The Sopranos s04e08 Episode Script

Here, I made it with a lot of milk and sugar.
It's more comforting that way.
You sure you don't want some eggs or an English or something? You're coming back? I hope so.
Immigration, they make problems.
Maybe Tony can help with that.
Yeah.
What are you doing here? I thought you were flying out to Naples.
I just dropped off these shirts from Patsy's guy.
But you should be on your way to see your old man.
Cancer is everywhere in his body.
Cancer don't respect nothing.
- You know, it started in his guts.
- Do you need any money? I'm good.
Please call and let us know.
I'm sorry, Tony.
You'll have to get somebody else to drive you tonight.
Not a problem.
Go.
You think he wears a bag? Who wears what? You know, a colostomy bag.
- Furio's old man.
- How the fuck would I know that? Because my ma, maybe, maybe not, has to get one.
Could we not talk about this? We could talk about any topic you like, T.
Good.
It's just that now with Ma all squared away to go to Green Grove For fuck's sake, Paulie, everybody's gonna get old and die.
- Am I driving you tomorrow, too? - No, I'll drive myself.
I got nothing else to do.
I got a very important meeting, that's all.
It's a delicate situation.
We lucked out with the weather.
So, how's the life of leisure? Playing golf, ain't I? Cocksucker.
Seriously, it's good you're pulling back business-wise like we agreed.
My nephew, I told him.
I'm gonna be speaking through him, and only through him, as time passes.
- Good.
- Plus Sil.
I don't want to celebrate my daughter's first kid in prison.
All right, this sit-down in Perth Amboy.
Get a pen and paper.
Hold on.
I can't find a piece of paper.
Shoot.
Tell Paulie to let Patsy run the car operation while Furio's gone.
Tel Patsy he's got to kick up 10 points.
Seven and a half to me, two and half to Paulie.
Got it.
You and Sil, you figure out who pays the Longshore Union how much.
I'll back you up whichever.
What the fuck? - I'm on it.
- All right.
- A simple yes or no will do.
- Please.
- Artie, hi, how are things? - Fine.
Did they ever catch those muggers? Did you leave room for dessert? We'll have one zabaglione and four spoons.
Coffees, all around.
Bri', can I ask you a financial-related question? The last thing the guy wants to do is talk shop.
Ask him anything you want.
It's all he likes to talk about.
It's no big thing.
Any ideas on what Tony and I should do with the proceeds from the property in Newark we sold? - A HUD? - What? Kid loves Paul Newman movies.
No more grappa for you.
You know what I'm talking about.
Uncle Junior's lot on Frelinghuysen Avenue.
Yeah, that.
It all went into the trust.
T- bills, I was able to lock you in before the rates dropped.
What doesn't this kid know about money? You know, I trust him 1,000 percent? Thank you.
- We have so many more of the newborn size.
- I think they're cheaper.
Next year we could put a notice in the bulletin that people whose last names begin with "A" to "K" bring the newborns and "L" to "Z" bring the bigger ones, or vice versa.
Whatever we give them, the girls at our ladies' shelter should be grateful.
I mean, nobody told them to go and have babies without husbands.
I remember his charity toward my family when Jack died.
I didn't know how to pay the phone bill.
Jackie always did everything.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
I pay bills but other than that, it's the same with Tony.
Try to find out where the money is how much we have, and I get such resistance.
I didn't know what we had until after I buried Jackie.
Was it enough? Sort of.
Not really.
How much is enough, anyway? I don't know, that's my point.
Doesn't anything ever change? Women are supposed to be partners nowadays.
I'm not a feminist, I'm not saying 50-50, but Jesus.
You know, I put up with cumare shit.
Pardon my French.
I made my peace with it, best I could, anyway.
Isn't your cousin Brian handling your money now? The big things, the investments.
He's doing well, too.
You know, I do have to give Tony credit there.
He did meet me halfway with that, God bless him.
Which was a very big step for him, I know.
- Maybe you have nothing to worry about.
- I don't know.
Tony pulls people into his circle.
I don't know what to think.
Good girl.
Titanium? The track's freezing up, it's too hard for aluminum.
Whatever she's got on those feet, she's a winner.
A little colicky? You don't feel good, baby girl? You bad girl.
Fuck this horse-whispering shit.
What is this costing us? Tony, Valentina.
She works in an art gallery.
Helping me to enlarge my collection.
And this, my chiquita banana, is Pie-O-My.
She's beautiful.
There's no stopping this horse.
She's gonna go all the way to the Breeders'.
We'll do the two geldings next.
Hon, can you come here a sec? I think I have something in my eye.
Let Dr.
Ralphie have a look.
- I don't see anything.
- Maybe you need more light.
What the fuck? - I can't believe you did this to me.
- It was a joke, hon.
There's nothing funny about it.
There is from where I'm standing.
Besides, it's good luck.
- What? - It's good luck to step in horseshit.
- Ask any horse person.
- It's true.
Then why aren't you people walking around looking for piles of horseshit to stomp around in? - It only works if it's an accident.
- Fucking sick, all of you.
Fucko, where's a hose? You know, it can be risky trusting him to have a sense of humor.
Did you think it was funny? Yeah, but what I think is funny is what an 8-year-old boy thinks is funny.
Having any fun yourself? What, you taking a survey? - Have any interest in art? - Show the right thing, I do.
There's an artist down in New Hope, specializes in horses.
Give him a photo of your horse, he paints a lovely portrait.
It'd look great in your office.
Have a look at my office before you make that call.
Think about it.
If you're interested, give me a call.
"La Paz.
" What's that, Puerto Rican? Cubana.
My mother was Italian, my father Cuban.
What a dangerous combination.
She gorgeous or what? Sweet as sugar.
If there's anything you need, you just press this button.
- Which one? - This one that I'm showing you.
Safety first.
A friend of yours, Mrs.
Cirillo, might stop by.
She wanted to see you before you went down for lunch.
Cookie.
Look, just like home.
They're gonna wait on you hand and foot around here.
Put the boxes in the closet.
And go get the TV.
The both of you carry it.
Come on, cowgirl.
Let's go down to the chuck wagon and see what they're rustling up.
- Paulie, did they bring my bathmat? - For the fifth time, Ma, yes.
Look who's here to make you feel at home.
- Are you here, too? - Not yet, but it's all paid for.
I'm gonna move in after my hip surgery.
Minn comes twice a week for lunch, in the meantime.
She's one of the girls.
Look how you've grown up, Paulie.
I know.
I don't understand.
When I was a kid, you two were old ladies.
Now I'm old, and you two are still old.
So, how's Chucky doing, anyway? Still teaching? He's been the high-school principal for the last 10 years or so.
Bergen North.
- He must give you a lot of happiness.
- Except for that wife of his.
- All you ever been was nice to her.
- I know that.
- Come on, girls, I'll take you to lunch.
- I got to use the WC.
She just went 10 minutes ago.
I don't want to embarrass your mother in the dining room.
So make sure she knows she can't sit with me and Minn, and our other girls.
- What are you talking about? - We're a set group.
We eat together, we play Scrabble for money and there's really no room at either table.
Come on now, Cook.
I know you girls can work it out.
- Fucking amazing.
- This is how simple it is to change inputs.
Listen to that imaging in stereo mode.
It's like Clapton's sitting right there at your house.
Great, huh? We can all watch movies as a family now.
And listen to that.
I think it's great.
I'm going food shopping.
Maybe I'll get In the Bedroom.
- What time you want me to wake you up? - The movie.
Yeah.
Good.
Have fun.
- Helo? - Mr.
Wal, please.
- Yeah, can you talk? - Yeah, I'm on a hotel phone.
So, how are you? What's going on? I found him, Chuck.
I found the man who kiled Helen.
- What? - It was me they were after.
Who are they? Devlin MacGregor and Lentz.
Lentz was supervising the protocol for RDU-90.
He knew I found out it was causing liver damage.
It was Lentz.
Lentz is dead.
What? How? He died in a car accident last summer.
Can you prove this about the drug? Yeah, I think so.
I need your help, Chuck.
Cal Bones at the hospital.
Tel him to give me whatever help I need.
Beautiful looking animal.
Great definition, carriage.
- I'd love to paint her.
- Good.
But what about this deadbeat? There's no problem cropping you both out.
We could set her in front of the rail at the track as she is.
Or if you'd prefer something more pastoral, we can place her in a meadow.
I don't know about that, but can you leave me in there and just crop him out? Easy.
And frankly, it would be better, composition-wise.
Go for the pastoral, much more dignified.
And it comes framed? Exactly as you see that one.
$6,500.
All right, you got a deal.
- To Pie-O-Mine.
- My.
- Your what? - No, the name, it's Pie-O-My.
I'll give you the whole thing now.
There.
I'd better get your receipt.
I'll just be a minute.
Let's not forget to drink to the beautiful señorita whose idea this was in the first place.
- I bet you say that to all the girls.
- There's not that many.
And truthfully, the ones that there are, they don't got many ideas.
We should probably start heading back soon.
Yeah.
If you want, on the way, we can stop and eat something.
Yeah, we could definitely stop.
- Like that.
- So good.
- Just like that.
- Yeah, that's so good.
Let me up.
You can see cows from in there.
Sit down and eat before it gets any colder.
- Looks good, doesn't it? - Mine needed salt.
Jesus fucking Christ, these fucking hicks can't even get this right.
You did this? That's very mature.
It's not funny.
I thought you had an 8-year-old's sense of humor.
Come here and give me a kiss.
I'm eating.
Not anymore, you're not.
What if I promise to be good? How good? Good.
Shit, I lost a nail.
We will not be mentioning anything about any of this to Ralph.
I'll take it.
Can you send it to this person here? Sure.
You want to include a card with this? Let me have another one.
Round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows.
Place your bets, be a winner.
- I'll take another card.
- Are you sure, dear? For the love of God, Nucci, how could you hit on 18? Give me another one.
That should've been my card! I could've had 21.
I was hoping for a three.
I'm not sure you understand the fine points.
Maybe you ought to play roulette.
It's right over there.
Round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows.
Goddamn it, Tony! You did that to me on our honeymoon.
I didn't like it then, and I made you promise me you'd never do it again.
- It's just a little cold water.
- It's really unpleasant.
Do you remember promising me? - You can do it back to me.
- I don't want to do it back to you.
- Why not? It's fun.
- Do you remember promising me? - Yeah, so what? - So This is one promise I would like you to keep.
Whatever.
This can't be Paulie.
Chucky? Come here, you pizza-face-son-of-a-son-of-a-gun you.
Oh, God.
Mr.
Van Kowenberg, what did we say about those shoes? The laces are in my locker, I was gonna get them after study hall.
Get them now.
Come on, Paulie.
Hard to believe it's been so long.
This is for you.
That's a nice gesture, Paul, but I really can't.
Go on, I got lots of them.
You can't insult me.
- No more glasses? - I had the Lasik.
- And your face cleared up pretty good, too? - Cleared up in 10th grade.
See, there you go.
Ninth was my last.
So, did your mom tell you I saw her over at Green Grove? Apparently, she sees quite a bit of your mother.
That's just it, Chucky.
They're both residents.
But there seems to be an exclusion.
I don't blame your mother.
I blame that Minn Matrone.
She's a malignant cunt.
Excuse me for saying so.
She eggs your mother on, and she don't even live there.
I'm not sure I understand.
I'm just asking you to talk to your ma.
See if she can include my ma more with the group.
It won't do much good.
Now, you know how these old gals are.
All I'm trying to do is pay my ma back for when I was a kid and got into so much trouble.
She went to bat for me how many times? With the nuns.
With the store owners up and down And let's face it, Chucky, with the cops.
For all the bad I did.
I'm still capable if I don't watch myself.
But with all of that, she always had my back.
I'll talk to my ma, see what she says.
But like I said - Whatever you can do.
- All right.
Take care.
Ale was always served in pints and quarts.
So, "Mind your p's and q's," means "Watch your alcohol consumption.
" I'll be right back.
Holy cow.
So there's an origin for everything.
- What's up? - A little business.
- Like what? - Why? You want to hear this? We decided to give a bigger percentage to the union guys than the customs guys.
You're shitting me, right? That's what you guys came up with? Everybody seemed pleased.
Damn it, now I'll have to go down there and do a go-see with everybody, from the harbormaster on down which is exactly what I was trying to avoid.
You want it renegotiated, that's what we'll do.
Don't make me go down to Perth Amboy.
I'm trying to free myself up to do a little global thinking.
Right.
- So, girls, what's it gonna be? - I'll have what I always have.
Chicken Mario? 15 years of Chicken Mario.
Can't you try the veal chop or something? Why are you giving me a hard time? I like the chicken.
- Hello, beautiful people.
- Look who it is.
Hi, how are you? - Remember Valentina? - Yeah, nice to see you again.
Yeah, same here.
You the one who pulled that horseshit stunt? We're gonna have some steaks.
- Maybe I'll have a steak.
- You don't need a steak.
- I know I don't need a steak.
- Do me a favor.
Don't fuck with the salt shaker.
- You like the sole? - The scampi for me.
I don't know, give me Come on, you're getting anorexic.
I'm gonna make a call.
Okay? You're wasting away.
Come on, what are you gonna do? Here.
- No, you keep it.
- I don't want your consolation prize.
I bet you have a standing order at the jewelry store.
- I gotta be getting back to my table.
- What, to the blonde out there? Does she fuck you better than me? Suck your dick better than me? Come on.
Really, Tony, just tell me.
How come I can't see you again? - Because you fuck Ralph.
- You got morals all of a sudden? I don't know about morals, but I do got rules.
Some dago macho bullshit about "Don't fuck your friend's girlfriend"? Yeah, that.
- But not just that.
- Then what? Look, that day in the countryside, that was - It was great.
- Did I do something wrong? I'll fix it.
No, you can't fix the shit I'm talking about.
I don't wanna be where Ralph Cifaretto has been.
You prick! A one-time thing is one thing, but to get into a relationship I gotta get back to my dinner.
You don't know anything.
Let me tell you what's really going on.
He doesn't fuck me.
I swear to God, he's some kind of freak or something.
- You two don't have sex? - No.
- Sort of yeah, but not - All right, have a nice life.
Go ahead.
You go back first.
I'll wait a minute.
We shouldn't go back together.
- Everything come out all right? - Yeah.
- It's me, Valentina.
- You got no reason to be calling me.
I have to tell you everything.
I mean, I didn't want to tell you before, because it's just so embarrassing.
Where are you? - I'm at Ralph's.
- Oh, Christ! No, it's okay.
He left.
Ralph does not have sex like other people, regular people.
It's all some kind of kinky shit.
Believe me, I am not hung-up.
I've done a lot.
I've done girls I've done threesomes, and I've done - With him? - No, Tony, please, just listen.
Ralph is loco.
For real, okay? He just makes me do stuff, not realy even sexual.
Like last night I just wanted him to fuck me, just so I can get back at you.
But all he wanted me to do was drip candle wax on his balls then he went into the bathroom and jerked himself off.
Now, I don't call that having sex with someone.
Oh, Jesus H.
Christ.
Last week, I swear to God he told me to rub his dick raw with a cheese grater.
- Get the fuck out of here.
- I wouldn't do it! I told him to fuck off.
My accountant is here.
- Wil you cal me? - I gotta go.
Mozzarella? Let me ask you a question.
You think Ralph's a little weird about women? I don't know, Ton'.
I mean, he beat one to death just for I forget.
What was it again? - Maybe you're feeling guilty.
- I don't see that.
Why would I? Because he's a friend of yours, and you're cuckolding him.
Cuckolding is when a man has an affair with another's wife.
She's not his wife anyway.
She's his cumare.
- And therefore has no status whatever.
- Cumares have status.
I mean, it's not like in the old days, when a man had a wife and then sort of a second wife.
Used to be the men would take out their wives on Fridays and their cumares on Saturdays.
Or maybe it's the other way around.
Anyway, when I came up, it wasn't so formal.
Business associate of mine's got two full families.
One up here, one down in Sea Girt.
And his second wife busts his balls identical to the first.
Sounds like a complicated arrangement.
- I'm afraid our time is up.
- Just give me another minute.
- I have a patient waiting.
- Well, let him wait.
You make me wait out there all the time.
I just wanna ask you if it's possible for a man to go out with a woman without really doing anything with them.
- You'll have to be more specific.
- He likes them to hurt him.
And that's it.
And then he goes and he takes care of himself, his own needs.
He sounds like a textbook masochist.
- Like S & M? - The "M" part, yes.
I thought all that stuff was just like a run-up to the act.
That's the case for many people.
But not for people with paraphilias.
For them, receiving pain, being humiliated becomes, in and of itself, the sexual release.
Like many other things, we believe it's rooted in childhood.
- We can continue this next week.
- Just one more second.
I received regular beatings when I was a kid but I'm not going around looking for some woman to hook up jumper cables to my private parts.
It's not a simple one-to-one.
More than likely, he had a controlling and punishing mother.
She loved him, but showed it only in connection with some sort of violent or abusive act.
Is everything about everybody really about their mothers? All right, back to the other thing.
For a guy like that, he's going out with a woman he could technically not have penisary contact with her vulva.
It sounds like you're asking me for personal information I really can't give you.
Good morning, Pickwick Framing.
Hello? It's so heartbreaking to hear those women talk about what they were going through and what they are going through.
The second woman, Joan, her case is realy not very unusual.
Her husband was the financial planner.
She realy did not have much involvement in the finances at the home.
What are your thoughts on that? Women tend to have the feeling that they're not confident.
Men tend to be overconfident, actualy, in the financial area.
And women have to take responsibility, and have to accept the fact that something like this We don't need no We don't need no thought control You have to have a contingency plan if your husband doesn't come home to take care of the finances.
You gotta get up, Ma.
You can't lie there day and night.
I wanna go home.
There is no more home, Ma.
We sold it.
You know that.
They keep making me eat all alone.
That's that Cookie and Minn.
I tried to be so nice.
I bought Cookie a card from the gift shop downstairs.
I cared enough, and I sent the very best.
Don't you worry, Ma.
I'm gonna talk to this social director.
She's the one to straighten this all out.
But in the meantime, maybe you can make new friends.
But you gotta get up out of bed.
At least sit up.
No.
Friggitoria Fiorenzano in my opinion, this is probably one of the closest things we'I find in Naples to what you realy should open.
It's an al- day snack shop, pizzeria friggitoria and rosticceria.
Roast shop, fry shop, pizza shop.
Here are four examples of the classic Neapolitan pride.
It's in a light batter, fried til very crisp.
We've got those zucchini flowers, you recognize those? We're bringing her back to the track in two weeks.
Lois says she's ready to race.
- Thanks.
- Thanks, hon.
I like my drink with extra olives.
You should know how your regular customers like their drinks.
My regular customers are the ones who pay.
I'll get you your olives.
What do you have to give her shit for? She likes it, it's banter.
I don't think she likes it, or you.
I don't give a flying fuck, my brother, what any little slit thinks of me.
Does that include What's her name? - Who? - You brought her to the stables.
Valentina.
Her especially.
And her, I'm crazy about.
I'm telling you, this broad knows things.
I've never been fucked so long or so good.
I may have to marry her.
These enough? You know, no reason to be snotty.
My dear departed mother used to say: "You catch more flies with honey "than you can with vinegar.
" Well, mine always told me not to let myself be talked down to by losers.
She said you can tell everything about a man by the way he treats women.
- You ever think about your mother? - She's dead.
You two didn't get along very well, right? She had her demanding ways.
- When you were a kid, did she ever - No, I gotta go.
The Mambo Queen awaits.
I'm sorry your mom's having a difficult adjustment period.
- Sit.
- It's not her.
It's the rest of them.
They single her out.
Sometimes I think this place is like high school with wheelchairs.
Tell your mother to be patient.
Things will settle down.
All right, I'll talk to her again.
But what the hell are you gonna do for us? - What we pay here.
- I'm speaking from years of experience.
Your mom's going to have to learn to accept responsibility for her own behavior.
Like what? Go ahead.
For one thing, she cries a lot.
She's always in tears.
At Mass, in the exercise room, at music appreciation.
- She's got a big heart.
- Let me finish.
She doesn't always put her teeth in.
The girls don't like that.
- This is not good.
- Right.
Also, she's a tattletale.
She tells on the other girls for the slightest infraction.
She's just not very adept at making friends.
She's gonna have to make more of an effort.
You might want to talk to her about this.
Hey, Conny Contino ever get those washing machines? I don't understand.
You want to know this shit? 'Cause you go back on everything Sil and me get settled.
I don't got a right to be concerned? Hold on.
- Go.
- Long time no see.
- Is this you? - I am me.
- I've been busy, you know.
- Then I forgive you.
When can I see you? I've got something to tell you.
Look, I told you the situation.
Come on, Tony.
Just for a coffee or a drink or something.
All right, you know the Coach House on Route 21 in Passaic? No, but I can find it.
- Can you be there by noon? - Nothing could keep me away.
All right, I'll see you there.
All right, I want to see you and Sil this afternoon.
Fuck.
So sorry I'm late.
I had to make up this whole thing at work.
- It's all right.
- What can I get for you? Evian, whatever.
So, I'm here.
What's this big thing you have to tell me? I broke up with Ralph.
- When? - Last night.
I just couldn't take it.
- He brought out this leather mask with this - All right.
This means we can be together.
Look, Valentina, I'm I'm a married man.
I'm a happily married man with two kids.
I just wanna see you sometimes.
A couple nights a week.
I'm not gonna say I love you.
I always say that too soon to guys, and I'm trying to work on that, but I really like you.
I like you, too, honey, but it's not gonna happen.
Why? Why not? For one thing, I already took his horse.
$9,900.
Interestingly, at $10,000 we're required by law to notify the IRS of the transaction.
Really? I want it in something safe.
Something old economy, maybe treasuries.
Don't you knock? Listen, Jan, can we shut this off a minute? I got something I gotta ask you.
Sure.
It's a little awkward.
It's about Ralph.
- That scumbag? - Yeah, well I'm trying to find out about his sex life.
- And who would know better? - He would.
- Ask him.
- I can't.
I can only ask you.
I mean, is he weird about sex? - Why you interested in this? - I got my reasons.
Managerial.
You know, like the army, it's got policies about this shit, on account of combat.
I have to tell you, I'm finding this entire conversation insulting.
Here we go.
You're asking me to betray confidences.
I mean, no matter what either one of us think of the guy $3,000.
How'd you come up with that figure? It's a number that I thought you'd say yes to.
You thought right.
So, what have you heard? You pay me $3,000, I'll answer your questions.
He bottoms from the top.
I don't even know what that means.
It means he has to control things, but he pretends he doesn't.
Like, he'd make me fuck him with a strap-on and call him my bitch, shit like that.
- What about plain old fucking? - I'm telling you.
He can't get hard that way.
And if he could, I don't think that he'd want to.
I couldn't believe it when you called.
I was so happy.
I'm feeling pretty happy myself.
Why the big change of heart? Well, I was never hesitating 'cause of you.
I just had to get my head into a place where I felt that I could really commit, you know.
To lavish all the care on you that you should have.
I don't see why I have to do anything I don't want to.
This is Green Grove.
Here the senior citizen is king and queen.
I know, but they told Charles that this was just a warning.
These people don't fool around.
You're afraid of them.
Of course he is, and so am I.
This is a stupid thing for your son to get hurt over.
I didn't live for 84 years to have to be nice to somebody I don't like! Haven't I earned that right? Ma, I'm gonna have to say this.
If you can't get into the spirit of this thing then we'll have to let you live in a different home.
The Salvation Army has one in Irvington that's supposed to be perfectly fine.
Coffee, Ton'? Got any decaf? - No, forget it, regular's fine.
- Well, I can make decaf.
Yeah, that'd be great, thanks.
Something wrong, Tony? No.
Why? You out in the backyard the last couple a days? Me? It's freezing out there.
You sure? The pool guy come around? - Why would he? - Check up on stuff? Something? All right, I'm going upstairs.
It'll only take a minute.
You sure, Tony, there's not something you wanna talk about? No.
Like what?