Jane the Virgin (2014) s04e09 Episode Script
Chapter Seventy-Three
1 LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, friends, you'll recall our Jane became a published author, and so, she tried to get an agent.
JANE: You know Jeffrey Mullins? I would love to meet him.
But that didn't work out.
- And even worse - Oh, my God! Her book didn't exactly create fireworks.
"There is a sense here of promise unfulfilled" But her kiss with Rafael Well, that did.
Not as romantic: Alba turned down Jorge's proposal.
No.
Oh, and Jane's mom and dad got married.
Only, he had a baby with Darci, who was in love with his archrival, Esteban.
I know! Straight out of a telenovela, right? Well, imagine this Petra's sister Anezka schemed against Rafael's sister Luisa.
And Petra found out, and well How long did you leave my sister in an institution knowing she wasn't hallucinating?! A week.
NARRATOR: Oh, and then Anezka went splat, leaving Petra as a person of interest in her death.
So she had to get a lawyer, who was also named Jane.
Only problem Okay.
I'm her lawyer.
What's next? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yikes, right? So let's dive in.
When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was 23 and a half years old, she had a magical kiss with Rafael.
It was the kind of kiss you could only have when you're young, uninhibited, and free of the pressures of MATEO: You guys are kissing! Does that mean you're getting married? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: having a child.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
- We're not getting married.
- That was, - that was, that was just - Uh Um, Mateo (STAMMERS) Mommy and Daddy are just exploring our feelings for one another in a romantic way.
Exactly, and we don't know where it will go because it's brand-new.
And if it works, great.
And if it doesn't, that's okay, because nothing will change for you.
- Nothing.
- Does that make sense? I've never been so happy in my life! JANE: Oh! (PHONE CHIMES) (SIGHS) (SIGHS) (GIGGLES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us to I told them that you and Daddy were exploring each other with kisses.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So much for the down-low.
- Oh, boy.
- XIOMARA: So what changed? - I don't know how I feel about this.
- Last I heard, you weren't - ROGELIO: We were talking yesterday.
- Everyone stop.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Geez, talk about pressure.
- It was just one kiss.
- Technically, two.
And like we told Mateo, we're figuring it out.
A-And we're gonna just need some time to do that.
So, is there some other reason everybody's here? Beyond potentially confusing a five-year-old boy? Well, I have big news.
I have decided to take one year off from work to become a stay-at-home dad to Baby.
Wow, Ro.
I really admire that.
I do, too.
(RINGTONE PLAYS) Oh.
Hang on, that's my publisher.
I'll be right back.
Oh.
We'll be fine.
I agreed to do a slightly embarrassing overseas commercial.
It is related to digestive issues.
It's not important.
(SPEAKING JAPANESE) (GONG RINGS) ROGELIO: The point is, it will cover the bills.
And now, I can support Xo while she builds up her dance studio and focus on my beautiful baby, Baby.
In fact, I made a vision board.
I intend to raise a strong, self-reliant, intelligent daughter.
Just like Jane.
I was just dropped by my publisher.
What? Yeah, they won't option my second book because not enough people are buying my first.
I'm sorry, hon.
XIOMARA: Yeah, you know how many books J.
K.
Rowling wrote before Harry Potter? None.
It was her first try.
And she did it in a coffee shop while holding a baby on her lap.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow! Talk about your fantastic beasts.
ROGELIO: Who cares? You're still published.
You'll build on that.
Really? Very few women of color get published.
And when we do, we cannot afford to screw it up, because we don't get a second chance - like our peers.
- NARRATOR: Preach.
I'm actually in worse shape than before I sold my book.
I don't have the whiff of promise of a first-time author.
Instead, I have the stench of failure.
Come on, hon.
I think you're being a little dramatic.
No! (CHUCKLES) They actually used the word âstenchâ! RAFAEL: Okay, so it's gonna be hard.
It's always been hard.
And you have fought for this every step of the way.
So you just keep fighting.
And, yeah, you've been a little stuck lately.
But the only way to get past that is to keep writing.
So get on that.
(MATEO GIGGLES) Okay.
Mommy has a few hours.
You know what I'm gonna do? Start brainstorming.
Because, Mateo, when you get knocked down, you get back up again.
(EXHALES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or at least you try to.
Just dive in.
Something romantic.
Someplace romantic.
Hmm.
BOMBASTIC MUSIC (BIRDS CHIRPING) Hello.
I'm Nicolas, your new groom.
I thought perhaps you can give me riding lessons.
I saw you take two fences out there.
So you are saying no? -I'm saying - Hmm? That we need to manage Mateo's expectations.
DRAMATIC END ROGELIO: My perfect, amazing daughter.
Why is it you grow more beautiful every time I see you? We have very exciting news, Rogelio.
Esteban is shooting a mediocre but long-term series in Moldova? Moosh.
Be the bigger man.
Since you are.
The news is we have finally found the perfect nanny.
Felicia Romero.
She's A-list.
Highly, highly recommended and has tons of CBE.
While that is impressive, I have a better idea.
- What are you doing? - I am now a stay-at-home dad.
So, I'll be happy to be Baby's nanny on Darci's days.
No way, Rogelio.
You'll do it for a few days and then get bored and flake out.
And by then, we'll have lost Felicia.
And we will never find another Felicia.
I won't flake.
I'm 100% committed.
I'll be the nanny.
The dad-nanny.
(GASPS) The Danny! Please? Let me do this for Baby.
Fine.
Bye, Felicia.
MATEO: Don't go.
(SIGHS) I want us all to still live together.
Oh, I know, buddy.
But me staying here was always temporary.
And Mommy can come to my new apartment all the time.
- Really? - Of course.
(PHONE CHIMES) Rafael is still mad at me.
Whoa.
Personal space.
(CHUCKLES) Can you help me? I've apologized over and over.
You left his sister in an institution when you knew she wasn't hallucinating.
And I feel bad about that.
He says he's not coming to brunch on Saturday.
And you know brunches are sacred family time.
Actually, I think we should skip brunch for a bit.
What? You just push people too far, Petra.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'll say.
(SHOUTS) JANE: And at a certain point, they can't come back anymore.
Hello! I'm home! MATEO: Daddy's in the shower and I'm in your room! Oh.
What's going on? I'm helping you pack so you can come live with Daddy.
- What? - Don't you want to live there? I live here.
But Daddy wants you to.
- Mateo - He does! He told me! Why are you the only one who doesn't want us to be a family?! Of course I didn't say that.
I said you can come over as much as you want.
Well, somehow, I'm the one getting in the way of his happily ever after.
We'll straighten him out.
Don't worry.
(SIGHS) What? Just that if I'm honest, Mateo kind of got it right.
Not about what I said.
About how I feel.
I do want us together.
Happily ever after.
And I'm not pushing.
I just want you to know that I'm all in.
And I know, okay, the timing is bad.
You just got out of a relationship, y-your career isn't where you want it to be My career is nowhere.
I don't have an agent, a publisher, an idea.
And you'll get all of those.
I know you will.
Maybe.
Definitely.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, briefly, oh-so-briefly, it was just them, there, in that moment, without all the outside pressure.
But it's not just that.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Alas, it never is.
Honestly, I'm having whiplash.
I mean, six weeks ago, you were sleeping with Katherine to get your hotel back.
And that was a-a low point.
I know.
But, still it was pretty dark.
But I'm in a different place now.
I promise.
And I-I am not going back there.
Just trust me, Jane.
PETRA: Jane, Jane, Jane.
Everything in my life is now about Jane.
Personally, because our children share a father, and now professionally.
Since you're my lawyer.
Anyway, that's why it would just be easier if I called you J.
R.
No.
Oh, come on.
If you call me J.
R.
, I'll call you Peter.
That's a little punitive.
Here's why we're meeting.
The police went over all of your e-mails, and you said some pretty nasty stuff about your sister.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Some highlights Sorry.
I'll translate that one.
Yeah.
That's pretty damning.
Now they're saying they want to create a computer model of the scene, so they're requesting a blueprint of the guest room.
No way.
Not without a warrant.
I've watched Law & Order.
They're liable to find any small thing to try to build a case against me.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) Well, first of all, never trust television writers.
My ex-girlfriend was one, and they just build things up for the sake of drama.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which reminds me, who is Jane Ramos working for? (LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) And I really think cooperating with the police will convince them that you have nothing to hide.
KRISHNA: Sorry to interrupt, but Rafael is here and I thought you'd want to see him since you're in the doghouse.
Krishna, that's not an appropriate thing to announce when I'm in a meeting.
I know.
Excuse me for a second.
Well, this is a surprise.
The girls are upstairs.
I'm on my way, but I wanted to ask you for a favor first.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) Is everything all right? (LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Geez, I got to be careful not to overuse that.
Not really.
My mother has early onset Alzheimer's, and I just found out the top specialist here in Miami won't take any new patients.
So Will you turn over the blueprints to the police? I'll think about it.
XIOMARA: What's wrong? (SIGHS) What? Oh, my God.
How did it go? XIOMARA: He can't do that.
Who the hell does he think he is? NARRATOR: Uh, apparently every man in a position of power in the whole entire world, except me.
You tell Jorge that's no way to treat you, and if he does it again, you report him.
ROGELIO: Well, this man couldn't agree more.
More iced coffee, ladies? I ground the beans myself, and infused them with cinnamon.
Thank God for Pinterest.
No, thanks, hon.
I got to go to work.
Okay.
Well, have you figured out what you want on your vision board? Well, I need four more students a month for the studio to break even.
Not sexy enough for a vision board.
Regardless, that's the goal, so I'm gonna have an open house, offer a few free classes.
I love it.
Yes.
An open house now, eventually a franchise.
And I'm here to help in my capacity as homemaker and support system.
Okay.
Well, great.
Thanks.
Have a great day at work.
I'll have dinner waiting.
Yay.
(CAMERA CLICKS) Everything you do is so cute.
You were born to be on-screen.
(CAMERA CLICKS) (RINGTONE PLAYING) Uh-huh? DARCI: What the hell is going on over there? You've been posting pictures for five hours straight.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which was true, for the record.
Well, we're just having fun.
Rogelio, you are supposed to be taking care of your child, not using her to raise your social media profile.
Do you know who does that? Heidi and Spencer.
(GASPS) DARCI: A-listers maintain their children's privacy.
There's a reason you never see George and Amal doing the pap stroll with their twins.
So no more baby on social media, period.
You had me at Heidi and Spencer.
DARCI: Thank you.
Now talk to me.
Did she take her morning poop? Uh, no.
Shoot.
She holds when she's nervous.
She's definitely nervous.
Stop taking pictures and try and get your daughter to poop.
(TOILET FLUSHING) (LAUGHS): What're you so happy about? Oh, just that I got you a meeting with Petra's book agent friend.
- Jeffrey Mullins? - Yes.
Yes, but I have to share the credit with Petra.
She was actually pretty great; she wouldn't let him hang up until he moved a lunch and agreed to meet you on Friday.
As in in two days? Yeah.
What's wrong? He'll ask me the question.
- What question? - NARRATOR: The question.
What am I writing next? (LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Sorry.
Trying to stop.
And I have no idea what I'm writing next.
I'm sorry.
I mean, I can ask Petra to-to push it.
Not after he moved his schedule around.
Look, I know you're just trying to help, but you can't fix my writing career.
I know.
I was just (FLOOR CREAKS) Anyway, it's fine.
Uh, but I should figure out what I'm pitching to Jeffrey Mullins.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Last time.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: There is nothing worse than writer's block.
Yeah, that's not a good opener.
Come on, Jane.
Romance, passion, longing.
Okay, a prison.
We can work with prison.
I'm innocent! I'm not supposed to be here.
Please.
I didn't do anything wrong.
I'm innocent! I believe you, Estela.
- Really? - Yes.
And I am gonna get you out of here.
Oh.
- And once I do - Yes.
You'll come over to my new apartment, so we can convince Mateo that you're not the villain destroying our family.
Ugh.
Yeah, just blocked.
Where are you going? Nice.
Show him who's boss.
NARRATOR: Well, technically, he is.
But, yeah.
Go get him, Alba.
Damn, Jorge.
That's the fastest rebound I've ever seen.
(SIGHS) RAFAEL: Okay, set expectations low.
My new apartment.
This is it? Well, I said to set expectations low.
I didn't know what that meant.
Oh, wow.
Original art deco windows.
Whoo.
And you have a fire escape? Exactly.
And it's cozy, and who doesn't love cozy, right? Now, Mommy, out.
No.
- Hey, no fair.
- Yes, fair.
It's boy time and I want it to be just us.
Okay? Go.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow.
A little harsh.
Thanks for kicking me out.
No problem.
And I'll talk to him.
Make sure he knows you're not the bad guy.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, I see.
- Even though I am.
- Hey.
I'm the one who keeps screwing up.
No.
Stop.
Uh, any ideas for your agent meeting tomorrow? No ideas, per se, but I did do some research.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes.
Jane's other passion.
And I looked up the hottest books right now, pulled trends and themes from the most successful romance novels, and came up with three general areas.
I'll pitch them, see how the agents respond, and go from there.
Well, kick ass.
JANE: It's a sweeping romance.
An idea I've been toying with for a while.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Translation, since last night.
Think about Outlander, but instead of time travel, we do it with reincarnation.
Yeah, unfortunately, we already have something similar.
Okay.
How about a take on The Notebook? Ah.
But with vampires.
The market's oversaturated with vampire romances.
You got anything else? Yeah, sure.
My favorite, actually.
How about Fifty Shades of Grey with a role reversal where the heroine's the boss? Petra.
Leslie, this is Petra.
The momtrepreneur.
I think I read about you in Ocean Drive.
Yes.
They did that feature when I renovated the hotel.
Uh, anyway, just wanted to make sure - you all got settled.
- We did.
No, stay, stay, stay.
No, I couldn't.
Yeah, stay.
Definitely.
Okay.
Now, Petra has had such an amazing life.
Oh, no.
Please, Jeffrey.
This meeting's not about me.
Oh, come on.
Your story is incredible.
I mean, talk about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.
She used to play violin on the streets of Prague for pocket change.
LESLIE: I remember thinking just based on the Ocean Drive article, that Petra could author a great lifestyle book.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Did she just say âauthorâ? As in âbook authorâ? LESLIE: I mean, she does look like the non-evil Ivanka.
(LAUGHS) Oh, please, I can't stand Ivanka.
She tried to sell me a few of those bum condos a few years back.
(LAUGHS) See? Now, that's the kind of thing that would be great in the book.
(LAUGHS): Yeah.
Hmm.
So anyway You know, a lifestyle book - could turn you into a brand.
- That's so funny you say that, 'cause I've always toyed with branding myself.
(LAUGHS) - Well, what about Jane? - Yeah.
Oh, right.
Your Fifty Shades idea sounds like fun.
Send me the first chapter as soon as you have it.
And you get me a short proposal.
I will sell it by the end of the week.
What do you say? You want to write a book? (MOUTHS) Jane thinks you should, right? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And what else could Jane say but Of course.
You should totally write a book.
Well okay! (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS): All right.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.
So I'd say Jane is Fifty Shades of Green.
Jane, if you don't want me to take this book deal, I won't.
Hey, if you are genuinely interested in writing a book, then, by all means, go for it.
All right, fine.
I'm turning it down.
(STAMMERS) No, not on my account.
You're clearly upset about it, and the whole point of getting the agents here to meet with you was so that you and I could move past things.
Life isn't transactional, Petra.
If you turn down the book deal, it's not like I'm gonna suddenly forget all the horrible things you've done.
Fine.
If they aren't related, then I'm writing it.
Great! Good luck on your Czechoslovakian bootstrap beach lifestyle book! PETRA: Can you believe she said that, Krishna? That everything I do is transactional? I mean, I've done plenty of things out of the goodness of my heart for you, haven't I? - Like what? - Well, I can't remember right now.
You're putting me on the spot.
Anyway, I want to do something now.
- For me? - No.
For J.
R.
's mother.
I want to get her in to see that Alzheimer's specialist.
I have a lot of connections at the hospital.
So, move mountains, Krishna.
I want an appointment by end of day.
- Okay.
- And after that, I'm gonna need you to get me some writing supplies.
Green tea, candles, Montblanc pens, background music.
ROGELIO: Let's go.
One, two, make a poop Three, four, out the back door Come on, come on, you can do it.
Is it me, Baby? You know I love you very much, but are you not comfortable with our arrangement yet? It's all right.
I'm not 100% comfortable yet, either.
In fact I am feeling a little I don't know.
Lonely? But we'll get used to it, and then (BABY COOS, POO SPLATS) (INHALES DEEPLY) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, standing there, covered in poop, Rogelio had never been more relieved, and neither had his daughter.
Okay.
Say, âNo more constipation.
â (CAMERA CLICKS) God, I want to post this so bad! NARRATOR: And in that moment, Rogelio thought: âIf you take a selfie, and no one sees it, do you even exist?â (CAMERA CLICKS) Okay.
We have two whole hours before your nap! We can play peekaboo, or you can lie on your stomach.
Or, well, those are pretty much the options.
(LAUGHS) (PHONE CHIMES) ALBA: Xiomara? I don't know what to put on my vision board.
No, I just mean that when I try to think about what I want, what I see for my business, I I'm not even dancing anymore, Ma.
Just administrating and solving problems and hounding people for payments and dealing with insurance and - I hate it! - Xiomara I know what you're gonna say.
âStick with it,â because I never stick with anything.
It's kind of late to start thinking about a new career.
Uh Well, fine.
- It's true for you, too.
- Hmm.
Who cares that Jorge was out on some rebound? Sofia? As in? RAFAEL: Is everything okay? Yes, I just wanted to talk to you because, well, Mateo had a really tough time in school this week.
- Really? - Yeah.
He's been pretty distracted and irritable.
And when I said I was gonna talk to his parents, he started to cry, and begged me not to before some âbig decision about whether you are gonna be a family.
â A lot's up in the air right now at home.
Well, I don't want to pry, but whatever it is, you should let him know what's going on, 'cause he's really anxious.
(SIGHS) Everything okay? Mateo's teachers talked to Raf at drop-off.
He needs to know what's going on.
We need to make a decision.
So, we're sleeping on it.
Uh, so what's-what's going on here? Sofia, as in his girlfriend before you? (CRYING) (SIGHS): Oh.
Do you regret that? What reason, Ma? And yes, I know it was because you didn't love him the way you loved Dad, but you knew that.
You were gonna say âyesâ anyway.
Why didn't you? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Blocked, as it were.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.
There's a lot of that going around.
Love blocked.
Writers blocked.
Wow.
I've never seen Jane this frustrated.
Ah, that makes more sense.
Okay.
Let's see what she's written so far.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) J.
R.
What are you doing here? Jane.
And I just wanted to say thank you for getting that appointment for my mother.
It meant a lot.
Well, you know, sometimes you just want to do nice things for people without expecting anything in return.
Are you day drinking? And holding a séance? No.
I'm writing my book.
Well, I just got the commission.
It's a lifestyle book.
The police are investigating you for murder.
You really think it's a good idea to put out - a lifestyle book? - You're gonna make that whole murder thing go away because I didn't do it.
You do know that, right? Because you have to trust me if you want to be my lawyer.
Did you see that on TV, too? No.
Maybe.
So what are you gonna write about your sister? In your book? If I'm going to talk about my sister, I'm going to need some more wine.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Petra, no! Stop! Don't let her in.
(PHONE CHIMES) (SIGHS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: All right.
Tight, douchey shirts.
Fifty Shades.
Let's go! JANE: Rafael, please take a seat.
You're late to our meeting.
Take off your shirt.
Put that on.
(SIGHS) You've been a bad administrative assistant.
Lean over the desk.
Yes.
But.
You.
Know.
Who's.
Been.
A.
Good.
Boy? - Mateo.
- No, stop talking about Mateo.
It isn't sexy or romantic.
This is supposed to be sexy and romantic.
You know what I think is sexy and romantic? The fact that I've been in every single one of your fantasies.
Clearly you can't get me out of your head.
- But what does that mean? - Well, it means I'm your romantic hero.
I may be a flawed hero, but I'm yours.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And in that moment, Jane knew exactly what she had to do.
I think we should give it a chance.
Us a chance.
I've been fighting and fighting it, but it's in my heart and in my head, clearly.
And What? Um I was gonna say that you were right.
Maybe I'm not in the right headspace for a relationship.
I guess I was just looking around.
At my place, at my life right now.
I'm scared.
Scared that this is gonna last, that I'm gonna be stuck in this tiny apartment where the hallway has a weird hotdog smell.
And part of me just didn't want to admit that to you because I don't want you to think I'm too dark.
No hallway should smell like that.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) You have to be able to tell me the truth.
I know.
But I also know what you're gonna say.
Hmm? Money doesn't matter.
Okay.
Seriously? You think I don't have big dreams for my life? You think I don't want to write a best seller and make loads of cash and buy a giant house? And one for my grandma.
Oh.
And a boat.
- A boat? - Hell yeah.
In fact, I'm writing some silly S and M book - right now to get there.
- S and M? - Mm-hmm.
- Wow.
You are full of surprises.
What's the inspiration? Trying to guess what will sell.
Ooh.
Yeah, that won't work.
You can't write if you're not inspired.
I might be able to.
Mm-mm.
Never.
- I know you.
- Yeah.
You do.
You'll get an idea.
Don't rush it.
You have time.
I wish we had time.
But we don't.
Mateo needs an answer.
So are we in a place right now to really be in a relationship? Like, fully in? RAMOS: No.
Oh, what's the big deal? The big deal is it's not my name.
And what is it with this Jane? Are you in love with her or something? (LAUGHS): What? No.
Then why are you obsessed with her? I'm not.
Okay, fine.
Maybe now, but that's just because well, because (CHUCKLES) because she's mad at me.
Are you okay? (VOICE BREAKING): I'm fine.
Sorry.
'Cause this is a lot more emotion than you showed about your sister, who's dead.
My sister was awful.
Jane's a good person.
So if she's done with me I must be awful.
You're not awful.
(SNIFFLES) I hardly know you, and you got my mom in to see a doctor.
Well, 'cause Jane said I see relationships as transactional.
I was trying to prove her wrong.
Yeah, that makes more sense.
Look, um everybody has ulterior motives.
That's not a bad thing.
I mean, you really think I came over with a bottle of wine just to say thank you? You didn't? Yeah, that was part of it.
But I also want the blueprints.
Because I need you to trust me, too.
You're relentless.
(CHUCKLES) Without a doubt.
Look, whatever your beef is with this other Jane (SCOFFS) just don't take no for an answer.
JANE: Petra? W-What are you doing here? You can't cancel brunch.
Have a seat, girls.
Um, what's going on? It's brunch.
And I need to make things right between us, so I'm here to cook everyone a traditional Czech breakfast.
Alba, any food intolerances? NARRATOR: No intolerances for the food.
Just the company.
No.
- Petra, I don't think - Jane! do you really want to kick me out in front of the children? What is this really about? Do you want me to help you make things right with Rafael? Rafael? (SCOFFS) No, I can win him back in my sleep.
- I've done way worse to him.
- Oh.
No, the truth is if you and I aren't okay, I know something's really wrong.
Because you're kind of my moral compass.
And I can always tell exactly how far I've strayed from what's right by how big your reaction is to what I've done.
So I know I have to do some course correcting, and I plan to.
Appreciate that.
Good.
And regardless, you can't cancel brunch.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) It happens with or without Rafael.
'Cause it was never about him.
So, let's check in on each other, okay? Once a week.
You don't have to do this.
I don't like to be pitied, okay? Are you serious? Don't make me pull the widow card.
I need this, too.
Okay? ROGELIO: The truth is, it isn't for me.
And so I've decided.
It's time to go back to work.
Okay, how was that? Be completely honest.
You're right.
I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Here she is.
The dance studio mogul! Yeah, about that.
I've decided to close the studio.
What? I-I thought you signed up enough students.
(SIGHS) I'm just not happy, Rogelio, and I've known that for a while.
But I've been putting so much pressure on myself, trying to force it to work because I didn't want to be a quitter.
I know that feeling.
Yeah.
And then, I talked to my mom, and she made me realize I'm not quitting.
It's not like it's been three days or three weeks.
I've given it three years.
And a manager from the local Stage Sensations came to spy on the open house, so I reached out to him today, and he offered me a teaching job.
And honestly, I feel so liberated.
Well, that's wonderful, Xiomara.
Well, you inspired me by making your own career change.
(CHUCKLES) It's never too late to commit to something new, right, Danny? PETRA: No! It's not too late.
You can take this Sofia down, - I'm sure of it.
- No.
Oh, please, own your hotness.
Mmm, amen.
That's what I've been telling her.
NARRATOR: Wow, this brunch is going great.
Seriously, you're a ten in my book.
ELSA: Yeah.
Mommy's writing a book.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) Oh.
No, no, that's, that's not what I was talking My mommy's writing a book, too or trying to.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Can you blame me? (LAUGHS) Yeah, I'm just having a little writer's block right now.
Totally.
Me, too.
It's the worst, right? Yeah.
Yours is a little different, though, because you're not a writer, so I knew you were mad about that.
I'm not mad.
I'm just flummoxed.
PETRA: Well, I write every day.
You know? Yeah.
Presentations, - letters, e-mails.
- I mean, I stay at a lot of hotels.
Doesn't mean I can run one.
PETRA: Fine.
If I admit it's really hard, will you be happy? A little, yeah.
It is.
And I don't know what I'm doing.
Don't repeat that.
(SIGHS) Thanks for saying that.
And get a ghostwriter.
What? To help you write your book.
Where on earth am I supposed to find someone who I trust, who knows me really well, who understands my background and my day-to-day life, and who just happens to be a talented writer? Jane, would you ghostwrite my book? (LAUGHS) I-I don't think that's a really good I'll pay you $150 an hour.
$300.
No more than a hundred hours.
Deal.
KIDS: Yay! NARRATOR: What could go wrong? So, yes.
Jane and I made up, so thank you.
And, yes.
We'll turn over those blueprints, J.
R.
RAMOS: That's great.
I'll let the detectives know you're cooperating, Peter.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) You ready to go to the doctor's, Mom? What doctor? I got you in to see a specialist.
To try to help with your memory.
JANE: Everything is so complicated.
There are so many sides to consider, and we've thought about everything.
And we made a decision.
RAFAEL: And we just want to go back to being friends.
And family.
And that means no more kissing, no more exploring.
And we both made this decision.
Okay? (SIGHS) It's the right thing to do, right? Yes.
Absolutely.
It was the only way to give ourselves time without outside pressure.
Exactly.
We can just take it slow.
Wait.
We are gonna have sex, right? Oh, yeah.
We're gonna have a lot of sex.
(MOANING)
JANE: You know Jeffrey Mullins? I would love to meet him.
But that didn't work out.
- And even worse - Oh, my God! Her book didn't exactly create fireworks.
"There is a sense here of promise unfulfilled" But her kiss with Rafael Well, that did.
Not as romantic: Alba turned down Jorge's proposal.
No.
Oh, and Jane's mom and dad got married.
Only, he had a baby with Darci, who was in love with his archrival, Esteban.
I know! Straight out of a telenovela, right? Well, imagine this Petra's sister Anezka schemed against Rafael's sister Luisa.
And Petra found out, and well How long did you leave my sister in an institution knowing she wasn't hallucinating?! A week.
NARRATOR: Oh, and then Anezka went splat, leaving Petra as a person of interest in her death.
So she had to get a lawyer, who was also named Jane.
Only problem Okay.
I'm her lawyer.
What's next? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yikes, right? So let's dive in.
When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was 23 and a half years old, she had a magical kiss with Rafael.
It was the kind of kiss you could only have when you're young, uninhibited, and free of the pressures of MATEO: You guys are kissing! Does that mean you're getting married? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: having a child.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
- We're not getting married.
- That was, - that was, that was just - Uh Um, Mateo (STAMMERS) Mommy and Daddy are just exploring our feelings for one another in a romantic way.
Exactly, and we don't know where it will go because it's brand-new.
And if it works, great.
And if it doesn't, that's okay, because nothing will change for you.
- Nothing.
- Does that make sense? I've never been so happy in my life! JANE: Oh! (PHONE CHIMES) (SIGHS) (SIGHS) (GIGGLES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which brings us to I told them that you and Daddy were exploring each other with kisses.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: So much for the down-low.
- Oh, boy.
- XIOMARA: So what changed? - I don't know how I feel about this.
- Last I heard, you weren't - ROGELIO: We were talking yesterday.
- Everyone stop.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Geez, talk about pressure.
- It was just one kiss.
- Technically, two.
And like we told Mateo, we're figuring it out.
A-And we're gonna just need some time to do that.
So, is there some other reason everybody's here? Beyond potentially confusing a five-year-old boy? Well, I have big news.
I have decided to take one year off from work to become a stay-at-home dad to Baby.
Wow, Ro.
I really admire that.
I do, too.
(RINGTONE PLAYS) Oh.
Hang on, that's my publisher.
I'll be right back.
Oh.
We'll be fine.
I agreed to do a slightly embarrassing overseas commercial.
It is related to digestive issues.
It's not important.
(SPEAKING JAPANESE) (GONG RINGS) ROGELIO: The point is, it will cover the bills.
And now, I can support Xo while she builds up her dance studio and focus on my beautiful baby, Baby.
In fact, I made a vision board.
I intend to raise a strong, self-reliant, intelligent daughter.
Just like Jane.
I was just dropped by my publisher.
What? Yeah, they won't option my second book because not enough people are buying my first.
I'm sorry, hon.
XIOMARA: Yeah, you know how many books J.
K.
Rowling wrote before Harry Potter? None.
It was her first try.
And she did it in a coffee shop while holding a baby on her lap.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow! Talk about your fantastic beasts.
ROGELIO: Who cares? You're still published.
You'll build on that.
Really? Very few women of color get published.
And when we do, we cannot afford to screw it up, because we don't get a second chance - like our peers.
- NARRATOR: Preach.
I'm actually in worse shape than before I sold my book.
I don't have the whiff of promise of a first-time author.
Instead, I have the stench of failure.
Come on, hon.
I think you're being a little dramatic.
No! (CHUCKLES) They actually used the word âstenchâ! RAFAEL: Okay, so it's gonna be hard.
It's always been hard.
And you have fought for this every step of the way.
So you just keep fighting.
And, yeah, you've been a little stuck lately.
But the only way to get past that is to keep writing.
So get on that.
(MATEO GIGGLES) Okay.
Mommy has a few hours.
You know what I'm gonna do? Start brainstorming.
Because, Mateo, when you get knocked down, you get back up again.
(EXHALES) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or at least you try to.
Just dive in.
Something romantic.
Someplace romantic.
Hmm.
BOMBASTIC MUSIC (BIRDS CHIRPING) Hello.
I'm Nicolas, your new groom.
I thought perhaps you can give me riding lessons.
I saw you take two fences out there.
So you are saying no? -I'm saying - Hmm? That we need to manage Mateo's expectations.
DRAMATIC END ROGELIO: My perfect, amazing daughter.
Why is it you grow more beautiful every time I see you? We have very exciting news, Rogelio.
Esteban is shooting a mediocre but long-term series in Moldova? Moosh.
Be the bigger man.
Since you are.
The news is we have finally found the perfect nanny.
Felicia Romero.
She's A-list.
Highly, highly recommended and has tons of CBE.
While that is impressive, I have a better idea.
- What are you doing? - I am now a stay-at-home dad.
So, I'll be happy to be Baby's nanny on Darci's days.
No way, Rogelio.
You'll do it for a few days and then get bored and flake out.
And by then, we'll have lost Felicia.
And we will never find another Felicia.
I won't flake.
I'm 100% committed.
I'll be the nanny.
The dad-nanny.
(GASPS) The Danny! Please? Let me do this for Baby.
Fine.
Bye, Felicia.
MATEO: Don't go.
(SIGHS) I want us all to still live together.
Oh, I know, buddy.
But me staying here was always temporary.
And Mommy can come to my new apartment all the time.
- Really? - Of course.
(PHONE CHIMES) Rafael is still mad at me.
Whoa.
Personal space.
(CHUCKLES) Can you help me? I've apologized over and over.
You left his sister in an institution when you knew she wasn't hallucinating.
And I feel bad about that.
He says he's not coming to brunch on Saturday.
And you know brunches are sacred family time.
Actually, I think we should skip brunch for a bit.
What? You just push people too far, Petra.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I'll say.
(SHOUTS) JANE: And at a certain point, they can't come back anymore.
Hello! I'm home! MATEO: Daddy's in the shower and I'm in your room! Oh.
What's going on? I'm helping you pack so you can come live with Daddy.
- What? - Don't you want to live there? I live here.
But Daddy wants you to.
- Mateo - He does! He told me! Why are you the only one who doesn't want us to be a family?! Of course I didn't say that.
I said you can come over as much as you want.
Well, somehow, I'm the one getting in the way of his happily ever after.
We'll straighten him out.
Don't worry.
(SIGHS) What? Just that if I'm honest, Mateo kind of got it right.
Not about what I said.
About how I feel.
I do want us together.
Happily ever after.
And I'm not pushing.
I just want you to know that I'm all in.
And I know, okay, the timing is bad.
You just got out of a relationship, y-your career isn't where you want it to be My career is nowhere.
I don't have an agent, a publisher, an idea.
And you'll get all of those.
I know you will.
Maybe.
Definitely.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, briefly, oh-so-briefly, it was just them, there, in that moment, without all the outside pressure.
But it's not just that.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Alas, it never is.
Honestly, I'm having whiplash.
I mean, six weeks ago, you were sleeping with Katherine to get your hotel back.
And that was a-a low point.
I know.
But, still it was pretty dark.
But I'm in a different place now.
I promise.
And I-I am not going back there.
Just trust me, Jane.
PETRA: Jane, Jane, Jane.
Everything in my life is now about Jane.
Personally, because our children share a father, and now professionally.
Since you're my lawyer.
Anyway, that's why it would just be easier if I called you J.
R.
No.
Oh, come on.
If you call me J.
R.
, I'll call you Peter.
That's a little punitive.
Here's why we're meeting.
The police went over all of your e-mails, and you said some pretty nasty stuff about your sister.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Some highlights Sorry.
I'll translate that one.
Yeah.
That's pretty damning.
Now they're saying they want to create a computer model of the scene, so they're requesting a blueprint of the guest room.
No way.
Not without a warrant.
I've watched Law & Order.
They're liable to find any small thing to try to build a case against me.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) Well, first of all, never trust television writers.
My ex-girlfriend was one, and they just build things up for the sake of drama.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which reminds me, who is Jane Ramos working for? (LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) And I really think cooperating with the police will convince them that you have nothing to hide.
KRISHNA: Sorry to interrupt, but Rafael is here and I thought you'd want to see him since you're in the doghouse.
Krishna, that's not an appropriate thing to announce when I'm in a meeting.
I know.
Excuse me for a second.
Well, this is a surprise.
The girls are upstairs.
I'm on my way, but I wanted to ask you for a favor first.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) Is everything all right? (LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Geez, I got to be careful not to overuse that.
Not really.
My mother has early onset Alzheimer's, and I just found out the top specialist here in Miami won't take any new patients.
So Will you turn over the blueprints to the police? I'll think about it.
XIOMARA: What's wrong? (SIGHS) What? Oh, my God.
How did it go? XIOMARA: He can't do that.
Who the hell does he think he is? NARRATOR: Uh, apparently every man in a position of power in the whole entire world, except me.
You tell Jorge that's no way to treat you, and if he does it again, you report him.
ROGELIO: Well, this man couldn't agree more.
More iced coffee, ladies? I ground the beans myself, and infused them with cinnamon.
Thank God for Pinterest.
No, thanks, hon.
I got to go to work.
Okay.
Well, have you figured out what you want on your vision board? Well, I need four more students a month for the studio to break even.
Not sexy enough for a vision board.
Regardless, that's the goal, so I'm gonna have an open house, offer a few free classes.
I love it.
Yes.
An open house now, eventually a franchise.
And I'm here to help in my capacity as homemaker and support system.
Okay.
Well, great.
Thanks.
Have a great day at work.
I'll have dinner waiting.
Yay.
(CAMERA CLICKS) Everything you do is so cute.
You were born to be on-screen.
(CAMERA CLICKS) (RINGTONE PLAYING) Uh-huh? DARCI: What the hell is going on over there? You've been posting pictures for five hours straight.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Which was true, for the record.
Well, we're just having fun.
Rogelio, you are supposed to be taking care of your child, not using her to raise your social media profile.
Do you know who does that? Heidi and Spencer.
(GASPS) DARCI: A-listers maintain their children's privacy.
There's a reason you never see George and Amal doing the pap stroll with their twins.
So no more baby on social media, period.
You had me at Heidi and Spencer.
DARCI: Thank you.
Now talk to me.
Did she take her morning poop? Uh, no.
Shoot.
She holds when she's nervous.
She's definitely nervous.
Stop taking pictures and try and get your daughter to poop.
(TOILET FLUSHING) (LAUGHS): What're you so happy about? Oh, just that I got you a meeting with Petra's book agent friend.
- Jeffrey Mullins? - Yes.
Yes, but I have to share the credit with Petra.
She was actually pretty great; she wouldn't let him hang up until he moved a lunch and agreed to meet you on Friday.
As in in two days? Yeah.
What's wrong? He'll ask me the question.
- What question? - NARRATOR: The question.
What am I writing next? (LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Sorry.
Trying to stop.
And I have no idea what I'm writing next.
I'm sorry.
I mean, I can ask Petra to-to push it.
Not after he moved his schedule around.
Look, I know you're just trying to help, but you can't fix my writing career.
I know.
I was just (FLOOR CREAKS) Anyway, it's fine.
Uh, but I should figure out what I'm pitching to Jeffrey Mullins.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Last time.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: There is nothing worse than writer's block.
Yeah, that's not a good opener.
Come on, Jane.
Romance, passion, longing.
Okay, a prison.
We can work with prison.
I'm innocent! I'm not supposed to be here.
Please.
I didn't do anything wrong.
I'm innocent! I believe you, Estela.
- Really? - Yes.
And I am gonna get you out of here.
Oh.
- And once I do - Yes.
You'll come over to my new apartment, so we can convince Mateo that you're not the villain destroying our family.
Ugh.
Yeah, just blocked.
Where are you going? Nice.
Show him who's boss.
NARRATOR: Well, technically, he is.
But, yeah.
Go get him, Alba.
Damn, Jorge.
That's the fastest rebound I've ever seen.
(SIGHS) RAFAEL: Okay, set expectations low.
My new apartment.
This is it? Well, I said to set expectations low.
I didn't know what that meant.
Oh, wow.
Original art deco windows.
Whoo.
And you have a fire escape? Exactly.
And it's cozy, and who doesn't love cozy, right? Now, Mommy, out.
No.
- Hey, no fair.
- Yes, fair.
It's boy time and I want it to be just us.
Okay? Go.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow.
A little harsh.
Thanks for kicking me out.
No problem.
And I'll talk to him.
Make sure he knows you're not the bad guy.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, I see.
- Even though I am.
- Hey.
I'm the one who keeps screwing up.
No.
Stop.
Uh, any ideas for your agent meeting tomorrow? No ideas, per se, but I did do some research.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes.
Jane's other passion.
And I looked up the hottest books right now, pulled trends and themes from the most successful romance novels, and came up with three general areas.
I'll pitch them, see how the agents respond, and go from there.
Well, kick ass.
JANE: It's a sweeping romance.
An idea I've been toying with for a while.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Translation, since last night.
Think about Outlander, but instead of time travel, we do it with reincarnation.
Yeah, unfortunately, we already have something similar.
Okay.
How about a take on The Notebook? Ah.
But with vampires.
The market's oversaturated with vampire romances.
You got anything else? Yeah, sure.
My favorite, actually.
How about Fifty Shades of Grey with a role reversal where the heroine's the boss? Petra.
Leslie, this is Petra.
The momtrepreneur.
I think I read about you in Ocean Drive.
Yes.
They did that feature when I renovated the hotel.
Uh, anyway, just wanted to make sure - you all got settled.
- We did.
No, stay, stay, stay.
No, I couldn't.
Yeah, stay.
Definitely.
Okay.
Now, Petra has had such an amazing life.
Oh, no.
Please, Jeffrey.
This meeting's not about me.
Oh, come on.
Your story is incredible.
I mean, talk about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.
She used to play violin on the streets of Prague for pocket change.
LESLIE: I remember thinking just based on the Ocean Drive article, that Petra could author a great lifestyle book.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Did she just say âauthorâ? As in âbook authorâ? LESLIE: I mean, she does look like the non-evil Ivanka.
(LAUGHS) Oh, please, I can't stand Ivanka.
She tried to sell me a few of those bum condos a few years back.
(LAUGHS) See? Now, that's the kind of thing that would be great in the book.
(LAUGHS): Yeah.
Hmm.
So anyway You know, a lifestyle book - could turn you into a brand.
- That's so funny you say that, 'cause I've always toyed with branding myself.
(LAUGHS) - Well, what about Jane? - Yeah.
Oh, right.
Your Fifty Shades idea sounds like fun.
Send me the first chapter as soon as you have it.
And you get me a short proposal.
I will sell it by the end of the week.
What do you say? You want to write a book? (MOUTHS) Jane thinks you should, right? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And what else could Jane say but Of course.
You should totally write a book.
Well okay! (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS): All right.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.
So I'd say Jane is Fifty Shades of Green.
Jane, if you don't want me to take this book deal, I won't.
Hey, if you are genuinely interested in writing a book, then, by all means, go for it.
All right, fine.
I'm turning it down.
(STAMMERS) No, not on my account.
You're clearly upset about it, and the whole point of getting the agents here to meet with you was so that you and I could move past things.
Life isn't transactional, Petra.
If you turn down the book deal, it's not like I'm gonna suddenly forget all the horrible things you've done.
Fine.
If they aren't related, then I'm writing it.
Great! Good luck on your Czechoslovakian bootstrap beach lifestyle book! PETRA: Can you believe she said that, Krishna? That everything I do is transactional? I mean, I've done plenty of things out of the goodness of my heart for you, haven't I? - Like what? - Well, I can't remember right now.
You're putting me on the spot.
Anyway, I want to do something now.
- For me? - No.
For J.
R.
's mother.
I want to get her in to see that Alzheimer's specialist.
I have a lot of connections at the hospital.
So, move mountains, Krishna.
I want an appointment by end of day.
- Okay.
- And after that, I'm gonna need you to get me some writing supplies.
Green tea, candles, Montblanc pens, background music.
ROGELIO: Let's go.
One, two, make a poop Three, four, out the back door Come on, come on, you can do it.
Is it me, Baby? You know I love you very much, but are you not comfortable with our arrangement yet? It's all right.
I'm not 100% comfortable yet, either.
In fact I am feeling a little I don't know.
Lonely? But we'll get used to it, and then (BABY COOS, POO SPLATS) (INHALES DEEPLY) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And, friends, standing there, covered in poop, Rogelio had never been more relieved, and neither had his daughter.
Okay.
Say, âNo more constipation.
â (CAMERA CLICKS) God, I want to post this so bad! NARRATOR: And in that moment, Rogelio thought: âIf you take a selfie, and no one sees it, do you even exist?â (CAMERA CLICKS) Okay.
We have two whole hours before your nap! We can play peekaboo, or you can lie on your stomach.
Or, well, those are pretty much the options.
(LAUGHS) (PHONE CHIMES) ALBA: Xiomara? I don't know what to put on my vision board.
No, I just mean that when I try to think about what I want, what I see for my business, I I'm not even dancing anymore, Ma.
Just administrating and solving problems and hounding people for payments and dealing with insurance and - I hate it! - Xiomara I know what you're gonna say.
âStick with it,â because I never stick with anything.
It's kind of late to start thinking about a new career.
Uh Well, fine.
- It's true for you, too.
- Hmm.
Who cares that Jorge was out on some rebound? Sofia? As in? RAFAEL: Is everything okay? Yes, I just wanted to talk to you because, well, Mateo had a really tough time in school this week.
- Really? - Yeah.
He's been pretty distracted and irritable.
And when I said I was gonna talk to his parents, he started to cry, and begged me not to before some âbig decision about whether you are gonna be a family.
â A lot's up in the air right now at home.
Well, I don't want to pry, but whatever it is, you should let him know what's going on, 'cause he's really anxious.
(SIGHS) Everything okay? Mateo's teachers talked to Raf at drop-off.
He needs to know what's going on.
We need to make a decision.
So, we're sleeping on it.
Uh, so what's-what's going on here? Sofia, as in his girlfriend before you? (CRYING) (SIGHS): Oh.
Do you regret that? What reason, Ma? And yes, I know it was because you didn't love him the way you loved Dad, but you knew that.
You were gonna say âyesâ anyway.
Why didn't you? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Blocked, as it were.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah.
There's a lot of that going around.
Love blocked.
Writers blocked.
Wow.
I've never seen Jane this frustrated.
Ah, that makes more sense.
Okay.
Let's see what she's written so far.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) J.
R.
What are you doing here? Jane.
And I just wanted to say thank you for getting that appointment for my mother.
It meant a lot.
Well, you know, sometimes you just want to do nice things for people without expecting anything in return.
Are you day drinking? And holding a séance? No.
I'm writing my book.
Well, I just got the commission.
It's a lifestyle book.
The police are investigating you for murder.
You really think it's a good idea to put out - a lifestyle book? - You're gonna make that whole murder thing go away because I didn't do it.
You do know that, right? Because you have to trust me if you want to be my lawyer.
Did you see that on TV, too? No.
Maybe.
So what are you gonna write about your sister? In your book? If I'm going to talk about my sister, I'm going to need some more wine.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Petra, no! Stop! Don't let her in.
(PHONE CHIMES) (SIGHS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: All right.
Tight, douchey shirts.
Fifty Shades.
Let's go! JANE: Rafael, please take a seat.
You're late to our meeting.
Take off your shirt.
Put that on.
(SIGHS) You've been a bad administrative assistant.
Lean over the desk.
Yes.
But.
You.
Know.
Who's.
Been.
A.
Good.
Boy? - Mateo.
- No, stop talking about Mateo.
It isn't sexy or romantic.
This is supposed to be sexy and romantic.
You know what I think is sexy and romantic? The fact that I've been in every single one of your fantasies.
Clearly you can't get me out of your head.
- But what does that mean? - Well, it means I'm your romantic hero.
I may be a flawed hero, but I'm yours.
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And in that moment, Jane knew exactly what she had to do.
I think we should give it a chance.
Us a chance.
I've been fighting and fighting it, but it's in my heart and in my head, clearly.
And What? Um I was gonna say that you were right.
Maybe I'm not in the right headspace for a relationship.
I guess I was just looking around.
At my place, at my life right now.
I'm scared.
Scared that this is gonna last, that I'm gonna be stuck in this tiny apartment where the hallway has a weird hotdog smell.
And part of me just didn't want to admit that to you because I don't want you to think I'm too dark.
No hallway should smell like that.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) You have to be able to tell me the truth.
I know.
But I also know what you're gonna say.
Hmm? Money doesn't matter.
Okay.
Seriously? You think I don't have big dreams for my life? You think I don't want to write a best seller and make loads of cash and buy a giant house? And one for my grandma.
Oh.
And a boat.
- A boat? - Hell yeah.
In fact, I'm writing some silly S and M book - right now to get there.
- S and M? - Mm-hmm.
- Wow.
You are full of surprises.
What's the inspiration? Trying to guess what will sell.
Ooh.
Yeah, that won't work.
You can't write if you're not inspired.
I might be able to.
Mm-mm.
Never.
- I know you.
- Yeah.
You do.
You'll get an idea.
Don't rush it.
You have time.
I wish we had time.
But we don't.
Mateo needs an answer.
So are we in a place right now to really be in a relationship? Like, fully in? RAMOS: No.
Oh, what's the big deal? The big deal is it's not my name.
And what is it with this Jane? Are you in love with her or something? (LAUGHS): What? No.
Then why are you obsessed with her? I'm not.
Okay, fine.
Maybe now, but that's just because well, because (CHUCKLES) because she's mad at me.
Are you okay? (VOICE BREAKING): I'm fine.
Sorry.
'Cause this is a lot more emotion than you showed about your sister, who's dead.
My sister was awful.
Jane's a good person.
So if she's done with me I must be awful.
You're not awful.
(SNIFFLES) I hardly know you, and you got my mom in to see a doctor.
Well, 'cause Jane said I see relationships as transactional.
I was trying to prove her wrong.
Yeah, that makes more sense.
Look, um everybody has ulterior motives.
That's not a bad thing.
I mean, you really think I came over with a bottle of wine just to say thank you? You didn't? Yeah, that was part of it.
But I also want the blueprints.
Because I need you to trust me, too.
You're relentless.
(CHUCKLES) Without a doubt.
Look, whatever your beef is with this other Jane (SCOFFS) just don't take no for an answer.
JANE: Petra? W-What are you doing here? You can't cancel brunch.
Have a seat, girls.
Um, what's going on? It's brunch.
And I need to make things right between us, so I'm here to cook everyone a traditional Czech breakfast.
Alba, any food intolerances? NARRATOR: No intolerances for the food.
Just the company.
No.
- Petra, I don't think - Jane! do you really want to kick me out in front of the children? What is this really about? Do you want me to help you make things right with Rafael? Rafael? (SCOFFS) No, I can win him back in my sleep.
- I've done way worse to him.
- Oh.
No, the truth is if you and I aren't okay, I know something's really wrong.
Because you're kind of my moral compass.
And I can always tell exactly how far I've strayed from what's right by how big your reaction is to what I've done.
So I know I have to do some course correcting, and I plan to.
Appreciate that.
Good.
And regardless, you can't cancel brunch.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) It happens with or without Rafael.
'Cause it was never about him.
So, let's check in on each other, okay? Once a week.
You don't have to do this.
I don't like to be pitied, okay? Are you serious? Don't make me pull the widow card.
I need this, too.
Okay? ROGELIO: The truth is, it isn't for me.
And so I've decided.
It's time to go back to work.
Okay, how was that? Be completely honest.
You're right.
I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Here she is.
The dance studio mogul! Yeah, about that.
I've decided to close the studio.
What? I-I thought you signed up enough students.
(SIGHS) I'm just not happy, Rogelio, and I've known that for a while.
But I've been putting so much pressure on myself, trying to force it to work because I didn't want to be a quitter.
I know that feeling.
Yeah.
And then, I talked to my mom, and she made me realize I'm not quitting.
It's not like it's been three days or three weeks.
I've given it three years.
And a manager from the local Stage Sensations came to spy on the open house, so I reached out to him today, and he offered me a teaching job.
And honestly, I feel so liberated.
Well, that's wonderful, Xiomara.
Well, you inspired me by making your own career change.
(CHUCKLES) It's never too late to commit to something new, right, Danny? PETRA: No! It's not too late.
You can take this Sofia down, - I'm sure of it.
- No.
Oh, please, own your hotness.
Mmm, amen.
That's what I've been telling her.
NARRATOR: Wow, this brunch is going great.
Seriously, you're a ten in my book.
ELSA: Yeah.
Mommy's writing a book.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) Oh.
No, no, that's, that's not what I was talking My mommy's writing a book, too or trying to.
(LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS) LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Can you blame me? (LAUGHS) Yeah, I'm just having a little writer's block right now.
Totally.
Me, too.
It's the worst, right? Yeah.
Yours is a little different, though, because you're not a writer, so I knew you were mad about that.
I'm not mad.
I'm just flummoxed.
PETRA: Well, I write every day.
You know? Yeah.
Presentations, - letters, e-mails.
- I mean, I stay at a lot of hotels.
Doesn't mean I can run one.
PETRA: Fine.
If I admit it's really hard, will you be happy? A little, yeah.
It is.
And I don't know what I'm doing.
Don't repeat that.
(SIGHS) Thanks for saying that.
And get a ghostwriter.
What? To help you write your book.
Where on earth am I supposed to find someone who I trust, who knows me really well, who understands my background and my day-to-day life, and who just happens to be a talented writer? Jane, would you ghostwrite my book? (LAUGHS) I-I don't think that's a really good I'll pay you $150 an hour.
$300.
No more than a hundred hours.
Deal.
KIDS: Yay! NARRATOR: What could go wrong? So, yes.
Jane and I made up, so thank you.
And, yes.
We'll turn over those blueprints, J.
R.
RAMOS: That's great.
I'll let the detectives know you're cooperating, Peter.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) You ready to go to the doctor's, Mom? What doctor? I got you in to see a specialist.
To try to help with your memory.
JANE: Everything is so complicated.
There are so many sides to consider, and we've thought about everything.
And we made a decision.
RAFAEL: And we just want to go back to being friends.
And family.
And that means no more kissing, no more exploring.
And we both made this decision.
Okay? (SIGHS) It's the right thing to do, right? Yes.
Absolutely.
It was the only way to give ourselves time without outside pressure.
Exactly.
We can just take it slow.
Wait.
We are gonna have sex, right? Oh, yeah.
We're gonna have a lot of sex.
(MOANING)