Lab Rats (2012) s04e08 Episode Script

Yes, Donnie, I'll take out the garbage.
No, Donnie, I won't experiment on the kids' bionics while they're asleep again.
It was one time, and you didn't even notice.
Gotta go.
Yes.
I miss you, too.
Donnie and the students made it to Gettysburg for their first official field trip.
Bionic kids and cannonballs.
What could possibly go wrong? You're his student.
Why didn't you go? Big D.
thinks I'm there.
When he takes attendance, I paid a kid five bucks to yell, "Here," and another kid ten bucks to yell, "Shut it, Leo.
" Oh, hey, Bree.
I ditched the field trip so I could hang out with you guys.
What should we do on our day off? Our day off? No, this is my day off, and I've already got it all planned out.
I'm gonna sit by the pool and read a book.
I'd ask you to join me, but I live and work with my family, so I'm sick of all of you.
Hey, Chase, wanna hang out? Sorry, Leo, gotta make the most of my day off.
I already organized the weapons vault, alkalized the island's water system, and taught a cute little group of dolphins to wave hello.
Next up, some light reading.
Oh.
She ended up marrying the vampire? I did not see that coming.
- Hey, Adam.
- No.
I didn't even ask you anything yet.
Oh, I'm sorry.
go ahead.
- Thank you.
Would you like to - No.
Guys, check out this rock I found on shore.
I had to dig it out from under a wooden box of old yellow coins and jewelry.
Adam, this isn't a rock.
It's a fossil.
- Let me see that.
- No! This is a prehistoric sea spider.
It went extinct millions of years ago.
Way to go, Chase.
You made my rock boring.
Cool.
I love spiders.
Back in high school, they used to call me Spider Legs.
And now, I'm realizing that's a bad thing.
It looks like it's from the Cretaceous period.
You're right, Douglas.
It's from the Valanginian subdivision.
I would've loved to have seen this spider when it was alive.
Maybe you can.
Before I got into bionics, I dabbled in biology.
I was trying to use fossils to bring extinct species back to life.
And that explains why there's still no Mrs.
Douglas Davenport.
This specimen is almost perfectly preserved.
I was never able to crack it on my own, but maybe with your help, I can.
I'm pretty sure you're not looking at me, but I am in.
Let's do this, Douglas.
(Ringing bike bell) Hey, Leo, it was rude of me to just say no when you asked if I wanted to do something earlier.
It's nice to see you've come to your senses.
What I should've said was "no, thank you.
" (Honks horn) The world's first bionic superhumans they're stronger than us.
Faster.
Smarter.
The next generation of the human race is living on a bionic island.
Almost there.
Got it.
Oh, you guys started without me.
I must've missed the memo.
Where we at, compadres? First we have to extract a sampling of its DNA Oh, great, then we can map out its genetic structure, and recreate it exactly.
Or make it better.
There's a reason this spider went extinct.
This time, we can give it a better shot at survival.
After all these years of killing things, I can finally help something live.
Uh, what'd you have in mind? Elongating its chelicera? Elongating the who to the what now? Maybe we can increase the strength of its carapace.
Oh, good idea.
To do that, we'd have to alter - the dimensions of its trochanter.
- Mm, bad idea.
Right.
To properly distribute the weight Yes, the weight.
Of its altered exoskeleton.
The exoskeleton.
Of course.
You're just repeating everything we say.
No, I'm testing you to see if you're both listening, and you are.
Now can we please get back to our tree panthers and our carrot pizzas? Leo, look.
You're a great tech guy, but this is more of a biology thing.
Are you icing me out? Finally.
Something you do understand.
Watch it.
Sorry.
It's kinda hard to see with all this snorkeling gear on.
Then take it off.
Then how will I breathe? You have the bionic ability to breathe underwater.
But I'm not underwater.
Why are you here? We have the whole island to ourselves.
Can't you see I am trying to relax? Hey, I live here, too.
Did it ever occur to you that you sitting here reading quietly might be annoying to me? - No.
- Well, it is! (Buzzing) Adam, what are you doing? What does it look like? I'm shaving my knees.
Why would you shave your knees? 'Cause it's my day off.
Guys, you've gotta come downstairs and see this.
Come on.
Congratulations, Adam.
You did the impossible.
You made me wanna hang out with Chase.
Behold, one of the greatest achievements in the history of science.
(Shrieks) Spider! I'll get it! Stop.
Douglas and I were able to extract the DNA from the fossil, and reanimate the sea spider.
So you brought a million-year-old creature back to life in one day? What'd you do with your day off? When you take a lot of shortcuts, and conduct dangerous experiments without any safety precautions, you can do anything in a day.
Can you believe it? That you'd spend your whole day off with your weird uncle, playing with a dead spider? Yeah, I believe it.
This is just the beginning.
Think of all the other extinct animals we can bring back to life.
Dinosaurs.
Ooh, dodo birds.
Camels.
Adam, camels aren't extinct.
Oh, yeah? Then how come I've never seen one? That thing is nasty.
Can I touch it? - No.
- Oh, but you guys can touch it? Look, we can't risk anything happening to it.
This spider's very existence could change everything.
And make me famous around the world.
- And what about me? - I'm sure you'll end up on somebody's blog.
There.
That should keep our little friend safe.
Well, I'm gonna go somewhere quiet and enjoy my day off.
I'm gonna go somewhere quiet and make noise.
Stop following me! Stop walking in front of me! - Where you guys going? - To the mainland.
We still have to pick up a few things for its terrarium.
Mind if I join you? If you guys are gonna blow me off, then I'm gonna play with my new pal Spidey.
Oh, great.
I forgot they locked it.
Good thing I have the spare key.
Well, hello there.
Oh, mmm.
Anything that smells that bad deserves to be extinct.
Hey, Leo, I have a question.
- What's up? - Is this annoying? (Air horn blares) Yes, it's annoying.
I'll tell you what's annoying.
People who interrupt conversations.
- Leo.
- (Air horn blares) Let me hear it one more time.
(Air horn blares) Yeah, that's annoying.
We might have a problem, 'cause this thing, it's like candy to my ears.
(Blares) Adam, why do you keep pestering me? I'm not pestering you.
I'm just trying to relax on my day off.
This is my Zen.
(Blares) That's it.
Try to toot your little horn now.
(Air horn blows weakly) You messed with our spider.
You can't bring an extinct spider back to life and expect me not to play with it.
Besides, what's the big deal? The big deal is, you didn't put the cover on right, and it escaped.
Oh.
Well, that is a big deal.
(Adam screaming) You okay? I don't know.
Something bit me in the back when I was in the pool.
That's called karma.
No, I bet it was the spider.
Well, if it was, it's gone.
It really hurts.
How's it look? (All shrieking) I better scan the wound.
Guys, his spider bite shows lethal levels of poison.
What? Is it bad? Uh, no.
Just stay calm, and think of your happy place.
Better yet (Blares) Ahh! His vitals are dropping by the minute.
He's burning up.
I cannot believe this is all because of a spider bite.
If we don't do something soon, he's gonna Chase.
Chase.
Where's Chase? I'm here, Adam.
Take my hand.
There's something I have to tell you.
If I die I'm not gonna let that happen.
No, listen to me.
If I die, I want you to know even when I'm dead Adam I'm just a pile of bones I'll still be taller than you.
You should've seen the look on your faces.
Wait.
Why do you have so many tiny faces? Oh, no.
The venom must be making him hallucinate.
I love what you've done to your hair, Bree.
I never would've brought that spider back, had I known that it was poisonous.
Why didn't you know it was poisonous? Why didn't you know it was poisonous? You're the fossil expert.
You're supposed to be the smartest man in the world.
Hey, stop.
Blaming each other is not gonna help Adam.
Besides, I'm the one who pushed him in the pool.
Oh, so it's your fault.
She admitted it.
Well, he let the spider out.
Hey, I'm not even here right now.
I'm in Gettysburg.
We have to find that spider.
If we can make an antidote by extracting the venom from its sac, it should reverse the effects.
- (Groaning) - Don't worry, Adam.
We're gonna find that spider and save you, I promise.
Okey-dokey, Mr.
Corn Dog.
Oh, don't be afraid.
I just wanna bite your head off.
Okay, come on.
Now the spider is really dangerous, so we have to be very careful that we don't get bitten.
Right.
What are you doing?! Protecting you? Oh, come on, I'm the bigger loss, and we both know it.
You are bionic, and you're afraid of a spider? Of course not.
I made it.
I'm not afraid of it.
Get it off me, get it off me! Here, spider, spider, spider.
What are you doing? It's not a dog.
They both bite, don't they? Here, spider, spider, spider.
- Did you find it? - No.
Did you? Why would I ask if you found it if I found it? - I was being polite.
- At a time like this? There is never a bad time for good manners.
- Did you find it? - No.
Did you? See? No, we did not, but thank you for asking.
Okay, the spider could not have just disappeared.
(Loud crashing) Wait.
What was that? I think it's coming from outside.
Is that I think we just found the spider.
(Ferocious roaring) (Shrieking) That spider did not look like that this morning.
What happened? - I don't know.
- Why is it so big? - I don't know.
- Why don't you know? I don't know!! Douglas.
Okay, fine.
Remember how you wanted to make the spider more resilient so that it wouldn't go extinct again? I remember you wanted to do that.
And, uh, we talked about giving it growth hormones.
And I said, do not do that.
Which could be interpreted many different ways.
(Groans) I didn't know it would get this big.
Oh, yeah.
Who knew that growth hormones would make something grow? You're just mad 'cause I didn't save any for you.
(Both) Ooh! Below the belt, Douglas.
Below the belt.
Guys, there is no need to kill each other.
Although, that was a good one, Uncle Dougie.
If we don't stop that thing, it's gonna destroy the entire academy.
No, wait.
We can't kill it yet.
The venom's no good to Adam if we extract it when the spider's dead.
Great.
Now we just need to find someone who knows how to milk a 50-foot spider.
No, no, we don't have to milk it.
We have to extract the spider's venom with this.
This should be sharp enough to puncture the venom sac.
Check the security feed to see if it's still out there.
It's by the living quarters.
- Great.
Let's go.
- Remember, we have to get as close as we can to make sure we get a good shot.
So you want us to sidle up next to a giant, angry, deadly spider - and poke it with a needle.
- Yep.
And if we can do it before my brother returns, that would be great.
Why is it trying to attack us? It's not.
It's trying to eat us.
Why is it trying to eat us? Because we forgot to bring back its food source.
"We"? Oh, no.
There is no we.
This is all you.
You are a terrible scientist.
Hey, I'm not the one who let the spider out.
You are the one who made it a 50-foot-tall man-eater.
Chase.
Chase.
Where's Chase? Oh, knock it off! Okay.
All right.
Ha! Leo, what are you doing? Saving the day.
You know, do my Leo thing.
Not like that, you aren't.
Your angle's all off.
Now that's karma.
Stop.
Douglas was right.
Your angle is completely off.
I am not giving the harpoon to somebody who started all this.
Again, you started all of this.
And I'm about to end it.
You know, suddenly, I feel sorry for the spider.
Here goes.
Got it.
Perfect.
This should be more than enough venom.
Ya think? Well, let's go make that antidote.
Hey, Bree, you need a towel? No, it's okay.
I'd rather just stand here covered in spider goo.
And it went in my mouth.
Okay.
You see, this is what I'm talking about.
A little family bonding.
Funny how it takes a giant killer spider going after our loved ones to remind you what's really important.
Sitting around with the people you see every day.
Too bad we had to destroy Spidey.
I'm gonna miss him.
On the bright side, we're the only people to make a species extinct twice.
Adam, you look great.
Thanks.
You look like you always do.
Wow, that antidote worked quickly.
Then why does he still have a giant boil on his back? It's just excess fluid.
Should be gone in a few days.
Or I can just pop it right now.
I feel better already.
So do I.
And it went in my mouth.
Hey, guys, check out this funny-looking egg that washed up on shore.
- That's a dinosaur egg.
- Oh, boy.
You know, this time, if we don't give it growth hormones, - we could - Or you can get a new hobby.
If you need me, I'll be in Gettysburg.