Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s04e09 Episode Script
Princess Monster Wife
[Mouse squeaks.]
[Penguins wenk.]
[All cheering.]
[Screeches.]
Adventure time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time Aah! My arm! Ohh! My face! Hmm.
[Grunts.]
This happens sometimes.
[Whimpering.]
FINN: Wait, what?! Oh, my gosh! How many times do I have to tell you? Somebody broke into my house and stole my lumps! [Indistinct conversations.]
Peebo? [Slurring.]
Hey, hey, how-a mah haah! Eww! Uh Okay.
Calm down.
How am I supposed to calm down? Lumping thief is out there, getting fresh with my lumps! [Laughs.]
Gross.
[Indistinct conversations.]
Whoa! Whoa! Gals, we'll find this crazy freak and return all of your body parts.
Thank you so much, Finn! [Whimpering.]
I shall give you a kiss.
[Grunting.]
It's it's okay, Hot Dog Princess.
We'll be right back.
ICE KING: I said I don't know! [Sighs.]
I have nothing to do with this.
Stop lying.
We found your fingerprints at the crime scene.
What?! Really?! Uh no.
[Laughs.]
Oh, well, then why would you say that? Ice King, we know you did it! Finn, I'm as concerned as you are.
There's some sicko out there.
What if he comes after my Princess? BOTH: Your Princess? Yeah.
Let me introduce you to my new wife.
[Both gasp.]
Oh, wait, you mean I'm the guy stealing all the p [chuckles.]
Yeah, okay.
I get it now.
[Moaning.]
[Both scream.]
[Moaning continues.]
[Grunts.]
[Thud!.]
[Hyperventilating.]
[Thud!.]
What happened to them, husband? Hmm? Um, ah! They're sleepy.
They're our limp, sleepy children.
Come on, wife.
Let's have a nice family meal.
Okay.
Wife, you sit right here.
Isn't this nice? [Chewing noisily.]
[Splat!.]
Uh-oh.
I mean, that's good.
[Splat!.]
Oops! [Laughs.]
How fun! You're so fun! [Laughs.]
Mmm.
[Splat!.]
[Laughs.]
Oh, marriage is fun.
See? When you wash and I dry, we get done faster.
And then tomorrow night, we switch.
[Groans.]
Here.
Let me show you a trick, my darling.
See? You let it soak, and then we'll wash it in the morning.
[Laughs.]
Enough chores.
Come along, dear.
I want to show you something special.
[Twinkle!.]
[Soft rock plays.]
Let me show you something special [cat meows.]
I can introduce your parts to something new Every moment now is special Just as long as I am spending it with you You and you and you There is so much beauty in this land of ice The air is cold But my feelings feel so warm and nice [harmonizing.]
Every turn and spin Will remind us where we've been Will remind us when we've found something special [cat meows.]
Will remind us when we've found something special Here it is.
I hope you like it.
Hmm.
[Ominous music plays.]
[Squeak!.]
You like? Is there something wrong with me? The way I am it's not normal, is it? Oh, pretty baby wife.
You're the most normal thing in my whole life.
We're like two normal jelly beans sitting at the bottom of the jar, floating in a sea of olives, waiting for somebody to guess how many jelly beans are in the jar, which I mentioned.
I don't think I understand.
Just look into my eyes and know that everything is okay.
Are you feeling normal yet? [Giggles.]
[Chuckles.]
Okay.
[Cat meows.]
See that? We're normal, just like the normal people are.
Oh.
[Penguin hissing.]
Lady, don't take my pizza.
Huh? What's a [groans.]
M-m-mons mons mons Finn, what? Are you saying "Mama"? What are you? Hi! M-m-m-monster! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Aah! Ugh.
[Sobbing.]
Oh, don't mind the kids.
It's just a phase.
[Sniffling.]
I need a glass of water.
Oh, I'll go get No.
It's okay.
I'll get it.
You are not normal.
You are a monster! Hey, hey, hey.
Monster! A monster! What's going on in here? Nobody's a monster.
All I see in this room is a young, kind-hearted, intelligent, hot-looking Ice King and his beautiful Princess bride.
That's you, sweetie.
I don't feel beautiful.
I feel like a freak.
I will prove to you that you are beautiful.
To me, my penguins.
Goonter, Gunther, Gunder, Goonder, come on! [Penguins wenking.]
Gunter, Gunthe, Gaunter, Ginther, follow! Don't rearrange the chairs, please.
You're all gonna clap and cheer, or I'm gonna smack your buns.
[Runway music plays.]
Whoo! Yeah! Clap louder.
You got to be all "Whoo!" [Whistling.]
[Smooch!.]
If you look at her with these mirrors, her ugliness will have no effect on us.
Well, where is she? Oh, I think she's right over [both moan.]
[Thud!.]
[Smooching.]
Hey! [Penguins wenking.]
[Sobbing.]
Baby, you want to talk about it? [Sniffles.]
PRINCESS: You should just find another Princess to marry.
I'm unlovable! Girl, I love you as much as all the other Princesses in the world combined.
You don't really mean that.
I'll prove it.
See? You have Elbow Princess' hips and Doctor Princess' heart and intestines, Slime Princess' bottom.
You have all my favorite parts of my favorite Princesses.
I'm just a bunch of stolen parts? Oh, the parts don't matter.
It's you that matters.
But who am I? You're my wife, and I will always love my wife, no matter what.
You'd love me even without these other Princesses' parts? Sure, baby.
Even without all your fine lady parts.
Now give us a hug.
Mmm.
FINN: Hey, Ice King! Huh?! Your wife's face can't make us faint anymore.
[Gasps.]
Don't listen to them, babe.
They're being negative.
Haahh! Aah! Run, my happiness.
I'll distract them with ice magi [whack! Whack!.]
[Growls.]
Ouch.
[Panting.]
Aha! Aah! [Thud!.]
Yaaahhh! [Grunts.]
[Ploink!.]
Aah! Aah! You give up? Yes! [Coughs.]
I give up.
Finally.
Let's get those princess parts back to the ladies.
Yeah, mans.
Wait, where'd your wife go? [Murmuring.]
Huh? [Gasps.]
Let me go! Let me go! PRINCESS: Though my parts be scattered, I shall always be your wife.
She [sniffles.]
She gave away all my stuff! Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree This party is so crazy!
[Penguins wenk.]
[All cheering.]
[Screeches.]
Adventure time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time Aah! My arm! Ohh! My face! Hmm.
[Grunts.]
This happens sometimes.
[Whimpering.]
FINN: Wait, what?! Oh, my gosh! How many times do I have to tell you? Somebody broke into my house and stole my lumps! [Indistinct conversations.]
Peebo? [Slurring.]
Hey, hey, how-a mah haah! Eww! Uh Okay.
Calm down.
How am I supposed to calm down? Lumping thief is out there, getting fresh with my lumps! [Laughs.]
Gross.
[Indistinct conversations.]
Whoa! Whoa! Gals, we'll find this crazy freak and return all of your body parts.
Thank you so much, Finn! [Whimpering.]
I shall give you a kiss.
[Grunting.]
It's it's okay, Hot Dog Princess.
We'll be right back.
ICE KING: I said I don't know! [Sighs.]
I have nothing to do with this.
Stop lying.
We found your fingerprints at the crime scene.
What?! Really?! Uh no.
[Laughs.]
Oh, well, then why would you say that? Ice King, we know you did it! Finn, I'm as concerned as you are.
There's some sicko out there.
What if he comes after my Princess? BOTH: Your Princess? Yeah.
Let me introduce you to my new wife.
[Both gasp.]
Oh, wait, you mean I'm the guy stealing all the p [chuckles.]
Yeah, okay.
I get it now.
[Moaning.]
[Both scream.]
[Moaning continues.]
[Grunts.]
[Thud!.]
[Hyperventilating.]
[Thud!.]
What happened to them, husband? Hmm? Um, ah! They're sleepy.
They're our limp, sleepy children.
Come on, wife.
Let's have a nice family meal.
Okay.
Wife, you sit right here.
Isn't this nice? [Chewing noisily.]
[Splat!.]
Uh-oh.
I mean, that's good.
[Splat!.]
Oops! [Laughs.]
How fun! You're so fun! [Laughs.]
Mmm.
[Splat!.]
[Laughs.]
Oh, marriage is fun.
See? When you wash and I dry, we get done faster.
And then tomorrow night, we switch.
[Groans.]
Here.
Let me show you a trick, my darling.
See? You let it soak, and then we'll wash it in the morning.
[Laughs.]
Enough chores.
Come along, dear.
I want to show you something special.
[Twinkle!.]
[Soft rock plays.]
Let me show you something special [cat meows.]
I can introduce your parts to something new Every moment now is special Just as long as I am spending it with you You and you and you There is so much beauty in this land of ice The air is cold But my feelings feel so warm and nice [harmonizing.]
Every turn and spin Will remind us where we've been Will remind us when we've found something special [cat meows.]
Will remind us when we've found something special Here it is.
I hope you like it.
Hmm.
[Ominous music plays.]
[Squeak!.]
You like? Is there something wrong with me? The way I am it's not normal, is it? Oh, pretty baby wife.
You're the most normal thing in my whole life.
We're like two normal jelly beans sitting at the bottom of the jar, floating in a sea of olives, waiting for somebody to guess how many jelly beans are in the jar, which I mentioned.
I don't think I understand.
Just look into my eyes and know that everything is okay.
Are you feeling normal yet? [Giggles.]
[Chuckles.]
Okay.
[Cat meows.]
See that? We're normal, just like the normal people are.
Oh.
[Penguin hissing.]
Lady, don't take my pizza.
Huh? What's a [groans.]
M-m-mons mons mons Finn, what? Are you saying "Mama"? What are you? Hi! M-m-m-monster! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Aah! Ugh.
[Sobbing.]
Oh, don't mind the kids.
It's just a phase.
[Sniffling.]
I need a glass of water.
Oh, I'll go get No.
It's okay.
I'll get it.
You are not normal.
You are a monster! Hey, hey, hey.
Monster! A monster! What's going on in here? Nobody's a monster.
All I see in this room is a young, kind-hearted, intelligent, hot-looking Ice King and his beautiful Princess bride.
That's you, sweetie.
I don't feel beautiful.
I feel like a freak.
I will prove to you that you are beautiful.
To me, my penguins.
Goonter, Gunther, Gunder, Goonder, come on! [Penguins wenking.]
Gunter, Gunthe, Gaunter, Ginther, follow! Don't rearrange the chairs, please.
You're all gonna clap and cheer, or I'm gonna smack your buns.
[Runway music plays.]
Whoo! Yeah! Clap louder.
You got to be all "Whoo!" [Whistling.]
[Smooch!.]
If you look at her with these mirrors, her ugliness will have no effect on us.
Well, where is she? Oh, I think she's right over [both moan.]
[Thud!.]
[Smooching.]
Hey! [Penguins wenking.]
[Sobbing.]
Baby, you want to talk about it? [Sniffles.]
PRINCESS: You should just find another Princess to marry.
I'm unlovable! Girl, I love you as much as all the other Princesses in the world combined.
You don't really mean that.
I'll prove it.
See? You have Elbow Princess' hips and Doctor Princess' heart and intestines, Slime Princess' bottom.
You have all my favorite parts of my favorite Princesses.
I'm just a bunch of stolen parts? Oh, the parts don't matter.
It's you that matters.
But who am I? You're my wife, and I will always love my wife, no matter what.
You'd love me even without these other Princesses' parts? Sure, baby.
Even without all your fine lady parts.
Now give us a hug.
Mmm.
FINN: Hey, Ice King! Huh?! Your wife's face can't make us faint anymore.
[Gasps.]
Don't listen to them, babe.
They're being negative.
Haahh! Aah! Run, my happiness.
I'll distract them with ice magi [whack! Whack!.]
[Growls.]
Ouch.
[Panting.]
Aha! Aah! [Thud!.]
Yaaahhh! [Grunts.]
[Ploink!.]
Aah! Aah! You give up? Yes! [Coughs.]
I give up.
Finally.
Let's get those princess parts back to the ladies.
Yeah, mans.
Wait, where'd your wife go? [Murmuring.]
Huh? [Gasps.]
Let me go! Let me go! PRINCESS: Though my parts be scattered, I shall always be your wife.
She [sniffles.]
She gave away all my stuff! Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree This party is so crazy!