The West Wing s04e08 Episode Script
Process Stories
Previously on The West Wing: Last week, I went to see a guy named Will Bailey.
He ran Horton Wilde's campaign in Orange County.
His widow wanted to know what Democrat was gonna stand in for her husband should he win.
- And I said - You're kidding.
Something weird's going on.
We're winning.
We've got news.
- What? - You're gonna win New Hampshire.
CBS is ready to declare Delaware, with its three electoral votes for President Bartlet.
Horton Wilde, who's dead, is losing by 88 votes.
Plus, there was an actual storm.
We're gonna be up all night with these.
It's gonna be fun.
God bless you all.
God bless the United States of America.
And we still have, I wanna remind our viewers three House races undecided, as we've been reporting.
Those would be Tennessee 2nd, the New York 22nd and the race that's been dubbed "Lazarus 47" in some circles the race for California 's 47th Congressional District between the six-term incumbent, Republican Chuck Webb and Democrat Horton Wilde, who passed away some three weeks ago but whose name remains on the ballot.
George, which is stranger that a Democrat is competitive in Orange County or that the Democrat in question is I don 't mean to make light of this of course, but the candidate passed away.
They're both pretty strange, Julie but for a Democrat to win in the 47th he's going to have to have something going for him, and this was it.
Martin, how important were the candidates ' performances in the debate? I'll tell you.
The day before the debate, the president held a three-point lead.
That's within the margin of error, a statistical tie.
Among those who were undecided seventy-three percent made up their mind based on the debates and 69 percent of that population went for the president.
-That's how the president won.
-That's how the president won.
-Absolutely.
-What is Governor Ritchie thinking? He said What he said was this, he said: "A probable impossibility is preferable to an improbable possibility.
" The impossible is preferable to the improbable.
What did he mean? He meant it's okay to sing and dance but you shouldn't turn on the radio, hear the news report.
- You want some cake? - No.
You sure? - What kind? - Cake.
- They have flavors.
- I don't know.
It was a confluence of events.
If you pitched it to a Hollywood producer, they'd tell you that Aristotle says: "A probable impossibility is preferable to an improbable possibility.
" Doesn't sound like them, but I understand.
Midwest, the RNC exits a dead candidate, a rainstorm.
- It's Aristotle all over the place.
- I'm gonna turn these off.
Head down to the party.
Everyone's asking for you.
- You really don't know what kind of? - It's cake.
It's cake.
When I talked to the woman she had tears in her voice.
Her husband loved the president.
Admired his integrity.
Yes, we're big on integrity.
By the way, when I said I'd run in his place, it's not like I meant it.
Let's go to the party.
There are TVs everywhere.
You'll know as soon as they're ready to report something from the 47th.
You're right.
You're right.
House race in California 47th, where the impossible seems to be happening.
And we send it to Gail Mackee, who 's standing by in Newport Beach.
Gail? Julie, I'm at the Hyatt in Newport Beach with the Horton Wilde campaign, and the place is going absolutely berserk.
Bonnie, Ginger, get me Will Bailey, get me Kay Wilde.
Very quickly, please.
just received a phone call from Congressman Chuck Webb.
He's conceding, thanking Mrs.
Wilde for a well-fought campaign Get Will Bailey.
Please.
Get him.
and looking forward He says he looks forward to running in a special election.
Is there any word on who the Democrats might run in the special election? - Get him! Gotta get him! -No, there isn 't, not yet.
But I can report a rumor that's been making its way around.
Of course you can.
Why not? Former Orange County resident and current White House Senior Adviser Sam Seaborn will seek the seat.
And the plot thickens.
Sam Seaborn, of course an architect of the president's first victory as well as his, I think we have to start calling it a landslide tonight.
- They're talking about someone else.
-We've got a picture to throw on-screen.
Julie, I have to interrupt Yeah.
Okay.
Anyone know where Toby and Josh and C.
J.
are? Hey! Toby, Josh, C.
J.
, has anyone? They're over in the thing.
California 47th the same way the Democrats view the New York 16th.
-They see it as unlosable.
- Hi.
The Democrats have not only never won the 47th they've never even been a factor.
So who is this Sam Seaborn? He's an integral part of the president's circle since joining the Bartlet campaign after years at a New York law firm Gage Whitney Pace.
-A graduate of Princeton - Sam Donaldson from ABC Nightly News.
He'd like to know if the president is endorsing Sam.
Toby, is the president endorsing Sam? Is the president endorsing Sam? I don't know.
He's asleep, but let's go ask him.
All right.
All right, look this is extremely easy to explain.
First of all Okay, how familiar are the three of you with Aristotle? - You agreed to run? - I said it for the widow.
She wanted a name for election night and I said,"Use my name" not thinking it was a practical option.
Can I ask, is your office now the House of the Rising Sun? Yes.
- You did it for the widow? - Yes.
And for a guy named Will Bailey who ran the campaign and worked his ass off.
Never backed off and navigated a dead Democrat to a win against Chuck Webb.
Five hundred races tonight, that was impressive.
Though it was an Aristotelian confluence of events that could only happen to me.
- I have to talk to the widow.
- I'd talk to the president first.
- Really? - He'll get it in the morning.
There's a seat in play.
He's gonna be asked about it.
He can't say: "I have no earthly idea what you're talking about.
" Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I don't want to intimidate you but I'm the first Democrat in 20 years to make a clean sweep of the Plains states.
And I'm not just talking about lowa and Nebraska.
- Are you trying to turn me on now? - Yeah.
All right.
I won the Dakotas.
The Badlands.
The Black Hills.
But let's go down, way down to the deep South the humid bayou of Louisiana and its nine electoral votes.
What manner of man it must take to win the state.
Which, by the way is the only one operating under the Napoleonic Code of France.
I still don't know what that's all about, but back to me.
Hon, this is like nerd hot talk.
Who's your commander in chief? - You are.
- Yes.
And do the ladies like him? Oh, yes to the tune of 58 percent.
Yeah? I'm sorry, sir.
We had an understanding with regard to tonight and interruptions, Charlie.
I thought we were men.
Yes, I'm sorry, but Sam said - Sam needs to see me? - Yes, sir.
- It's, what, 1 in the morning? - Yes, sir.
Well, let's send him in.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- Good to see you.
- I hope I'm not here at a bad time.
- No.
What would make you say that? I couldn't have picked a worse time.
You could have, and I'm not gonna take any chances, so let's do it now.
- Horton Wilde won in the 47th.
- I know.
There will be a special election.
And, to make a long story short, you might be asked tomorrow if you're endorsing me.
- Am I? - Well, I'm not really running.
Then I'm behind you 100 percent.
- Look - Man, is everything all right? Yeah.
I made a promise to a widow in a moment - Hello, Mr.
President.
- Hey, Mrs.
Bartlet.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
Look, honey, Sam stopped by.
- Hi, Sam.
- Hi.
- Eyes front, mister.
- I'll take care of this in the next few hours.
You don't need to worry about it.
- You sure you're okay? - Yes, sir.
- Is this Dean Martin? - Yeah.
- Good.
- Thank you.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Could you keep trying Will Bailey, please? - Yeah.
- Congratulations.
- You, too, Tom.
And congratulations on the other thing there, Papa.
Yeah.
Any idea where Mama is? Right over there.
The great state of Maryland! Andy.
- Andy, don't drink the - It's ginger ale, crazy boy.
Ginger ale can be bad according to the latest studies.
It can be very My man got the president reelected tonight! That was very pleasant.
- Can I talk to you a second? - Yeah.
We won by 85 percent of the vote.
I don't understand the 15 percent, but what the hell.
Yeah, well, as long as you scraped by with a win.
Look, a statement.
- We've been through this.
-Roll Call has it, we have to deal with it.
- I don't.
- Congresswoman, are you pregnant? None of your business.
You can't withhold that.
Did you hear that the president has multiple sclerosis and never told anyone? Yes, there was a congressional investigation.
It almost detonated his presidency.
You're worried about me? I just won by 85 percent.
- I'm not worried about you.
- I know.
You're worried about a senior counselor fathering kids out of wedlock.
Single moms are more sympathetic than deadbeat dads, so I wouldn't gallivant.
- You're not a deadbeat dad.
- You and I know that.
But if I can't protect my kids, their mom and the president all at the same time, then I've gotta quit my job, so help me out.
- Yes.
- You'll make a statement? No, but when they ask me who the father is, I won't tell them.
I'm the father.
You're at your leisure to tell them that.
Eighty-five percent of what kind of backward population votes for this woman? The good people of Maryland.
- Maryland! - Maryland! Women.
Yes indeed, ma'am.
Fifty-eight percent.
But let's take a trip down Louisiana way where we find its nine electoral votes go to - Leo? - Yeah? If you walk me through every demographic I think the night's not gonna have the kind of happy ending you're hoping for.
Got it.
Good tip.
Keep them coming.
- Colonel.
- Yes, ma'am.
No.
Hey.
- How you doing? - Pretty good.
You got a second? Yeah.
There's gunfire in Caracas and Merida and Valencia.
There's movement in the Acuellar, Coroico Ciuadad Alto and Parado Negro bases.
- What about GV? They stopped broadcasting.
- Are you ready to brief? - Fifteen minutes.
Okay.
Can you hang around for a minute? There's about to be a coup in Venezuela.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Bartlet seemed to rely heavily on his intellectual book smarts that some experts believe to be off-putting to many Americans.
Did you think that the president ran too smart? We never advised him to hide his intelligence, especially during debates Hey, with the singing.
because that's what made him stand out as a candidate.
Walk us through the tea leaves.
What were the indicators for you? High gas prices and instability in the Gulf region.
And so we recommended that he make energy a hot topic for the campaign.
And obviously a winning strategy.
People say this is a president who more than anyone since Truman, ran his own campaign.
Is that true? Yeah.
We all give advice but this president calls his own shots.
- Does anyone know who this is? - I think he won the election.
- It sounds like he did well.
- I think that's Chris Whitaker.
- It is.
- He's a pollster.
He's a pollster that Bruno contracted out of Illinois.
Excuse me.
Don't break things.
You realize you won all the Plains states but the Dakotas? We won the Dakotas.
I didn't even realize that.
Yeah, we won the Dakotas tonight.
The Badlands.
- Bruno? - Sitting Bull was buried Yeah.
Hello.
Excuse me.
This is Ashley, assistant to Jane Zalaznick at the Women's Leadership Coalition.
- C.
J.
- Nice to meet you.
- You got a second? Carloads of partygoers from the Women's Leadership Coalition and the Women's Action Network are unloading at the northwest executive entrance.
It is time for watermelon.
You know a guy named Chris Whitaker? - Widdle? - Whitaker.
- Witkenstein? - Are you drunk? - A little bit.
- Chris Whitaker.
Is a pollster I contracted for Cook County.
He was just on TV claiming credit for your energy strategy.
The energy strategy and who knows what else.
- Witkenstein? - Bruno! - What do I care? - You should talk to reporters.
- You're entitled to the status you earned.
- The only thing I need status for I'm doing right now.
- I'm watching this guy.
- You don't have to watch him.
- We owe you.
No, I got paid.
But thanks.
I'm gonna talk to Ashley.
- I'm gonna be watching this guy.
- I'm gonna be talking to Ashley.
Okay.
Donna.
You might wanna tell Josh that a few carloads of women - Yeah, he knows.
- Okay.
- Josh.
- Hang on.
People from the Women's Leadership Coalition just Yes, hello.
Hello.
It's a target-rich environment and I don't wanna cramp your style.
I wanted to stash my coat in your office.
- Sure.
- Come here.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
You owe me 10 dollars on the Delaware 1 st ten dollars on lowa 5th.
We pushed across the Mountain states I lost Arkansas and the Georgia Legislature but you went 20 on the Michigan gubernatorial.
How you doing on the night? I'm only up 90, but there's a waste disposal bond issue in Jasper, Alabama that's gonna put me in a new pair of Manolos.
So the guys at Lexington and Concord, they didn't die in vain.
- Yeah, no way.
- Wanna hear the funniest thing? A week ago, Sam told Horton Wilde's widow that he would run in his place.
- I know.
- You heard? - Yeah.
- All these events conspired to The DNC gave up, so the RNC left town, leaving no one to read the exits.
- Want me to open it? - I can do it.
The president won the Midwest.
There was depressed Republican turnout in the district because it was never a race, and - Will Bailey.
- I keep hearing that name.
- I helped him raise money.
For a dead candidate, of course you did.
Anyway, Sam's desperately trying to get a hold of the widow to have the worst conversation of his life.
He'll have to say He should do it.
That's what I came to tell you.
- What do you mean? - He should run.
He'll get killed.
But tomorrow, you'll face an angry minority who don't feel the president did enough to make them the majority.
Angry House Democrats, I'm shivering.
Hold my hand.
- I'm saying - The president's coattails elected a Democrat out of Orange County with literally no pulse.
- Any congressman complaining - Will be smoothed over Will be smoothed over if the president sends a top lieutenant still shining from victory, on a suicide mission to Disney's California Adventure.
- You're ahead 90 bucks? - And it's still very early.
All right, give me your coat.
What? I didn't say anything.
- Okay, your coat will be here.
- I'm gonna go collect money.
Enjoy.
I certainly Donna! - How did you know I was out there? - I felt you lurking.
I wanna try to find a guy named Will Bailey with the Wilde campaign in Newport Beach.
Yeah.
- Congratulations.
Way to go, Will.
- Thanks for your work.
- I don't know who you are.
- Will! - I'm going to sleep.
- Come back to the party! - I'm going to sleep.
- Now? - Any second.
- The greatest night of your life and you're gonna sleep? - Special reward.
There are all kinds of volunteers who wanna dance with you.
- And you know what that means.
- Dance? I think I do.
You ever gonna enjoy yourself? I beat Chuck Webb.
That was a pretty good time.
Yes, you did.
I'm so proud that you're my brother.
Me too.
I mean, me too.
You know what I mean.
You sure you don't wanna come back? - I can't stand up anymore.
- Okay.
- Sleep well.
- Thanks.
Don't be wearing that dress all in front of Never mind.
- Yeah.
-Will, this is Josh Lyman.
- Congratulations.
-You too, Mr.
Lyman.
- It's a great night.
-I want to talk about Sam.
-Sure.
Is there any chance we could talk first thing in the morning it's been a pretty long few months.
-I understand completely, Will.
- Thanks.
Let me just ask you this.
What are the president's unfavorables in the 47th? -I'm sorry? - I'm trying to get a sense of what happens when Sam gets tagged with Bartlet fatigue.
I understand.
I don't have the facts and figures.
I can call you in the morning from the office.
I assumed, because most operatives can recite that kind of thing.
You know, at the upper levels.
The president has a 48/42 favorable/unfavorable with a 12-point gender spread.
"Shares our values": 37/58.
"Handling of economy": 41/51.
-"Strong leader"? - 37/44.
Thank you.
- Can you find Leo for me? - Yeah.
It's Donna, I have Josh looking for him.
Thanks.
Are you lost? - Hey.
I know you.
- Yeah.
You work here? You didn't tell me that.
Let me see your slip.
I'm sure you're over in Dr.
McNally's wing.
Navigation was never my strong area in school.
- You had to study it? - Yeah, a lot.
- Where did you go to school? - Annapolis.
Of course, I'm sorry.
It's this way, I'll take you.
Thanks.
- Why don't you give me a carton.
- No, no.
- You guys having a party or something? - Yeah, we won an election.
I heard.
Congratulations.
Isn't this a strange time to be moving into your office? I'm the 2 a.
m.
watch commander in the Situation Room tonight.
Why didn't you tell me you worked here? I didn't want you to feel awkward about voting for Ritchie.
I didn't vote for Ritchie.
Because you traded with me, but your intent was to vote for Ritchie.
- Yes.
- And I didn't want you to feel awkward.
I appreciate that.
So why were you gonna vote for Ritchie? My role here isn't political.
Is that what they told you to say? - Well, people usually don't ask.
- That's true.
So why were you gonna vote for Ritchie? - I think this is my door right here.
- It is.
Would you mind? - Okay.
- It's freezing in here.
- I appreciate your help.
Thanks a lot.
- You bet.
- So why were you vo? - Pentagon procurement.
- What about it? - The president said he'd roll it back.
He wasn't talking about your job or weapons, he was talking about five-hundred-dollar screwdrivers.
- Excuse me.
Lieutenant Commander Reese.
I'm just asking out of curiosity.
- I mean, you're not in favor of - Thank you.
- Calling me to work early.
- What's going on? I don't know.
Sounds like a coup d'état in Venezuela.
Well, you should go do that, then.
Yeah.
Yeah, be careful.
Thanks, but I'm just going downstairs.
- Still.
- Okay.
There's a cable intercept out of Punto Fijo to Miraflores.
A request to speak to lgnacio? Yeah, and there's a cellular intercept, has General Martinez at the palace calling General Reyes.
- And? - The request was denied.
Yeah, that wasn't really a high-percentage phone call.
No.
Leo, this is Lieutenant Commander Jack Reese.
He's Nancy McNally's new man in uniform.
Welcome, commander.
When did you start? He started about 10 seconds ago, Leo, this is his first night.
All right.
Let me say first, this is not a drill.
- Yes, sir.
- Major Carson from SOUTHCOM.
Adam Hallridge, CIA, Venezuela desk.
Troop, Assistant Secretary for Latin American Affairs and some other people.
Ignacio's two top generals, Martinez and Rojas threw their support behind Luna.
And Martinez placed lgnacio and his vice president under arrest.
Does their control extend beyond Caracas? No.
Ignacio's got the PDVSA refinery at Punto Fijo.
There's 63 Americans in the refinery.
Mr.
McGarry needs you to cull the pertinent intelligence data.
Put together a briefing he can give the president.
How much time do you need? Three hours? Twenty minutes, son.
"My ex-husband, Toby Ziegler, and I are expecting twins in May.
We thank you for your good wishes and ask for privacy while we consider reconciliation.
" Two sentences.
Actually, that's good.
- Yeah.
- It is.
- Harmless.
- Yes.
I'll tell you what, I'll issue that statement, and that'll be that.
Thank you.
Okay.
Toby, wake up.
Wake up.
Time to go to school.
- What is the problem? - You raise your voice to a pregnant woman? - I didn't.
- It was in your inflection.
- Was it? It is not a matter of national security that the public know.
I do not waive my Fourteenth Amendment rights.
The Fourteenth Amendment protects you from state action, not the media.
There are 24 members of Congress over 80.
They work on Tuesdays.
No one tonight is questioning their job performance.
First of all, three of those guys are outstanding congressmen.
Second, their constituents knew they were 80 when they voted for them.
I wouldn't have been elected if voters knew? Voters aren't the ones who are gonna throw the picnic.
- I know.
- Then what's the problem? I can't stand the ones who are.
You know I'm gonna get sued.
I mean, you know it.
The Citizens League for a Rooty-Tooty Freedom Liberty.
They'll work out of a strip mall in Sarasota, but they'll be well-funded.
- You're not trying to avoid a fight.
- No.
- You're looking for one.
- Yeah.
- You're sniffing around for a fight.
- Yes.
Not sniffing around for one as much as trying to create one.
Trying to create trouble where none existed.
- Yes.
- Well I can admire that.
Honey, have you told the Bartlets? - No.
- Why not? I came up with a plan to tell them apart in the initial months.
I think I'll probably dress them differently.
Oh, okay.
I was gonna hang little signs around their necks.
Why haven't you told them? I don't know.
There's a thing,"The biggest lies are told after sex, before" Something.
Well, I think it's helpful if lies come before sex.
But"The biggest lies come after the hunt before marriage and during elections.
" - Mark Twain? - Nice to meet you.
Bruno Gianelli.
- You're funny.
- Yeah.
Does winning make you funny? Losing makes you funny, winning makes you handsome.
- Well, you must win an awful lot.
- Bruno? Excuse me.
I am I'm just gonna kill you.
- She seems nice.
- That's the brunette named Annette.
You'd give anything if she was from Tibet.
I'm fine with her being from Philadelphia.
State your business.
- Witkenstein.
- I don't believe this.
It'll be the start of a press tour.
- Enjoy the party.
- I'm gonna leak campaign memos.
Listen.
I think it's good this guy is talking.
He doesn't know anything.
It won't last long.
- I don't care.
We can - C.
J.
I know how to do this, end a process story and correct the record.
- Look at me.
- What? - We won.
It's over.
In a poll taken three days after the MS announcement the President lost to Ritchie by nine points.
He won by 11.
You did it.
It helps when you cook with the right food.
But at midnight, my contract with Bartlet for America expired.
I'm a taxpayer now.
I've got bigger problems than who gets credit for a win.
And I'd rather the White House not spend time on it.
Okay.
Hey, if you wanna come back to my office, there's an actual still.
- I heard.
I'll be there.
- Okay.
- Speaking of credit.
- Yeah.
Nice win.
- Listen, can I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah.
I've been talking to a few people and I don't know, I think maybe Sam should run.
- I've thought about that too.
- What's the story gonna be? - That we didn't take back the House.
- Like that was our fault.
"He didn't do enough down-ticket campaigning.
" Any idea how much gumbo that man ate? This is what you do.
You bounce off the subject.
Oh, shrimp.
Running for Congress isn't a thing you do to change the story.
I know, but there are real reasons.
We give Democrats in the 47th something to get excited about.
- You think he should run? - I do.
- This shrimp is incredibly good.
- What are you doing here? I'm your wingman.
Okay.
- Hello.
- Hey.
Toby, I'm afraid you didn't have a good night.
I bet against a Puerto Rican for Bronx borough president, I deserve it.
You took a hit, ironically, on a Wisconsin referendum to legalize gambling but you won steaks on the over-under in the Texas Farm Commissioner race.
Does the U.
S.
Attorney's office know you? - Yeah, they have me on file.
- Can we talk to you a minute? Actually, I'm gonna talk to the president and first lady.
Can it wait? - You're gonna tell them? - Yeah.
- Can we come? - No.
- They're still up, right? - Yeah.
Jimmy Fitzsimmons won the Boston mayor's race by 51 points and believe it or not, did not beat the spread.
I think he should do it.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Do you work on the maintenance staff? No, I'm senior assistant to Josh Lyman, he's the deputy chief of staff.
I'd noticed that the room was cold before, so I loosened up the radiator but then, well, I guess you could say I broke it.
But it's fine now.
It should be fine.
Well, I doubt it.
The building has maintenance, doesn't it? They're having fun at the party.
So everyone safe in Venezuela? Yeah.
$500 screwdrivers is why you didn't vote for him? I work for the president, that's a lot.
- It's wasteful spending.
- No, it's not.
A $400 ashtray? - What was that? - A $400 ashtray.
It's off the USS Greeneville, a submarine and a likely target for a torpedo.
When hit, you've got enough problems without glass flying in the eyes of the navigator and officer of the deck.
This one's built to break into three dull pieces.
We lead a different life out there, and it costs more money.
I can't believe you broke a $400 ashtray.
Yeah, I wish I hadn't done that.
It's because you're blonde.
- How'd it go in the Sit Room? - Not my finest hour.
You wanna go to the party? - I've still got the watch.
- Okay.
- Can you glue that thing back together? - No.
- They'll page me up at the party, right? - Yeah.
Okay.
As you can see, we've moved on to the caviar course.
- I love caviar.
- I know how you do.
Stoli Cristall, the most elegant of vodkas.
The caviar itself is a product of my advice at the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species.
We passed a much more stringent bill against the poaching of Caspian Sea sturgeons.
This is Oklahoma caviar? California white sturgeon from the Stillman Sea Farm in Elverta.
- Only the best.
- Stop, it's getting hot in here.
Oh, I think you're gonna find Excuse me.
- Good evening.
- How you doing? I'm fine, thank you, sir.
- I'm sorry, but Leo needs to see you.
- Okay.
Anyone else? - Yes, sir, then Toby.
- Yeah.
You're young, Charlie.
Don't you wanna be having fun right now? Yes, sir, but I work for you.
I get that a lot.
Leo.
- Good evening, sir.
- Yes? - You look sharp.
- Thank you.
- Hey, Abbey.
- Hi, Leo.
What happened? It sounds like Commando Especial units under Luna broke into the refinery and took control.
- The Americans? - They're safe.
It's over.
Yeah.
Well, we kind of knew it was gonna be like this.
- Yes, sir.
- Jordan still here? - Yeah.
- All right, have a good night.
- You know Toby's lurking out here? - Yeah.
Toby.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Good evening, sir.
- Hi.
Mrs.
Bartlet, that's a lovely housecoat you're wearing.
- Thank you.
- Listen, I'm in the middle of something.
Is this anything that could wait until tomorrow? Of course it is.
Really, I've stopped by because I hadn't told you that Andy's pregnant.
It's twins and, of course, I'm the father.
Wow, that's great.
Well done.
See you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- Jed! Toby get in here.
I was this close.
- Andy's pregnant? - Yeah.
It's twins, a boy and a girl.
That is the most wonderful news.
- I'm gonna cry.
- You should marry that girl, Toby.
- I'm doing my best, sir.
- How far along is she? End of May.
I have a picture.
- Wait a second, end of May? - Oh, boy.
- This is gonna - Hang on, I'm doing math in my head.
End of May, why didn't you tell us until now? - Jed, he doesn't need a reason.
- Yeah, but he's got one.
The truth is, I don't, sir, at least not a good one.
I was intimidated by your Catholicism.
Really? - Yeah.
- It's my Catholicism, it works for me.
- And me.
- And her.
- Did you break any laws? - No, sir.
Then a blessing on your house, young man.
Mazel tov.
Thank you, sir.
- Thank you, ma'am.
- Okay.
- Is that caviar there? - Not really, no.
Let's go.
I told Leo McGarry that.
I said education's the silver bullet that's what this election is about.
We went in the field.
We came up with the middle-class tax cut plus the 100 percent tax-deductible tuition Excuse me.
- Chris Whitaker, right? - Yeah.
Thank you.
- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Well, thank you.
No, please.
We're all impressed with how influential you were particularly when most of us have never met you.
What I'm most grateful for is the process story taking attention from the debate and focuses it where it belongs, which is the contest.
This is the story everyone will be clamoring for.
You're filling that need.
To show my gratitude, I'm calling all the news outlets and letting them know that I'll be forwarding all your confidential memos to the president Iogs of all your calls with him Secret Service logs of your meetings inside the White House.
I really pissed you off, huh? Don't disrespect Leo McGarry and Bruno Gianelli.
- Sam.
- I was just on my way.
- What do you guys need? - We need to talk to you.
Talk to me about what? We think you should run.
Why would you think something like that? Well, it was Josh's idea.
Actually, it was Amy's.
- Why? - I picked a trifecta with the California 47th, a sheriff's race in Arizona and the Tulsa Family Court.
- Can I give you the money and? - You'd be a home-run choice.
You'll raise a lot of money, and I have a hunch that the president who just won a landslide, will be making some visits as well.
You'll be the best-funded Democrat ever to run in 47.
You're not gonna win, so you can't lose.
I think you'd energize the state party.
We're not gonna let you look like a fool.
We won't allow it.
What do you think? I don't think you should do it.
Energizing the state party is good a well-funded airing of issues is good, so is mollifying House Democrats but you have to ask, is it worth it? You'll lose.
Democrats are always gonna lose in the 47th.
You can't just pick up and try someplace else.
They have a name for that.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I worked on a state assembly race in Manhattan in a district where Democrats outnumbered Republicans 16 to one.
But everywhere we went, there'd be one poster of a right-wing nut bar who wanted to eliminate income tax.
And he was holding up signs and canvassing everywhere and bugging the local reporters until we had to comment on it.
So I introduced myself to his campaign manager, and I said: "What are you doing? Your candidate doesn't have a chance and neither do your issues.
" He said,"This is what I believe and no candidate gets to run in my district without speaking to my issues.
" I came this close to voting for him.
So I don't know about what you just said.
Then I think you should win.
I'm sorry.
I've finally got Mrs.
Wilde on the phone.
All right.
- All right, what? - All right.
And get Will Bailey on the phone.
You think he's still up? - No problem.
- Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna take this call.
We'll go with you.
You're in the Air Force, the private sector, the Labor Department two presidential campaigns and rehab and you think you've seen it all, but it turns out you haven't.
Sam Seaborn is gonna be the Democratic candidate for Congress in Orange County.
I know.
I think it's terrific, but I would've thought you'd be unhappy.
- Why? - He's gonna get crushed and I wouldn't think it would reflect well on your boss.
What? Let me tell you something about process, Dr.
Kendall and I'll do so while tuning this radio to WNKW,"the music of your life.
" And begging the sun for one more moment of moonlight.
Speaking of the moon Luna took power tonight.
About three dozen people are dead and lgnacio's under arrest.
He'll be dead soon.
Well Luna's who you wanted.
The process matters more than the outcome, and that's what we wanted.
And therein endeth the lesson.
Will you dance with me? Yes.
He ran Horton Wilde's campaign in Orange County.
His widow wanted to know what Democrat was gonna stand in for her husband should he win.
- And I said - You're kidding.
Something weird's going on.
We're winning.
We've got news.
- What? - You're gonna win New Hampshire.
CBS is ready to declare Delaware, with its three electoral votes for President Bartlet.
Horton Wilde, who's dead, is losing by 88 votes.
Plus, there was an actual storm.
We're gonna be up all night with these.
It's gonna be fun.
God bless you all.
God bless the United States of America.
And we still have, I wanna remind our viewers three House races undecided, as we've been reporting.
Those would be Tennessee 2nd, the New York 22nd and the race that's been dubbed "Lazarus 47" in some circles the race for California 's 47th Congressional District between the six-term incumbent, Republican Chuck Webb and Democrat Horton Wilde, who passed away some three weeks ago but whose name remains on the ballot.
George, which is stranger that a Democrat is competitive in Orange County or that the Democrat in question is I don 't mean to make light of this of course, but the candidate passed away.
They're both pretty strange, Julie but for a Democrat to win in the 47th he's going to have to have something going for him, and this was it.
Martin, how important were the candidates ' performances in the debate? I'll tell you.
The day before the debate, the president held a three-point lead.
That's within the margin of error, a statistical tie.
Among those who were undecided seventy-three percent made up their mind based on the debates and 69 percent of that population went for the president.
-That's how the president won.
-That's how the president won.
-Absolutely.
-What is Governor Ritchie thinking? He said What he said was this, he said: "A probable impossibility is preferable to an improbable possibility.
" The impossible is preferable to the improbable.
What did he mean? He meant it's okay to sing and dance but you shouldn't turn on the radio, hear the news report.
- You want some cake? - No.
You sure? - What kind? - Cake.
- They have flavors.
- I don't know.
It was a confluence of events.
If you pitched it to a Hollywood producer, they'd tell you that Aristotle says: "A probable impossibility is preferable to an improbable possibility.
" Doesn't sound like them, but I understand.
Midwest, the RNC exits a dead candidate, a rainstorm.
- It's Aristotle all over the place.
- I'm gonna turn these off.
Head down to the party.
Everyone's asking for you.
- You really don't know what kind of? - It's cake.
It's cake.
When I talked to the woman she had tears in her voice.
Her husband loved the president.
Admired his integrity.
Yes, we're big on integrity.
By the way, when I said I'd run in his place, it's not like I meant it.
Let's go to the party.
There are TVs everywhere.
You'll know as soon as they're ready to report something from the 47th.
You're right.
You're right.
House race in California 47th, where the impossible seems to be happening.
And we send it to Gail Mackee, who 's standing by in Newport Beach.
Gail? Julie, I'm at the Hyatt in Newport Beach with the Horton Wilde campaign, and the place is going absolutely berserk.
Bonnie, Ginger, get me Will Bailey, get me Kay Wilde.
Very quickly, please.
just received a phone call from Congressman Chuck Webb.
He's conceding, thanking Mrs.
Wilde for a well-fought campaign Get Will Bailey.
Please.
Get him.
and looking forward He says he looks forward to running in a special election.
Is there any word on who the Democrats might run in the special election? - Get him! Gotta get him! -No, there isn 't, not yet.
But I can report a rumor that's been making its way around.
Of course you can.
Why not? Former Orange County resident and current White House Senior Adviser Sam Seaborn will seek the seat.
And the plot thickens.
Sam Seaborn, of course an architect of the president's first victory as well as his, I think we have to start calling it a landslide tonight.
- They're talking about someone else.
-We've got a picture to throw on-screen.
Julie, I have to interrupt Yeah.
Okay.
Anyone know where Toby and Josh and C.
J.
are? Hey! Toby, Josh, C.
J.
, has anyone? They're over in the thing.
California 47th the same way the Democrats view the New York 16th.
-They see it as unlosable.
- Hi.
The Democrats have not only never won the 47th they've never even been a factor.
So who is this Sam Seaborn? He's an integral part of the president's circle since joining the Bartlet campaign after years at a New York law firm Gage Whitney Pace.
-A graduate of Princeton - Sam Donaldson from ABC Nightly News.
He'd like to know if the president is endorsing Sam.
Toby, is the president endorsing Sam? Is the president endorsing Sam? I don't know.
He's asleep, but let's go ask him.
All right.
All right, look this is extremely easy to explain.
First of all Okay, how familiar are the three of you with Aristotle? - You agreed to run? - I said it for the widow.
She wanted a name for election night and I said,"Use my name" not thinking it was a practical option.
Can I ask, is your office now the House of the Rising Sun? Yes.
- You did it for the widow? - Yes.
And for a guy named Will Bailey who ran the campaign and worked his ass off.
Never backed off and navigated a dead Democrat to a win against Chuck Webb.
Five hundred races tonight, that was impressive.
Though it was an Aristotelian confluence of events that could only happen to me.
- I have to talk to the widow.
- I'd talk to the president first.
- Really? - He'll get it in the morning.
There's a seat in play.
He's gonna be asked about it.
He can't say: "I have no earthly idea what you're talking about.
" Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I don't want to intimidate you but I'm the first Democrat in 20 years to make a clean sweep of the Plains states.
And I'm not just talking about lowa and Nebraska.
- Are you trying to turn me on now? - Yeah.
All right.
I won the Dakotas.
The Badlands.
The Black Hills.
But let's go down, way down to the deep South the humid bayou of Louisiana and its nine electoral votes.
What manner of man it must take to win the state.
Which, by the way is the only one operating under the Napoleonic Code of France.
I still don't know what that's all about, but back to me.
Hon, this is like nerd hot talk.
Who's your commander in chief? - You are.
- Yes.
And do the ladies like him? Oh, yes to the tune of 58 percent.
Yeah? I'm sorry, sir.
We had an understanding with regard to tonight and interruptions, Charlie.
I thought we were men.
Yes, I'm sorry, but Sam said - Sam needs to see me? - Yes, sir.
- It's, what, 1 in the morning? - Yes, sir.
Well, let's send him in.
- Good evening, Mr.
President.
- Good to see you.
- I hope I'm not here at a bad time.
- No.
What would make you say that? I couldn't have picked a worse time.
You could have, and I'm not gonna take any chances, so let's do it now.
- Horton Wilde won in the 47th.
- I know.
There will be a special election.
And, to make a long story short, you might be asked tomorrow if you're endorsing me.
- Am I? - Well, I'm not really running.
Then I'm behind you 100 percent.
- Look - Man, is everything all right? Yeah.
I made a promise to a widow in a moment - Hello, Mr.
President.
- Hey, Mrs.
Bartlet.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
Look, honey, Sam stopped by.
- Hi, Sam.
- Hi.
- Eyes front, mister.
- I'll take care of this in the next few hours.
You don't need to worry about it.
- You sure you're okay? - Yes, sir.
- Is this Dean Martin? - Yeah.
- Good.
- Thank you.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Could you keep trying Will Bailey, please? - Yeah.
- Congratulations.
- You, too, Tom.
And congratulations on the other thing there, Papa.
Yeah.
Any idea where Mama is? Right over there.
The great state of Maryland! Andy.
- Andy, don't drink the - It's ginger ale, crazy boy.
Ginger ale can be bad according to the latest studies.
It can be very My man got the president reelected tonight! That was very pleasant.
- Can I talk to you a second? - Yeah.
We won by 85 percent of the vote.
I don't understand the 15 percent, but what the hell.
Yeah, well, as long as you scraped by with a win.
Look, a statement.
- We've been through this.
-Roll Call has it, we have to deal with it.
- I don't.
- Congresswoman, are you pregnant? None of your business.
You can't withhold that.
Did you hear that the president has multiple sclerosis and never told anyone? Yes, there was a congressional investigation.
It almost detonated his presidency.
You're worried about me? I just won by 85 percent.
- I'm not worried about you.
- I know.
You're worried about a senior counselor fathering kids out of wedlock.
Single moms are more sympathetic than deadbeat dads, so I wouldn't gallivant.
- You're not a deadbeat dad.
- You and I know that.
But if I can't protect my kids, their mom and the president all at the same time, then I've gotta quit my job, so help me out.
- Yes.
- You'll make a statement? No, but when they ask me who the father is, I won't tell them.
I'm the father.
You're at your leisure to tell them that.
Eighty-five percent of what kind of backward population votes for this woman? The good people of Maryland.
- Maryland! - Maryland! Women.
Yes indeed, ma'am.
Fifty-eight percent.
But let's take a trip down Louisiana way where we find its nine electoral votes go to - Leo? - Yeah? If you walk me through every demographic I think the night's not gonna have the kind of happy ending you're hoping for.
Got it.
Good tip.
Keep them coming.
- Colonel.
- Yes, ma'am.
No.
Hey.
- How you doing? - Pretty good.
You got a second? Yeah.
There's gunfire in Caracas and Merida and Valencia.
There's movement in the Acuellar, Coroico Ciuadad Alto and Parado Negro bases.
- What about GV? They stopped broadcasting.
- Are you ready to brief? - Fifteen minutes.
Okay.
Can you hang around for a minute? There's about to be a coup in Venezuela.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Bartlet seemed to rely heavily on his intellectual book smarts that some experts believe to be off-putting to many Americans.
Did you think that the president ran too smart? We never advised him to hide his intelligence, especially during debates Hey, with the singing.
because that's what made him stand out as a candidate.
Walk us through the tea leaves.
What were the indicators for you? High gas prices and instability in the Gulf region.
And so we recommended that he make energy a hot topic for the campaign.
And obviously a winning strategy.
People say this is a president who more than anyone since Truman, ran his own campaign.
Is that true? Yeah.
We all give advice but this president calls his own shots.
- Does anyone know who this is? - I think he won the election.
- It sounds like he did well.
- I think that's Chris Whitaker.
- It is.
- He's a pollster.
He's a pollster that Bruno contracted out of Illinois.
Excuse me.
Don't break things.
You realize you won all the Plains states but the Dakotas? We won the Dakotas.
I didn't even realize that.
Yeah, we won the Dakotas tonight.
The Badlands.
- Bruno? - Sitting Bull was buried Yeah.
Hello.
Excuse me.
This is Ashley, assistant to Jane Zalaznick at the Women's Leadership Coalition.
- C.
J.
- Nice to meet you.
- You got a second? Carloads of partygoers from the Women's Leadership Coalition and the Women's Action Network are unloading at the northwest executive entrance.
It is time for watermelon.
You know a guy named Chris Whitaker? - Widdle? - Whitaker.
- Witkenstein? - Are you drunk? - A little bit.
- Chris Whitaker.
Is a pollster I contracted for Cook County.
He was just on TV claiming credit for your energy strategy.
The energy strategy and who knows what else.
- Witkenstein? - Bruno! - What do I care? - You should talk to reporters.
- You're entitled to the status you earned.
- The only thing I need status for I'm doing right now.
- I'm watching this guy.
- You don't have to watch him.
- We owe you.
No, I got paid.
But thanks.
I'm gonna talk to Ashley.
- I'm gonna be watching this guy.
- I'm gonna be talking to Ashley.
Okay.
Donna.
You might wanna tell Josh that a few carloads of women - Yeah, he knows.
- Okay.
- Josh.
- Hang on.
People from the Women's Leadership Coalition just Yes, hello.
Hello.
It's a target-rich environment and I don't wanna cramp your style.
I wanted to stash my coat in your office.
- Sure.
- Come here.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks.
You owe me 10 dollars on the Delaware 1 st ten dollars on lowa 5th.
We pushed across the Mountain states I lost Arkansas and the Georgia Legislature but you went 20 on the Michigan gubernatorial.
How you doing on the night? I'm only up 90, but there's a waste disposal bond issue in Jasper, Alabama that's gonna put me in a new pair of Manolos.
So the guys at Lexington and Concord, they didn't die in vain.
- Yeah, no way.
- Wanna hear the funniest thing? A week ago, Sam told Horton Wilde's widow that he would run in his place.
- I know.
- You heard? - Yeah.
- All these events conspired to The DNC gave up, so the RNC left town, leaving no one to read the exits.
- Want me to open it? - I can do it.
The president won the Midwest.
There was depressed Republican turnout in the district because it was never a race, and - Will Bailey.
- I keep hearing that name.
- I helped him raise money.
For a dead candidate, of course you did.
Anyway, Sam's desperately trying to get a hold of the widow to have the worst conversation of his life.
He'll have to say He should do it.
That's what I came to tell you.
- What do you mean? - He should run.
He'll get killed.
But tomorrow, you'll face an angry minority who don't feel the president did enough to make them the majority.
Angry House Democrats, I'm shivering.
Hold my hand.
- I'm saying - The president's coattails elected a Democrat out of Orange County with literally no pulse.
- Any congressman complaining - Will be smoothed over Will be smoothed over if the president sends a top lieutenant still shining from victory, on a suicide mission to Disney's California Adventure.
- You're ahead 90 bucks? - And it's still very early.
All right, give me your coat.
What? I didn't say anything.
- Okay, your coat will be here.
- I'm gonna go collect money.
Enjoy.
I certainly Donna! - How did you know I was out there? - I felt you lurking.
I wanna try to find a guy named Will Bailey with the Wilde campaign in Newport Beach.
Yeah.
- Congratulations.
Way to go, Will.
- Thanks for your work.
- I don't know who you are.
- Will! - I'm going to sleep.
- Come back to the party! - I'm going to sleep.
- Now? - Any second.
- The greatest night of your life and you're gonna sleep? - Special reward.
There are all kinds of volunteers who wanna dance with you.
- And you know what that means.
- Dance? I think I do.
You ever gonna enjoy yourself? I beat Chuck Webb.
That was a pretty good time.
Yes, you did.
I'm so proud that you're my brother.
Me too.
I mean, me too.
You know what I mean.
You sure you don't wanna come back? - I can't stand up anymore.
- Okay.
- Sleep well.
- Thanks.
Don't be wearing that dress all in front of Never mind.
- Yeah.
-Will, this is Josh Lyman.
- Congratulations.
-You too, Mr.
Lyman.
- It's a great night.
-I want to talk about Sam.
-Sure.
Is there any chance we could talk first thing in the morning it's been a pretty long few months.
-I understand completely, Will.
- Thanks.
Let me just ask you this.
What are the president's unfavorables in the 47th? -I'm sorry? - I'm trying to get a sense of what happens when Sam gets tagged with Bartlet fatigue.
I understand.
I don't have the facts and figures.
I can call you in the morning from the office.
I assumed, because most operatives can recite that kind of thing.
You know, at the upper levels.
The president has a 48/42 favorable/unfavorable with a 12-point gender spread.
"Shares our values": 37/58.
"Handling of economy": 41/51.
-"Strong leader"? - 37/44.
Thank you.
- Can you find Leo for me? - Yeah.
It's Donna, I have Josh looking for him.
Thanks.
Are you lost? - Hey.
I know you.
- Yeah.
You work here? You didn't tell me that.
Let me see your slip.
I'm sure you're over in Dr.
McNally's wing.
Navigation was never my strong area in school.
- You had to study it? - Yeah, a lot.
- Where did you go to school? - Annapolis.
Of course, I'm sorry.
It's this way, I'll take you.
Thanks.
- Why don't you give me a carton.
- No, no.
- You guys having a party or something? - Yeah, we won an election.
I heard.
Congratulations.
Isn't this a strange time to be moving into your office? I'm the 2 a.
m.
watch commander in the Situation Room tonight.
Why didn't you tell me you worked here? I didn't want you to feel awkward about voting for Ritchie.
I didn't vote for Ritchie.
Because you traded with me, but your intent was to vote for Ritchie.
- Yes.
- And I didn't want you to feel awkward.
I appreciate that.
So why were you gonna vote for Ritchie? My role here isn't political.
Is that what they told you to say? - Well, people usually don't ask.
- That's true.
So why were you gonna vote for Ritchie? - I think this is my door right here.
- It is.
Would you mind? - Okay.
- It's freezing in here.
- I appreciate your help.
Thanks a lot.
- You bet.
- So why were you vo? - Pentagon procurement.
- What about it? - The president said he'd roll it back.
He wasn't talking about your job or weapons, he was talking about five-hundred-dollar screwdrivers.
- Excuse me.
Lieutenant Commander Reese.
I'm just asking out of curiosity.
- I mean, you're not in favor of - Thank you.
- Calling me to work early.
- What's going on? I don't know.
Sounds like a coup d'état in Venezuela.
Well, you should go do that, then.
Yeah.
Yeah, be careful.
Thanks, but I'm just going downstairs.
- Still.
- Okay.
There's a cable intercept out of Punto Fijo to Miraflores.
A request to speak to lgnacio? Yeah, and there's a cellular intercept, has General Martinez at the palace calling General Reyes.
- And? - The request was denied.
Yeah, that wasn't really a high-percentage phone call.
No.
Leo, this is Lieutenant Commander Jack Reese.
He's Nancy McNally's new man in uniform.
Welcome, commander.
When did you start? He started about 10 seconds ago, Leo, this is his first night.
All right.
Let me say first, this is not a drill.
- Yes, sir.
- Major Carson from SOUTHCOM.
Adam Hallridge, CIA, Venezuela desk.
Troop, Assistant Secretary for Latin American Affairs and some other people.
Ignacio's two top generals, Martinez and Rojas threw their support behind Luna.
And Martinez placed lgnacio and his vice president under arrest.
Does their control extend beyond Caracas? No.
Ignacio's got the PDVSA refinery at Punto Fijo.
There's 63 Americans in the refinery.
Mr.
McGarry needs you to cull the pertinent intelligence data.
Put together a briefing he can give the president.
How much time do you need? Three hours? Twenty minutes, son.
"My ex-husband, Toby Ziegler, and I are expecting twins in May.
We thank you for your good wishes and ask for privacy while we consider reconciliation.
" Two sentences.
Actually, that's good.
- Yeah.
- It is.
- Harmless.
- Yes.
I'll tell you what, I'll issue that statement, and that'll be that.
Thank you.
Okay.
Toby, wake up.
Wake up.
Time to go to school.
- What is the problem? - You raise your voice to a pregnant woman? - I didn't.
- It was in your inflection.
- Was it? It is not a matter of national security that the public know.
I do not waive my Fourteenth Amendment rights.
The Fourteenth Amendment protects you from state action, not the media.
There are 24 members of Congress over 80.
They work on Tuesdays.
No one tonight is questioning their job performance.
First of all, three of those guys are outstanding congressmen.
Second, their constituents knew they were 80 when they voted for them.
I wouldn't have been elected if voters knew? Voters aren't the ones who are gonna throw the picnic.
- I know.
- Then what's the problem? I can't stand the ones who are.
You know I'm gonna get sued.
I mean, you know it.
The Citizens League for a Rooty-Tooty Freedom Liberty.
They'll work out of a strip mall in Sarasota, but they'll be well-funded.
- You're not trying to avoid a fight.
- No.
- You're looking for one.
- Yeah.
- You're sniffing around for a fight.
- Yes.
Not sniffing around for one as much as trying to create one.
Trying to create trouble where none existed.
- Yes.
- Well I can admire that.
Honey, have you told the Bartlets? - No.
- Why not? I came up with a plan to tell them apart in the initial months.
I think I'll probably dress them differently.
Oh, okay.
I was gonna hang little signs around their necks.
Why haven't you told them? I don't know.
There's a thing,"The biggest lies are told after sex, before" Something.
Well, I think it's helpful if lies come before sex.
But"The biggest lies come after the hunt before marriage and during elections.
" - Mark Twain? - Nice to meet you.
Bruno Gianelli.
- You're funny.
- Yeah.
Does winning make you funny? Losing makes you funny, winning makes you handsome.
- Well, you must win an awful lot.
- Bruno? Excuse me.
I am I'm just gonna kill you.
- She seems nice.
- That's the brunette named Annette.
You'd give anything if she was from Tibet.
I'm fine with her being from Philadelphia.
State your business.
- Witkenstein.
- I don't believe this.
It'll be the start of a press tour.
- Enjoy the party.
- I'm gonna leak campaign memos.
Listen.
I think it's good this guy is talking.
He doesn't know anything.
It won't last long.
- I don't care.
We can - C.
J.
I know how to do this, end a process story and correct the record.
- Look at me.
- What? - We won.
It's over.
In a poll taken three days after the MS announcement the President lost to Ritchie by nine points.
He won by 11.
You did it.
It helps when you cook with the right food.
But at midnight, my contract with Bartlet for America expired.
I'm a taxpayer now.
I've got bigger problems than who gets credit for a win.
And I'd rather the White House not spend time on it.
Okay.
Hey, if you wanna come back to my office, there's an actual still.
- I heard.
I'll be there.
- Okay.
- Speaking of credit.
- Yeah.
Nice win.
- Listen, can I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah.
I've been talking to a few people and I don't know, I think maybe Sam should run.
- I've thought about that too.
- What's the story gonna be? - That we didn't take back the House.
- Like that was our fault.
"He didn't do enough down-ticket campaigning.
" Any idea how much gumbo that man ate? This is what you do.
You bounce off the subject.
Oh, shrimp.
Running for Congress isn't a thing you do to change the story.
I know, but there are real reasons.
We give Democrats in the 47th something to get excited about.
- You think he should run? - I do.
- This shrimp is incredibly good.
- What are you doing here? I'm your wingman.
Okay.
- Hello.
- Hey.
Toby, I'm afraid you didn't have a good night.
I bet against a Puerto Rican for Bronx borough president, I deserve it.
You took a hit, ironically, on a Wisconsin referendum to legalize gambling but you won steaks on the over-under in the Texas Farm Commissioner race.
Does the U.
S.
Attorney's office know you? - Yeah, they have me on file.
- Can we talk to you a minute? Actually, I'm gonna talk to the president and first lady.
Can it wait? - You're gonna tell them? - Yeah.
- Can we come? - No.
- They're still up, right? - Yeah.
Jimmy Fitzsimmons won the Boston mayor's race by 51 points and believe it or not, did not beat the spread.
I think he should do it.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Do you work on the maintenance staff? No, I'm senior assistant to Josh Lyman, he's the deputy chief of staff.
I'd noticed that the room was cold before, so I loosened up the radiator but then, well, I guess you could say I broke it.
But it's fine now.
It should be fine.
Well, I doubt it.
The building has maintenance, doesn't it? They're having fun at the party.
So everyone safe in Venezuela? Yeah.
$500 screwdrivers is why you didn't vote for him? I work for the president, that's a lot.
- It's wasteful spending.
- No, it's not.
A $400 ashtray? - What was that? - A $400 ashtray.
It's off the USS Greeneville, a submarine and a likely target for a torpedo.
When hit, you've got enough problems without glass flying in the eyes of the navigator and officer of the deck.
This one's built to break into three dull pieces.
We lead a different life out there, and it costs more money.
I can't believe you broke a $400 ashtray.
Yeah, I wish I hadn't done that.
It's because you're blonde.
- How'd it go in the Sit Room? - Not my finest hour.
You wanna go to the party? - I've still got the watch.
- Okay.
- Can you glue that thing back together? - No.
- They'll page me up at the party, right? - Yeah.
Okay.
As you can see, we've moved on to the caviar course.
- I love caviar.
- I know how you do.
Stoli Cristall, the most elegant of vodkas.
The caviar itself is a product of my advice at the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species.
We passed a much more stringent bill against the poaching of Caspian Sea sturgeons.
This is Oklahoma caviar? California white sturgeon from the Stillman Sea Farm in Elverta.
- Only the best.
- Stop, it's getting hot in here.
Oh, I think you're gonna find Excuse me.
- Good evening.
- How you doing? I'm fine, thank you, sir.
- I'm sorry, but Leo needs to see you.
- Okay.
Anyone else? - Yes, sir, then Toby.
- Yeah.
You're young, Charlie.
Don't you wanna be having fun right now? Yes, sir, but I work for you.
I get that a lot.
Leo.
- Good evening, sir.
- Yes? - You look sharp.
- Thank you.
- Hey, Abbey.
- Hi, Leo.
What happened? It sounds like Commando Especial units under Luna broke into the refinery and took control.
- The Americans? - They're safe.
It's over.
Yeah.
Well, we kind of knew it was gonna be like this.
- Yes, sir.
- Jordan still here? - Yeah.
- All right, have a good night.
- You know Toby's lurking out here? - Yeah.
Toby.
Thank you, Mr.
President.
- Good evening, sir.
- Hi.
Mrs.
Bartlet, that's a lovely housecoat you're wearing.
- Thank you.
- Listen, I'm in the middle of something.
Is this anything that could wait until tomorrow? Of course it is.
Really, I've stopped by because I hadn't told you that Andy's pregnant.
It's twins and, of course, I'm the father.
Wow, that's great.
Well done.
See you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- Jed! Toby get in here.
I was this close.
- Andy's pregnant? - Yeah.
It's twins, a boy and a girl.
That is the most wonderful news.
- I'm gonna cry.
- You should marry that girl, Toby.
- I'm doing my best, sir.
- How far along is she? End of May.
I have a picture.
- Wait a second, end of May? - Oh, boy.
- This is gonna - Hang on, I'm doing math in my head.
End of May, why didn't you tell us until now? - Jed, he doesn't need a reason.
- Yeah, but he's got one.
The truth is, I don't, sir, at least not a good one.
I was intimidated by your Catholicism.
Really? - Yeah.
- It's my Catholicism, it works for me.
- And me.
- And her.
- Did you break any laws? - No, sir.
Then a blessing on your house, young man.
Mazel tov.
Thank you, sir.
- Thank you, ma'am.
- Okay.
- Is that caviar there? - Not really, no.
Let's go.
I told Leo McGarry that.
I said education's the silver bullet that's what this election is about.
We went in the field.
We came up with the middle-class tax cut plus the 100 percent tax-deductible tuition Excuse me.
- Chris Whitaker, right? - Yeah.
Thank you.
- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Well, thank you.
No, please.
We're all impressed with how influential you were particularly when most of us have never met you.
What I'm most grateful for is the process story taking attention from the debate and focuses it where it belongs, which is the contest.
This is the story everyone will be clamoring for.
You're filling that need.
To show my gratitude, I'm calling all the news outlets and letting them know that I'll be forwarding all your confidential memos to the president Iogs of all your calls with him Secret Service logs of your meetings inside the White House.
I really pissed you off, huh? Don't disrespect Leo McGarry and Bruno Gianelli.
- Sam.
- I was just on my way.
- What do you guys need? - We need to talk to you.
Talk to me about what? We think you should run.
Why would you think something like that? Well, it was Josh's idea.
Actually, it was Amy's.
- Why? - I picked a trifecta with the California 47th, a sheriff's race in Arizona and the Tulsa Family Court.
- Can I give you the money and? - You'd be a home-run choice.
You'll raise a lot of money, and I have a hunch that the president who just won a landslide, will be making some visits as well.
You'll be the best-funded Democrat ever to run in 47.
You're not gonna win, so you can't lose.
I think you'd energize the state party.
We're not gonna let you look like a fool.
We won't allow it.
What do you think? I don't think you should do it.
Energizing the state party is good a well-funded airing of issues is good, so is mollifying House Democrats but you have to ask, is it worth it? You'll lose.
Democrats are always gonna lose in the 47th.
You can't just pick up and try someplace else.
They have a name for that.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I worked on a state assembly race in Manhattan in a district where Democrats outnumbered Republicans 16 to one.
But everywhere we went, there'd be one poster of a right-wing nut bar who wanted to eliminate income tax.
And he was holding up signs and canvassing everywhere and bugging the local reporters until we had to comment on it.
So I introduced myself to his campaign manager, and I said: "What are you doing? Your candidate doesn't have a chance and neither do your issues.
" He said,"This is what I believe and no candidate gets to run in my district without speaking to my issues.
" I came this close to voting for him.
So I don't know about what you just said.
Then I think you should win.
I'm sorry.
I've finally got Mrs.
Wilde on the phone.
All right.
- All right, what? - All right.
And get Will Bailey on the phone.
You think he's still up? - No problem.
- Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna take this call.
We'll go with you.
You're in the Air Force, the private sector, the Labor Department two presidential campaigns and rehab and you think you've seen it all, but it turns out you haven't.
Sam Seaborn is gonna be the Democratic candidate for Congress in Orange County.
I know.
I think it's terrific, but I would've thought you'd be unhappy.
- Why? - He's gonna get crushed and I wouldn't think it would reflect well on your boss.
What? Let me tell you something about process, Dr.
Kendall and I'll do so while tuning this radio to WNKW,"the music of your life.
" And begging the sun for one more moment of moonlight.
Speaking of the moon Luna took power tonight.
About three dozen people are dead and lgnacio's under arrest.
He'll be dead soon.
Well Luna's who you wanted.
The process matters more than the outcome, and that's what we wanted.
And therein endeth the lesson.
Will you dance with me? Yes.