Lost Girl (2010) s04e08 Episode Script
Groundhog Fae
Previously on Lost Girl When we do get out of here, I think it's time I start training you to be a shadow thief.
Dyson is not guilty of murder.
You are.
Blood King.
But you disappeared.
- Many think you're dead.
- I'd like to keep it that way.
He is the Blood King.
He is my grandfather.
Why hasn't he helped me figure out why I was taken? It's not fair.
He doesn't know about the mark on your chest.
She is more than we expected.
Hey doc, what you do you think about the uh Whoa.
- Should we help her? - No.
No, it's good for us I mean her.
I mean, I think it's therapeutic.
How many failed missions does this make? Girl really wants that hel shoe.
Goodbye, UnderFae guts.
Hello brewskies.
Hey, who do we pay for the gas? Leave the money on the counter.
We trust ya.
I got a good feeling about tonight.
- Me too.
- Me too.
Hmph.
Yule was a major event in my house.
We used to stay up all night hiding from Krampus.
I still remember the rhyme we'd say to ward him off.
- Oh yeah.
- Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Beast of Burden, fool's delight, spare me on this yuletide night.
Of course back then, Krampus would beat you with a stick before he threw you in his sack.
If I may Kenzi in her absence: who's got cramped-ass? Kram-pus.
He's like your Santa Claus only the complete opposite.
Oh, for one thing he slides down your chimney on the hottest night of the year.
Mmm sounds like my kind of elf.
Whoa, whoa are those are Yule candies for Krampus.
You're gonna be on his naughty list.
Oh bitch, I am the naughty list.
- Can't argue with that.
- Nope.
I am tired, you drive.
My god, I gotta get out of these wet clothes.
After you.
Ow! Life is hard when you don't know who you are.
It's harder when you don't know what you are.
My love carries a death sentence.
I was lost for years Searching, while hiding.
Only to find that I belong to a world hidden from humans.
I won't hide anymore.
I will live the life I choose.
4x08 - "Groundhog Fae" The Lord of Yule, the Son of Hel, to him our secrets we must tell.
Lest Krampus Eugh! Okay, enough Stephanie Meyer.
How about getting off your Kringle and help me put up some tinsel since summer Christmas was your idea? Yule is a sacred celebration of contrition, not some Franken-holiday concocted to sell melon ballers.
- You have Rudolph on your sweater.
- It's Eikpyrnir, the stag! He has a Red Nose! It's Rudolph.
Oh, welcome to Santa's workshop.
Ni hao.
How're all my favorite Nutcrackers? Tired.
We hit another dead end.
- Actually, it was an ogre.
- Huh.
Who knew finding a magical hel shoe could - be quite so difficult.
- Place looks great K-star.
Thanks.
So where's Hale? Who's Hale? I'm Krampus.
Get in my sack! Ou Whoa! Buy a girl a drink first, horny.
- Place looks great! - Thanks.
- Guess you've had your hands full.
- Not as full as they're gonna be.
- Ouu.
- Ahem.
Oh, uh okay people listen up! Bo-bo has been really stressed out lately so we want to show her a good time.
So I don't wanna see any Fa-la-la-la-lazy-ass - partying tonight! Got it? - Full on partying.
Got it.
That's right.
We have to show Bo we still love her.
Yes, that even though she's Dark - and suffering from Wanderer PTSD - That we are here for her.
That she is not alone.
- Yup.
- Here, here.
Oh gross.
How long was I out? I can't believe they just left me and I'm talking to myself, perfect.
Yes! S'up s'up.
You got the disease, Choga got the cure.
It's cash only but uh, for you, Choga work something out.
- What is a Choga? - Man, how you don't know Choga? I'm side to side, up and down the dial, yo.
So, uh, tick tock, you wanna ride the dragon or what? Was any of that English? Mmm you ain't never had a high so fly girl.
Let's not bother the nice lady.
Hi Bo.
Happy Yule.
- Thank you Bruce.
- Armpits is half-price! And now I'm tasting vomit and I just got here.
Yeah Choga could work around that.
Oi Choga, give us a lick.
- Is that what I think it is? - It was addressed to the Dark Archives c/o Bo in Bo's handwriting.
And not only did I not tell her about it, I kind of opened it.
Yeah, I can see that.
We can't give this to her.
Says you.
- Whoa, hey! - Hey! You guys scared the chi out of me.
- Dyson's fault.
- Sorry.
And what is with this party? Did everyone here lick Choga? I don't know, ask Vex they came to get her.
And thank you for growing my abandonment issues by leaving me alone in the car.
At least you have two hands! I mean, I've only one and fourteen more of these to drink.
- Is this my corset? - You can't own possessions! Kenzi! Bo - We're gonna need more booze.
- Agreed.
My Kenzi sense is tingling.
Damn girl.
Let me catch up.
- Oh no, it's probably just gas.
- Yeah, sexy gas.
- Daddy's gonna fill your tank.
- Excuse me? Ignore that.
I'll get it better next time.
Kenzi's door is locked, fine, but she's never been with a Fae before, you know? And Hale better behave himself, but still, can you believe she hasn't even come down to check on me? Oh, and speaking of inconsiderate hello, Lauren, Dyson the new Wonder Twins? - Am I right? - If you can't beat 'em Join 'em? I can't even get them to notice I was missing.
Again! Yule is the perfect occasion to confront one's fears.
Fears? Me? Please.
Okay so, maybe I'm running out of excuses to not get back on that train but why am I telling you all this? And who are you? Sometimes the answers are staring us in the face.
- Hilarious.
- Always kills at the orphanage.
Bo! You're here?! Tamsin? I am so sorry.
- What was that for? - Doesn't matter.
You're not going to remember any of this in two seconds.
- Opa! - Opa! What the F? Yes! S'up s'up.
You got the disease, Choga got the cure.
Seriously, what the hell did you slip me? Man, you know Choga.
I'm side to side, up and down the dial, yo.
So tick tock, you wanna ride the dragon or what? No no, we already did this.
Naw, Choga never forgets a tongue girl.
Let's not bother the nice lady, Choga.
- Hi Bo.
Happy Yule.
- Armpits is half price.
Thanks Bruce.
Again.
Yo! Valkyrie lips! What was that? You actually remember! I'm not alone! I can't believe this.
What is going on? In about three seconds Fugly over there calls Brunette by the wrong name.
You're so hot, Christie.
- That's not my name.
- Oh, Carrie.
- It's Jeanette.
- I was way off.
Lady Roids makes it about two more sips before Fire in the hole.
Oh good god, I can smell that from here.
She's a Sasquatch.
She probably ate like a hundred kittens.
Andduck.
I said duck.
How long have you been doing Groundhog Day? And haven't you tried telling anyone? Like, oh my gosh I didn't even think about that like a hundred times! Hey you, I know this is gonna sound crazy but we are stuck in some sort of quantum paradox the same night keeps repeating over and over again.
Yule Fools! Thanks asshat, and good luck with that rash.
- What? - You'll find out.
No matter who I tell I get the same reaction.
Over and over.
Nothing Until you and I kissed.
Mmm.
- Nada.
- Speak for yourself.
Anyway.
Maybe you need to do it with someone you have a connection with.
Have you talked to Lauren or Dyson You mean the same people that left me in the car, alone? Besides I already went upstairs.
They're being weird with Vex.
And Kenzi hasn't even come to check on me.
Please, that girl's stuck from Hale to Eternity.
Besides, for them it's just party as usual.
They are not stuck in the loop.
Say opa.
- What? - Three-two-one Opa! 'Cause this song just gets better and better He is getting a rash.
Everywhere.
Oh yeah! We can drink to that.
- S'up s'up.
- Bruce.
Bruce? Yo, whatchyou calling that meat mountain for? He can't fill your prescription! You know what screw it.
I am calling time out on hel shoes, on being Dark, all of it.
Everyone here is having fun.
Now it is my turn.
Starting with him.
Oh yeah, I got to him about fifteen repeats ago.
Well that settles it.
Time to get our Yule on.
Yeah! - Here? In front of everybody? - Oh they won't remember.
Besides: tell me this wasn't on your list.
To commence the annual Yule drinking game we shall drink to decide whether or not we tell Bo about the box.
Agreed? - Agreed.
- Pros.
Okay, well Bo is always very big on the truth.
True.
Cons.
Cons: We may lose Bo to the big locomotive in the sky forever.
Well as somebody who knows Bo beyond her rack size - and underwear line - Oo, burn! I think that the best course of action is some caution.
Because although I love her, you know she is sometimes a very sexy bull in a China shop.
Well as someone who sacrificed his love to save Bo's life Oh, wow god, really.
Boring.
- Hi.
- rather than lying to her - countless times - Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
- A-mazing! Let me just say that I've learned that Bo can handle herself.
And it is never a good idea to get in the way of Bo's destiny.
Oh, should I tell Bo Bo doesn't love me Come on, let's figure out what to do with the mystery package and settle the enigma of the most boring threesome ever once and for all! Present your cases to me! And I shall deliberate! What do you think? I probably think the opposite of whatever you think.
Granted.
But you realize we're about to listen to Vex.
Right? Who is sorts kinda Bo's pet now.
C'mon now.
Come to Team Vex.
Where yee shall be judged, most worthy of Bo's box.
Round and round we go where she stops nobody knows.
Kenzi was pretty bummed when you left.
Yeah I just needed to find my kind.
Other Valkyries.
- Find myself, if you will.
- Did you? - I have a lot to amend for.
- Oh.
Who doesn't.
Happy Yule, Valkryie.
Bo, there's something I need to talk to you about Well that's new.
- And definitely bad.
- Opa? Holy shit.
Good, stick together.
S'up s'up.
You got the disease, Choga You think Mama Choga wanted you to leave the lilypad to be a sweat peddler? Huh? You're better than this! And stay away from the walls! Okay, I have looked everywhere.
Grey-hair McCutie is gone.
Okay, well whatever took him must have something to do with the time shifts.
Okay, you think this has something to do with me? Because everything terrible 'round here usually has to do with me.
No.
Chill.
Tamsin, okay? Has anyone else gone missing since you've been here? I don't know.
I just thought everyone got drunk and took off.
Bruce.
He was here, helping me lift amphibian-arms out of my way.
And now he'sgone.
Yeah, but like Bruce is like gamma ray huge! - What or who could of - Suck him into a walls? Okay, tell me everything you remember before you got to the party.
Did you piss off a wizard or something along your travels? No, no I took the 43 bus, got off at the gas station, I got a pack of gum, and I came straight here.
I swear.
Okay, well we need to stop this thing before it - snatches someone else.
- Ok, um How? I don't know.
Normally in these situations I just ask - Trick! - Trick! He should be easy to find he's wearing one helluva a sweater.
First time I saw Bo? I knew she was special.
- And trouble.
- No argument here.
Mm-hmm.
Amen.
But if I hadn't been there to give her the old Wolf-Chi power up she would not have survived those trials.
Puh-lease.
Hahaha, so in a way I'm responsible for her still being here so I should choose what to do with her box the box.
- Objection! - Nah.
No, a point for trying to win.
But minus a point for not noticing my jubblies in this bra.
I'm not playing that game.
When I first met Bo she didn't even know her hole from an ass in the ground.
She was all like "I'm a killer, get in my way and I'm gonna kill you that's what killers do.
" That's right.
And then I curbed her hunger.
And then she was like "maybe I'm okay, I'm not so bad".
And I love her also, so I think that we should just throw the box in a big old fire, voilá.
The Doctor, thank you very much, rests! Agh, Bo gets kidnapped by mysterious black smoke, sends herself an ominous package - why are we fighting about this? - I don't know, Dyson.
- I don't know anything.
- Neither do I.
How is it that even you love somebody so much and Let them down? - Exactly.
- Still working on that one too.
Come here you.
- C'mon Doctor.
- Hah.
Hug it out.
Been a long time.
Give it to me.
Give me some love.
Give me some love.
- Okay.
- Oi - Okay.
- So what does the genius get, you know, who organized this little Kumbaya? You get your hand re-attached.
By me.
Rrright now.
Drunkin' surgery.
I'll be the nurse.
- Ou.
- Oo, this is getting kinky Oh, Trick.
Trick, you have no idea how good it is to see you.
You can't prove I did that.
Wow.
Okay, easy does it.
- How long I been out? - What is the last thing you remember? I was helping Kenzi with the decorations and the doorbell kept ringing, and something about? Oprah!!! - You're pretty.
- Okay, look you have to listen to me.
This is going to sound outrageous but you must believe me.
Of course.
You're my grand-dubus.
My succu-daughter.
Okay, we're stuck in some sort of a time loop.
Time keeps repeating.
I need water.
Mmm.
It gets worse.
Okay.
People are disappearing.
One we know of for sure but there could be more.
We need your help Opa!! Oh, I hope Kenzi's having better luck than I am.
My Kenzi sense is tingling.
I'm gonna mingle with your tingle like I'm single, girl.
Say what now? It does not smell amazing in here.
My Kenzi sense is tingling.
I feel it too, it's like a burning sensation.
Huh? These aren't mine.
- My Kenzi sense is tingling.
- That's just my love train, pulling into your tunnel of love.
Dammit! I would have died a thousand deaths just to meet you, yet now that I have, I want to live forever.
- That's the one.
- That's the one? - Mm-hmm.
Okay, um, a little, ya know, first-time-with-a-Fae-box from Bo.
Okay Oh wow.
That's prepared.
We've got edible, non-edible, fat-free, firm, fire-proof, fig flavoured and Look, if you don't wanna do this.
Oh, no I-I do.
Believe me.
I do.
Kenzi and Hale, take sixty-seven.
Okay, ninth time's the charm, c'mon Trick! Concentrate! You can't prove I did that.
Okay, we're in a time loop the walls are eating people, help! Oh this this izbad.
What? Una Mens bad? Smoke-nappers bad? Six more weeks of winter bad? What!? Yule fools! - He's useless to us.
- You're pretty.
- I know.
- He's been useless.
Look, I've been wanting to say this for a while.
I know that you haven't helped me find the Wanderer.
Why? Because I'm terrified.
What aren't you telling me? Okay, I don't mean to rush you but Opa! Oh dammit, Trick.
Who else knows about Yule.
Hale! Something is going on, we're in danger, it could be Una Mens.
We've tried this already.
And nobody is taking us seriously.
Nah, Una Mens ain't dumb enough to cause trouble on Yule.
Hell, they're probably off playing kissyface under the mistletoe.
Please don't tell them I said that.
Well whoever it is, we need all hands on deck.
Where's Kenzi? Off freshen up.
Again.
Opa! Comet, Cupid and Blitzen.
You know about the loop? You're in on it?! Haha, Krampus got both of you too? Oh man, he's got skills.
Hold up.
This entire thing is just some stupid holiday prank? - Seriously? - Krampus? You mean that Anti-Claus Fae you guys we're talking about? Yeah, every year he picks a few Yule fools to repeat the night.
- It's totally harmless.
- Harmless? We just saw some guy get sucked into the wallpaper.
- What? - No, no Krampus feeds on regret.
That's why he puts people in the loop; sooner or later they'll get into all kinds of trouble.
Hey Kiebler, what the hell's going on here? You call this a Yule party? No fruit? No offerings to Vanir? No wassailing.
And this this has no business here Oh now we gettin' all up in each other's business?! This mangy cur is not Eikpyrnir, the stag.
- It's Rudolph!! - I knew it!! Trick has got to hear this.
- Bo-bo, where you been? - Where have I been? Hey, buddy.
I'm starting to think that you were not technically invited Krampusnacht is a night people should revere You'll rue the day you thought to desecrate the Yule Lord! Bo, watch out! Sweet Christmas.
- Kenzie? - Upstairs safe with Trick.
Was that shitty Santa? Whats his name.
Krampus? Krampus ain't supposed to space suck people.
No, he-he's just a kindly old prankster who whisks naughty children off in his sack to Candyland.
Yeah well apparently he's really stepped up his game this year.
- How do I find him? - Uh, we go back to wherever we showed up on his radar, I guess.
Which could be anywhere.
Okay, Tamsin stopped to buy gum.
She got off the number 43 bus - Which goes right by - The gas station.
Oh god, what if something happens to her? Stay calm.
If we got one thing on our side it's time.
Remember? God, Hale why the hell would you put yourself through this voluntarily? Wait? You and Kenzi? God, that is just skeevy.
Ow-ow-ow.
It's the opposite of skeevy! Okay, look I had a chance to perfect my game.
So to speak.
I swear I was going to tell her.
- I think you just did.
- What? Who's the Yule fool now, hm? No wait, just leave her.
In a few minutes she won't remember - any of this anyway.
Right? - Maybe.
But that doesn't make it right.
Opa! Thanks for the part-ay.
Why am I itchy? I didn't start back in the car.
What happened? Are we done repeating the loop? What does this mean? It means Krampus has found someone with enough regret to tide him over.
And as for us, we're back to normal time.
So life continues; without Tamsin.
Oh, I've gotta get to that gas station.
You stay here and protect everybody else.
Whoa Bo.
Blade of steel, hilt of bone.
Yuletide Eve, you must atone.
Look, Krampus may be a joke but that doesn't make him harmless.
Thank you.
I'll pee on the post.
All right, all right.
Whoa, whoa - Here it is, here it is.
- Are you sure you know what you're doing? Are you kidding me? She could do an emergency brainoplasty with both hands tied behind her back.
That is not a thing, but thank you.
Please, can you please confirm that this is your hand.
I'm going to need more sedatives.
Hey, honestly what are we doing with Bo's box? Well obviously we can't give it to her.
Why obviously? Because Dyson, if I said green, you'd say purple, to get my goat.
I don't want your goat.
I can get any goat I want.
I'm a good goat-catcher Oh, you both want the same goat.
We get it already.
What you two don't get.
Is that you don't hate each other anymore.
- Okay, what's in this stuff? - A whole lotta truth and a little Choga sweat.
Woohoo! You know, he's right though.
I haven't hated you for a long time.
You're the only one that gets my predicament, Wolfie.
And you make me laugh.
To us.
To Bo.
To drunken surgery.
Gah! Ouu mmmm.
Get away from me.
I gotta put that on you.
Tamsin?! Tamsin? Are you here? Tamsin? Oh, and it's back in the car again.
Come to stuff my stocking with your Yule log again, stud? I'm so sorry lil mama, that was stupid.
- So how many times did we? - No, none.
Not once; I swear.
I mean we came close a couple times but we never Connected? Look I just wanted to make this night perfect, you know? Look dude, I dig you.
But be real.
You're Fae, I'm human.
It's never gonna be perfect.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
- I just didn't want to disappoint you.
- Are you kidding me? The Casanova of Clan Zamora? I've never done this before.
With someone I really care about.
Whoa.
- Where are you going? - To freshen up.
Everyone deserves a second chance.
There's no rush.
We have time.
What the hell is this place? - Tamsin? - Oh hey, Bo! How you doing? - I'm gonna get you out of here.
- No.
It's okay.
I've been naughty but now I'm gonna be candy!! I already broke the machine once.
Now I have to wait to be candy! Okay, brainwashed Betty.
Listen up: have you been naughty? Yes, who hasn't? But you are a good person.
And despite all, you are my friend.
And I'm not leaving you behind! If they make me into a lollipop, I want you to have the first lick.
Alright, that is it.
I'm getting you out of here.
Eugh! Those are on too tight.
I need something to stop the Eugh.
Hale I could kiss you.
Eugh! Okay come on, let's go.
- You're not going anywhere.
- And why would we want to? Silly girls.
This is the belly of Yule.
This is where sour becomes sweet.
And naughty becomes nice.
Uh, no this is where the succubus goes bad Santa on your badly camoflage'd ass.
Because all this? - This is just Bad Christmas! - Blasphemer! The Valkryie is mine by the ancient laws of Yule.
Oh, yeah? Well by the powers vested in me by merry old Saint Nick, I say she's coming with me.
Fine.
Take her.
If you can.
Come on.
Ou! Tamsin I'm going to need your help, I can't do this without you.
But if they make me candy, then I can't hurt anyone anymore.
- Then everyone will like me.
- I like you You won't like me when I confess the truth.
I'm the reason the Wanderer found you.
In a previous life I hunted Fae fugitives for a price.
I was a Valkyrie.
I was the best.
And I was greedy.
One look into his eyes and I knew I'd never really met true evil.
Not until then.
I told my self I was powerless to refuse this beast so I accepted his bounty to find a woman.
I took comfort that the girl he described couldn't possibly exist.
Eyes both brown and blue.
Virtuous, yet lustful.
Neither Dark nor Light, yet both.
So you see.
You weren't supposed to be real.
And the fact that I helped that monster find you Hey, Tamsin, listen to me.
None of that matters now.
Do you understand? Hey, I forgive you.
So, no respect for the old ways? We'll see about that.
Buddy, you are ten pounds of crazy in a two pound bag.
Admit you ate it.
Admit it! Whoa, whoa whoa, that's what this is all about? We're here because we ate your gas station people candy? People used to cower at the mere mention of Krampus.
They just need a reminder.
Well Krampus, or whatever the hell your name is He's not Krampus I am! Ta-da.
Ta-da.
Holy shit.
Hold that thought.
- You promised this would be my year! - Silence! Children are such a delight, aren't they? But they get a little bit more over zealous when they try to please.
Now what seems to be the bother? Uh, the bother, is that Jeffrey over here is trying to turn my friends into human gobstoppers.
So go wonka-fy someone else coz that ain't happening.
Jeffrey, is this true? They're both worthy offerings but I choose her.
- Aww Lucky.
- You choose her? Tut-tut-tut, ladies please.
A sacrifice must be made.
The laws on this are clear.
Yes, yes I see.
Again, allow me to apologize for the boy, he has a little bit of growing to do.
Growing nevermind.
You can go.
And you.
- You too! - I'm telling Mom What the hell did you do to them? Oh, I set them free of course.
So why am I still here? There's darkness in you my child, enough to make candy for centuries; maybe even longer.
And the guilt.
The denial.
Complex emotions make the best candy.
You, my little succubus I have never made blue candy before.
Let me go and I'll consider letting you live.
No, it's better like this.
You see, you won't be breaking any more hearts; no more hurting anyone.
You'll just bring sweetness to everyone you meet.
Is that supposed to scare me? Sour becomes Sweet.
Naughty is Nice.
Guilt becomes Glue and Denial is a river in Africa.
I am not afraid of you! Believe me child when I tell you only the truth shall set you free.
How can you be pure when you will not confront your fears? Okay! Yes, I'm scared.
Is that what you want to hear? Aha I'm scared of making the wrong choice.
Of losing my friends my family again.
- I'm terrified of what I'll become.
- Ooo! I'm terrified of what I'm capable of.
I'm terrified of the Wanderer and what he'll make me!! Aha! I'm scared.
Really, really scared.
You don't have to be.
I've got you.
Let's go home.
- Are we still? - It's okay.
Everything's back to normal.
Or at least what you call normal in this crazy place.
- Bruce? - Passed out in your bed.
Lil' nugget was all tuckered out.
The Wanderer.
That evil that you met.
Could he be my father? That thing would've done anything to claim his ideal mate.
Even if it meant creating her himself.
Bo! Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine, really.
And you, young lady, you had me worried sick, - do you know that? - I'm sorry Moms.
We will deal with you later.
I see you and Hale worked things out.
Oh sister please, I never kiss and tell within earshot.
Or do-everything-and-tell- and-trust-me-we-did-everything.
Whoa! There's gotta be something left to drink in this place.
Uh, oh no, I feel incredibly bad and I have no idea but, it's Yule and apparently The Dark can't enter a house where the Light are celebrating Yule.
Not after midnight.
- It's not the Fae way.
- Tamsin.
Lauren left already with Vex.
Uh, she had to A: sober up and B: uh, sew his hand back on properly it's a really long story, but um, I'm not going in with those jerks.
I'm gonna stay with you.
No, no please go inside.
Really.
I need some time to myself.
Sort through a few things.
- No.
- Honestly, just go.
Well if you're gonna push me Oh! And I found this box on the bed next to Dyson, who's like totally passed out.
It has your name on it.
Dyson is not guilty of murder.
You are.
Blood King.
But you disappeared.
- Many think you're dead.
- I'd like to keep it that way.
He is the Blood King.
He is my grandfather.
Why hasn't he helped me figure out why I was taken? It's not fair.
He doesn't know about the mark on your chest.
She is more than we expected.
Hey doc, what you do you think about the uh Whoa.
- Should we help her? - No.
No, it's good for us I mean her.
I mean, I think it's therapeutic.
How many failed missions does this make? Girl really wants that hel shoe.
Goodbye, UnderFae guts.
Hello brewskies.
Hey, who do we pay for the gas? Leave the money on the counter.
We trust ya.
I got a good feeling about tonight.
- Me too.
- Me too.
Hmph.
Yule was a major event in my house.
We used to stay up all night hiding from Krampus.
I still remember the rhyme we'd say to ward him off.
- Oh yeah.
- Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Beast of Burden, fool's delight, spare me on this yuletide night.
Of course back then, Krampus would beat you with a stick before he threw you in his sack.
If I may Kenzi in her absence: who's got cramped-ass? Kram-pus.
He's like your Santa Claus only the complete opposite.
Oh, for one thing he slides down your chimney on the hottest night of the year.
Mmm sounds like my kind of elf.
Whoa, whoa are those are Yule candies for Krampus.
You're gonna be on his naughty list.
Oh bitch, I am the naughty list.
- Can't argue with that.
- Nope.
I am tired, you drive.
My god, I gotta get out of these wet clothes.
After you.
Ow! Life is hard when you don't know who you are.
It's harder when you don't know what you are.
My love carries a death sentence.
I was lost for years Searching, while hiding.
Only to find that I belong to a world hidden from humans.
I won't hide anymore.
I will live the life I choose.
4x08 - "Groundhog Fae" The Lord of Yule, the Son of Hel, to him our secrets we must tell.
Lest Krampus Eugh! Okay, enough Stephanie Meyer.
How about getting off your Kringle and help me put up some tinsel since summer Christmas was your idea? Yule is a sacred celebration of contrition, not some Franken-holiday concocted to sell melon ballers.
- You have Rudolph on your sweater.
- It's Eikpyrnir, the stag! He has a Red Nose! It's Rudolph.
Oh, welcome to Santa's workshop.
Ni hao.
How're all my favorite Nutcrackers? Tired.
We hit another dead end.
- Actually, it was an ogre.
- Huh.
Who knew finding a magical hel shoe could - be quite so difficult.
- Place looks great K-star.
Thanks.
So where's Hale? Who's Hale? I'm Krampus.
Get in my sack! Ou Whoa! Buy a girl a drink first, horny.
- Place looks great! - Thanks.
- Guess you've had your hands full.
- Not as full as they're gonna be.
- Ouu.
- Ahem.
Oh, uh okay people listen up! Bo-bo has been really stressed out lately so we want to show her a good time.
So I don't wanna see any Fa-la-la-la-lazy-ass - partying tonight! Got it? - Full on partying.
Got it.
That's right.
We have to show Bo we still love her.
Yes, that even though she's Dark - and suffering from Wanderer PTSD - That we are here for her.
That she is not alone.
- Yup.
- Here, here.
Oh gross.
How long was I out? I can't believe they just left me and I'm talking to myself, perfect.
Yes! S'up s'up.
You got the disease, Choga got the cure.
It's cash only but uh, for you, Choga work something out.
- What is a Choga? - Man, how you don't know Choga? I'm side to side, up and down the dial, yo.
So, uh, tick tock, you wanna ride the dragon or what? Was any of that English? Mmm you ain't never had a high so fly girl.
Let's not bother the nice lady.
Hi Bo.
Happy Yule.
- Thank you Bruce.
- Armpits is half-price! And now I'm tasting vomit and I just got here.
Yeah Choga could work around that.
Oi Choga, give us a lick.
- Is that what I think it is? - It was addressed to the Dark Archives c/o Bo in Bo's handwriting.
And not only did I not tell her about it, I kind of opened it.
Yeah, I can see that.
We can't give this to her.
Says you.
- Whoa, hey! - Hey! You guys scared the chi out of me.
- Dyson's fault.
- Sorry.
And what is with this party? Did everyone here lick Choga? I don't know, ask Vex they came to get her.
And thank you for growing my abandonment issues by leaving me alone in the car.
At least you have two hands! I mean, I've only one and fourteen more of these to drink.
- Is this my corset? - You can't own possessions! Kenzi! Bo - We're gonna need more booze.
- Agreed.
My Kenzi sense is tingling.
Damn girl.
Let me catch up.
- Oh no, it's probably just gas.
- Yeah, sexy gas.
- Daddy's gonna fill your tank.
- Excuse me? Ignore that.
I'll get it better next time.
Kenzi's door is locked, fine, but she's never been with a Fae before, you know? And Hale better behave himself, but still, can you believe she hasn't even come down to check on me? Oh, and speaking of inconsiderate hello, Lauren, Dyson the new Wonder Twins? - Am I right? - If you can't beat 'em Join 'em? I can't even get them to notice I was missing.
Again! Yule is the perfect occasion to confront one's fears.
Fears? Me? Please.
Okay so, maybe I'm running out of excuses to not get back on that train but why am I telling you all this? And who are you? Sometimes the answers are staring us in the face.
- Hilarious.
- Always kills at the orphanage.
Bo! You're here?! Tamsin? I am so sorry.
- What was that for? - Doesn't matter.
You're not going to remember any of this in two seconds.
- Opa! - Opa! What the F? Yes! S'up s'up.
You got the disease, Choga got the cure.
Seriously, what the hell did you slip me? Man, you know Choga.
I'm side to side, up and down the dial, yo.
So tick tock, you wanna ride the dragon or what? No no, we already did this.
Naw, Choga never forgets a tongue girl.
Let's not bother the nice lady, Choga.
- Hi Bo.
Happy Yule.
- Armpits is half price.
Thanks Bruce.
Again.
Yo! Valkyrie lips! What was that? You actually remember! I'm not alone! I can't believe this.
What is going on? In about three seconds Fugly over there calls Brunette by the wrong name.
You're so hot, Christie.
- That's not my name.
- Oh, Carrie.
- It's Jeanette.
- I was way off.
Lady Roids makes it about two more sips before Fire in the hole.
Oh good god, I can smell that from here.
She's a Sasquatch.
She probably ate like a hundred kittens.
Andduck.
I said duck.
How long have you been doing Groundhog Day? And haven't you tried telling anyone? Like, oh my gosh I didn't even think about that like a hundred times! Hey you, I know this is gonna sound crazy but we are stuck in some sort of quantum paradox the same night keeps repeating over and over again.
Yule Fools! Thanks asshat, and good luck with that rash.
- What? - You'll find out.
No matter who I tell I get the same reaction.
Over and over.
Nothing Until you and I kissed.
Mmm.
- Nada.
- Speak for yourself.
Anyway.
Maybe you need to do it with someone you have a connection with.
Have you talked to Lauren or Dyson You mean the same people that left me in the car, alone? Besides I already went upstairs.
They're being weird with Vex.
And Kenzi hasn't even come to check on me.
Please, that girl's stuck from Hale to Eternity.
Besides, for them it's just party as usual.
They are not stuck in the loop.
Say opa.
- What? - Three-two-one Opa! 'Cause this song just gets better and better He is getting a rash.
Everywhere.
Oh yeah! We can drink to that.
- S'up s'up.
- Bruce.
Bruce? Yo, whatchyou calling that meat mountain for? He can't fill your prescription! You know what screw it.
I am calling time out on hel shoes, on being Dark, all of it.
Everyone here is having fun.
Now it is my turn.
Starting with him.
Oh yeah, I got to him about fifteen repeats ago.
Well that settles it.
Time to get our Yule on.
Yeah! - Here? In front of everybody? - Oh they won't remember.
Besides: tell me this wasn't on your list.
To commence the annual Yule drinking game we shall drink to decide whether or not we tell Bo about the box.
Agreed? - Agreed.
- Pros.
Okay, well Bo is always very big on the truth.
True.
Cons.
Cons: We may lose Bo to the big locomotive in the sky forever.
Well as somebody who knows Bo beyond her rack size - and underwear line - Oo, burn! I think that the best course of action is some caution.
Because although I love her, you know she is sometimes a very sexy bull in a China shop.
Well as someone who sacrificed his love to save Bo's life Oh, wow god, really.
Boring.
- Hi.
- rather than lying to her - countless times - Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
- A-mazing! Let me just say that I've learned that Bo can handle herself.
And it is never a good idea to get in the way of Bo's destiny.
Oh, should I tell Bo Bo doesn't love me Come on, let's figure out what to do with the mystery package and settle the enigma of the most boring threesome ever once and for all! Present your cases to me! And I shall deliberate! What do you think? I probably think the opposite of whatever you think.
Granted.
But you realize we're about to listen to Vex.
Right? Who is sorts kinda Bo's pet now.
C'mon now.
Come to Team Vex.
Where yee shall be judged, most worthy of Bo's box.
Round and round we go where she stops nobody knows.
Kenzi was pretty bummed when you left.
Yeah I just needed to find my kind.
Other Valkyries.
- Find myself, if you will.
- Did you? - I have a lot to amend for.
- Oh.
Who doesn't.
Happy Yule, Valkryie.
Bo, there's something I need to talk to you about Well that's new.
- And definitely bad.
- Opa? Holy shit.
Good, stick together.
S'up s'up.
You got the disease, Choga You think Mama Choga wanted you to leave the lilypad to be a sweat peddler? Huh? You're better than this! And stay away from the walls! Okay, I have looked everywhere.
Grey-hair McCutie is gone.
Okay, well whatever took him must have something to do with the time shifts.
Okay, you think this has something to do with me? Because everything terrible 'round here usually has to do with me.
No.
Chill.
Tamsin, okay? Has anyone else gone missing since you've been here? I don't know.
I just thought everyone got drunk and took off.
Bruce.
He was here, helping me lift amphibian-arms out of my way.
And now he'sgone.
Yeah, but like Bruce is like gamma ray huge! - What or who could of - Suck him into a walls? Okay, tell me everything you remember before you got to the party.
Did you piss off a wizard or something along your travels? No, no I took the 43 bus, got off at the gas station, I got a pack of gum, and I came straight here.
I swear.
Okay, well we need to stop this thing before it - snatches someone else.
- Ok, um How? I don't know.
Normally in these situations I just ask - Trick! - Trick! He should be easy to find he's wearing one helluva a sweater.
First time I saw Bo? I knew she was special.
- And trouble.
- No argument here.
Mm-hmm.
Amen.
But if I hadn't been there to give her the old Wolf-Chi power up she would not have survived those trials.
Puh-lease.
Hahaha, so in a way I'm responsible for her still being here so I should choose what to do with her box the box.
- Objection! - Nah.
No, a point for trying to win.
But minus a point for not noticing my jubblies in this bra.
I'm not playing that game.
When I first met Bo she didn't even know her hole from an ass in the ground.
She was all like "I'm a killer, get in my way and I'm gonna kill you that's what killers do.
" That's right.
And then I curbed her hunger.
And then she was like "maybe I'm okay, I'm not so bad".
And I love her also, so I think that we should just throw the box in a big old fire, voilá.
The Doctor, thank you very much, rests! Agh, Bo gets kidnapped by mysterious black smoke, sends herself an ominous package - why are we fighting about this? - I don't know, Dyson.
- I don't know anything.
- Neither do I.
How is it that even you love somebody so much and Let them down? - Exactly.
- Still working on that one too.
Come here you.
- C'mon Doctor.
- Hah.
Hug it out.
Been a long time.
Give it to me.
Give me some love.
Give me some love.
- Okay.
- Oi - Okay.
- So what does the genius get, you know, who organized this little Kumbaya? You get your hand re-attached.
By me.
Rrright now.
Drunkin' surgery.
I'll be the nurse.
- Ou.
- Oo, this is getting kinky Oh, Trick.
Trick, you have no idea how good it is to see you.
You can't prove I did that.
Wow.
Okay, easy does it.
- How long I been out? - What is the last thing you remember? I was helping Kenzi with the decorations and the doorbell kept ringing, and something about? Oprah!!! - You're pretty.
- Okay, look you have to listen to me.
This is going to sound outrageous but you must believe me.
Of course.
You're my grand-dubus.
My succu-daughter.
Okay, we're stuck in some sort of a time loop.
Time keeps repeating.
I need water.
Mmm.
It gets worse.
Okay.
People are disappearing.
One we know of for sure but there could be more.
We need your help Opa!! Oh, I hope Kenzi's having better luck than I am.
My Kenzi sense is tingling.
I'm gonna mingle with your tingle like I'm single, girl.
Say what now? It does not smell amazing in here.
My Kenzi sense is tingling.
I feel it too, it's like a burning sensation.
Huh? These aren't mine.
- My Kenzi sense is tingling.
- That's just my love train, pulling into your tunnel of love.
Dammit! I would have died a thousand deaths just to meet you, yet now that I have, I want to live forever.
- That's the one.
- That's the one? - Mm-hmm.
Okay, um, a little, ya know, first-time-with-a-Fae-box from Bo.
Okay Oh wow.
That's prepared.
We've got edible, non-edible, fat-free, firm, fire-proof, fig flavoured and Look, if you don't wanna do this.
Oh, no I-I do.
Believe me.
I do.
Kenzi and Hale, take sixty-seven.
Okay, ninth time's the charm, c'mon Trick! Concentrate! You can't prove I did that.
Okay, we're in a time loop the walls are eating people, help! Oh this this izbad.
What? Una Mens bad? Smoke-nappers bad? Six more weeks of winter bad? What!? Yule fools! - He's useless to us.
- You're pretty.
- I know.
- He's been useless.
Look, I've been wanting to say this for a while.
I know that you haven't helped me find the Wanderer.
Why? Because I'm terrified.
What aren't you telling me? Okay, I don't mean to rush you but Opa! Oh dammit, Trick.
Who else knows about Yule.
Hale! Something is going on, we're in danger, it could be Una Mens.
We've tried this already.
And nobody is taking us seriously.
Nah, Una Mens ain't dumb enough to cause trouble on Yule.
Hell, they're probably off playing kissyface under the mistletoe.
Please don't tell them I said that.
Well whoever it is, we need all hands on deck.
Where's Kenzi? Off freshen up.
Again.
Opa! Comet, Cupid and Blitzen.
You know about the loop? You're in on it?! Haha, Krampus got both of you too? Oh man, he's got skills.
Hold up.
This entire thing is just some stupid holiday prank? - Seriously? - Krampus? You mean that Anti-Claus Fae you guys we're talking about? Yeah, every year he picks a few Yule fools to repeat the night.
- It's totally harmless.
- Harmless? We just saw some guy get sucked into the wallpaper.
- What? - No, no Krampus feeds on regret.
That's why he puts people in the loop; sooner or later they'll get into all kinds of trouble.
Hey Kiebler, what the hell's going on here? You call this a Yule party? No fruit? No offerings to Vanir? No wassailing.
And this this has no business here Oh now we gettin' all up in each other's business?! This mangy cur is not Eikpyrnir, the stag.
- It's Rudolph!! - I knew it!! Trick has got to hear this.
- Bo-bo, where you been? - Where have I been? Hey, buddy.
I'm starting to think that you were not technically invited Krampusnacht is a night people should revere You'll rue the day you thought to desecrate the Yule Lord! Bo, watch out! Sweet Christmas.
- Kenzie? - Upstairs safe with Trick.
Was that shitty Santa? Whats his name.
Krampus? Krampus ain't supposed to space suck people.
No, he-he's just a kindly old prankster who whisks naughty children off in his sack to Candyland.
Yeah well apparently he's really stepped up his game this year.
- How do I find him? - Uh, we go back to wherever we showed up on his radar, I guess.
Which could be anywhere.
Okay, Tamsin stopped to buy gum.
She got off the number 43 bus - Which goes right by - The gas station.
Oh god, what if something happens to her? Stay calm.
If we got one thing on our side it's time.
Remember? God, Hale why the hell would you put yourself through this voluntarily? Wait? You and Kenzi? God, that is just skeevy.
Ow-ow-ow.
It's the opposite of skeevy! Okay, look I had a chance to perfect my game.
So to speak.
I swear I was going to tell her.
- I think you just did.
- What? Who's the Yule fool now, hm? No wait, just leave her.
In a few minutes she won't remember - any of this anyway.
Right? - Maybe.
But that doesn't make it right.
Opa! Thanks for the part-ay.
Why am I itchy? I didn't start back in the car.
What happened? Are we done repeating the loop? What does this mean? It means Krampus has found someone with enough regret to tide him over.
And as for us, we're back to normal time.
So life continues; without Tamsin.
Oh, I've gotta get to that gas station.
You stay here and protect everybody else.
Whoa Bo.
Blade of steel, hilt of bone.
Yuletide Eve, you must atone.
Look, Krampus may be a joke but that doesn't make him harmless.
Thank you.
I'll pee on the post.
All right, all right.
Whoa, whoa - Here it is, here it is.
- Are you sure you know what you're doing? Are you kidding me? She could do an emergency brainoplasty with both hands tied behind her back.
That is not a thing, but thank you.
Please, can you please confirm that this is your hand.
I'm going to need more sedatives.
Hey, honestly what are we doing with Bo's box? Well obviously we can't give it to her.
Why obviously? Because Dyson, if I said green, you'd say purple, to get my goat.
I don't want your goat.
I can get any goat I want.
I'm a good goat-catcher Oh, you both want the same goat.
We get it already.
What you two don't get.
Is that you don't hate each other anymore.
- Okay, what's in this stuff? - A whole lotta truth and a little Choga sweat.
Woohoo! You know, he's right though.
I haven't hated you for a long time.
You're the only one that gets my predicament, Wolfie.
And you make me laugh.
To us.
To Bo.
To drunken surgery.
Gah! Ouu mmmm.
Get away from me.
I gotta put that on you.
Tamsin?! Tamsin? Are you here? Tamsin? Oh, and it's back in the car again.
Come to stuff my stocking with your Yule log again, stud? I'm so sorry lil mama, that was stupid.
- So how many times did we? - No, none.
Not once; I swear.
I mean we came close a couple times but we never Connected? Look I just wanted to make this night perfect, you know? Look dude, I dig you.
But be real.
You're Fae, I'm human.
It's never gonna be perfect.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
- I just didn't want to disappoint you.
- Are you kidding me? The Casanova of Clan Zamora? I've never done this before.
With someone I really care about.
Whoa.
- Where are you going? - To freshen up.
Everyone deserves a second chance.
There's no rush.
We have time.
What the hell is this place? - Tamsin? - Oh hey, Bo! How you doing? - I'm gonna get you out of here.
- No.
It's okay.
I've been naughty but now I'm gonna be candy!! I already broke the machine once.
Now I have to wait to be candy! Okay, brainwashed Betty.
Listen up: have you been naughty? Yes, who hasn't? But you are a good person.
And despite all, you are my friend.
And I'm not leaving you behind! If they make me into a lollipop, I want you to have the first lick.
Alright, that is it.
I'm getting you out of here.
Eugh! Those are on too tight.
I need something to stop the Eugh.
Hale I could kiss you.
Eugh! Okay come on, let's go.
- You're not going anywhere.
- And why would we want to? Silly girls.
This is the belly of Yule.
This is where sour becomes sweet.
And naughty becomes nice.
Uh, no this is where the succubus goes bad Santa on your badly camoflage'd ass.
Because all this? - This is just Bad Christmas! - Blasphemer! The Valkryie is mine by the ancient laws of Yule.
Oh, yeah? Well by the powers vested in me by merry old Saint Nick, I say she's coming with me.
Fine.
Take her.
If you can.
Come on.
Ou! Tamsin I'm going to need your help, I can't do this without you.
But if they make me candy, then I can't hurt anyone anymore.
- Then everyone will like me.
- I like you You won't like me when I confess the truth.
I'm the reason the Wanderer found you.
In a previous life I hunted Fae fugitives for a price.
I was a Valkyrie.
I was the best.
And I was greedy.
One look into his eyes and I knew I'd never really met true evil.
Not until then.
I told my self I was powerless to refuse this beast so I accepted his bounty to find a woman.
I took comfort that the girl he described couldn't possibly exist.
Eyes both brown and blue.
Virtuous, yet lustful.
Neither Dark nor Light, yet both.
So you see.
You weren't supposed to be real.
And the fact that I helped that monster find you Hey, Tamsin, listen to me.
None of that matters now.
Do you understand? Hey, I forgive you.
So, no respect for the old ways? We'll see about that.
Buddy, you are ten pounds of crazy in a two pound bag.
Admit you ate it.
Admit it! Whoa, whoa whoa, that's what this is all about? We're here because we ate your gas station people candy? People used to cower at the mere mention of Krampus.
They just need a reminder.
Well Krampus, or whatever the hell your name is He's not Krampus I am! Ta-da.
Ta-da.
Holy shit.
Hold that thought.
- You promised this would be my year! - Silence! Children are such a delight, aren't they? But they get a little bit more over zealous when they try to please.
Now what seems to be the bother? Uh, the bother, is that Jeffrey over here is trying to turn my friends into human gobstoppers.
So go wonka-fy someone else coz that ain't happening.
Jeffrey, is this true? They're both worthy offerings but I choose her.
- Aww Lucky.
- You choose her? Tut-tut-tut, ladies please.
A sacrifice must be made.
The laws on this are clear.
Yes, yes I see.
Again, allow me to apologize for the boy, he has a little bit of growing to do.
Growing nevermind.
You can go.
And you.
- You too! - I'm telling Mom What the hell did you do to them? Oh, I set them free of course.
So why am I still here? There's darkness in you my child, enough to make candy for centuries; maybe even longer.
And the guilt.
The denial.
Complex emotions make the best candy.
You, my little succubus I have never made blue candy before.
Let me go and I'll consider letting you live.
No, it's better like this.
You see, you won't be breaking any more hearts; no more hurting anyone.
You'll just bring sweetness to everyone you meet.
Is that supposed to scare me? Sour becomes Sweet.
Naughty is Nice.
Guilt becomes Glue and Denial is a river in Africa.
I am not afraid of you! Believe me child when I tell you only the truth shall set you free.
How can you be pure when you will not confront your fears? Okay! Yes, I'm scared.
Is that what you want to hear? Aha I'm scared of making the wrong choice.
Of losing my friends my family again.
- I'm terrified of what I'll become.
- Ooo! I'm terrified of what I'm capable of.
I'm terrified of the Wanderer and what he'll make me!! Aha! I'm scared.
Really, really scared.
You don't have to be.
I've got you.
Let's go home.
- Are we still? - It's okay.
Everything's back to normal.
Or at least what you call normal in this crazy place.
- Bruce? - Passed out in your bed.
Lil' nugget was all tuckered out.
The Wanderer.
That evil that you met.
Could he be my father? That thing would've done anything to claim his ideal mate.
Even if it meant creating her himself.
Bo! Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine, really.
And you, young lady, you had me worried sick, - do you know that? - I'm sorry Moms.
We will deal with you later.
I see you and Hale worked things out.
Oh sister please, I never kiss and tell within earshot.
Or do-everything-and-tell- and-trust-me-we-did-everything.
Whoa! There's gotta be something left to drink in this place.
Uh, oh no, I feel incredibly bad and I have no idea but, it's Yule and apparently The Dark can't enter a house where the Light are celebrating Yule.
Not after midnight.
- It's not the Fae way.
- Tamsin.
Lauren left already with Vex.
Uh, she had to A: sober up and B: uh, sew his hand back on properly it's a really long story, but um, I'm not going in with those jerks.
I'm gonna stay with you.
No, no please go inside.
Really.
I need some time to myself.
Sort through a few things.
- No.
- Honestly, just go.
Well if you're gonna push me Oh! And I found this box on the bed next to Dyson, who's like totally passed out.
It has your name on it.