Monarch Of The Glen (2000) s04e08 Episode Script

( thunderclap ) I can feel a presence.
That would be Duncan.
He's outside the door.
And he's supposed to be fixing the generator, - not earwigging on his Auntie Liz.
- Duncan: all right, Lex.
It was very sweet of him to arrange this for me.
You really shouldn't have put yourself to all this trouble.
No trouble.
A wedding anniversary is a wedding anniversary, in this world and the next.
Hector was never very good at things like anniversaries.
Try calling him.
He wasn't much good at listening, either.
We've made contact.
S O A P.
Does that mean something to you? ( Lexie giggling ) Sorry, that was me.
Shopping list.
Oh thanks, Duncan.
Hector MacDonald, are you there? Probably gone fishing or something.
No, no, there's someone trying to get through.
He has a message, an urgent message.
A warning.
( rattling ) What is it? I don't know.
( theme music playing ) Archie? ( door closes ) Archie? - Hi.
- ( gasps ) Was that just you there? No, this is me.
Why, what's wrong? I've just got this feeling that some- oh, nothing.
Why are you not in the office? Well, I thought I'd take a couple of days off.
Ooh, what's brought this on? Well, the death duties are paid, the wolf park's doing okay, we all seem to be talking to one another.
There's not a cloud on the horizon.
So what are we gonna do then? Come and see.
Jamie's room? Yeah, we did the right thing clearing it, but we can't leave it like this.
It's neither one thing nor the other.
I want to redecorate.
Archie, we can't afford decorators just now.
No, I'll do it myself.
- ( laughs ) you? - Any objections? You don't know your Artex from your elbow.
- Thank you.
- And what about the estate? And the village art show? They don't run by themselves.
Well, I had hoped that my beautiful and talented wife might do that.
This'll only take a couple of days.
And the rest.
And you can't have Duncan and Golly to help you.
- I'll need them.
- No, I'll do it on my own.
There is no way that you're gonna be able to decorate this without any help.
I'd put money on it.
All right, you're on.
Let's say dinner for two at a restaurant of the winner's choice.
I'll start looking at the good food guide.
Okay.
You don't have to run away.
I'm- I'm not.
Yes, you are, and you have been for the last week.
If you'd give me a chance to explain.
What is there to explain? My so-called girlfriend's pregnant and won't tell me who the father is.
Seems pretty clear to me.
Duncan, I understand how you feel.
Oh, do you? that's good, because I don't.
In fact, right now, I have absolutely no idea how I feel.
All I know is that I don't even want to be in the same room as you.
I'm sorry.
Are you all right? I'm gonna be sick, so unless you want to watch morning.
I'm sorry if I've interrupted something.
No, you're all right, Golly, we're finished.
- What are you doing? - Tidying up.
Your painting things.
I haven't managed to finish a single thing since I did that portrait of your father.
So I'm hanging up my brushes and turning in my turpentine.
You can't give up painting.
You've always loved it.
I'm not giving up painting.
Painting's giving up me.
I sometimes think I only did it to get away from your father.
No need to do that now.
What about the art competition? you've entered that for years.
There'll be plenty of entries without mine.
Did you want something? Oh, yeah, I wondered if you might go and see Andrew Booth.
You know, welcome him to Glenbogle.
I'd go myself but I'm gonna be busy redecorating.
Redecorating? Are you sure that's a good idea? Oh, hi, Lexie.
- Have you got a minute? - Uh-huh, come in.
- That was some show.
- Sorry? That banging outside the window, it was quite scary.
How did you do that? How did I do what? You know, the flash of light.
I'm sure that I saw someone or something out there.
So there was a ghost.
Oh, Lexie.
There are no ghosts at Glenbogle.
Have you never heard of Robert MacDonald? Yeah, but that was a story just made up for the tourists.
The ghost of the first laird always appears at times of trouble for the family.
So where has he been for the past few years? - Do you not know the story? - No.
Robert MacDonald married a serving girl, Mhari, who worked for the family.
A year and a day later he disappeared.
All his young bride found was a charred corpse.
You're making this up.
No, I've a book somewhere that tells you all about it.
I'll lend it to you if you like.
Oh, Lexie, would you do me a favor? I'm secretary for the Highland Spiritualist and Clairvoyant Circle.
I'm up for re-election, and if I could just show the girls Robert MacDonald okay, okay, why not? Bring them round for dinner tomorrow night.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Is anyone actually serving here? Gordon runs the post office as well, so you never can tell.
We haven't met, I'm Archie MacDonald.
Andrew Booth, pleased to meet you.
You must be the one who's moved into Golly's croft.
You've probably no idea how much of a favor you've done us all.
- Really? - Mmm.
I hope you'll be throwing yourself into village life.
Come to the art show- my family organizes it.
Might even enter it.
Oh, really? Are you an artist? No, enthusiastic amateur.
You must enter it.
There's no shortage of space.
- I'll get you the details.
- Thanks.
And if there's anything else we can do just ask.
There is one thing.
I'm looking for someone to do some cleaning for me.
Duncan- he works on the estate- his aunt sometimes does some cleaning.
- I'll get her to come and see you.
- Thanks.
Morning, Gordon.
( car horn honking ) Oh, he runs the garage as well.
If you're looking for the walking trail you're in the wrong direction.
Oh, you're joking, aren't you? - Back that way is it? - It is.
I'm only trying to get a shot of a waterfall.
I work for a postcard company and I'm putting together this new Highlands Collection for them.
If you're interested in giving us a hand, there's a drink in it for you.
I've already got a job, thank you.
You don't work at Glenbogle House, do you? - What's it to you? - I want to get some pictures there.
Ah, well, you need to speak to the estate office for that.
Oh, right, that'll be Irene Stuart, isn't it? No, it isn't.
It's Archie MacDonald.
You sure? I spoke to a guy in the village and he gave us Irene's name.
Oh, well, my mistake, eh? Found a fella looking over the loch today.
Mm-hmm.
Said he was a photographer.
That someone had given him your name as a contact here.
- Why would they do that? - You tell me.
What's he look like? About 40, dark gray hair, pretty good looking I suppose, Glasgow accent.
- You sure? - Somebody you know? No, no, it was probably a mistake.
Yeah, yeah, that's what he said.
So there's no reason why somebody should be looking for you? - No, of course not.
- So what's wrong? I just haven't been feeling too well, that's all.
Ah.
Sorry to hear that.
Well, I hope you'll be feeling better soon.
Thanks.
You're not allowed to interrupt.
I've just come in to see how you were getting on.
Lex, you're in the way.
Did you choose the wallpaper? - It's over there.
- Let's see.
( laughing ) What's this? Sheep.
And who'll be sleeping in here? Little Bo Peep? This has always been a child's bedroom, it's tradition.
You must know something I don't.
No, but if this is going to be the nursery we'll need to redecorate sooner or later.
And I don't get any say in this? What, you don't like sheep? I don't have a problem with sheep.
- It's you, getting all broody on me.
- I am not.
Right, so why else do you spend the only time that you've had off in months building a wee nest? Fine, don't tell me then.
I want this to stop being Jamie's old room.
I suppose this is one way of doing it.
And besides, we're bound to have children sooner or later.
Well, later would do me.
I'm not in any rush.
I guess I always thought that once we were married, then maybe we'd be ready.
You might be.
Just don't go ordering any cot just yet.
( thumping ) Hi.
come in.
I'm Molly MacDonald, I'm your neighbor.
You must be Mrs.
Booth.
Oh, no, Andrew's in the bedroom.
Maybe this isn't a good time.
No, no, it's okay.
- Andrew! - ( water running ) He's washing, he got ever so dirty.
Oh! I'll come back later.
Andrew, how do you want me? Are you all right with that? I've just got to move it so I can paper behind it.
Do you want me to give you a hand? No, no.
I told Lexie I'd do all the decorating by myself.
That's not decorating, son, that's plumbing.
Are you sure you don't want me to help? No thank you.
I want to prove to Lexie that I'm not completely useless when it comes to doing something practical.
I think you'd better go and turn the water off then.
Yes.
- How's it going? - Great.
Are you managing all right by yourself? Yeah, no problem.
Yeah, little accident.
Oh, I do have one request.
Could you paint "Wayne" on the door? Why? You get to choose the wallpaper, so I get to choose our baby's name.
Wayne? And if it's a girl, then we can cross out the W and put J.
You know, it'll be dead classy.
It'll be like Jayne with a Y.
Oh, listen, and while you're at it, could you decorate a few more rooms? I mean, why stop at one kid? I'm thinking more seven, eight, or- ( thumping ) What was that? I thought I heard someone.
Maybe it's the ghost of Glenbogle.
Forget it.
I wish I could, but Duncan's aunt gets out her Ouija board and all of a sudden we're in the middle of the Blair Witch Project.
- Okay, okay, there's no one there.
- Thank you.
I met Andrew Booth earlier.
I thought we should invite him over to dinner.
I'll be busy of course, but you could look after him.
Are you going to invite his little friend? Golly thought he seemed to be on his own.
Not if you count nubile brunettes.
Oh, Archie, she could sit beside you, you could talk about sheepy wallpaper.
You mean you haven't actually met him? No.
he was otherwise engaged.
You know, if it wasn't for him and Golly, then we could have lost everything.
Fine, if you really think it's that important, I'll go and see him tomorrow.
Unless you'd rather I went tonight? Before you start, there's something I'd like to say and I'd prefer to tell you all together.
Some of you do know this already but I'm having a baby.
I've thought things through and I think it's best all round if I leave here.
I'd like to do that as soon as possible.
Enjoy your meal.
This is crazy.
If you and Irene are having a baby we should be celebrating.
- It's not Duncan's.
- Oh.
right.
Thanks for that.
What was that all about? They're my employers.
They've got a right to know.
How can you let them know when you don't know yourself? I do, I've made a decision.
I know what I'm doing.
- But you can't leave.
- I can.
The baby's father, he's coming to look for me.
I'm not ready to see him.
That's running away.
If you're not interested in this guy anymore, - why don't you just tell him? - It's not as easy as that.
Ah, so maybe you are still interested.
I'm sorry, I should have told you first.
but we can't go on like this, can we? No.
So that's it.
Good night, Irene.
So what are you celebrating? Life being so great.
I know what you mean.
I haven't worked in six months - still.
What is it you do? - I'm the red danger.
- Eh? I'm the head ranger.
Oh, yeah, and where do you do that then? At Glenbogle.
Irene Stuart works there, doesn't she? How's she doing? I haven't seen her in ages.
- You know Irene? - Oh yes, we go way back.
So why are you here now? Kind of personal, you know? Look, I'll get you another drink.
Hang on! You turn up, and Irene says she's leaving.
Oh, I get the picture, pal! How did I get here? How do you think? I scraped you up off the floor.
I'm not hungry.
Put it on the bruise.
( moaning ) - How are you feeling? - Stupid.
Well, it wasn't exactly your finest hour.
Anything we can do to help? I don't want help.
I want some people to show some respect.
- We do that.
- Irene? She does, too.
She's just trying to not make things worse for you.
She's going away with that bloke.
No, no, no she's going to her parents.
That's what she told us.
I don't want her to go anywhere.
I know, Dunc.
Why's she going? Maybe she doesn't want to bring up a baby on her own.
It's gonna be hard enough for the kid not having a father.
( door latch rattles ) Archie? ( crashing ) Archie? ( electricity buzzing ) - What're you doing? - ( gasps ) The stag's head fell off the wall.
Well, you probably banged the bedroom door once too often.
- Why are you not in bed? - I had to finish the undercoat.
It's the middle of the night.
I was getting behind schedule.
Look.
Where did they come from? I probably walked through some plaster or something.
But they stop dead here.
You don't think that's odd? No, I think it's a couple of minutes work with the hoover.
Archie, something's going on.
Something weird.
Yes, it's the middle of the night, we're standing in the hall talking about stag's heads and dust on the carpet.
Let's go to bed.
You know all of this hearing things? Maybe you're imagining it because you're upset.
Why would I be upset? Because of what we were talking about earlier.
I mean, children.
I'm sorry, but I thought it was something that we both wanted.
Yeah, it is.
From as early as I can remember, I grew up with my mother telling me about all the things I stopped her from doing.
I know she loved me in her own way but I knew she resented me being there almost just as much.
I want to choose when I'm ready.
Okay.
I brought you some tea.
So what was the fight about? You.
it was your ex.
What did he say? I can't remember.
Do you know something? You're the first man ever to get into a fight over me.
I would anytime.
- What, so you can get beaten up? - no.
So we could be together.
I love you, Irene.
Duncan, you know I have to go.
You don't.
You don't have to keep on running away.
You could stay and have the baby here, and I could be the dad.
We're great together, it'd work.
I don't know what to say.
Well, you don't have to say yes just now, but you could just think about it.
I will.
I promise.
By the way, I'm Molly.
Yes, Archie told me all about you.
Pleased to meet you.
Come in, come in.
You've got quite a lot to sort out.
Well, it'll be easier now you're here.
Could you unpack those, put them on that shelf? Oh, is this your daughter? No, that's my wife.
She'll be joining you here? I shouldn't think so, she died five years ago.
Oh, these must be your children.
- Yes, some of them.
- How many have you got? Four or five.
Look, perhaps it's best if I did this.
Perhaps you could make a start on the bathroom.
I'm afraid it's in a terrible state.
You want me to clean the bathroom? No, I want you to do the whole house.
We should talk about terms.
I could offer you four pounds an hour.
I've got to dash now, I'll pay you when I come back and then we'll talk about references, okay? Good, thank you.
I'll see you later.
- From Golly.
- Thank you.
Do you want a hand in here? No, no.
No need.
Have you got time? Well, Lexie wants me to set up the art show but she's not here, so I don't have to.
How do you fancy a spot of redecorating? Lexie, she doesn't need to know.
- Okay.
- Great.
- So how are you feeling? - great.
You know, what you said last night about Irene not wanting to bring up the baby on her own? You were right.
I talked to her, so I'm gonna be the father.
Oh, great, so she's staying? I've been thinking about it all morning.
I think I'd be a fantastic dad.
Good at all the important things.
You know, pulling faces, comics and- so Irene is definitely staying? That's not what she said last night.
Oh yeah, yeah, definitely thinking about it.
I mean, why would she not want to stay? It's a great place to bring up a kid.
Yeah, it's pretty good, yeah.
How many - how many people have you told about this? You, Auntie Liz.
If I were you, I wouldn't tell too many more until it's a little bit more definite.
Oh, it's definite.
It's gonna happen.
I'm gonna make it happen.
Lexie: So the stag's head falls off the wall and then there's these ghostly footprints that lead to nowhere.
That's not usually a good sign.
What can I do? I can't speak to Archie about it 'cause he thinks I'm mad already.
If it's Robert MacDonald, he'll be telling you someone's in danger.
But who? Why not ask the tarot cards? They'll tell us for sure.
I don't believe in all that stuff.
But the day before yesterday you didn't believe in ghosts.
So do you think you'll get this finished by tomorrow? Should do, if there aren't any more problems.
- ( electricity crackles ) - Aah! - You all right? - You know, these wires are still live.
They shouldn't be.
I'll go and check.
Be careful, we've had enough shocks for one week.
The fool.
That must be me then.
No, that's not a person in that position.
It's a prediction.
It means expect the unexpected.
The wheel of fortune.
That means there's gonna be a change in your life, a big change.
Everything turned upside down.
And could this change maybe involve having a baby? - Not you, too? - No, no, not at all.
What about the other cards? The emperor, now that means a ruler or a figure of authority.
Like a laird? So that must be Archie.
Well, maybe, but you have to remember the cards never have just the one meaning.
But something's going to happen to Archie.
What is it? Dunc, can you turn the power off? - You seen Archie? - No.
Is he upstairs working? Yeah, on his own, without any help from anyone else.
Where's Archie? He's doing something in the attic.
Oh, right.
Oh, not again.
- I'll go and check the fuse box.
- Thanks.
Archie? Archie? Don't.
- What? - It's too dangerous.
It's a simple piece of rewiring, Lex.
Duncan: The power's off, Arch.
No! He said the power was off.
It doesn't look like it, does it? Auntie Liz read my tarot cards.
- You were going to die.
- Well done, Liz.
What's the point trying to finish a nursery for your children if you're gonna kill yourself doing it? All right, all right, I'll be careful.
Anyway, I thought we weren't having children.
Golly: Yep, there he is.
Do you want a look? I suppose I'd better get it over with.
It's not him.
Does that help? I don't know.
You know, Duncan's asked me to stay here with him.
He says he'll be the father.
What about you? I just want what's best for the baby.
You don't sound too sure.
I'd love to do that but it just doesn't seem right somehow.
Oh, I don't know what's right anymore.
You know that- you know that none of us want to see you go.
Thanks.
If we finish the windows and the ceiling today, then all we have to do tomorrow is the rest of the wallpaper and the second coat of gloss.
And the radiator and the cleaning up.
Yeah, but that won't take any time.
This bet is as good as won.
Ladies, would you like some wine? - Thank you.
- Thanks.
- Some wine? - No, thank you.
Did they leave all their broomsticks by the door? - Shh, they'll hear you.
- Ooh, they might turn me into a toad.
You're halfway there already.
I shall be upstairs finishing the gloss.
Archie, is there any sherry? One of the ladies is asking for it.
I'll go and get it.
Duncan.
Duncan, this is Mrs.
Munroe, she's a water diviner.
Could you possibly show her where the loo is? She's having trouble finding it.
Good evening.
Oh, hello, you work here as well? - All the time.
- Great, thanks.
- Sorry.
- Clumsy.
Hi, Andrew, I'm Lexie, Archie's wife.
- Hello, how are you? - Hi, I see you've met Molly already.
Yes, yes, yes.
I hope she'll be doing some cleaning for me.
Molly's useless at cleaning.
Well I did wonder, but Archie recommended her.
Said Duncan's aunt needed- ah, no, Molly is Archie's mother.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
I've made rather a fool of myself.
Never mind, I'm sure it's not the first time.
So I assume you won't be taking the job? No, though from what I've seen, you're not short of willing scrubbers.
I'm so glad you two have met.
Only wish I could say the same.
Sherry? - How's it going? - Another five minutes.
This probably isn't the best time to ask, but Duncan seems to think that you'll be staying here.
I haven't made up my mind yet.
Okay, okay, just let us know when you decide.
Maybe I should stay.
If you do, there'll be no going back.
If you change your mind, then you'll break his heart.
'Caused a lot of trouble hasn't it, for something so small? Yes, but it'll be worth it.
I nearly forgot.
Somebody left this for you on the doorstep.
Oh, thanks.
What were you watching? The world's worst wedding video.
This is my wedding.
That's Ian.
What happened? Couldn't go through with it.
I ran away and ended up here.
- is he the father? - yeah.
And he's found out that I'm here.
This arrived today.
Does he know about the baby? No.
No.
Well, he doesn't have to.
Maybe you're right.
I humiliated him in front of his family and all his friends.
I'm really not very good news, you know.
I seem to mess up people's lives.
Not mine.
I hope you left some for me.
They've finished what's on their plates and all the leftovers.
You mean my dinner's in the coven? They're a bunch of happy mediums.
So how's your entry for the art competition coming along? Slowly, but I hope it'll be ready in time.
Oh, do you paint? Sculpture's more my thing.
How about you? A little.
In between cleaning assignments.
She's brilliant.
She's won the competition for the past five years.
Let me guess, watercolors.
Oh, and what is the matter with watercolors? Nothing as long as they're not those insipid, wishy-washy landscapes.
My specialty.
That's better than those sad people who paint portraits of their pets.
Do you often have spiritualists to dinner? Oh, no, this is a one off.
Lexie thinks we've got a ghost, so she's invited Liz and the weird sisters to frighten it away.
There is a ghost.
We keep it with the fairies from the bottom of the garden and the leprechaun we found at the end of the rainbow.
- Don't listen to him.
- We don't have a ghost.
I think we all have ghosts- things that keep us awake at night, those private troubles that we don't talk to anyone else about.
Yeah, but they don't walk around with sheets over their heads getting conjured up by ladies of a certain age with too much time on their hands.
In my experience, you can never be too sure what form they'll take.
( thunderclap ) Well, it's been a most memorable evening.
I hope we meet again soon.
That may be difficult to avoid.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Archie, Archie, I want to enter that art competition.
You said you'd given up painting.
- I have, but I've taken it up again.
- Why? That is one of the most boring, annoying men I have ever met in my life.
Come on, we can't stand by and watch him win that prize.
Quick! ( floor creaking ) You know, I sometimes think you're the only one I could paint.
Oh, do stop licking your thingies.
Much too Francis Bacon for me.
Lexie: It was there again last night.
Great.
Great? No, it's not great.
It's terrible.
I want you to get rid of this thing that's moving around the house all night.
There's only one option left.
We'll have to repeat the seance exactly as it was before.
That will allow the spirit to return to rest.
Have you room for one more? Sure, Molly.
Where would you like it? - Over there? - Okay.
But be careful, it's still wet.
So, where's Andrew's sculpture? Oh, it's over here.
It's quite good, really.
He was telling me how he works from life, and he's had this model coming round to his house every day.
Right.
So what do you think? Shame there are no pigeons around.
I've brought some stuff from Auntie Liz.
Toys, games, whatever.
Now I've made a list of things that we need to do.
Have you registered with Dr.
Brown in the village yet? - Yes.
- Great.
Now, something else we need to decide.
Are we gonna stay here or move into the village? Because if we're gonna move in there, Auntie Liz has got a room we can have.
And have you seen the school yet? we need to talk about that.
I think we can probably leave it for a few days.
Yeah.
Now, something else.
Ah, yeah, are we gonna get married? You know, for the baby? That's not a good reason for getting married.
No, you're right, but we could anyway.
I'm not very good at weddings.
Of course.
No wedding just yet.
Duncan, hold on, we need to talk.
Not now though, I promised I'd help Archie.
And Lexie, and- I don't know whether I'm coming or going.
"Useless"? Being a bit hard on yourself, aren't you? "Useless" is the name of the dog.
What's your piece called? "Bust of a Young Girl.
" What a lot of bust she has.
Lexie told you the winner has to make a speech? Yes, she did mention it.
That's why you're making notes, you're that certain you're going to win.
I make no great claims about my work but I am absolutely certain I'll be making a speech.
I'm not sure what is worse, your false modesty or your smugness.
Lexie: Andrew, are you ready? ( banging ) Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please? Thank you very much for coming to the Glenbogle art competition.
Unfortunately, Mrs.
Mackay, who was going to be our judge today, had a bit of an accident with her easel.
So at the very last minute Andrew Booth very kindly withdrew his entry from the competition to take her place.
- Andrew.
- ( applause ) Thank you.
I'd like to congratulate all the exhibitors here today.
I'm enormously impressed by the very high standard of all the works.
However, we have to have a winner.
Now there is one picture that stands out for me.
It's a beautiful composition, it's got a real life to it.
It's "Useless" by Molly MacDonald.
- You won.
- ( applause ) I hope you will accept my exhibit as the prize.
Oh, thank you so much.
Congratulations.
- No.
- Ladies and gentlemen, there's tea and refreshments at the back of the hall.
Well, you've changed my mind about pet portraits.
Good, because, in a way, it was because of you that I started painting again.
You stopped when your husband died.
- How did you know that? - A guess.
And I saw that portrait you did of him.
The odd thing is, since then, every time I try to paint, I see his face.
Still, I suppose I cheated with "Useless.
" There is quite a strong resemblance.
So I inspired you to pick up your brushes again? No, with you it was more irritation than inspiration.
Don't forget your prize.
Why don't you finish it first? What? I didn't say anything.
( thunderclap ) Thanks, Molly.
I know this doesn't make any sense but I had to give it a try.
Well, anything if you think it'll help.
Robert MacDonald, can you hear me? Lexie, speak to him.
I know you've been trying to reach me.
What do you want? ( creaking ) ( knocking ) - ( banging ) - Hey! - What's going on? - Found your ghost.
So it's you that's been creeping round the house.
I'll explain everything to Irene Stuart.
You can tell us or you can tell the police.
Okay, look, I'm a private detective.
I was hired to find Irene.
It was supposed to be a straight-forward job- find Irene, take a couple of pictures.
Duncan: He tried to work me over in the pub, I know.
Detective: Yeah, well, didn't get much, did I? Just had to listen to you droning on and on and on.
So I didn't feel too bad when I borrowed your keys.
Now I've installed covert video surveillance in some pretty heavy locations, but they were a piece of cake compared to this gaff.
It's a death-trap.
It was a test of nerve.
But still, nothing I couldn't handle.
dust on the carpet.
Let's go to bed.
Archie: What was your plan for this evening? You were going to bug the suits of armor, hang some listening devices from the chandeliers? No.
My client wanted me to deliver a letter to Irene.
With all this surveillance you didn't notice that we do actually have a letterbox? I'm calling the police.
No, this is all my fault.
I don't want anyone else involved.
My coming here, hiding, it's caused enough trouble already.
- We can't just let him get away with it.
- Please, Archie.
Make sure he doesn't get lost on the way out.
No worries, boss.
Come on.
This is for you.
From Ian, obviously.
- Irene? - Just let her read it first.
( knocking ) Duncan: Irene? you there? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm here.
You okay? What are you doing? Nothing.
can you just give me a minute? Okay.
I'm here if you want me.
I know, Duncan.
( giggling ) Okay.
Open your eyes.
Oh, Archie.
What happened to all the sheep? Well, it's like you were saying last night.
We spend far too much time thinking about the past and the future and what we should be doing is enjoying what we've got.
So I've made this room a kind of blank canvas.
We decide together what we want to do with it.
And what about carrying on the family line? - It doesn't really matter.
- Of course it does.
What would I know? I don't have a family tree.
I don't even have a family pot plant.
You need to tell me what you want, I can't read your mind, Arch.
I want you.
And I want you to be happy.
Oh, and by the way, I won the bet.
Ah-ha! That is not finished.
- It was finished.
- Thanks to Golly and Duncan.
Okay, so I cheated and it's a mess but it's still a kind of moral victory.
Okay, then I can take you out for a kind of moral dinner.
I wouldn't mind staying in.
You know what we could do? What? We could start thinking about something to put in here.
What do you have in mind? Curtains.
Curtains? Is that you away then? Yeah.
Can you tell Archie and Lexie for me? I'll call them, but I really hate goodbyes.
Yeah, I gathered that.
What about Duncan? I'm sorry, I just can't face him again.
I wish things hadn't worked out like this.
Me too.
Will you tell him, after I've gone? Sure.
Thanks.
- I'm coming with you.
- No.
Yes.
We can go and talk to Ian and then we can come back home.
- This isn't my home.
- You're running away again.
No, for me, staying here is running away.
Why? Why are you doing this? Because every time I look at my baby's face I'm going to see Ian.
I can't run away from that anymore.
That's why it can't work for you and me.
Irene, I love you.
Duncan, this isn't about us anymore.
This is about my child.
And I know you want to take on the responsibility of being the father, but you're not, Ian is.
And he's the one with the important job, and the big money.
Don't- don't do this.
You're so kind.
I'm fed up with being kind, because kind means being the nice guy who smiles and waves goodbye and I'm not doing that - not anymore.
I'd have given anything to spend my life with you.
And however you look at it, you just don't feel the same.
You never did.
This isn't what I want.
Oh, Duncan, please, can't we be friends? No.
I've got friends.
Come on, son.
Come on.
I'll drive.
You come here to talk to father, don't you? Silly, isn't it? But I always feel a little closer to him when I'm out here.
But he's gone.
And we miss him.
Yes.
Knowing father, he's on some big celestial golf course, stuck in a bunker probably.
It would be nice to think so, but I really don't believe in that sort of thing.
You go in.
Useless, you silly dog.
( barking ) ( golf club swooshes ) ( barking ) ( whining ) ( whimpers ) ( theme music playing )