Drop Dead Diva s04e09 Episode Script
Ashes to Ashes
See that aspiring model there? That was me Deb until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Luke.
I used to think everything happened for a reason Whoo! and, well, I sure hope I was right.
Drop Dead Diva 4x09 - Ashes To Ashes Original air date August 5, 2012 Ladies and gentlemen, we're here today to mourn a death.
The death of a relationship that of Jane and Owen.
It's times like this that we ask ourselves, "why?" Why?! I'm looking at you, Jane.
Why? Fellow mourners, please help me here.
Chime in.
Yes.
You.
The funny Asian sidekick.
Well, in my opinion, Jane can be needy.
- Mm.
Mm.
- Mm.
Mm.
Excuse me.
Oh, oh.
And sometimes bossy.
Oh, most definitely.
Take that back.
And so often, you just don't listen.
And you don't play well with others.
- Really.
- Amen.
And and you don't tell the truth.
- What? - Yeah, you still haven't told me you're really Deb.
- Ooh! Ooh! - Ooh! Ooh! - Which is a lie by omission.
- Thank you.
And, Jane, as much as I might try, there's only so much a guardian angel can do.
True.
Seriously.
Just stop! It was the worst nightmare.
Well, a funeral represents closure, and since you never got closure from Owen in real life, your subconscious is working it out for you.
You know, you're really good at this.
I know.
So, sweetie, Owen left you for another woman in another town, and you owe it to yourself to give him a piece of your mind.
You know, I agree, but I have no idea how to contact him.
Okay.
Let's pretend I'm Owen.
What would you say? Owen.
Why are you wearing ladies' pajamas? What? No.
Come on.
I saw this on "Dr.
Drew.
" Uh okay.
Okay.
So, now I'm about Owen's height, and in a robe, I look like a judge.
Yes, exactly like one.
Tell me off.
Unload your rage.
Stacy.
I said unload.
Owen.
Mm.
Owen.
Yeah.
Ooh, look at that.
It's 9:00.
I got to get to the office.
Ugh.
I thought the firm got shut down.
I mean, you did stay three hours in the clink last night.
Actually, I don't know what's going on.
Parker said meet him at the office for an announcement, so I got to go.
Oh.
Good.
I'm not late.
No.
Parker's not here yet.
Why are you here? Gina's out and I'm back in.
Good for you.
Oh, my God.
What do you think? What are you doing, Teri? From now on, I'm Lady Bodacious.
She's my new musical persona.
Musical persona? Ever heard of Stefani Germanotta? Before, she was a struggling musician, then she added boots, bustiers, and bangs, and bam.
She became Lady Gaga.
That was her hook.
This is mine.
Right, but, see, I think Lady Gaga had some success before the boots and everything.
Well, two weeks ago, I entered my latest single, "Restraining Order," in Alpha Dog Records' 2012 rock off.
And Lady Bodacious won? Well, Teri Lee won.
But Lady Bodacious is gonna take me to the top 40.
Good morning.
Have a seat everyone, and, Teri, take off the wig.
Good news, people.
The firm is back in business, and I am being honored by the FBI for helping them catch Gina Blunt, who will be imprisoned for a very long time.
Parker, we were all arrested.
Right.
The FBI had been building a case against Gina, and when they found out that she landed at our firm, they reached out to me.
Wait, so, you knew she was dirty, and you didn't say anything? Well, once she came on board as an investor, they bugged our phones, they were monitoring her client accounts.
It was a very big sting operation.
And you didn't say anything to anyone? Couldn't risk the operation.
'Course not.
Excuse me.
Anyhow, I'm probably going to get a medal.
Is this meeting over? - Because Jane and Grayson have a client waiting in his office.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Sure.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, guys.
You guys heard Parker.
He's a national hero.
Well, I wouldn't use that word.
No.
Congratulations.
Now can I get a "whoo-hoo"? Whoo-hoo! - Whoo-hoo.
- Whoo-hoo.
Scott had high blood pressure.
The night before he died, it spiked.
I wanted him to go to the E.
R.
, but said the medication just needed to kick in.
Then, in the morning, he was dead.
Kathy, I'm really sorry.
These ashes are all I have left of my fiancé.
- You got to stay strong, Kathy.
- I know.
Scott's stepmother claims she's the rightful owner of the ashes.
Scott had a will drawn up a few years ago.
He left everything to her.
A will is pretty tough to get around.
Tell her about the computer app.
I also have this.
I-after? It's an app that, upon confirmation of one's death, puts out an online last wishes video to friends and family.
Last month, Scott recorded his last wishes to me.
Kathy, I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone.
More than bananas and bacon.
It's what we used to say.
So, if you're seeing this, I am yours forever body and soul.
"Body and soul.
" He wants me to have the ashes.
A video testimony does not supersede a will.
Come on, lady.
You can do better than that.
Kathy, excuse me.
Why do you keep looking over there? This is confidential, right? Of course.
Sometimes I can see Scott.
Or rather, I can I see his ghost.
I know that sounds weird.
Actually, that's not weird at all.
Really? When there's a sudden death, it's not uncommon to think our loved one is still with us.
When my fiancée died, I joined a grief support group.
As for your case, you're not asking to set aside the entire will, just the part about the ashes.
I think we can help.
- How could you ambush me like that? - Ambush you? I am a partner, and you got the firm in bed with the feds without consulting me.
I was the inside man.
I wasn't at liberty to disclose anything.
Okay, well, the sting was over yesterday, so it's been a full 24 hours that you've had to get me up to speed.
You're overreacting.
This isn't the first time you've done something like this.
You failed to tell me that the firm was in financial trouble, and you didn't tell me about our outside investor until the deal was already done.
What do you want me to say? When you figure it out, let me know.
So A grief support group? When Deb died, I was in bad shape.
Those first few weeks, every everywhere I looked, I I'd see her face and hear her voice and smell her perfume.
It was Comforting? Painful.
Like she was so close, but It's just you're not, you know, big on therapy.
You know, I needed to talk to other people who didn't think I was crazy.
I mean, you heard Kathy.
She was worried we thought she was weird.
I just think she's in a lot of pain.
I I'm glad we took this case.
Me too.
Jane? Oh, my God.
Owen? Hi, Jane.
Is this are you really here? I am.
And, Jane, we need to talk.
Yeah.
Yeah, we do.
Owen.
I got to go.
I mean, after all this time, he just shows up? What did he say? "Hi, Jane.
" What a jerk.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Did you unload on him? Did you get your closure? I didn't say anything.
I I I couldn't speak.
I never thought I would see him again.
I swear, Stacy, it was like I saw a ghost.
Well, if Owen is like most ghosts, he'll show up again, so next time, you need to give him a piece of your mind.
That or plunge a stake right into his chest.
Oh, I think you're mixing up ghosts and vampires.
I know.
But vampires are so much sexier.
That's true.
Mm.
A settlement conference.
I got to go.
Okay, but if you run into Owen I will take your advice.
The confrontation, not the stake.
So, if you're seeing this, I am yours forever body and soul.
It's wonderful to see him, even if it's like this.
That being said, it's the first time my client's heard about Scott's alleged intentions to change the will.
And we were really close.
We talked almost every day.
We had lunches on Sunday right up until he passed.
Caitlin, please.
I loved him.
I don't care about money.
I just want to keep his ashes.
Scott and Kathy were gonna be married in less than a week.
At that point, his remains would have legally become his wife's.
I think we can assume if Scott knew he was going to die, he would have changed his will.
Maybe, maybe not, but at this point, my client would like them returned.
Now.
No.
I don't want to hurt you, Kathy.
I lost my husband, Scott's father, three years ago.
And when we scattered his ashes at sea, Scott said he wanted to be buried in the same place in the same way.
I'm just trying to respect those wishes, and if I have to go to court to do it, I will.
Not bad.
Thank you for the applause, but what I need is $1,000.
Why are you asking me instead of Jane? I still owe her for front-row tickets I bought to Cher's third farewell tour.
So you want the money for a concert? No.
You know how I won that contest, right? The 2012 rock off.
Well, the first prize is to get your demo produced by Steve Kish, but you still have to pay for his studio and equipment rental.
Wait.
You won the contest, and you have to pay them? Trust me, Luke.
This is how the music business works.
You have to play to pay or pay to play.
I literally have to pay my dues.
Sounds like you want me to pay your dues.
Well, can I have the money? I'll think about it.
As the creator of I-after, can you explain the program interface? Sure.
It's simple.
A user is given a password, and they can update their "last video" at any time.
A lot more user-friendly and time-sensitive than a normal written will.
Scott Richards updated his final page on June 12th of this year, correct? Yes, that's correct.
Let the record show that the June 12th I-after video was uploaded more than a year after Scott signed his will.
Accordingly, we maintain that the video reflects Scott's true last wishes.
Well, I agree.
Public policy is to ensure that the decedent's last wishes are fulfilled.
Hence Hold on, Your Honor.
Before you rule, we also have a witness.
Sarah Kelton, Kathy's sister.
Oh, God.
Objection.
This witness was not on their list.
We had no intention of calling her till Your Honor pointed to issues of public policy.
We now believe her testimony is essential.
I can have her in court in an hour.
Okay.
Let's do it.
Someone got flowers.
Ooh.
I bet they're from that tennis pro I met at the M&A seminar.
They're from Parker.
He included an apology note.
What were you thinking? Is this a trick question? I figured out what I wanted to say.
I'm sorry.
Parker, flowers are for the girl you didn't call after screwing, not the partner you screwed over.
Screwed over? If I were a man, would you have sent these? - You're not a man.
- No.
I'm a partner, and for some reason, you can't get that through your head.
Ms.
Kelton, do you think the court should give your sister Scott's ashes.
No.
Why not? Because Do I have to answer that? I mean, can't you just trust me on this? Well, that would be nice, but I need you to address the court.
Okay.
I don't think she should get the ashes because she's eating them.
She told me she's eaten half a pound.
I'm sorry, Kathy, but what you're doing isn't right, and I don't know how else to stop you.
Objection! I think.
Overruled.
No grounds.
Ms.
Kelton, is this true? Yes.
But Your Honor, we assert that eating his ashes was not part of Scott's last intentions.
Indeed, it's tantamount to corpse desecration.
That is a gross mischaracterization.
And therefore any claim she has on the ashes should be denied.
All right.
The court will take possession of the cremains until I can wrap my head around this.
Bailiff, would you No.
Please don't take Scott.
Kathy, you have to let go.
Ma'am, if you don't turn them over, I will hold you in contempt.
Ma'am.
Grayson, she needs mental help, not legal representation.
Everyone reacts differently to loss.
Grieving is an extremely personal and private matter.
I understand.
I mean, I really do, but snacking on ashes? I mean, it's going too far.
She lost the man she loved.
She planned to spend a lifetime with him, and I won't turn my back on her.
Thank you.
Kathy, come in.
I should have told you the whole truth.
We argued on your behalf that Scott wanted you to have his ashes.
Scott wants me to eat his cremains.
It's the only time I can see him.
After you eat them? Yes, that's right.
That's when his ghost appears.
Kathy, let's how did this all begin? After I got home from the crematorium, I was pouring his ashes into the mantel box when some of them spilled on my fingers, and I didn't want to rinse them down the sink, so I licked them off.
A few minutes later, Scott came to me for the first time.
Okay.
Look, I don't really care what you think of me, but I want the ashes back and you said you'd help.
And we will.
Okay.
Hey, there.
I'm a friend of Teri Lee.
She won first place in the rock off.
Congratulations to your friend.
Anyway, she asked me for a loan, so I thought I'd come in and get the straight dope from Mr.
Kish.
Steve's in a meeting.
I can wait.
Steve is the man! Hey, man.
I still can't believe I won the rock off.
I mean, I almost didn't send in my demo.
Mm.
It's very exciting.
Cash, credit, or Got the check right here.
$1,000 for studio and equipment.
Done.
Excuse me.
But you won first place in the rock off? Yeah, man.
First place.
Hey.
Check out my show later.
Jane.
Owen.
Excuse me.
I have an appointment.
I understand.
If you can just hear me out.
It won't take long.
I'm listening.
Good.
Thank you.
Actually, I'm not listening.
I'm talking.
You proposed, we got engaged, and then you just took off.
What kind of man does that? Wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing? Oh, my God! Jane, my heart stopped.
I had an operation.
Okay.
Okay, start at the beginning and talk very, very slowly.
A month ago, I had a physical.
Test showed an irregular heartbeat, premature ventricular contractions.
Why didn't you tell me? I had just proposed.
I didn't want you to worry.
So I booked an appointment with an expert at the Mayo clinic and made up this story that I was visiting Eddie.
Look.
I know it was wrong.
I know.
The plan was I get the test, I would call you with the results.
The day I get to the clinic, I had a heart attack.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I don't remember much.
They wheeled me into surgery, I had the operation.
They put me in this medically induced coma.
Why why why wouldn't they tell someone? Jane, nobody knew where I was.
Not you, not my sister, nobody.
But Teri went through your credit-card bills.
You stayed at a motel.
For one night before I checked in to the clinic.
So you're fine? I'm better.
And I'm so sorry that I put you through this.
I have to go.
I understand.
Can we finish this conversation tonight? Yes.
Uh come over to my place around 7:00? I'll be there.
The paperweight, the bowl of glass beads, the candle all have one thing in common they're all forged from the cremains of dead people.
What's your point? Afterlife products are becoming commonplace.
According to you.
According to the Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce, the business for afterlife products has doubled within the last decade.
A paperweight made from ashes is a far cry from eating ashes.
Well, I have sympathy for your client, but I tend to agree with Mr.
Carlyle.
Therefore Wait.
Wait.
Your Honor, grieving is an extremely personal and private matter, and the disposition of ashes is about how the loved one left behind chooses to honor the dead.
Now, it's legal to make candles and beads, and it's legal to scatter the ashes at sea or shoot them into space.
So is an ash brownie really that far behind? Theoretically, we can discuss this all day long, but the technical result of Kathy's ash eating is she is flushing Scott down the toilet, which is a violation of California health codes 7054 and 7116.
Okay.
By that argument, catholics who ascribe to the doctrine of transubstantiation believe that they are literally eating the body and blood of Christ, which would be outlawed under those health codes.
And I'm sorry I don't see Mr.
Carlyle putting the Pope on the stand.
Okay, you know what? If this is truly Ms.
Kelton's attempt to honor her dead fiancé, then I need to hear it from her.
Ms.
Kelton, is it your rational and sincere belief that you are honoring your fiancé by eating his ashes? Yes.
And you realize that people find your behavior strange and even disgusting.
I do, but it's none of their business.
I loved Scott, and this it my way of staying connected to him.
Thank you.
Ms.
Kelton, you've eaten half a pound of ashes in two months.
Yes, I guess that's about right.
So at that rate, in a year, he'd be gone.
I don't like to think about that.
That lawyer's a total buzz kill, and the judge kind of looks like your aunt Gertrude before the nose job.
Ms.
Kelton, are you all right? Yes.
I'm fine.
What are you laughing at? Nothing.
What are you looking at? Ma'am, you're under oath.
I'm looking at Scott.
Your deceased fiancé? Yes, that's right.
The defendant's just admitted to seeing visions.
It's not a vision.
He's a ghost.
Okay.
Your Honor, the state cannot trust the cremains to a delusional woman.
Our client's mental state should not be a factor here.
Oh, on the contrary, Ms.
Bingum, you have argued for an exception to the law due to your client's rational and sincere beliefs.
Now, at this point, I have no other choice but to suggest that Ms.
Kelton get herself evaluated by a mental-health expert while I award the ashes to Mrs.
Richards.
- No, that's not right! - Please be seated.
You can't do this to me.
I need the ashes! Please be seated.
I need them.
Please, Your Honor.
Please.
Are you all right? Are you all right, Ms Bailiff! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Kathy.
Kathy, are you okay? We need an ambulance.
Grayson.
Hey.
Where am I? You're in the hospital.
You're okay.
Where's Scott? Um, Kathy, he's gone.
I mean, why why can't I see him? Where are the ashes? The judge awarded them to his stepmother.
No.
No.
We need to get them back.
Kathy, we have to tell you something, and it is not going to be easy to hear.
After you fainted, the doctors ran a series of tests, and they found heavy metals in your blood.
Heavy-metal toxicity causes dizziness, fainting, and, in its acute form, hallucinations.
So, seeing Scott was a figment of your imagination caused by heavy metals in your blood.
I don't understand.
The heavy metals are a byproduct of the cremation process.
When you were eating the ashes, it seems you were poisoning yourself.
No.
No.
Scott came to me.
Kathy, based on hair analysis, doctors can determine when the poisoning begins.
They confirmed the presence of heavy metals soon after Scott was cremated.
Oh, God.
Teri.
I took off my wig.
I am not removing my boots.
It's after hours, and I'm on my way out.
No, no.
It's fine.
Uh, can I ask you something? It's about Kim, isn't it? I can tell that she has an issue with the way that you're treating her as partner.
And I think you have an issue, too.
I have an issue? Respect isn't given.
It's earned.
Oh.
That is a good lyric.
I need to write that down.
Teri, what are you talking about? Let me break this down for you.
You know that Lady Bodacious is my musical persona, right? Sure.
Well, the real Lady Bodacious led the Celts to victory against the Romans, but before that, she had to spend months in the northern lands, far from her people.
It wasn't till after she returned to the Celts, battle-scarred and voyage-worn, that they finally made her their queen.
So Kim needs a vacation? No, Parker.
Kim's done her time in the wilderness.
She's spent crazy hours here, made the firm her only priority.
She's really earned your respect.
I respect her.
Sure you do.
That's why you bought her flowers.
Come out already.
I want to see you.
Oh, my God! You look amazing! Oh, good.
Now, what does this dress say to you? It says "Let's forget about what happened.
" It says, "I will love you no matter what," "and I can't wait to get married.
" Exactly! I can't believe that we thought Owen was cheating on me.
Well, we were doing what we could with the information we had.
That's true.
But it is all in the past.
Listen to the dress.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Well, I think that dress is missing one little thing.
My engagement ring.
Of course.
Oh! Now you look perfect.
I do.
The new cover art for my demo.
That's very royal.
Cool, right? So, I know you asked me here to celebrate your $1,000 loan to me.
Yeah, right, about that, um I forgot my checkbook.
Tomorrow is fine, but I am gonna order the most expensive latte on the menu.
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Uku-Todd.
You may remember me as everyone's favorite barista.
But look at me now! I am the first-place winner of the 2012 rock off contest sponsored by Alpha Dog Records.
And I am here to rock the café tonight.
What did he say? I think he said I heard him.
Jane.
Hi.
Wow! Now, I know we have to talk, but first, I have a little confession.
You know, some of the things that you left at my place before you disappeared may have burned up in a small bonfire, but let's just consider that collateral damage from the recent confusion.
Jane, we need to talk.
Hey, that's what I just said.
I just made a reservation at Mozza.
I can't do this.
Okay.
We could stay in.
When I said we needed to finish our conversation, it wasn't so that we would go back to the way things were.
Okay.
But I thought you said it was just a misunderstanding.
It was.
But, still, what happened, it changed me.
Jane, I can't marry you.
My my heart is still weak.
I mean, it could give give out again at any time and No, no, no, no, no.
I understand.
But I I still want to be with you.
Please don't do that.
What? What am I doing? I know that this is unfair, but I am withdrawing my proposal.
You're withdrawing your proposal.
I'm sorry.
We're not getting married.
You know what, Owen? You should be sorry.
You lied, and you kept secrets.
And yet I still took you back.
And now you're running away.
You don't get to leave me, because because I'm leaving you.
Get out.
Go.
Jane.
Oh, my God.
Are you okay? What happened? It's over.
Oh, sweetie.
At least I unloaded.
I mean, I really, really gave him a piece of my mind.
Oh, God.
How did it feel? Remember when I when I died? Mm-hmm.
Like that.
Hey.
Found something.
Why is it so dark in here? What's wrong? Owen and I are over.
Want to talk about it? No.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
What did you what did you find? Right.
It's, uh, Kathy's medical report.
The heavy-metal spike in her blood was caused by thallium.
Thing is, thallium is not a byproduct of the cremation process.
But the poisoning started soon after Scott was cremated.
So the thallium would have to come from the cremation process.
Unless? Unless The thallium was already in Scott's body.
Jane, Scott's blood pressure spiked before he died, and I'm thinking he was poisoned by thallium.
That thallium got into Kathy's body when she started eating his ashes.
Thallium.
Thallium made famous by Agatha Christie's also known as inheritance powder.
Whew.
Wow.
How do you do that? It's a gift.
Um, we need to find judge Maxwell.
All right.
So, you tracked me down for this.
Time is of the essence, Your Honor.
For a homicide, you need proof.
Well, so does the D.
A.
, but the only way to get it is to test the cremains you awarded to Scott's stepmother.
So, you want the ashes back so you can get it over to the crime lab? We looked into Scott's financials.
He was due to inherit the majority of his late father's estate when he turned 25 at the end of this year.
The estate is worth millions of dollars.
And since Scott died prior to his 25th birthday and before getting married, all the money goes to his stepmother.
Who is now in possession of the evidence.
All right, you draft a warrant for the stepmom's home.
I will happily sign it.
There you go, Your Honor.
No.
Believe me.
The pleasure is all mine.
Thank you.
What do you want? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe to give a loan to Lady Bodacious.
You mean the artist formerly known as Lady Bodacious? Excuse me? I'm not an idiot, Luke.
I know you took me to that café to show me that rock off is scam, even by music-industry standards.
I just reported Alpha Dog to the better business bureau.
Well, isn't that very bodacious of you? Just do me a favor.
Next time you want to tell me something, just be direct.
Well, I didn't want to make you feel stupid.
Come on.
Have you seen what I've been wearing lately? You're right.
I'm sorry.
Well, if you were really sorry, you would still loan me that money.
For another contest? Front-row tickets to Cher's fourth farewell tour, 'cause this time I think it's really over.
Not gonna happen.
It was worth a shot.
Jane.
- Hey.
Did the police find the ashes? - No.
Caitlin didn't waste any time.
She already dumped them.
Of course.
She got rid of the only evidence.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I spoke to a detective.
He said without those ashes, there's nothing we can do.
I'm not so sure about that.
I don't know what you mean.
I gave all the ashes to the court.
Kathy, we saw you laughing.
You were just talking to Scott, weren't you? That's crazy.
I think they're on to you, sweetheart.
We see you looking, Kathy.
We promised we'd help you, and that's what we're trying to do.
You need to trust us.
Okay.
When I heard we were going to court, I set aside a handful of the ashes just in case.
I don't care if they make me sick.
I don't care if it isn't real, because it feels real, and I miss him so much.
We understand.
Listen, Kathy.
We have to tell you something.
It looks like Scott may have been poisoned.
What? And in order to prove this, we need what's left of the ashes.
It's true.
Please give them to us.
If I could, I would.
I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to be difficult.
I just ate the last of them.
There's nothing left.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
Um there may be another way.
Ms.
Kaswell? Let me guess.
A box of chocolates? Not quite.
See, I realize there's something we haven't done in awhile.
Corporate minutes for the biannual partners' meeting.
Which I'd like you to lead.
Thank you.
Your message said you had some of the ashes, Ms.
Bingum? Yes.
Thank you for coming.
My client mistakenly set some aside, and as an officer of the court, it is my duty to hand them over to you.
Well, I appreciate that.
You know what? Just one second.
I heard the police were looking into Scott's ashes as evidence in a crime.
So, I decided to do the same.
So I took a spoonful to a private lab and guess what.
Thallium.
Thallium? It's a poison.
Scott was murdered.
Murdered?! I know.
It's terrible.
Who could do such thing? Oh, wait.
I know.
Someone who would become very rich if Scott died before his 25th birthday.
Someone who had access to his food since they had lunch together every Sunday.
Someone like you.
Of course, no one knows about this report.
And if the D.
A.
was to find out about these ashes What do you want? A check for $50,000 in exchange for the report, and once your inheritance clears, I'll take 20% of that, too.
Fine.
We have an understanding? Yes, we do.
We have what we need? The ashes? You want these? I mean, it's okay.
It's just from my fireplace, so, I don't know.
What?! Mrs.
Richards, you're under arrest for the murder of Scott Richards.
No.
You can't arrest me.
I haven't done anything.
It's all on the tape, ma'am.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Let's go.
Wow.
I can't believe we pulled that off.
I can.
What? Jane, you're amazing.
You never, ever give up.
You're sweet.
No, no.
I'm serious.
I never met anyone like you.
It's like you can't take no for an answer.
I mean that in the best way possible.
Thanks, Grayson.
Well, let's go to the hospital.
Let's give Kathy the good news.
Actually, there's something I've got to do.
Uh, do you mind? Not at all.
Yeah, well, see you later.
Bye.
Jane.
You're worried about dying, Owen.
Excuse me? Your heart could give out.
I could crash my car into a truck full of fruit.
You know, we could be poisoned by thallium.
What? That can happen.
Okay.
My point is I know you're scared, and I know that you are trying to protect me from losing you, but I also know we have something amazing.
We have something that can last a lifetime, and whether it's another either way, I am not taking no for an answer, and that is just who I am.
Jane, my proposal is off the table.
Do you still have the ring? Why are you doing this? Because I love you.
Yes.
Of course I have the ring.
Now, you withdrew your proposal.
So it's my turn.
Owen French, will you marry me? But you have to promise that the next time you have a heart attack and go into a coma, you'll at least send me a text.
Yes.
I will.
And I do.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Luke.
I used to think everything happened for a reason Whoo! and, well, I sure hope I was right.
Drop Dead Diva 4x09 - Ashes To Ashes Original air date August 5, 2012 Ladies and gentlemen, we're here today to mourn a death.
The death of a relationship that of Jane and Owen.
It's times like this that we ask ourselves, "why?" Why?! I'm looking at you, Jane.
Why? Fellow mourners, please help me here.
Chime in.
Yes.
You.
The funny Asian sidekick.
Well, in my opinion, Jane can be needy.
- Mm.
Mm.
- Mm.
Mm.
Excuse me.
Oh, oh.
And sometimes bossy.
Oh, most definitely.
Take that back.
And so often, you just don't listen.
And you don't play well with others.
- Really.
- Amen.
And and you don't tell the truth.
- What? - Yeah, you still haven't told me you're really Deb.
- Ooh! Ooh! - Ooh! Ooh! - Which is a lie by omission.
- Thank you.
And, Jane, as much as I might try, there's only so much a guardian angel can do.
True.
Seriously.
Just stop! It was the worst nightmare.
Well, a funeral represents closure, and since you never got closure from Owen in real life, your subconscious is working it out for you.
You know, you're really good at this.
I know.
So, sweetie, Owen left you for another woman in another town, and you owe it to yourself to give him a piece of your mind.
You know, I agree, but I have no idea how to contact him.
Okay.
Let's pretend I'm Owen.
What would you say? Owen.
Why are you wearing ladies' pajamas? What? No.
Come on.
I saw this on "Dr.
Drew.
" Uh okay.
Okay.
So, now I'm about Owen's height, and in a robe, I look like a judge.
Yes, exactly like one.
Tell me off.
Unload your rage.
Stacy.
I said unload.
Owen.
Mm.
Owen.
Yeah.
Ooh, look at that.
It's 9:00.
I got to get to the office.
Ugh.
I thought the firm got shut down.
I mean, you did stay three hours in the clink last night.
Actually, I don't know what's going on.
Parker said meet him at the office for an announcement, so I got to go.
Oh.
Good.
I'm not late.
No.
Parker's not here yet.
Why are you here? Gina's out and I'm back in.
Good for you.
Oh, my God.
What do you think? What are you doing, Teri? From now on, I'm Lady Bodacious.
She's my new musical persona.
Musical persona? Ever heard of Stefani Germanotta? Before, she was a struggling musician, then she added boots, bustiers, and bangs, and bam.
She became Lady Gaga.
That was her hook.
This is mine.
Right, but, see, I think Lady Gaga had some success before the boots and everything.
Well, two weeks ago, I entered my latest single, "Restraining Order," in Alpha Dog Records' 2012 rock off.
And Lady Bodacious won? Well, Teri Lee won.
But Lady Bodacious is gonna take me to the top 40.
Good morning.
Have a seat everyone, and, Teri, take off the wig.
Good news, people.
The firm is back in business, and I am being honored by the FBI for helping them catch Gina Blunt, who will be imprisoned for a very long time.
Parker, we were all arrested.
Right.
The FBI had been building a case against Gina, and when they found out that she landed at our firm, they reached out to me.
Wait, so, you knew she was dirty, and you didn't say anything? Well, once she came on board as an investor, they bugged our phones, they were monitoring her client accounts.
It was a very big sting operation.
And you didn't say anything to anyone? Couldn't risk the operation.
'Course not.
Excuse me.
Anyhow, I'm probably going to get a medal.
Is this meeting over? - Because Jane and Grayson have a client waiting in his office.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Sure.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, guys.
You guys heard Parker.
He's a national hero.
Well, I wouldn't use that word.
No.
Congratulations.
Now can I get a "whoo-hoo"? Whoo-hoo! - Whoo-hoo.
- Whoo-hoo.
Scott had high blood pressure.
The night before he died, it spiked.
I wanted him to go to the E.
R.
, but said the medication just needed to kick in.
Then, in the morning, he was dead.
Kathy, I'm really sorry.
These ashes are all I have left of my fiancé.
- You got to stay strong, Kathy.
- I know.
Scott's stepmother claims she's the rightful owner of the ashes.
Scott had a will drawn up a few years ago.
He left everything to her.
A will is pretty tough to get around.
Tell her about the computer app.
I also have this.
I-after? It's an app that, upon confirmation of one's death, puts out an online last wishes video to friends and family.
Last month, Scott recorded his last wishes to me.
Kathy, I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone.
More than bananas and bacon.
It's what we used to say.
So, if you're seeing this, I am yours forever body and soul.
"Body and soul.
" He wants me to have the ashes.
A video testimony does not supersede a will.
Come on, lady.
You can do better than that.
Kathy, excuse me.
Why do you keep looking over there? This is confidential, right? Of course.
Sometimes I can see Scott.
Or rather, I can I see his ghost.
I know that sounds weird.
Actually, that's not weird at all.
Really? When there's a sudden death, it's not uncommon to think our loved one is still with us.
When my fiancée died, I joined a grief support group.
As for your case, you're not asking to set aside the entire will, just the part about the ashes.
I think we can help.
- How could you ambush me like that? - Ambush you? I am a partner, and you got the firm in bed with the feds without consulting me.
I was the inside man.
I wasn't at liberty to disclose anything.
Okay, well, the sting was over yesterday, so it's been a full 24 hours that you've had to get me up to speed.
You're overreacting.
This isn't the first time you've done something like this.
You failed to tell me that the firm was in financial trouble, and you didn't tell me about our outside investor until the deal was already done.
What do you want me to say? When you figure it out, let me know.
So A grief support group? When Deb died, I was in bad shape.
Those first few weeks, every everywhere I looked, I I'd see her face and hear her voice and smell her perfume.
It was Comforting? Painful.
Like she was so close, but It's just you're not, you know, big on therapy.
You know, I needed to talk to other people who didn't think I was crazy.
I mean, you heard Kathy.
She was worried we thought she was weird.
I just think she's in a lot of pain.
I I'm glad we took this case.
Me too.
Jane? Oh, my God.
Owen? Hi, Jane.
Is this are you really here? I am.
And, Jane, we need to talk.
Yeah.
Yeah, we do.
Owen.
I got to go.
I mean, after all this time, he just shows up? What did he say? "Hi, Jane.
" What a jerk.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Did you unload on him? Did you get your closure? I didn't say anything.
I I I couldn't speak.
I never thought I would see him again.
I swear, Stacy, it was like I saw a ghost.
Well, if Owen is like most ghosts, he'll show up again, so next time, you need to give him a piece of your mind.
That or plunge a stake right into his chest.
Oh, I think you're mixing up ghosts and vampires.
I know.
But vampires are so much sexier.
That's true.
Mm.
A settlement conference.
I got to go.
Okay, but if you run into Owen I will take your advice.
The confrontation, not the stake.
So, if you're seeing this, I am yours forever body and soul.
It's wonderful to see him, even if it's like this.
That being said, it's the first time my client's heard about Scott's alleged intentions to change the will.
And we were really close.
We talked almost every day.
We had lunches on Sunday right up until he passed.
Caitlin, please.
I loved him.
I don't care about money.
I just want to keep his ashes.
Scott and Kathy were gonna be married in less than a week.
At that point, his remains would have legally become his wife's.
I think we can assume if Scott knew he was going to die, he would have changed his will.
Maybe, maybe not, but at this point, my client would like them returned.
Now.
No.
I don't want to hurt you, Kathy.
I lost my husband, Scott's father, three years ago.
And when we scattered his ashes at sea, Scott said he wanted to be buried in the same place in the same way.
I'm just trying to respect those wishes, and if I have to go to court to do it, I will.
Not bad.
Thank you for the applause, but what I need is $1,000.
Why are you asking me instead of Jane? I still owe her for front-row tickets I bought to Cher's third farewell tour.
So you want the money for a concert? No.
You know how I won that contest, right? The 2012 rock off.
Well, the first prize is to get your demo produced by Steve Kish, but you still have to pay for his studio and equipment rental.
Wait.
You won the contest, and you have to pay them? Trust me, Luke.
This is how the music business works.
You have to play to pay or pay to play.
I literally have to pay my dues.
Sounds like you want me to pay your dues.
Well, can I have the money? I'll think about it.
As the creator of I-after, can you explain the program interface? Sure.
It's simple.
A user is given a password, and they can update their "last video" at any time.
A lot more user-friendly and time-sensitive than a normal written will.
Scott Richards updated his final page on June 12th of this year, correct? Yes, that's correct.
Let the record show that the June 12th I-after video was uploaded more than a year after Scott signed his will.
Accordingly, we maintain that the video reflects Scott's true last wishes.
Well, I agree.
Public policy is to ensure that the decedent's last wishes are fulfilled.
Hence Hold on, Your Honor.
Before you rule, we also have a witness.
Sarah Kelton, Kathy's sister.
Oh, God.
Objection.
This witness was not on their list.
We had no intention of calling her till Your Honor pointed to issues of public policy.
We now believe her testimony is essential.
I can have her in court in an hour.
Okay.
Let's do it.
Someone got flowers.
Ooh.
I bet they're from that tennis pro I met at the M&A seminar.
They're from Parker.
He included an apology note.
What were you thinking? Is this a trick question? I figured out what I wanted to say.
I'm sorry.
Parker, flowers are for the girl you didn't call after screwing, not the partner you screwed over.
Screwed over? If I were a man, would you have sent these? - You're not a man.
- No.
I'm a partner, and for some reason, you can't get that through your head.
Ms.
Kelton, do you think the court should give your sister Scott's ashes.
No.
Why not? Because Do I have to answer that? I mean, can't you just trust me on this? Well, that would be nice, but I need you to address the court.
Okay.
I don't think she should get the ashes because she's eating them.
She told me she's eaten half a pound.
I'm sorry, Kathy, but what you're doing isn't right, and I don't know how else to stop you.
Objection! I think.
Overruled.
No grounds.
Ms.
Kelton, is this true? Yes.
But Your Honor, we assert that eating his ashes was not part of Scott's last intentions.
Indeed, it's tantamount to corpse desecration.
That is a gross mischaracterization.
And therefore any claim she has on the ashes should be denied.
All right.
The court will take possession of the cremains until I can wrap my head around this.
Bailiff, would you No.
Please don't take Scott.
Kathy, you have to let go.
Ma'am, if you don't turn them over, I will hold you in contempt.
Ma'am.
Grayson, she needs mental help, not legal representation.
Everyone reacts differently to loss.
Grieving is an extremely personal and private matter.
I understand.
I mean, I really do, but snacking on ashes? I mean, it's going too far.
She lost the man she loved.
She planned to spend a lifetime with him, and I won't turn my back on her.
Thank you.
Kathy, come in.
I should have told you the whole truth.
We argued on your behalf that Scott wanted you to have his ashes.
Scott wants me to eat his cremains.
It's the only time I can see him.
After you eat them? Yes, that's right.
That's when his ghost appears.
Kathy, let's how did this all begin? After I got home from the crematorium, I was pouring his ashes into the mantel box when some of them spilled on my fingers, and I didn't want to rinse them down the sink, so I licked them off.
A few minutes later, Scott came to me for the first time.
Okay.
Look, I don't really care what you think of me, but I want the ashes back and you said you'd help.
And we will.
Okay.
Hey, there.
I'm a friend of Teri Lee.
She won first place in the rock off.
Congratulations to your friend.
Anyway, she asked me for a loan, so I thought I'd come in and get the straight dope from Mr.
Kish.
Steve's in a meeting.
I can wait.
Steve is the man! Hey, man.
I still can't believe I won the rock off.
I mean, I almost didn't send in my demo.
Mm.
It's very exciting.
Cash, credit, or Got the check right here.
$1,000 for studio and equipment.
Done.
Excuse me.
But you won first place in the rock off? Yeah, man.
First place.
Hey.
Check out my show later.
Jane.
Owen.
Excuse me.
I have an appointment.
I understand.
If you can just hear me out.
It won't take long.
I'm listening.
Good.
Thank you.
Actually, I'm not listening.
I'm talking.
You proposed, we got engaged, and then you just took off.
What kind of man does that? Wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing? Oh, my God! Jane, my heart stopped.
I had an operation.
Okay.
Okay, start at the beginning and talk very, very slowly.
A month ago, I had a physical.
Test showed an irregular heartbeat, premature ventricular contractions.
Why didn't you tell me? I had just proposed.
I didn't want you to worry.
So I booked an appointment with an expert at the Mayo clinic and made up this story that I was visiting Eddie.
Look.
I know it was wrong.
I know.
The plan was I get the test, I would call you with the results.
The day I get to the clinic, I had a heart attack.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, I don't remember much.
They wheeled me into surgery, I had the operation.
They put me in this medically induced coma.
Why why why wouldn't they tell someone? Jane, nobody knew where I was.
Not you, not my sister, nobody.
But Teri went through your credit-card bills.
You stayed at a motel.
For one night before I checked in to the clinic.
So you're fine? I'm better.
And I'm so sorry that I put you through this.
I have to go.
I understand.
Can we finish this conversation tonight? Yes.
Uh come over to my place around 7:00? I'll be there.
The paperweight, the bowl of glass beads, the candle all have one thing in common they're all forged from the cremains of dead people.
What's your point? Afterlife products are becoming commonplace.
According to you.
According to the Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce, the business for afterlife products has doubled within the last decade.
A paperweight made from ashes is a far cry from eating ashes.
Well, I have sympathy for your client, but I tend to agree with Mr.
Carlyle.
Therefore Wait.
Wait.
Your Honor, grieving is an extremely personal and private matter, and the disposition of ashes is about how the loved one left behind chooses to honor the dead.
Now, it's legal to make candles and beads, and it's legal to scatter the ashes at sea or shoot them into space.
So is an ash brownie really that far behind? Theoretically, we can discuss this all day long, but the technical result of Kathy's ash eating is she is flushing Scott down the toilet, which is a violation of California health codes 7054 and 7116.
Okay.
By that argument, catholics who ascribe to the doctrine of transubstantiation believe that they are literally eating the body and blood of Christ, which would be outlawed under those health codes.
And I'm sorry I don't see Mr.
Carlyle putting the Pope on the stand.
Okay, you know what? If this is truly Ms.
Kelton's attempt to honor her dead fiancé, then I need to hear it from her.
Ms.
Kelton, is it your rational and sincere belief that you are honoring your fiancé by eating his ashes? Yes.
And you realize that people find your behavior strange and even disgusting.
I do, but it's none of their business.
I loved Scott, and this it my way of staying connected to him.
Thank you.
Ms.
Kelton, you've eaten half a pound of ashes in two months.
Yes, I guess that's about right.
So at that rate, in a year, he'd be gone.
I don't like to think about that.
That lawyer's a total buzz kill, and the judge kind of looks like your aunt Gertrude before the nose job.
Ms.
Kelton, are you all right? Yes.
I'm fine.
What are you laughing at? Nothing.
What are you looking at? Ma'am, you're under oath.
I'm looking at Scott.
Your deceased fiancé? Yes, that's right.
The defendant's just admitted to seeing visions.
It's not a vision.
He's a ghost.
Okay.
Your Honor, the state cannot trust the cremains to a delusional woman.
Our client's mental state should not be a factor here.
Oh, on the contrary, Ms.
Bingum, you have argued for an exception to the law due to your client's rational and sincere beliefs.
Now, at this point, I have no other choice but to suggest that Ms.
Kelton get herself evaluated by a mental-health expert while I award the ashes to Mrs.
Richards.
- No, that's not right! - Please be seated.
You can't do this to me.
I need the ashes! Please be seated.
I need them.
Please, Your Honor.
Please.
Are you all right? Are you all right, Ms Bailiff! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Kathy.
Kathy, are you okay? We need an ambulance.
Grayson.
Hey.
Where am I? You're in the hospital.
You're okay.
Where's Scott? Um, Kathy, he's gone.
I mean, why why can't I see him? Where are the ashes? The judge awarded them to his stepmother.
No.
No.
We need to get them back.
Kathy, we have to tell you something, and it is not going to be easy to hear.
After you fainted, the doctors ran a series of tests, and they found heavy metals in your blood.
Heavy-metal toxicity causes dizziness, fainting, and, in its acute form, hallucinations.
So, seeing Scott was a figment of your imagination caused by heavy metals in your blood.
I don't understand.
The heavy metals are a byproduct of the cremation process.
When you were eating the ashes, it seems you were poisoning yourself.
No.
No.
Scott came to me.
Kathy, based on hair analysis, doctors can determine when the poisoning begins.
They confirmed the presence of heavy metals soon after Scott was cremated.
Oh, God.
Teri.
I took off my wig.
I am not removing my boots.
It's after hours, and I'm on my way out.
No, no.
It's fine.
Uh, can I ask you something? It's about Kim, isn't it? I can tell that she has an issue with the way that you're treating her as partner.
And I think you have an issue, too.
I have an issue? Respect isn't given.
It's earned.
Oh.
That is a good lyric.
I need to write that down.
Teri, what are you talking about? Let me break this down for you.
You know that Lady Bodacious is my musical persona, right? Sure.
Well, the real Lady Bodacious led the Celts to victory against the Romans, but before that, she had to spend months in the northern lands, far from her people.
It wasn't till after she returned to the Celts, battle-scarred and voyage-worn, that they finally made her their queen.
So Kim needs a vacation? No, Parker.
Kim's done her time in the wilderness.
She's spent crazy hours here, made the firm her only priority.
She's really earned your respect.
I respect her.
Sure you do.
That's why you bought her flowers.
Come out already.
I want to see you.
Oh, my God! You look amazing! Oh, good.
Now, what does this dress say to you? It says "Let's forget about what happened.
" It says, "I will love you no matter what," "and I can't wait to get married.
" Exactly! I can't believe that we thought Owen was cheating on me.
Well, we were doing what we could with the information we had.
That's true.
But it is all in the past.
Listen to the dress.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Well, I think that dress is missing one little thing.
My engagement ring.
Of course.
Oh! Now you look perfect.
I do.
The new cover art for my demo.
That's very royal.
Cool, right? So, I know you asked me here to celebrate your $1,000 loan to me.
Yeah, right, about that, um I forgot my checkbook.
Tomorrow is fine, but I am gonna order the most expensive latte on the menu.
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Uku-Todd.
You may remember me as everyone's favorite barista.
But look at me now! I am the first-place winner of the 2012 rock off contest sponsored by Alpha Dog Records.
And I am here to rock the café tonight.
What did he say? I think he said I heard him.
Jane.
Hi.
Wow! Now, I know we have to talk, but first, I have a little confession.
You know, some of the things that you left at my place before you disappeared may have burned up in a small bonfire, but let's just consider that collateral damage from the recent confusion.
Jane, we need to talk.
Hey, that's what I just said.
I just made a reservation at Mozza.
I can't do this.
Okay.
We could stay in.
When I said we needed to finish our conversation, it wasn't so that we would go back to the way things were.
Okay.
But I thought you said it was just a misunderstanding.
It was.
But, still, what happened, it changed me.
Jane, I can't marry you.
My my heart is still weak.
I mean, it could give give out again at any time and No, no, no, no, no.
I understand.
But I I still want to be with you.
Please don't do that.
What? What am I doing? I know that this is unfair, but I am withdrawing my proposal.
You're withdrawing your proposal.
I'm sorry.
We're not getting married.
You know what, Owen? You should be sorry.
You lied, and you kept secrets.
And yet I still took you back.
And now you're running away.
You don't get to leave me, because because I'm leaving you.
Get out.
Go.
Jane.
Oh, my God.
Are you okay? What happened? It's over.
Oh, sweetie.
At least I unloaded.
I mean, I really, really gave him a piece of my mind.
Oh, God.
How did it feel? Remember when I when I died? Mm-hmm.
Like that.
Hey.
Found something.
Why is it so dark in here? What's wrong? Owen and I are over.
Want to talk about it? No.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
What did you what did you find? Right.
It's, uh, Kathy's medical report.
The heavy-metal spike in her blood was caused by thallium.
Thing is, thallium is not a byproduct of the cremation process.
But the poisoning started soon after Scott was cremated.
So the thallium would have to come from the cremation process.
Unless? Unless The thallium was already in Scott's body.
Jane, Scott's blood pressure spiked before he died, and I'm thinking he was poisoned by thallium.
That thallium got into Kathy's body when she started eating his ashes.
Thallium.
Thallium made famous by Agatha Christie's also known as inheritance powder.
Whew.
Wow.
How do you do that? It's a gift.
Um, we need to find judge Maxwell.
All right.
So, you tracked me down for this.
Time is of the essence, Your Honor.
For a homicide, you need proof.
Well, so does the D.
A.
, but the only way to get it is to test the cremains you awarded to Scott's stepmother.
So, you want the ashes back so you can get it over to the crime lab? We looked into Scott's financials.
He was due to inherit the majority of his late father's estate when he turned 25 at the end of this year.
The estate is worth millions of dollars.
And since Scott died prior to his 25th birthday and before getting married, all the money goes to his stepmother.
Who is now in possession of the evidence.
All right, you draft a warrant for the stepmom's home.
I will happily sign it.
There you go, Your Honor.
No.
Believe me.
The pleasure is all mine.
Thank you.
What do you want? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe to give a loan to Lady Bodacious.
You mean the artist formerly known as Lady Bodacious? Excuse me? I'm not an idiot, Luke.
I know you took me to that café to show me that rock off is scam, even by music-industry standards.
I just reported Alpha Dog to the better business bureau.
Well, isn't that very bodacious of you? Just do me a favor.
Next time you want to tell me something, just be direct.
Well, I didn't want to make you feel stupid.
Come on.
Have you seen what I've been wearing lately? You're right.
I'm sorry.
Well, if you were really sorry, you would still loan me that money.
For another contest? Front-row tickets to Cher's fourth farewell tour, 'cause this time I think it's really over.
Not gonna happen.
It was worth a shot.
Jane.
- Hey.
Did the police find the ashes? - No.
Caitlin didn't waste any time.
She already dumped them.
Of course.
She got rid of the only evidence.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I spoke to a detective.
He said without those ashes, there's nothing we can do.
I'm not so sure about that.
I don't know what you mean.
I gave all the ashes to the court.
Kathy, we saw you laughing.
You were just talking to Scott, weren't you? That's crazy.
I think they're on to you, sweetheart.
We see you looking, Kathy.
We promised we'd help you, and that's what we're trying to do.
You need to trust us.
Okay.
When I heard we were going to court, I set aside a handful of the ashes just in case.
I don't care if they make me sick.
I don't care if it isn't real, because it feels real, and I miss him so much.
We understand.
Listen, Kathy.
We have to tell you something.
It looks like Scott may have been poisoned.
What? And in order to prove this, we need what's left of the ashes.
It's true.
Please give them to us.
If I could, I would.
I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to be difficult.
I just ate the last of them.
There's nothing left.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
Um there may be another way.
Ms.
Kaswell? Let me guess.
A box of chocolates? Not quite.
See, I realize there's something we haven't done in awhile.
Corporate minutes for the biannual partners' meeting.
Which I'd like you to lead.
Thank you.
Your message said you had some of the ashes, Ms.
Bingum? Yes.
Thank you for coming.
My client mistakenly set some aside, and as an officer of the court, it is my duty to hand them over to you.
Well, I appreciate that.
You know what? Just one second.
I heard the police were looking into Scott's ashes as evidence in a crime.
So, I decided to do the same.
So I took a spoonful to a private lab and guess what.
Thallium.
Thallium? It's a poison.
Scott was murdered.
Murdered?! I know.
It's terrible.
Who could do such thing? Oh, wait.
I know.
Someone who would become very rich if Scott died before his 25th birthday.
Someone who had access to his food since they had lunch together every Sunday.
Someone like you.
Of course, no one knows about this report.
And if the D.
A.
was to find out about these ashes What do you want? A check for $50,000 in exchange for the report, and once your inheritance clears, I'll take 20% of that, too.
Fine.
We have an understanding? Yes, we do.
We have what we need? The ashes? You want these? I mean, it's okay.
It's just from my fireplace, so, I don't know.
What?! Mrs.
Richards, you're under arrest for the murder of Scott Richards.
No.
You can't arrest me.
I haven't done anything.
It's all on the tape, ma'am.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Let's go.
Wow.
I can't believe we pulled that off.
I can.
What? Jane, you're amazing.
You never, ever give up.
You're sweet.
No, no.
I'm serious.
I never met anyone like you.
It's like you can't take no for an answer.
I mean that in the best way possible.
Thanks, Grayson.
Well, let's go to the hospital.
Let's give Kathy the good news.
Actually, there's something I've got to do.
Uh, do you mind? Not at all.
Yeah, well, see you later.
Bye.
Jane.
You're worried about dying, Owen.
Excuse me? Your heart could give out.
I could crash my car into a truck full of fruit.
You know, we could be poisoned by thallium.
What? That can happen.
Okay.
My point is I know you're scared, and I know that you are trying to protect me from losing you, but I also know we have something amazing.
We have something that can last a lifetime, and whether it's another either way, I am not taking no for an answer, and that is just who I am.
Jane, my proposal is off the table.
Do you still have the ring? Why are you doing this? Because I love you.
Yes.
Of course I have the ring.
Now, you withdrew your proposal.
So it's my turn.
Owen French, will you marry me? But you have to promise that the next time you have a heart attack and go into a coma, you'll at least send me a text.
Yes.
I will.
And I do.