Nip/Tuck s04e08 Episode Script

Previously on Nip / Tuck The worst thing you can do for your son is tip-toe around his condition.
Luckily, it looks like we're gonna be able to reconstruct his hands with a series of surgeries.
We feel it's his best chance to live a normal life.
Mrs.
Grubman, you have a plastic surgery addiction problem.
Holy shit, she's in V-fib.
Come on.
You're not gonna die on me, you crazy bitch.
Fix my face.
This time I can't.
I'm sorry.
Just for old time's sake, tell me what you don't like about yourself.
Dr.
Troy Can I answer that one? 'Cause there are a few things I don't like about Driving Miss Crazy here.
No, you can't answer that, Evetta.
If I wanted someone with an opinion, I'd have hired Star Jones.
Well, let's see Star Jones wipe your ass and change your Depends for $12 an hour.
Well, maybe if you learned to cook, I wouldn't have diarrhea all the time.
I see the speech therapy's coming along quite well, Mrs.
G.
It had to, it's my only defense against the verbal onslaught.
But it has been a long recovery, Dr.
Troy.
A long recovery.
I couldn't stand that convalescent home another day, so I moved home and hired Evetta for around-the-clock assistance.
I've been in seclusion for almost two years.
I know.
I tried to stop by and they said you didn't wanna see me.
Now, don't take it personally, doll, I haven't seen anyone.
I was so depressed about how I looked, I wouldn't even let my own daughter visit me.
You see, Dr.
Troy, I was preparing for my triumphant return.
Now, the goal was to re-emerge at a gala affair attended by everybody who's anybody in Miami.
And the final step before my coming out was a visit here for a few refresher operations.
Was? Why the past tense? Well, there may not be time for a party any longer, Dr.
Troy.
You see, a few days ago, I found out that I have stage 4 lung cancer.
It has metastasized to my bones and my liver.
There's nothing they can do.
The Grim Reaper could ask me for a final samba at any moment.
Mrs.
Grubman, I'm very sorry.
Oh, don't be.
I've accepted it.
But time is of the essence.
So, I'll need the surgeries right away.
You must be insane, Mrs.
Grubman.
The stress of an invasive procedure would be too much for you right now.
Yeah, I thought you might say that.
So we'll move on to Plan B.
You'll perform the operations after I die.
We'll make my coming out party my funeral.
I'll be the best looking corpse since Zsa Zsa Gabor.
Although she'd never fit into the size two I'll be wearing in my casket.
Zsa Zsa's dead? Not officially.
That was a good one, shitpants.
I'll need to suck 60 pounds out of you to get you into a size 2 dress.
What do I care? I'll be dead.
Mrs.
Grubman, I'm your plastic surgeon.
I won't be your undertaker.
There is not an undertaker in Miami who has an ounce of your artistic talent, Dr.
Troy.
My body is your canvas.
And I want you to be the last man to touch it.
Hey.
I don't want to interrupt, I just Never mind.
Have a great weekend.
What did you wanna say? Well, I was just thinking, how far you've come.
It's impressive.
Motherhood becomes you, Julia.
See you guys on Monday.
Have a lovely weekend.
You okay? You got in so late last night.
I was over at the anatomy lab practicing digital nerve dissections.
I haven't done one since med school.
You've been dissecting fingers? Do you use baby body parts? See, this is why we shouldn't get into it.
I can't deal with you overreacting to fetal cadavers.
You're the one who's overreacting, Sean.
You know, I mean, really, if it were any other surgeon, I would have a chance to ask questions.
As it is, everything I say just seems to stress you out.
I'm just focused.
I'm trying to anticipate any and every possible complication for our son.
That's a good thing, isn't it? Yeah, of course.
And I'm proud of you.
We're very lucky.
I mean, think of all the families who don't have the talent or the money to do what we're doing.
There is no money for it, Kathleen.
It's a vanity operation and we can't afford it.
He's just going to have to toughen up.
We've got $5,000 saved, Tom.
Oh, that's brilliant, Kathleen.
Brilliant.
It's his college fund.
You'd rather be the picture-perfect pretty boy stocking shelves at the Tru Value? No education, no prospects.
That's what she wants.
Is that what you want? That's you in a nutshell.
Teach him to take the easy road.
No goddamn priorities.
This isn't about me! He's being taunted and humiliated, and he is suffering! I love him too much to stand by and do nothing.
And I don't love my son? Is that where you're taking this? Did I do this right, Dad? I don't want you to think that I'm not supportive.
No, you're right, Jules.
We're all incredibly lucky.
And I promise, I'll schedule a sit-down at the office and you can ask all the questions you want.
Take the morning for yourself, you deserve it.
I'll take the kids out for pancakes.
Thank you.
Sit here with your brother, honey, while I put our name down.
You should try holding up a little fish and see if he'll grab it.
- What? - Leave him alone, Morgan.
He looks like a crab, Dad.
Here, baby, want a sardine? Please don't make fun of my son's hands.
How would you like it if I teased you about your pig nose, huh? Or those chubby cheeks? How would you like that? Hey, take it easy, buddy.
He's just a kid.
He's making fun of a handicap.
Maybe if you got your nose out of that newspaper and paid him some attention, he wouldn't be such a little asshole.
Don't call my son an asshole, or your kids are gonna see their old man get his ass kicked.
Daddy! Your son's an asshole.
But not half as big an asshole as his father.
Let's go, honey, come on.
- Thanks for coming, Dr.
Troy.
- How is she? I told you, she stopped eating.
You gotta do something.
I gave her an IV and she pulled it out of her arm.
That bitch has a death wish.
I know they're gonna claim elder abuse when she finally kicks it.
- Why would they do that? - Two priors, honey.
I got caught lifting a Gucci handbag and slapped a cop when he tried to fondle my sexy booty.
Nobody's going to blame you for negligence, Evetta.
You're probably the only reason she's still alive.
Just don't let her die, okay? Slightly different circumstances from when you were last here, Dr.
Troy.
Though it doesn't have to be.
How about sending me out of this world with a smile on my face? - Why aren't you eating, Mrs.
Grubman? - I don't have time to eat.
There's too much work to do on this funeral.
And the seating chart alone has taken me four hours.
Blaine Trump's gonna need a shoulder to cry on.
I'll just sit her right up front, next to you.
You're giving up, Mrs.
Grubman.
That isn't like you.
I told you, I've had a wonderful life, with only two regrets.
That I didn't sleep with you when I had the chance, and that I never got to sing at the Rainbow Room.
The Rainbow Room? Don't you have to be able to sing for that? Listen to my demo on your way home, you'll see.
I was gonna be Burt Bacharach's girl before he picked Dionne Warwick.
And then I met my Marvin and everything changed.
But you'll hear all the stories at the funeral.
If you don't start eating, I won't be there.
You have to.
You're slated to speak right after Dominick Dunne.
I won't be a part of this.
If you wanna starve yourself to death just to be a better-looking corpse, find someone else to do your dirty work.
These last two years have been so lonely, you know? Oh, I know it's my own fault, I pushed everyone away.
Evetta does a great job, she really tries hard to cheer me up.
I like having her around.
She fights back.
Like you.
Shit, my Maybelline's running.
Hand me a tissue, would you? Thank you.
I'm sorry I didn't come visit you more often.
Oh, please.
You should be out there playing the field, Dr.
Troy, finding yourself the first in a series of 24-year-old trophy wives.
Tell you what, I'll make you a deal.
For a spoonful of soup today, I'll give you a Botox shot tomorrow.
I am kind of hungry.
I love you, you know.
You know what? Let him sue me.
It was worth it.
Sick asshole.
Just say it, you think I should go back to anger management.
What? What really concerns me, Sean, is what all this intensity is about.
You didn't hear him being mocked in front of a dozen strangers, in front of Annie.
All I knew in that moment was that people like them would be tormenting my son for the rest of his life.
I had to do something.
You are doing something.
You're doing his surgery.
For now, just promise me you'll talk to this Mr.
Thompson.
Apologize to him, so that we don't have to deal with the headache of a lawsuit.
Will you do that? I'm also gonna call Dr.
Mugavi and move up the surgery.
There's no reason to wait.
I'll be ready to go in two weeks.
But he's still so little.
The sooner I do this surgery, the sooner he can begin developing the coordination and function in his hands.
It's all he's gonna have.
Who are you doing this for, Sean? You or Conor? You stay right there.
Holy cow.
This one looks like it's out of here! He's rounding third, it's a race for the plate.
It's a home run! When can I sign up for Little League, Dad? Gee, thanks, buddy.
I come out here, play ball with you and that's what you've got to say? No, I really like playing with you, it's just I just wanna play a real game.
You and your mother.
The kids'll laugh at you and the coach'll keep you on the bench, then stick you out in right field for the last inning.
Oh, and they'll shove you in the back for the team photo.
Is that what you want? What are you doing here? I called your house, your wife told me you'd be here.
You have a moment to talk, Mr.
Thompson? - I'm sorry I hit you.
- Yeah, I bet you are.
'Cause it's gonna cost you, McNamara.
I got 20 witnesses that will swear to what they saw.
I never should have erupted like I did.
I just My son He's about to have an operation on his hands.
You humiliated me in front of my boy.
Looks like you two are working through it.
Yeah.
I had to explain to him that what I did was wrong, what he did was wrong, and what you did was really, really wrong.
I think I think he gets it now.
- What position does he play? - Shortstop.
I mean, he's a little slower than the other kids, but he did turn a double-play last night.
It won them the game.
Every kid should have a moment like that.
A walk-off home run, a buzzer beater.
It's all I want for Conor.
He may never get that chance, but all I want is for him to be normal.
Look, do what you gotta do with the lawsuit.
I just wanted to apologize for what I did and what I said.
These webbed fingers are known as syndactyly.
There are actually two fingers inside here.
We do a syndactyly release on the index and middle finger, and another one between the ring and the pinky.
And what kind of complications could arise? Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late.
There was this accident on the Causeway.
Marlowe's going to be involved in Conor's care, so I asked him to join us.
Please, I'm sorry, don't mind me.
Please continue.
Let me get you a chair.
The main complication that could arise is that the vessel or the nerve could be damaged in the process.
Will you have to do a skin graft? The short answer is yes, Julia, but Is that a very invasive procedure? Will there be a lot of pain? He'll be under anesthesia.
I was talking about his recovery.
We're pretty good with pain management.
Which brings us to the thumb distraction.
Now, we plan to turn this small suggestion of a digit into a real thumb.
We make an incision in the thumb, dissect the bone and apply a distraction osteogenesis device.
It has little pins and screws that go into the bone.
We sew the thumb back up and over the next weeks, we slowly turn the screws and they basically stretch the bone.
Who turns these screws over the next few weeks? You do.
We've found that the pain level is minimal to next to nothing when the parents are the ones to turn them.
How do you measure those pain levels, if I may ask? Oh, we doctors, we've got all kinds of tricks up our sleeves.
That was a reasonable question, Christian.
Well, I'm only asking because according to the research I've been reading, the traditional ways of measuring infant pain, tears and brain activity, it's just not as conclusive as we wish it was.
Are you aware of the expertise, mastery and professional status that's gathered in this room? With all due respect, Julia asked me to be here today to bring up some of these issues.
In other words, I'm doing my job.
I'm sorry if that knocks anyone's nose out of joint.
So, what is this research, Marlowe? Some well-respected developmental psychologists have done hypnoses on a pretty large group of adults who had surgery at an early age.
They all tend to have similar symptoms, nervous system disorders, digestive problems, debilitating phobia and panic attacks.
Are you aware of this, Sean? I scheduled this meeting so you could meet Dr.
Mugavi and ask specific questions about the surgery.
I think the whole New Age healing modality type of conversation is better suited to the dinner table.
Well, in that case, I'm gonna go home and make dinner so that I can have that conversation.
Dr.
Mugavi, Christian, feel free to join us.
Well, look at you two! Burberry never looked so good on Kate Moss.
Oh, you like it? I had Evetta pick it up for me at Neiman's.
And she's lucky I made her wear a bib at breakfast.
Otherwise, it'd have been covered in strawberry crepe shit.
I also wore a huge hat, so no one would recognize me.
But you were right, Dr.
Troy, not eating was a silly thing to do.
Oh, we had the most wonderful brunch this morning at Restaurant St.
Michel.
Eating out in public? That's fantastic.
Baby, it was like opening the gates to hell.
Anything on the menu with cheese, beef, or cream in it, Fatty Belt-Buckles had to have two.
Well, look who's talking.
I never saw anyone order lobster and a chocolate milkshake for breakfast before.
I figured if the old goat's gonna be spending my inheritance, I'm gonna enjoy it.
Though maybe I should've stopped with the milkshake.
We can get you some liposuction, Evetta, if you're worried about your weight.
I was talking about my heartburn, dummy.
I don't need no Hoover vacuum stealing my ass.
Where I come from, I don't get lipo to attract a man, I eat another cherry pie and put more junk in my trunk, know what I'm saying? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Drum up your work with some pitiful, self-hating creature, Dr.
Troy.
Not me, okay? I love myself.
Every pound of it.
Go read a magazine in the lobby, Evetta.
I hear the new issue of Essence is here.
Yeah, I'll go read my Essence.
I was tired of talking to the two of you, anyway.
And stop shutting me up.
Always trying to get sucked and tucked, that's what's wrong with your crazy ass now.
I should go talk to her.
Oh, she'll be all right.
She's a spitfire though, huh? Oh, breakfast was fun.
And thank God no one recognized me.
Well, after a few shots of Botox, the old Mrs.
Grubman will reappear.
A shot of Botox is the elixir of life, Dr.
Troy.
It's getting out in public and seeing people again that makes you feel good, Mrs.
Grubman.
Oh, Mrs.
Grubman.
- Julia - Listen to this.
"I saw these masked giants hovering over me, "the cold harsh light was in my eyes.
"Someone came toward me with a black mask "that had this smell and it made me sick.
"When I woke up, I started to vomit.
"A stranger shoved a huge teddy bear at me, the eyes were terrifying.
" This memory is from when he was seven months old.
It's the book you gave me.
Julia, I'm sorry.
I should've thought more carefully about what I was doing.
But I'm so grateful to you.
You know, I knew these things instinctively, I just hadn't articulated it.
A baby responds to surgery as if he's dying, because he has no understanding of what's happening to him.
Julia, listen to me We have to convince Sean to postpone the surgery.
You know, at least until Conor's older, you know? So we can prepare him for it.
I'm not gonna sign the surgery consent form.
Okay, but before you make any decisions, let me tell you what I've decided.
I'm leaving.
You're what? I don't I don't know how it ended up like this, but it's clear that I've become a disruptive influence in this household.
And that's not good for anyone, especially not Conor.
Do you know the difference between a surgeon and God? God doesn't think he's a surgeon.
Now, I need you to stay, to help me through this.
You're my rock.
I can't go through this alone.
You underestimate how powerful you are, Julia.
And these books, they have concrete suggestions on how to help Conor through this.
It won't be the end of the world.
I can't I just The thought of waking up tomorrow and not seeing you You'll You'll get through this.
You're a really good mother.
That's why I have to leave.
Thought I'd give you a hand today.
She's dead, Christian.
She's not gonna catch anything.
It's her last time in the saddle, Sean.
Might as well give her the full treatment.
Okay.
Linda told me you're doing the eulogy at her funeral.
Yeah, but I'm struggling with what I'm gonna say.
All Miami's gonna be there.
She sent out engraved invitations.
All I can think of is, "Here lies a woman who was so busy looking in the mirror "and feeling she wasn't good enough that she missed her life.
" She could have had a singing career, did you know that? I didn't know much about her besides her desperate, overbearing personality.
Yeah, she wasn't such a bad egg.
But I'd certainly feel more comfortable if I could stand up there knowing that my contribution to her life was a little more positive.
I feel like her drug-dealer.
You can't think like that.
I seem to recall a diatribe by you only a few months ago about how we were contributing to a society that was obsessed with physical perfection.
At the moment, I'm grateful for every single surgery that's given me the skill to make my son whole.
What if you couldn't fix Conor? What if you couldn't make him as close to perfect as possible? How would that make you feel? Have you been talking to my wife? All I'm getting from the people around me lately is this touchy-feely negative psychobabble.
Whoa, killer, it's not me you're mad at.
Maybe you should take the afternoon off.
Go home, make peace with your wife.
Besides, I could use the alone time with Grubman to work out my eulogy.
Would you mind changing the music, Linda? Gangsta rap just doesn't seem like the right choice for Mrs.
Grubman.
I brought something.
It's over there.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs.
Grubman.
Thanks, Burt.
Don't forget your glove, Sean.
Go on, it's after 4:00, you're gonna miss it.
What'll I do if they laugh at me? They're fools if they laugh, and who cares what fools think? - Dad's gonna be mad.
- I'll handle Dad, honey.
Now go on.
What're you doing home so early? - Are you all right? - I'm fine.
- We need to talk.
- Yes, Sean, we do.
I'm not ready to sign the consent form.
I know.
I know I've been kind of a madman lately, I've been so obsessed with making things perfect for Conor's surgery and I see how counterproductive that's been and unfair to you.
There are things that That I've never told you.
- About the surgery? - No.
About me.
What's he doing here? - Am I too late? - No.
No, your timing's perfect.
Did you bring a signed consent form? One of these? Yeah, right here.
Great.
Okay, next.
All right, stand on the line.
I'm gonna give you a count, give me a good home run.
Boom, pow.
All right? Home run, one, two.
Okay, get the next one in.
You wanna lower your arm a little bit? Let me see some more face.
How about it? When did you have the surgery? Who paid for it? I was 8.
My mother used the college money, we did it behind my dad's back.
Lucky for everyone I was a good student and qualified for financial aid.
But he never forgave her.
He left a few months later.
That's why he left you guys? It always seemed such a mystery to me.
I think he felt like he lost control of the family.
I guess we pushed him out.
My mom worked two jobs to support us.
I just don't understand why you didn't tell me.
'Cause I put that pathetic kid behind me.
No, you didn't.
That kid is why you're a plastic surgeon.
Why did you have to keep it a secret? I couldn't let you see me as that pathetic, ugly kid.
I was afraid that's all you'd ever see.
And in so many ways that little kid is who I fell in love with.
Only because you never saw him.
Where is everyone, Evetta? I guess they had better things to do.
Didn't you send out all the invitations for her? Every single one.
Maybe her address book was out of date or something.
Her daughter, Claire? She couldn't find the time to come to her mother's funeral? Claire called the house, said that her mother died for her almost two years ago, when she stopped seeing her after she had the stroke.
Said that when she chose vanity over family, it was too much for her to handle.
Did you hear what she put on her headstone? "I came, I saw, I conga'd.
" Oh, Grubby, we did have some fun times together.
Too bad you screwed me in your will.
Yeah, all I got was a few old-lady muumuus.
I guess she thought I meant it when I told her I liked them.
Either that or her last joke's on me.
Which I guess it is anyway.
Okay, well, I gotta go find a new job.
I'll see you next week, Dr.
Troy.
Next week.
What What's next week? Oh, I made an appointment at McNamara/Troy.
Since she left you everything, I'm at least gonna get some free lipo out of it.
She left me all her money? You didn't hear? It's in her will.
She put it all in the Hedda Grubman Plastic Surgery Fund.
For people that need a little work but don't wanna pay for it.
I'm here to pay respects to Hedda Grubman.
Her life was like that of any other, filled with accomplishments that should be exalted, and regrets that should be learned from.
Her wit and candor This is bullshit.
The truth is, Mrs.
Grubman, you were a huge pain in the ass.
Pretty much everybody hated you.
It's no wonder they boycotted your funeral.
You were obsessed with your looks and plastic surgery and in the end it cost you every relationship you ever had.
But I know somewhere inside, you meant well.
And you were funny, and honest, and you stuck up for yourself.
I loved the fact that you never let me off the hook.
Life was more interesting with you in it, and And I'm gonna miss you.
And I love you, too.
Goodbye, Mrs.
Grubman.
Marker.
Scissors and pickups.
Marlowe, my God, you have no idea how glad I am to see you.
Saw.
Screwdriver.
English