
- And us.
- Shame about the view, eh? - Oh, stop it.
What's he gawping at? Should have seen him today, strutting round like Napoleon 'cause Hazel told him his job was safe.
Well, maybe that's because he's got a new playmate.
What are you talking about? Is Roger having an affair? Well, he's not doing the business in the bedroom.
I think he's got a problem downstairs and that's from Jackie's very own mouth.
- Oh, really? - Really.
You get to hear all sorts at our girls' lunches.
And she's dead upset.
Bless her.
I'll bet.
You know, he practically bought me a leaving present.
Yeah, well, you're on the same side now so just let it go.
Hey, I haven't got a problem.
It's him.
He just can't bear losing.
Well, unless he's playing football, of course.
Roger can't get it up.
Who would have thought it? Up yours, mate.
MAN: I used to be a bit useful myself.
Had the trials but my dad thought it was more important for me to go to university.
- Right.
- Of course, there wasn't the money in the game - that there is now.
- Right.
So, how did a pretty thing like you get to be chair of a football club? I chewed up a few middle-aged businessmen and spat them out again.
Right.
Well, it's a sort of East meets West fusion hybrid sort of thing.
- Haven't you heard it? - No, I haven't had the pleasure.
So, Conrad, any tips for an old Sunday leaguer like me? Yeah, get the right manager.
Excuse me.
Go and sort it out.
What? Look, if he wants to be a bad loser, then that's his problem.
I am not gonna apologise.
I'm not asking you to, but just show him that you've left the playground even if he hasn't.
Yeah.
Thanks, love.
- Excuse me.
- Sorry.
Bit of a bore these dos, aren't they? Company leaves a lot to be desired.
You know, Gates, you and I'd get along a whole lot better if you only remembered who was in charge.
And that'd be me, of course.
Now I know why you throw your weight around at work.
Not much of a man at home.
What are you on about? Not keeping Jackie very happy, are you? What's the matter? Can't you get it up? Hey, I got no problems in that department, pal.
Really? It's not what your wife thinks.
Oh, had a little chat with this dozy cow, have you? - Roger.
- I'm leaving.
I'm sorry.
How rude.
- I'm sorry, H.
- No worries.
Roger.
Come on, let's go home.
We can talk about it there.
I'm not going home.
Well, where are you going? You know, the more I think about it, the more I think Angelica needs a little brother.
Do you fancy a boy next time? I've got my hands full enough with you two, haven't I? What? You're saying you don't want any more of my kids? Of course I do.
Good.
Then I have to make sure you get them, then.
Nice to meet you, Derek, and I'll sort out that photo for your boy.
That's very kind.
And as a special treat, you can have a copy of my new single, Bhangra Bootie.
Oh.
- Good night.
- Lovely.
Don't think the sponsors are happy about Webbsie doing a runner? Really? They'll get over it.
Trust me.
If the meeting wasn't that important, I'd rather have gone for a meal with my wife.
But these events are made for you, Gates, you're so good at talking bollocks.
Thought that was Webbsie's strong point, only you don't seem to recognise it.
Listen, sunshine, you got something to say about your manager, just come out and say it.
All right.
He's crap.
And you're the greatest footballer who ever lived? You used to represent me, thought you knew what you were doing.
True, I don't often make mistakes, but maybe you're one of them.
- I'm just worried about team morale, that's all.
- What about my morale? You try going to bed with 20 million quid's worth of debt hanging over you? That's football for you.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm in it for the pleasure.
Every time I see one of you guys with a new 90 grand sports car or a third holiday home, it makes my day.
I tell you, if he walks through that door, I'll deck him one.
No, Seb, please.
Hey, come on, finish your drink.
Sometimes it's the only thing that gets you through.
Well, let's have one more.
- No, please, I think I'm gonna pass out.
- Oh, rubbish.
You only had a couple.
You see, what gets me is why.
I mean, he's been on his own for years.
Suddenly he gets the chance of a happy ever after with a caring and beautiful woman like you and, well, he blows it.
I can't think about it anymore.
I should get to bed.
Thanks for staying up with me.
Don't thank me, I just wanted to I'm just so pissed off with my dad.
- I hope you don't think I'm anything like him.
- No, I don't.
What are you doing? Jesus! It's 3:30 in the morning.
I'm shopping, all right.
You expect me to believe that.
I've just put two kilos of Jersey Royals in my trolley.
- Unless you prefer Maris Pipers.
- I don't give a stuff.
All I care about is waking up in the middle of the night to find my wife's disappeared.
I don't want it happening again, all right? I couldn't sleep, sorry.
I'll just close it down.
Do that.
(Telephone ringing) ROGER: (On machine) You've reached Roger and Jackie Webb, please leave a message.
(Machine beeping) ROGER: Jackie? Are you there, love? Listen, I've been stupid, I know, and I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to me now.
I'm so sorry.
You mean everything to me and, well, I don't know what I'd do without you.
I'm sorry, love.
Morning.
- I wondered when you were gonna surface.
- Jesus, put some clothes on.
Okay, okay.
What's the problem? No, no, please, tell me we didn't.
Okay, we didn't.
God, I don't believe I could be that stupid.
I mean, I don't remember a thing.
It's a total blackout.
I was drunk, wasn't I? Well, it didn't seem to affect your performance.
Now, you listen to me.
Your father must never find out about this.
Do you understand? - Find out about what? - That you stayed in the room.
- I mean it, Seb.
- Oh, Jackie, come on.
We've done nothing wrong.
In fact, we were great together.
- Get off me! - That's definitely not what you said last night.
Get out.
Get out! - Where are you going? - I want to pick up a couple of things in town.
Like what? Things.
Jesus, Bruno, have we got to go through this every time I leave the house? You know I don't like any changes of plan on match days.
It's not a change of plan, it's normal.
I'm going shopping, I'll go to the match, I'll see you after.
Can you cope with that? What I can't cope with is what's going on here.
You've changed, Lucy.
- You're paranoid.
- I'm not paranoid! Do you think I don't know my own wife? Bruno, just calm down.
We've both changed since you came to Earls Park.
All right, I admit it, the London shops are hard to resist.
Is that what you're on about? Too much shopping? Bloody hell, I never get beyond the windows anyway.
Unless you're gonna keep me a prisoner again I'm going out.
Bruno, you're getting yourself in a right state.
Come on, it's an important game today.
You're telling me that? Please, let's not argue.
The truth is I've seen some fabulous underwear that I wanted to surprise you with tonight.
Yeah? I just didn't want it getting snapped up by someone else's wife.
Why didn't you tell me? I'm not trying to be unreasonable.
(Machine beeping) You have one new message.
ROGER: Jackie? Are you there, love? Listen, I've been stupid, I know, and I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to me now.
I'm so sorry.
You mean everything to me and, well, I don't know what I'd do without you.
I'm sorry, love.
Sorry I'm late.
So what's with the urgent? I nearly didn't come at all today, Giles.
Oh, trouble at home? - This is getting impossible.
- What is? Me sneaking away for secret meetings with you.
Lucy, we see each other a couple of hours a week.
Max.
For coffee.
What is there to stop? I've got a difficult husband.
He's a bit possessive.
Actually he wants to know what I do every minute of every day.
He's getting suspicious.
You can't live your life like that.
It's just bullying.
- There's nothing I can do.
- Yes, there is.
Stand up to him.
- You don't know Bruno.
- So it's not worth the bother? You go along with what he wants, to hell with your own life.
I've got a young daughter to think about.
And what kind of example are you setting her? That it's normal to be scared of your husband? That you're his possession? He's a good father.
Most abused women make that excuse about their partners.
- I'm not abused.
- Sorry, Lucy, but that's exactly what you are.
- You can get out of it.
- I can't, can I? I'm terrified of him.
He's shown me what will happen if I try to go.
He burnt all my clothes so I wouldn't be able to leave the house.
Are you serious? He sounds deranged.
- Has he hit you? - I've learnt how to manage it.
But it's getting more and more difficult.
I don't want this to happen, Lucy.
It's got to be.
If you weren't scared of the consequences what would you want? I'm sorry, love.
Why should I even open the door to you? Because I'm your husband and you used to love me? I was just a bit pissed, Jacks.
I was just thinking what would hurt you most.
You succeeded, then.
You looked a right plonker, do you know that? Nothing to how I'm feeling.
You're the one for me, Jacks.
I don't care how much you gob off about our private lives.
Truth is, you don't know how happy I am to see you standing there.
I'll tell you what, I'll get changed and we'll go out somewhere.
- Where? - Anywhere you like.
- Well, you've got the game today.
- Hey.
It's only football.
- Morning, son.
- Morning.
So that's it, then.
You and me finished.
Don't be ridiculous, Seb.
There is no you and me.
All it was was a drunken fumble.
Oh, no it wasn't.
Yeah.
Yeah, you've got to go, I know.
It's the last thing I want to do.
It goes without saying, these past few weeks have just meant everything to me.
And me.
The thought of you going back to that bastard it's too much.
I have to leave, Giles.
Please don't say this is the last time we'll see each other.
Please, Lucy.
- Roger here? - No.
Looks like another no show.
It's getting to be a habit.
Yeah, like your pain in the arse comments.
- Did your dad come in with you? - No.
Where is he? He missed a meeting with me this morning.
I don't think you want to know.
He's out for lunch, sucking up to his wife.
COMMENTATOR: (On radio) Roger Webb's team have a lot to prove after their last disappointing outing.
Out of Europe, but still with the Premiership in their sights.
Seems to me they need to settle into their game, particularly Bruno Milligan, who's been less than consistent this season.
When Earls Park brought him on, I think they were expecting great things.
The jury's still out on whether Milligan's really delivered for them.
Good to see Seb Webb back in the line-up though.
I'm sure he'll be fired up to prove to the fans and the team that he should have been there all along.
Gates is notoriously strong at getting his team behind him so let's see if he's managed it today.
I hoped you were in a coma.
No, in fact, you know, I've never felt better.
Where the hell have you been? Bit of pre-match bonding with my gorgeous wife.
We're gonna win today, H.
I just know it.
I almost feel like putting on a pair of football boots and scoring a few goals myself.
Yeah, well, you might need to 'cause I just had the offer through.
It's good.
Naughty, naughty.
Bruno hasn't done anything special, has he? He's just scored the most amazing goal I've ever seen.
Oh, no! What happened? I'm gonna have to say I saw it.
I'm only joking, Luce.
It was Seb Webb that scored.
Bruno's been hanging out at the back so you're not gonna have to lie too much when he quizzes you later.
I can't tell you how sick I am of it all, Amber.
Wouldn't have anything to do with that new fellow of yours, would it? There is no new fellow.
Not anymore.
And it's Gates in the centre looking for the gap.
Crosses to Webb who's come from nowhere down the right wing, he shoots It's there! 1-0.
Oh, Sebastian Webb, at last living up to his early promise.
And look at the smile on Roger Webb's face.
That's one proud father.
ROGER: Well done.
Well done.
Good performance.
Hey, Seb, well played, mate.
- Yeah? - Hey, Webb.
Come here.
You were fantastic out there.
You showed everyone what you can do.
I'm proud of you.
First time for everything, yeah? Hey.
Hey.
I mean it.
You were amazing out there.
A hundred times better than I ever was.
Son, I want us to forget all the bad stuff between us.
Cheers, Dad.
It means a lot.
Yeah, I want you to know that, you know, all the hassle, it's over, all right? No more special treatment.
You're your own man now.
It's really helped, you know.
Living with you and Jackie.
I mean, I know I can afford my own place now but I thought maybe I need to be under the thumb a bit more than the other lads.
Well, just till I get settled at the club.
That's sensible talk, lad.
And you can stay as long as you want, you know.
It's your home, too.
What do you think Jackie's gonna say to that? She won't mind at all.
She probably prefers you to me anyway.
Yeah, it was the cake thing - LUCY: Yeah.
- Jackie? Oh, hello.
I'm just gonna go and get a drink.
- All right, babe.
- Hi, sweetheart.
Well done.
- You saw it? - Yeah.
It's just I noticed you were late to take your seat.
Yeah, just a bit.
I lost track of time shopping.
Stupid me.
Just about the most important game of the season and I'm the white rabbit.
- Sorry.
- It's okay, babe.
You don't have to panic.
You were a little late.
So? Well, it's just I know you're so superstitious.
Listen, Luce I've been a shit to you lately, haven't I? I know I have.
A total prat.
Well, these past few months haven't been the easiest Go on, say it.
'Cause I deserve to hear it.
There must have been times you wanted to leave me.
There have, haven't there? Yeah.
I would never want that to happen.
Whatever I've done to upset you, it stops here, Luce.
I mean it.
I've got to stop being an effing control freak.
I can't believe I'm hearing this, Bruno.
- I've been so miserable.
- Well, I'm gonna make you happy.
I promise you.
Do you trust me? Did you get those nice undies for me? - All snapped up, eh? - I told you they would be.
It's good I got you something, then.
What's this? It's to mark the first day of the rest of our lives.
Bruno, it's gorgeous.
You've never given me any reason to doubt you.
So I won't, not anymore.
Life's too short.
I've got the best marriage in the whole world.
It's time I started enjoying it.
- Seb played boss today, didn't he? - Here he is.
(People clapping) - See you later.
- See you.
Hello, love.
We've had a heart-to-heart, man-to-man, and sorted everything out, haven't we, Seb? You gonna congratulate me? For the goal.
Yeah.
Well done, Seb.
You did your dad proud.
- Hazel.
- Nice one, Webbsie.
- Thank you.
- I think I'd better ROGER: Oh.
Right.
Can I watch? - Number six.
- Really? That's great.
Have you heard what's number one? Are you trying to say that's better than Bhangra Bootie? - No.
And the singer's a dog.
- Exactly.
- Well played, Gates.
- Thank you.
Should add a few more Euros to your asking price.
- Sorry? - Bit of a cash flow problem.
You're solving it.
- You're selling me? - I knew you'd understand.
You can't just sell Conrad.
Not just like that.
This should have been discussed at the board meeting.
- Where to? - Madrid.
Don't worry, Amber, lots of lovely shops.
Adios.
I know, I know he has.
But this time he was dead sincere.
I've never seen him like this.
Please don't try and make me change my mind.
I just didn't want you worrying about me after what I said today.
Look, I am happy.
So maybe you'd better log on and try and meet someone else.
Maybe someone who isn't married.
Yeah.
Pull! (Gun firing) I've got something to tell you, Roger.
And I know you're gonna hate me.
I'm a major shareholder.
And I want to pick this club out of the shit hole that Hazel Bailey has dropped it in.
Oh, no! No!