The A-Team (1983) s04e08 Episode Script
Blood, Sweat and Cheers
Racing's a man's game.
Can't you win in a fair race? [groaning.]
Hi, Kid.
lt's nice to see you, Uncle John.
l mean, that Kyle Ludwig is crazy.
He almost killed Dana and the baby trashed my car and put me in here.
That ought to get his engine started.
Looks like Decker's got a surprise party for us.
(Murdock) So if you're looking for the A-Team you're out of luck.
You're dead.
The only place you're going is to prison, Smith.
How are you today? (Decker) There they go! Get ready for the main event.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit.
was sent to prison by a military court.
for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade.
to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government.
they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
(Jack) l think it's okay, honey if you give it a little gas along here.
That way we'll make up some time.
You sound just like your son, you know that? That's all you two think about, is driving faster.
l promised my boy l'd get you to the doctor's appointment on time, didn't l? l mean, he must've made me promise at least a half a dozen times.
l swear, l don't know who's more nervous about having this baby him or me.
Besides, it only an appointment.
l'll probably have to sit in the waiting room anyway.
And l won't tell him that you overslept.
Honey, you are the greatest.
Well, look at that.
Jack Harmon must be going someplace in a real hurry.
He ought to be more careful.
He could have a real bad accident driving that fast.
[tires squealing.]
You know sometimes l just can't believe it that you and the Kid are gonna have a baby.
And l'm gonna have me a grandson.
Or a granddaughter.
Maybe we'll hit the jackpot and we'll have one of each.
[Jack chuckling.]
Don't you think you've had enough to drink? They ran us off the road, son.
There wasn't anything l could do.
Oh, man, you should've done something.
You were supposed to be driving.
That's what you were there for.
You know, if you'd just called Uncle John in the first place this whole thing never would have happened.
Uncle John.
Don't tell me about Uncle John.
He's no better than Kyle Ludwig and the rest of his goons.
l'm sure not gonna be forced out of this championship.
Maybe it's time somebody did something about it.
Hey, Kid! Kid, don't! Kid! Ludwig! l wanna talk to you, now! Well, if it's not the famous Kid Harmon.
How you doing, Kid? Oh, how's the family, huh? You're all through harassing me and my wife.
No kidding.
Yeah, no kidding, man.
You listen to me.
You see, racing.
Racing's a man's game.
And one of these days, when you grow up, maybe you'll qualify, huh? [groaning.]
[panting.]
Listen, man.
Nothing's gonna make me drop out of the championship.
Nothing, Ludwig.
You know, l ask myself, l say, how come this kid is such a slow learner, huh? l mean, how come all the other drivers on this track understand that l'm gonna win the title, not you? No, not you.
l mean, even your own pit crew got the hint.
They took off early this morning.
Can't you win in a fair race? Well, let's just say that l truly hate losers and these boys here, they're gonna show you the kind of loser you really are.
Oops.
Looks like you got car trouble, Kid, huh? [groaning.]
You take Kid Harmon and you take him out of the lineup permanently.
You'll have to leave soon.
We need the room.
l'll prepare the discharge papers.
Hi, Kid.
Uncle John, what are you doing here? So good to see you, Uncle John.
Thank you for coming.
Well, sure.
l was here for the Boy Scout jamboree, wasn't l? This is no jamboree this time.
Yeah, we know.
Dana told us all about it when she called.
You shouldn't have done that, Dana.
There's nothing anybody can do for me.
Kyle Ludwig has seen to that.
l remember when the military thought they could keep us from your wedding.
And a lovely wedding it was, too.
You know, l kept a piece of your wedding cake and l put in the back of B.
A.
's van and it got all moldy and started to spread wings.
You left cake in my van? Don't give up, honey.
Uncle John took a big risk coming here like this.
You know how that Colonel Decker is always snooping around.
l never knew you to be a quitter, Kid.
What did you expect me to do? l mean, that Kyle Ludwig is crazy.
He almost killed Dana and the baby trashed my car and put me in here.
Face, maybe you could check on that bill with that nurse.
All right.
We gotta get that cake out of my van.
Come on.
You know, Kid B.
A.
's got his heart set on fixing your car.
There's not a store in the county that'll sell him spare parts.
Kyle Ludwig has seen to that.
Well, Dana said your father was getting us parts.
My father's what? He wanted to make it up to you, honey.
He felt bad about what happened.
l guess things aren't any better with Jack, huh? Better? His drinking's gotten worse than ever.
lf he did go for parts he'd have to go to some other county, is that right? Right.
Well, where'd he go? He took 1 24 to Trenton.
Check out of here, we'll meet you at the garage.
Okay.
Do you think Ludwig would try to stop him? We'll find out.
[sighs.]
Looks like Mr.
Ludwig was right about old Jack Harmon.
He's going for spare parts to rebuild the Kid's car for the race.
Some insurance company sure ain't gonna be too happy about all the accidents this family's having.
l think we're too late, Colonel.
Let's go get them, B.
A.
[tires squealing.]
Jack, you all right? l was just fine till you showed up.
lt's like l told you, Uncle John.
l mean, lt's a total loss.
Kyle Ludwig is gonna be running this race alone now.
Now, this mess is beyond fixing.
Hey, Kid, if it's got a engine in it B.
A.
Baracus can fix it.
Why are you reacting like that? Kid here, he didn't mean no offense by what he said.
He just doesn't realize that you are a consummate internal-combustion artist born with a socket wrench in one hand and 10W40 coursing through your veins.
You know our B.
A.
here, his first job was a lube job.
lf you don't shut up with your jibber-jabber l'm gonna give you a lube job, fool.
Well, l checked out Kyle Ludwig, all right and, oh, l just want to know, we haven't lost our knack for putting ourselves in the most dangerous situations possible.
Man, l told you.
Kyle Ludwig won't let anybody get near him.
Yeah, kind of makes you wonder how a guy like that can pay for a racecar, pit crew and, oh, the bodyguards with 40-inch necks.
He gets his money the old-fashioned way.
He earns it.
No, Murdock, no.
l think he does what a lot of young people do these days.
He gets money from home.
Unfortunately for us, ''home'' in this case happens to be a Chicago crime family run by his dear uncle.
Uncle Carl ''The Hatchet'' Ludwig.
Whatever Kyle wants, his dear Uncle Carl gives him? l hear they're very close.
l had an Uncle Carl once.
He was a milkman.
But l never got anything out of him but cottage cheese.
Oh, fool, your brain's made of cottage cheese.
Honey.
lt'll be all right, Dana.
Uncle John will know what to do.
Murdock, you got first watch.
When Kyle finds out what we did to his musclemen, we won't be very popular.
Hmm, no.
No, if he'd just take the time to get to know us.
Uncle John, do you really think Ludwig would come here l mean, to our own garage, in the middle of the day? Never put a stupid move past a stupid man.
lt's a rule of survival, Dana.
Here we have another pearl of wisdom according to the great Saint Smith, huh? All the while l thought you were a friend of the family's.
l can't really believe that you're gonna put my kids in the middle of a war.
Now, we wouldn't want Ludwig to think he won, would we? This old wreck is not gonna run and you know it.
Hey, if you think that, then why did you even bother trying to get parts? Listen to me, son.
He can make all the promises he wants to but he can't drive the race for you.
What the kid needs is a new car.
Now, there's one guy that l know who's got enough money to buy that new car, and that's Ludwig himself.
But why would Kyle Ludwig give us money for a car? Oh, l'm sure he'll be extremely generous if Face asks him the right way.
Yeah.
(Ludwig) How much time do you need, anyhow, huh? l send you out to do a simple little job you come back here with your tails between your legs.
Harmons must've hired some heavy hitters, Mr.
Ludwig.
Oh, is that what you want me to tell my Uncle Carl, huh? You are supposed to be the heavy hitters from Chicago, remember? We'll make sure Kid Harmon doesn't rebuild his car, don't worry.
Oh, no, l'm not gonna worry, huh? Harmon's the only driver on the whole circuit that could take the championship away from me and l tell you, if he gets one wheel on that track my Uncle Carl's gonna know just how unhappy l am.
You understand me? [phone ringing.]
Get it, on your way out.
l'm gonna give these girls a chance to relax me.
l'm so tense.
[phone continues ringing.]
Yeah? Mr.
Ludwig don't wanna see anybody right now.
The Figoratti racing team? Figoratti? What about Figoratti? Some guy outside.
He says he's supposed to have an appointment with you.
He's with the Figoratti racing team from ltaly.
l know where the Figoratti team is.
They're the best in the world.
Send the guy in.
Come in.
Stupid.
There you go.
Here.
[sighing.]
Here you are.
Dave Pacini Figoratti Racing representative for the Western Hemisphere.
Let me compliment you, Mr.
Ludwig, on your excellent staff.
Your associate in the hallway he questioned me most thoroughly about why l'm here.
So, why are you here? Well, it was all in my letter.
You.
Oh, no.
Don't tell me.
You.
You see, my secretary in New York she assured me all the arrangements had been made.
Then l show up here.
l don't even have hotel reservations.
l should have anticipated it was gonna be one of these days, huh? You never got my letter, am l right? You're right.
Let me be brief.
Please.
Okay.
The Figoratti family, as you well know, has proudly financed five racing teams on the international circuit for, well, for many years.
Unfortunately, recent mounting costs have made it necessary for them to seek oh, how shall we put it, outside revenue sources.
You know, everybody knows in the racing world this Figoratti guy's a playboy and he's blowing the family fortune, right? So why don't you just cut through the grease job here, all right? [titters.]
[hesitantly.]
Can.
Can we discuss this in private? Oh, absolutely.
Take a hike.
But the girls stay.
They know better than to talk, don't you? [laughing.]
Great country, isn't it? Certainly is.
Well, let me be candid, Mr.
Ludwig.
Giancarlo Figoratti can no longer afford the millions it takes to keep five teams in operation.
What's in it for me? Tell me, have you ever given any consideration to driving international Formula 1? Formula 1? Are you telling me that l could buy my way onto the Figoratti racing team? Formula 1, huh? l mean, of course l want to drive one.
God, l'd blow the whole field away with a Formula 1 .
Well, how much dough are we talking about? Oh, million dollars.
Spread over the whole season.
Million dollars.
Yes.
Now, what makes you think l got that kind of money, huh? Mr.
Ludwig, you come from a very wealthy very influential family.
And word has it that there may be certain profits that need to be disposed of in quiet European ventures.
l'll tell you what, l've decided to like you.
You call me Kyle from now on, all right? And l'll talk to my Uncle Carl about the money.
Excellent.
Well, l have to talk to some other potential investors so what say we connect in, oh.
No, no, don't talk about investors.
No? l'm gonna drive your car for you, you understand? How much are we talking to lock this little deal up right now? Oh, Kyle, l'm not authorized-- Oh, no, come on, we're not gonna talk about ''authorized,'' are we, man? No.
No.
Well-- What we're talking about is bills in your wallet and me on the Figoratti racing team, am l right? Yeah, who said we weren't? Did somebody say we weren't? 46, 47, 48, 49, 50.
$50,000.
l have never seen that much money.
That's truly amazing.
Face, how did you ever pull this off? Oh, Kyle Ludwig isn't such a bad fellow, really.
Once you appeal to his basic sense of greed, larceny, corruption.
Ah, you haven't got a hope in heaven of getting a car ready in time.
What do you mean, we ain't got no hope? B.
A.
, please.
You are our pit crew inspiration.
lt would be well for you not to dwell on the probabilities of ''why not'' and concern yourself with ''what if.
'' [ High hopes, he's got high-- [ Come on, guys.
We got a car to buy.
[ high hopes, he's got high Apple pie in the [[ [electric sander whirring.]
Where did Harmon get that, huh? [engine roaring.]
l don't know, B.
A.
l'm just not getting the power in the turns like l should.
Hey, Kid, don't worry about nothing.
l'll work on this car all night long, if l have to.
Now, l wouldn't believe that, Kid, if l were you.
Because if you're planning on winning that championship race tomorrow you got a whole lot to worry about.
You must be Kyle Lovesick.
Ludwig.
Kyle Ludwig.
And who are you supposed to be, huh? l'm the Clean Racing Fairy.
This is my helper.
Well, it's really nice to see you fellows again.
Last time l saw you, you were trying to send Jack Harmon to his maker.
Remember? Wait a second, that was you? You know, l don't know how to tell you this, but you're dead.
How do you think l got to be the Clean Racing Fairy? Now, don't waste any pixy dust on him.
lt'd probably take a ton anyway.
Come on, Kid.
That ought to get his engine started.
Yeah.
Did you hear what he said, huh? They're gonna be working on that car all night long.
Now, by morning l want the job done and this time l want it done right, you understand? Because l'm not gonna look like a fool in front of this ltalian racing guy during the time trials.
Don't worry, you can count on us, Mr.
Ludwig.
No, no.
Now, this time, l'm gonna send out for some professional muscle.
[birds chirping.]
lt was pure magic, watching you fix Kid Harmon's car.
l mean, the way your hands just transformed mere metal into pure, mystical motoring magnificence.
Behold, even as we speak, the legend spreads.
Welcome brothers, welcome to the very spot where future generations are gonna come to see where the mighty B.
A.
put camshaft to lathe.
Murdock.
l don't think that these gentlemen have come to pay their respects.
What? Blasphemy.
Pay no attention, big guy.
Everybody out of the garage.
[pleasantly.]
Oh, all right.
What are you gonna do with that? We're gonna see if the smoke detector in your garage is working.
You don't wanna do that, sucker.
Avert your eyes, B.
A.
Look not onto this travesty.
Looks like the smoke detector in your garage is working just fine.
l can't believe you did this.
l mean, that car must be worth a fortune.
Yeah? Breaks my heart.
[chuckling.]
Well when Kyle Ludwig finds out that you just torched his best race car he's gonna break more than that.
What are you talking about? B.
A.
? l told you you didn't wanna do this, sucker.
Now, don't you feel like a dum-dum? Now we're gonna tie you guys up and leave you for the authorities.
[police sirens wailing.]
You can explain your eyewitness view on ''How to Start an Arson Fire.
'' l cannot believe l'm driving a piece of junk like this in a championship race.
Ah, Kyle, good morning.
Pacini.
How are you? Nice to see you.
Nice to be seen.
Listen, l got a surprise visitor for you.
Kyle Ludwig, may l present Signore Giancarlo Figoratti.
He wanted to meet you in person.
l know, call him impulsive.
[imitating ltalian accent.]
Hello.
How are you today? l'm fine, l'm fine.
Listen, this is a real pleasure for me, and an honor.
Hello.
How are you today, eh? Fine.
Mr.
Figoratti doesn't speak much English.
Well that's too bad because, you know [laughing.]
l don't speak ltalian.
Hello.
How are you today? l'm fine.
Hey, Kyle.
Too bad about your car.
[in ltalian.]
What'd he say? Oh, he says that, that is a very fine-looking racing machine.
Well, you tell him for me, that it's not so much the car it's the man behind the wheel.
You got that, Kid? (male announcer on PA) Gentlemen, start your engines.
[imitating engine roaring.]
Excuse me, pal.
[engine revving.]
B.
A.
, that engine sounds as smooth as honey.
[tires screeching.]
(announcer on PA) Kid Harmon's got the jump on Kyle Ludwig on the start.
Harmon, in car number 4, is holding his lead through Turn 2.
[inaudible.]
Ludwig, in number 98, has slipped under Kid Harmon, entering Turn 4.
He's holding the lead down the front straight.
Kid Harmon's squeezed inside Ludwig.
He's definitely not afraid to swab clean out there.
It's gonna be close but it's Kid Harmon taking the checkered flag for the win.
[crowd cheering.]
[people whistling.]
Nice job.
Nice job, huh? Uncle John! We did it, huh? Congratulations, Kid, you're learning.
All right, let's get ready for the main event.
All right.
Colonel Decker, please.
Yeah, this is Jack Harmon.
Well, you can tell the Colonel from me that l know where he can get his hands on Colonel John Smith and the A-Team.
[[[music playing.]
(Face) And for you.
[women giggling.]
(Murdock) Ah.
[Murdock and Face laughing.]
Uh-oh, we're almost out of champagne.
Down to a scant six bottles.
Yo! More refreshments, if you please.
Now.
You're really running up quite a tab here.
l believe my close personal friend, Mr.
Kyle Ludwig, asked you to take care of us.
Yeah, good help is so hard to find these days.
[in ltalian.]
What did you say, Giancarlo ? Oh, he said that your hair is lovely in this light.
Oh, he's so cute.
[in ltalian.]
What did he say? He said, ''So are you.
'' So, what is all this? These guys can really put away the bubbly, Mr.
Ludwig.
You give them anything they want, you understand? Anything.
So l trust you gentlemen are enjoying yourselves? Obviously you are.
Yes, as a matter of fact, we are.
The water's perfect.
Why don't you join us? Oh, no, no.
Maybe later, huh? [in ltalian.]
Uh-oh l'm afraid Signore Figoratti is a little concerned about your performance in the qualifying race today.
Concerned? What's he got to be concerned about? l had a bad day.
l mean, he's gotta understand that.
You tell him that.
[in ltalian.]
Yes, yes, of course.
[stuttering.]
What is it? lt seems that he was impressed with the performance of that other young driver, Kid Harmon.
Now, you listen to me.
You forget about Kid Harmon, you understand? l got a $50,000 investment on our little friendship and either you help me out with Figoratti or you're gonna find yourself floating face down in my beautiful swimming pool, you understand? [stuttering.]
l'll do what l can, Mr.
Ludwig, but if Harmon wins that championship, well Signore Figoratti, he's bound to notice.
Hello.
How are you today? l'm fine.
Look, you leave Kid Harmon to me, all right? lt's wired.
l've got some drivers on the payroll to make sure he never finishes the race.
You are a very creative man.
[in ltalian.]
Right.
lt's looking real good, Kid.
We checked out everything.
Rod bearings, gaskets, the works.
You gonna have the fastest car in the race tomorrow.
Wow, B.
A.
, man.
Thanks.
When Murdock said you were the best mechanic in the world he wasn't fooling.
B.
A.
didn't do all the work, Kid.
Your father supervised the whole job.
That's right.
lt was his idea to equalize the air-fuel distribution, too.
To Jack Harmon, the old drunk, right? The old man, he needs some love and attention so why not let him tinker around with the automobile so he that feels part of it? Hmm? lsn't he sad? Hey.
Who the hell do you think you are, talking to Uncle John like that? lf it wasn't for him and the A-Team l'd still be back in that hospital, thanks to you.
Thanks to me? Yeah.
That's enough, Kid.
No.
No, it isn't.
lt's time we had it out.
lt's time you heard how sick and tired l am of your drinking and your excuses for everything.
And you know what else, Uncle John? He's always badmouthing you.
And he showed me these newspaper clippings to prove it.
Well, l don't care how many times you tell me, Dad l know he didn't commit those crimes in the army.
l know he's innocent.
And l know he's my friend! Well, you did it.
Congratulations.
You turned my son against me.
You got even.
Guess l'll go relieve Murdock.
Yeah, thanks, B.
A.
Feel like taking a swing at me, Kid? No.
Of course not.
Then you shouldn't be swinging at your father, either.
l'm sorry.
Uncle John, what did he mean when he said you got even? Well you loved your mother, didn't you, Kid? Yeah, you know l did.
So did l.
A long time ago.
Your father and l, both did.
What? Yeah.
When we were about your age we both went after the same girl.
Your mother.
She was the most beautiful thing you ever saw.
And we were both crazy about her.
We both proposed, and she had to choose between us.
No way.
l don't believe she had the chance to choose you and she picks him.
[laughing.]
Oh, yes.
She chose your father for all the things he was and l wasn't.
Family-oriented secure in his job, and always there for her.
And when she died, that's when he started to drink.
Now, maybe you and l could help him find his way back.
l don't know.
You think about it.
Hey, B.
A.
, where's Hannibal? He went into the house.
Oh, well, l gotta talk to him right away.
Ludwig's paid off some drivers to go after Kid in the race.
(Murdock) Oh, mamma mia! [[[music playing.]
Mamma mia.
[moaning.]
What, Giancarlo ? Gee, l wish l knew what you were saying.
[speaking ltalian.]
But, then, who needs to talk, right, Giancarlo? [breathing hard.]
l was gonna ask you, Figoratti how you were doing, but l guess.
Are you okay? How you say, barfully, barful? [laughing.]
This man is very ''lose-his-cookies.
'' Why don't you take him up to the bathroom, all right? Come on, Giancarlo.
[gasping.]
Easy does it.
[in ltalian accent.]
How are you today? [groaning.]
Scusi.
Scusi.
Oh, Giancarlo, you okay? [groaning.]
[burps.]
Ah.
[in ltalian accent.]
Ah, is in safe.
[muttering in ltalian accent.]
[ And l should have painted my nails [[ Around, around she goes.
Where she stops, nobody knows but me.
That's it.
Yes, yes, this gonna be a Section 5.
Easy.
Let's see.
Figoratti, you okay, pal? Figoratti! [laughing.]
(woman) Oh, Giancarlo.
John, l wanna talk to you.
About what? l feel terrible about things.
Oh, don't worry.
Lots of things were said that nobody meant.
No, l don't mean that.
l called the military.
l wish there was something l could do to rectify it.
Well, the fact that you told me is enough.
Thanks, Jack.
Let's go, guys.
The only place you're going is to prison, Smith.
Decker, what a surprise.
l'll bet it is.
(Crane) Good work, Harmon.
l knew all those wanted posters l distributed on you had to pay off sooner or later, Smith.
l just never dreamed it would be one your friends who'd turn you in.
[imitating ltalian accent.]
Slowly.
Slowly.
Go! Go! Go! Go! l don't understand why he's late, Dana.
He should be here by now.
Why would Uncle John stand me up? He'll be here, honey.
You know how he's on the run.
He's got to be careful.
Yeah, but the race is about to begin.
l can't drive without B.
A.
and Uncle John.
Damn it! They let me down.
That not true, son.
l'm the one that let you down.
You're here, Dad.
After all those things l said about you l'm surprised you even bothered.
(announcer on PA) Attention, gentlemen, the five-minute board is up.
The car is running fine.
You give the spectators a whopping show.
Hmm? We'll talk later.
Good luck.
All right.
Do me luck.
Here goes nothing! [car engine revving.]
Go get them.
[engine starting.]
That's Kid Harmon in number 4.
You know what we gotta do.
Make him part of the wall.
He's a short runner.
All right, men.
We know from Jack Harmon the A-Team's been working with a fourth man.
So, be ready for an attempt to rescue Smith and the others.
Roger, Colonel.
(Murdock) Mamma mia.
[chattering ltalian-sounding gibberish.]
[in ltalian.]
What is this guy trying to tell us? Beats me.
Hey, what are you trying to tell us? [articulating.]
Why did you bring us here? [stammering.]
Carl Ludwig.
How you say? He's got a problem.
Famiglia, famiglia fighting.
Famiglia what? Who's fighting? His family's fighting.
Somebody's fighting with his family! Carl Ludwig he's no good friends with Al Capone.
Capisce? Al Capone? l think he means it a hit on the Ludwigs.
Hey, maybe somebody's trying to get to Carl ''The Hatchet'' by making a move on Kyle.
Pretending to be the military.
lt's a good cover.
Carl wants to do something about this.
[in ltalian.]
Thanks, Mr.
Figoratti.
We'll take care of this, don't worry.
Hello.
How are you today? Thank you very much.
Okay? Hello.
Thank you very much, okay? Come on.
Don't move.
Not one of you.
The A-Team accomplices are making their move.
Roll them out.
(Face and Hannibal) [ You are my sunshine [ [ My only sunshine [ [ You make me happy [[ [bell clanging.]
[ Oh, l found a cow [ [mooing.]
[ Under my shoe [ [ l found a cow, how about you? [ [ l found a cow [[ [[[scatting.]
[mooing.]
Come on, girl.
Come on, right here, right here.
Come on.
Yeah.
Take it easy.
There you go.
Take it easy, Bessie.
Take it easy.
Think of how your milk's gonna make all those boys and girls nice and healthy and strong, and just think of how proud B.
A.
is going to be of you.
God, this is a terrible road.
Why'd we have to come this way? lt's the only other way back to the interstate.
(soldier #1) What's this? [[[singing.]
Hey, Pops, you wanna do that someplace else? We're in a hurry here.
Hey, you from the city, boy? Well, yeah What's that got to do with moving the cow? Well, l thought as much, 'cause lf you spent any time on a farm you'd know that when a lady like Bessie here wants to give milk [laughing.]
she gives milk.
Aw, take a little bit more.
Yeah.
Hey, Hank, you wanna give us a hand here? Yeah! Hey, Hank! Hey, Hank, come on down here and give us a hand.
'Cause they ain't gonna be no good.
You gonna need more hands than you got, boy.
Here, let me take that for you.
[cow mooing.]
(Murdock) Yeah.
Keep on pushing.
As my daddy sang in that old song.
[ Keep on pushing [[ Keep on pushing, boys.
Let's go.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
This is your captain, once again taking you under my wing by keeping you close to my heart, which is where you belong.
This is Crane.
Over.
What's going on? [imitating foreign accent.]
Hello, Wilbur.
Wilbur? Who is this? So you are looking for the A-Team? You're out of luck, Wilbur! The A-Team? What about the A-Team? Colonel.
Captain? The A-Team has escaped.
Escaped? Yes, sir.
How? Who's responsible? But l know how Smith thinks, Captain.
He won't leave this area till his business with Kid Harmon is finished.
You can count on it.
Let's move out.
(announcer on PA) Katz in 01 is all over Kid Harmon down the back straight.
Jones in the 16 car is smoking under-braking into the turns.
He could be looking at a black flag soon.
How's it going, Jack? Yeah, well.
John? What are you doing here? We'll talk later.
But Colonel Decker will be here looking for you.
Hmm.
l'd be disappointed if he wasn't.
That's one of Ludwig's men over there.
We're in position, Colonel.
Okay, good.
Number 16 is throwing a little smoke now.
You guys be sure our boy gets a fair race.
Okay.
[engine roaring.]
[shouting over noise.]
Jones, Jones, you got a telephone call! Dwight Eisenhower on line 4.
What? Your sister had her kidneys.
[talking gibberish.]
What about my sister? lt dropped! l sure hope his sister's kidney turns out all right.
Poor thing.
We're gonna have to remember to send her a get-well card.
What do you think? You don't think anything.
Hey, who the heck are you? Don't worry about anything.
Jones had an emergency.
This is his twin brother.
Don't you say anything, don't you say one thing.
Jones at number 16 is back in the competition.
Attaboy, B.
A.
, attaboy.
Get on it now.
(Face on radio) All right, 01, you want to get 01 he's right ahead of you.
There you go.
Dad, they're trying to run him off the track.
l know it.
(Hannibal) Now, Dana, relax.
We got a little plan.
Okay, B.
A.
Give that powder puff a little jolt of adrenalin.
You got it.
(announcer on PA) Katz in 01 is cartwheeling through the infield.
Attaboy, B.
A.
, attaboy.
Way to go.
Katz is out of the car.
He's shaken, but walking under his own power.
.
All right, now take care of the other slime balls.
(B.
A.
) I'm on it.
Uh-oh.
Better hurry it up, Hannibal.
Looks like Decker's got a surprise party for us.
Well, things are getting interesting.
(Jack) You gotta get out of here.
He's going to come and pick you up and you know that.
Relax, Jack, we got plenty of time.
Enjoy the end of the race.
Here they come.
lf the A-Team's inside these walls, they'd better not escape.
You two, take those bleachers Captain, take the men and look those bleachers over.
Disperse! (announcer on PA) The 16 car's up on Szollosi in 95.
It's getting mean out there.
The Kid has closed on Ludwig.
He's alongside.
He's nosing him on the inside and he triumphs at the flag.
[all cheering.]
All right! All right! Come on.
Come on! [crowd cheering.]
You win nothing.
You get out of my way, old man.
[groans.]
l should have done that a long time ago.
What a happy day, huh? [tires screeching.]
There they go! l love it when a plan comes together.
[all cheering.]
All right! Check it out! [cheering.]
Can you believe it? lsn't this the biggest thing you've ever seen? (Hannibal) lndeed.
lt is great, man.
Well, we'll just have to build an addition to the house just to keep it in.
We'll have to build that addition to the house just to put all our kids in.
Let me get through this one first, okay? Okay.
Uncle John, l don't know how we can thank you enough for all that you, and Face, B.
A.
, and Murdock did.
Oh, it's nothing, Dana.
You know, the thing l don't understand is how did Colonel Decker ever find out that you were here? Oh, well Decker may be obnoxious, but he's very determined.
Listen, son, there's something you ought to know about that.
Yes, your father promised me that he would personally ask around quietly and find out exactly what happened, like the good friend he is.
And a good friend l'll always be.
Well, we better get going, huh? [in ltalian accent.]
Si, si.
We hate to go but we got to fly back to Rome where our families are awaiting the traditional grape harvest.
That's right, Murdock.
You remember? And we don't wanna be late.
And l especially like the part where we get to stomp the grapes.
And we keep on stomping them, all day long.
(Murdock) You don't have to get so riled up! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!
Can't you win in a fair race? [groaning.]
Hi, Kid.
lt's nice to see you, Uncle John.
l mean, that Kyle Ludwig is crazy.
He almost killed Dana and the baby trashed my car and put me in here.
That ought to get his engine started.
Looks like Decker's got a surprise party for us.
(Murdock) So if you're looking for the A-Team you're out of luck.
You're dead.
The only place you're going is to prison, Smith.
How are you today? (Decker) There they go! Get ready for the main event.
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit.
was sent to prison by a military court.
for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade.
to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government.
they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing.]
(Jack) l think it's okay, honey if you give it a little gas along here.
That way we'll make up some time.
You sound just like your son, you know that? That's all you two think about, is driving faster.
l promised my boy l'd get you to the doctor's appointment on time, didn't l? l mean, he must've made me promise at least a half a dozen times.
l swear, l don't know who's more nervous about having this baby him or me.
Besides, it only an appointment.
l'll probably have to sit in the waiting room anyway.
And l won't tell him that you overslept.
Honey, you are the greatest.
Well, look at that.
Jack Harmon must be going someplace in a real hurry.
He ought to be more careful.
He could have a real bad accident driving that fast.
[tires squealing.]
You know sometimes l just can't believe it that you and the Kid are gonna have a baby.
And l'm gonna have me a grandson.
Or a granddaughter.
Maybe we'll hit the jackpot and we'll have one of each.
[Jack chuckling.]
Don't you think you've had enough to drink? They ran us off the road, son.
There wasn't anything l could do.
Oh, man, you should've done something.
You were supposed to be driving.
That's what you were there for.
You know, if you'd just called Uncle John in the first place this whole thing never would have happened.
Uncle John.
Don't tell me about Uncle John.
He's no better than Kyle Ludwig and the rest of his goons.
l'm sure not gonna be forced out of this championship.
Maybe it's time somebody did something about it.
Hey, Kid! Kid, don't! Kid! Ludwig! l wanna talk to you, now! Well, if it's not the famous Kid Harmon.
How you doing, Kid? Oh, how's the family, huh? You're all through harassing me and my wife.
No kidding.
Yeah, no kidding, man.
You listen to me.
You see, racing.
Racing's a man's game.
And one of these days, when you grow up, maybe you'll qualify, huh? [groaning.]
[panting.]
Listen, man.
Nothing's gonna make me drop out of the championship.
Nothing, Ludwig.
You know, l ask myself, l say, how come this kid is such a slow learner, huh? l mean, how come all the other drivers on this track understand that l'm gonna win the title, not you? No, not you.
l mean, even your own pit crew got the hint.
They took off early this morning.
Can't you win in a fair race? Well, let's just say that l truly hate losers and these boys here, they're gonna show you the kind of loser you really are.
Oops.
Looks like you got car trouble, Kid, huh? [groaning.]
You take Kid Harmon and you take him out of the lineup permanently.
You'll have to leave soon.
We need the room.
l'll prepare the discharge papers.
Hi, Kid.
Uncle John, what are you doing here? So good to see you, Uncle John.
Thank you for coming.
Well, sure.
l was here for the Boy Scout jamboree, wasn't l? This is no jamboree this time.
Yeah, we know.
Dana told us all about it when she called.
You shouldn't have done that, Dana.
There's nothing anybody can do for me.
Kyle Ludwig has seen to that.
l remember when the military thought they could keep us from your wedding.
And a lovely wedding it was, too.
You know, l kept a piece of your wedding cake and l put in the back of B.
A.
's van and it got all moldy and started to spread wings.
You left cake in my van? Don't give up, honey.
Uncle John took a big risk coming here like this.
You know how that Colonel Decker is always snooping around.
l never knew you to be a quitter, Kid.
What did you expect me to do? l mean, that Kyle Ludwig is crazy.
He almost killed Dana and the baby trashed my car and put me in here.
Face, maybe you could check on that bill with that nurse.
All right.
We gotta get that cake out of my van.
Come on.
You know, Kid B.
A.
's got his heart set on fixing your car.
There's not a store in the county that'll sell him spare parts.
Kyle Ludwig has seen to that.
Well, Dana said your father was getting us parts.
My father's what? He wanted to make it up to you, honey.
He felt bad about what happened.
l guess things aren't any better with Jack, huh? Better? His drinking's gotten worse than ever.
lf he did go for parts he'd have to go to some other county, is that right? Right.
Well, where'd he go? He took 1 24 to Trenton.
Check out of here, we'll meet you at the garage.
Okay.
Do you think Ludwig would try to stop him? We'll find out.
[sighs.]
Looks like Mr.
Ludwig was right about old Jack Harmon.
He's going for spare parts to rebuild the Kid's car for the race.
Some insurance company sure ain't gonna be too happy about all the accidents this family's having.
l think we're too late, Colonel.
Let's go get them, B.
A.
[tires squealing.]
Jack, you all right? l was just fine till you showed up.
lt's like l told you, Uncle John.
l mean, lt's a total loss.
Kyle Ludwig is gonna be running this race alone now.
Now, this mess is beyond fixing.
Hey, Kid, if it's got a engine in it B.
A.
Baracus can fix it.
Why are you reacting like that? Kid here, he didn't mean no offense by what he said.
He just doesn't realize that you are a consummate internal-combustion artist born with a socket wrench in one hand and 10W40 coursing through your veins.
You know our B.
A.
here, his first job was a lube job.
lf you don't shut up with your jibber-jabber l'm gonna give you a lube job, fool.
Well, l checked out Kyle Ludwig, all right and, oh, l just want to know, we haven't lost our knack for putting ourselves in the most dangerous situations possible.
Man, l told you.
Kyle Ludwig won't let anybody get near him.
Yeah, kind of makes you wonder how a guy like that can pay for a racecar, pit crew and, oh, the bodyguards with 40-inch necks.
He gets his money the old-fashioned way.
He earns it.
No, Murdock, no.
l think he does what a lot of young people do these days.
He gets money from home.
Unfortunately for us, ''home'' in this case happens to be a Chicago crime family run by his dear uncle.
Uncle Carl ''The Hatchet'' Ludwig.
Whatever Kyle wants, his dear Uncle Carl gives him? l hear they're very close.
l had an Uncle Carl once.
He was a milkman.
But l never got anything out of him but cottage cheese.
Oh, fool, your brain's made of cottage cheese.
Honey.
lt'll be all right, Dana.
Uncle John will know what to do.
Murdock, you got first watch.
When Kyle finds out what we did to his musclemen, we won't be very popular.
Hmm, no.
No, if he'd just take the time to get to know us.
Uncle John, do you really think Ludwig would come here l mean, to our own garage, in the middle of the day? Never put a stupid move past a stupid man.
lt's a rule of survival, Dana.
Here we have another pearl of wisdom according to the great Saint Smith, huh? All the while l thought you were a friend of the family's.
l can't really believe that you're gonna put my kids in the middle of a war.
Now, we wouldn't want Ludwig to think he won, would we? This old wreck is not gonna run and you know it.
Hey, if you think that, then why did you even bother trying to get parts? Listen to me, son.
He can make all the promises he wants to but he can't drive the race for you.
What the kid needs is a new car.
Now, there's one guy that l know who's got enough money to buy that new car, and that's Ludwig himself.
But why would Kyle Ludwig give us money for a car? Oh, l'm sure he'll be extremely generous if Face asks him the right way.
Yeah.
(Ludwig) How much time do you need, anyhow, huh? l send you out to do a simple little job you come back here with your tails between your legs.
Harmons must've hired some heavy hitters, Mr.
Ludwig.
Oh, is that what you want me to tell my Uncle Carl, huh? You are supposed to be the heavy hitters from Chicago, remember? We'll make sure Kid Harmon doesn't rebuild his car, don't worry.
Oh, no, l'm not gonna worry, huh? Harmon's the only driver on the whole circuit that could take the championship away from me and l tell you, if he gets one wheel on that track my Uncle Carl's gonna know just how unhappy l am.
You understand me? [phone ringing.]
Get it, on your way out.
l'm gonna give these girls a chance to relax me.
l'm so tense.
[phone continues ringing.]
Yeah? Mr.
Ludwig don't wanna see anybody right now.
The Figoratti racing team? Figoratti? What about Figoratti? Some guy outside.
He says he's supposed to have an appointment with you.
He's with the Figoratti racing team from ltaly.
l know where the Figoratti team is.
They're the best in the world.
Send the guy in.
Come in.
Stupid.
There you go.
Here.
[sighing.]
Here you are.
Dave Pacini Figoratti Racing representative for the Western Hemisphere.
Let me compliment you, Mr.
Ludwig, on your excellent staff.
Your associate in the hallway he questioned me most thoroughly about why l'm here.
So, why are you here? Well, it was all in my letter.
You.
Oh, no.
Don't tell me.
You.
You see, my secretary in New York she assured me all the arrangements had been made.
Then l show up here.
l don't even have hotel reservations.
l should have anticipated it was gonna be one of these days, huh? You never got my letter, am l right? You're right.
Let me be brief.
Please.
Okay.
The Figoratti family, as you well know, has proudly financed five racing teams on the international circuit for, well, for many years.
Unfortunately, recent mounting costs have made it necessary for them to seek oh, how shall we put it, outside revenue sources.
You know, everybody knows in the racing world this Figoratti guy's a playboy and he's blowing the family fortune, right? So why don't you just cut through the grease job here, all right? [titters.]
[hesitantly.]
Can.
Can we discuss this in private? Oh, absolutely.
Take a hike.
But the girls stay.
They know better than to talk, don't you? [laughing.]
Great country, isn't it? Certainly is.
Well, let me be candid, Mr.
Ludwig.
Giancarlo Figoratti can no longer afford the millions it takes to keep five teams in operation.
What's in it for me? Tell me, have you ever given any consideration to driving international Formula 1? Formula 1? Are you telling me that l could buy my way onto the Figoratti racing team? Formula 1, huh? l mean, of course l want to drive one.
God, l'd blow the whole field away with a Formula 1 .
Well, how much dough are we talking about? Oh, million dollars.
Spread over the whole season.
Million dollars.
Yes.
Now, what makes you think l got that kind of money, huh? Mr.
Ludwig, you come from a very wealthy very influential family.
And word has it that there may be certain profits that need to be disposed of in quiet European ventures.
l'll tell you what, l've decided to like you.
You call me Kyle from now on, all right? And l'll talk to my Uncle Carl about the money.
Excellent.
Well, l have to talk to some other potential investors so what say we connect in, oh.
No, no, don't talk about investors.
No? l'm gonna drive your car for you, you understand? How much are we talking to lock this little deal up right now? Oh, Kyle, l'm not authorized-- Oh, no, come on, we're not gonna talk about ''authorized,'' are we, man? No.
No.
Well-- What we're talking about is bills in your wallet and me on the Figoratti racing team, am l right? Yeah, who said we weren't? Did somebody say we weren't? 46, 47, 48, 49, 50.
$50,000.
l have never seen that much money.
That's truly amazing.
Face, how did you ever pull this off? Oh, Kyle Ludwig isn't such a bad fellow, really.
Once you appeal to his basic sense of greed, larceny, corruption.
Ah, you haven't got a hope in heaven of getting a car ready in time.
What do you mean, we ain't got no hope? B.
A.
, please.
You are our pit crew inspiration.
lt would be well for you not to dwell on the probabilities of ''why not'' and concern yourself with ''what if.
'' [ High hopes, he's got high-- [ Come on, guys.
We got a car to buy.
[ high hopes, he's got high Apple pie in the [[ [electric sander whirring.]
Where did Harmon get that, huh? [engine roaring.]
l don't know, B.
A.
l'm just not getting the power in the turns like l should.
Hey, Kid, don't worry about nothing.
l'll work on this car all night long, if l have to.
Now, l wouldn't believe that, Kid, if l were you.
Because if you're planning on winning that championship race tomorrow you got a whole lot to worry about.
You must be Kyle Lovesick.
Ludwig.
Kyle Ludwig.
And who are you supposed to be, huh? l'm the Clean Racing Fairy.
This is my helper.
Well, it's really nice to see you fellows again.
Last time l saw you, you were trying to send Jack Harmon to his maker.
Remember? Wait a second, that was you? You know, l don't know how to tell you this, but you're dead.
How do you think l got to be the Clean Racing Fairy? Now, don't waste any pixy dust on him.
lt'd probably take a ton anyway.
Come on, Kid.
That ought to get his engine started.
Yeah.
Did you hear what he said, huh? They're gonna be working on that car all night long.
Now, by morning l want the job done and this time l want it done right, you understand? Because l'm not gonna look like a fool in front of this ltalian racing guy during the time trials.
Don't worry, you can count on us, Mr.
Ludwig.
No, no.
Now, this time, l'm gonna send out for some professional muscle.
[birds chirping.]
lt was pure magic, watching you fix Kid Harmon's car.
l mean, the way your hands just transformed mere metal into pure, mystical motoring magnificence.
Behold, even as we speak, the legend spreads.
Welcome brothers, welcome to the very spot where future generations are gonna come to see where the mighty B.
A.
put camshaft to lathe.
Murdock.
l don't think that these gentlemen have come to pay their respects.
What? Blasphemy.
Pay no attention, big guy.
Everybody out of the garage.
[pleasantly.]
Oh, all right.
What are you gonna do with that? We're gonna see if the smoke detector in your garage is working.
You don't wanna do that, sucker.
Avert your eyes, B.
A.
Look not onto this travesty.
Looks like the smoke detector in your garage is working just fine.
l can't believe you did this.
l mean, that car must be worth a fortune.
Yeah? Breaks my heart.
[chuckling.]
Well when Kyle Ludwig finds out that you just torched his best race car he's gonna break more than that.
What are you talking about? B.
A.
? l told you you didn't wanna do this, sucker.
Now, don't you feel like a dum-dum? Now we're gonna tie you guys up and leave you for the authorities.
[police sirens wailing.]
You can explain your eyewitness view on ''How to Start an Arson Fire.
'' l cannot believe l'm driving a piece of junk like this in a championship race.
Ah, Kyle, good morning.
Pacini.
How are you? Nice to see you.
Nice to be seen.
Listen, l got a surprise visitor for you.
Kyle Ludwig, may l present Signore Giancarlo Figoratti.
He wanted to meet you in person.
l know, call him impulsive.
[imitating ltalian accent.]
Hello.
How are you today? l'm fine, l'm fine.
Listen, this is a real pleasure for me, and an honor.
Hello.
How are you today, eh? Fine.
Mr.
Figoratti doesn't speak much English.
Well that's too bad because, you know [laughing.]
l don't speak ltalian.
Hello.
How are you today? l'm fine.
Hey, Kyle.
Too bad about your car.
[in ltalian.]
What'd he say? Oh, he says that, that is a very fine-looking racing machine.
Well, you tell him for me, that it's not so much the car it's the man behind the wheel.
You got that, Kid? (male announcer on PA) Gentlemen, start your engines.
[imitating engine roaring.]
Excuse me, pal.
[engine revving.]
B.
A.
, that engine sounds as smooth as honey.
[tires screeching.]
(announcer on PA) Kid Harmon's got the jump on Kyle Ludwig on the start.
Harmon, in car number 4, is holding his lead through Turn 2.
[inaudible.]
Ludwig, in number 98, has slipped under Kid Harmon, entering Turn 4.
He's holding the lead down the front straight.
Kid Harmon's squeezed inside Ludwig.
He's definitely not afraid to swab clean out there.
It's gonna be close but it's Kid Harmon taking the checkered flag for the win.
[crowd cheering.]
[people whistling.]
Nice job.
Nice job, huh? Uncle John! We did it, huh? Congratulations, Kid, you're learning.
All right, let's get ready for the main event.
All right.
Colonel Decker, please.
Yeah, this is Jack Harmon.
Well, you can tell the Colonel from me that l know where he can get his hands on Colonel John Smith and the A-Team.
[[[music playing.]
(Face) And for you.
[women giggling.]
(Murdock) Ah.
[Murdock and Face laughing.]
Uh-oh, we're almost out of champagne.
Down to a scant six bottles.
Yo! More refreshments, if you please.
Now.
You're really running up quite a tab here.
l believe my close personal friend, Mr.
Kyle Ludwig, asked you to take care of us.
Yeah, good help is so hard to find these days.
[in ltalian.]
What did you say, Giancarlo ? Oh, he said that your hair is lovely in this light.
Oh, he's so cute.
[in ltalian.]
What did he say? He said, ''So are you.
'' So, what is all this? These guys can really put away the bubbly, Mr.
Ludwig.
You give them anything they want, you understand? Anything.
So l trust you gentlemen are enjoying yourselves? Obviously you are.
Yes, as a matter of fact, we are.
The water's perfect.
Why don't you join us? Oh, no, no.
Maybe later, huh? [in ltalian.]
Uh-oh l'm afraid Signore Figoratti is a little concerned about your performance in the qualifying race today.
Concerned? What's he got to be concerned about? l had a bad day.
l mean, he's gotta understand that.
You tell him that.
[in ltalian.]
Yes, yes, of course.
[stuttering.]
What is it? lt seems that he was impressed with the performance of that other young driver, Kid Harmon.
Now, you listen to me.
You forget about Kid Harmon, you understand? l got a $50,000 investment on our little friendship and either you help me out with Figoratti or you're gonna find yourself floating face down in my beautiful swimming pool, you understand? [stuttering.]
l'll do what l can, Mr.
Ludwig, but if Harmon wins that championship, well Signore Figoratti, he's bound to notice.
Hello.
How are you today? l'm fine.
Look, you leave Kid Harmon to me, all right? lt's wired.
l've got some drivers on the payroll to make sure he never finishes the race.
You are a very creative man.
[in ltalian.]
Right.
lt's looking real good, Kid.
We checked out everything.
Rod bearings, gaskets, the works.
You gonna have the fastest car in the race tomorrow.
Wow, B.
A.
, man.
Thanks.
When Murdock said you were the best mechanic in the world he wasn't fooling.
B.
A.
didn't do all the work, Kid.
Your father supervised the whole job.
That's right.
lt was his idea to equalize the air-fuel distribution, too.
To Jack Harmon, the old drunk, right? The old man, he needs some love and attention so why not let him tinker around with the automobile so he that feels part of it? Hmm? lsn't he sad? Hey.
Who the hell do you think you are, talking to Uncle John like that? lf it wasn't for him and the A-Team l'd still be back in that hospital, thanks to you.
Thanks to me? Yeah.
That's enough, Kid.
No.
No, it isn't.
lt's time we had it out.
lt's time you heard how sick and tired l am of your drinking and your excuses for everything.
And you know what else, Uncle John? He's always badmouthing you.
And he showed me these newspaper clippings to prove it.
Well, l don't care how many times you tell me, Dad l know he didn't commit those crimes in the army.
l know he's innocent.
And l know he's my friend! Well, you did it.
Congratulations.
You turned my son against me.
You got even.
Guess l'll go relieve Murdock.
Yeah, thanks, B.
A.
Feel like taking a swing at me, Kid? No.
Of course not.
Then you shouldn't be swinging at your father, either.
l'm sorry.
Uncle John, what did he mean when he said you got even? Well you loved your mother, didn't you, Kid? Yeah, you know l did.
So did l.
A long time ago.
Your father and l, both did.
What? Yeah.
When we were about your age we both went after the same girl.
Your mother.
She was the most beautiful thing you ever saw.
And we were both crazy about her.
We both proposed, and she had to choose between us.
No way.
l don't believe she had the chance to choose you and she picks him.
[laughing.]
Oh, yes.
She chose your father for all the things he was and l wasn't.
Family-oriented secure in his job, and always there for her.
And when she died, that's when he started to drink.
Now, maybe you and l could help him find his way back.
l don't know.
You think about it.
Hey, B.
A.
, where's Hannibal? He went into the house.
Oh, well, l gotta talk to him right away.
Ludwig's paid off some drivers to go after Kid in the race.
(Murdock) Oh, mamma mia! [[[music playing.]
Mamma mia.
[moaning.]
What, Giancarlo ? Gee, l wish l knew what you were saying.
[speaking ltalian.]
But, then, who needs to talk, right, Giancarlo? [breathing hard.]
l was gonna ask you, Figoratti how you were doing, but l guess.
Are you okay? How you say, barfully, barful? [laughing.]
This man is very ''lose-his-cookies.
'' Why don't you take him up to the bathroom, all right? Come on, Giancarlo.
[gasping.]
Easy does it.
[in ltalian accent.]
How are you today? [groaning.]
Scusi.
Scusi.
Oh, Giancarlo, you okay? [groaning.]
[burps.]
Ah.
[in ltalian accent.]
Ah, is in safe.
[muttering in ltalian accent.]
[ And l should have painted my nails [[ Around, around she goes.
Where she stops, nobody knows but me.
That's it.
Yes, yes, this gonna be a Section 5.
Easy.
Let's see.
Figoratti, you okay, pal? Figoratti! [laughing.]
(woman) Oh, Giancarlo.
John, l wanna talk to you.
About what? l feel terrible about things.
Oh, don't worry.
Lots of things were said that nobody meant.
No, l don't mean that.
l called the military.
l wish there was something l could do to rectify it.
Well, the fact that you told me is enough.
Thanks, Jack.
Let's go, guys.
The only place you're going is to prison, Smith.
Decker, what a surprise.
l'll bet it is.
(Crane) Good work, Harmon.
l knew all those wanted posters l distributed on you had to pay off sooner or later, Smith.
l just never dreamed it would be one your friends who'd turn you in.
[imitating ltalian accent.]
Slowly.
Slowly.
Go! Go! Go! Go! l don't understand why he's late, Dana.
He should be here by now.
Why would Uncle John stand me up? He'll be here, honey.
You know how he's on the run.
He's got to be careful.
Yeah, but the race is about to begin.
l can't drive without B.
A.
and Uncle John.
Damn it! They let me down.
That not true, son.
l'm the one that let you down.
You're here, Dad.
After all those things l said about you l'm surprised you even bothered.
(announcer on PA) Attention, gentlemen, the five-minute board is up.
The car is running fine.
You give the spectators a whopping show.
Hmm? We'll talk later.
Good luck.
All right.
Do me luck.
Here goes nothing! [car engine revving.]
Go get them.
[engine starting.]
That's Kid Harmon in number 4.
You know what we gotta do.
Make him part of the wall.
He's a short runner.
All right, men.
We know from Jack Harmon the A-Team's been working with a fourth man.
So, be ready for an attempt to rescue Smith and the others.
Roger, Colonel.
(Murdock) Mamma mia.
[chattering ltalian-sounding gibberish.]
[in ltalian.]
What is this guy trying to tell us? Beats me.
Hey, what are you trying to tell us? [articulating.]
Why did you bring us here? [stammering.]
Carl Ludwig.
How you say? He's got a problem.
Famiglia, famiglia fighting.
Famiglia what? Who's fighting? His family's fighting.
Somebody's fighting with his family! Carl Ludwig he's no good friends with Al Capone.
Capisce? Al Capone? l think he means it a hit on the Ludwigs.
Hey, maybe somebody's trying to get to Carl ''The Hatchet'' by making a move on Kyle.
Pretending to be the military.
lt's a good cover.
Carl wants to do something about this.
[in ltalian.]
Thanks, Mr.
Figoratti.
We'll take care of this, don't worry.
Hello.
How are you today? Thank you very much.
Okay? Hello.
Thank you very much, okay? Come on.
Don't move.
Not one of you.
The A-Team accomplices are making their move.
Roll them out.
(Face and Hannibal) [ You are my sunshine [ [ My only sunshine [ [ You make me happy [[ [bell clanging.]
[ Oh, l found a cow [ [mooing.]
[ Under my shoe [ [ l found a cow, how about you? [ [ l found a cow [[ [[[scatting.]
[mooing.]
Come on, girl.
Come on, right here, right here.
Come on.
Yeah.
Take it easy.
There you go.
Take it easy, Bessie.
Take it easy.
Think of how your milk's gonna make all those boys and girls nice and healthy and strong, and just think of how proud B.
A.
is going to be of you.
God, this is a terrible road.
Why'd we have to come this way? lt's the only other way back to the interstate.
(soldier #1) What's this? [[[singing.]
Hey, Pops, you wanna do that someplace else? We're in a hurry here.
Hey, you from the city, boy? Well, yeah What's that got to do with moving the cow? Well, l thought as much, 'cause lf you spent any time on a farm you'd know that when a lady like Bessie here wants to give milk [laughing.]
she gives milk.
Aw, take a little bit more.
Yeah.
Hey, Hank, you wanna give us a hand here? Yeah! Hey, Hank! Hey, Hank, come on down here and give us a hand.
'Cause they ain't gonna be no good.
You gonna need more hands than you got, boy.
Here, let me take that for you.
[cow mooing.]
(Murdock) Yeah.
Keep on pushing.
As my daddy sang in that old song.
[ Keep on pushing [[ Keep on pushing, boys.
Let's go.
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
This is your captain, once again taking you under my wing by keeping you close to my heart, which is where you belong.
This is Crane.
Over.
What's going on? [imitating foreign accent.]
Hello, Wilbur.
Wilbur? Who is this? So you are looking for the A-Team? You're out of luck, Wilbur! The A-Team? What about the A-Team? Colonel.
Captain? The A-Team has escaped.
Escaped? Yes, sir.
How? Who's responsible? But l know how Smith thinks, Captain.
He won't leave this area till his business with Kid Harmon is finished.
You can count on it.
Let's move out.
(announcer on PA) Katz in 01 is all over Kid Harmon down the back straight.
Jones in the 16 car is smoking under-braking into the turns.
He could be looking at a black flag soon.
How's it going, Jack? Yeah, well.
John? What are you doing here? We'll talk later.
But Colonel Decker will be here looking for you.
Hmm.
l'd be disappointed if he wasn't.
That's one of Ludwig's men over there.
We're in position, Colonel.
Okay, good.
Number 16 is throwing a little smoke now.
You guys be sure our boy gets a fair race.
Okay.
[engine roaring.]
[shouting over noise.]
Jones, Jones, you got a telephone call! Dwight Eisenhower on line 4.
What? Your sister had her kidneys.
[talking gibberish.]
What about my sister? lt dropped! l sure hope his sister's kidney turns out all right.
Poor thing.
We're gonna have to remember to send her a get-well card.
What do you think? You don't think anything.
Hey, who the heck are you? Don't worry about anything.
Jones had an emergency.
This is his twin brother.
Don't you say anything, don't you say one thing.
Jones at number 16 is back in the competition.
Attaboy, B.
A.
, attaboy.
Get on it now.
(Face on radio) All right, 01, you want to get 01 he's right ahead of you.
There you go.
Dad, they're trying to run him off the track.
l know it.
(Hannibal) Now, Dana, relax.
We got a little plan.
Okay, B.
A.
Give that powder puff a little jolt of adrenalin.
You got it.
(announcer on PA) Katz in 01 is cartwheeling through the infield.
Attaboy, B.
A.
, attaboy.
Way to go.
Katz is out of the car.
He's shaken, but walking under his own power.
.
All right, now take care of the other slime balls.
(B.
A.
) I'm on it.
Uh-oh.
Better hurry it up, Hannibal.
Looks like Decker's got a surprise party for us.
Well, things are getting interesting.
(Jack) You gotta get out of here.
He's going to come and pick you up and you know that.
Relax, Jack, we got plenty of time.
Enjoy the end of the race.
Here they come.
lf the A-Team's inside these walls, they'd better not escape.
You two, take those bleachers Captain, take the men and look those bleachers over.
Disperse! (announcer on PA) The 16 car's up on Szollosi in 95.
It's getting mean out there.
The Kid has closed on Ludwig.
He's alongside.
He's nosing him on the inside and he triumphs at the flag.
[all cheering.]
All right! All right! Come on.
Come on! [crowd cheering.]
You win nothing.
You get out of my way, old man.
[groans.]
l should have done that a long time ago.
What a happy day, huh? [tires screeching.]
There they go! l love it when a plan comes together.
[all cheering.]
All right! Check it out! [cheering.]
Can you believe it? lsn't this the biggest thing you've ever seen? (Hannibal) lndeed.
lt is great, man.
Well, we'll just have to build an addition to the house just to keep it in.
We'll have to build that addition to the house just to put all our kids in.
Let me get through this one first, okay? Okay.
Uncle John, l don't know how we can thank you enough for all that you, and Face, B.
A.
, and Murdock did.
Oh, it's nothing, Dana.
You know, the thing l don't understand is how did Colonel Decker ever find out that you were here? Oh, well Decker may be obnoxious, but he's very determined.
Listen, son, there's something you ought to know about that.
Yes, your father promised me that he would personally ask around quietly and find out exactly what happened, like the good friend he is.
And a good friend l'll always be.
Well, we better get going, huh? [in ltalian accent.]
Si, si.
We hate to go but we got to fly back to Rome where our families are awaiting the traditional grape harvest.
That's right, Murdock.
You remember? And we don't wanna be late.
And l especially like the part where we get to stomp the grapes.
And we keep on stomping them, all day long.
(Murdock) You don't have to get so riled up! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!