Steven Universe (2013) s04e08 Episode Script

- Garnet: # We # - # Are the Crystal # - Steven: # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # Steven: # and if you think we can't # All: # we'll always find a way # - # that's why the people # - # of this world # - Garnet: # believe in # - # Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # Steven: # And Steven! # [Wind blows, leaves rustle.]
Peridot! Lapis! I'm here! Did you forget your favorite Steven was coming over to spend the night? Aha! A door-knocky thing! Unh! [Clatter.]
Hey, that looks new.
Peridot! Lapis! I'm sorry I broke your door thingy! I wanted to fix it, but I don't know how it goes together.
Makes a pretty neat mask, though.
Wow! Did I just die and go to the back of a cereal box? Ah! Aaaah! Hi, Steven.
Steven! I'm on a tractor! Did I spray you by accident? [chuckle.]
Just a little.
[Blubbering.]
[chuckle.]
So glad you could make it.
Steven! How do you like our little Uhh! Experiment?! It's amazing.
What made you wanna start farming stuff, all of a sudden? I have all the skills required for growing Gems.
I figured, why not try growing something else? Who knows? Maybe they're ready right now.
Mnh! Yah! Hello, corn.
Maybe she can't hear me in there.
I made you in my image! You will do as I say! [laughs.]
Wait.
You didn't think the corn was gonna walk right out of the ground when you told it to, did you? That's not how vegetables work.
It's not? Well, then, what's the point of corn?! I have to admit, I've really been starting to miss the pitter-patter of full-sized Gem soldiers.
It does get pretty quiet around here.
Come on, Lapis.
Let's go disassemble the tractor.
All they wanted to do is make a living vegetable.
Wait! I know how to do that.
Garnet says not to lick stuff I find on the ground, but, this is for a good cause.
[Insects buzz.]
[Leaves rustle.]
Hurry, Steven! Peridot, slow down.
But you need to see.
We did it! [Barking.]
Guess you don't know how vegetables work, after all.
[Laughs.]
Yeah.
You guys sure showed me.
[Continues barking.]
Come, now, my little creation.
You can assist in harvesting the rest of your kind.
[Whines.]
[Barking.]
[Whines.]
Uh, must be the pumpkin treats in my back pocket.
[chuckle.]
That doesn't make sense.
We made it! It should listen to us! It's only just come into existence and it already doesn't like us.
Oh, come on.
[chuckle.]
Go to Peridot and Lapis.
Oop.
[purring.]
Ahhhh.
I'm sorry.
I think he's coming to me because I'm the one who made him.
Oh.
That explains it.
Well, we made this one.
It'sokay.
But look at Steven's.
[crying.]
It has a face, and everything.
It's true.
Ours doesn't have a face.
Oh, no! Don't be sad.
Wait right here.
I have an idea! [Barking.]
My dad showed me how to do this, once.
[Panting.]
First, we make a mouth.
Nyah! Huh? Then we make two eyes.
[Whimpering.]
Hmm, lookin' pretty good.
Oh, you know what? I almost forgot a really important step.
Nyah! [Innards squelch.]
You have to hollow it out.
[Splat!.]
Aah! Aah-aah! Aah-aah-aah! [Panting.]
[Growl.]
Ahhh.
Yay! It loves us now.
[Barking.]
Awww, it's okay, Veggie Head.
That brute can't get you now.
Oh.
[chuckle.]
It's nice to have a new addition to the family.
[Vroom!.]
Huh? [New York accent.]
Ah what?! What the?! Hobos broke into the barn.
Hey! Don't you touch our things! You're hobettes? A hobo is a man's job.
Who's the human and what's he yelling about? The real question is: where are my attack drones? [Beeping.]
Wait a minute.
Those mysterious constructions, your weird appearance, your strange jewels.
I know what you are.
You're hippies! I heard about you on AM radio.
What are you doin', comin' in here, socializin' this fine, American barn? [Beeping.]
Ugh.
Whaaah! Oh, there they are.
Wait! Don't hurt him! But he's attacking us, and our home.
Uh, hello! How's it goin'?! Uh, how do you think? Uh, yeah We just wanted to know what you want.
What I want? I want you hippies out of my barn! Your barn? [Rustling.]
[Jazz plays.]
There they are.
Greg got your message and we came, too.
Is that the human giving you trouble? I told you you two could use a guard dog.
[Barking.]
I guess that works.
What're you doin' to that guy up there? Just putting him down.
Uhhh! Not cool.
Greg? Andy? They know each other? This is perfect! Come on, help me chase off these freeloaders.
They're usin' some kinda hippie mind tricks.
- Um - Who told you you could move in here and mess this whole place up? I did, Andy.
You did? This is my parents' barn.
Um, Dad, who's this? "Dad"? You mean? No way.
Steven, this is Andy.
He's my cousin.
Andy, meet Steven.
He's my son.
Wow! It's really nice to meet you! Does that mean you're my first cousin, once removed? - Forget that nonsense.
- Oyyy! Huah! Nyah! You call me Uncle Andy.
I'm an uncle.
I can't believe it.
Greg, ya little turd, how come you never told me? How was I supposed to?! I haven't seen you in years! And whose fault is that? You thought you were so much better than us, you just got in your van and drove away.
That was like two decades ago! Uncle Andy, can I get down now? Oh, sorry, Steven.
I'm not used to holdin' nephews.
'Cause I didn't know I had one! So, uh, which one of these girls is the wife? I gotta give her my condolences, right? [Laughs.]
Hey, come on.
What, I gotta guess, here? It's gotta be you.
I bet this useless lump needs a big girl to keep him in line.
You're not big.
I'm just sayin'.
You're tall, not, you know.
Rose is no longer with us.
Uh, wow.
I-I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
These people are sort of like her family, so I offered to let these two stay in the barn.
Yeah? Ah, well, that was real nice of ya.
But the barn's for the DeMayo family.
Wh-What's a DeMayo? Andy DeMayo.
Greg DeMayo.
Steven DeMayo.
We're the DeMayos.
Actually, we're, um, the Universes, now.
You space walnut! You didn't even keep the family name, but you're goin' around, givin' family property out like candy onsome kind of candy-givin'-out holiday? You're telling me Universe isn't a real last name?! It is a real name.
I had it changed.
Andy, look, they just really needed a place.
They're alien refugees from space and They're illegal.
aliens?! Wha? You couldn't even marry an American?! What does that matter?! DeMayo's a much cooler name than plain old Universe.
You turned your back on your family, just so you could get in with a bunch of weirdo, hippie, Martian immigrants?! You two, get the heck off my planet, out of my country, and out of my barn! Reactivating attack drones.
Ah! Wait! Uncle Andy? Yeah? I'm sorry we took over the barn.
I didn't even know we had any other family to share it with.
You didn't, huh? But this barn? It means a lot to all of us.
We spent so much time together here.
Well, my family spent a lot of time here, too.
Once a year, we'd all meet up here, catch up, eat a big meal, have a good time.
Years and years of family tradition.
Oh, yeah? Well, we can do that, too.
We've got a farm here, with plenty of food.
Let's make a big, traditional meal, and eat it together.
You'll have a good time, and then, you'll have to admit they're family.
And would you kick family out of the family barn? Ahh Greg, you're lucky you got such a cute kid.
I know he didn't get it from you.
So, you're letting them I'll give your coven a chance and eat your dinner, but only 'cause I lost my sandwich in the Atlantic.
Now, excuse me.
I gotta go get my junk out of the plane.
You think this'll work? Maybe.
Andy's never been the type to change his mind about something, and he's really got his longjohns in a twist.
It's gonna take a lot to calm him down.
I don't like this guy.
I don't like some ugh new Greg just showin' up outta nowhere.
Our Greg is clearly the superior one.
We're not leaving our home.
If that clod thinks he can push us around! Andy is a part of Steven's family.
We should make an effort to get on his good side.
If he's my family, then he's yours, too.
Gems don't have family.
At least, not before we came here.
So, for the sake of our family, tell us what to do.
[Ethereal tune plays.]
Let's get cookin'.
[Upbeat tune plays.]
Peridot: Okay.
Gimme the next row.
All right.
[Thud!.]
Whoa.
Your aunt is, uh, pretty strong.
She works out.
Yeah, I'll bet.
[Laughing.]
[Barking.]
[Barking.]
[Panting.]
[Barking.]
[Steven chuckles.]
[Barking continues.]
Rahh! Sorry.
Fly ball.
Unh! Yeah! This looks amazing! [Barking.]
For a vegetable garden, I'd say we're pretty fruitful.
Is it just gonna be a bunch of vegetables? [sigh.]
I shoulda figured.
You're a bunch of vegetarians! A vegetable grown by a family's love nurtures the body and soul.
Ah, don't let 'em get to ya, Steven.
I'll getcha a stick o' pepperoni for your birthday.
[Chugging.]
[Whoosh!.]
Hmm Let's turn it down to around 2,000 degrees, for now.
Sounds puny.
I like the propeller on it.
It's like it's Andy-themed.
I bet he's gonna love this.
We're ready for the veggies now! Be over in a sec, Stu-ball.
Mm! Seems like too much, if ya ask me [Chugging.]
Awww, what have you done?! [Hyperventilating.]
Uh, Uncle Andy? Dude, what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong, du-u-de.
Everything! Can you not see this abomination sittin' right in front of you?! What are you talking about? It's the engine, boy.
The engine! They butchered my parents' plane and made made whatever this thing is! It's an oven/ cooktop combo.
It's terrible! That was the heart of the legendary wings of the Daring DeMayos.
I learned to fly on this plane! No one was even using that junk.
Now, it's actually good for something.
See, that's the problem with people like you.
You think everything just belongs to you, 'cause nothing belongs to anybody, and you take it and everything's cool.
And it ain't cool! - Andy? - I'm gonna need a moment.
I-I can't look at this right now.
- Uh - Andy, hold up! - They didn't know! - Right, I get it: in-laws.
This is going down in flames.
I'm sure Greg will turn this around.
What do you mean, you weren't technically married?! Look, Andy We gotta up our game.
It's going to take the ultimate party to turn this around.
Like, all the best parties of all time, put together! I think that's doable.
See you in a bit! Have fu-u-u-n! Ready? [Barking.]
What's got into Pumpkin? [Whimpering.]
Whoa! Chill out, dude.
You sure I can't help you with anything? Ah, it's okay.
Uncle Andy and I got it.
Whoa! It's one peel! Aunt Deb and I usually got put on kitchen duty when the family got together.
I've peeled a lotta potatoes in my day.
Ah, man, what's Aunt Deb been up to, lately? Suddenly, you care about Aunt Deb? Oh, Mr.
Curiosity.
Let's see if I can cram 20 years into a sentence.
[Twinkle!.]
Uh, I'm gonna get these on the stove.
Sure.
[chuckles.]
Hey, it works.
You know, I guess it's good these plane parts are gettin' some use.
I mean, maybe recyclin' isn't so bad.
Looks like you got a new plane, anyway.
She's a good one, too.
Been all over the world in that thing.
You've been all over the world? You better believe it.
It's really somethin' else, you know? Just you and the hum of your engine up in that thin air.
No other people, no livin' things around to, uh, keep you company.
But, you know, it's not like there's much for me down on the ground, these days either, so.
Uh, Uncle Andy? [Horn honks.]
Your aunts are back.
[Upbeat tune plays.]
So, Andy, we heard you like marriage, so we thought "Why don't we all marry each other?" Ta-da! And, if that's not human enough for you, we can throw in a little being born and some dying.
We're very sorry for your marriage.
We tried to cover as many celebrations in the human life span as we could.
Nice.
Oh, boy! [Laughing.]
Okay, okay, I give up.
It's too much! [Laughs.]
All right.
Where am I sitting? Whaddya say we get right to it, huh? And, hey, if we're throwin' all tradition out the window, anyway, why don't we start with this gorgeous cake? Dessert before dinner.
[Laughs.]
Where are my manners? Steven, pass it to your friend.
Oh.
Where are my manners? Oh.
Where are my manners? Oh! Thank you, Lapis.
But where are my manners? Ohhh! Where are my manners? Andy.
What? You guys don't like cake? Gems don't really eat.
Well, except for Amethyst.
I'm good.
I had like, three bottles of cooking oil earlier.
Agggghhhh! That's uh all right.
That's what we forgot: more cooking oil.
And the shopping cart! We should've taken it.
We could've put it in the wall next to the truck.
That would've been stealing.
'Cause it's made out of steel? Didn't we save the Earth? We should have access to everything on it, by right! Or at least get a discount.
You guys think you're savin' the Earth? Saving the Earth from Homeworld is its own reward.
You know what else would be a reward? A reward! All right.
We don't want to start another Gem War at the table.
Ooh, don't start it.
[chuckling.]
What if I just came to this table and started colonizing it, 'cause I'm a Homeworld Gem? [Laughter.]
[Gasps.]
But you can't! This table has corn on it and it's beautiful and we'll defend it! [Laughter.]
Oh! You're right.
Now that I've spent time at the table, I can see the value of your corn! [Laughter.]
Why don't you put that corn in a mirror for thousands of years and then see how it feels about the table.
[Laughter.]
Really hate the table! You know what? Thank you, Steven.
Putting this meal together was a great idea.
Oh, no, I should be thanking Garnet.
She gathered up all the vegetables.
Lapis and Peridot grew them.
Thank you.
Oh, but, it was Pearl who drove us to the "store.
" Well, I have to thank Steven for cooking; the vegetables and Amethyst, for putting out that grease fire.
And starting it.
Oh, and, thanks to Greg for lending his van.
I guess you could say we can thank everyone.
Yes.
Was everyone thanked? Raise your hand if you were thanked! [Insects buzz.]
Hey, uh, what about Andy? Hmm Thank you, Andy, for showing up! Because of you, everyone came out here to the barn and and, now, we're all in one place together for the first time in a while.
And it's actually pretty great.
So, cheers! Cheers! [Laughter.]
Ah.
You can have it.
The barn.
It's yours.
Did we do something wrong? I thought I said something really sentimental.
[Engine buzzing.]
No! Wait! He can't leave! Lapis.
Hmm.
[Guitar strums.]
Uhh.
What was I thinkin'? Hi, Uncle Andy! Ah! What?! What are you doin', kid?! I thought everything was going really well.
Is something wrong? Yeah, something's wrong.
You're a mile in the sky, hangin' off a floatin' lady! Go home! [Panting.]
Why'd you leave? I'm the only one who didn't.
It was your goofball father who was the first one to hightail it outta here.
Then, after him, it was Aunt Deb.
She and her partner got the RV.
No reason to stick around, with that thing.
Grandpa moved to the Keys.
Too old to make the drive anymore.
I was the only one who tried to keep everything how it used to be.
I knew what it meant to really be a family.
And look what that got me, huh? Nothin'! Ah! No! Wait! Hold on.
Aaaaah! Ah-grrrrrrr! Lapis, throw me onto the plane.
Okay.
What?! I swear, if you throw him, I'll Wh-Whoa-oa! Unh! I'll meet you back at the barn! Roger.
[Engine sputters.]
Whoa! You're throwin' off my balance! You're gonna bring us both down! Andy! I love that we both eat cake! What?! And you have that cool hat! And you know how to peel potatoes.
And you need a plane to fly.
I love the Gems, but, I'm a human, too.
I never had a chance to know that part of my family, but, now, I do.
Andy, I want to be your family.
Isn't that why you came back? [Tender tune plays.]
Ahhh! Aah! Steven, you better hold on! [Sputtering.]
Unh! Ah! Steven! Steven! Float, float, float! Apple pie, videogames, fresh laundry.
[Upbeat tune plays.]
Andy! [Splash!.]
[Tender tune plays.]
That was a close one, Uncle Andy.
You sure are good at Do you have any idea what coulda happened to you?! What good are you to me as family if you're? Sorry.
Look, I just ah, I'm just glad that you're safe.
It just doesn't feel fair.
Everything got so different.
I wanted everybody to stay the same, but they they just didn't.
Jeez, what am I even doin'? I got an airplane.
I could've been visitin' everybody, everywhere they went.
I could've known about you.
I guess I could've just changed, too, you know.
It's not too late.
We're here.
If you want us to be.
No! Say "clod.
" Cuh-lah-duh.
[Barking.]
[Engine buzzes.]
- Steven! - Hi-i! Andy, it's good to see you again.
- I'm sorry if - Hey, uh, you guys probably got a lotta leftovers, right? I-I just figured I'd come back and help you with that.
You know, since you don't eat, and all.
Yes, of course.
We'll get everything in order.
Well, thanks for the barn! Hey, Andy? I'm really glad you came back.
Ah, c'mere, you goofball.
[Laughs.]
You need a haircut, son.
[Laughter.]
[Barking.]
Pumpkin! Hey, you got some leftovers for me, too, you little you little freak o' nature, there? Byahhh! [Laughter.]
That's, uh That's gross.
[Eerie music plays.]