Hannah Montana s04e09 Episode Script
I'll Always Remember You
== HM.
S04.
E09 == (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF CAMPTOwln RACES) (IN HIGH-PlTCHED VOlCES) A Hannah Special's here once more Doo dah Doo dah You won't believe what is in store Oh' the doo dah day Secrets and romance i'll even do a dance (RlCO GRUNTlNG) -Rico! -Rico! Sorry we'll be here to help you through Doo dah Doo dah Me, the dork, his girfiend, too Oh the doo dah day Don't call me a dork He's mad 'cause we're in love i was mad, but now i'm glad to give this frienaly shove -Hey£¬ don't shove him ! -Yeah ! Are you just gonna let him shove you like that? Come on .
Come on .
Ow! Jesse£¬ i just don't want to make the same mistake i've made in the past, so i just want to come right out and say it.
i'm Hannah Montana Eh? (MlMlCKlNG JESSE)whoa£¬ dude£¬ stop£¬ you're blowing my mind ! i mean £¬ you're Hannah £¬ you're Miley£¬ you're Hannah .
who am i dating? You're tearing me apart will you stop? will you? why are we even rehearsing this? i mean £¬ you've told the secret enough times i'm surprised the pizza delivery guy doesn't know.
Mmm-hmm "who ordered the meat lovers special?" "i did and i'm Hannah Montana!" Oh £¬ stop sulking .
You've been mad ever since i told Siena about the secret She didn't know who Lola was! Get over it! All right£¬ look at me! i wear Day-Glo wigs i dress like a Japanese cartoon character How can she not know who Lola is? Come on £¬ she's dating Jackson She's one drumstick short of a jumbo bucket Now can we get back to the person with the real problem? (GASPS)Lola's real to me how i'm going to tell him the Hannah secret lt's ruined too many relationships and i'm not gonna let it mess up this one Or you could not tell him £¬ and before you know it we're off to college together£¬ sharing a dorm room where i have to listen to you complain about how bad you feel for not coming clean to Jesse£¬ and there's no place for me to hide because i'm trapped with you in a 12-by-12 foot concrete cell that's filled with tear-soaked tissues dripping in snot! On second thought£¬ yeah £¬ maybe you should tell him well £¬ that was a long trip for nothing How long have you known me? Point taken (DOORBELL RlNGlNG) Now get out of here No£¬ hang on .
lf you're gonna tell him about Hannah i should tell him about Lola Lilly£¬ no one.
.
Cares! i get it.
i get it wow£¬ i really want to tell you you get more beautiful every time i see you But that'd be going against my brooding rocker image so i'm just gonna say£¬ hey That works for me Oh £¬ sweet niblets£¬ can't you at least warn a guy? Good thing i got that Smokey and the Bandit marathon running on cable You sounded a little nervous on the phone.
Everything okay? (SlGHS) i'm fine Uh-oh .
walking me to the couch .
This can't be good No.
i just.
.
i have something really important i need to tell you And you could be mad .
Really mad But i just care about you too much to not tell you that.
.
That you're Hannah Montana? Please don't interrupt me.
This is really.
.
.
Huh? i know you're Hannah Montana How? lt was that blabbermouth Siena£¬ wasn't it? Didn't need any help on this one.
You both have the same beautiful eyes and amazing smile And then there's the fact that i told Miley that my dad was stationed overseas£¬ and then two days later Hannah had a concert for kids whose parents were stationed overseas Hmm i was hoping you'd think that was just a cowinkydink Come on £¬ six years and the rest of the world hasn't put it together well £¬ the rest of the world isn't in love with Miley Stewart You're in love with me? Yeah Um .
.
Unless you're not in love with me£¬ then i take that back because£¬ you know£¬ i'm cool Aw Oh .
Hey£¬ Lola Yes! Yes! Finally! Somebody knows Lola! i always liked him .
All right£¬ bye This is awesome Now you can be back in the band and we can be together all the time Ooh .
Just one simple rule.
Just 'cause you're mushy on Miley doesn't mean you can be huggy on Hannah what? Come on £¬ i can't have the world thinking that Hannah steals a boyfriend £¬ even though she wouldn't be stealing her boyfriend 'cause my boyfriend is her boyfriend which brings me right back to£¬ what? You're dating Miley£¬ not Hannah Got it.
You just tell me which one to kiss This one Okay£¬ the two minute kissing window is now closed -Dad .
-Come on £¬ Mr.
Stewart (GRUNTlNG) Look at this£¬ Jesse.
Your horoscope says you are dangerously close to a slow£¬ painful death Now£¬ come on £¬ get the TV on .
lt's time for the monkey to drive MlLEY£º (SlNGlNG) when you ask do you wanna dance my barefoot Cinaerella Don't need no slippers or a party dress The way you're looking right now is what i like the best And then you'll say do you wanna take a chance And stay with me forever No one'll ever be more beautiful my barefoot, barefoot Cinaerella (AUDlENCE CHEERlNG) (MUSlC STOPS) You rocked Not hard when i'm with you Hey£¬ hey£¬ hey.
i'm Hannah Hannah Montana£¬ ladies and gentlemen And apparently her new boyfriend .
why is it always the guitar player? why not a nice cameraman like my nephew£¬ Lenny? But seriously£¬ i'm happy for you £¬ Hannah .
And what's your name? You don't want to know my name Come on .
You kissed her on national TV what£¬ are you shy all of a sudden? Come on £¬ what's your name? -Jesse.
-Jesse! There you have it Hannah and Jesse£¬ America's new sweethearts Good night£¬ everybody.
Bye£¬ bye.
Thanks for watching Bye (AUDlENCE CHEERlNG) (MlLEY wHOOPlNG) MlLEY£º Here we go' everyboay! (SlNGlNG) Come on! You get the limo out front Hottest styles' every shoe' every color Yeah' when you're famous it can be kind of fun lt's really you but no one ever aiscovers who would have thought that a girl like me A girl like me would aouble as a superstar? (wHOOPlNG) You get the best of both worals Chill it out, take it slow Then you rock out the show You get the best of both worals Mix it all together And you know that it's the best of both worals (LAUGHlNG) (SlNGlNG) Jesse's back in the band But then things got out of hand He gave Hannah a kiss Something the word aian't miss On Leno Hannah Montana was getting frozen yogurt yesterday Did you hear about this? Did you hear about this? when asked why she got both chocolate and vanilla she said she wanted the best of both swirls Did you hear about this? (SlNGlNG) Now Mile and Jesse can't aate ls that a problem? Just wait who cares? myy Leno was great This is the guy that you aate So sad wow£¬ this thing is everywhere Hannah and Jesse' America 's new sweethearts Good night, everyboay Bye' bye.
Thanks for watching Oh £¬ great£¬ i just took over "most viewed" from "Kitty Kat Flushing a Toilet.
" Uh £¬ that just means that you're bigger than "Meow£¬ meow.
" Flush .
"Meow£¬ meow.
" Flush (wHlSPERS) You should be proud what was l thinking £¬ inviting Jesse back in the band? i mean £¬ Hannah's irresistible.
There's no way that he could go against her feminine charms i just want to go home£¬ put the wig on and smack that home wrecker in the face You know£¬ as much as l'd love to see how that works i think you're freaking out for no reason i mean £¬ you can still date Jesse as Miley£¬ just not in public why does my life have to be so complicated? Oh £¬ yeah Poor little most famous Now wili you just focus on the positives£¬ okay? we're both going to college together£¬ we both have wonderful boyfriends -Except for you're more.
.
.
-No No cracks about Oliver until i find something equally embarrassing about Jesse Good luck with that Yeah £¬ i know.
well £¬ it's not that big a deal lt's not like Hannah Montana hasn't complicated your life before Yeah .
And i dealt with it then and i'll deal with it now -Hey£¬ there you are.
-Jesse! whoa£¬ whoa£¬ dude! You're that guy dating Hannah Montana.
Did you know that? Yeah £¬ i saw it on Leno (LAUGHS) Me£¬ too! Up top£¬ bro! Yeah Jesse£¬ what are you doing here? Casual acquaintance and platonic friend -Nice.
-Your dad told me you were at the pier i just had some great news i had to tell you i can't wait£¬ aforementioned casual acquaintance and platonic friend Overkill My dad's coming home from overseas My gosh £¬ Jesse£¬ that's great Miley Dang it Hey£¬ it's okay.
i don't think anybody noticed One at a time£¬ bro Oh' Hannah Montana 's new boyfriend, Jesse' apparently caught cheating toaay AUDlENCE £º Ooh! Yeah' yeah.
Hannah's response' 'Noboay's penect 'but this guy's a super, superjerk.
" Oh £¬ man .
My mom watches Leno well £¬ if it makes you feel any better both Miley and Hannah love their "super£¬ super jerk.
" well £¬ i'm glad you think this is funny but you're not the one who's a talk show punch line You're a cute punch line.
Oh £¬ Jesse£¬ come on Oh £¬ come on £¬ Jesse.
i know it's my fault£¬ but.
.
Okay£¬ this is where you say£¬ "No£¬ it's not your fault£¬ honey "we're in this together.
" Let me try it again .
Jesse£¬ i know it's my fault£¬ but.
.
Your turn .
Doesn't have to be "honey.
" Could be "lamb chop£¬ cupcake.
.
.
" Miley Oh £¬ come on .
You can do better than that You don't get it Everybody in America knows me as the super£¬ super jerk who broke Hannah Montana's heart Everybody? Now come on £¬ you're being a little dramatic i mean £¬ the people that know you and love you don't feel that way (CELL PHONE BUZZlNG) Really? My 5-year-old niece just texted me this "Uncle Jesse£¬ you're a big £¬ fat£¬ stinking .
.
.
ooh !" How does she know that word? (CELL PHONE BUZZlNG) And my grandma's weighing in Probably just to say that she loves you and that everything's gonna be okay Yeow! Now you know where your little niece got the trucker mouth Look£¬ Jesse£¬ you had to know that dating me was sometimes gonna be a pain in the.
.
well £¬ i'm not your grandma£¬ so i'm just gonna say complicated Dating me would be a pain in the complicated But i'm worth it£¬ aren't l? Again this is where you say£¬ "No.
.
.
" what? what do i say? And to which one of you? Because if i'm dating Hannah £¬ now i'm cheating on Miley And if i'm dating Miley£¬ then i'm the jerk who broke Hannah Montana's heart -Either way£¬ i'm just.
.
.
-(CELL PHONE BUZZlNG) And that's my mom Ooh £¬ well £¬ if we ever get married she is not gonna be baby-sitting the triplets i have very specific fortune cookies? would you stop joking about this? Listen £¬ Jesse£¬ sometimes joking about it is the only way that i get through it You just stepped into this.
This has been my life for six years Please£¬ let's just forget about it Come on .
Pizza£¬ a movie£¬ anything .
Let's go Pizza and a movie is not gonna fix this Maybe you're right.
lce cream and bowling .
Let's go! Miley.
i'm sorry£¬ maybe you can deal with this£¬ but.
.
Please don't say it .
.
.
i can't So you're just gonna walk away from us? As long as there's two of you £¬ i don't think there can be an us (SlGHS) You know£¬ Dad £¬ i really thought that Jesse was different i thought he could handle all this Ah £¬ you just got to give the boy some time£¬ Mile lf he really loves you £¬ he'll be back lf he really loves that pretty boy face of his£¬ he won't be Daddy Oh £¬ i'm sorry£¬ honey.
i just hate seeing you this hurt Truth is£¬ whether you're ready to hear it or not£¬ if he comes back£¬ that's great And if he doesn't£¬ there'll be other boys i keep praying there won't be£¬ but there always are i don't know.
Maybe i should just give up guys for good Oh £¬ now you're just teasing me Honey£¬ the truth is life has a funny way of working things out One door closes£¬ another one opens All you've got to be ready to tell yourself is.
.
(SCREAMlNG EXClTEDLY) when your daughter asks if her best friend can live with you think about it for more than a second (CONTlNUES SCREAMlNG) And then say no ls it? Stanford Admissions Offices! BOTH £º Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Thank you Aw£¬ look at that£¬ honey.
You've already forgot about Jesse (CRYlNG) Jesse Aw£¬ i'm sorry.
i just meant.
.
(GRUNTlNG) Zip it! Look£¬ nothing personal £¬ but sometimes you just.
.
Have a tendency to be a big dumb daddy? i would never say that because you let me live here but because you said it.
Oh £¬ yeah ! Now£¬ look£¬ Miley Jesse.
.
.
That guy your dad just mentioned is your past and these letters are your future i guess you're right Of course i'm right! Okay£¬ now we'll open them on three Ready? One£¬ two£¬ three Three! i didn't get in i didn't either Oh £¬ i'm sorry£¬ girls.
i'm sorry you both didn't well £¬ Lilly£¬ yours says you got accepted No£¬ it doesn't i just read that.
.
No£¬ no.
No£¬ it doesn't.
No.
How can you read it? lt's just moving all over the place Let me see that£¬ Lilly i'm sorry.
But i mean £¬ how much more bad news can you take? i mean £¬ you just found out you don't get to go to college with your best friend the day after you get rejected by the best boyfriend you ever had .
And now you've got an eye twitch But my grades are awesome.
i killed it on the SAT This is so not fair! i know.
i mean £¬ i guess that stuff just wasn't important to Jesse And Stanford accepted you? Lilly£¬ stand extremely still and don't let her sense your fear There has got to be some kind of mistake! Lilly and i have just about the same grades and she only did a little bit better on the SAT and that's because my energy drink made me have to tinkle twice and Lilly can hold it like a camel ! i must say£¬ the fact that you just drove 200 miles to plead your case is very impressive That's the kind of character we look for here at Stanford we're going to be very sad not having you here.
Cookie? This isn't fair.
i am being discriminated against because i have a small bladder And we are not a group that you want picketing in your lobby i'm really sorry£¬ Miss Stewart£¬ but the difference between you and your friend isn't academic or fluid related Miss Truscott held part-time jobs£¬ she was a cheerleader she was on the volleyball team £¬ the skateboard club£¬ the surf club And you were a tricycle-riding pirate mascot for half a basketball game And in 1 2th grade£¬ you climbed a rope That sucker went all the way to the ceiling Yes£¬ i think you mentioned that in your essay "To the Ceiling and Back£º a Girl £¬ a Rope and a Dream .
" which was exactly the required 500 words And Lilly's was 502 Just saying £¬ rule follower£¬ rule breaker Miley£¬ you are an excellent student but you don't have any extra-curricular activities And here at Stanford £¬ we're looking for students with a skosh more But come on £¬ you have to let me in .
This is the only college i applied to This is the only school you applied to? You know£¬ on one hand £¬ that could sound incredibly dumb But on the other hand £¬ it could be a display of admirable school spirit Doesn't show up on a test£¬ but£¬ honey£¬ at the pep rally i will skosh you up one side and down the other Go Stanford ! whoo-hoo! (HUMS) whoo-hoo! Hey! Okay.
Please.
i appreciate your enthusiasm but£¬ all right£¬ tell me something you've done in the last four years that's the least bit out of the ordinary Other than that bizarre "Stanford whoo" thing Are you kidding me? The last four years of my life have been anything but ordinary wonderful .
How? i can't tell you Then i can't reconsider your application But if i could tell you £¬ you'd be all "nuh-uh .
" And l'd be like "yuh-huh .
" And you'd be like "No£¬ way.
" l'd be like "Yeah £¬ way.
" wait.
Please.
i never even got a cookie (SlNGlNG) lf you're wonaering what she'll do Now that her plans have fallen through And you know she's got a real strong will And she's got lots more show to fill Now she's going' going back to Malibu -wee kinaa thought we'd be singing' too -wee kinaa thought we'd be singing' too lnstead we're stuck in her chorus line (CHUCKLES) 'Cause your agent's not as good as mine wvait, wait, if Miley leaves we have no riae Hey£¬ Miley£¬ how far away are you? i'm turning into the driveway£¬ and i'll be in £¬ in a second Hey£¬ i know you're disappointed £¬ so i'm making your favorite dinner Mac and cheese and bacon ! That's your favorite£¬ Dad You know£¬ the way she's feeling £¬ that probably wouldn't have made any difference anyway.
This way at least one of us'll be happy i heard that Hey£¬ you're not supposed to be talking while you're driving ! well £¬ i already lost Jesse to Hannah .
And now i can't go to college because i was busy selling out stadiums and meeting the Queen of England instead of holding a spit bucket for the girls' wrestling team ! (EXCLAlMS lN FRUSTRATlON) Look£¬ i know.
i was really thinking about this You know£¬ what if you said you were Hannah Montana's assistant? i mean £¬ that way£¬ you still did all the stuff£¬ but as her assistant You couldn't have thought of that (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF ON THE ROAD A GAln) ln the car again Miley Stewart's back in the car again Driving places she has alreaay been Miley's ariving back to school again Yee-haw! Today our topic is heartbreak and disappointment who out there has lost a boyfriend recently£¬ or a good friend or maybe didn't get into the college they wanted to get into? (EXCLAlMS) Nice try£¬ honey i'm a visual manifestation of your over-stressed subconscious And i'm with you for the next 200 miles So you're a mess.
Let's start from there Hannah Montana's assistant? That sounds fascinating why didn't you include that in your application? Miss Montana likes me to keep it very low profile She's very classy and even prettier in person i must say this could change everything Yes! Ooh £¬ are you gonna finish that sandwich? l've been driving all day -Please.
-Thanks Now we're just gonna need some proof of employment Some what? Some pay stubs£¬ tax records just something i can submit to the board Miss Montana pays in cash ls proving this going to be a problem? Of course not (GROwLS) How'd it go? Stupid proof of employment.
Tax stubs No cookie.
i drove 200 miles just to say.
.
You want proof£¬ Cookie Lady£¬ i'll show you proof Hey£¬ uh £¬ why didn't you just use the emergency Hannah kit you keep in your car? Because i forgot! (MlMlCS CAT SNARLlNG) Yes£¬ Miley£¬ the directions you gave me were perfect as usual Now£¬ if i could just find that incredibly competent and extremely attractive admissions woman that you described (GASPS) Oh £¬ wait£¬ there she is You are the best.
Kiss£¬ kiss.
Bye Hi .
Miley Stewart£¬ best assistant any international pop sensation has ever had .
You must be Mrs.
Jameson Oh £¬ my goodness£¬ it really is you Oh £¬ i thought she was just one of those desperate types that would do or say anything to get in i mean £¬ she did this£¬ "Stanford whoo" thing that was well £¬ borderline creepy i'll pass that along The girl loves constructive criticism plays well with others and is an avid flosser Healthy gums£¬ healthy mind Now£¬ if you could just give me that orientation package i'll take it with me£¬ help save you the postage -Miss Montana.
.
.
-No worries lt's just my way of contributing to higher education But i will need a receipt for tax purposes lt isn't that.
lt's apparently Miley misunderstood i didn't say this would get her in £¬ i said we'd reconsider But even if we do accept her£¬ she goes to the end of the waiting list (STAMMERlNG) The waiting list? Oh £¬ well £¬ look£¬ Miley is a wonderful applicant£¬ it's just that the information came a little late£¬ and the board only makes exceptions in very rare cases well £¬ like£¬ for example£¬ if you were applying Me? well £¬ of course.
Having someone of your accomplishments here would be a wonderful addition to the university So i could get in no problem? well £¬ assuming you had Miley's grades and SAT scores wait£¬ wait£¬ wait£¬ wait i am very tired here£¬ so i need to get this clear This may sound crazy.
Let me get this right lf Miley and i were somehow£¬ i don't know smooshed into the same person £¬ we could get in? (LAUGHS) well £¬ if you put it like that£¬ i guess you would Unfortunately£¬ that's not the case Although £¬ oddly enough £¬ you do have the same eye twitch That's not the only thing we have in common lt just so happens that Miley and i are the same sign of the zodiac Sagittarius£¬ which means we're the fire sign and over-excitable eyelids.
i got to go (DOOR CLOSES) (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF fEELlNGS) Problems She's got nothing but problems She's lost Jesse and Lilly All because of the wig lf she came clean All her problems wouldjust go away Or would theyjust begin? (MlMlCKlNG CATS SCREECHlNG) She's going to be home any minute And i don't know what to say to make her feel better i know£¬ i know.
lt's terrible Seriously? You're scraping the crusty bits off the sides now? i'm sorry£¬ but i'm an emotional eater Hang on .
All right£¬ look£¬ the recipe says it serves 1 2 i had one and a half£¬ you dropped one on the floor that means you had nine-and-a-half servings! well £¬ excuse me£¬ Little Miss Solve-Your-Fancy-Math-Problems l-Got-lnto-Stanford- and-Your-Daughter-Didn't (GASPS) You lashed out at me i'm sorry£¬ i didn't mean to.
Here Like i would want that Oh .
Okay Dang my generation's foolish beliefs that food can make the pain go away (TAKlNG DEEP BREATH) Oh £¬ it's okay.
lt's all right.
i mean £¬ we're jumping on each other because£¬ you know£¬ we feel helpless and there's nothing we can do Although £¬ frankly£¬ a little bit more you than me well £¬ excuse me£¬ but i don't think i recall throwing macaroni fractions in your face Oh £¬ do you want to go? -ls this how it's going to be? -That's the way it's gonna be.
Come on All right£¬ i can't hear you with that in your.
.
.
Hi Hey -How you doing £¬ bud? -i'm miserable i'm so hungry£¬ the only thing that got me through the last 20 miles was thinking about shoveling in that big old bowl of mac and cheese and bacon She normally doesn't eat it You ate it all? Yes£¬ but he dropped some on the floor and i threw it in the trash -But it's right on top£¬ so.
.
.
-Uh .
.
i ate that£¬ too This is the worst day ever i lost my Jesse£¬ and now i'm gonna be stuck at Malibu Community College without you and the only reason i'm going to get any mac and cheese and bacon is if Dad regurgitates it like a mama robin Hey£¬ darling £¬ don't worry.
i'm gonna fix this How about i make you a nice omelet? what would you like in it? My Jesse and an acceptance letter to Stanford And maybe some chives and saut¨¦ed mushrooms Coming right up -Miley? -what? Look£¬ you're not gonna go to Malibu Community College alone (SOBBlNG) You're right i'll be with Jackson ! No£¬ no.
You're not gonna be with Jackson You're gonna be with me what? Yeah £¬ i mean £¬ if you can't go to Stanford until next year then i won't go to Stanford until next year But you've been thinking about this for£¬ like£¬ forever Yeah £¬ and didn't you just order the official Stanford coffee mug mouse pad combo pack? Don't you have an omelet to make£¬ mister? (SlGHS) No wonder Oliver's always on tour Boy's not as dumb as i thought he was (SlGHS) Look£¬ you're right£¬ i mean £¬ i have always wanted to go there But l've always wanted to go there with you And £¬ you know£¬ i can do that next year But it's such a sacrifice Yeah £¬ but look what you've done for me i mean £¬ you've taken me into your house -Uh £¬ whose house? -Omelet! Yes£¬ ma'am And you let me be Lola i get to ride around in limos and private jets and live the rock star life.
i mean £¬ i can never repay you for all of that -True.
-That didn't require a response Sorry.
Go on Look£¬ the point is£¬ i just want to do this for you So please let me -You really are the best friend ever.
-i know Aw£¬ if grown men could only hug like teenage girls there'd be no more wars JESSE £º (SlNGlNG) when i ask do you wanna dance myy barefoot Cinaerella Jesse! Don't need no slippers or a party aress The way you're looking right now is what i like the best Singers£¬ actors£¬ just once a kid that wants to be a doctor -Hi .
-Hey Listen £¬ l've been thinking .
Being with you it's a real headache And it's hard £¬ it's complicated i mean £¬ it's a lot of work i'm starting to think the song outside my door was a little bit misleading i'm not finished Being with you might be all those things but the only thing worse is not being with you Did that get to you like it got to me? Yeah £¬ a little Guys with guitars why do the ladies find us so dang irresistible? Are you sure you're ready for all this? i was ready for all this the first time i met you i just didn't know it Now come on £¬ i think i owe you pizza and a movie -i mean £¬ if you're hungry.
-Are you kidding? Right now£¬ i'm torn between kissing you and checking the bottom of your shoe to see if you stepped in a donut Let me just ditch Hannah what about your omelet? Sorry£¬ Dad .
Love you £¬ but i got to go i know£¬ pizza-boyfriend beats omelet-Daddy every time Thank you Yes! (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF wlLLlaM TELL O VERTURE) -She's got her guy -Her best friend, too -Her life seems great - That can't be true wee've still got lots more show to do wvash your hanas to prevent the flu (HORSE NElGHlNG) what? lt rhymes.
And it's a good message for the kids (CONTlNUES SlNGlNG) You'll never guess what happens next lt twists and turns and gets complex lt's fun' it's sad, it's something new -myy legs are sore -myy butt is' too (GROANS lN PAlN) Stop bouncing so much (HUMMlNG) (SlNGlNG) myy barefoot Cinaerella Got my Jesse and a pizza Yeah' life's a breeze Gonna get a aeep aish with extra cheese Oh .
(CHUCKLES) Twelve-hundred miles and you still look like you just drove off the lot How do you do it? MlLEY£º (AS HANNAH) Pretty much getting everything you want£¬ aren't you? Yes£¬ i .
.
-Pretty freaky£¬ isn't it? -Oh £¬ boy Man £¬ i can't believe you're gonna try to solve your problems by letting your friends make all the sacrifices for you i thought your father and l raised you better than that (SCOFFS) i didn't make them do anything .
They did it on their own Oh £¬ yeah i'm sure Lilly really wants to give up her opportunity to go to Stanford Come on .
lt's just for this year we'll go together next year lf she gets in again And there's no guarantee that she will and you darn well know that (SOFTLY) Keep it down .
They'll hear you i'm in your head ! (LOUDLY) i can talk as loud as i want to! (GROANlNG) All right£¬ all right -Jeez£¬ i'm annoying sometimes.
-Tell me about it And what about Jesse? Do you really think he's happy about being despised by millions of people for breaking my heart? A-ha! You said my heart we have the same heart and i know it's not broken what do i have to say to that£¬ huh? i'll tell you what i have to say lf you go on letting your friends do this for you sure they seem okay with it now but deep down inside£¬ they're going to hate you for it Hallucination brought on by over-tiredness£¬ say what? Do not "say what" me.
i invented that Oh £¬ please£¬ that was so me Do you really want to have this argument? No 'Cause i know it was me Now£¬ my friends are not gonna hate me So just poof right back in my head where you belong (SlNGSONGS) They're gonna hate you £¬ they're gonna hate you -Oh £¬ real mature.
-Oh £¬ real mature (BOTH MUTTERlNG) (MlMlCKlNG MlLEY) i cannot believe i'm having this argument with myself (GROANS) Let me ask you something £¬ son You ever thought about medical school? Law school? Any school? (CLlCKS TONGUE) Of course not Sorry i took so long Sometimes it takes a while to shake off Hannah lt's cool .
No worries Oh £¬ i get it£¬ i get it! Your stupid secret always comes first -what? -i said no worries.
You ready to go? Yeah £¬ right.
Lilly£¬ do you want to come with us? Oh £¬ yeah £¬ that'd be great Pizza and a movie£¬ that totally makes up for making me throw away the college of my dreams just 'cause of your miserable£¬ stinking secret! But you said you were okay with it i am .
i just said i wanted to go£¬ didn't l? -Yeah £¬ right.
-Yeah £¬ come on £¬ you must be starving And i can't wait to just go out there and get ripped apart by an angry mob of Hannah fans! Yeah £¬ but who cares about us as long as Little Miss Center-of-the-Universe is happy! -lt's always about you ! -Always! -You ! -You ! -You ! -You ! (ECHOlNG) So who wants to drive? will you stop it? Come on £¬ Lilly£¬ just come out and say what you're really thinking well £¬ i was thinking £¬ who wants to drive? And now i'm thinking maybe i should i'm not talking about who's driving i'm talking about the secret! You both hate it and you hate what it's doing to your lives! Just admit it! Everything would be so much easier for you if i just told the world who i was! Oh £¬ come on £¬ Mile.
Nobody ever said that But they're thinking it£¬ Dad ! Aren't you? -well £¬ i mean .
.
.
-Maybe a little But£¬ hey£¬ look£¬ that doesn't matter i mean £¬ this is your life and we're just trying to make you happy Oh £¬ yeah Be nice and guilt me into telling the secret well £¬ it's not gonna work i just can't do it£¬ okay? (SlGHS) i can't (DOOR CLOSES) (VOCALlZlNG) (SlNGlNG) The secret's messy lt's hurting Lil and Jesse Now she's all, now she's all Poor little Miley's in a sad, sad place All because she has a secret Now she's all, now she's all Poor little Miley's in a sad, sad place All because she has a secret You've had yourself quite a day£¬ ain't you £¬ bud? i seem to be having more and more of those lately Gosh £¬ look at me£¬ Dad Being two people seemed like such a great idea back then Yeah That's because it was a great idea lt gave you the chance to kind of.
.
i know£¬ live a normal life lt doesn't seem to be doing such a bang-up job anymore well £¬ honey£¬ nothing stays the same forever lt's kind of like a mullet A thing of beauty in its day but i tell you what£¬ sooner or later even the party in the back has to end Are you telling me that i need to give up Hannah Montana? No.
i could never do that Neither could Jesse or Lilly The only one that could ever answer that would have to be you Please don't say listen to my heart -Darling £¬ it's just.
.
.
-Or my kidney£¬ or my spleen or any other vital organs Then what do you want me to tell you? i want you to tell me that if i give up Hannah everything will be okay But i can't do that what i can tell you is you'll be able to go to that school with Lilly You'll be able to go out with Jesse without half the world hating him You will have to give up your privacy No matter where you go£¬ peoples are gonna recognize you and they're gonna treat you different ls it worth it? Only you can decide that (DOOR CLOSES) (lLL ALwA YS REMEMBER YOU PLAYlNG) i always knew this aay would come wee'd be stanaing one by one with our future in our hanas So many areams' so many plans i always knew after all these years There'd be laughter, there'd be tears But never thought l'd walk away with so much joy but so much pain And it's so hard to say gooabye But yesterday's gone wee've got to keep moving on l'nn so thankful for the moments So glad i got to know you The times that we had i'll keep like a photograph And hold you in my heart forever i'll always remember you Another chapter in the book Can't go back but you can look And there we are on every page Memories i'll always save Up ahead only open doors who knows what we're heaaing towards i wish you love' i wish you luck for you' the wordjust opens up But it's so hard to say gooabye Yesterday's gone wee've got to keep moving on l'nn so thankful for the moments So glad i got to know you The times that we had i'll keep like a photograph And hold you in my heart forever i'll always remember you Every aay that we had All the good, all the bad i'll keep ,em here insiae All the times that we shared Every place' everywhere You touched my life Yeah' one aay we'll look back wee'll smile and we'll laugh But right now we just cry 'Cause it's so hard to say gooabye Yesterday's gone wee've got to keep moving on l'nn so thankful for the moments So glad i got to know you The times that we had i'll keep like a photograph And hold you in my heart forever i'll always remember you i'll always remember you i'll always remember you (MOUTHlNG) Thank you So£¬ Hannah £¬ you said you had some big news for us Half our staff thinks you're running for governor the other half thinks you're going back on Flitter and Lenny hoping you're back for him No£¬ no.
And £¬ Lenny£¬ get a life i mean £¬ what is it? i don't want to be pushy but l've never had the same person on twice in one week Actually£¬ Jay£¬ that's still kind of true i'm not the same person No.
No£¬ of course you're not (wHlSTLES) i think it would be easier this way where are you going? what are you doing? Hey£¬ Lenny£¬ i'm starting to think you dodged a bullet with this chick (ALL MURMURlNG) i wrote this song about an 1 1 -year-old girl who wanted to be a rock star but she also wanted a normal life so she pretended to be somebody else And that was great for a little while But she's 1 7 now and life is even more complicated And she just doesn't want to pretend anymore Her name is Miley Stewart (AUDlENCE GASPS) whoa.
Take that£¬ kitty cat flushing a toilet! (LAUGHlNG) Anyway it's been a long time since l've sung without my friend here so i hope you like it (SlNGlNG) Oh' yeah Here we are now Everything's about to change wee face tomorrow As we say gooabye to yesterday A chapter enaing But the story's onljust begun A page is turning for everone So l'nn moving on' letting go Holding onto tomorrow l've always got the memories while l'nn finaing out who l'nn gonna be wee might be apart But i hope you always know You'll be with me wherever i go wherever i go So excited i can barel even catch my breath wee have each other to lean on for the road ahead This happy enaing is the start of all our areams And l know your heart is with me So l'nn moving on' letting go Holding onto tomorrow l've always got the memories while l'nn finaing out who l'nn gonna be wee might be apart But l hope you always know You'll be with me wherever i go lt's time to show the word we've got something to say A song to sing out that will never faae away i know i'll miss you but we'll meet again someaay wee'll never faae away So l'nn moving on' letting go Holding onto tomorrow l've always got the memories while l'nn finaing out who l'nn gonna be wee might be apart But i hope you always know You'll be with me So l'nn moving on' letting go Holding onto tomorrow l've always got the memories while l'm finaing out who l'nn gonna be wee might be apart But i hope you always know You'll be with me Yeah' wherever i go wherever l¡ wherever i go (MUSlC STOPS) (AUDlENCE CHEERlNG) whoo! (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF TwlNKLE TwlNKLE LlTTLE STAR) lt used to be that no one knew Except a very, very few -Lilly -Ollie -Jesse -Jake That one was a big mistake i think that's it except for you And all of Crowley Corners' too
S04.
E09 == (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF CAMPTOwln RACES) (IN HIGH-PlTCHED VOlCES) A Hannah Special's here once more Doo dah Doo dah You won't believe what is in store Oh' the doo dah day Secrets and romance i'll even do a dance (RlCO GRUNTlNG) -Rico! -Rico! Sorry we'll be here to help you through Doo dah Doo dah Me, the dork, his girfiend, too Oh the doo dah day Don't call me a dork He's mad 'cause we're in love i was mad, but now i'm glad to give this frienaly shove -Hey£¬ don't shove him ! -Yeah ! Are you just gonna let him shove you like that? Come on .
Come on .
Ow! Jesse£¬ i just don't want to make the same mistake i've made in the past, so i just want to come right out and say it.
i'm Hannah Montana Eh? (MlMlCKlNG JESSE)whoa£¬ dude£¬ stop£¬ you're blowing my mind ! i mean £¬ you're Hannah £¬ you're Miley£¬ you're Hannah .
who am i dating? You're tearing me apart will you stop? will you? why are we even rehearsing this? i mean £¬ you've told the secret enough times i'm surprised the pizza delivery guy doesn't know.
Mmm-hmm "who ordered the meat lovers special?" "i did and i'm Hannah Montana!" Oh £¬ stop sulking .
You've been mad ever since i told Siena about the secret She didn't know who Lola was! Get over it! All right£¬ look at me! i wear Day-Glo wigs i dress like a Japanese cartoon character How can she not know who Lola is? Come on £¬ she's dating Jackson She's one drumstick short of a jumbo bucket Now can we get back to the person with the real problem? (GASPS)Lola's real to me how i'm going to tell him the Hannah secret lt's ruined too many relationships and i'm not gonna let it mess up this one Or you could not tell him £¬ and before you know it we're off to college together£¬ sharing a dorm room where i have to listen to you complain about how bad you feel for not coming clean to Jesse£¬ and there's no place for me to hide because i'm trapped with you in a 12-by-12 foot concrete cell that's filled with tear-soaked tissues dripping in snot! On second thought£¬ yeah £¬ maybe you should tell him well £¬ that was a long trip for nothing How long have you known me? Point taken (DOORBELL RlNGlNG) Now get out of here No£¬ hang on .
lf you're gonna tell him about Hannah i should tell him about Lola Lilly£¬ no one.
.
Cares! i get it.
i get it wow£¬ i really want to tell you you get more beautiful every time i see you But that'd be going against my brooding rocker image so i'm just gonna say£¬ hey That works for me Oh £¬ sweet niblets£¬ can't you at least warn a guy? Good thing i got that Smokey and the Bandit marathon running on cable You sounded a little nervous on the phone.
Everything okay? (SlGHS) i'm fine Uh-oh .
walking me to the couch .
This can't be good No.
i just.
.
i have something really important i need to tell you And you could be mad .
Really mad But i just care about you too much to not tell you that.
.
That you're Hannah Montana? Please don't interrupt me.
This is really.
.
.
Huh? i know you're Hannah Montana How? lt was that blabbermouth Siena£¬ wasn't it? Didn't need any help on this one.
You both have the same beautiful eyes and amazing smile And then there's the fact that i told Miley that my dad was stationed overseas£¬ and then two days later Hannah had a concert for kids whose parents were stationed overseas Hmm i was hoping you'd think that was just a cowinkydink Come on £¬ six years and the rest of the world hasn't put it together well £¬ the rest of the world isn't in love with Miley Stewart You're in love with me? Yeah Um .
.
Unless you're not in love with me£¬ then i take that back because£¬ you know£¬ i'm cool Aw Oh .
Hey£¬ Lola Yes! Yes! Finally! Somebody knows Lola! i always liked him .
All right£¬ bye This is awesome Now you can be back in the band and we can be together all the time Ooh .
Just one simple rule.
Just 'cause you're mushy on Miley doesn't mean you can be huggy on Hannah what? Come on £¬ i can't have the world thinking that Hannah steals a boyfriend £¬ even though she wouldn't be stealing her boyfriend 'cause my boyfriend is her boyfriend which brings me right back to£¬ what? You're dating Miley£¬ not Hannah Got it.
You just tell me which one to kiss This one Okay£¬ the two minute kissing window is now closed -Dad .
-Come on £¬ Mr.
Stewart (GRUNTlNG) Look at this£¬ Jesse.
Your horoscope says you are dangerously close to a slow£¬ painful death Now£¬ come on £¬ get the TV on .
lt's time for the monkey to drive MlLEY£º (SlNGlNG) when you ask do you wanna dance my barefoot Cinaerella Don't need no slippers or a party dress The way you're looking right now is what i like the best And then you'll say do you wanna take a chance And stay with me forever No one'll ever be more beautiful my barefoot, barefoot Cinaerella (AUDlENCE CHEERlNG) (MUSlC STOPS) You rocked Not hard when i'm with you Hey£¬ hey£¬ hey.
i'm Hannah Hannah Montana£¬ ladies and gentlemen And apparently her new boyfriend .
why is it always the guitar player? why not a nice cameraman like my nephew£¬ Lenny? But seriously£¬ i'm happy for you £¬ Hannah .
And what's your name? You don't want to know my name Come on .
You kissed her on national TV what£¬ are you shy all of a sudden? Come on £¬ what's your name? -Jesse.
-Jesse! There you have it Hannah and Jesse£¬ America's new sweethearts Good night£¬ everybody.
Bye£¬ bye.
Thanks for watching Bye (AUDlENCE CHEERlNG) (MlLEY wHOOPlNG) MlLEY£º Here we go' everyboay! (SlNGlNG) Come on! You get the limo out front Hottest styles' every shoe' every color Yeah' when you're famous it can be kind of fun lt's really you but no one ever aiscovers who would have thought that a girl like me A girl like me would aouble as a superstar? (wHOOPlNG) You get the best of both worals Chill it out, take it slow Then you rock out the show You get the best of both worals Mix it all together And you know that it's the best of both worals (LAUGHlNG) (SlNGlNG) Jesse's back in the band But then things got out of hand He gave Hannah a kiss Something the word aian't miss On Leno Hannah Montana was getting frozen yogurt yesterday Did you hear about this? Did you hear about this? when asked why she got both chocolate and vanilla she said she wanted the best of both swirls Did you hear about this? (SlNGlNG) Now Mile and Jesse can't aate ls that a problem? Just wait who cares? myy Leno was great This is the guy that you aate So sad wow£¬ this thing is everywhere Hannah and Jesse' America 's new sweethearts Good night, everyboay Bye' bye.
Thanks for watching Oh £¬ great£¬ i just took over "most viewed" from "Kitty Kat Flushing a Toilet.
" Uh £¬ that just means that you're bigger than "Meow£¬ meow.
" Flush .
"Meow£¬ meow.
" Flush (wHlSPERS) You should be proud what was l thinking £¬ inviting Jesse back in the band? i mean £¬ Hannah's irresistible.
There's no way that he could go against her feminine charms i just want to go home£¬ put the wig on and smack that home wrecker in the face You know£¬ as much as l'd love to see how that works i think you're freaking out for no reason i mean £¬ you can still date Jesse as Miley£¬ just not in public why does my life have to be so complicated? Oh £¬ yeah Poor little most famous Now wili you just focus on the positives£¬ okay? we're both going to college together£¬ we both have wonderful boyfriends -Except for you're more.
.
.
-No No cracks about Oliver until i find something equally embarrassing about Jesse Good luck with that Yeah £¬ i know.
well £¬ it's not that big a deal lt's not like Hannah Montana hasn't complicated your life before Yeah .
And i dealt with it then and i'll deal with it now -Hey£¬ there you are.
-Jesse! whoa£¬ whoa£¬ dude! You're that guy dating Hannah Montana.
Did you know that? Yeah £¬ i saw it on Leno (LAUGHS) Me£¬ too! Up top£¬ bro! Yeah Jesse£¬ what are you doing here? Casual acquaintance and platonic friend -Nice.
-Your dad told me you were at the pier i just had some great news i had to tell you i can't wait£¬ aforementioned casual acquaintance and platonic friend Overkill My dad's coming home from overseas My gosh £¬ Jesse£¬ that's great Miley Dang it Hey£¬ it's okay.
i don't think anybody noticed One at a time£¬ bro Oh' Hannah Montana 's new boyfriend, Jesse' apparently caught cheating toaay AUDlENCE £º Ooh! Yeah' yeah.
Hannah's response' 'Noboay's penect 'but this guy's a super, superjerk.
" Oh £¬ man .
My mom watches Leno well £¬ if it makes you feel any better both Miley and Hannah love their "super£¬ super jerk.
" well £¬ i'm glad you think this is funny but you're not the one who's a talk show punch line You're a cute punch line.
Oh £¬ Jesse£¬ come on Oh £¬ come on £¬ Jesse.
i know it's my fault£¬ but.
.
Okay£¬ this is where you say£¬ "No£¬ it's not your fault£¬ honey "we're in this together.
" Let me try it again .
Jesse£¬ i know it's my fault£¬ but.
.
Your turn .
Doesn't have to be "honey.
" Could be "lamb chop£¬ cupcake.
.
.
" Miley Oh £¬ come on .
You can do better than that You don't get it Everybody in America knows me as the super£¬ super jerk who broke Hannah Montana's heart Everybody? Now come on £¬ you're being a little dramatic i mean £¬ the people that know you and love you don't feel that way (CELL PHONE BUZZlNG) Really? My 5-year-old niece just texted me this "Uncle Jesse£¬ you're a big £¬ fat£¬ stinking .
.
.
ooh !" How does she know that word? (CELL PHONE BUZZlNG) And my grandma's weighing in Probably just to say that she loves you and that everything's gonna be okay Yeow! Now you know where your little niece got the trucker mouth Look£¬ Jesse£¬ you had to know that dating me was sometimes gonna be a pain in the.
.
well £¬ i'm not your grandma£¬ so i'm just gonna say complicated Dating me would be a pain in the complicated But i'm worth it£¬ aren't l? Again this is where you say£¬ "No.
.
.
" what? what do i say? And to which one of you? Because if i'm dating Hannah £¬ now i'm cheating on Miley And if i'm dating Miley£¬ then i'm the jerk who broke Hannah Montana's heart -Either way£¬ i'm just.
.
.
-(CELL PHONE BUZZlNG) And that's my mom Ooh £¬ well £¬ if we ever get married she is not gonna be baby-sitting the triplets i have very specific fortune cookies? would you stop joking about this? Listen £¬ Jesse£¬ sometimes joking about it is the only way that i get through it You just stepped into this.
This has been my life for six years Please£¬ let's just forget about it Come on .
Pizza£¬ a movie£¬ anything .
Let's go Pizza and a movie is not gonna fix this Maybe you're right.
lce cream and bowling .
Let's go! Miley.
i'm sorry£¬ maybe you can deal with this£¬ but.
.
Please don't say it .
.
.
i can't So you're just gonna walk away from us? As long as there's two of you £¬ i don't think there can be an us (SlGHS) You know£¬ Dad £¬ i really thought that Jesse was different i thought he could handle all this Ah £¬ you just got to give the boy some time£¬ Mile lf he really loves you £¬ he'll be back lf he really loves that pretty boy face of his£¬ he won't be Daddy Oh £¬ i'm sorry£¬ honey.
i just hate seeing you this hurt Truth is£¬ whether you're ready to hear it or not£¬ if he comes back£¬ that's great And if he doesn't£¬ there'll be other boys i keep praying there won't be£¬ but there always are i don't know.
Maybe i should just give up guys for good Oh £¬ now you're just teasing me Honey£¬ the truth is life has a funny way of working things out One door closes£¬ another one opens All you've got to be ready to tell yourself is.
.
(SCREAMlNG EXClTEDLY) when your daughter asks if her best friend can live with you think about it for more than a second (CONTlNUES SCREAMlNG) And then say no ls it? Stanford Admissions Offices! BOTH £º Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Thank you Aw£¬ look at that£¬ honey.
You've already forgot about Jesse (CRYlNG) Jesse Aw£¬ i'm sorry.
i just meant.
.
(GRUNTlNG) Zip it! Look£¬ nothing personal £¬ but sometimes you just.
.
Have a tendency to be a big dumb daddy? i would never say that because you let me live here but because you said it.
Oh £¬ yeah ! Now£¬ look£¬ Miley Jesse.
.
.
That guy your dad just mentioned is your past and these letters are your future i guess you're right Of course i'm right! Okay£¬ now we'll open them on three Ready? One£¬ two£¬ three Three! i didn't get in i didn't either Oh £¬ i'm sorry£¬ girls.
i'm sorry you both didn't well £¬ Lilly£¬ yours says you got accepted No£¬ it doesn't i just read that.
.
No£¬ no.
No£¬ it doesn't.
No.
How can you read it? lt's just moving all over the place Let me see that£¬ Lilly i'm sorry.
But i mean £¬ how much more bad news can you take? i mean £¬ you just found out you don't get to go to college with your best friend the day after you get rejected by the best boyfriend you ever had .
And now you've got an eye twitch But my grades are awesome.
i killed it on the SAT This is so not fair! i know.
i mean £¬ i guess that stuff just wasn't important to Jesse And Stanford accepted you? Lilly£¬ stand extremely still and don't let her sense your fear There has got to be some kind of mistake! Lilly and i have just about the same grades and she only did a little bit better on the SAT and that's because my energy drink made me have to tinkle twice and Lilly can hold it like a camel ! i must say£¬ the fact that you just drove 200 miles to plead your case is very impressive That's the kind of character we look for here at Stanford we're going to be very sad not having you here.
Cookie? This isn't fair.
i am being discriminated against because i have a small bladder And we are not a group that you want picketing in your lobby i'm really sorry£¬ Miss Stewart£¬ but the difference between you and your friend isn't academic or fluid related Miss Truscott held part-time jobs£¬ she was a cheerleader she was on the volleyball team £¬ the skateboard club£¬ the surf club And you were a tricycle-riding pirate mascot for half a basketball game And in 1 2th grade£¬ you climbed a rope That sucker went all the way to the ceiling Yes£¬ i think you mentioned that in your essay "To the Ceiling and Back£º a Girl £¬ a Rope and a Dream .
" which was exactly the required 500 words And Lilly's was 502 Just saying £¬ rule follower£¬ rule breaker Miley£¬ you are an excellent student but you don't have any extra-curricular activities And here at Stanford £¬ we're looking for students with a skosh more But come on £¬ you have to let me in .
This is the only college i applied to This is the only school you applied to? You know£¬ on one hand £¬ that could sound incredibly dumb But on the other hand £¬ it could be a display of admirable school spirit Doesn't show up on a test£¬ but£¬ honey£¬ at the pep rally i will skosh you up one side and down the other Go Stanford ! whoo-hoo! (HUMS) whoo-hoo! Hey! Okay.
Please.
i appreciate your enthusiasm but£¬ all right£¬ tell me something you've done in the last four years that's the least bit out of the ordinary Other than that bizarre "Stanford whoo" thing Are you kidding me? The last four years of my life have been anything but ordinary wonderful .
How? i can't tell you Then i can't reconsider your application But if i could tell you £¬ you'd be all "nuh-uh .
" And l'd be like "yuh-huh .
" And you'd be like "No£¬ way.
" l'd be like "Yeah £¬ way.
" wait.
Please.
i never even got a cookie (SlNGlNG) lf you're wonaering what she'll do Now that her plans have fallen through And you know she's got a real strong will And she's got lots more show to fill Now she's going' going back to Malibu -wee kinaa thought we'd be singing' too -wee kinaa thought we'd be singing' too lnstead we're stuck in her chorus line (CHUCKLES) 'Cause your agent's not as good as mine wvait, wait, if Miley leaves we have no riae Hey£¬ Miley£¬ how far away are you? i'm turning into the driveway£¬ and i'll be in £¬ in a second Hey£¬ i know you're disappointed £¬ so i'm making your favorite dinner Mac and cheese and bacon ! That's your favorite£¬ Dad You know£¬ the way she's feeling £¬ that probably wouldn't have made any difference anyway.
This way at least one of us'll be happy i heard that Hey£¬ you're not supposed to be talking while you're driving ! well £¬ i already lost Jesse to Hannah .
And now i can't go to college because i was busy selling out stadiums and meeting the Queen of England instead of holding a spit bucket for the girls' wrestling team ! (EXCLAlMS lN FRUSTRATlON) Look£¬ i know.
i was really thinking about this You know£¬ what if you said you were Hannah Montana's assistant? i mean £¬ that way£¬ you still did all the stuff£¬ but as her assistant You couldn't have thought of that (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF ON THE ROAD A GAln) ln the car again Miley Stewart's back in the car again Driving places she has alreaay been Miley's ariving back to school again Yee-haw! Today our topic is heartbreak and disappointment who out there has lost a boyfriend recently£¬ or a good friend or maybe didn't get into the college they wanted to get into? (EXCLAlMS) Nice try£¬ honey i'm a visual manifestation of your over-stressed subconscious And i'm with you for the next 200 miles So you're a mess.
Let's start from there Hannah Montana's assistant? That sounds fascinating why didn't you include that in your application? Miss Montana likes me to keep it very low profile She's very classy and even prettier in person i must say this could change everything Yes! Ooh £¬ are you gonna finish that sandwich? l've been driving all day -Please.
-Thanks Now we're just gonna need some proof of employment Some what? Some pay stubs£¬ tax records just something i can submit to the board Miss Montana pays in cash ls proving this going to be a problem? Of course not (GROwLS) How'd it go? Stupid proof of employment.
Tax stubs No cookie.
i drove 200 miles just to say.
.
You want proof£¬ Cookie Lady£¬ i'll show you proof Hey£¬ uh £¬ why didn't you just use the emergency Hannah kit you keep in your car? Because i forgot! (MlMlCS CAT SNARLlNG) Yes£¬ Miley£¬ the directions you gave me were perfect as usual Now£¬ if i could just find that incredibly competent and extremely attractive admissions woman that you described (GASPS) Oh £¬ wait£¬ there she is You are the best.
Kiss£¬ kiss.
Bye Hi .
Miley Stewart£¬ best assistant any international pop sensation has ever had .
You must be Mrs.
Jameson Oh £¬ my goodness£¬ it really is you Oh £¬ i thought she was just one of those desperate types that would do or say anything to get in i mean £¬ she did this£¬ "Stanford whoo" thing that was well £¬ borderline creepy i'll pass that along The girl loves constructive criticism plays well with others and is an avid flosser Healthy gums£¬ healthy mind Now£¬ if you could just give me that orientation package i'll take it with me£¬ help save you the postage -Miss Montana.
.
.
-No worries lt's just my way of contributing to higher education But i will need a receipt for tax purposes lt isn't that.
lt's apparently Miley misunderstood i didn't say this would get her in £¬ i said we'd reconsider But even if we do accept her£¬ she goes to the end of the waiting list (STAMMERlNG) The waiting list? Oh £¬ well £¬ look£¬ Miley is a wonderful applicant£¬ it's just that the information came a little late£¬ and the board only makes exceptions in very rare cases well £¬ like£¬ for example£¬ if you were applying Me? well £¬ of course.
Having someone of your accomplishments here would be a wonderful addition to the university So i could get in no problem? well £¬ assuming you had Miley's grades and SAT scores wait£¬ wait£¬ wait£¬ wait i am very tired here£¬ so i need to get this clear This may sound crazy.
Let me get this right lf Miley and i were somehow£¬ i don't know smooshed into the same person £¬ we could get in? (LAUGHS) well £¬ if you put it like that£¬ i guess you would Unfortunately£¬ that's not the case Although £¬ oddly enough £¬ you do have the same eye twitch That's not the only thing we have in common lt just so happens that Miley and i are the same sign of the zodiac Sagittarius£¬ which means we're the fire sign and over-excitable eyelids.
i got to go (DOOR CLOSES) (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF fEELlNGS) Problems She's got nothing but problems She's lost Jesse and Lilly All because of the wig lf she came clean All her problems wouldjust go away Or would theyjust begin? (MlMlCKlNG CATS SCREECHlNG) She's going to be home any minute And i don't know what to say to make her feel better i know£¬ i know.
lt's terrible Seriously? You're scraping the crusty bits off the sides now? i'm sorry£¬ but i'm an emotional eater Hang on .
All right£¬ look£¬ the recipe says it serves 1 2 i had one and a half£¬ you dropped one on the floor that means you had nine-and-a-half servings! well £¬ excuse me£¬ Little Miss Solve-Your-Fancy-Math-Problems l-Got-lnto-Stanford- and-Your-Daughter-Didn't (GASPS) You lashed out at me i'm sorry£¬ i didn't mean to.
Here Like i would want that Oh .
Okay Dang my generation's foolish beliefs that food can make the pain go away (TAKlNG DEEP BREATH) Oh £¬ it's okay.
lt's all right.
i mean £¬ we're jumping on each other because£¬ you know£¬ we feel helpless and there's nothing we can do Although £¬ frankly£¬ a little bit more you than me well £¬ excuse me£¬ but i don't think i recall throwing macaroni fractions in your face Oh £¬ do you want to go? -ls this how it's going to be? -That's the way it's gonna be.
Come on All right£¬ i can't hear you with that in your.
.
.
Hi Hey -How you doing £¬ bud? -i'm miserable i'm so hungry£¬ the only thing that got me through the last 20 miles was thinking about shoveling in that big old bowl of mac and cheese and bacon She normally doesn't eat it You ate it all? Yes£¬ but he dropped some on the floor and i threw it in the trash -But it's right on top£¬ so.
.
.
-Uh .
.
i ate that£¬ too This is the worst day ever i lost my Jesse£¬ and now i'm gonna be stuck at Malibu Community College without you and the only reason i'm going to get any mac and cheese and bacon is if Dad regurgitates it like a mama robin Hey£¬ darling £¬ don't worry.
i'm gonna fix this How about i make you a nice omelet? what would you like in it? My Jesse and an acceptance letter to Stanford And maybe some chives and saut¨¦ed mushrooms Coming right up -Miley? -what? Look£¬ you're not gonna go to Malibu Community College alone (SOBBlNG) You're right i'll be with Jackson ! No£¬ no.
You're not gonna be with Jackson You're gonna be with me what? Yeah £¬ i mean £¬ if you can't go to Stanford until next year then i won't go to Stanford until next year But you've been thinking about this for£¬ like£¬ forever Yeah £¬ and didn't you just order the official Stanford coffee mug mouse pad combo pack? Don't you have an omelet to make£¬ mister? (SlGHS) No wonder Oliver's always on tour Boy's not as dumb as i thought he was (SlGHS) Look£¬ you're right£¬ i mean £¬ i have always wanted to go there But l've always wanted to go there with you And £¬ you know£¬ i can do that next year But it's such a sacrifice Yeah £¬ but look what you've done for me i mean £¬ you've taken me into your house -Uh £¬ whose house? -Omelet! Yes£¬ ma'am And you let me be Lola i get to ride around in limos and private jets and live the rock star life.
i mean £¬ i can never repay you for all of that -True.
-That didn't require a response Sorry.
Go on Look£¬ the point is£¬ i just want to do this for you So please let me -You really are the best friend ever.
-i know Aw£¬ if grown men could only hug like teenage girls there'd be no more wars JESSE £º (SlNGlNG) when i ask do you wanna dance myy barefoot Cinaerella Jesse! Don't need no slippers or a party aress The way you're looking right now is what i like the best Singers£¬ actors£¬ just once a kid that wants to be a doctor -Hi .
-Hey Listen £¬ l've been thinking .
Being with you it's a real headache And it's hard £¬ it's complicated i mean £¬ it's a lot of work i'm starting to think the song outside my door was a little bit misleading i'm not finished Being with you might be all those things but the only thing worse is not being with you Did that get to you like it got to me? Yeah £¬ a little Guys with guitars why do the ladies find us so dang irresistible? Are you sure you're ready for all this? i was ready for all this the first time i met you i just didn't know it Now come on £¬ i think i owe you pizza and a movie -i mean £¬ if you're hungry.
-Are you kidding? Right now£¬ i'm torn between kissing you and checking the bottom of your shoe to see if you stepped in a donut Let me just ditch Hannah what about your omelet? Sorry£¬ Dad .
Love you £¬ but i got to go i know£¬ pizza-boyfriend beats omelet-Daddy every time Thank you Yes! (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF wlLLlaM TELL O VERTURE) -She's got her guy -Her best friend, too -Her life seems great - That can't be true wee've still got lots more show to do wvash your hanas to prevent the flu (HORSE NElGHlNG) what? lt rhymes.
And it's a good message for the kids (CONTlNUES SlNGlNG) You'll never guess what happens next lt twists and turns and gets complex lt's fun' it's sad, it's something new -myy legs are sore -myy butt is' too (GROANS lN PAlN) Stop bouncing so much (HUMMlNG) (SlNGlNG) myy barefoot Cinaerella Got my Jesse and a pizza Yeah' life's a breeze Gonna get a aeep aish with extra cheese Oh .
(CHUCKLES) Twelve-hundred miles and you still look like you just drove off the lot How do you do it? MlLEY£º (AS HANNAH) Pretty much getting everything you want£¬ aren't you? Yes£¬ i .
.
-Pretty freaky£¬ isn't it? -Oh £¬ boy Man £¬ i can't believe you're gonna try to solve your problems by letting your friends make all the sacrifices for you i thought your father and l raised you better than that (SCOFFS) i didn't make them do anything .
They did it on their own Oh £¬ yeah i'm sure Lilly really wants to give up her opportunity to go to Stanford Come on .
lt's just for this year we'll go together next year lf she gets in again And there's no guarantee that she will and you darn well know that (SOFTLY) Keep it down .
They'll hear you i'm in your head ! (LOUDLY) i can talk as loud as i want to! (GROANlNG) All right£¬ all right -Jeez£¬ i'm annoying sometimes.
-Tell me about it And what about Jesse? Do you really think he's happy about being despised by millions of people for breaking my heart? A-ha! You said my heart we have the same heart and i know it's not broken what do i have to say to that£¬ huh? i'll tell you what i have to say lf you go on letting your friends do this for you sure they seem okay with it now but deep down inside£¬ they're going to hate you for it Hallucination brought on by over-tiredness£¬ say what? Do not "say what" me.
i invented that Oh £¬ please£¬ that was so me Do you really want to have this argument? No 'Cause i know it was me Now£¬ my friends are not gonna hate me So just poof right back in my head where you belong (SlNGSONGS) They're gonna hate you £¬ they're gonna hate you -Oh £¬ real mature.
-Oh £¬ real mature (BOTH MUTTERlNG) (MlMlCKlNG MlLEY) i cannot believe i'm having this argument with myself (GROANS) Let me ask you something £¬ son You ever thought about medical school? Law school? Any school? (CLlCKS TONGUE) Of course not Sorry i took so long Sometimes it takes a while to shake off Hannah lt's cool .
No worries Oh £¬ i get it£¬ i get it! Your stupid secret always comes first -what? -i said no worries.
You ready to go? Yeah £¬ right.
Lilly£¬ do you want to come with us? Oh £¬ yeah £¬ that'd be great Pizza and a movie£¬ that totally makes up for making me throw away the college of my dreams just 'cause of your miserable£¬ stinking secret! But you said you were okay with it i am .
i just said i wanted to go£¬ didn't l? -Yeah £¬ right.
-Yeah £¬ come on £¬ you must be starving And i can't wait to just go out there and get ripped apart by an angry mob of Hannah fans! Yeah £¬ but who cares about us as long as Little Miss Center-of-the-Universe is happy! -lt's always about you ! -Always! -You ! -You ! -You ! -You ! (ECHOlNG) So who wants to drive? will you stop it? Come on £¬ Lilly£¬ just come out and say what you're really thinking well £¬ i was thinking £¬ who wants to drive? And now i'm thinking maybe i should i'm not talking about who's driving i'm talking about the secret! You both hate it and you hate what it's doing to your lives! Just admit it! Everything would be so much easier for you if i just told the world who i was! Oh £¬ come on £¬ Mile.
Nobody ever said that But they're thinking it£¬ Dad ! Aren't you? -well £¬ i mean .
.
.
-Maybe a little But£¬ hey£¬ look£¬ that doesn't matter i mean £¬ this is your life and we're just trying to make you happy Oh £¬ yeah Be nice and guilt me into telling the secret well £¬ it's not gonna work i just can't do it£¬ okay? (SlGHS) i can't (DOOR CLOSES) (VOCALlZlNG) (SlNGlNG) The secret's messy lt's hurting Lil and Jesse Now she's all, now she's all Poor little Miley's in a sad, sad place All because she has a secret Now she's all, now she's all Poor little Miley's in a sad, sad place All because she has a secret You've had yourself quite a day£¬ ain't you £¬ bud? i seem to be having more and more of those lately Gosh £¬ look at me£¬ Dad Being two people seemed like such a great idea back then Yeah That's because it was a great idea lt gave you the chance to kind of.
.
i know£¬ live a normal life lt doesn't seem to be doing such a bang-up job anymore well £¬ honey£¬ nothing stays the same forever lt's kind of like a mullet A thing of beauty in its day but i tell you what£¬ sooner or later even the party in the back has to end Are you telling me that i need to give up Hannah Montana? No.
i could never do that Neither could Jesse or Lilly The only one that could ever answer that would have to be you Please don't say listen to my heart -Darling £¬ it's just.
.
.
-Or my kidney£¬ or my spleen or any other vital organs Then what do you want me to tell you? i want you to tell me that if i give up Hannah everything will be okay But i can't do that what i can tell you is you'll be able to go to that school with Lilly You'll be able to go out with Jesse without half the world hating him You will have to give up your privacy No matter where you go£¬ peoples are gonna recognize you and they're gonna treat you different ls it worth it? Only you can decide that (DOOR CLOSES) (lLL ALwA YS REMEMBER YOU PLAYlNG) i always knew this aay would come wee'd be stanaing one by one with our future in our hanas So many areams' so many plans i always knew after all these years There'd be laughter, there'd be tears But never thought l'd walk away with so much joy but so much pain And it's so hard to say gooabye But yesterday's gone wee've got to keep moving on l'nn so thankful for the moments So glad i got to know you The times that we had i'll keep like a photograph And hold you in my heart forever i'll always remember you Another chapter in the book Can't go back but you can look And there we are on every page Memories i'll always save Up ahead only open doors who knows what we're heaaing towards i wish you love' i wish you luck for you' the wordjust opens up But it's so hard to say gooabye Yesterday's gone wee've got to keep moving on l'nn so thankful for the moments So glad i got to know you The times that we had i'll keep like a photograph And hold you in my heart forever i'll always remember you Every aay that we had All the good, all the bad i'll keep ,em here insiae All the times that we shared Every place' everywhere You touched my life Yeah' one aay we'll look back wee'll smile and we'll laugh But right now we just cry 'Cause it's so hard to say gooabye Yesterday's gone wee've got to keep moving on l'nn so thankful for the moments So glad i got to know you The times that we had i'll keep like a photograph And hold you in my heart forever i'll always remember you i'll always remember you i'll always remember you (MOUTHlNG) Thank you So£¬ Hannah £¬ you said you had some big news for us Half our staff thinks you're running for governor the other half thinks you're going back on Flitter and Lenny hoping you're back for him No£¬ no.
And £¬ Lenny£¬ get a life i mean £¬ what is it? i don't want to be pushy but l've never had the same person on twice in one week Actually£¬ Jay£¬ that's still kind of true i'm not the same person No.
No£¬ of course you're not (wHlSTLES) i think it would be easier this way where are you going? what are you doing? Hey£¬ Lenny£¬ i'm starting to think you dodged a bullet with this chick (ALL MURMURlNG) i wrote this song about an 1 1 -year-old girl who wanted to be a rock star but she also wanted a normal life so she pretended to be somebody else And that was great for a little while But she's 1 7 now and life is even more complicated And she just doesn't want to pretend anymore Her name is Miley Stewart (AUDlENCE GASPS) whoa.
Take that£¬ kitty cat flushing a toilet! (LAUGHlNG) Anyway it's been a long time since l've sung without my friend here so i hope you like it (SlNGlNG) Oh' yeah Here we are now Everything's about to change wee face tomorrow As we say gooabye to yesterday A chapter enaing But the story's onljust begun A page is turning for everone So l'nn moving on' letting go Holding onto tomorrow l've always got the memories while l'nn finaing out who l'nn gonna be wee might be apart But i hope you always know You'll be with me wherever i go wherever i go So excited i can barel even catch my breath wee have each other to lean on for the road ahead This happy enaing is the start of all our areams And l know your heart is with me So l'nn moving on' letting go Holding onto tomorrow l've always got the memories while l'nn finaing out who l'nn gonna be wee might be apart But l hope you always know You'll be with me wherever i go lt's time to show the word we've got something to say A song to sing out that will never faae away i know i'll miss you but we'll meet again someaay wee'll never faae away So l'nn moving on' letting go Holding onto tomorrow l've always got the memories while l'nn finaing out who l'nn gonna be wee might be apart But i hope you always know You'll be with me So l'nn moving on' letting go Holding onto tomorrow l've always got the memories while l'm finaing out who l'nn gonna be wee might be apart But i hope you always know You'll be with me Yeah' wherever i go wherever l¡ wherever i go (MUSlC STOPS) (AUDlENCE CHEERlNG) whoo! (SlNGlNG TO THE TUNE OF TwlNKLE TwlNKLE LlTTLE STAR) lt used to be that no one knew Except a very, very few -Lilly -Ollie -Jesse -Jake That one was a big mistake i think that's it except for you And all of Crowley Corners' too