Ballers (2015) s04e09 Episode Script

1 Don't tell me that you decided to take on one of the most powerful organizations in all of sports.
- I did.
- (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) - MAN 1: He's out, Charles.
- We need Ricky.
WERNER THOMPSON: If this blows up, you're the one that's gonna go down for it.
- (EXCLAIMS) Come on! - (SCREAMING) Fire! JOE KRUTEL: There is a massive disconnect between what it is you guys think you're doing and what you're actually doing.
Show us what you want the world to see.
There still a chance for me? - You're gonna kill it, kid.
- What about you? I'm gonna take then down, brick by brick.
Kane is in the building (MUSIC PLAYING) Now tell me how you love it, you know you at the top When only heaven's right above it, we on 'Cause we on Who else is really trying to fuck with Hollywood Cole? I'm with Marley G, bro Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know This that "Slumdog Millionaire" Bollywood flow And, uh My real friends never hearing from me Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos And these days all the girls is down to roll I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole Plus, I been sippin', so this shit is moving kinda slow Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go.
Now masters of war (CHUCKLES) You build all the big guns You build the big planes And you build a big bomb (SIGHS DEEPLY) It's been a minute, big bro.
I'm sorry I didn't get down here sooner.
Not that I didn't want to come, it's just that funerals and cemeteries just aren't my thing.
Yeah, but fuck it, we better get used to it we're gettin' old.
Well, I'm getting old.
How much do I know To talk out of turn You know, tomorrow is National Signing Day.
I still remember when you declared.
Dad was goin' crazy.
(LAUGHS) And I was so proud of you.
It's a real shame it all had to end the way it did.
Fuck the NCAA.
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) - Tell me Jesus would never Forgive what you do Your gas and your trigger Mr.
Granville? Mr.
Robert Granville, right? How ya doin'? Not bad.
How 'bout yourself? Fantastic.
Can you hold this for a second? (CHUCKLES) You've been served.
And here, have an Americano on me.
- (BELL DINGS) - All right, enjoy.
I'm out.
SPENCER: Today you and I are gonna take the fight to 'em.
It's been a long time comin'.
But, as they say payback's a bitch.
I'll stand over your body And make sure that you're dead I'll catch you around, big bro.
JOE: Ohh.
Fear the brow.
I love AD.
He's a modern day Bill Russell.
You think I should grow my unibrow back? What do you think? I had one.
Like dude from Sesame Street? Like Bert, right? - Yeah.
- But dressed like a pedophile.
(BOTH LAUGH) You know what? Jokes about sexual predation aren't funny anymore.
Maybe you should check out the news sometime.
My homies! How goes it? Sorry to keep you waiting.
It's all good.
What's shakin', pal? OK, I hope you guys haven't changed your vibe about our pitch.
I'm sorry to say we did.
But out of respect, I wanted to tell you in person.
I'm just fuckin' with y'all! - (ALL LAUGH) - JOE: What?! Why did you do that to me? Jokes are only funny when you're delivering the punchlines, huh? Funny motherfuckers, it's too early for the comedy.
Why in the hell did y'all wake us up? The truth is, we loved what you guys pulled together.
And it gave us the idea for something bigger.
Huge.
I like big.
Now you're talkin' our language.
Kyrie, KD, Serena, Cristiano Ronaldo what we do is fuse the soul with the sole.
And nobody does it like us.
Sweet Lou, grab 'em.
What we wanna do is create the shoe for your skatepunk kids.
- JOE: Wow.
- These just got back from the lab.
They're just a sample.
We're open to any ideas you guys have.
But that's just the half.
Check this out.
(SNAPS FINGERS) Look at this.
Look at you! (LAUGHING) - Watch this.
- Whoa! - JOE: That's pretty good! - REGGIE: I see what you're doing.
You guys should definitely keep the color, whatever you do.
It's like a DMT trip, when you're getting shot down the boomerang pipe really fast, you're goin' really I can tell by your faces, no.
- (PHONE BUZZING) - Sorry, guys.
I'm so sorry.
This is the league office calling.
Ms.
Brewer.
You sure you called the right ASM partner? Well, Mr.
Krutel, your partner isn't responding to calls, texts, or emails, so he left me no choice but to bother you.
OK, well, it's no bother.
What can I help you with? I think it's the other way around.
OK, sure.
What can you help me with? I'm guessing from your comedic one-liners that you don't know.
- Know what? - Spencer Strasmore filed a lawsuit against the NCAA this morning.
(SIGHS DEEPLY) Breathe in exhale.
You're lookin' pretty fluid there, big brother.
I am fluid.
Though I wish Rashard were a 22-year-old Asian massage girl.
- That would be better.
- I can make that happen.
For a price.
No, no, no.
No Asian massage.
You'll end up having a stroke and spending an extra six months - Well, fuck! - Fuck what? Your kidney? No, the TV.
Rashard, turn it up, will ya? TV: is intrinsically corrupt.
The NCAA has responded by countersuing Strasmore, claiming that intent to purchase the rights for USC sports with the financial backing of the Anderson brothers has breached his fiduciary responsibilities.
Fire up the jet! We're gonna turn this deal to roadkill.
And back over it twice! Good morning, good morning, Jerrets! What's up, babe? Y'all take a vow of silence or something? I'm gonna make myself a smoothie.
- Y'all want a smoothie? - DENNIS: Yeah, sure.
I want a strawberry-banana, and you can mix some of that shit right there into it.
I feel like gettin' nice and swole up today.
- This here? - Yeah.
I don't know nothin' about this.
Ana I can't even say this shit.
What is this? Let me help you.
It's Androstenedione.
- Anabolic steroid.
- AKA a PED.
You been hangin' with Jonny Bones Jones lately? Stop the bullshit, Ricky.
This isn't gonna be a deny-till-you-die situation.
Who found it? Oh, right, right.
Y'all in this together.
Like when they merc'ed bin Laden never know who the shooter is.
- Bunch of fuckin' snoops.
- Nobody snoopin', Rick.
I found it in the trash when I was looking for my Invisalign.
Which, by the way, is still How about I knock your fuckin' teeth out?! - You won't need no Invisalign! - Don't fuckin' deflect.
Your boy's just trying to look out for you.
What is this, an intervention? You the morality police? You're one to squawk, Dennis.
I know what you had to do to play in the eighties.
And TTD, Mr.
Opportunistic.
And my girl! You're supposed to have my back! Ride or die, remember? My little Tupac! I know where you're from.
Remember that.
- I mean, who are y'all? - Your family.
The only ones concerned about your health.
We ride with you, but not without voicing our opinions.
Well, it sounds like y'all are judgin' me.
We're not judgin' you but we are disappointed.
DENNIS: Gonna tell your friend Charles? Hmm? He put his ass on the line for you.
On a new job, at that.
Look at you.
Always lookin' out just for yourself.
(CHOKED UP) Learned from the best, right? You better stop worrying about my bad habits.
I'm old and stubborn.
But you better start lookin' at yourself.
You gonna tell your boy Charles when you talk to him later? He's your friend, man.
Nope.
I ain't gonna say a damn thing, and neither are y'all.
Or this family, we're gonna be up shit's creek for real.
(DOOR SLAMS) (POP SONG PLAYING) JOE: You know it was a common practice in ancient Rome for the emperor to to allow a moment for the accused to renounce his beliefs before going into battle.
Confessions aren't my thing, Joe, and I've never been afraid of a fight.
You haven't been thrown to lions, either.
They're a lot more ferocious than guys in 3-point stances.
Well, maybe I'm dumb, but I have no fear.
What you have is arrogance.
Don't be naive.
People are not going to be happy until you're torn to shreds! The NCAA and the NFL are comin' after our asses! Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
My ass too.
The NFL? Yeah! Yeah, they sicced the dogs on us.
- Who? - Candace called and threatened to revoke our registration.
Don't care about any of it.
Fucking delusional! The way you rationalize shit! You took $250 million from the brothers Anderson, and you partnered with a 17-year-old boy on a regional sports network.
Do you have any idea how fucked up you are?! I do.
And none of it's gonna affect you.
Great.
Thank you.
Nothing more valuable than a guarantee from a liar.
(TYPING) - (BEEP) - Bring me Jerret's contract! Shoulda been waiting on my desk already.
ANDREW: Sorry, sir.
Bringing it now.
What's up, Rick.
So, Greane, let's get this goin' and signed so I can get back to doing what I do best.
Settle in.
Ain't no rush.
Slow down.
Enjoy the moment, brother.
I have to admit, I really didn't want this to happen for a while.
When that whole situation with the Whites went down, I didn't know what to do.
It's funny, though, the whole thing, it just challenged my character, and I came out the other side the better for it.
How'd it challenge your character? Well, by forcing me to choose a side, for one.
Guess we know how that turned out.
We sure do.
Sittin' there right in front of you.
Go ahead and sign up, baby.
Congratulations.
You know, Chuck, character is a crazy-ass thing.
Don't know what it is, but you know what it isn't.
Hmm.
Well said, Rick.
Pour myself a drink on that note.
Sometimes we don't recognize it in ourselves - till it's too late - Hmm.
- (ICE CLINKING) - and the damage has been done.
Me myself, I'm of the mind that it's never too late.
I don't think we should go there, Chuck.
Hmm? Go where? Lay on you what I been cookin' up.
Aw, shucks.
I just had a full plate of steak and eggs, so whatever you cookin', you can keep to yourself.
God is speaking to me right now.
He ain't speakin' to me.
Don't lock the Lord out, bro.
Ricky, is this gonna upset me? 'Cause if it is, just keep it to yourself.
I been usin' PEDs.
What'd I just say? What did I say? I told you not to tell me! What is wrong with you, Ricky? What is this undying need you have to fuck over the people who love you? Dammit! Goddamn! Let me tell you how this plays out from here on forward.
If you play great, we're winners.
If you test dirty after say, the fifth game or something like that I'm clippin' your punk ass.
No conversation, no apology, no bullshit, no "Wait, Chuck, I need to talk" none of that.
You never told me.
- Hey! You understand?! - Yeah.
You never told me.
Ever! Now sign the motherfuckin' deal, you piece of shit.
Glazed and Confused, on location, coming to you live here from sunny Southern California.
I've gotten a lot of big stories in my day, but really nothing compares to what you're about to see.
Some stories are local, some are national, this one changes the world.
With that, I welcome the one and only Spencer Strasmore on the day that he dropped a massive lawsuit on the NCAA.
Sometimes the only way to affect change is with a fight, Jay, you know that.
Whether it's college athletes, college athletics, or the world at large Are you for real? You beg me to go for a run, and now you got your face buried in your phone? the modern era, and that hasn't happened yet, and I for one am fuckin' sick of it.
This fuckin' guy.
I ask him to do me a favor for my friend Jayda, and in pure Spencer fashion he goes out and pimps her son instead.
- Did you fuck her? - Fuck who? You know who the fuck who.
Your friend Jayda.
I didn't fuck her.
She's a friend from law school.
What kind of whore do you think I am? I'm the one gettin' fucked.
Now I'm getting ready to go Old School, Curt Flood style, so get ready for the revolution.
First and foremost, Jay Thinks he's fuckin' Billy Graham.
Sweetheart! Balvenie, neat.
First of all, her name isn't "sweetheart," it's Hannah.
Secondly, I just gave you a new kidney.
I'd appreciate it if you didn't abuse it.
I don't care what her name is, the kidney you gave me was far from new, and now that it's in my custody, I'll do with it as I please.
peace of mind because with this, they are going to come at you hard.
What the sports world needs to understand is, whether it's Chapel Hill, whether it's Lubbock, Stillwater or Tallahassee, there is a street and a stadium that has been built on the back of a kid who used to play there.
Some of them went on to greatness, but many more ended up anonymous.
The sad part is, they weren't able to cash in when they had something worth selling.
Coaches, professors, tennis players, snotnose dot-com wannabes, they can all max out on their talents except football players.
And that ain't right.
That's bullshit.
Everybody deserves to earn a few beans.
Hell yeah, they do, paisan.
It's time these kids gain control, because when they're done, no one will know who they are.
GLAZER: It really is a tragedy of the unknown.
SPENCER: Names, faces, people, families they've all given more than they've gotten back.
This is starting to sound personal for you.
It is.
I'm talkin' about family.
And when I talk family, I'm talkin' about my brother, William Strasmore II, who was named after my Pops.
I had a chance to meet him back in the day.
That kid loved to play.
And his greatest joy was always on the football field, and that was taken away from him.
Are you talkin' about the shoulder injury? I'm talkin' about these bullshit rules the transfer rules that let the coaches leave, but yet lock the players up.
The sneaker deals for the programs, and these fucking ridiculous eligibility rulings, it's all just another way to keep these players in check.
They wouldn't reinstate him.
They wouldn't give him back his last year of eligibility.
It's just typical institutional bullshit.
This has clearly taken a toll on you.
It's put me in a very dark place.
But I'm not looking for sympathy, I don't need it.
I'm only looking for accountability.
They took his career because of a rule.
But from me, they took my brother and all the things that we were destined to experience together.
An achievement means nothing unless you can share it with the ones you love.
So this fight is in memory of William Strasmore II, and all the other Williams coming up.
The NCAA has officially been put on notice.
JOE: Jesse, Jesse, Jesse.
Take that sound bite, OK? Take that clip right there, have every single employee here post it, tweet it, 'Gram it, Snap' it, blast it, call in favors to all of our media contacts, traditional and social.
Carpet-bomb the motherfuckers.
Operation William has begun.
I heard you got too lit last night Didn't make it home Just wait here.
RICKY: Good luck.
How you all doin' today? Feels good to be off the 405 and up high in the sky, huh? Sorry for those of you expecting Sarah Huckabee she was busy searchin' for the truth.
(LAUGHTER) Today we continue our undying pursuit of bringing a Super Bowl to Los Angeles.
And it is with the full support of Mr.
Kroenke and Coach McVay that I'm here to announce that our future has gotten a little bit brighter and we've gotten one step closer to achieving that goal.
It is with great pleasure that I can announce my very first free agent signing as GM.
This young man is someone I've known on the gridiron and off, we've forged a bond, we go back to our days in Florida, he's a special player and a special man.
Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming the one, the only Mr.
Kisan Teague! (ALL APPLAUDING) There he is.
Put that on.
- (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK) - Wow.
Man.
As a kid who grew up in L.
A.
, this is truly a special moment for me, it really is.
I can't stress enough how excited I am to be here, be with this organization, help them win them Super Bowls that you were talkin' about.
I might even start drinking almond milk or something, I don't know.
What y'all think? That's what y'all do out here, right? Seriously, as Dorothy once said, there's no place like home, baby.
Especially if home is Newport Beach.
(LAUGHTER) KISAN: Don't say that, Tasha listenin' in.
CHARLES: Any questions for the man? - (REPORTERS CLAMOR) - Roger? (INDISTINCT P.
A.
ANNOUNCEMENT) Fee-ee-ee-eed My eyes Can you sew them shut? Let me take these off your hands, all right? Here.
Thank you.
Je-ee-ee-ee-esus Christ Now you've sewn them shut I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I Hope you're not expecting me to jump in your arms like Whitney goddamn Houston.
Given your physical states, I'd be happy to jump into yours.
Not even if I was in peak physical condition and desperately gay.
What the fuck are you doing here, Joe? Pick up our bags, take us to the hotel? No, I wasn't planning on that, but if that's what it takes for you to delay your execution of Spencer's deal, then I am happy to do it.
The only satellite bill we're willing to pay for is our monthly DirecTV, and even that's too much.
Listen, I understand that you guys are disappointed in the way that things have unfolded, perhaps even frustrated.
"Perhaps even frustrated.
" Where'd you get that idea from? Because frustration is a state that I perpetually live in.
But I am here to tell both of you that that is changing rapidly.
Not rapidly enough for us.
It's imminent.
Listen, "Spencer Strasmore" is trending.
- You just say "trending"? - Yeah.
- What the fuck is trending? - Social media, grandpa.
All the kids are doin' it.
Postin' food and stuff, dogs, fuckin' kangaroos I think I get it.
Spencer sent you out here with a boatload of horseshit to do his bidding for him.
- Is that the idea? - No, I came on my own.
I don't think you guys are grasping the situation here.
People are talking about Spencer.
And we're supposed to care? Well, they do.
Let me show you what's going on here.
- Look at this.
- Oh, boy.
"Spencer is single-handedly changing the face of college athletics.
- "He is effecting change.
" - Right.
How does that benefit us? I'm sure he has a plan.
Oh, he's got a plan.
Would you bet your life on that? Would you bet your legacies that he doesn't? Let me ask you this question: What side of history do you guys want to be on, the greedy white men robbing young urban superstars of their futures? It's the foundation upon which this country was built.
Or do you want to fight for equality and get rich in the process? You're living in a dream world, Joe.
Those two things don't go together.
In this case, they do, Bret.
Twelve-year-old tech geniuses in Palo Alto could buy and sell your asses a hundred times over.
A moron bullshitted his way into the Oval Office by doing nothing more than lying and doubling down.
- Careful.
- The world has changed.
You guys may as well take credit for it.
- Do I need to call security? - I wouldn't imagine.
- Is there a private room we can use? - Sure is.
Would you like me to leave these gentlemen behind? I like to leave a witness alive.
Fuck no.
Quincy Crawford is a special player, and it would be a shame for him to be denied the chance to play collegiate football.
I realize that I could never forgive myself if I didn't do everything I could to make that happen.
And think about all the potential revenue lost.
Hmm? (LAUGHS) So jaded.
My people may have been a little heavy-handed in dealing with the situation, but I'm offering you Quincy's eligibility back.
He will be reinstated immediately, as long as you agree to drop the suit.
- No chance.
- Excuse me? Unfortunately for Quincy, but mostly for you, this whole thing is much bigger than all of us, so my answer is no.
You are one arrogant fuck.
It's one of my greatest qualities.
But I have an offer for you.
You reinstate Quincy immediately, and you pay the players.
(LAUGHING) As you so eloquently put it no chance.
Whoa, whoa, whoa-oh-oh - I want to know - JOE: lick envelopes Where I can go Where you're not around Sneakin' in the side door, huh? Make people feel weirder than they already do.
- Look at his face.
- Yeah, OK, well, nobody has to walk on eggshells.
No, because you already broke all the goddamn eggs.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Dude, I'm not here to attack you, I'm really not.
I'm actually here to say I got your back.
I, uh, I get what you're up to here.
I actually think it's noble.
(SIGHS) Very kind words, but you should focus on yourself.
I mean, you've earned it.
You got this place hummin'.
Yeah, thank you for noticing.
The team has worked very, very hard.
But you know I would chuck it away in one second, go down on the proverbial ship, right? I actually look forward to it, to tell you the truth.
Me and you floating in the ocean, Celine Dion playing "My Heart Will Go On," some shit like that? I've proven to myself that I can lead, so I'm good with whatever follows.
What the fuck are you doing? I'm making good on my promise, Joe.
I said that I wouldn't let any of this affect you or anybody that works here or at ASM, and I won't.
I'm resigning.
- You're what? - I'm out, brother.
It's all yours.
I'm sorry I dragged you through it.
I heard what you said.
I don't accept it.
So if you brought some eloquent letter, keep it in your pocket fuckin' burn it, I don't know.
I do not accept it.
Is it the Andersons? 'Cause I got them under control.
Don't have to worry about them.
Joe, it's done.
It happened.
- Here.
- (KEYS JINGLE) This'll save you from having to get new locks, and all my other shit here, you can send it somewhere, I just need to figure out where.
I'm really sorry I failed you on this one.
Call you later.
When you're not around And I'm feelin' down So won't you stay For a moment so I can say I I need you so 'Cause right now you know SPORTSCASTER: with an outpouring of support for quarterback Crawford, the NCAA has relented on their declaration.
In a matter of moments, Signing Day will begin.
And with that, we go live to Santa Ana, California, to the home of Quincy Crawford.
Now that the NCAA has reinstated Crawford's eligibility, chances are the rich are about to get richer.
One top-flight program is about to land the most sought-after high school recruit in history.
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK) Bulldogs.
Pfft.
Wolverines.
They got a Jordan deal but no.
- WOMAN: Yeah.
- Buckeyes.
(CHEERS, APPLAUSE) Hell, yeah! Yeah! (QUINCY LAUGHS) I've worked long and hard for this opportunity and I never would have realized my dream without my beautiful mom being by my side the whole time.
And to all the people who've helped me along the way thank you.
What's this all about? I'd tell you, but you wouldn't understand.
Try me.
I'm a smart guy.
Have you ever seen a movie called The Sting? I know you want it, come and get it, I'ma give it to ya I know you want it, come and get it, I'ma give it to ya I know you want it, come and get it I'ma give it to ya Yeah, I took a little break from trafficking freight Yeah, trafficking freight 3-liter CSL on a late plate In Bape, got Bowie bangin' in the tape Big brick Nokia and man playing Snake Man playing Snake I see that yellow bone, she got mad yellow cake Says she's available today for a date Missed call tennis, now I'm gettin' jealous Maybe I was overzealous See, I tend to oversell it But when I first saw her (TRIBAL DRUMS PLAYING) My former partner just shows up on a Friday night.
I don't know if you're the reason my balls are tingling, or if this MDMA is finally kicking in.
So the new Lance is a non-sober Lance.
Yeah, this is, sadly, Old Lance.
Old Lance has killed New Lance.
You know, I've relapsed hard, Joe.
The demons are back, man, but tomorrow is another day to fight again.
Yeah, yeah, brand-new possibilities.
I've really missed you, mate.
How ya gettin' on? How are you surviving? Um I've managed to avoid the death penalty.
More than can be said for Lady Diana.
Yeah.
No, she did not fare too well.
Hey, uh listen, I've been thinking.
I remember Joe thinkin', high on 'shrooms back in the day, thinkin' out there on the mental-edge lands, crazy and howling into the night.
"Monica! Monica!" We never found out who she was, did we? That was my wife.
You didn't make that clear in your ranting.
What do you say we bring back the good old days, and and you buy back into the company and we partner up again.
Just you? Without the the other man? (LAUGHS) Yeah, without the other man.
I can tell you don't really want to get into that, and I seen the news and stuff, I can't imagine how you're feeling, but I'm in no rush to get off this chaise longue right now, not least because the floor appears to be made of magma.
Yeah, thinking's overrated.
Fuck it.
Yeah, and sobriety's overrated.
Yeah.
Hey, Joe, how about you and I go on a journey tonight with Mother Ayahuasca and fight those demons together? (TRIBAL DRUMS PLAYING) I know you want it, come and get it, I'ma give it to ya I know you want it, come and get it I'ma give it to ya I know you want it, come and get it, I'ma give it to ya I know you want it, come and get it, I'ma give it to ya I know you want it, come and get it I'ma give it to ya Yeah, said I'm the only one she bangs now Stopped escorting, she's only doing cams now We're making all these plans till I posed as a punter And caught her with her pants down Heartbroken, I'm at wits' end She's never accepted by my friends