Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators (2018) s04e08 Episode Script
And Rarest Parts
1
Your palatial residence,
ma'am.
Will that be all, milady? I don't know why you bought this motor.
Spent all that money and nothing to "chauffeur" it! THEY LAUGH That classical concert should've came with a warning.
That it contained SAX and VIOLINS! Do you get it? Sax and What's wrong? It's Artie.
Wait here.
Be careful.
Told you.
It's him.
He's here.
Artie? It's your father.
It's your father! There's no-one here.
TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS It says in my horoscope that I am going to come into money.
Oh! I had my palm read at the weekend.
You need your head read if you believe in all that mumbo jumbo.
Ignore him.
Who by? Madame Ides of March Street.
Ooh, she's good.
What did she say? Well, she said my fate line is very strong and she predicted that I'm about to undergo some obsessive and strenuous training for something.
Ooh, ooh! I predict a client is going to knock on our door this very second.
KNOCK AT DOOR You're psychic.
Someone's been polishing his crystal ball.
I don't Hello? Are you Shakespeare and Hathaway? I am not.
These are they.
Come in, I'm Frank Hathaway and this is my partner, Luella Shakespeare.
Hi.
Please take a seat.
I'll get some refreshments.
What seems to be the problem, Mr? My name's Leroy John.
We've met before, haven't we? Did you fix my boiler? I believe I'm being visited by my son, Artie.
And? He's been dead for five years.
Oh.
He was a fantastic lad, Artie.
He was a train spotter, like me.
Everyone wanted to be Artie.
Unfortunately, he died in a tragic accident at Arden Junction station.
Do you work there? Sorry, sorry.
And what would you like us to do? I want you to find proof that it is Artie.
What makes you so sure it's a ghost? Well, how else would you explain the disturbances at our house? The alarms haven't been triggered, we haven't spotted anything on CCTV.
Look, we're very sorry for your loss but we're private investigators.
We don't do ghosts.
Oh, no, we have.
We've done some in the past.
You're my only chance.
I've been to the police.
They just laughed in my face.
It's Artie, my son, I know it is.
I've never been so sure of anything.
We'll do it.
Will we? Yes, and if it is Artie It is.
.
.
Then we will find him, won't we, Frank? Hang on, hang on.
We'd need money upfront.
Oh, thankfully, for me money's no object.
That's it! That's where I know you from.
You're the guy that won the lottery, aren't you? I read about you in the Arden Echo.
OK, OK, here's what we'll do.
We don't usually do this kind of case but, um, we'll do a preliminary investigation and if there is something in it There is.
then we'll put up some surveillance cameras.
Great.
I trust you'll be in touch.
We will.
Oh, yes! TRAIN TOOTS What have I told you about thinking with your heart instead of your head? Did you see his face? I thought he was going to burst into tears right there and then.
I'm not completely heartless, you know.
It is a lost cause, though.
Morning.
Ooh! Ha-ha! Where are you going to? I'm Frank Hathaway.
And I'm Luella Shakespeare.
We're private investigators.
We were hoping to just pop up on that footbridge there to check something out for an investigation we're doing.
Can we go through? No, you'll need a ticket.
Well, we're not going anywhere.
You'll still need a ticket.
Um, OK, so what my partner is trying to say, um Perry.
Can I call you Perry? Yes, you can.
Great.
Perry.
Is that if you would be so kind as to let us pop up there, we will come straight back because we're not actually going anywhere.
THEY LAUGH No, you'll need a ticket.
Well, that was worth the price of a return ticket to Wilmcote.
Yeah.
Perry? Hi, Perry.
We were just wondering, were there any suspicious circumstances surrounding the accident? I've only worked here for a couple of months, but I heard it happened whilst he was trainspotting.
How can you have an accident trainspotting? Sometimes train spotters trespass on the tracks just to get the better sightings.
In this case he was up there, just hanging over the side.
Who makes sure that that flame is kept alight? That's Mr John.
He's here most days.
Good luck trying to speak to him.
Why's that? He's just not very popular with the fellow train spotters.
Especially since he's come into money.
Right, if there's nothing else? No.
No, OK.
The press are sniffing around again.
No, we're not press.
Then why are you looking at that? We're private investigators.
We're just trying to find out a bit more about what happened.
It all came out in the inquest.
It was a tragic accident.
End of.
Owen Faulconbridge.
Frank Hathaway.
Luella.
Pleased to meet you both.
That's Eddie.
He was Artie's best friend.
Come on, Dad! You'd be better off talking to Leroy John.
Although most around here wouldn't trust him as far as they could throw him.
Do you think there's anything suspicious about this accident? No, he's dead as disco.
As what?Disco.
SHE LAUGHS Disco is not dead, Frank! Wow.
What would you buy if you won the lottery? Oh, erm KNOCKS ON DOOR I'd buy myself a health spa, but like in Barbados.
And one where you could drink, you know, and eat what you want.
So less of the health, more of the spa.
I'd buy a fridge.
Maybe a trouser press.
KNOCKS AGAIN How do you think he's going to take it? I don't know.
I just hope he doesn't cry.
Mm.
Ah, good! Uh, come in.
- May I introduce you to? - LUELLA GASPS That's Kaff, it's Kaff.
Hello, Kaff! Who's Kaff? You've modelled for all the greats - Alexander McQueen, Gucci, Katherine Hamnett.
Oh, my! All my clients used to I used to be a hairdresser.
All my clients used to ask me for "the Kaff".
That was then.
I'm plain old Katherine Corazon now.
This is Frank Hathaway and Lu Shakespeare.
They're the private investigators I was telling you about.
Oh, very pleased to meet you.
I suspect you're just here to set up the surveillance cameras? Well, actually, Mr John, we've decided against taking the case.
Yeah, sorry.
We did say, though, that we couldn't really promise anything.
We don't do ghosts.
Did he tell you it was a ghost? It's not a ghost.
It's Artie.
It's not.
It's someone pulling a prank, more like.
Do you know anyone who'd want to do that? There are lots of jealous types around here.
It could be any one of them.
It's Artie.
It's not.
/fon It's stopping us from moving on with our lives, you see.
The wedding is soon and Ooh, you're having a wedding? I love a wedding! Who's the lucky man? It's me.
Katherine is my fiancee.
Can you help us? Yes, we can.
Surely.
Frank, yeah? We can help.
On the off-chance that it's not a ghost It is.
It's not.
Do you think Eddie and Owen Faulconbridge could have something to do with this? They're bitter and twisted, those two.
I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them.
That's funny cos that's what they said about you.
Ahh, um! Sorry.
See? I knew you'd recognise her.
Hm.
Her kind of fashion is not my milieu but she does look very familiar.
Ha-ha! And I know what you're thinking.
Ooh! What am I thinking, Madame Shakespeare? You're thinking, "What is a glamorous young fashion model "like her doing with a train spotter?" "Let thy love be younger than thyself, "Or thy affection cannot hold the bent.
" Hm? Orsino.
Who knows? According to all the socials, it was quite the romance.
Yeah, but why did she choose him? Maybe she felt sorry for him.
Must be awful losing a son just like that.
Similar to the Bard after his son died.
Some say that all Shakespeare's plays after that were about his son Hamnet.
Anyway, train spotters.
Apart from petty jealousies about money, we've got to find out what their problem is with Leroy.
Thing is, they know what we look like, don't they, because we've been down there already? Ah, see, what we need is someone with RADA training who might, uh Who might want to go down there and let off some steam.
That's certainly something to choo-choo over.
THEY LAUGH I'll make a stop at Gloria's.
Come on, we've got to put these surveillance cameras up.
NEARBY TRAIN PASSES Where are you travelling to? IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: Er, not.
Well, I'm a Ferroequinologist.
A train spotter.
Aye.
That's what I am.
Yeah, you still need a ticket.
OK.
Do you want to sponsor the UK Heart Trust run? Or leave a donation? It's a really good cause.
I havenae got any cash.
Just do it next time.
I'll be here.
I'm always here.
TICKET MACHINE PRINTS TICKE SIGHS Oh, ha-ha.
Ooh! There they are.
Good luck.
A hard bunch to get in with.
Thank you.
I'm not sure it's working.
No, yeah, it is.
It's on.
Just pop it on the That's it, up there.
Up here? Yeah.
Like what, there? Yes.
OK.
Well, they do say, don't they, you can never have too much of a good thing?You know, I thought I'd seen enough at the footbridge but this Don't you think this is a bit spooky? Well, we are looking for a ghost! Yeah.
Father/son relationships can be complex.
Minds more eminent than mine have written books on the subject.
What have they said? Don't know, never read 'em.
Oh, hello, look at this.
I wonder what first attracted beautiful young fashion model Kaff to the multi-multi-millionaire train spotter Leroy John.
Mm.
Haven't seen you around here before.
I'm new to the area.
Owen Faulconbridge.
I'm Scott.
My name is Scott.
Eddie Faulconbridge.
Nice glasses.
What are you into, then? What am I into? Ahh, well.
You're more of a kettlehead than a diesel basher? Aye.
I'm one of those.
So he knows the difference between a Pacer and a Sprinter.
CLEARS HIS THROA Even though they sound like breeds of dog, they are in fact both trains.
Now, Pacers aren't in service any more and Sprinters look like that.
WHISTLE BLOWS That's what I call a beautiful model.
It's a Holman.
Very rare.
Only three ever made and I've got two! Oh.
How expensive? I could buy a whole train for the price I paid for this.
I think it's best if you check into a hotel tonight.
But remember to shut your alarms off.
Then, when whoever turns up turns up, the cameras will pick them up.
You'd better get your skates on if you want to catch Artie.
He's always been quick.
Oh, no, not this again.
Do you remember the time when? For Pete's sake, Leroy, he's dead! Excuse me.
You know when you said train, did you mean actual, real train? CHUCKLES Boop, boop! Hey, are you all right? Yeah.
Sorry.
No, it's OK.
Artie died days after his dad's win.
I never really got to know him.
Leroy went from being obsessed with trains to becoming obsessed with Artie.
As long as Leroy believes that Artie is alive, he won't be able to move on, and I don't want there to be three of us in this marriage.
Yes, I understand.
I mean, that's why we're here.
So we can help with that.
I'm sure you will.
Could you think of anyone that might want to prank Leroy? Maybe Owen Faulconbridge? Could he be jealous? Why would he? He has what Leroy doesn't, a son.
Yeah.
If you don't mind me asking, how did you meet Leroy? He's not the kind I usually go for! But I met him when I got the gig to present the lottery cheque.
So when you gave him the cheque was the first time you met him?font color="#00fff Wow.
What, and you just clicked? Yeah.
We just got talking.
Something about him.
I can't explain it.
He told me about trainspotting.
My dad was a basher.
Someone who likes to ride in trains rather than spot 'em.
OK, right.
So your dad was a basher.
Leroy and Artie are spotters.
I think I'm getting the hang of this.
What's up yon? Hey? What's up there on the footbridge? Oh, it's supposed to be a shrine, of sorts - for Artie, Leroy John's son.
Is that Leroy John, the millionaire? We trainspotted together for years, the four of us.
Leroy, Artie, Eddie and me.
Leroy and I even bought lottery tickets together.
Then Leroy stole our winnings.
He didn't, Eddie, to be fair.
We promised to give each other half if we won.
And we'd have given him half if we'd won.
His son died, Eddie.
We haven't spoken about it since Artie's death.
I don't care about the money.
I never have.
I'm sorry for bringing it up.
There's no need to be sorry.
Well, I'll be seeing you.
Eddie, I would stay, but I'm training in the morning.
Night, all.
Night.
We'll see you around, then.
Are you no' wee hame? Sorry, what? Are you not going home? No, um, staying a while.
Best train spotting is at night, so SHE SNORES, OWL HOOTS I'm not asleep! Well, if you weren't, you were doing a good impression of a walrus.
Why are you wearing my hat? I'm cold.
Sebastian called.
Apparently, Leroy promised Owen half of his winnings and didn't pay up.
Really?Mm-hm.
But Kaff said Owen had nothing to do with all this.
Well, we'll find out soon enough.
I hope one of them gets here soon.
Mm.
Hey, while we wait, shall we play Would You Rather?No.
What?Well, you always get upset.
I don't! I don't get upset.
I just I only get upset when you don't follow the rules.
But if you follow the rules, I'm not going to get upset, am I? So Shall I go first? I'll go first.
You go first.
Would you rather find true love or find £5 million? I would rather find £5 million because that will help me to find true love.
Ooh, you don't know.
Can't all be like Leroy John, can we? She does really love him, you know.
Would you rather? Hang on, it's my go! Would you rather teleport to the future or teleport to the past? Well, you have to be in the future to teleport to the past.
No, no, you see, it has to be one thing or another.
That's the rules.
Well, that's my answer.
My go.
No, no.
No, it has to be one thing or the other.
Would you rather fall asleep in a snowstorm? Or? That's it.
You were right! It is much better at night.
Yeah.
I used to do this with Artie most nights.
What was he like? Artie was the one who made trainspotting cool.
And he left to go to art school in Milan.
Spotting wasn't just a numbers game with him.
He loved trains.
The look, the feel.
Wanted to capture them.
Amazing! How did he get that shot? He was a daredevil, a maverick.
Would do anything to get the perfect shot.
Once got chased by the shed-master trying to sneak a glimpse of a Class 47 diesel! THEY CHUCKLE He was a legend.
He changed lives, including mine.
You know, in a way, you're keeping him alive in your photos.
Yeah, well, trying my best.
OWL HOOTS Long night, isn't it? Here, have a Bourbon, cheer yourself up.
I don't need cheering up.
Come on! LAUGHS MISCHIEVOUSLY I ate them all when you were asleep! Oh, look - one of the cameras has gone down.
Go and sort it out.
I'll go.
JUMPS WITH FRIGH THEY BOTH SHRIEK You nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought you were still in the car.
Yeah, well, some of us find it hard to follow rules.
Oooh! Oooh! Let's go and check the cameras.
Oh, wow! Artie looks like he was the real Alan Bailey of the trainspotting world, doesn't he? David Bailey.
/f Hm? There's nothing conclusive on the cameras.
So, we need to work out whose foot matches that glass slipper.
No, we need to work out whose foot matches that footprint.
It could be anyone, couldn't it? It could just be a thief.
Thief robs millionaire, it would not be a surprise.
He didn't take anything.
And Leroy said some of those trains are worth hundreds of thousands.
Well, it couldn't have been Eddie, because he was with me.
What about Owen? He left early.
He said he was training.
PHONE BEEPS Maybe training for that charity run that the stationmaster has been collecting money for.
Right, you go and find out if Owen is our runner.
We need to get back to Arden Junction.
Why? Leroy wants an update.
We need to tell him there isn't a ghost.
Refreshments are on their way.
So, anyone visit last night? Well, look, whatever is going on, it's not a ghost.
It's not Artie.
Who is it, then? We haven't worked that bit out yet.
Yeah, so it still could be Artie, then?I'm afraid not, Mr John.
Can a ghost move inanimate objects? Or make a footprint? You need to listen to him, Leroy.
No, you're mistaken.
It's Artie, I know it is! When he visits, I can feel his presence.
Artie's dead, Leroy.
You need to move on.
You don't understand.
I can't just move on.
You're not a parent.
It feels like I am with all this carry-on.
What's that supposed to mean? It means that things are crowded when they shouldn't be.
Sometimes I don't understand you.
These detectives have proof that someone has been breaking into our house, and instead of addressing that, you believe it is your dead son.
To tell the truth, I'm getting fed up of hearing about him.
I've lost my son.
What don't you get about that? That was five years ago! Katherine, don't be like that.
SIGHS Excuse me.
Can we have these to go, please? Yeah.
Planning this wedding is stressful enough.
Why are you even marrying me anyway? Everyone says I'm punching well above my weight.
Because I love you, stupid.
These flowers are as beautiful as you are.
Come on, let's go and brighten up that shrine.
I just hope they work things out, that's all.
They just have to face facts.
Sometimes opposites don't attract.
You're such a cynical old boot, Frank, you really are.
I know.
Seriously, though, it's obvious that they love each other.
You heard what Leroy said.
He knows he's punching above his weight.
Yeah, sometimes love is enough.
Yeah, and sometimes it isn't.
How did you get on? The Faulconbridges are an elusive lot.
I've looked everywhere.
They're not here, are they? It wouldn't matter if they were.
The case is closed.
No, it isn't.
Oh, yes, it is.
Oh, no, it isn't! HE CHUCKLES Anyway, just keep on the case, and let us know if you bump into them.
Back again? A wee donation for your charity run.
Thank you.
Are you all right there? Yeah, I just take these to keep me fit and healthy.
I see that you've got a bit of a healthy obsession with trains.
I wouldn't call it an obsession.
Many before you have fallen under the spell of the glorious beasts that run on the parallel lines.
Did you know that the rarest train is the William Shakespeare? I did! It ran for four months in 1951.
Yeah! People get obsessed by this.
I told you! Go, off you go.
Go, go.
Yeah.
Something doesn't add up.
Yeah, his cheque for starters.
Well, he's got a track record of not paying what he owes.
So, what do we know? Well, we know it can't have been Eddie.
He was with Sebastian.
But it could have been Owen.
What is it you always say to me? They must have means and motive.
Well, if his motive is to claim Leroy's winnings, why pull a prank? He'd just ask him for it.
Not everyone is as upfront as you are, Frank.
I don't know, maybe we should go and see Madame Ides, eh? March Street is only round the corner.
I'm serious PHONE RINGS Hello? Yeah, we're coming.
Lu? Yeah?It's Sebastian, something has happened back at the station.
Oh! That got my steps up! What's going on? Katherine fell off the bridge.
I heard she leant on a panel and it gave way.
Oh, no! Is she going to be all right? I think so.
She was unconscious but she's in the ambulance now.
Thank goodness you're here! I think Eddie wanted to kill me.
Why would Eddie want to kill you? Why do you think?! The money.
Calm down and tell us what happened.
We were on the footbridge, paying our respects like we always do.
And then .
.
Katherine just fell.
Cos one of the panels just gave way.
I tried to grab her but she was just hanging over the edge.
Eddie could have helped.
I called out to him but he was stood there watching.
I couldn't hold her on my own.
Excuse me? I need to check you out in the ambulance.
Eddie wanted to kill me, just like he killed Artie.
I don't understand.
There was nothing suspicious about Artie's death.
Grief, like guilt, can be expressed in many ways.
Eddie? We just want to find out what happened to Katherine.
Could you tell us what you saw? Um, I heard a shout and I saw Leroy holding on to Katherine over the edge.
He was screaming at me to help but I couldn't.
I just froze.
It wasn't my fault.
You were there when Artie died, weren't you? Look, we just want to know.
Just leave me alone.
Do you think he's capable of hurting someone? I think someone in that state is capable of anything.
Did you notice where he was just before Kaff fell off the bridge? They were on the bridge already by the time I got here.
This doesn't look like an accident.
The bolts are missing.
With them gone, the whole section could easily come down.
This changes everything.
We could be looking at attempted murder.
Eddie seemed quite upset.
Do you think he did have something to do with it? Well, there's something he's not telling us.
I do, luckily, have his address.
That's not far.
I'll go.
You stay here in case he comes back.
Mr Faulconbridge, can I have a word? If it's about Artie's death, I've already told you all I know.
I don't want to talk about Artie.
I'd like to talk about Eddie.
Well, you'd better come in, then.
So, what's this all about? I'm worried about Eddie.
Social worker as well as a private investigator, are you? We ran into him at the station and heard Leroy blaming Eddie for Artie's death.
And you believed him? I told you, you can't trust Leroy as far as you can throw him.
What's happened? It's Katherine, she fell off the footbridge.
We think Eddie might have loosened the bolts on one of the panels, hoping Leroy would fall next time he visited the shrine.
But Katherine fell instead.
Why would Eddie want to hurt Leroy? Owen, you're not helping him by keeping quiet.
Eddie and Artie were like brothers, they went everywhere together.
See, I think deep down Leroy was jealous of that.
And he blames Eddie for his son's death? There must be more to it than that.
After Artie finished uni, he came back home.
And by this point, he was really working on his photography.
And he wanted to share that with his dad.
But his dad's an old-fashioned train spotter and not into anything new-fangled.
He saw Eddie as encouraging Artie to take risks.
After the accident, he told anyone who would listen that Eddie was there and was somehow to blame for Artie's death.
It was that accusation that ruined our friendship.
It was never about the money.
Eddie began to believe Leroy's lies and started to blame himself.
Hang on.
Didn't you say that Eddie and Artie were always together? Yeah, but they weren't together when he died.
But that's not right.
Eddie told us he was there.
Where is he now? He's upstairs.
Eddie? Oh.
Where do you think he's gone? I don't know.
But in his state, there's no telling what he could do.
PHONE RINGS Hello? Frank, you need to get here, now! Eddie's up on the footbridge and he just won't come down.
Come on.
Don't do it! Eddie, you come down here.
It isnae worth it! Please, please, don't jump! What are you talking about? All I wanted was there to be a fitting tribute to Artie.
So you're not going to jump? Of course not.
Are you sure you're private investigators? Oh.
What are you doing here? I just wanted to let everybody know that Katherine is going to be OK.
Oh, oh! Oh! Good for you.
What's going on here? Oh, now, that's what I call a beautiful model.
Do you remember when the driver let us stand on the footplate? Oh, yes, I do! The Flying Swan, on a steam special.
EDDIE: It was the last photograph he ever took.
So you undid the bolts so you could attach that to the bridge? Katherine shouldn't have been there.
I hadn't finished.
You weren't to know she'd be there.
We all understand, it was an accident.
Artie's death was an accident as well.
I was there when he died.
I told you.
I was right.
Artie loved you.
Would do anything to please you, but you're a hard man to please.
That night, I was there to help.
I was the one who told him to climb over and get the perfect shot.
If I hadn't pushed him to take that last shot, he would still be alive.
It wasn't your fault, Eddie.
You were a good friend.
I should have been a better dad.
Yeah.
You should have.
You only were after he died.
But even then, not enough to spend your winnings on a decent tribute.
Artie meant more to me than all the money.
I would give the whole lot away just to bring him back.
For both of us.
Well, thanks again.
And, um, this is for you.
Thank you muchly! I'll take that.
We're really glad that Kaff .
.
Katherine is going to make a full recovery.
Oh, it's only a wedding invitation.
No offence.
Only?! To the wedding of the year! Thank you.
Excuse us, we've got money to discuss.
No, I told you, I don't want your money.
Are you doing the charity race this year, then? Not this year, no! CHUCKLES Aw, did you hear that? Yeah, he'd better have sent the cheque to Sebastian.
Why? We didn't solve the case.
Yeah, that's Sebastian's fault, isn't it? He was supposed to talk to the suspects.
Maybe he got sidetracked.
Tracks.
It rained last night, didn't it? Yeah.
Then now is the perfect time to look for footprints.
Come on.
Frank, look at that.
No, that's a couple of sizes too small.
And it's a different pattern.
What about that one? Get the photo out.
Let's have a look.
Zoom in.
What do you think? It's similar but Yeah, let's follow it.
Here, Frank, that's the same.
Yep.
There.
Frank.
Another one.
Perry! You've got some explaining to do.
What? It's you, isn't it? Look, I don't want any trouble.
It was you I chased that night, wasn't it? If we looked at those boots, do you think they'd match the footprints I found at Angers House? Am I under arrest? No, we're not the police.
It wouldn't matter even if we were.
Leroy's dropped the trespassing charges.
So what are you going to do? I think it's about time you came clean to Leroy John, don't you? My name's Perry Smee.
You might know me as the platform assistant at the Arden Junction Railway Station.
"Where are you going to?" Yeah! THEY LAUGH Um I was diagnosed with cardiomegaly What's that when it's at home? My heart was too big for my body.
The heart walls became very thin.
Ah! Do you want sponsorship? Is that what all this is about? Please, just hear him out.
Um, so before that I was a burglar.
I was good at it.
There wasn't a single drainpipe I couldn't shimmy up or a window I couldn't pry open.
I wanted to get to know more about Artie.
How he lived and how he died.
It was you! I needed someone with a good heart.
That was your son.
Receiving Artie's heart gave me a second chance.
So, Artie I didn't mean to break in, I didn't mean to cause any problems.
Why didn't you just ask us instead of breaking in? I thought you wouldn't take me seriously.
So Artie is part of you? Yeah, yes, yeah.
Oh, my goodness.
This place in which you have now met has been duly sanctioned according to law for the celebration of marriages, and we are here today to witness the joining of matrimony of this couple and to share in their happiness.
What am I? You're a private investigator, Frank, if you don't know that now No.
.
.
Then he or she must declare it now.
I'm a train spotter.
LAUGHS LOUDLY Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
HEARTBEAT THUDS Artie was able to come to the wedding after all.
APPLAUSE Leroy John and Katherine Corazon, your vows are your promises to each other.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
THEY ALL CHEER Woo woo! I must say, it was a lovely ceremony.
Francis Hathaway! I mean, we know I love a wedding and Sebastian definitely does but you, you big softie! CHUCKLES Where is Sebastian? Hello.
Oh, hey.
Are you coming to the reception? Yes, but in a bit.
I've just been told that the actual William Shakespeare is expected at any minute.
The actual William Shakespeare? Didn't he die 400 years ago? Not the playwriting genius, the train! Don't you know anything? I do know one thing - that Madame Ides was right.
Who'd have thought Sebastian would be into trains? Mm.
Who'd have thought you would? What? I saw you playing with Leroy's train set.
Oh, hello!Well, I wasn't playing.
I was conducting an investigation.
Come on.
TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS
Will that be all, milady? I don't know why you bought this motor.
Spent all that money and nothing to "chauffeur" it! THEY LAUGH That classical concert should've came with a warning.
That it contained SAX and VIOLINS! Do you get it? Sax and What's wrong? It's Artie.
Wait here.
Be careful.
Told you.
It's him.
He's here.
Artie? It's your father.
It's your father! There's no-one here.
TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS It says in my horoscope that I am going to come into money.
Oh! I had my palm read at the weekend.
You need your head read if you believe in all that mumbo jumbo.
Ignore him.
Who by? Madame Ides of March Street.
Ooh, she's good.
What did she say? Well, she said my fate line is very strong and she predicted that I'm about to undergo some obsessive and strenuous training for something.
Ooh, ooh! I predict a client is going to knock on our door this very second.
KNOCK AT DOOR You're psychic.
Someone's been polishing his crystal ball.
I don't Hello? Are you Shakespeare and Hathaway? I am not.
These are they.
Come in, I'm Frank Hathaway and this is my partner, Luella Shakespeare.
Hi.
Please take a seat.
I'll get some refreshments.
What seems to be the problem, Mr? My name's Leroy John.
We've met before, haven't we? Did you fix my boiler? I believe I'm being visited by my son, Artie.
And? He's been dead for five years.
Oh.
He was a fantastic lad, Artie.
He was a train spotter, like me.
Everyone wanted to be Artie.
Unfortunately, he died in a tragic accident at Arden Junction station.
Do you work there? Sorry, sorry.
And what would you like us to do? I want you to find proof that it is Artie.
What makes you so sure it's a ghost? Well, how else would you explain the disturbances at our house? The alarms haven't been triggered, we haven't spotted anything on CCTV.
Look, we're very sorry for your loss but we're private investigators.
We don't do ghosts.
Oh, no, we have.
We've done some in the past.
You're my only chance.
I've been to the police.
They just laughed in my face.
It's Artie, my son, I know it is.
I've never been so sure of anything.
We'll do it.
Will we? Yes, and if it is Artie It is.
.
.
Then we will find him, won't we, Frank? Hang on, hang on.
We'd need money upfront.
Oh, thankfully, for me money's no object.
That's it! That's where I know you from.
You're the guy that won the lottery, aren't you? I read about you in the Arden Echo.
OK, OK, here's what we'll do.
We don't usually do this kind of case but, um, we'll do a preliminary investigation and if there is something in it There is.
then we'll put up some surveillance cameras.
Great.
I trust you'll be in touch.
We will.
Oh, yes! TRAIN TOOTS What have I told you about thinking with your heart instead of your head? Did you see his face? I thought he was going to burst into tears right there and then.
I'm not completely heartless, you know.
It is a lost cause, though.
Morning.
Ooh! Ha-ha! Where are you going to? I'm Frank Hathaway.
And I'm Luella Shakespeare.
We're private investigators.
We were hoping to just pop up on that footbridge there to check something out for an investigation we're doing.
Can we go through? No, you'll need a ticket.
Well, we're not going anywhere.
You'll still need a ticket.
Um, OK, so what my partner is trying to say, um Perry.
Can I call you Perry? Yes, you can.
Great.
Perry.
Is that if you would be so kind as to let us pop up there, we will come straight back because we're not actually going anywhere.
THEY LAUGH No, you'll need a ticket.
Well, that was worth the price of a return ticket to Wilmcote.
Yeah.
Perry? Hi, Perry.
We were just wondering, were there any suspicious circumstances surrounding the accident? I've only worked here for a couple of months, but I heard it happened whilst he was trainspotting.
How can you have an accident trainspotting? Sometimes train spotters trespass on the tracks just to get the better sightings.
In this case he was up there, just hanging over the side.
Who makes sure that that flame is kept alight? That's Mr John.
He's here most days.
Good luck trying to speak to him.
Why's that? He's just not very popular with the fellow train spotters.
Especially since he's come into money.
Right, if there's nothing else? No.
No, OK.
The press are sniffing around again.
No, we're not press.
Then why are you looking at that? We're private investigators.
We're just trying to find out a bit more about what happened.
It all came out in the inquest.
It was a tragic accident.
End of.
Owen Faulconbridge.
Frank Hathaway.
Luella.
Pleased to meet you both.
That's Eddie.
He was Artie's best friend.
Come on, Dad! You'd be better off talking to Leroy John.
Although most around here wouldn't trust him as far as they could throw him.
Do you think there's anything suspicious about this accident? No, he's dead as disco.
As what?Disco.
SHE LAUGHS Disco is not dead, Frank! Wow.
What would you buy if you won the lottery? Oh, erm KNOCKS ON DOOR I'd buy myself a health spa, but like in Barbados.
And one where you could drink, you know, and eat what you want.
So less of the health, more of the spa.
I'd buy a fridge.
Maybe a trouser press.
KNOCKS AGAIN How do you think he's going to take it? I don't know.
I just hope he doesn't cry.
Mm.
Ah, good! Uh, come in.
- May I introduce you to? - LUELLA GASPS That's Kaff, it's Kaff.
Hello, Kaff! Who's Kaff? You've modelled for all the greats - Alexander McQueen, Gucci, Katherine Hamnett.
Oh, my! All my clients used to I used to be a hairdresser.
All my clients used to ask me for "the Kaff".
That was then.
I'm plain old Katherine Corazon now.
This is Frank Hathaway and Lu Shakespeare.
They're the private investigators I was telling you about.
Oh, very pleased to meet you.
I suspect you're just here to set up the surveillance cameras? Well, actually, Mr John, we've decided against taking the case.
Yeah, sorry.
We did say, though, that we couldn't really promise anything.
We don't do ghosts.
Did he tell you it was a ghost? It's not a ghost.
It's Artie.
It's not.
It's someone pulling a prank, more like.
Do you know anyone who'd want to do that? There are lots of jealous types around here.
It could be any one of them.
It's Artie.
It's not.
/fon It's stopping us from moving on with our lives, you see.
The wedding is soon and Ooh, you're having a wedding? I love a wedding! Who's the lucky man? It's me.
Katherine is my fiancee.
Can you help us? Yes, we can.
Surely.
Frank, yeah? We can help.
On the off-chance that it's not a ghost It is.
It's not.
Do you think Eddie and Owen Faulconbridge could have something to do with this? They're bitter and twisted, those two.
I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them.
That's funny cos that's what they said about you.
Ahh, um! Sorry.
See? I knew you'd recognise her.
Hm.
Her kind of fashion is not my milieu but she does look very familiar.
Ha-ha! And I know what you're thinking.
Ooh! What am I thinking, Madame Shakespeare? You're thinking, "What is a glamorous young fashion model "like her doing with a train spotter?" "Let thy love be younger than thyself, "Or thy affection cannot hold the bent.
" Hm? Orsino.
Who knows? According to all the socials, it was quite the romance.
Yeah, but why did she choose him? Maybe she felt sorry for him.
Must be awful losing a son just like that.
Similar to the Bard after his son died.
Some say that all Shakespeare's plays after that were about his son Hamnet.
Anyway, train spotters.
Apart from petty jealousies about money, we've got to find out what their problem is with Leroy.
Thing is, they know what we look like, don't they, because we've been down there already? Ah, see, what we need is someone with RADA training who might, uh Who might want to go down there and let off some steam.
That's certainly something to choo-choo over.
THEY LAUGH I'll make a stop at Gloria's.
Come on, we've got to put these surveillance cameras up.
NEARBY TRAIN PASSES Where are you travelling to? IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: Er, not.
Well, I'm a Ferroequinologist.
A train spotter.
Aye.
That's what I am.
Yeah, you still need a ticket.
OK.
Do you want to sponsor the UK Heart Trust run? Or leave a donation? It's a really good cause.
I havenae got any cash.
Just do it next time.
I'll be here.
I'm always here.
TICKET MACHINE PRINTS TICKE SIGHS Oh, ha-ha.
Ooh! There they are.
Good luck.
A hard bunch to get in with.
Thank you.
I'm not sure it's working.
No, yeah, it is.
It's on.
Just pop it on the That's it, up there.
Up here? Yeah.
Like what, there? Yes.
OK.
Well, they do say, don't they, you can never have too much of a good thing?You know, I thought I'd seen enough at the footbridge but this Don't you think this is a bit spooky? Well, we are looking for a ghost! Yeah.
Father/son relationships can be complex.
Minds more eminent than mine have written books on the subject.
What have they said? Don't know, never read 'em.
Oh, hello, look at this.
I wonder what first attracted beautiful young fashion model Kaff to the multi-multi-millionaire train spotter Leroy John.
Mm.
Haven't seen you around here before.
I'm new to the area.
Owen Faulconbridge.
I'm Scott.
My name is Scott.
Eddie Faulconbridge.
Nice glasses.
What are you into, then? What am I into? Ahh, well.
You're more of a kettlehead than a diesel basher? Aye.
I'm one of those.
So he knows the difference between a Pacer and a Sprinter.
CLEARS HIS THROA Even though they sound like breeds of dog, they are in fact both trains.
Now, Pacers aren't in service any more and Sprinters look like that.
WHISTLE BLOWS That's what I call a beautiful model.
It's a Holman.
Very rare.
Only three ever made and I've got two! Oh.
How expensive? I could buy a whole train for the price I paid for this.
I think it's best if you check into a hotel tonight.
But remember to shut your alarms off.
Then, when whoever turns up turns up, the cameras will pick them up.
You'd better get your skates on if you want to catch Artie.
He's always been quick.
Oh, no, not this again.
Do you remember the time when? For Pete's sake, Leroy, he's dead! Excuse me.
You know when you said train, did you mean actual, real train? CHUCKLES Boop, boop! Hey, are you all right? Yeah.
Sorry.
No, it's OK.
Artie died days after his dad's win.
I never really got to know him.
Leroy went from being obsessed with trains to becoming obsessed with Artie.
As long as Leroy believes that Artie is alive, he won't be able to move on, and I don't want there to be three of us in this marriage.
Yes, I understand.
I mean, that's why we're here.
So we can help with that.
I'm sure you will.
Could you think of anyone that might want to prank Leroy? Maybe Owen Faulconbridge? Could he be jealous? Why would he? He has what Leroy doesn't, a son.
Yeah.
If you don't mind me asking, how did you meet Leroy? He's not the kind I usually go for! But I met him when I got the gig to present the lottery cheque.
So when you gave him the cheque was the first time you met him?font color="#00fff Wow.
What, and you just clicked? Yeah.
We just got talking.
Something about him.
I can't explain it.
He told me about trainspotting.
My dad was a basher.
Someone who likes to ride in trains rather than spot 'em.
OK, right.
So your dad was a basher.
Leroy and Artie are spotters.
I think I'm getting the hang of this.
What's up yon? Hey? What's up there on the footbridge? Oh, it's supposed to be a shrine, of sorts - for Artie, Leroy John's son.
Is that Leroy John, the millionaire? We trainspotted together for years, the four of us.
Leroy, Artie, Eddie and me.
Leroy and I even bought lottery tickets together.
Then Leroy stole our winnings.
He didn't, Eddie, to be fair.
We promised to give each other half if we won.
And we'd have given him half if we'd won.
His son died, Eddie.
We haven't spoken about it since Artie's death.
I don't care about the money.
I never have.
I'm sorry for bringing it up.
There's no need to be sorry.
Well, I'll be seeing you.
Eddie, I would stay, but I'm training in the morning.
Night, all.
Night.
We'll see you around, then.
Are you no' wee hame? Sorry, what? Are you not going home? No, um, staying a while.
Best train spotting is at night, so SHE SNORES, OWL HOOTS I'm not asleep! Well, if you weren't, you were doing a good impression of a walrus.
Why are you wearing my hat? I'm cold.
Sebastian called.
Apparently, Leroy promised Owen half of his winnings and didn't pay up.
Really?Mm-hm.
But Kaff said Owen had nothing to do with all this.
Well, we'll find out soon enough.
I hope one of them gets here soon.
Mm.
Hey, while we wait, shall we play Would You Rather?No.
What?Well, you always get upset.
I don't! I don't get upset.
I just I only get upset when you don't follow the rules.
But if you follow the rules, I'm not going to get upset, am I? So Shall I go first? I'll go first.
You go first.
Would you rather find true love or find £5 million? I would rather find £5 million because that will help me to find true love.
Ooh, you don't know.
Can't all be like Leroy John, can we? She does really love him, you know.
Would you rather? Hang on, it's my go! Would you rather teleport to the future or teleport to the past? Well, you have to be in the future to teleport to the past.
No, no, you see, it has to be one thing or another.
That's the rules.
Well, that's my answer.
My go.
No, no.
No, it has to be one thing or the other.
Would you rather fall asleep in a snowstorm? Or? That's it.
You were right! It is much better at night.
Yeah.
I used to do this with Artie most nights.
What was he like? Artie was the one who made trainspotting cool.
And he left to go to art school in Milan.
Spotting wasn't just a numbers game with him.
He loved trains.
The look, the feel.
Wanted to capture them.
Amazing! How did he get that shot? He was a daredevil, a maverick.
Would do anything to get the perfect shot.
Once got chased by the shed-master trying to sneak a glimpse of a Class 47 diesel! THEY CHUCKLE He was a legend.
He changed lives, including mine.
You know, in a way, you're keeping him alive in your photos.
Yeah, well, trying my best.
OWL HOOTS Long night, isn't it? Here, have a Bourbon, cheer yourself up.
I don't need cheering up.
Come on! LAUGHS MISCHIEVOUSLY I ate them all when you were asleep! Oh, look - one of the cameras has gone down.
Go and sort it out.
I'll go.
JUMPS WITH FRIGH THEY BOTH SHRIEK You nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought you were still in the car.
Yeah, well, some of us find it hard to follow rules.
Oooh! Oooh! Let's go and check the cameras.
Oh, wow! Artie looks like he was the real Alan Bailey of the trainspotting world, doesn't he? David Bailey.
/f Hm? There's nothing conclusive on the cameras.
So, we need to work out whose foot matches that glass slipper.
No, we need to work out whose foot matches that footprint.
It could be anyone, couldn't it? It could just be a thief.
Thief robs millionaire, it would not be a surprise.
He didn't take anything.
And Leroy said some of those trains are worth hundreds of thousands.
Well, it couldn't have been Eddie, because he was with me.
What about Owen? He left early.
He said he was training.
PHONE BEEPS Maybe training for that charity run that the stationmaster has been collecting money for.
Right, you go and find out if Owen is our runner.
We need to get back to Arden Junction.
Why? Leroy wants an update.
We need to tell him there isn't a ghost.
Refreshments are on their way.
So, anyone visit last night? Well, look, whatever is going on, it's not a ghost.
It's not Artie.
Who is it, then? We haven't worked that bit out yet.
Yeah, so it still could be Artie, then?I'm afraid not, Mr John.
Can a ghost move inanimate objects? Or make a footprint? You need to listen to him, Leroy.
No, you're mistaken.
It's Artie, I know it is! When he visits, I can feel his presence.
Artie's dead, Leroy.
You need to move on.
You don't understand.
I can't just move on.
You're not a parent.
It feels like I am with all this carry-on.
What's that supposed to mean? It means that things are crowded when they shouldn't be.
Sometimes I don't understand you.
These detectives have proof that someone has been breaking into our house, and instead of addressing that, you believe it is your dead son.
To tell the truth, I'm getting fed up of hearing about him.
I've lost my son.
What don't you get about that? That was five years ago! Katherine, don't be like that.
SIGHS Excuse me.
Can we have these to go, please? Yeah.
Planning this wedding is stressful enough.
Why are you even marrying me anyway? Everyone says I'm punching well above my weight.
Because I love you, stupid.
These flowers are as beautiful as you are.
Come on, let's go and brighten up that shrine.
I just hope they work things out, that's all.
They just have to face facts.
Sometimes opposites don't attract.
You're such a cynical old boot, Frank, you really are.
I know.
Seriously, though, it's obvious that they love each other.
You heard what Leroy said.
He knows he's punching above his weight.
Yeah, sometimes love is enough.
Yeah, and sometimes it isn't.
How did you get on? The Faulconbridges are an elusive lot.
I've looked everywhere.
They're not here, are they? It wouldn't matter if they were.
The case is closed.
No, it isn't.
Oh, yes, it is.
Oh, no, it isn't! HE CHUCKLES Anyway, just keep on the case, and let us know if you bump into them.
Back again? A wee donation for your charity run.
Thank you.
Are you all right there? Yeah, I just take these to keep me fit and healthy.
I see that you've got a bit of a healthy obsession with trains.
I wouldn't call it an obsession.
Many before you have fallen under the spell of the glorious beasts that run on the parallel lines.
Did you know that the rarest train is the William Shakespeare? I did! It ran for four months in 1951.
Yeah! People get obsessed by this.
I told you! Go, off you go.
Go, go.
Yeah.
Something doesn't add up.
Yeah, his cheque for starters.
Well, he's got a track record of not paying what he owes.
So, what do we know? Well, we know it can't have been Eddie.
He was with Sebastian.
But it could have been Owen.
What is it you always say to me? They must have means and motive.
Well, if his motive is to claim Leroy's winnings, why pull a prank? He'd just ask him for it.
Not everyone is as upfront as you are, Frank.
I don't know, maybe we should go and see Madame Ides, eh? March Street is only round the corner.
I'm serious PHONE RINGS Hello? Yeah, we're coming.
Lu? Yeah?It's Sebastian, something has happened back at the station.
Oh! That got my steps up! What's going on? Katherine fell off the bridge.
I heard she leant on a panel and it gave way.
Oh, no! Is she going to be all right? I think so.
She was unconscious but she's in the ambulance now.
Thank goodness you're here! I think Eddie wanted to kill me.
Why would Eddie want to kill you? Why do you think?! The money.
Calm down and tell us what happened.
We were on the footbridge, paying our respects like we always do.
And then .
.
Katherine just fell.
Cos one of the panels just gave way.
I tried to grab her but she was just hanging over the edge.
Eddie could have helped.
I called out to him but he was stood there watching.
I couldn't hold her on my own.
Excuse me? I need to check you out in the ambulance.
Eddie wanted to kill me, just like he killed Artie.
I don't understand.
There was nothing suspicious about Artie's death.
Grief, like guilt, can be expressed in many ways.
Eddie? We just want to find out what happened to Katherine.
Could you tell us what you saw? Um, I heard a shout and I saw Leroy holding on to Katherine over the edge.
He was screaming at me to help but I couldn't.
I just froze.
It wasn't my fault.
You were there when Artie died, weren't you? Look, we just want to know.
Just leave me alone.
Do you think he's capable of hurting someone? I think someone in that state is capable of anything.
Did you notice where he was just before Kaff fell off the bridge? They were on the bridge already by the time I got here.
This doesn't look like an accident.
The bolts are missing.
With them gone, the whole section could easily come down.
This changes everything.
We could be looking at attempted murder.
Eddie seemed quite upset.
Do you think he did have something to do with it? Well, there's something he's not telling us.
I do, luckily, have his address.
That's not far.
I'll go.
You stay here in case he comes back.
Mr Faulconbridge, can I have a word? If it's about Artie's death, I've already told you all I know.
I don't want to talk about Artie.
I'd like to talk about Eddie.
Well, you'd better come in, then.
So, what's this all about? I'm worried about Eddie.
Social worker as well as a private investigator, are you? We ran into him at the station and heard Leroy blaming Eddie for Artie's death.
And you believed him? I told you, you can't trust Leroy as far as you can throw him.
What's happened? It's Katherine, she fell off the footbridge.
We think Eddie might have loosened the bolts on one of the panels, hoping Leroy would fall next time he visited the shrine.
But Katherine fell instead.
Why would Eddie want to hurt Leroy? Owen, you're not helping him by keeping quiet.
Eddie and Artie were like brothers, they went everywhere together.
See, I think deep down Leroy was jealous of that.
And he blames Eddie for his son's death? There must be more to it than that.
After Artie finished uni, he came back home.
And by this point, he was really working on his photography.
And he wanted to share that with his dad.
But his dad's an old-fashioned train spotter and not into anything new-fangled.
He saw Eddie as encouraging Artie to take risks.
After the accident, he told anyone who would listen that Eddie was there and was somehow to blame for Artie's death.
It was that accusation that ruined our friendship.
It was never about the money.
Eddie began to believe Leroy's lies and started to blame himself.
Hang on.
Didn't you say that Eddie and Artie were always together? Yeah, but they weren't together when he died.
But that's not right.
Eddie told us he was there.
Where is he now? He's upstairs.
Eddie? Oh.
Where do you think he's gone? I don't know.
But in his state, there's no telling what he could do.
PHONE RINGS Hello? Frank, you need to get here, now! Eddie's up on the footbridge and he just won't come down.
Come on.
Don't do it! Eddie, you come down here.
It isnae worth it! Please, please, don't jump! What are you talking about? All I wanted was there to be a fitting tribute to Artie.
So you're not going to jump? Of course not.
Are you sure you're private investigators? Oh.
What are you doing here? I just wanted to let everybody know that Katherine is going to be OK.
Oh, oh! Oh! Good for you.
What's going on here? Oh, now, that's what I call a beautiful model.
Do you remember when the driver let us stand on the footplate? Oh, yes, I do! The Flying Swan, on a steam special.
EDDIE: It was the last photograph he ever took.
So you undid the bolts so you could attach that to the bridge? Katherine shouldn't have been there.
I hadn't finished.
You weren't to know she'd be there.
We all understand, it was an accident.
Artie's death was an accident as well.
I was there when he died.
I told you.
I was right.
Artie loved you.
Would do anything to please you, but you're a hard man to please.
That night, I was there to help.
I was the one who told him to climb over and get the perfect shot.
If I hadn't pushed him to take that last shot, he would still be alive.
It wasn't your fault, Eddie.
You were a good friend.
I should have been a better dad.
Yeah.
You should have.
You only were after he died.
But even then, not enough to spend your winnings on a decent tribute.
Artie meant more to me than all the money.
I would give the whole lot away just to bring him back.
For both of us.
Well, thanks again.
And, um, this is for you.
Thank you muchly! I'll take that.
We're really glad that Kaff .
.
Katherine is going to make a full recovery.
Oh, it's only a wedding invitation.
No offence.
Only?! To the wedding of the year! Thank you.
Excuse us, we've got money to discuss.
No, I told you, I don't want your money.
Are you doing the charity race this year, then? Not this year, no! CHUCKLES Aw, did you hear that? Yeah, he'd better have sent the cheque to Sebastian.
Why? We didn't solve the case.
Yeah, that's Sebastian's fault, isn't it? He was supposed to talk to the suspects.
Maybe he got sidetracked.
Tracks.
It rained last night, didn't it? Yeah.
Then now is the perfect time to look for footprints.
Come on.
Frank, look at that.
No, that's a couple of sizes too small.
And it's a different pattern.
What about that one? Get the photo out.
Let's have a look.
Zoom in.
What do you think? It's similar but Yeah, let's follow it.
Here, Frank, that's the same.
Yep.
There.
Frank.
Another one.
Perry! You've got some explaining to do.
What? It's you, isn't it? Look, I don't want any trouble.
It was you I chased that night, wasn't it? If we looked at those boots, do you think they'd match the footprints I found at Angers House? Am I under arrest? No, we're not the police.
It wouldn't matter even if we were.
Leroy's dropped the trespassing charges.
So what are you going to do? I think it's about time you came clean to Leroy John, don't you? My name's Perry Smee.
You might know me as the platform assistant at the Arden Junction Railway Station.
"Where are you going to?" Yeah! THEY LAUGH Um I was diagnosed with cardiomegaly What's that when it's at home? My heart was too big for my body.
The heart walls became very thin.
Ah! Do you want sponsorship? Is that what all this is about? Please, just hear him out.
Um, so before that I was a burglar.
I was good at it.
There wasn't a single drainpipe I couldn't shimmy up or a window I couldn't pry open.
I wanted to get to know more about Artie.
How he lived and how he died.
It was you! I needed someone with a good heart.
That was your son.
Receiving Artie's heart gave me a second chance.
So, Artie I didn't mean to break in, I didn't mean to cause any problems.
Why didn't you just ask us instead of breaking in? I thought you wouldn't take me seriously.
So Artie is part of you? Yeah, yes, yeah.
Oh, my goodness.
This place in which you have now met has been duly sanctioned according to law for the celebration of marriages, and we are here today to witness the joining of matrimony of this couple and to share in their happiness.
What am I? You're a private investigator, Frank, if you don't know that now No.
.
.
Then he or she must declare it now.
I'm a train spotter.
LAUGHS LOUDLY Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
HEARTBEAT THUDS Artie was able to come to the wedding after all.
APPLAUSE Leroy John and Katherine Corazon, your vows are your promises to each other.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
THEY ALL CHEER Woo woo! I must say, it was a lovely ceremony.
Francis Hathaway! I mean, we know I love a wedding and Sebastian definitely does but you, you big softie! CHUCKLES Where is Sebastian? Hello.
Oh, hey.
Are you coming to the reception? Yes, but in a bit.
I've just been told that the actual William Shakespeare is expected at any minute.
The actual William Shakespeare? Didn't he die 400 years ago? Not the playwriting genius, the train! Don't you know anything? I do know one thing - that Madame Ides was right.
Who'd have thought Sebastian would be into trains? Mm.
Who'd have thought you would? What? I saw you playing with Leroy's train set.
Oh, hello!Well, I wasn't playing.
I was conducting an investigation.
Come on.
TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS