Being Erica (2009) s04e09 Episode Script

Previously on "Being Erica": I wanted to stop being so controlling.
And so you did the most controlling thing you've ever done.
You took away my free will.
Uh, so this is my friend, Amanda.
Hi.
- Hello.
Sorry.
You must keep this, what we do, secret.
And if I can't? Then we need to have a bigger conversation.
Erica is my business partner and And I'm sleeping with one of our two employees, so it's just not gonna go over well.
Did you just have a session? I hate that guy-- Dr.
Fred.
You're Kai's doctor? Yes, and I brought you here because I need to talk to you about him.
Erica and Adam broke up, it happens all the time.
Erica and Adam broke up? I'm back on a regret.
Redoing album number two-- it might take a while.
I hear that Jasper is stunning.
Come with us.
But when would we go? Go right after Dave and Ivan's wedding.
I say a big yes! Yeah! See? What a difference it makes, huh? We raise the hem, nip it in at the waist, and Gorgeous! Thank you, Brenda.
I just, I love it! Look at you, huh? No potato latkes on these hips.
I think the bride just might get upstaged today.
Oh, no bride.
Gay wedding.
Ah.
Well, love is a many splendored thing, and I say the more people getting married, the better.
Never say never.
Isn't that gown something? You know what colour that is? Um white? Did you just say white?! What do you think this is? A shmatte? No.
It's cosmic latte.
Oh! Right.
Wanna try it on? No! No.
Come on, you love this dress.
No, Brenda, really.
I have to be at the Gardiner Museum soon, and my date, he's coming to pick me up.
It'll take two seconds.
Isn't it bad luck or something? Enough with the talking.
Get back there, get back there.
Go.
I'm going! I'm going! Look at you.
A vision in cosmic latte.
You look like a princess.
Alice in wonderland fell down the rabbit hole and her dreams became reality.
Have you ever wondered what that would be like to wake up in a fantasy? Oh! And here comes your prince! Kai, hey.
Erica, wow, you look beautiful.
Maybe a bit overdressed for today.
It was It was just for fun and Okay, you know what? I wanna put you two in my front window.
Okay.
Brenda We spend our lives trying to turn the fantasy into reality.
And who's to say we're wrong for wanting our days to glitter and shine, for wanting our lives to feel like a dream that never ends.
"Erica's adventures in Wonderland" Original air date: November 28, 2011.
It's clearer inside of me who I will always be open me up to my heart.
Feels like I'm seeing in the dark, waking me up to my life to do it all over again and again until the end the sum of my dreams and everything I ever wanted to be.
So are you freaking out? Because I'm performing at a wedding? No.
Future rock star over here, remember? Oh, right.
How could I forget? I don't know what I'd do without you, Erica.
Come on.
So we have two new candidates.
The first is Alan Zielonko.
He's artistic, rebellious, and guarded.
He dreams big, but lacks courage.
Okay.
The other one? Vasgan Seferian is a recent immigrant from Armenia.
Discovered life in the West isn't all it's cracked up to be.
She has issues with addiction and overdosed recently.
So which patient would you like? Or would you like both? Uh I think I should wait till the next round.
The next round? Yeah.
You know, until more Other candidates present themselves.
Why? I don't know why.
I just I just don't feel drawn to either case.
I picked these people for you.
Alan has clear parallels with your daughter Sarah and vasgan's struggles with addiction - mirror your own.
- I know.
But, uh, still, I'd prefer to wait.
Okay.
Tom? I've never known you to turn down patients.
Next round.
Thank you.
Well, double-check the list of allergens.
No nuts.
Of course no coconuts.
We're going locavore.
Where have you seen a palm tree in Ontario? Caterers! If I had the time, I would be the one cooking and serving up dinner for a 124 healthy appetites.
Okay, you're doing enough as it is.
Totally.
This place is amazing.
Oh, well, just wait 'til you see the bird's nest ring pillows.
And we have potted eco-unique tree centrepieces complete with matching table numbers-- Moss embossed-- And we have birch coasters with conversation topics carved in the surface for our more "socially challenged" guests.
And, finally, a big how-do-you-do to my personal favoo! See? It's how everyone knows what table they're at.
Oh! Jules is Canada's Gwyneth Paltrow.
She's got all the goop.
There's my best man.
Looking sharp! Hi.
You too, Erica.
As always.
Thanks.
Ivan! Congratulations! Muah! Muah! Look at this place.
Julianne did it all.
Her centerpieces are beyond.
Beyond is right.
They're a bit large, no? Well, everyone's entitled to their opinion.
Come on, Benny, let's not rain on the mother nature theme.
Iv, let's do a quick ceremony run-through.
With the best men, yes.
Gentlemen, shall we skedaddle? Large? They are not too large.
He should talk about large.
He's too large.
Julianne He's not right, is he? I wouldn't worry.
Most of Dave and Ivan's friends look like lumberjacks.
Maybe one'll bring an ax.
Hey, I'm dialling and you, Mr.
know-it-all, are yukking it up at the expense of your girlfrie-f-Friday.
Yeah.
Yeah, 'cause Ray-Ray, our trusty assistant, helped with these.
So consider your girl Friday's feelings.
Right.
My bad.
Sorry, Jules.
Excuse me, can I use your pen? 'Course.
It's Dave and Evan? It's Ivan.
Ivan.
You must be a plus one? Crasher, actually.
I heard something about cake.
Oh, right.
Nicole.
Hi.
Hi, Nicole.
I'm Erica.
How do you know the couple? We're good friends, and I'm a regular at Goblins.
Oh, I know Goblins.
Mean lattes.
Sometimes I detour there even though it's nowhere near my work.
Oh, see, I rent an office in the same building to avoid that problem.
Smart.
- Here.
Thanks.
- Thank you.
My date must have parked in Woodbridge.
You'd think that you'd be able to squeeze a motorcycle in anywhere.
A motorcycle? Yeah.
I know, right? Does my hair at least match the bird's nest decor? It looks great.
Adam.
Erica.
How do you two know each other? Uh, Erica, can you come help me? Someone seated Dave's parents in the third row by mistake, and you, of all people, know how redheads are when they're slighted, so Right.
Um, of course.
Excuse me.
It was lovely to meet you.
Are you okay? You're as white as a ghost.
Uh, it's hard enough seeing Adam, but to see him with somebody else God, it just feels like I got Punched in the stomach.
Oh, chicken, I am so sorry.
What can I do? Nothing.
You know what? I'm gonna be fine.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Uh, come on.
Matrimony, no baloney, no matter how thin the slice or small the ceremony.
To vow to love you, to honour and cherish you, so long as we both shall live.
I do.
And do you, Ivan, take this man as your husband? Oh, yes.
Yes, I do.
May I have the rings please? I pronounce you married and partners for life.
You may seal your marriage with a kiss.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Come with me.
Where are we going? It's time for pictures? Starting with the happy couple.
We got a few minutes.
Kai, where are we going? God, I have been dying to do that ever since we got here.
Well, I am impressed with your self-restraint.
Believe me, it does not come naturally.
Kai! Okay, I think that you need channel some of that self-restraint.
What has gotten into you? I meant what I said.
I don't know what I'd do without you So marry me.
Kai, just Stand up, please? Just, just Say something.
I I mean, I don't I don't know what to say.
Um I'm just Completely stunned.
Marry you? Kai, we just got together.
You want me to move with you to the future? Erica, I love you.
I want us to be together any way we can.
By getting married? Hey, gorgeous, your pretty face is wanted over here.
No offense, Erica.
Yeah, I'm coming.
I'll see you back inside.
Kai Uh uh Dr.
Tom? Hello? - What's wrong? - Uh I have to go.
Just to the bathroom.
Um, I'll be right back.
Just uh just give me a couple minutes, okay? Dr.
Tom, hey.
Hey.
Uh, is this a bad time? Oh no, no, no.
Not a bad time.
Um, I'm sorry.
Sorry I'm late.
'Cause if you're busy, I can, I can always No-no, no-no.
No, not busy.
Please, have a seat.
So? So.
Kai is my patient, right? Mm, Kai already has a doctor, Erica.
Dr.
Fred.
Why don't you tell me what's going on with you? Well, I was just at Ivan and David's wedding.
And? And if it wasn't weird enough seeing Adam with You know what? I'm not gonna go there.
I was just trying to go with the flow and enjoy the party, and then, Kai, he goes and gets all intense on me.
Intense.
I thought that's what you liked about Kai? I did.
I mean, I do.
But he He proposed to me.
Dr.
Tom, frankly, that's ridiculous.
I mean, he's living in a fantasy.
And you've accepted the reality.
The reality is we don't live in the same time, and how are we gonna get around that? Impossible relationships; That's That's my special gift.
You know, every time it's the same and why is that? Why is it that I can't find the right guy? I mean, why is that so hard? Julianne's coaster conversation starters.
It's a cute idea, really.
Describe your ideal partner.
Describe your "right" guy to me.
Just start by telling me about who this "perfect" man would be? What qualities would he possess? I want you to list them for me.
Um I know you have a list in there somewhere.
Everybody does.
All right, all right, he's Ambitious and educated, and honest, like Adam.
And confidence is a must.
Artistic would be nice.
Artistic, like Kai.
Funny.
Non-smoker.
Good cook.
Is that enough? Well, you tell me.
He's your dream man.
Well Mm, yeah, that.
I wanna hear that.
Dark hair, light eyes, great body.
Uh oh, and single-- That goes without saying, and preferably from 2011.
So now that I've busted out my "Perfect guy" list, are we gonna get to the point? "Fall in love for all the right reasons.
" eHarmony.
The point is that I think that I have the perfect man for you.
What? And it's time for you to meet him.
No, wait.
Wait! Okay.
Oh! Hey, lovely.
Are you coming inside? Um Dr.
Tom? What What is going on? Well, we appear to be in an alternate universe where you have met exactly the man you described.
His name is Milo.
You live together.
So what am I supposed to do? Just go in there and play house? Whatever you do is entirely up to you.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the convention center Toronto Comic-Con is on, and this version of me is a huge Star Trek fan.
Live long and prosper.
Oh Hi.
Is everything okay? Yeah, yeah, everything's fine.
I just ran into Mr.
Spockinstein next door.
Our neighbour's name is Spockinstein? He was Wow.
These are your photos? I mean, these are your They're your photos.
Erica, what's up? Are you high? No! No, I'm Just, you know, a little spaced out.
Long day at, uh, work.
Hmm? Burning the candle again at both ends? Oh, wow.
Oh Milo, you're really, really good at that.
Well, six months on assignment in Thailand, you pick up a trick or two.
- Mmm.
- So why don't you just relax, forget about everything-- Especially work-- And I'm gonna get dinner started.
Really? What's um What's on the menu? It's artichoke and goat cheese ravioli with tomato basil broth and chiffonade of Swiss chard.
Keeping it simple tonight.
Mmm! Right.
Milo, these photos are incredible.
That one is my favourite.
It's it's wonderful.
And I'm not just saying that because it's me.
But But what? Well, all the other photos, they're urban, public spaces.
And this portrait, it Feels like it doesn't belong.
Placing a portrait in a book of landscapes is exactly what the book needs.
You turn the page, you're surprised, you're thrilled by something new.
It's the unexpected element that jolts the viewer.
In a book of fiction, it's a twist, a dramatic turn.
In a book of photographs, it's that.
I think I just learned something about editing from a photographer.
Jenny?! Are we still meeting her at Gremlins tonight? Gremlins? Well, of course, where else would we meet? It's just weird because I haven't heard from Jenny in over a A day? Dinner is served.
Oh wow.
To my beautiful, smart, talented girlfriend.
That's so sweet.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Hmm.
Wow.
Milo, this is this is delicious.
Hey, Milo! It's um it's ten after eight.
We were supposed to leave five minutes ago.
Does my hair look okay to you? Uh, your Your hair? Yeah.
It looks great.
Don't think I've ever met a guy who blow-dries.
If you wanna look good, you gotta put the effort in.
Clearly you're doing that at the gym.
Okay.
Ready to go.
Unless you think I should change this shirt? Uh um Well, right now, my dream is to photograph all 194 capital cities of the world.
So far, I've got 57.
Wow.
And which one's your favourite? Oh.
New York? Well, New York's not really a capital.
Right.
But it should be, huh? For me, it's all about the people.
I gotta say, I've met some of the most amazing people in the most war-torn places.
It's uh It's humbling to say the least, you know? We really killed that bottle.
What do say we get another one? Yeah, sure.
Sounds good.
Thank you, Milo.
Mm! Oh my God, if he wasn't dating my best friend, I'd be all over and under it.
Jenny.
Milo.
I love that name.
It's strong yet soft.
Well, as long as he's not soft in the bedroom.
Jenny! Listen, do you mind if I ask something and it might seem a bit weird? Go right ahead.
You and me, we're We're good? Of course we are.
Why would you ask that? You and me, we are one gazillion percent unbreakable besties.
Hmm? All right, you two, this Riesling is a stunner.
Okay.
Pour me a glass while I go use the little girl's room.
All right.
No problem.
That didn't take long.
Jenny's need for male attention knows no bounds.
Bet you this bottle of wine she doesn't leave alone tonight.
Whoa.
Hello.
Milo, be nice.
Come on, you know I'm right.
It's classic Jenny.
Tell me I'm wrong.
Oh, and she just made second base.
He follows her into the washroom, that's a home run.
You're really enjoying this.
I find Jenny endlessly amusing, yes.
Well, you know, Milo, Jenny, she really likes you.
And I really like Jenny.
I just think she could use a little restraint.
And an atlas.
What did I tell you? Another notch in Jenny's bedpost.
You owe me that bottle of wine.
You know what, Milo? Just enough, okay? You're mad at me.
Yes, I am.
Okay, good.
Honesty.
I like that.
Keep going.
You know, I'm mad and now you're annoying me.
I mean, just the way that you talk, you're really What? Arrogant.
I mean, so what if Jenny thinks that New York is the capital of the United States.
Who cares? I'm not arrogant, I'm confident.
And I happen to know for a fact that you love that about me.
You are just I mean, you're so full of yourself.
And you're a hypocrite.
Jenny bugs you for all the same reasons.
You're just mad because I'm the one criticizing.
And do you always tell me what I think? I'm just being honest.
And can I just say you look smoking hot when you're mad.
Okay, you know what? I think that you should just Put your shirt back on.
Why? Am I distracting you? No.
You know what? This is This is not happening.
Okay.
.
Well, I have to hit the gym by six, so I'm going to bed with or without you.
Ugh! Excuse me.
Sorry.
Pardon me.
Excuse me, could I get a glass of white wine, please? Thanks.
So, the um The wedding, it's pretty amazing.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hm.
Dave and Ivan seem really happy.
- Mm-hm.
- Good for them.
Mm-hm.
I like Nicole.
She seems sweet.
- So are you two? - She's my date to the wedding, that's all.
Oh.
Okay.
So I saw Dr.
Tom the other day.
Mm.
So did you have a session? No.
I bumped into him on the street and he was with a woman.
- Really? - Yeah.
It was like, you know, seeing your teacher out of class.
But then I thought, you know, good for him.
He deserves that, he deserves to have someone that makes him happy.
Yeah.
And right now I'm looking at Kai and I'm thinking So do you.
Um You gotta be with someone who's right, who's what you want.
The one who ticks off all those boxes.
I'm happy for you.
I mean it.
- Well, I should probably - Yeah.
Okay.
Bye, Erica.
Oh my God, this is a nightmare.
No one knows how to find their seats! What the hell are we gonna do? Dave and Ivan are gonna be stringing me from that tree when they see this! Hey.
Dave and Ivan are happy, so why aren't you? Because this wedding is supposed to be seamless and elegant, and it's turning into amateur hour! Looky here, we're sitting together.
These aren't even our place cards.
And as if I am gonna be sitting at all at this rate.
Then how are we supposed to play footsie under the table? Brent, shhh! What if somebody hears you? So what if they do? I'm tired of being on the dl.
Brent, stop it.
I mean it.
You know what? I can't keep going like this.
- Oh, come on.
- No.
All this pretending and sneaking around at work, I hate it.
I want you, Julianne, but not like this.
So when you're ready to be out and proud, come talk to me.
Brent! Oh my Dave, if you can be even half the man that Ivan is-- And physically, you already are-- Then, uh, I know that my best bud will be in good hands.
Good luck.
Thank you, Benny.
Uh, and now I would like to invite Dave and Ivan to the floor for their very first dance as husband and husband.
And to perform a song, here is Dave's best man, Kai Booker.
Kai? Oh, your eyes, your eyes make the stars look like they're not shining your hair, your hair falls perfectly without you trying you're so beautiful and I tell you every day yeah! I know, I know when I compliment you, you don't believe me it's so, it's so sad to think you don't see what I see and when you ask me, "do I look okay?" I say oh, when I see your face there's not a thing that I would change 'cause you are amazing just the way you are and when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while 'cause you are amazing just the way you are I know you know you know I'd never ask you to change if perfect's what you're looking for then just stay the same Thank you.
It's fun to stay at the YMCA it's fun to stay at the YMCA they have every thing that you need to enjoy Hey.
Oh, hey! Can we uh? - Yeah.
Yeah.
- Yeah? That was amazing.
Oh yeah? Thanks.
I was Kinda singing to you.
I, um I wanted to apologize for earlier, ambushing you like that.
Hey, I know I know my plans might sound crazy, but I think I have a solution.
A solution? Yeah.
You're gonna be a doctor, right? Well, I mean, that is the plan.
So you can travel through time to 2019 any time you want.
You can come to me, to my present.
We can get our own place, we can spend as much time together as we want - days! - In bed, if we wanted to.
- Okay, Kai, just just slow down.
You know it could work.
Fine.
Let's, um Let's explore your plan.
Okay, I become a doctor and I come and be with you in 2019.
That's right.
Okay.
Well, the first problem is, is that I have a business that I'm not going to give up.
Oh, I know.
No, I totally get that.
Okay, I work nine-to-five in 2011, and then I come and spend the nights with you in 2019.
Erica And then what about weekends? I guess Saturdays in one decade and Sundays in another? Why are you doing this? I'm just I'm just thinking this through.
I mean, this therapy, it's not meant to be a choose-your-own-adventure book.
It's meant to help us in the present.
Well, rules are meant to be broken.
This This isn't about the rules.
It's about what is and what isn't real.
Well, I love you, Erica, and that That's real.
Kai, I care about you so much.
But love? I don't I don't know you well enough, and honestly, you don't really know me either.
I mean, we have these romantic adventures together that are amazing.
I mean, spend the night with me, and come on tour with me, Erica, and let's be bi-coastal and live in the present and the past I mean, don't you see? You're killing me.
- No.
- Yeah.
I'm just killing the dream, 'kay? Because no dream can last forever.
And eventually, you have to wake up.
I don't want to.
Even if you're right, I don't want to.
Not yet.
But you have to.
We both have to stop chasing a fantasy.
What can I say to you? What do you want me to say? What can I say to make you stop? Just kiss me, and say goodbye.
Bye, Kai.
Goodbye, my love.
Kai.
Dr.
Fred.
It's time to go home.
You're gonna pull me out? What's that, some bullshit technicality? I'm on a regret and I'm finishing it.
It is finished, Kai.
No, it's not.
What do you mean? My album's only half done.
It was never about the album.
Well, then, what was it about? Erica? So you have a choice here, Kai.
You can keep pursuing this fantasy, or you can accept reality, like Erica has, and forge a real life, in a real relationship, in the present.
So what's it gonna be? Yeah.
Here you go, chicken.
Drink your sorrows away.
Thanks.
To being single.
To that.
Don't worry, Erica, because you are a tigress, you're not a cougar.
And trust me, your soulmate is out there, somewhere.
You're gonna find him.
What if it's Not even about finding the perfect soulmate? What if it's just finding the person that you wanna be with? Yeah, for reasons you can't really explain and don't understand.
- Erica, I need to tell you something.
- Julianne I'm sorry, I'll be right back.
Dr.
Tom.
I wouldn't expect you to be a wedding crasher.
Well, I wouldn't expect you to be a wallflower.
Hmm.
Well, my dance card is pretty empty tonight.
Mm-hm.
Well, may I pencil myself in? So, I um I ended things with Kai.
And? How did it feel? It sucked, but it felt right.
Well, everything has to come to an end sometime, Erica.
And Milo, your perfect man? What about him? Turned out to be not so perfect.
No, he was I mean, he was everything that I ever wanted, but he was also arrogant and vain and insensitive.
Confidence pushed too far becomes arrogance.
You know, vanity gave rise to that body that you found so attractive.
And the honesty, the honesty that you wanted, it's not so appealing when it hurts your feelings.
I know that there's no such thing as the perfect guy and you didn't have to send me to an alternate universe to figure that out.
Okay.
So, then, what are you looking for, Erica? I think that I found what I'm looking for, and I think that I screwed it up really badly.
"We come to love" "not by finding the perfect person, "but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
" Sam Keen.
So what do I do, Dr.
Tom? You do the only thing that you can do.
Surrender.
Well, thank you for the dance.
Thank you.
You're quiet.
I can see you thinking.
I am thinking.
What about? Work.
What else? Yes, work.
That's not a surprise.
You know how I've been reluctant to talk about it? Meh.
Might've noticed.
Well, um I've been thinking about What it would be like to um Retire from therapy.
- Really? - Yeah.
Now that's not what I was expecting.
Well, I wasn't expecting it either.
It just, um Yeah, it seems to have happened.
I've had maybe three careers so far.
Sometimes you just outgrow something.
But how do you know? You know, I mean, for sure.
Well, I think it just creeps up on you, that feeling that it's time to move on, that restlessness.
Then one day, you just You know.
- Hey, everyone.
- Listen up! Everybody! Before we miss our flight to Honolulu, we just wanted to say thank you all again.
With an extra special thanks going to our wedding planner, Julianne Giacomelli, who gave us the wedding we always dreamed of.
Come here, Julianne, let's tree-hug it out.
Thanks.
All right, goodbye! - Bye! Have fun! - Bye! See you guys! Please don't be mad at me.
Think about all the times that I forgave you.
Like, uh, when you tried to destroy my company.
Okay, you get to play that card once.
No, I'm not here to play any cards.
I'm here to tell you that you were right-- You are right-- and I am gonna tell her Right now.
Right now, right now? Yes.
Except Where is she? Oh, Brent, I swear, I am gonna tell her.
Honestly.
If I can ever frickin' find her.
I come in peace.
Where's Kai? I broke it off.
- But I thought-- - Kai was never right for me, Adam.
He was a fantasy that I lost myself in for a while, to get over how much it hurt losing you.
You know, you said that I deserved to be happy, and I deserve to be with someone that gives me everything.
But nobody gets that.
You know, nobody gets everything.
It's like, you know, it's like you and me.
You know, we were 90 percent great and 10 percent drive-each-other-crazy.
I'd say more like 80-20.
Well, how about 85-15? And look, I know that I made some big mistakes and I'm sorry.
I am sorry for being controlling, and for just getting, you know, trapped in here.
And anyway, the point is, is that I don't want Kai, I don't want a fantasy, I just want you.
And I'm willing to do the work to fix whatever was wrong because you're the person that I love.
And, um The parts of you that drive me crazy, they're also really good for me too.
You know, the way that you challenge me, and the way that you stand up to me, I need that.
I need I need you.
And I I, um Oh, I just I feel like I'm forgetting a bunch of stuff.
Just a second.
Just wait.
Shit! This doesn't even make any sense.
Erica? Yeah? Did you think this was gonna be a hard sell? Can we just try again? Even if there's no guarantee that it'll work this time, can, can we just try? Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's try again.
Trade a fantasy for reality, and you might feel like Alice back from Wonderland.
The world may not sparkle and shine, but the ground will be solid beneath your feet, and your eyes will be open to all the adventures that lie waiting for you right here in the real world.