Succession (2018) s04e08 Episode Script

1
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
JERYD MENCKEN: (ON TV)
Sleepwalking into oblivion.
Uncontrolled migration,
hyperinflation, rampant crime,
- cultural Marxism
- Here we go.
- (MENCKEN CONTINUES SPEAKING ON TV)
- The 5:00 p.m.
- All good?
- Yeah, I'm good, Greg,
considering it's my
first post-Logan election,
and I have Cyd, uh, running around town,
spitting poison like a fucking
king cobra with an iPhone.
I have, uh, PGN to the left of me,
I have FVA to the right.
I gotta deliver the best
election numbers ever
'cause my bosses wanna rip my heart out
as a peace offering
- to all comers. So, no, Greg.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
You know, I'm a little bit tense.
Just a little bit. Little tense.
Well, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
- (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- ATN NEWS REPORTER: I got to the polling
location at 11:00 a.m.,
I thought it was very odd
the lines were short
- Hey, Tom.
- TOM WAMBSGANS: Hey, Ken.
You good? You feeling good?
Needs to be gangbusters
tonight, man. Yeah?
TOM: Yeah, you got it. You got it.
All right, need those numbers, T.
Really wanna see those
numbers, Tom, okay?
- TOM: Okay.
- Market's watching.
First Super Bowl. How we gonna
cope without the king? Right?
Okay, got it, Ken. All good, all good.
- Hey, Pam. How's it looking?
- Uh, bit of crackle.
We have a news van in a
bit of trouble in Oregon.
Things looking fighty in Milwaukee
Did you see the viral
thing about the woman,
um, who voted, like,
40 times for Jimenez
under her dead mom's name?
We tracked her down. Not super reliable.
She's not a well person.
She's Well, you're not a doctor, Pam.
Until you qualify, why
don't you get her on the air?
Oof! Long night in dress shoes?
Cyd used to go for these sort
of slip-ons with a padded sock.
Yeah, probably 'cause she
couldn't get her cloven hooves
into her regular shoes.
I'm perfectly comfortable,
Pam. I've got good arches.
- PAM: All right.
- They've been remarked upon.
DARWIN PERRY: Five p.m.
exit polls, come on.
- Five p.m.
- Hey, Darwin. You don't, um
Oh, they're cool. Um, you don't
you don't do anything
special tonight, do you?
Just somebody was talking
about adult diapers?
DARWIN: Oh, no, I think there's
always time for the bathroom.
Fine. Okay, thanks.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Okay. Excuse me. Coming through.
Coming through here. Coming through.
Hey, everybody. So,
terms and conditions.
Forgive me, those of you
who already know this.
You get, uh, you get some rest though?
- (DARWIN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- No, no. Marital strife.
Can I hear a "Got it"?
- ALL: Got it.
- Thank you. Also, what we're about to tell you
- TOM: (QUIETLY) How was your night?
- GREG HIRSCH: With Matsson?
Pretty monstrous. His crew
knows some unseemly venues.
I danced with an old man.
- What?
- Yeah. He didn't want to dance,
but they made us dance.
He was so confused.
I drank things that
aren't normally drinks.
And I I got the impression
Do you know about Matsson
with Shiv and their sort of
like, their their
business alliance agreement?
Well, I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.
GREG: Okay, I didn't think so.
Do you wanna strategize?
You wanna fry her ass up?
Information, Greg.
It's like a bottle of fine wine.
You store it, you hoard it,
you save it for a special occasion.
And then you smash someone's
fucking face in with it.
- Nice.
- So, what we're hearing is,
and remember, this is not decisive,
what we're seeing is Mencken
may be over-performing
in Georgia and Arizona.
So, our early read would be
closer than polls have suggested.
Close, but Jimenez likely edging
- on what we've seen.
- Boo!
- (CHUCKLING)
- DARWIN: Listen, this is privileged information.
Leaks that suppress or encourage turnout
could result in our ejection
from the National Election Pool, okay?
- (ALL MURMURING)
- Yeah, you heard the man.
Zip it.
That's great.
Okay, Tom says exit polls
say looks like Jimenez.
- No leaks.
- (GROANS)
That's great. I mean, I
got four smileys from Gil.
They think they've got it.
I have got eggplant,
eggplant, flag from Mencken.
Well, two eggplants is not as much
as four smileys, obviously.
Four smileys is symptomatic
of the complacency
at the heart of his
out-of-touch campaign.
Eggplant, eggplant, flag reeks
of the misogynistic bravado
that has so repelled the median voter.
- Huh? Hmm?
- Jesus. Oh, I feel sick.
- Oh, why? It's fun.
- (SHIV ROY SIGHS)
My team is playing your team.
It's only spicy 'cause if my team wins,
- they're gonna shoot your team.
- Okay, but what are you hearing, seriously?
Are these your vans? The Nazi vans?
The van? Oh, the the fun vans?
The, uh, the fun buses? Yeah.
SHIV: Yeah, in Florida,
they picked people up
telling them they were
taking them to vote,
and then a kid got left by the highway.
It's fucking kidnapping, Rome.
It's fucking kidnapping
now? False flag. Nice try.
Kidnapping. (CHUCKLES) It's kidnapping.
- Hey!
- SHIV: Lukas! Hey.
So, it's looking like Jimenez.
Which is good for
democracy and great for us.
- LUKAS MATSSON: Okay.
- So, either way,
I think that we consider
releasing your, you know,
your funky numbers, maybe tomorrow?
Day after tomorrow? Just
get ahead of the numbers
and, you know, I can come
up with some language.
Yeah, I was I was
talking last night to Oskar
and Gregory Peggory about that.
Uh, I'm sorry, you
spoke to Greg about this?
Yeah, well, he was
part of a conversation,
just as a normalist.
And, uh And then I was wondering,
you know, maybe we
Maybe we keep my
my terrible secret a secret, you know?
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- Okay. Uh
Yeah, look, let me
have a think about that.
I gotta I gotta take this.
I'll I'll I'll call you back.
Nate.
How's things in Mission Control Denver?
Are you in at ATN, Shiv?
SHIV: Upstairs. Leave
it to them, Dad's rules.
Well, they need to be
covering the intimidation.
It's pretty dark, Shiv.
Who watches the watchmen, you know?
"Who watches the
watchmen?" I fucking do.
- You getting good numbers?
- NATE SOFRELLI: Good.
I'm just watching the weather.
Storm clouds in Nevada.
We got people in line.
Disturbance in Wisconsin.
But, uh, yeah, yeah.
Scared, but good.
Precinct data is
Pennsylvania, Arizona could be tough.
Let's keep this channel
open on all things
Matsson and me, and the new ATN, yeah?
All things good.
All right. So, Jimenez wins,
and he just waves the
fucking deal through.
And then we're what?
I guess, fucking last ditch, the board?
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- The shareholders?
Okay, uh, Jeryd wants face-to-face.
Okay. Me too?
Um, I doubt it. I'm asking.
Do you wanna try Gil, or
maybe direct to Jimenez?
It feels kinda sweaty.
Maybe I wait a day.
A day I I mean, I guess,
today's the fucking day, right?
Like, today's the day the rooster
puts its head in our hands.
- Today is the moment of
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
maximum leverage. Uh, yeah.
Nope, it looks like just me.
It's a bit tight for both of us.
(CHUCKLES) Fuck him.
All right, go, go, go.
- ROMAN ROY: I'm going.
- Sure, sure.
ROMAN: Let me know
what you come up with.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
- KENDALL ROY: Hey, Rava.
- RAVA ROY: Hey, listen, um,
- we we are all okay
- Yeah?
RAVA: but, um, we're
a bit, uh, freaked out.
There is an SUV. Well,
uh, we we think
there's an SUV, and
it's it's following us.
So, um, can we come to the office?
Because, uh, you have good
security at the office?
What's the license plate?
- RAVA: The license is T 3
- Is it, uh, T TR
- RAVA: I can't
- Right, 'cause it's probably
It's probably mine. I
didn't want Sophie to freak,
so I just I just actioned it.
Are you (SCOFFS) You're
Oh, my God. You're having me followed
with th th this
covert surveillance
to show you care? The actual fuck, Ken?
Just an extra layer of
bubble wrap for her and Ivey.
Are you guys okay? You okay?
- Is she okay?
- She's, um, scared, Ken. Okay?
- I'm (SIGHS) I am scared.
- KENDALL: Rava, Rava.
- Listen, just
- I don't know what
There there is
there is shit burning,
- there is intimidation. I don't understand
- Relax, okay? Relax.
Tell Sophie, I love her,
and that is why I do everything I do.
Okay, Soph? Soph, I
love you, sweetie, okay?
Nothing's gonna happen.
Exit polls say Jimenez, okay?
I won't let the world
push you, okay, sweetie?
- Okay.
- (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (MUSIC FADES) ♪
- Ken.
KENDALL: Hey, man. Just just calling
to say good luck. Great numbers.
- NATE: Thanks, man.
- KENDALL: And, um,
listen, apologies if
if things got a bit heated.
A lot of shit going down.
Victory vans and shitheads
kicking off in Milwaukee.
- ATN wanna cover?
- Yeah, I'll I'll I'll talk,
uh, but gotta let them do
their thing. But, yeah, yeah.
- NATE: Okay.
- Listen, you got Daniel there?
You know, let me, uh, let me see.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
DANIEL JIMENEZ: Yeah, come in.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
NATE: Sir, are you here for Kendall Roy?
- Hey, Kendall.
- Hey, Dan. Hey, man.
Good luck. Just, uh
- Just best of luck.
- Thanks, man.
- Uh, great to speak.
- KENDALL: Yeah.
But, uh But when this is over,
uh, I think there needs to be
a big conversation about tech,
- is all I'd say.
- Great to speak.
I'm gonna put Nate back on.
Sure. And and and may the best man
who will, you know,
protect American jobs
and reign in tech and
is called Daniel win,
- you know?
- (CHUCKLES)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Let's catch up. Have a good one, man.
Yeah, sure. Sure, man.
You know, tonight, my
eye is just right here,
making sure it's fair
as fuck, all right?
Have a good night, man. Stay hydrated.
(MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Hey, come on.
- ROMAN: Yep. Hell yeah.
Thank you.
ROMAN: Busy, busy. Hello, hello!
Look at you! Losing it,
like a massive fucking loser.
MENCKEN: Yeah. Well, I blame you.
- Couldn't deliver Connor, huh?
- Whoops.
ATN scared to run all the fraud?
ROMAN: Well, I keep
my hands out, you know?
Fuck you. What is this? 'Cause,
you know, I'm quite busy.
- Oh, you're busy?
- Yes, I am busy.
I don't run around town like
some fucking food-bike guy,
- you know?
- MENCKEN: Yeah.
Just, uh, wanted to say a
couple things. (CLEARS THROAT)
Yeah?
Very directly. (SIGHS)
We still think we can win.
- Sure.
- But I am very focused
on losing.
- (CHUCKLES) All right.
- MENCKEN: Winning is easy.
Winning would take care of itself.
- Sure.
- But if I lose
I need to work on what assholes
would call "The narrative."
Uh-huh. Uh, like a "insurgent campaign,
unfairly maligned as extremist
by the coastal masturbation factories."
Exactly. If I lose,
I want it correctly characterized
as a huge victory.
- Over-performed, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
I want to be the
president. I want you to
be a partner in that,
and if it isn't tonight,
it will be next time.
Even if you're not going
to be the president,
you're going to be our president.
Exactly. You, me, we'll go far.
ROMAN: Over the road and into the bar.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
GREG: So, listen, at some point tonight
could we do a chat, uh,
in terms of the the me of things,
- and, like, how to play it?
- (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Because Matsson, he
treated me quite abominably,
but it felt, like, trusting and he
was saying a lot of things, and
Okay, okay. Enough, enough, enough.
- Where's my coffee?
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
Tom, I don't do coffee anymore
TOM: No, Greg!
Greg, I have to be clear. I have to.
If I get drowsy,
and I miscall Colorado,
instability, right?
Then the US loses credibility,
China spots an opportunity
and invades Taiwan.
Tactical nukes. Fucking
shit goes kablooey
and we're back to amoeba.
It's a long way back from pond life,
'cause you failed to get
me a double shot, okay?
Okay. Well, do you
- (TOM SIGHS)
- do you want some of what you asked for?
Um, no, I don't I don't think so.
What do you think?
Maybe no. I me Election night?
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
- (GREG HESITATES)
- Um
- GREG: Your your call. I mean
Yeah, hit me. But this
is not a not a thing.
Okay? It's not going in a book.
- It's just Yeah, okay.
- Yeah. Quick, quick.
Quick as a whistle.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(INDISTINCT ON TV)
GREG: Oh. What do we
have here? What's on the,
- uh, the board?
- What's on the board?
- GREG: Want it?
- Thanks.
GREG: Just rubbing the board innocently.
Simply cleaning the whiteboard here.
(TOM SNIFFS)
- Okay.
- Uh
- TOM: Here you go.
- No, no. Not not for me.
- What?
- No. I'm just starting
- to feel normal from last night.
- What, you'll do it with Matsson,
and not with me?
I don't want you looking
all judgy all night. Come on.
No, I need a clear head, and
I don't wanna get addicted
- from two nights in a row.
- Shut up, Greg. Don't be Mom.
- Come on.
- I don't want to, please.
Greg, it's medically good
for your brain. It is.
What are you saying,
all Aztecs are stupid?
Don't be a racist, little
bitch about it. Come on.
- GREG: Yeah, okay.
- Come on.
Don't What? Are you pretending?
- No, I'm
- Are you pretending to do coke?
- Some got up.
- Well, fucking do it.
- All right. (SNIFFS)
- There. God!
(CLAPS HANDS) Okay.
What the fuck is that?
Oh, that. I guess they
They were ordering some for folks,
I said why not get you one?
Bodega sushi? Are you insane?
I No That's not me, that's Samson.
- That's
- TOM: No, not Samson, Greg!
- Not Samson, not!
- (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I want you Gregging for me.
You're busted back down to Greg tonight.
- No!
- Yeah! Tonight, my digestive system
is basically, part of
the constitution, okay?
Microwaved milk and ginger shots.
American bottled water.
Spaghetti and olive oil, okay?
- Okay?
- GREG: Okay.
- Okay.
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Hey, Con!
CONNOR ROY: Tom!
Yeah, I got this crew here.
- TOM: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- And they're filming the stuff,
but none of it is making
it on the show, dude.
Is there any film in these cameras?
Yeah, I think we are We
are planning to feature, Con.
Well, no, because I'm watching.
Now, I expected to be frozen out
by all those other mooks,
but you guys? Come on.
Gimme some sugar, man!
I mean, maybe everyone voted for me,
- we don't know.
- WILLA FERREYRA: Schrödinger's cat.
Schrödinger's cat, Tom.
Until we open the boxes,
I'm just as much President
as the other two.
- Yeah? So, come on. If I do it
- TOM: Let's go. Let's go.
CONNOR: that's the
story of all time.
Okay, well, I'll think
I've I've gotta go.
But I'll see what I can
do, but I've gotta go
- 'cause the polls are closing.
- Yep.
TOM: Okay.
Okay, if it's gonna happen anywhere,
it's gonna happen in Kentucky.
- (MUSIC FADES) ♪
- Anything can happen.
- Anything.
- Anything can happen.
- Anything can happen.
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
So glad I didn't drop out.
It just makes an election
so much more interesting,
- when you're in it.
- Mm-hmm.
You gotta be in it to win it.
And it is seven o'clock
on the East Coast,
which means polls have just closed
in half a dozen states.
The most closely watched
states at this hour, Georgia,
with its 16 electoral votes,
and Virginia, with its 13,
both key battleground states.
As of this moment, it is too early
to project a winner in either.
- WILLA: Okay.
- PETER SAMPINO: But our decision desk
can announce, at this hour,
that Representative Jeryd Mencken
will defeat Governor Daniel Jimenez
- in the Commonwealth of Kentucky
- Ooh!
- SAMPINO: as well as in the state of Indiana
- Okay.
SAMPINO: where Mencken has
enjoyed a lead over Jimenez
- Okay.
- SAMPINO: in the pre-election polling.
TRACY LEVINGS: Governor
Jimenez will win
in the state of Vermont,
no big surprises there,
in the early part of the evening.
- (SIGHS)
- LEVINGS: We will need to look at more data
before we can make a projection
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Hey, fuck Kentucky, Con.
- No.
- Yes, fuck 'em.
No. I
I shan't become that, no.
- Alas, Kentucky, Willa.
- Mmm.
Alas, vanity.
ATN ANCHOR: Voters have
made their voices heard.
This could be the most
important election
in our lifetime.
- So with polls about to close
- GREG: Nope.
I told you, you can give
it to me, Billy. Thank you.
- (ATN ANCHOR SPEAKING ON TV)
- (MUSIC FADES) ♪
PAM: As we heat up, Tom,
uh, how much do you want to give to
(SIGHS) Fair bit of intimidation.
His folks and ours.
So, like, fire in Wisconsin,
in Milwaukee, could be nasty.
Could be electrical failure.
Might be Menckenists.
"Camera smashed, crew
harassed in Portland."
- That's them.
- Uh, I trust you.
ATN ANCHOR: all of
these counties here.
Uh, again, a little,
- uh, board malfunction here.
- What's he doing?
- ATN ANCHOR: But we'll be
- What's this?
right back on it in a second
- Hey, Pam? What's going on?
- Hold hold on.
- The the touchscreen.
- Hold on, we're checking it out.
What's happening with the touchscreen?
- Tell him to stop touching the touchscreen!
- We have a replacement
- TOM: The touchscreen is malfunctioning!
- It's fine, it's fine.
It's not fine! You can
see that it's not fine!
- We have a replacement on the way.
- It's malfunctioning! Fuck!
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Touchscreen's malfunctioning!
- Touchscreen's malfunctioning!
- ATN ANCHOR: And we're gonna zoom in.
Right where we can
see, right here, having a
The board seems to be acting up.
What's going on with the touchscreen?
The touchscreen is malfunctioning!
What's going on? What
the fuck is going on?
Right, we're on it. Uh,
graphics generator just
- It it shat the bed.
- TOM: What?
DAVE: Where is my touchscreen?
- Don't You're losing it, Dave.
- DAVE: Find me a desk.
Don't lose it, Dave. Don't
lose it tonight, Dave!
SAMPINO: It is now 9:00
p.m. on the East Coast.
- Okay, can we get an ETA
- Hello?
KENDALL: What the fuck's going
on with the touchscreen, Tom?
I'm on it, I'm all over it.
You're not on it. Fucking get on it.
Figure it out, yeah?
- Figure it out. Now!
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Hey, it's happening.
Ken, it's happening.
KENDALL: We're about to
get a new batch, Greg,
and if we drop numbers now,
I'm gonna come down there
and put your fucking head
through that touchscreen.
- GREG: It's all in motion.
- Fix it, fix it, fix it.
- No need to catastrophize.
- Where's the touchscreen, Pam?
- Is it loading up?
- It's loaded up.
Well, get it on air!
Get the new one on air.
We're gonna be hemorrhaging.
We're gonna be a laughingstock.
We're on it, Tom. No
one will notice, okay?
We've done this before.
we have three, and they're all lined up.
No one will notice? I noticed.
Am I no one? Do I look like no one? Huh?
Do I?
KENDALL: How the fuck are we
behind social media on this?
All right, we need to be leading this.
- SHIV: Hey, Tom?
- TOM: Hello?
You got this fire in Wisconsin.
You you you got this?
Uh, yes, I think we Yes,
I think we have that, yeah.
- Electrical.
- Why aren't we covering, Tom?
Um, well, because we always
have to choose what to focus on.
And just because something is
on fire doesn't make it news.
- Uh, electrical failure?
- NATE: Not what we hear.
No. It's it's it's
not what Nate hears, Tom.
Well, bully for Nate.
- NATE: Hey, Tom.
- TOM: Hey, Nate.
We need to be all over this, Tom.
Uh, yeah. I Okay, I just
think it's important to, um,
to keep our unique perspective
because we are getting
conflicting reporting.
Oh, what about the actual photos
I can see of it happening
on my fucking phone?
Look, there are there are
many, many things happening
in this nation right now.
Uh, there are a million data points,
and we we have to select
the ones that are consequential.
If these nutjobs are going paramilitary,
- we can say that.
- Yeah.
TOM: Uh-huh. Yes, we just need
to respect our viewership.
By not telling them anything
they don't want to hear?
You guys get this about
the Antifa firebombing
in Milwaukee?
NATE: No. Uh, we we hear
it's his people, Mencken's.
- (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
- Okay, when it becomes a story,
- then we'll run the story.
- Well, this is happening in, what,
- a vote counting center? So
- Yeah. It's a story, Tom.
- It's a story.
- I'm on it.
- Do not micromanage me, please.
- Tom!
- Yes? Yes?
- Tom! They're evacuating.
We've got a local chopper
up and a reporter on the way.
Okay. Uh, guys, I've got to manage this.
I'm gonna I'm I'll
keep you looped, yeah?
- Talk to Greg, yeah?
- Oh.
Yeah, hey, hey.
Uh, happy to keep you
- fully abreast here.
- We're not talking to Greg.
- GREG: I can be your link-up guy.
- No. What the fuck?
KENDALL: Amateur hour down there.
Uh, okay. So, if it
happened in Milwaukee,
and if it's deliberate,
then it's Menckenists?
Mmm. False flag. Could be.
You can't just say
"false flag" every time
- you don't fucking agree with something.
- ROMAN: False flag. False flag.
- (GROANS)
- KENDALL: Okay, guys.
SAMPINO: We want to report
about a fire in Milwaukee,
initially thought to have been
caused by an electrical failure.
But now there are claims
and some counterclaims
being made by groups who were protesting
- alleged voting irregularities.
- SHIV: Hey.
Okay, well, do you know
if any of the ballots
- are intact?
- NATE: It doesn't look likely.
- Where are you at?
- Depends how many votes have gone.
- But ballots have been lost?
- Oh, yeah.
We're chartering flights to Milwaukee.
A ton of number-crunching
by our analytics team.
We're trying to check the
Milwaukee County voter rolls
to see who's voted so far, but, uh
Listen, can you help with the narrative?
- (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- ROMAN: Oh, yeah.
Uh, okay, well, have you got
all the bodies that you need?
Yeah. Yeah, we have bodies.
We have a SWAT team on it,
they're interfacing
with the Wisconsin team.
- (ROMAN GROANS)
- GREG: Apparently, he's just touching
too hard for it.
- He's touching with
- What?
What? No. Rome?
Roman, no brass on
the battlefield, okay?
That's one of Logan's
Geneva conventions.
- Please, please.
- Just a pop-in. What's going on?
They evacuated the count center?
No, I don't know, I just
lost another touchscreen.
I'm down to my last
fucking touchscreen, okay?
- SHIV: What's going on?
- ROMAN: Oh, nothing.
Tom just thinks that
China's hacking his tech.
I do not, but I do think you would
be more comfortable upstairs.
- What?
- Greg? Will you please, uh
- GREG: Oh, yes. Yeah, guys
- Will you please help them upstairs?
- do you mind if I wrangle
- I think you would be more comfortable upstairs.
Hello? Tom?
- Hello, Siobhan.
- GREG: Can I just wrangle
- Wrangle? Stop saying wrangle.
- SHIV: Yeah. Are the ballots still in there?
- Okay, where where are we?
- SHIV: What's going on?
- Tom, can you catch us up?
- Greg, will you please, uh, take the VIPs
- to a, uh, upstairs setting?
- GREG: Yes. I I
- PAM: Tom!
- Can I grab the three of you and just
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- Tom!
- TOM: Yes?
- Reporter on the way.
- Uh, three, four out.
- Okay. All right, all right.
- SHIV: Uh, Tom?
- Yes?
- (ROMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- Can I can I have a word?
GREG: (SIGHS) I This is
- I really I really can't.
- This won't take long, Tom. Just
I know, but just let
me Okay, I just
Can you please? I just
wanted to apologize
for some of the things that
I said last night, okay?
- Okay. Okay.
- SHIV: And to
you know, give you an opportunity to
- TOM: Uh-huh?
- re Okay.
Well, I can't do it to that. So
- (SIGHS)
- How should I frame my face?
Huh? You scared that I'm gonna blab
about you and Matsson?
SHIV: Jesus fucking Christ,
- Tom.
- What?
My father just died, yeah?
- My Like
- TOM: Yeah.
My father just died.
So maybe, you know, I could get a little
consideration on that and for,
you know, a number of reasons
I've been feeling
off-kilter, so I'm sorry,
- but can I get a modicum of
- Sure, sure.
- What does that mean?
- TOM: Sure.
- "Sure."
- It means you hated him, Siobhan.
I didn't hate him. I loved him.
Well, it was complicated,
but sometimes you certainly hated him,
and and you also sort of killed him.
Uh Wow!
- What the
- Sort of.
- Sort of.
- SHIV: Oh, yeah. "Sort of."
That's the part that I'm
gonna remember, thanks.
No, thank you. Okay, you know what?
Actually, also, I'm
pregnant. Yeah? By you.
And there's there's
never a good time to say it,
but you need to know. So, okay.
- Now you know.
- TOM: Right. Right.
- (SHIV EXHALES SHAKILY)
- Is
that even true?
What?
Like, is that even true, or
is that like a new position
or a tactic? Or what?
What? (BREATHES DEEPLY)
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Um, okay.
(TOM SIGHS)
So, we have an area. I
guess, we Is it upstairs?
- Yeah, it's just
- You okay?
Yeah. Uh-huh, yep.
I'm, uh Look, I
think things are tough.
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
With with my situation and Tom,
- uh, but
- You want us to have him killed?
- Uh
- We could do that.
Yeah, maybe. (CHUCKLES)
- I mean, I think
- Okay.
You know, he's just
He's just a piece of
filth, and there's stuff
I would like to tell you, but, uh
Hey, I've been trying
to get them to move.
Not in an aggressive way, but
- If
- Yeah, I mean, you just can't trust him.
Yeah, we got you.
ATN REPORTER: In terms of the fire,
- it is still burning.
- Thanks.
ATN REPORTER: And crews
are struggling to contain,
let alone extinguish.
Now, are there any
reports so far of injuries?
None for now, fortunately.
The building was evacuated immediately
and all workers have been accounted for.
Well, I'm gonna sneak
now that we're all in here.
There's a lot of confusion
here right now. It looks like
- KENDALL: Who's responsible?
- all ballots have been - received here.
That's the story, right?
Who burnt this place down?
Uh, to me, it always comes down
to a couple of old favorites,
the Blacks or the Jews.
- I'm kidding. It's a fucking joke.
- Would you, please? Please?
- Got it.
- All right. Here.
- Shiv. Just follow me.
- Hey, Connor.
- Follow me.
- Rome.
Um, Jeryd isn't picking up.
ROMAN: Uh-huh. Yeah.
I I wonder if it's
a busy night for him?
Um, because I wondered
if what we talked about
might still be on offer?
Ambassadorship-wise?
Uh, yeah. Well, that was kind
of a yesterday offer, Connor.
You know if he doesn't make this,
you're gonna be partially
fucking responsible,
- I hope you're cool with that.
- CONNOR: Rome.
I spent like a hundred mil here.
- (SCOFFS)
- Couldn't I get a sniff
of even a little guy?
Organize a little
coup, down in old Peru?
Put me in a van to Tajikistan?
Couldn't I just be
our fun guy in Uruguay?
ROMAN: Your rhymes are compelling.
But what's in it for him, Con?
Oh, maybe just one of the
finest political operators
of his generation sorting shit out?
ROMAN: Okay, yeah, I'll,
uh I'll get back to you.
Just this one.
HAMILTON: Every four years, in fact.
It's probably going to come down
to a handful of states,
like Wisconsin, Ohio,
Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Arizona.
Ignore the narratives early on,
and just realize
that we're going to
be in for a dog fight,
for a late night in those
last couple of states.
It is 11:00 p.m. on the East Coast.
- SHIV: Uh-huh.
- Polls have just closed
in four more key states.
- Okay, thanks.
- LEVINGS: The ATN decision desk can now project
Uh So, under state law,
the vote can't be certified
until the absentee ballots are counted.
So, no Wisconsin result is valid
- until the absentee ballots are counted.
- Okay. And how does Daniel feel?
Confident, but terrified. (CHUCKLES)
I don't know, is
there is there a name
for that feeling? Cuspy?
- Hey. Yeah.
- SHIV: Rome. So, under Wisconsin law,
- the vote can't be certified
- Mencken says we're done. Wisconsin's done.
- That's their position.
- But (SCOFFS) Well, no.
There's like 100,000 absentee
Milwaukee ballots missing.
So we have to figure
out a way to go forward
- knowing that information
- Go forward to undermine Mencken's lead?
Does he have a lead?
- I mean, is is that right?
- Yep, yes.
- SHIV: Uh, an artificial lead.
- Mmm.
With 100,000 Milwaukee
absentee ballots missing.
Every vote must be counted.
- Eh.
- KENDALL: I think she's right.
- What?
- ROMAN: Hmm, well
- I think she's right, Rome.
- ROMAN: Well, yeah, okay.
But we we we can
count the votes that we have.
However, unfortunately,
some are lost. So
SHIV: "Unfortunately, some are lost?"
- Yep.
- Meaning, what? Fascist fuckheads burnt them.
ROMAN: We literally do not know that.
It could very easily be
your fucks, they love fires.
You're making hay for
political violence.
ROMAN: Or your guys knew
they were going to lose,
so they did something crazy
to throw it into question
- and get a revote.
- You don't believe that.
Yeah, maybe I do. I don't know.
Okay. Well, Jimenez
is gonna take Pennsylvania,
Michigan, and Arizona.
So I don't know why you're
getting so fucking uppity
- about this shit.
- Why are you getting so uppity
about this shit if you're so confident?
Because if Mencken wins, it's
the end of the world, okay?
- So I'd like a little fucking cushion.
- Can we get fucking real?
Jimenez won't block the GoJo deal.
So fuck the guy, right?
Well, who knows? Maybe he
would. And that's not
(LAUGHING) We cannot let
that be the thing that's
That's not the thing, right? Ken?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
- SHIV: Uh
- I don't know.
- Ken.
- KENDALL: I don't know.
No, don't don't get cynical.
It's it's not not
cynical. No. It's just
what's happening is
happening. Uh, I'm a realist.
Oh, yeah. Says the man
who'd cut his son's throat
and then eat him on the high pass.
- Jesus fucking Christ.
- We can all say nasty shit, Shiv.
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Hey, so, uh, FVA is saying
they have enough vote
reported to call Wisconsin.
So, Freedom Voice America
and VeraNews are calling it.
- Great, the maniacs.
- ROMAN: Okay. Wow.
Well, can't get out-flanked
and we need to be fast.
- So I think we should call it, right?
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- Hold on, hold on!
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
Tom, what what is
like an independent
Can can you get us.
- Decision Desk Darwin?
- Yes. Yep.
I want to say a few words about
the emerging situation in Milwaukee.
- A situation the American
- (HUGO BAKER SIGHS)
people are watching
with increasing concern.
We have a process.
- And it is sacrosanct
- "Respect the process.
Count every vote."
I mean, he's so fucking dull.
Flop your dick out,
pop a nut. Do something!
that decision will
have no legitimacy
if it does not account
for all the ballots cast.
Okay, Dar. Thank you.
And we have some thoughts
- and some questions. And
- Thank you, Darwin. Do you have a result
- as it stands in Wisconsin?
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Uh, we've tallied the vote total so far.
- KENDALL: Okay.
- ROMAN: Yeah. Uh-huh. And?
- Margin for Mencken
is significant.
It couldn't be made up
by outstanding existing
uncounted votes, only
the ones destroyed.
Okay, and we're not waiting
for burned votes, so we call it.
- No, I I think
- ROMAN: Right?
I think they have to hold it again. No?
Like, a a revote?
DARWIN: Uh, I would say a revote
is incredibly rare and complex
because, while we
theoretically know everyone
who requested an absentee ballot,
we don't entirely know
how many turned them in,
and there's nothing in Wisconsin law
that really covers what to do.
Exactly. You can't do it. Boom!
- Mencken. Thank you.
- DARWIN: But, of course,
we think, um, we The team knows
We know how the missing votes
- would have broken down.
- ROMAN: What? They're gone.
There's no way to know
what was on those ballots.
Well, we we do know.
- Because in past elections
- ROMAN: Mm, no.
- Milwaukee overwhelmingly votes Democrat.
- You know what might be on them,
but you don't actually know.
Sure. I just, basically, do know.
- We do know.
- ROMAN: Because you're so plugged in,
you know how all the
little peasants vote,
what's in their hearts?
'Cause you don't know.
Rome, come on. This is the
grown-ups table, be serious.
This is serious. Ballots
get lost every election.
You can't get burnt ballots back.
Bullshit. Just bullshit.
- Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
- ROMAN: You're bullshit. It's not bullshit.
- Full of fucking bullshit.
- TOM: Shiv? Shiv?
- What?
- You sound a little unhinged.
You fucking watch it, Tom.
- DARWIN: We do know.
- ROMAN: Okay, okay.
There's no way to say in here
how people would have voted.
I mean, you wanna just run your model
and not bother with all the people?
We're saying, historically,
people overwhelmingly
ROMAN: Historically,
people used to burn witches.
- Are you saying we should do that?
- What the fuck?
"Burn witches"? Rome! Look, we just know
that the fire would have destroyed
a lot of Jimenez ballots.
Oh, so, "Fire favors
GOP," claims mad witch?
- We just know.
- ROMAN: Okay. Well, we're not gonna rerun
the election, and if the Right
gets wrongly blamed for this,
what would that do? If the Left does?
- Could get nasty.
- SHIV: Where are you going?
I am going to the bathroom to shit.
Would you like me to livestream it?
HAMILTON: (ON TV) We're
going to be in for a dog fight,
- for a late night
- Ken, you wanna weigh in?
SAMPINO: And Mark
Ravenhead has some thoughts
about what we've been
seeing so far tonight
- I just think it's hard.
- But we know. We just do.
That if the lost votes were counted,
Jimenez would take the state.
Mark is commenting directly, ATN voice.
professional politicos
who, time after time,
come up with, isn't this funny,
with polls which undercount
support for traditional values.
So, yeah, maybe some of the crazies
heard they were underperforming
and decided to stop the counting
and destroy the evidence.
And so, yeah, "You just stay quiet."
- Roman sent talking points.
- Oh.
MARK RAVENHEAD: "We'll guess what
we think was on those ballots.
- We'll decide," yeah?
- KENDALL: Is he down there?
- RAVENHEAD: They know best, right?
- SHIV: Fuck's sake, Rome.
And you'll eat what's for dinner
because they don't really
care for folks who answer back
- or ask too many questions.
- GREG: Should I
Shut up!
Innumerate residuum!
We'll figure it out,
and issue you with your new government
to march into your homes
and take whatever we want
in the way of your
mechanisms of self-defense,
and tell your son she's
actually your daughter,
or the other way around, and then
GREG: Hey, Shiv, do you mind
actually not going on the floor?
RAVENHEAD: "It's all just peachy."
- Even though it doesn't feel so peachy
- GREG: Shiv?
RAVENHEAD: that
you can't go out at night,
and the new president
is opening up his borders
- to his friends, yeah
- Bullshit.
Bullshit, Roman, fuck you.
It's obvious that we need to be
smarter than this, better than this.
We need a fucking opposing viewpoint.
- (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (ATN ANCHOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
GREG: Could you call security for me?
Sorry, you can't come down here.
It's it's not me, it's just
Hey, Lukas.
What the fuck is going on?
Uh, yeah, great fucking question.
ROMAN: Powerful commentary, huh?
I don't feel good,
necessarily, about this, Rome.
- Shucks!
- (ATN ANCHOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
LUKAS: Is it okay? Do I need to hustle?
Do I need to get ready to be cozy
with this fucking Mr. Scary?
No. No, I can handle. I can handle it.
Yeah, 'cause Greg tells me it's
getting kinda hairy in there.
- SHIV: Mm-hmm.
- Don't let them break my toy, Shiv, okay?
No. All good. I'll be in touch.
Sorry, we just need you off
the floor, if that's okay.
- Yeah, got a minute?
- RAVENHEAD: (LAUGHING) And now,
apparently, the Democrats are
accusing this fire of being biased.
That's right. Yeah, that sounds
pretty much something out of their camp.
"It only burnt Democratic votes."
Yeah? You know, it's one of those
it's one of those picky fires. (LAUGHS)
(MUSIC FADES) ♪
- Come on in.
- Yeah.
- So
- Yeah, just wanted to check in.
- You know? It's been busy. So
- Right. Yeah, on election day.
SHIV: Yeah.
Yeah. So, how was your
night, last night, with Lukas?
Shiv, I I went for a drink with him.
- That that's not my fault.
- SHIV: Uh-huh.
Do you find me attractive, Gregory?
I don't think of things such as that.
Oh. Oh, I thought you were
a "disgusting brother."
Is that Was that
too disgusting for you?
This is not appropriate. (CHUCKLES)
- It's
- SHIV: Uh-huh.
Yeah, I, uh I'm Sorry, I don't
'Cause I'm just letting you know
that if you try to fuck me
I'll kill you.
- Mm-hmm?
- Mm-hmm, got it.
Got it. Sorry, yeah.
I guess my my only question
would be, if if
anything did come to pass,
in terms of you and he
- you know, silence is golden.
- SHIV: Hmm.
Like how golden?
- SHIV: Uh-huh.
- GREG: Is there an offer?
Yeah. Uh, yeah.
How about I offer for you to
keep all your internal organs
on your insides, rather than
I pull them out your asshole?
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (DOOR OPENS)
- SHIV: Go on. You're lumber.
Keep your snout out.
Simultaneously destroying
diversity of opinion
- wherever possible
- (DOOR OPENING)
Hey, guess what?
Mencken will block the deal. (CHUCKLES)
Straight up. He'll kill it.
If he wins, he'll refer it to FTC.
Whatever, new law, foreign
ownership tightening.
Whatever, he'll screw
it up. In exchange
for our support tonight.
- In, like in so many words?
- In those words.
Shall I get Tom? Shall
I get the human abacus?
Shall I? Let's do it.
This is good news.
(NEWS THEME PLAYING ON TV) ♪
ROMAN: Hey, hey.
- TOM: Hey.
- So, uh, thanks for, uh
Whatever. Uh, we have the votes. So
Can't rerun fairly
and can't let lefty terrorism
affect us, so let's call it.
On what precedent?
By by what authority?
Uh, by the power of
me, the CEO of Waystar,
telling you what to put on
the telly-box mouth-people.
DARWIN: Uh (CHUCKLES)
I don't think we can do that, guys.
I think we can do it, Dar.
If we call it, and
the the the others
- went his way
- ROMAN: Right, well, look.
There are still outstanding states.
There's Michigan,
Ohio, Georgia, Arizona.
It's really not that big
a deal. It's one state.
I'm worried it's not a decision
- that I could necessarily
- ROMAN: Uh-huh. Yeah, thank you.
And everyone respects you, Darwin,
but this isn't actually a numbers thing.
I mean, the Wisconsin
Elections Commission,
the Milwaukee Election Commission
will go to court and the
camps will litigate it.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- And it'll be a jurisdiction fight
that I think Mencken might shade,
- but, you know, we can't
- Yeah, that's that's great.
Uh, but I'm just gonna say
we're good and that's on me.
The votes that exist have been tallied,
and that gives Mencken the state.
But you don't you don't
make the call. I make the call.
We're gonna make the
call together, Tom
You can't make the call
until I make the call.
ROMAN: Okay. So and I'm
not gonna make you do anything.
This is the situation in Wisconsin.
How would you feel if we
were to not "call it" call it,
but, um
TOM: Like, pending. We
could call it pending.
ROMAN: You could even explain it.
We can get a camera on you
to explain it to people.
PGN ANCHOR: We had a number of Jimenez
campaign surrogates over the last week,
sounding the alarm
about the lack of turnout
- of Black and Latino voters
- I could explain.
And could there be a
graphic that makes it clear
the call isn't a
"call" call?
"Pending call."
DARWIN: Okay, okay.
- Uh
- Mm! Sorry.
DARWIN: (SOFTLY) Okay.
- All right, so
- ROMAN: Yeah?
- DARWIN: Okay.
- ROMAN: Satisfied, fucky fucks?
- Okay.
- Soon as we can.
- ROMAN: Great.
- Uh (EXHALES HEAVILY)
- What's up?
- (GROANS)
- ROMAN: You okay? What?
- (DARWIN GROANS)
There's something in my eyes. Um
- (INHALES SHARPLY, GROANS)
- TOM: Greg? Wasabi.
Is it wasabi? There's wasabi in my eyes?
- I've got wasabi in my eyes?
- ROMAN: Oh, Jesus.
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
(DARWIN MOANS IN PAIN)
No, it's gone more
in. It's gone more in.
- What's going on?
- It's on my fingers.
- SHIV: What's going on?
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
- What did you do to him?
- (GROANS) It stings!
- GREG: What?
- TOM: Get some water or something, Greg!
(GROANS) Holy mother! Mother of God.
- Fuck me slowly, this smarts.
- GREG: Okay.
Quick Greg, put water
in it. Put water in
(GROANS)
- It's washing it in!
- TOM: That's lemon!
It's lemon, Greg!
- That's clear. It's La Croix!
- Jesus! Fuck, Greg.
- What are you doing?
- ROMAN: Oh, come on.
- It's lemony, Greg. It's lemony!
- GREG: It's La Croix!
Jesus H. Christ!
- GREG: No, it's natural! Like, medical!
- TOM: Get some tissues, man.
DARWIN: (GROANS) Give
it to me. Oh, my God.
It's not that lemony!
It's just a hint of lemon.
- Darwin? You good to call it?
- (PANTING)
He can't fucking call it, Rome.
We're calling it, Shiv.
- He just called it, okay?
- ROMAN: Great. Thanks.
Greg, do not put any more lemon water,
or wasabi, in his eyes, okay?
(WILLA AND CONNOR TALKING QUIETLY)
Hey, Con, you shouldn't
really be in here.
And a very good evening to you, too.
- Hey! Presidente. Sike!
- CONNOR: Rome. Sweetheart. One sec.
- Would you wait over here for me a second, baby?
- Uh, sure.
Fellas, would you wait
over here for me a second?
- Yeah. Yep? Mm-hmm?
- Rome. One thought.
How about I concede
in his direction?
I scratch his balls, he scratches mine?
That's interesting. Uh, perhaps-ish.
- Let me check on that, yeah.
- CONNOR: "Perhaps-ish"?
- Perhaps-ish, yeah. Come on.
- I'm coming.
- ANCHOR: (ON TV) Seventeen electoral votes
- TOM: Pam?
We're calling, uh,
Wisconsin for Mencken.
Get the graphics up.
Dave, let them know we're five out
- from calling Wisconsin.
- All right.
We are calling Wisconsin for Mencken.
Five minutes. Is that graphic ready?
There is a big ol'
call to make right now,
and that is ATN is
projecting that Jeryd Mencken
- has won the state of Wisconsin.
- (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
SAMPINO: You know, we've
been reporting on that fire
in the Milwaukee vote count center.
Nonetheless, our decision desk
is confident in making this call.
Jeryd Mencken has won
the state of Wisconsin,
and there goes the blue wall.
That's ten electoral votes,
- that brings Mencken up to 246
- (CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Okay, man. Okay.
There's something there.
Sordid backseat fuck job.
CONNOR: Oh, tell me more.
- ROMAN: He wants to keep up the momentum.
- ATN ANCHOR: Jeryd Mencken
is now 24 electoral votes away
from winning the presidency.
Do you really wanna?
Slovenia, Willa.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, I am torn, and
he's very, uh, right-wing.
But Vienna for lunch, Venice for dinner.
And Dubrovnik for breakfast.
CONNOR: (ON TV) My fellow Americans,
it's becoming clear tonight,
that as far as we can tell,
Mr. Jeryd Mencken will likely be
- the next president of the United States.
- KARL MULLER: Yes.
- And I, for one, wish him well.
- HUGO BAKER: Mm-hmm.
Connor was running for president?
- (LAUGHTER)
- CONNOR: For although I set out a
clear and compelling path
- KARL: Okay, all right.
- CONNOR: America, in her divine wisdom,
has chosen to take another.
Well, good luck. And
I'd like to say to my
first running mate,
who I will not dignify
with a name-check,
but had that woman not dropped out,
and then had I not had to
replace her with another figure,
who turned out not to be
able to bear the weight
of public scrutiny,
had I not been betrayed
by those two jackrabbits,
who knows?
Politics of envy. Ugly game.
I happen to be a billionaire.
Sorry.
But honestly, America, you flunked it.
I guess you're gonna have to find
some other poor mook's
paps to suckle on.
- Okay.
- The corrupt bipartisan
- system zombie marches on.
- All right.
And so I call out to my
friends tonight, to my people.
I say, Conheads, I salute
you. And, America, be afraid.
Be warned
for the Conheads are coming.
Thank you. God bless America.
ATN decision desk is now projecting.
Daniel Jimenez has won
the state of Michigan
- over Jeryd Mencken.
- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
That's 15 electoral votes.
Our tally now goes
- Are you ready for this?
- All right, all right.
Two-hundred-and-sixty-two for Mencken,
- and 262 for Daniel Jimenez.
- HAMILTON: A dead heat.
SAMPINO: Polls will be
closing soon in Alaska,
the only state yet to be
called other than Arizona
and its 11 electoral votes.
LEVINGS: Let's maybe go harass
the decision desk about what's
- taking so long for Arizona.
- Guys. Uh, just a heads-up.
We hear We are getting
it from the campaigns
that the data nerds
are hearing that Well, Dar, you say.
So, uh, Arizona is gonna go red.
ROMAN: All right,
well then that's, uh
- That would be it, right?
- I mean, we're
we're kind of boxed in,
uh, because of Wisconsin.
Uh, I mean, I I don't
feel comfortable calling it.
I mean, PGN is gonna be
calling it. Right, Tom?
- TOM: Yeah
- ROMAN: I mean, they're going to call Arizona.
Because if we call it,
because of Wisconsin, we
we called Wisconsin "pending," so
Yeah, we already called Wisconsin, okay?
We can't un-call Wisconsin, can we?
That would make us all
look pretty unprofessional.
So, Arizona?
- We're calling the election?
- Yeah.
- KENDALL: No, no.
- No?
- No.
- ROMAN: It's math, dude.
Tom, will you guys give
us a minute, please?
- Fuck. (CHUCKLES)
- TOM: Sure, okay.
ROMAN: One minute. Be
back in one minute, please.
- What?
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- That's it. That's it.
- KENDALL: I don't know, Rome.
Like, maybe maybe we
revisit Wisconsin.
- Okay. (CHUCKLES)
- KENDALL: Because, yeah, we I mean, we
- That was kind of
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Right?
- Okay, I get it. No, you're gonna,
like, big brother it right now.
- That's what you're gonna do?
- No.
- Like what?
- Oh, like when, you know,
if you want roast chicken
and I wanted steak,
we always had chicken.
Because you'd you'd
freak out. You'd tantrum.
- So they thought
- I would fucking tantrum
because I never had fucking steak.
Well, I think they got scared if
you know, if you tantrumed,
then you'd think you'd won,
- so they couldn't let you
- I never won.
- It was always fucking chicken.
- So, because we had so much
chicken when we were kids,
- I have to like the fascist?
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
If we don't call it early
and he wins anyway,
which is perfectly possible,
but without us tonight?
Think about that.
With FVA and VeraNews backing him,
we're left the most dickless
eunuchs in cuck town.
- We call it? We call this?
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- KENDALL: If we push it
- Yeah?
maybe it happens.
Yeah. We give it to Mencken,
Mencken blocks the deal.
He's not fucking
wishy-washy. He's a guy.
(SIGHS) I don't know, dude. I mean
ANCHOR (ON TV): Exactly.
All of the mainstream media.
All of the Democrats
My kids. The whole thing.
"Oh, America! Oh."
Well, I mean, it is kind
of a nice idea, you know?
All the different people together.
(CHUCKLES) What? All right.
What what would Dad do?
- Oh, come on.
- I don't know. I don't actually know.
Yes, you fucking do, man!
The guy in the pocket.
The guy that's gonna answer our calls.
The fucking guy printing US dollars.
This is all upside.
Apart from the matter of him
smashing the country to pieces.
Oh, God! Don't be such
a fucking prissy
Okay, maybe we could deal
with a dose of that, right?
Like a nice little
dose of the frighteners?
- Wind shit back 20?
- You know one of those fucking guys
pushed my daughter.
- Uh, she's okay?
- If we do this
people people are gonna say shit.
Yeah. We'll be in the West
Wing. Nothing matters, Ken.
Nothing fucking matters. Dad's dead,
and the country's just a big
pussy waiting to get fucked.
(LAUGHS) Fucking
(CLAPS HANDS) action, okay?
We can pay for any damages.
Let's just jam our fuckin'
heads in the bosom of history
and just (GOBBLES)
Right? I mean Or, we sit on our hands
like a couple of damsels in distress,
and, you know, watch
our chance slip away.
PGN ANCHOR: PGN has a major
projection to announce,
and that is that Jeryd
Mencken will win Arizona.
So, he is the winner
of 11 electoral votes
- in Arizona
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- SHIV: Hey.
- KENDALL: Hey.
- Can we talk for a minute?
- (TV AUDIO MUTES)
Yeah. We're fucked, Ken. We're fucked.
Because we called, it's fucked.
I don't know what we should do.
I feel like my head is just
I I can't I can't, uh
get the scale of it, what this is.
I mean, we can recant, yeah?
His team is being very direct.
They will block Matsson's deal.
Uh, well, he says he will.
We call it for him,
that gives him legitimacy to declare.
I mean, we're in bed
with him, I think, yeah?
Yeah, I
I mean, it'll get ground out
in the courts, whatever we say.
Sure, right. But
Yeah, look, shall we be
- totally honest in here?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
KENDALL: (SIGHS) I have sometimes felt
like I could do it.
You know, like, I should do it. Me.
- Uh-huh.
- KENDALL: Just me.
But I don't want that to be an end
to the the family thing, right?
I would just I would
like to be able to talk
openly about that feeling, maybe.
Sure. Yeah, no, I
appreciate I appreciate that.
Mencken is kinda Roman's
guy, so that's complicated.
- Yeah, right.
- And, honestly, I feel
threatened, maybe, by
their relationship, and
So I want
A piece of me wants to not support that,
and that's maybe in there,
pulling away from Mencken.
Uh-huh.
- But also, you're a good guy.
- Well, I don't know.
- SHIV: Sure. You are.
- Thank you.
- I don't know.
- SHIV: No, essentially, you're
you're a good guy.
But we we all wanna
stop Matsson, right?
- That's the thing?
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Go go on.
Uh, well, I think whatever
Whatever advantage to us as
as as corporate players
in the short term
You know (SIGHS)
He's Mencken's the nightmare, yeah?
Plausible in a decadent era.
He says the bad shit,
he believes the bad shit.
We wouldn't actually
be making him president.
Oh, sure. We might not be able
to crown him, but we can
we can stop him.
He gets momentum tonight,
it makes it possible.
He needs our call.
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
I don't think I'm a very good father.
You are. You're No, you're okay.
You've tried. That's all we can do.
- Maybe the poison drips through.
- No. No. And you know what?
I don't think even Dad
would back him tonight.
- He basically picked him.
- Sure, but we throw the papers
and the whole thing in for him?
And then in a in a
month, a week from now,
the courts go the other way?
It's We're essentially
done as a news organization.
It's just hard to think
we'd give it all away to Matsson.
Could we try? Could you try once?
Direct to Nate, to get something
from them to block the deal?
Uh yeah.
- Yeah.
- SHIV: Sure.
- One of these?
- Yeah.
You're a good guy.
Okay, yeah.
(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUFFLED) Hey, Nate.
Yeah, just calling with
a quick, uh, check-in.
- Uh, yeah.
- AUTOMATED VOICE: We're sorry.
- The number you have reached
- SHIV: To be honest,
- just wondering if Jimenez
- is not in service.
- Please check the number or try
- SHIV: I don't know, could he
your call again.
(NEWS THEME PLAYING ON TV) ♪
- So, um
- PGN ANCHOR: Mencken now stands at 265
Yeah, Shiv's seeing what
we can get from the Dems.
Oh, get the fuck out of here.
- Why? We got it.
- I really need to know what we're doing, guys.
If we're gonna stick with Wisconsin
- Okay, one moment. One moment, Tom. One moment.
- ROMAN: We're gonna stick Ugh.
KENDALL: So? You talk to him?
Uh, yeah. I think there's, uh
there's there's something there.
- No, there's not.
- KENDALL: Like? Like?
Like, they might be they
are willing to think.
Oh! They might be, or maybe they are,
willing to think. Maybe.
- That sounds like horseshit.
- No. Rome.
They're just not so direct.
Yeah? I I I think we can
probably get 'em to stop it.
ROMAN: Oh, they "probably." Yeah, go.
Sorry, no. Uh, game over. Bullshit.
No. We have to call it.
- Mencken is rock-solid.
- SHIV: Roman, even Dad
Even even Dad, in this situation,
- would respect the process.
- ROMAN: No!
Dad did whatever the fuck he wanted.
He One fax, he took out a government.
He did the "Fuck Lyle!" Send.
And that was it. That's all it took.
Fucking Canada, here.
He didn't give a shit.
He liked stability, Rome. He pushed,
but he didn't want shit to unravel.
He he helped end
I mean, he ended wars.
He ended wars that he started.
He did whatever the fuck he wanted.
What did they say, Shiv?
Like, what did Nate actually say?
He said, uh, they would talk,
and that they could see the arguments,
and I I I think it's encouraging.
- ROMAN: You felt like it was encouraging? Wow!
- SHIV: It was. It was encouraging.
It was a feeling. I got something real.
- (SHIV SIGHS)
- This is fuckin' pointless.
- What a waste of time.
- What are you doing?
I'm gonna call. I
I I'm just gonna
I'm gonna be very direct. We just
we just need a little bit more,
- and, uh
- SHIV: Don't call him.
Why?
They're Uh, they're busy.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
ROMAN: Can't have uncertainty.
Can't. Fucking market.
The chaos of trying to
rerun an entire election
could just send the country
into meltdown, you know?
- SHIV: Okay. Bad faith argument.
- ROMAN: I'm telling you.
I'm just telling you. You
cannot have uncertainty.
- China is coming.
- "China is coming"?
- ROMAN: China's coming.
- China's already been. Next.
ROMAN: It's not like the
fucking "final" final anyway.
Okay? There's the court shit,
and it all kind of just
fuzzes along, you know?
It's just a waste of fucking time.
That we don't have, by the way.
KENDALL: Hey, Greg? Can
I ask you a question?
GREG: What's up?
Do you know if there's
something going on?
(ROMAN GROANS)
What else Nate and Gil and
fucking Jimenez offer you?
Unlimited social security
spending with this one weird trick?
ROMAN: How was that call?
What'd you get? Whole bunch of not much?
- KENDALL: Really?
- (MUSIC FADES) ♪
- SHIV: What?
- "I think you're a good guy"?
Uh, well (SCOFFS) I
found it hard to get Nate,
- so I summarized some impressions.
- Oh, right, right, right.
Smart. Really good, Shiv.
But you lied.
- Oh (MUMBLES)
- KENDALL: Right?
She didn't get anything from Nate.
- ROMAN: Really?
- She didn't speak to Nate.
- (CHUCKLES)
- KENDALL: And she's in with Matsson.
- SHIV: Mm
- Sorry, what?
No, I (SCOFFS) No.
No. I I I I did
what we all agreed to,
that I got close to him
so that I could help
- Shiv's fucking us. Right, Shivy?
- Wow.
No. No! No, no, no. I
I I I I I
- KENDALL: "I I I I I"
- was
I fucking some asked you
some real questions, Shiv.
I wondered why you looked like a goose
trying to shit a house
brick, you piece of dirt.
Okay, what? You got yourself a
little fucking side deal here?
No. No. I have some
options. I I was, uh
- I was going through with the plan.
- ROMAN: Uh-huh.
- SHIVE: And then you two
- Well, Mencken. Mencken, right?
- Mencken.
- SHIV: No! What?
ROMAN: Tom!
- No! You even wanted to push us out of
- KENDALL: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- the fucking nest. Please! Ken.
- Sure, sis. Sure, sure, sure.
Aside from all this, this
is not the right thing.
KENDALL: Aside from the
fact that you lied to us,
and that doing what you
want precisely plays into
- your own interests, yeah?
- Oh, and this doesn't? Yeah?
Ken, please, come on.
Come on! Who are we?
Oh, yeah. Will no one
think of the children?
You know what? No, I'm
not gonna let this happen.
There comes a time
- when you have to stand up for what you
- ROMAN: "There comes a time"
(BABBLES MOCKINGLY)
SHIV: Seriously. This is real.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- SHIV: Okay? I have a concern
for the state of the republic,
and and pluralism and
- and the future of this country.
- ROMAN: I'm snoring.
- You're so boring.
- And it It is real.
ROMAN: You're such a bore, Shiv. Jesus.
- Fuck you. Ken?
- He's right.
Yeah. You're boring. And you
don't have a pass for in here.
Okay, well, fine. You know what?
I'm Maybe I'll I'll go pu
I'll I'll I'll go public.
- ROMAN: Oh yeah?
- I'll go to the papers,
and people, and and tell 'em
what you're actually fucking doing.
ROMAN: Wow. Well, if you're
gonna just be hysterical,
we're gonna have to,
you know, ask you to leave.
- SHIV: Fuck you!
- People are trying to do some serious work in here.
Fuck you. This is about
the future of the country.
No, I think it's because you broke up
with your boyfriend.
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Jesus, you're a prick.
TOM: Hello.
- ROMAN: Hey, Tom.
- Hey.
- So, call it. You can call it.
- SHIV: No!
- We're calling it?
- ROMAN: Yeah. We called Wisconsin,
now we're gonna call Arizona,
so we call the election.
- We call the election?
- Call it.
- ROMAN: Call it.
- No. No, Tom. No.
You're making a terrible mistake.
- SHIV: Please don't.
- Hey, guys, it's not my call.
It's not my call.
- ROMAN: Okay? It's our call.
- It's your call. It's up to you.
- TOM: If you say so, I say so.
- ROMAN: Call it. I say so.
Fucking Pontius Pilate.
ROMAN: No one cares.
No one no one cares.
- GREG: Hey, yeah. Okay.
- Hey. Tell 'em I'm coming down.
Yes. We're gonna call it.
Yeah, we're calling for Mencken.
- ROMAN: All right.
- GREG: Oh.
Okay. Tell 'em I'm
coming. All right. Okay.
- ROMAN: Great work, Tom.
- TOM: Thank you.
ROMAN: Good stuff. Great night.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- (SIGHS) Fuck.
- You okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I,
uh I I (SIGHS)
I have to go, um
tell them, I think we're
calling it. For Mencken.
- Whoa.
- GREG: Yeah.
So (EXHALES)
- I should I should
- Right.
I should go. I'll get
in trouble if I don't go.
JESS JORDAN: Okay, dude.
I mean (CHUCKLES)
GREG: Yeah. I mean, it's
not really my choice,
- right? So
- Sure.
- I mean, right. Yeah.
- (BREATHES DEEPLY) Yeah.
I'm just I'm pressing the button.
Or I'm not even pressing
the button, I'm just
I'm asking them to prepare
to press the button.
JESS: Right, and all
that does is just, like,
launch a nuclear attack.
So
It's not gonna change
anything if I don't go. So
- Couple minutes. So, I mean
- Right, right.
- You
- But realistically
(DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS) ♪
(EXHALES) Wow.
- Crazy.
- Yeah.
Crazy.
Crazy one. (BREATHES DEEPLY)
- (ANCHORS TALKING ON TV)
- GREG: So, Tom just told me.
Everybody, calling it for Mencken.
He's calling it for Mencken.
- Everyone, yeah?
- TOM: So he said, yeah?
- GREG: I just said.
- I'm calling it for Mencken.
Okay?
- PAM: Okay.
- TOM: Okay, yeah.
Okay. Well, then, uh, Dave?
Okay. Uh, Lydia, get me "Mencken wins."
Get the ticker going
on, uh, ATN Citizens.
Let the people know, two
mins, and ATN is gonna call it.
SAMPINO: We are gonna
make this call now.
The ATN decision desk
has looked at the numbers
and is ready to declare
Arizona for Jeryd Mencken.
This means that Mencken
will be the next president
of the United States,
winning the most unreal,
surreal election we have
ever seen in this country.
His candidacy starting in
Virginia only six months ago
against a dozen other
Republican candidates
in the wake of the president
saying he wasn't going
to run for re-election.
What started off as an
unlikely impossibility,
now a reality, it is Mencken.
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- Uh, well
(CHUCKLES) It's now clear I have won
sufficient electoral
votes to be declared
the next president
of the United States.
(CROWD CHEERING)
MENCKEN: And I find the
responsibility awesome!
Now, I know there are some who feel
there is something left to contest.
But votes have been cast,
votes have been tallied.
On another day, in another
time, they might have fallen
in another fashion.
The election has been called for
me by an authority of known integrity.
TOM: Maybe we should get,
um, like, a history guy?
- (MENCKEN CONTINUES ON TV)
- TOM: You know, like a brain
like a real brainiac,
to say why this sort of thing
has happened in the past,
and that it'll all be fine?
To my critics, I am not a demagogue.
I am a defender of democracy.
But democracy, it has this
tendency that we have to beware
to become mere transaction.
I give you this. You give me that.
I come begging for your
vote. Welfare checkbook out.
Crowning the welfare kings and queens
till everyone has
become a little tyrant,
crowned by the state.
The model that I follow
isn't from the scorched marketplace,
where cunning men haggle
for the best price.
That's not me. The
democracy I believe in
is where a leader
emerged from the people,
willed almost into being,
brought forth by the great sweetness
of the virtue of the combined wisdom
of the good people of this republic.
Don't we long
sometimes for something clean
once in this polluted land?
That's what I hope to bring.
Not something grubby with compromise.
Something clean
and true, and refreshing.
He's a guy we can do business with.
- ROMAN: Yeah.
- MENCKEN: Something proud and pure
He'll play ball. You should
hear him talk semiconductors.
- MENCKEN: And God bless the United States of America.
- The market's holding the leash.
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- ROMAN: We just made a night of good TV.
That's what we've done. Nothing happens.
Things do happen, Rome.
(PHONE BUZZES)
President calling.
Yo, Hocus-POTUS.
Sitting in the POTUS
position. What's up?
MENCKEN: Hey, man. I Look, no time.
But just just thanks, yeah?
You and me, man. We'll go far.
ROMAN: Over the road and into the bar.
An election unlike
anything we've ever seen,
followed by a speech for the ages
The legal process is gonna be lengthy.
When do you think it'll all be over?
This this could be going
on for the next three months.
- GREG: Hey, Tom?
- Uh-huh.
Your phone. It's,
uh it's red-hot, Tom.
It, uh A lot of very
important people are
A lot of very important
people wanna scream at you.
PGN ANCHOR: But allegedly, allegedly
- This is a little pointed.
- The call was made personally by ATN boss
- Tom Wambsgans.
- Um
Darwin wants to know
when to do his caveats.
Is there time for him to do
- No.
- GREG: No.
PGN ANCHOR: he was
given by his decision desk.
So it's unclear whether
Wambsgans's alleged action
- was an error of judgment, or there was a personal
- GREG: Hello? No.
PGN ANCHOR: or political
dimension to the decision.
He is, of course, known to be
an associate of Jeryd Mencken.
Jesus fucking Christ. What's going on?
SHIV: Those funky numbers?
I'm sending you words, yeah?
Let's get 'em out in the next 24.
- Lot of fucking news.
- You guys are crazy.
Yeah, it's more than
just fucking crazy, Lukas.
No, but this is crazy.
Yeah, well, we're gonna
do a number on 'em.
We're gonna fuck them so hard.
We're gonna fix this, yeah?
Fuck.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
Can I come see the kids?
- RAVA: They're asleep, Ken.
- Just I know.
Yeah. Well, I can
I can wait up for them.
RAVA: (SIGHS) I should be asleep,
but I I can't.
Okay. I'll I'll
I'll see you tomorrow.
I'll see you at the funeral, okay?
(SIGHS)
Some people just can't
cut a deal, Fikret.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
(MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪