Veronica Mars s04e08 Episode Script
Years, Continents, Bloodshed
1 VERONICA: Previously on Veronica Mars - LOGAN: Veronica - Stop, stop.
We're not getting married.
How's Logan takin' the rejected marriage proposal? I left the number for my therapist.
Maybe you should give her a call.
You're home.
You still have that ring? CLYDE: I understand you're interested in finding the scumbag responsible for bombing the Sea Sprite.
The bomb was just supposed to be a warning to Sul Ross, but, well, shit happens.
I don't care what you say, it's Big Dick.
He bought me a car.
- - I'm gonna prove he did it.
- [HORNS HONKING.]
- MAN: Asshole! But Penn wasn't the only one who knew about the nails.
The Murderheads knew, the police knew.
PENN: Jesus! What the hell?! There's an APB out for you.
Haven't you heard? You're the bomber everyone's looking for.
- What do you want? - Isn't it obvious? I want to hire you two to prove my innocence.
There's still a bomb out there, set to go off in 24 hours.
When it does you're gonna wish you had listened to me.
What do you want, money? I'll pay double your rate.
I I'll triple it.
Yeah, it's less of a money thing and more of a "we think you're the Neptune Bomber" thing.
Okay, the irony isn't lost on me that you two are the reason I'm here.
But you're also the two most qualified people to prove my innocence.
Vanity Fair called you "whip smart.
" "The preternaturally gifted Veronica Mars," they said.
Want to get this one right too, don't you? I was thinking we already had.
I'm tellin' the truth.
You get to save lives.
And if I'm guilty, which I'm obviously not, you get a little bit of extra money and then you sleep with a clear conscience.
[VERONICA SIGHS.]
Fine.
Cliff can wire our retainer, he knows our rates.
We'll poke around.
Now, who else knows about the nail in Penn's back from the Sea Sprite explosion? Murderheads, police, doctors, us So, all of Neptune.
Cool.
[LAUGHS.]
Cool.
I'm just saying, two minutes ago it had to be me, and now it's literally anybody.
Well, if we're entertaining anyone, there's the squirrely frat boys.
The one who tried to kill himself The fr The frat boys, are you kidding?! No! The nail! Follow the nail! Murderheads, hospital, police That's your arena! [DOOR OPENS.]
- Goddamnit.
- Time's up.
Great.
Please solve this.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Pushed back pretty hard on the frat boy thing.
Oh, you noticed that too, huh? Shall we pay the Pi Sigs a visit? - You should, Veronica.
I'm not.
- VERONICA: Damnit, Dad Sorry, you picked the wrong day to retire.
Gut it up.
[CLIFF CLEARS THROAT.]
Unless Marcia finds something else, she's gonna have to let pizza guy go in 16 hours.
Couple hours before the bomb is supposed to go off.
If we're reading the limerick correctly.
"Three laps 'round the sun, midday" I'm no detective, but that seems pretty clear.
Tomorrow.
Noon.
Then boom.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
SINGER: A long time ago We used to be friends But I haven't thought of you lately at all Bring it on, bring it on, yeah Just remember me when We used to be friends A long time ago We used to be friends A long time ago We used to be friends Hey [SCOFFS.]
Man child.
[BEEP.]
- - [BEEPING.]
[BEEPING CONTINUES.]
[BEEPING CONTINUES.]
[UNLOCKS DEADBOLT.]
Hello? [BEEPING.]
[BEEPING.]
[BEEPING STOPS.]
[LOUD CRACK.]
[CELL PHONE RINGS.]
[RINGS.]
B.
D.
, what can I do for you? There's an intruder in my house.
CLYDE: Probably just those skaters sneaking' in to use your pool again.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Get your ass over here right now! Call me back if that's not the problem.
Bye, Dick.
- [LOUD CLICK.]
- [MATTY GASPS.]
[LOUD SPLASH.]
What the hell's going' on here? ALONZO: ¡Gran polla! How's it going, my man? Nice piece there.
Hey, I don't know you.
Of course you do.
I'm Edwin.
I maintain your azaleas and I clean up the hedges.
I'm here twice a week.
[ALONZO CONTINUES, MUFFLED.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
[BIG DICK SPEAKING, MUFFLED.]
[PATIO DOOR OPENS.]
BIG DICK: You wanna tell me why you're copying my hard drive? Hard drive? Hey, don't play dumb with me, esé.
You tell me who the hell you are and what you want, and maybe I won't shoot you in self-defense.
ALONZO: You're right.
I'm not your gardener.
- You got me.
- Right.
I'm here because you killed my boss's nephew.
- [DEVICE BEEPS.]
- What? BIG DICK [RECORDING.]
: The bomb was supposed to go off in the middle of the night.
It was just supposed to be a warning to Sul Ross, but, well, shit happens.
The internet went down and messed up the timer.
[BIG DICK CHUCKLES.]
Don't judge [BIG DICK GROANS.]
Shit happens, my friend.
[BIG DICK GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[THUD.]
[INAUDIBLE DISCUSSION.]
Huh.
[STARTS CAR, REVS ENGINE.]
Let's go home.
Ya think? We have a choice? [HAWK SCREECHES IN DISTANCE.]
I guess not.
You mind finding me a trash can liner? I don't want to get any blood in the Yukon.
[ALONZO SIGHS.]
VERONICA: Of course I'm taking your name after we get married! I'm nothing if not old-fashioned.
Veronica Echolls? I'm not seeing it.
I think the Echolls is radioactive.
I was gonna take your first name.
- Veronica Logan? - VERONICA: Mm-hm.
Or you know what we could do? I could change my last name to Mars! Is it unconventional? Yes.
Is it crazy? Who's to say? "Logan Mars.
" That sounds like a guy who plays by his own rules.
LOGAN: Okay.
So who have you told so far about our pending nuptials? Uh, you.
Why? Who have you told? Dick, my Aunt Naomi um, my captain, couple guys at the gym, the guy at the juice place who asked why I was smiling Who knew Logan Mars was such a chick? I'd say I was expressing the enthusiasm that the milestone demands.
I'm enthusiastic.
I just need to keep my dad focused until we find this bomb.
Otherwise he's gonna want to talk wedding dresses and guest list.
Don't you roll your eyes at me! I will marry your ass right now.
PostMate that shit.
I'll put my bra back on! I'm a hundred percent serious! You're off the hook for tonight.
I don't wanna be off the hook.
I'm tired of being a dusty old spinster.
Let's do it tomorrow.
Are you serious? County Clerk's office.
At four.
I mean, if it hasn't been blown up.
I could make that work.
So, we're doing this? It's basically already done.
Honeymoon? Why not.
Where? I have to check my Groupons.
- Okay.
- [VERONICA LAUGHS.]
VERONICA: I don't understand.
Two brand-new DHR2019s.
I thought I left 'em in my desk drawer.
Hopefully, once we put the fear of God into this Pi Sig, he'll open up and we won't have to worry about a leave-behind.
You didn't move 'em, did you? KEITH: Well, no, but who the hell knows? I don't remember pouring this, but apparently I did.
- [OPENS DRAWER.]
- Or I did.
- Oh, yeah.
Did I thank you? - Hm, only with your eyes.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
- [VERONICA SIGHS.]
Keith Mars.
Oh.
Hey, I didn't hear you come in.
Oh.
Sorry.
You didn't happen to see two DSH2019 listening devices, did you? Yeah, I I put them in here.
- [OPENS DRAWER.]
- You did? They've been opened.
Uh, yeah.
Sorry, that was me.
I just wanted to see how they worked.
That was the Chief of Police on the phone.
Big Dick Casablancas was killed last night.
The maid found what was left of him this morning.
What was left of him? He'd been beheaded.
Oh, my God.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Yeah, that's just it's crazy.
Matty I need to know that you're okay.
I'm I'm golden.
Nothin' to see here.
Scout's honor.
We should go, Veronica.
Uh, mind if I hang out here for a bit? Just charge my phone and whatnot? Make yourself at home.
Oh, she will.
- You ready for this? - 'Course I'm ready.
Well, we're gonna have to lean on him.
Hard.
- But he wants to crack, I can tell.
- KEITH: Yeah? It's not gonna be pretty.
Veronica, I'm fine.
[CRYING.]
I don't get what this has to do with the bombings.
Stop blubbering and tell us what happened.
I told you! Nothing! Look, kid, people might die today.
And if they do, I'm gonna go take pictures of their bodies, ripped apart by shrapnel, guts spilling out, I'm gonna bring 'em back here and rub your nose in 'em, reminding you you could have saved 'em, but you didn't.
Because you couldn't get your shit together - and you couldn't tell us the truth.
- Veronica! BLAKE: They're gonna kill me.
Who's gonna kill you? Campbell and Darren.
Your pledge brothers? Yeah, I think they killed Patrick.
What? Why? To shut him up, so he wouldn't tell.
Tell what, Blake? About the pizza guy.
It was the end of Pledge Week.
We just got the shit hazed out of us.
And we're partying on the beach, just drunk off our asses.
[SNIFFLES.]
Somebody orders pizza, and the delivery guy shows up with the wrong order.
We're pissed about our order, and the deliver guy smarts off.
So we chased him into the surf and dunked him.
Over and over.
And he kept saying that he couldn't swim, and then he disappeared under a wave and didn't come back up.
And Patrick and I wanted to call the police, but Campbell and Darren said no frickin' way were we gonna tell anyone.
And Patrick kept saying that he couldn't keep a secret.
We decided to wait until morning, wait until we sobered up, and then figure out what to do.
But I woke up in the middle of the night and Patrick's tent is on fire and I can hear him screaming.
You're sure the delivery guy drowned? No.
Sometimes I think I dreamed the pizza guy.
What did he look like? The pizza delivery guy.
I remember Campbell kept calling him Frodo, because he looked like a hobbit.
Is this him? I can't be sure.
I was so wasted, and I've spent three years trying to forget.
[PATS SHOULDER.]
KEITH: Good man.
April 12th, 2015 okay, uh Yes.
Penn was working that night.
Would you be able to tell us where he delivered pizzas? You're computerized, right? When I called the other day, you knew my name, you knew my regular order We computerized a couple years ago.
Before then it was just paper tickets.
Can we take a look at those? There's a buttload.
Still MANAGER: It'd be somewhere in here.
- KEITH: Ugh.
Any sorting strategy? - None that I know of.
From 2004.
Mind if we have an employee come by to go through them? We're under the wire here.
Why not? Hey.
That was quick.
What's the good news? Well we figured out why you didn't want us to go back and talk to the frat boys.
Yeah, 'cause it's a waste of time.
I'll refresh your memory.
Three years ago, you deliver a pizza to a fraternity beach party.
But you screw up the order.
The dissatisfied customers throw you into the ocean.
They're animals, like all the spring breakers you deliver to.
You survive, barely.
You want revenge.
I-I literally have no idea what you're talking about.
You swing back by after your shift and set a tent on fire, killing one of the Pi Sigs who tormented you.
Th Okay, this is insane.
You know that, right? One of the surviving frat boys already described you.
"Looks like a hobbit.
Kind of a dipshit.
" Hey, that rhymes.
You love that crap.
So now you're just flat-out insulting me.
[CELL PHONE RINGING.]
KEITH: What have you got? I got lucky.
I found the ticket you were looking for in the fourth box I searched.
It's April 12th, 2015, 11:32 p.
m.
, 46 Ocean Boulevard.
The driver's name is listed top right.
What's it say? Uh, "Don.
" - KEITH: You're sure? - Yeah.
Thanks, Matty.
Bye.
She found the ticket.
Penn didn't deliver that pizza.
Well, well, well.
I don't suppose some driver named Don mysteriously disappeared three years ago? - Don?! - Don?! We know a Don? Yeah, I worked with him at Cho's back then.
He's a Murderhead.
He would know about the nail.
He's hobbit-shaped, and quite a dipshit.
Oh, one problem, though.
He lives in Washington, D.
C.
He's a political consultant.
Do you know that for sure? Well, thanks for checking.
You're sure there's no record after that? WOMAN: No, sorry.
I checked 'em all.
All right.
Thanks so much.
Bye.
Don failed out of Hearst his junior year.
Never graduated.
Delusions of grandeur, obsessed with serial killers, need to come out on top.
All of our theories hold up with this guy.
Well, there's only one Don McNotten in all of Southern California, and there's his driver's license.
And he lives 30 minutes away in San Diego.
I think it's time we call Marcia.
[CHATTER.]
Because I'm at the County Clerk's office right now looking at the title deeds.
My name isn't just on the Lansing Street building.
You put it on the Sarasota Ave Because it's fraud, Marc! I have to go.
Because I have to go.
[SIGHS.]
Everything okay, Parker? Other than having an ex-boyfriend overhear a conversation with my ex-husband? Well, for what it's worth, you were owning that conversation.
It's worth something.
Hello, Logan.
[LAUGHS.]
It's so good to see you.
- And you look great.
- [LAUGHS.]
Even better.
You know, if you would have seen me three years ago, you would have seen me blissfully happy.
Smug, really, about my perfect life and doting husband.
But you missed that part.
So here's me now.
But how are you? I'm doing good, yeah.
What brings you to the County Clerk's office? - Cruising chicks? - [LAUGHS.]
I'm picking up a marriage license.
Oh, Jesus! Congratulations! I'm sorry, please ignore my horror story.
I'm sure you picked a good one.
Who's the lucky girl? Well, you remember Veronica.
Does anyone forget Veronica? Wow.
You guys took your time.
- Yeah, we sure did.
- PARKER: Yeah.
Well, I gotta run, but please tell Veronica I say hello.
- Yeah, will do.
- Okay.
Oh, and, um enjoy the honeymoon phase.
It's the best part.
LOGAN: Wait, Parker! Good morning.
I am Marcia Langdon, chief of police here in Neptune.
Approximately 22 minutes ago, the San Diego Police Department raided Don McNotten's apartment, and they found bomb-making materials that match those used by the bomber that has been terrorizing Neptune.
Dandy Don is in trouble.
REPORTER: Is the suspect in custody? He seems to have recently fled, - Uh-oh.
- but we've issued an APB and urge anyone with information about his whereabouts to call our tip line.
REPORTER #2: Chief, have they found the bomb yet? MARCIA: We have officers and bomb-sniffing dogs combing the area around Fiji's Sandwich Shop.
You know who might have a sense where Don wandered off to? Do we have to? Ohh, fine.
- No hits on his credit card? - Not yet.
We got in touch with McNotten's sister.
- She hasn't heard from him.
- Thanks.
Let me know when Penn Epner is being released.
I want to talk to him first.
He got out 20 minutes ago.
Keith and Veronica Mars picked him up.
[COMPUTER CHIMING.]
Goddamn Chief Langdon.
They trashed the place.
Don's not picking up.
I don't think he's going to.
Penn, think.
Anywhere Don might have gone? People, places he mentioned? The Senate cloak room? I don't know.
For the last three years he's been pretending to be in D.
C.
Any places around here? [PENN SIGHS.]
Uh, power plant? I think someone would notice him.
No, the abandoned power plant south of the city.
Back in the day, that's where the Cho's delivery guys would go to "smoka da ganja.
" We should check it out.
Oh, yeah, my camera.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
- Something related to the case? - VERONICA: No.
Wallace is at the Kane High dedication.
Oh.
You hear that, pal? They named a school after you.
No.
This Kane.
You was robbed.
I suppose if there's going to be a separate high school for jag-offs, it's appropriate it has Jake Kane's name on it.
'Kay.
Let's go solve the case! What you got there, Penn? My detective bag.
Camera, binoculars, power bars.
Pee funnel.
Oh! Dad would have let you use his pee funnel.
- Wouldn't you, Dad? - We should go.
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
Nope.
Did you need to be driven closer, sir? I can't do all those steps.
I'll man the fort here at headquarters.
You sure? Maybe they have a chair lift and you can just [CLICKS TONGUE, IMITATES MOTOR.]
- [KEITH GROWLS.]
- VERONICA: No? [VERONICA SIGHS.]
Okay.
Wasn't like it is today: dispensary on every corner.
It was a nightmare finding good weed.
But, as luck would have it, Don's grandpa had glaucoma.
[RINGING.]
- Hi, Matty.
It's - MATTY [ON SPEAKER.]
: Eat me! - [STREET NOISE, HORNS HONKING.]
- Matty, it's Keith.
MATTY: Sorry, Mr.
Mars, I'm super late for this thing at Kane High, and the other drivers don't seem to care.
- [HORN HONKING.]
- MATTY: Let me in! How hard is that?! So what's up? MATTY: I kept going through those pizza tickets.
The one we pulled Don McNotten's delivery It was number 6-0-1-5-4.
Every other ticket from that night was in the eight thousands.
- Seemed weird.
- That is weird.
MATTY: Gets weirder.
There's one missing carbon from the eight thousands, and the one before it was an order at 11:29.
The one after it went out at 11:47.
Somebody tore out the original carbon.
MATTY: It had to be Penn.
Right? Thanks, Matty.
Gotta go.
Bye.
PENN: Ahh.
No sign of Don.
Can [SNIFFS.]
Something smells like shit.
Can we get out of here? VERONICA: Oh, God.
[INHALES, HOLDS BREATH.]
Veronica! Veronica! VERONICA: "My house now surrounded by po-po Seemed to mean that this bomber must go-go So pardon my messes, this bomber confesses There's yet one more bomb set to blow, yo.
" Suicide limerick.
It's gotta be a first.
- Drop the gun! Now! - What? I'm just - [GUN CLATTERS.]
- Dad? Matty called.
We found Don.
He's dead.
He wrote a suicide note-slash-confession.
And before you ask, yes, it's a limerick.
The receipt that showed Don made the delivery that night wasn't sequential.
It came from a different ticket book.
Like the ticket was put there later.
After I mentioned the frat boys at Murderheads, you planted it.
You're the pizza guy they thought they killed.
Can you Can you two hear yourselves? This is madness! We've got 22 minutes.
No more bullshit! Where's the goddamn bomb?! "There once was a killer named Penn Who met with a very bad end" You wanna help me finish that? Why rhymes with "lethal injection"? Bomb-sniffing dogs and most of the police force are 20 minutes away over by your place trying to find a bomb around Fiji's Sandwich Shop.
- And Marcia? - She's on her way here.
How many minutes till the bomb goes off? - KEITH: Fourteen.
- PENN: Okay.
Guys, on any given night at Cho's, we had multiple ticket books running.
The fact that they're out of sequence is not that strange.
We'll call Matty.
See if she finds other orders - from the same ticket book as Don's.
- Sure.
She's at the Kane High dedication thing.
- Oh, God.
- What? The bomb threat.
"I'll be gloating.
Bodies exploding.
The heroes upon whom we're doting.
" It's the ceremony honoring Jake Kane.
- What about the Fiji business? - I don't know, maybe it was put there to get us looking in the wrong direction? All right, we're ten minutes from the school.
Thirteen minutes till the bomb goes off.
Guys, listen to yourselves.
Whatever credibility you had is Call Wallace.
[CAR STARTS.]
[TIRES SQUEALING.]
- [MARCHING BAND PLAYING.]
- [CELL PHONE BUZZING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[SONG ENDS.]
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE.]
As many of you know, I had planned on retiring this year after 15 years as principal at Neptune High.
But when Superintendent Dillawitz showed me the blueprints for Kane High and asked me to take over here, I said, "You know what? I'm in!" [LAUGHTER, LIGHT APPLAUSE.]
What Neptune is today can be attributed to a man who revolutionized the high-tech industry: your school's namesake, Jake Kane! [APPLAUSE.]
KANE: Thank you so much.
[KANE CLEARING THROAT.]
Uh, thank you, everyone, for coming out today.
Ah, and thanks particularly to the, uh, Student Council advisor, to the band director, to the National Honor Society sponsor, and to all the coaches who made attendance mandatory today.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- And for those dedicated students who came out today entirely of their own volition to see a 60-year-old man wax nostalgic: Get a life, nerds.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- KANE: Seriously.
- [TIRES SQUEAL, HORN HONKING.]
- KANE: No, seriously.
[HORN HONKING.]
Is this a part of the program? [TIRES SQUEAL.]
- Veronica? - KANE: Wait, wait, wait.
All right.
Okay, you just - VERONICA: I need that microphone.
- No, no.
- KANE: You wait right there.
You - [SOUNDS OF STRUGGLE.]
[OVER P.
A.
.]
: Everyone needs to leave the area! PENN [SCREAMING.]
: Help! I'm a hostage! Help! They're insane! Someone help me! - Move, you dumb - [DRUMMER PLAYS RIM SHOT.]
PENN: Help! I said move! There's a bomb! [ALL SCREAMING.]
Orderly fashion, people.
Stay calm! Stay calm! KANE: Veronica, what do you think you're doing? A bomb is about to go off in 90 seconds somewhere around here.
You can either argue with me or you can help get kids out of here! You.
Get out and defuse the bomb.
We're not moving from this spot.
You are insane! Fine! We'll wait.
We can all die together.
Veronica, you need to leave the bomb radius too.
We don't need both of us babysitting this guy.
- Nice try - Goddamnit, Veronica, I've got this! It doesn't make any sense for both of us to stay here.
Just, if you love me, you go.
How about I leave and the two of you stay? - Dad - KEITH: I've got this, honey.
I've got this.
Got your affairs in order, pal? Look, maybe somebody else did plant the bomb around here and all you're doing is killing us both.
I'm really gonna have some egg on my face then, huh? [VERONICA PANTING.]
You know what, uh, chronic traumatic encephalopathy is? Th-The football thing? Your brain gives out on ya.
Pretty sure I've got it.
So, uh, you know, bowing out this way doesn't seem like the worst way to go.
How much time? Thirty seconds, if we're right.
But you know, we've been wrong before.
KEITH: How you gonna enjoy all your press coverage if you're not around to soak it up, Penn? Okay, I know where the bomb is! Get me outta here! Get me out! VERONICA: Ah, yes.
Yes! Come on, come on, come on.
PENN: Inside that thing! KEITH: Get in there and disarm it! - Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, - [SIREN APPROACHES.]
- seventeen - Stop.
[SIREN WAILING.]
- Jesus, come on! - KEITH: Hurry up.
- It's not coming, it's not coming! - KEITH: Any time now.
- It's not coming! - [BOMB BEEPING.]
PENN: The yellow one! [BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
MATTY [PANTING.]
: Veronica! - [ONLOOKERS CHATTER.]
- [SIREN WAILING.]
[VERONICA GASPS.]
[CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING.]
REPORTER: Veronica, how does it feel to be a hero? My dad's the hero.
Go talk to him.
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
[PENN GRUNTS.]
Those were real people you killed.
It wasn't a game.
[SIGHS.]
Those weren't people, Mars.
Those were spring breakers.
Locusts.
Barbarians at the gate.
Hey, you know what? I bet I get married in prison.
Some lonely hottie's gonna start sending me letters.
There'll be a whole "Free Penn Epner" movement.
T-shirts, merchandise, Go Fund Me page.
Face it, Mars.
I'm always a few steps ahead.
My contingencies have contingencies.
I'm gonna have the time of my life.
You've made me famous.
Piece of advice.
If you don't agree to play yourself in the inevitable documentary, they're just gonna hire some shit actress to play you in the reenactments, so might wanna talk to some agents.
- I'll give you some names.
- You're gross.
I'll tell you what, hero.
If you're still around, come visit me in prison.
We'll reassess.
I mean after we process all of this.
[LAUGHING.]
You threw me in the briar patch, Mars! VERONICA: That's guy's a dick.
KEITH: That routing number again: 9-8-9-8-3-2-5-1.
I appreciate it, Mr.
Linden.
Terribly sorry for your loss.
All right, then.
Goodbye.
Bravo, Keith.
I mean, how does this feel? Savior of Neptune.
Saver of lives.
Is that your "get the key to the city" suit? I just found out Veronica's getting married.
I'm on my way.
Well, mazel tov.
What are you doin' here, Clyde? I'm feting my new friend.
KEITH: We've been down this road already.
What's What's crawled up your ass? Oh, I suppose you're sensing some umbrage at nearly losing my daughter while pursuing our serial bomber.
So I take it I'm drinkin' alone.
Look, Keith whatever part Big Dick may or may not have played in the Sea Sprite bombing, I swear to you, I had nothin' to do with it.
That was between him and Perry Walsh.
Yeah, he asked me to keep an eye on you after you started pokin' around in our business interests, see what you knew.
But come on, I mean, you were workin' me as much as I was workin' you, am I right? I just figured a couple of old pros havin' a good time on Big Dick's dime was what the guy deserved.
But you did help him drive down the real estate market on the boardwalk with your Chino pals.
When I got out of prison, I was a dead-broke, 60-year-old ex-con with no skills outside of robbin' banks.
What am I supposed to do, apply at Cinnabon? Look, Keith I like you.
And it's not easy for guys our age, in our line of work, to find people they really enjoy.
So I'd like to just put this in the past.
Start over.
Can we do that? I don't think so, Clyde.
Test results got delivered to Big Dick's, your billing address.
I hope it's good news, Keith.
I'll see you around.
[TAKES DEEP BREATH.]
LOGAN: Parker's husband, he takes up with a blackjack dealer.
She said it was like wakin' up with a stranger.
What I'm interested in is you following this ex-girlfriend out to the parking lot.
I mean, you're there to get a marriage license, but you leave the building to hear the sad story of an ex-girlfriend.
Why do you think you did that? I guess I just want to go into this with my eyes wide open.
You've been talking about wanting to marry Veronica for a long time.
Well here you are.
Here I am.
JANE: The dog that caught the car.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Are you sure it's what you want? KEITH: There she is.
Ah.
You look beautiful, honey.
- Wow.
You went full Windsor.
- Hm.
- It's fancy.
- Hm.
Where's Logan? Uh, he's been running errands all day.
He does not know the details of our brush with death, and my vote is to keep him in the dark.
Hm.
It's like you're married already.
You seem awfully jovial.
Did you tip a couple back before you came here? No.
I was just sitting there, and it dawned on me how little this wedding is gonna set me back.
How much was that license, uh uh, twenty bucks? Sixty.
Ooh! That's a little rich for my blood.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh! Oh, there was one other thing.
A hush fell over the crowd.
I got my medical report back from Big Dick's fancy Beverly Hills doctors, and it turns out my brain is fine.
It was, uh, an improper combination of my many and sundry medications that were causing my brain slips.
Doc said we adjust that and I get a hip replacement, I'm back to bein' Neptune's go-to crimebuster and most eligible bachelor.
- [VERONICA GASPS.]
- KEITH: Mm.
Mmm.
- [LAUGHS.]
- KEITH: Yeah.
I don't think Headless Dick is gonna spring for that hip replacement.
No, but our reward money was transferred into our account this afternoon.
Don't look now, but we may both be havin' the greatest days of our lives.
Is that what this foreign sensation is? So pleasurable! I could get used to this.
Ahh, sorry I'm late.
Shae's in court and the babysitter was late.
Man! Using "the babysitter was late" excuse when required seems like the best reason to have kids.
Don't have children, Veronica.
Where's the groom? - He's Mr.
Punctuality.
- VERONICA: Yeah, where is that guy? [PHONE CHIMES.]
Veronica? What? What's it say? "Sorry.
" Aw, honey.
WALLACE: That's it.
"Sorry.
" [HUMORLESS CHUCKLE.]
Where does he get off? I mean, really, where does he get off? Echolls-Mars wedding? I'm afraid there's been a change.
VERONICA: It [SIGHS.]
LOGAN: Hold on, I'm comin'! Let's do this thing! - What? - We thought you weren't coming.
I'm four minutes late and I pre-apologized.
With a text saying "Sorry"? I'll give you a couple minutes.
No, stay right there.
I texted, "Sorry, I'm running a few minutes late.
" Well, this is what I got.
I can see how that could be confusing.
[SIGHS.]
I dictated the text.
I blame Siri.
But I'm here now.
There's no place I'd rather be.
CLERK: Excellent.
Follow me.
Maybe later you can tell me why Principal Clemmons was on the radio describing you as a hero.
I didn't get to hear the whole thing.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe.
SINGER: Withered and blown Do you, Logan, take Veronica as your lawfully wedded wife? I do.
CLERK: And do you, Veronica, take Logan to be your lawfully wedded husband? - Yeah, why not? - [ALL CHUCKLE.]
By the power vested in me by the State of California, I pronounce you husband and wife.
Is this where we kiss? I'm a civil servant.
It's your call.
Let's go for it.
I'm nothin' if not traditional.
[APPLAUDING.]
KEITH: Okay, let's get a room.
[VERONICA, LOGAN LAUGH.]
It was weird.
He was gloating, acting like going to prison was all part of his plan, like he had won.
He kept talking about the eventual true crime documentary and saying if I'm "still around" I should stop by prison so he could gloat.
"Sedona's main attraction is its array of red sandstone formations.
" Second thing we'll do once we get there.
It's a seven-hour drive.
Out of here by six, get there by two a.
m.
? That's eight hours, Einstein.
Plus one, 'cause they're on Mountain Time.
So there.
Oh, shit.
You're right.
I think I'm gonna shower first.
[TURNS ON WATER.]
[PHONE BUZZING.]
Yeah, I'm movin' the car.
- VERONICA: What? - LOGAN: Movin' the car! VERONICA: Logan? Wait a minute.
Arizona doesn't do daylight savings time.
Logan! [KEYS JINGLING.]
Hey! They don't do daylight savings time in Arizona! So I'm claiming half-credit.
Even though Yeah? What's the time difference in Fiji? Penn's limerick.
"Midday 'round Fiji"? Yeah, hold that thought.
I'm movin' it! [SIGHS.]
"Heroes upon whom we're doting.
" I'll tell ya what, hero.
[PENN, INAUDIBLE.]
[GASPS.]
VERONICA: Logan! [SCREAMS.]
[CAR ALARM BLARING.]
SINGER: Come on, come on, turn the radio on RADIO DJ: Pull out your pony kegs and lock up your daughters, Neptune! It's that time of year again! Spring break! This one goes out to my hard partiers.
Don't do anything "Wild Man on the Mic" Mike Wilde wouldn't d VERONICA: On my way to see you, a DJ came on the radio and was like, "Time to party, Neptune, it's spring break.
" And I was looking out the window, thinking, "Who are you fooling? Spring break is dead.
" Gone are the throngs of college students stumbling from the beaches to the dive bars.
Gone are the dive bars themselves.
The boardwalk drinking holes and nightclubs fell like dominoes.
There's an art gallery where Chattanooga Charlie's used to be.
How, High Are You is a goddamn day spa.
And who says crime doesn't pay? Clyde Pickett is rolling in it.
He sells classic cars out of the Comrade Quacks location to men who want to be reminded of the days way back when before they became assholes.
Each car a Rosebud.
Sorry.
Where was I? Oh, yeah.
Hu's Reduced.
It closed a couple months ago.
The upscale market taking over the location promises wine tastings and light jazz in an al fresco setting.
Which is nice, if you're not one of the customers who relied on Triple Coupon Tuesdays to put food on the table.
By next year, there won't be a property on the beach costing less than $10 million.
Nestled among all the monuments to bad taste and income inequality there's one place the rabble will be able to afford to spend a few days at the beach the Sea Sprite.
It's set to open in six months.
After the NUTT resolutions passed, so many of the boardwalk businesses folded rather than deal with the huge cash outlay that the new regulations required.
Somehow Matty found a way to pay off the Sea Sprite's debts and keep the place in business.
It wasn't long after the NUTT resolutions passed that the city did away with its rent control ordinances and I lost my 600 square feet of beachfront lodging.
I wasn't gonna be able to afford it anyway.
I crashed at my dad's place after his hip replacement surgery and we pretended it was me nursing him back to health.
REPORTER ON TV: Chief Langdon, some say your desire to leave Neptune for greener pastures in San Diego may have led you to take shortcuts in the investigation.
It's not something they say to my face.
But on the day of the Kane High dedication ceremony, police were nowhere to be found.
Survival hinged on the Mars family.
SINGER: Over and over I keep going over The world We Knew Sorry.
You asked a question about me, and I told you all about my hometown, all about the case.
JANE: It's quite a story, though.
I followed it in the newspaper.
After the documentary aired, a survey showed that only 40% of America thinks Penn did it.
JANE: Hm.
He really is an evil genius.
Who knew? What do you think Logan would think about you coming to see me? [SHORT LAUGH.]
I think he'd be pissed it took me this long.
I think he'd be impressed.
Reaching out shows me that you are on your way.
To what? To well-being.
I'm afraid we're out of time, but I'd love to talk to you some more.
Maybe by phone.
I'm heading out of town, and I'm not sure when I'll be back.
Vacation? A case.
Since the documentary, we're been getting calls from everywhere.
Which is good 'cause I kind of want to be anywhere but here.
What's your dad going to do without you? VERONICA: Oh, I think he'll manage.
He's got a girlfriend now.
Plus, he's gonna have Pony for a while.
["FARAWAY LOOK" BY YOLA.]
You lit the candles on the cake - And threw the match - VERONICA: And he found someone to help around the office.
keep him in line.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Mars Investigations.
JANE: If I might not see you for a while, - [PHONE CHIMES.]
- there is something that I think you should have.
I'll email it to you.
On your wedding day, I asked Logan if he was sure he wanted to get married.
He said he was.
But I guess he wasn't satisfied with his answer, because after our session he called my house and left this message.
- - YOLA: That faraway look In your eyes LOGAN [RECORDING.]
: Is it weird to want to marry someone because you respect her? Because you want to be like her? Because you want children who will inherit her qualities? YOLA: That faraway look LOGAN: I want to marry Veronica 'cause she's the toughest human being I've ever met.
Blows that would destroy most people she always picks herself back up.
["FARAWAY LOOK" ENDS.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
We're not getting married.
How's Logan takin' the rejected marriage proposal? I left the number for my therapist.
Maybe you should give her a call.
You're home.
You still have that ring? CLYDE: I understand you're interested in finding the scumbag responsible for bombing the Sea Sprite.
The bomb was just supposed to be a warning to Sul Ross, but, well, shit happens.
I don't care what you say, it's Big Dick.
He bought me a car.
- - I'm gonna prove he did it.
- [HORNS HONKING.]
- MAN: Asshole! But Penn wasn't the only one who knew about the nails.
The Murderheads knew, the police knew.
PENN: Jesus! What the hell?! There's an APB out for you.
Haven't you heard? You're the bomber everyone's looking for.
- What do you want? - Isn't it obvious? I want to hire you two to prove my innocence.
There's still a bomb out there, set to go off in 24 hours.
When it does you're gonna wish you had listened to me.
What do you want, money? I'll pay double your rate.
I I'll triple it.
Yeah, it's less of a money thing and more of a "we think you're the Neptune Bomber" thing.
Okay, the irony isn't lost on me that you two are the reason I'm here.
But you're also the two most qualified people to prove my innocence.
Vanity Fair called you "whip smart.
" "The preternaturally gifted Veronica Mars," they said.
Want to get this one right too, don't you? I was thinking we already had.
I'm tellin' the truth.
You get to save lives.
And if I'm guilty, which I'm obviously not, you get a little bit of extra money and then you sleep with a clear conscience.
[VERONICA SIGHS.]
Fine.
Cliff can wire our retainer, he knows our rates.
We'll poke around.
Now, who else knows about the nail in Penn's back from the Sea Sprite explosion? Murderheads, police, doctors, us So, all of Neptune.
Cool.
[LAUGHS.]
Cool.
I'm just saying, two minutes ago it had to be me, and now it's literally anybody.
Well, if we're entertaining anyone, there's the squirrely frat boys.
The one who tried to kill himself The fr The frat boys, are you kidding?! No! The nail! Follow the nail! Murderheads, hospital, police That's your arena! [DOOR OPENS.]
- Goddamnit.
- Time's up.
Great.
Please solve this.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Pushed back pretty hard on the frat boy thing.
Oh, you noticed that too, huh? Shall we pay the Pi Sigs a visit? - You should, Veronica.
I'm not.
- VERONICA: Damnit, Dad Sorry, you picked the wrong day to retire.
Gut it up.
[CLIFF CLEARS THROAT.]
Unless Marcia finds something else, she's gonna have to let pizza guy go in 16 hours.
Couple hours before the bomb is supposed to go off.
If we're reading the limerick correctly.
"Three laps 'round the sun, midday" I'm no detective, but that seems pretty clear.
Tomorrow.
Noon.
Then boom.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
SINGER: A long time ago We used to be friends But I haven't thought of you lately at all Bring it on, bring it on, yeah Just remember me when We used to be friends A long time ago We used to be friends A long time ago We used to be friends Hey [SCOFFS.]
Man child.
[BEEP.]
- - [BEEPING.]
[BEEPING CONTINUES.]
[BEEPING CONTINUES.]
[UNLOCKS DEADBOLT.]
Hello? [BEEPING.]
[BEEPING.]
[BEEPING STOPS.]
[LOUD CRACK.]
[CELL PHONE RINGS.]
[RINGS.]
B.
D.
, what can I do for you? There's an intruder in my house.
CLYDE: Probably just those skaters sneaking' in to use your pool again.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Get your ass over here right now! Call me back if that's not the problem.
Bye, Dick.
- [LOUD CLICK.]
- [MATTY GASPS.]
[LOUD SPLASH.]
What the hell's going' on here? ALONZO: ¡Gran polla! How's it going, my man? Nice piece there.
Hey, I don't know you.
Of course you do.
I'm Edwin.
I maintain your azaleas and I clean up the hedges.
I'm here twice a week.
[ALONZO CONTINUES, MUFFLED.]
[FOOTSTEPS.]
[BIG DICK SPEAKING, MUFFLED.]
[PATIO DOOR OPENS.]
BIG DICK: You wanna tell me why you're copying my hard drive? Hard drive? Hey, don't play dumb with me, esé.
You tell me who the hell you are and what you want, and maybe I won't shoot you in self-defense.
ALONZO: You're right.
I'm not your gardener.
- You got me.
- Right.
I'm here because you killed my boss's nephew.
- [DEVICE BEEPS.]
- What? BIG DICK [RECORDING.]
: The bomb was supposed to go off in the middle of the night.
It was just supposed to be a warning to Sul Ross, but, well, shit happens.
The internet went down and messed up the timer.
[BIG DICK CHUCKLES.]
Don't judge [BIG DICK GROANS.]
Shit happens, my friend.
[BIG DICK GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[THUD.]
[INAUDIBLE DISCUSSION.]
Huh.
[STARTS CAR, REVS ENGINE.]
Let's go home.
Ya think? We have a choice? [HAWK SCREECHES IN DISTANCE.]
I guess not.
You mind finding me a trash can liner? I don't want to get any blood in the Yukon.
[ALONZO SIGHS.]
VERONICA: Of course I'm taking your name after we get married! I'm nothing if not old-fashioned.
Veronica Echolls? I'm not seeing it.
I think the Echolls is radioactive.
I was gonna take your first name.
- Veronica Logan? - VERONICA: Mm-hm.
Or you know what we could do? I could change my last name to Mars! Is it unconventional? Yes.
Is it crazy? Who's to say? "Logan Mars.
" That sounds like a guy who plays by his own rules.
LOGAN: Okay.
So who have you told so far about our pending nuptials? Uh, you.
Why? Who have you told? Dick, my Aunt Naomi um, my captain, couple guys at the gym, the guy at the juice place who asked why I was smiling Who knew Logan Mars was such a chick? I'd say I was expressing the enthusiasm that the milestone demands.
I'm enthusiastic.
I just need to keep my dad focused until we find this bomb.
Otherwise he's gonna want to talk wedding dresses and guest list.
Don't you roll your eyes at me! I will marry your ass right now.
PostMate that shit.
I'll put my bra back on! I'm a hundred percent serious! You're off the hook for tonight.
I don't wanna be off the hook.
I'm tired of being a dusty old spinster.
Let's do it tomorrow.
Are you serious? County Clerk's office.
At four.
I mean, if it hasn't been blown up.
I could make that work.
So, we're doing this? It's basically already done.
Honeymoon? Why not.
Where? I have to check my Groupons.
- Okay.
- [VERONICA LAUGHS.]
VERONICA: I don't understand.
Two brand-new DHR2019s.
I thought I left 'em in my desk drawer.
Hopefully, once we put the fear of God into this Pi Sig, he'll open up and we won't have to worry about a leave-behind.
You didn't move 'em, did you? KEITH: Well, no, but who the hell knows? I don't remember pouring this, but apparently I did.
- [OPENS DRAWER.]
- Or I did.
- Oh, yeah.
Did I thank you? - Hm, only with your eyes.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
- [VERONICA SIGHS.]
Keith Mars.
Oh.
Hey, I didn't hear you come in.
Oh.
Sorry.
You didn't happen to see two DSH2019 listening devices, did you? Yeah, I I put them in here.
- [OPENS DRAWER.]
- You did? They've been opened.
Uh, yeah.
Sorry, that was me.
I just wanted to see how they worked.
That was the Chief of Police on the phone.
Big Dick Casablancas was killed last night.
The maid found what was left of him this morning.
What was left of him? He'd been beheaded.
Oh, my God.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Yeah, that's just it's crazy.
Matty I need to know that you're okay.
I'm I'm golden.
Nothin' to see here.
Scout's honor.
We should go, Veronica.
Uh, mind if I hang out here for a bit? Just charge my phone and whatnot? Make yourself at home.
Oh, she will.
- You ready for this? - 'Course I'm ready.
Well, we're gonna have to lean on him.
Hard.
- But he wants to crack, I can tell.
- KEITH: Yeah? It's not gonna be pretty.
Veronica, I'm fine.
[CRYING.]
I don't get what this has to do with the bombings.
Stop blubbering and tell us what happened.
I told you! Nothing! Look, kid, people might die today.
And if they do, I'm gonna go take pictures of their bodies, ripped apart by shrapnel, guts spilling out, I'm gonna bring 'em back here and rub your nose in 'em, reminding you you could have saved 'em, but you didn't.
Because you couldn't get your shit together - and you couldn't tell us the truth.
- Veronica! BLAKE: They're gonna kill me.
Who's gonna kill you? Campbell and Darren.
Your pledge brothers? Yeah, I think they killed Patrick.
What? Why? To shut him up, so he wouldn't tell.
Tell what, Blake? About the pizza guy.
It was the end of Pledge Week.
We just got the shit hazed out of us.
And we're partying on the beach, just drunk off our asses.
[SNIFFLES.]
Somebody orders pizza, and the delivery guy shows up with the wrong order.
We're pissed about our order, and the deliver guy smarts off.
So we chased him into the surf and dunked him.
Over and over.
And he kept saying that he couldn't swim, and then he disappeared under a wave and didn't come back up.
And Patrick and I wanted to call the police, but Campbell and Darren said no frickin' way were we gonna tell anyone.
And Patrick kept saying that he couldn't keep a secret.
We decided to wait until morning, wait until we sobered up, and then figure out what to do.
But I woke up in the middle of the night and Patrick's tent is on fire and I can hear him screaming.
You're sure the delivery guy drowned? No.
Sometimes I think I dreamed the pizza guy.
What did he look like? The pizza delivery guy.
I remember Campbell kept calling him Frodo, because he looked like a hobbit.
Is this him? I can't be sure.
I was so wasted, and I've spent three years trying to forget.
[PATS SHOULDER.]
KEITH: Good man.
April 12th, 2015 okay, uh Yes.
Penn was working that night.
Would you be able to tell us where he delivered pizzas? You're computerized, right? When I called the other day, you knew my name, you knew my regular order We computerized a couple years ago.
Before then it was just paper tickets.
Can we take a look at those? There's a buttload.
Still MANAGER: It'd be somewhere in here.
- KEITH: Ugh.
Any sorting strategy? - None that I know of.
From 2004.
Mind if we have an employee come by to go through them? We're under the wire here.
Why not? Hey.
That was quick.
What's the good news? Well we figured out why you didn't want us to go back and talk to the frat boys.
Yeah, 'cause it's a waste of time.
I'll refresh your memory.
Three years ago, you deliver a pizza to a fraternity beach party.
But you screw up the order.
The dissatisfied customers throw you into the ocean.
They're animals, like all the spring breakers you deliver to.
You survive, barely.
You want revenge.
I-I literally have no idea what you're talking about.
You swing back by after your shift and set a tent on fire, killing one of the Pi Sigs who tormented you.
Th Okay, this is insane.
You know that, right? One of the surviving frat boys already described you.
"Looks like a hobbit.
Kind of a dipshit.
" Hey, that rhymes.
You love that crap.
So now you're just flat-out insulting me.
[CELL PHONE RINGING.]
KEITH: What have you got? I got lucky.
I found the ticket you were looking for in the fourth box I searched.
It's April 12th, 2015, 11:32 p.
m.
, 46 Ocean Boulevard.
The driver's name is listed top right.
What's it say? Uh, "Don.
" - KEITH: You're sure? - Yeah.
Thanks, Matty.
Bye.
She found the ticket.
Penn didn't deliver that pizza.
Well, well, well.
I don't suppose some driver named Don mysteriously disappeared three years ago? - Don?! - Don?! We know a Don? Yeah, I worked with him at Cho's back then.
He's a Murderhead.
He would know about the nail.
He's hobbit-shaped, and quite a dipshit.
Oh, one problem, though.
He lives in Washington, D.
C.
He's a political consultant.
Do you know that for sure? Well, thanks for checking.
You're sure there's no record after that? WOMAN: No, sorry.
I checked 'em all.
All right.
Thanks so much.
Bye.
Don failed out of Hearst his junior year.
Never graduated.
Delusions of grandeur, obsessed with serial killers, need to come out on top.
All of our theories hold up with this guy.
Well, there's only one Don McNotten in all of Southern California, and there's his driver's license.
And he lives 30 minutes away in San Diego.
I think it's time we call Marcia.
[CHATTER.]
Because I'm at the County Clerk's office right now looking at the title deeds.
My name isn't just on the Lansing Street building.
You put it on the Sarasota Ave Because it's fraud, Marc! I have to go.
Because I have to go.
[SIGHS.]
Everything okay, Parker? Other than having an ex-boyfriend overhear a conversation with my ex-husband? Well, for what it's worth, you were owning that conversation.
It's worth something.
Hello, Logan.
[LAUGHS.]
It's so good to see you.
- And you look great.
- [LAUGHS.]
Even better.
You know, if you would have seen me three years ago, you would have seen me blissfully happy.
Smug, really, about my perfect life and doting husband.
But you missed that part.
So here's me now.
But how are you? I'm doing good, yeah.
What brings you to the County Clerk's office? - Cruising chicks? - [LAUGHS.]
I'm picking up a marriage license.
Oh, Jesus! Congratulations! I'm sorry, please ignore my horror story.
I'm sure you picked a good one.
Who's the lucky girl? Well, you remember Veronica.
Does anyone forget Veronica? Wow.
You guys took your time.
- Yeah, we sure did.
- PARKER: Yeah.
Well, I gotta run, but please tell Veronica I say hello.
- Yeah, will do.
- Okay.
Oh, and, um enjoy the honeymoon phase.
It's the best part.
LOGAN: Wait, Parker! Good morning.
I am Marcia Langdon, chief of police here in Neptune.
Approximately 22 minutes ago, the San Diego Police Department raided Don McNotten's apartment, and they found bomb-making materials that match those used by the bomber that has been terrorizing Neptune.
Dandy Don is in trouble.
REPORTER: Is the suspect in custody? He seems to have recently fled, - Uh-oh.
- but we've issued an APB and urge anyone with information about his whereabouts to call our tip line.
REPORTER #2: Chief, have they found the bomb yet? MARCIA: We have officers and bomb-sniffing dogs combing the area around Fiji's Sandwich Shop.
You know who might have a sense where Don wandered off to? Do we have to? Ohh, fine.
- No hits on his credit card? - Not yet.
We got in touch with McNotten's sister.
- She hasn't heard from him.
- Thanks.
Let me know when Penn Epner is being released.
I want to talk to him first.
He got out 20 minutes ago.
Keith and Veronica Mars picked him up.
[COMPUTER CHIMING.]
Goddamn Chief Langdon.
They trashed the place.
Don's not picking up.
I don't think he's going to.
Penn, think.
Anywhere Don might have gone? People, places he mentioned? The Senate cloak room? I don't know.
For the last three years he's been pretending to be in D.
C.
Any places around here? [PENN SIGHS.]
Uh, power plant? I think someone would notice him.
No, the abandoned power plant south of the city.
Back in the day, that's where the Cho's delivery guys would go to "smoka da ganja.
" We should check it out.
Oh, yeah, my camera.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
- Something related to the case? - VERONICA: No.
Wallace is at the Kane High dedication.
Oh.
You hear that, pal? They named a school after you.
No.
This Kane.
You was robbed.
I suppose if there's going to be a separate high school for jag-offs, it's appropriate it has Jake Kane's name on it.
'Kay.
Let's go solve the case! What you got there, Penn? My detective bag.
Camera, binoculars, power bars.
Pee funnel.
Oh! Dad would have let you use his pee funnel.
- Wouldn't you, Dad? - We should go.
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
Nope.
Did you need to be driven closer, sir? I can't do all those steps.
I'll man the fort here at headquarters.
You sure? Maybe they have a chair lift and you can just [CLICKS TONGUE, IMITATES MOTOR.]
- [KEITH GROWLS.]
- VERONICA: No? [VERONICA SIGHS.]
Okay.
Wasn't like it is today: dispensary on every corner.
It was a nightmare finding good weed.
But, as luck would have it, Don's grandpa had glaucoma.
[RINGING.]
- Hi, Matty.
It's - MATTY [ON SPEAKER.]
: Eat me! - [STREET NOISE, HORNS HONKING.]
- Matty, it's Keith.
MATTY: Sorry, Mr.
Mars, I'm super late for this thing at Kane High, and the other drivers don't seem to care.
- [HORN HONKING.]
- MATTY: Let me in! How hard is that?! So what's up? MATTY: I kept going through those pizza tickets.
The one we pulled Don McNotten's delivery It was number 6-0-1-5-4.
Every other ticket from that night was in the eight thousands.
- Seemed weird.
- That is weird.
MATTY: Gets weirder.
There's one missing carbon from the eight thousands, and the one before it was an order at 11:29.
The one after it went out at 11:47.
Somebody tore out the original carbon.
MATTY: It had to be Penn.
Right? Thanks, Matty.
Gotta go.
Bye.
PENN: Ahh.
No sign of Don.
Can [SNIFFS.]
Something smells like shit.
Can we get out of here? VERONICA: Oh, God.
[INHALES, HOLDS BREATH.]
Veronica! Veronica! VERONICA: "My house now surrounded by po-po Seemed to mean that this bomber must go-go So pardon my messes, this bomber confesses There's yet one more bomb set to blow, yo.
" Suicide limerick.
It's gotta be a first.
- Drop the gun! Now! - What? I'm just - [GUN CLATTERS.]
- Dad? Matty called.
We found Don.
He's dead.
He wrote a suicide note-slash-confession.
And before you ask, yes, it's a limerick.
The receipt that showed Don made the delivery that night wasn't sequential.
It came from a different ticket book.
Like the ticket was put there later.
After I mentioned the frat boys at Murderheads, you planted it.
You're the pizza guy they thought they killed.
Can you Can you two hear yourselves? This is madness! We've got 22 minutes.
No more bullshit! Where's the goddamn bomb?! "There once was a killer named Penn Who met with a very bad end" You wanna help me finish that? Why rhymes with "lethal injection"? Bomb-sniffing dogs and most of the police force are 20 minutes away over by your place trying to find a bomb around Fiji's Sandwich Shop.
- And Marcia? - She's on her way here.
How many minutes till the bomb goes off? - KEITH: Fourteen.
- PENN: Okay.
Guys, on any given night at Cho's, we had multiple ticket books running.
The fact that they're out of sequence is not that strange.
We'll call Matty.
See if she finds other orders - from the same ticket book as Don's.
- Sure.
She's at the Kane High dedication thing.
- Oh, God.
- What? The bomb threat.
"I'll be gloating.
Bodies exploding.
The heroes upon whom we're doting.
" It's the ceremony honoring Jake Kane.
- What about the Fiji business? - I don't know, maybe it was put there to get us looking in the wrong direction? All right, we're ten minutes from the school.
Thirteen minutes till the bomb goes off.
Guys, listen to yourselves.
Whatever credibility you had is Call Wallace.
[CAR STARTS.]
[TIRES SQUEALING.]
- [MARCHING BAND PLAYING.]
- [CELL PHONE BUZZING.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
[SONG ENDS.]
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE.]
As many of you know, I had planned on retiring this year after 15 years as principal at Neptune High.
But when Superintendent Dillawitz showed me the blueprints for Kane High and asked me to take over here, I said, "You know what? I'm in!" [LAUGHTER, LIGHT APPLAUSE.]
What Neptune is today can be attributed to a man who revolutionized the high-tech industry: your school's namesake, Jake Kane! [APPLAUSE.]
KANE: Thank you so much.
[KANE CLEARING THROAT.]
Uh, thank you, everyone, for coming out today.
Ah, and thanks particularly to the, uh, Student Council advisor, to the band director, to the National Honor Society sponsor, and to all the coaches who made attendance mandatory today.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- And for those dedicated students who came out today entirely of their own volition to see a 60-year-old man wax nostalgic: Get a life, nerds.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- KANE: Seriously.
- [TIRES SQUEAL, HORN HONKING.]
- KANE: No, seriously.
[HORN HONKING.]
Is this a part of the program? [TIRES SQUEAL.]
- Veronica? - KANE: Wait, wait, wait.
All right.
Okay, you just - VERONICA: I need that microphone.
- No, no.
- KANE: You wait right there.
You - [SOUNDS OF STRUGGLE.]
[OVER P.
A.
.]
: Everyone needs to leave the area! PENN [SCREAMING.]
: Help! I'm a hostage! Help! They're insane! Someone help me! - Move, you dumb - [DRUMMER PLAYS RIM SHOT.]
PENN: Help! I said move! There's a bomb! [ALL SCREAMING.]
Orderly fashion, people.
Stay calm! Stay calm! KANE: Veronica, what do you think you're doing? A bomb is about to go off in 90 seconds somewhere around here.
You can either argue with me or you can help get kids out of here! You.
Get out and defuse the bomb.
We're not moving from this spot.
You are insane! Fine! We'll wait.
We can all die together.
Veronica, you need to leave the bomb radius too.
We don't need both of us babysitting this guy.
- Nice try - Goddamnit, Veronica, I've got this! It doesn't make any sense for both of us to stay here.
Just, if you love me, you go.
How about I leave and the two of you stay? - Dad - KEITH: I've got this, honey.
I've got this.
Got your affairs in order, pal? Look, maybe somebody else did plant the bomb around here and all you're doing is killing us both.
I'm really gonna have some egg on my face then, huh? [VERONICA PANTING.]
You know what, uh, chronic traumatic encephalopathy is? Th-The football thing? Your brain gives out on ya.
Pretty sure I've got it.
So, uh, you know, bowing out this way doesn't seem like the worst way to go.
How much time? Thirty seconds, if we're right.
But you know, we've been wrong before.
KEITH: How you gonna enjoy all your press coverage if you're not around to soak it up, Penn? Okay, I know where the bomb is! Get me outta here! Get me out! VERONICA: Ah, yes.
Yes! Come on, come on, come on.
PENN: Inside that thing! KEITH: Get in there and disarm it! - Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, - [SIREN APPROACHES.]
- seventeen - Stop.
[SIREN WAILING.]
- Jesus, come on! - KEITH: Hurry up.
- It's not coming, it's not coming! - KEITH: Any time now.
- It's not coming! - [BOMB BEEPING.]
PENN: The yellow one! [BEEPING RAPIDLY.]
MATTY [PANTING.]
: Veronica! - [ONLOOKERS CHATTER.]
- [SIREN WAILING.]
[VERONICA GASPS.]
[CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING.]
REPORTER: Veronica, how does it feel to be a hero? My dad's the hero.
Go talk to him.
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
[PENN GRUNTS.]
Those were real people you killed.
It wasn't a game.
[SIGHS.]
Those weren't people, Mars.
Those were spring breakers.
Locusts.
Barbarians at the gate.
Hey, you know what? I bet I get married in prison.
Some lonely hottie's gonna start sending me letters.
There'll be a whole "Free Penn Epner" movement.
T-shirts, merchandise, Go Fund Me page.
Face it, Mars.
I'm always a few steps ahead.
My contingencies have contingencies.
I'm gonna have the time of my life.
You've made me famous.
Piece of advice.
If you don't agree to play yourself in the inevitable documentary, they're just gonna hire some shit actress to play you in the reenactments, so might wanna talk to some agents.
- I'll give you some names.
- You're gross.
I'll tell you what, hero.
If you're still around, come visit me in prison.
We'll reassess.
I mean after we process all of this.
[LAUGHING.]
You threw me in the briar patch, Mars! VERONICA: That's guy's a dick.
KEITH: That routing number again: 9-8-9-8-3-2-5-1.
I appreciate it, Mr.
Linden.
Terribly sorry for your loss.
All right, then.
Goodbye.
Bravo, Keith.
I mean, how does this feel? Savior of Neptune.
Saver of lives.
Is that your "get the key to the city" suit? I just found out Veronica's getting married.
I'm on my way.
Well, mazel tov.
What are you doin' here, Clyde? I'm feting my new friend.
KEITH: We've been down this road already.
What's What's crawled up your ass? Oh, I suppose you're sensing some umbrage at nearly losing my daughter while pursuing our serial bomber.
So I take it I'm drinkin' alone.
Look, Keith whatever part Big Dick may or may not have played in the Sea Sprite bombing, I swear to you, I had nothin' to do with it.
That was between him and Perry Walsh.
Yeah, he asked me to keep an eye on you after you started pokin' around in our business interests, see what you knew.
But come on, I mean, you were workin' me as much as I was workin' you, am I right? I just figured a couple of old pros havin' a good time on Big Dick's dime was what the guy deserved.
But you did help him drive down the real estate market on the boardwalk with your Chino pals.
When I got out of prison, I was a dead-broke, 60-year-old ex-con with no skills outside of robbin' banks.
What am I supposed to do, apply at Cinnabon? Look, Keith I like you.
And it's not easy for guys our age, in our line of work, to find people they really enjoy.
So I'd like to just put this in the past.
Start over.
Can we do that? I don't think so, Clyde.
Test results got delivered to Big Dick's, your billing address.
I hope it's good news, Keith.
I'll see you around.
[TAKES DEEP BREATH.]
LOGAN: Parker's husband, he takes up with a blackjack dealer.
She said it was like wakin' up with a stranger.
What I'm interested in is you following this ex-girlfriend out to the parking lot.
I mean, you're there to get a marriage license, but you leave the building to hear the sad story of an ex-girlfriend.
Why do you think you did that? I guess I just want to go into this with my eyes wide open.
You've been talking about wanting to marry Veronica for a long time.
Well here you are.
Here I am.
JANE: The dog that caught the car.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yeah.
Are you sure it's what you want? KEITH: There she is.
Ah.
You look beautiful, honey.
- Wow.
You went full Windsor.
- Hm.
- It's fancy.
- Hm.
Where's Logan? Uh, he's been running errands all day.
He does not know the details of our brush with death, and my vote is to keep him in the dark.
Hm.
It's like you're married already.
You seem awfully jovial.
Did you tip a couple back before you came here? No.
I was just sitting there, and it dawned on me how little this wedding is gonna set me back.
How much was that license, uh uh, twenty bucks? Sixty.
Ooh! That's a little rich for my blood.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh! Oh, there was one other thing.
A hush fell over the crowd.
I got my medical report back from Big Dick's fancy Beverly Hills doctors, and it turns out my brain is fine.
It was, uh, an improper combination of my many and sundry medications that were causing my brain slips.
Doc said we adjust that and I get a hip replacement, I'm back to bein' Neptune's go-to crimebuster and most eligible bachelor.
- [VERONICA GASPS.]
- KEITH: Mm.
Mmm.
- [LAUGHS.]
- KEITH: Yeah.
I don't think Headless Dick is gonna spring for that hip replacement.
No, but our reward money was transferred into our account this afternoon.
Don't look now, but we may both be havin' the greatest days of our lives.
Is that what this foreign sensation is? So pleasurable! I could get used to this.
Ahh, sorry I'm late.
Shae's in court and the babysitter was late.
Man! Using "the babysitter was late" excuse when required seems like the best reason to have kids.
Don't have children, Veronica.
Where's the groom? - He's Mr.
Punctuality.
- VERONICA: Yeah, where is that guy? [PHONE CHIMES.]
Veronica? What? What's it say? "Sorry.
" Aw, honey.
WALLACE: That's it.
"Sorry.
" [HUMORLESS CHUCKLE.]
Where does he get off? I mean, really, where does he get off? Echolls-Mars wedding? I'm afraid there's been a change.
VERONICA: It [SIGHS.]
LOGAN: Hold on, I'm comin'! Let's do this thing! - What? - We thought you weren't coming.
I'm four minutes late and I pre-apologized.
With a text saying "Sorry"? I'll give you a couple minutes.
No, stay right there.
I texted, "Sorry, I'm running a few minutes late.
" Well, this is what I got.
I can see how that could be confusing.
[SIGHS.]
I dictated the text.
I blame Siri.
But I'm here now.
There's no place I'd rather be.
CLERK: Excellent.
Follow me.
Maybe later you can tell me why Principal Clemmons was on the radio describing you as a hero.
I didn't get to hear the whole thing.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe.
SINGER: Withered and blown Do you, Logan, take Veronica as your lawfully wedded wife? I do.
CLERK: And do you, Veronica, take Logan to be your lawfully wedded husband? - Yeah, why not? - [ALL CHUCKLE.]
By the power vested in me by the State of California, I pronounce you husband and wife.
Is this where we kiss? I'm a civil servant.
It's your call.
Let's go for it.
I'm nothin' if not traditional.
[APPLAUDING.]
KEITH: Okay, let's get a room.
[VERONICA, LOGAN LAUGH.]
It was weird.
He was gloating, acting like going to prison was all part of his plan, like he had won.
He kept talking about the eventual true crime documentary and saying if I'm "still around" I should stop by prison so he could gloat.
"Sedona's main attraction is its array of red sandstone formations.
" Second thing we'll do once we get there.
It's a seven-hour drive.
Out of here by six, get there by two a.
m.
? That's eight hours, Einstein.
Plus one, 'cause they're on Mountain Time.
So there.
Oh, shit.
You're right.
I think I'm gonna shower first.
[TURNS ON WATER.]
[PHONE BUZZING.]
Yeah, I'm movin' the car.
- VERONICA: What? - LOGAN: Movin' the car! VERONICA: Logan? Wait a minute.
Arizona doesn't do daylight savings time.
Logan! [KEYS JINGLING.]
Hey! They don't do daylight savings time in Arizona! So I'm claiming half-credit.
Even though Yeah? What's the time difference in Fiji? Penn's limerick.
"Midday 'round Fiji"? Yeah, hold that thought.
I'm movin' it! [SIGHS.]
"Heroes upon whom we're doting.
" I'll tell ya what, hero.
[PENN, INAUDIBLE.]
[GASPS.]
VERONICA: Logan! [SCREAMS.]
[CAR ALARM BLARING.]
SINGER: Come on, come on, turn the radio on RADIO DJ: Pull out your pony kegs and lock up your daughters, Neptune! It's that time of year again! Spring break! This one goes out to my hard partiers.
Don't do anything "Wild Man on the Mic" Mike Wilde wouldn't d VERONICA: On my way to see you, a DJ came on the radio and was like, "Time to party, Neptune, it's spring break.
" And I was looking out the window, thinking, "Who are you fooling? Spring break is dead.
" Gone are the throngs of college students stumbling from the beaches to the dive bars.
Gone are the dive bars themselves.
The boardwalk drinking holes and nightclubs fell like dominoes.
There's an art gallery where Chattanooga Charlie's used to be.
How, High Are You is a goddamn day spa.
And who says crime doesn't pay? Clyde Pickett is rolling in it.
He sells classic cars out of the Comrade Quacks location to men who want to be reminded of the days way back when before they became assholes.
Each car a Rosebud.
Sorry.
Where was I? Oh, yeah.
Hu's Reduced.
It closed a couple months ago.
The upscale market taking over the location promises wine tastings and light jazz in an al fresco setting.
Which is nice, if you're not one of the customers who relied on Triple Coupon Tuesdays to put food on the table.
By next year, there won't be a property on the beach costing less than $10 million.
Nestled among all the monuments to bad taste and income inequality there's one place the rabble will be able to afford to spend a few days at the beach the Sea Sprite.
It's set to open in six months.
After the NUTT resolutions passed, so many of the boardwalk businesses folded rather than deal with the huge cash outlay that the new regulations required.
Somehow Matty found a way to pay off the Sea Sprite's debts and keep the place in business.
It wasn't long after the NUTT resolutions passed that the city did away with its rent control ordinances and I lost my 600 square feet of beachfront lodging.
I wasn't gonna be able to afford it anyway.
I crashed at my dad's place after his hip replacement surgery and we pretended it was me nursing him back to health.
REPORTER ON TV: Chief Langdon, some say your desire to leave Neptune for greener pastures in San Diego may have led you to take shortcuts in the investigation.
It's not something they say to my face.
But on the day of the Kane High dedication ceremony, police were nowhere to be found.
Survival hinged on the Mars family.
SINGER: Over and over I keep going over The world We Knew Sorry.
You asked a question about me, and I told you all about my hometown, all about the case.
JANE: It's quite a story, though.
I followed it in the newspaper.
After the documentary aired, a survey showed that only 40% of America thinks Penn did it.
JANE: Hm.
He really is an evil genius.
Who knew? What do you think Logan would think about you coming to see me? [SHORT LAUGH.]
I think he'd be pissed it took me this long.
I think he'd be impressed.
Reaching out shows me that you are on your way.
To what? To well-being.
I'm afraid we're out of time, but I'd love to talk to you some more.
Maybe by phone.
I'm heading out of town, and I'm not sure when I'll be back.
Vacation? A case.
Since the documentary, we're been getting calls from everywhere.
Which is good 'cause I kind of want to be anywhere but here.
What's your dad going to do without you? VERONICA: Oh, I think he'll manage.
He's got a girlfriend now.
Plus, he's gonna have Pony for a while.
["FARAWAY LOOK" BY YOLA.]
You lit the candles on the cake - And threw the match - VERONICA: And he found someone to help around the office.
keep him in line.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Mars Investigations.
JANE: If I might not see you for a while, - [PHONE CHIMES.]
- there is something that I think you should have.
I'll email it to you.
On your wedding day, I asked Logan if he was sure he wanted to get married.
He said he was.
But I guess he wasn't satisfied with his answer, because after our session he called my house and left this message.
- - YOLA: That faraway look In your eyes LOGAN [RECORDING.]
: Is it weird to want to marry someone because you respect her? Because you want to be like her? Because you want children who will inherit her qualities? YOLA: That faraway look LOGAN: I want to marry Veronica 'cause she's the toughest human being I've ever met.
Blows that would destroy most people she always picks herself back up.
["FARAWAY LOOK" ENDS.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]