Jersey Shore s04e09 Episode Script

- Anybody comes close to me, I can kick him.
- Mike tells me him and Jionni have beefed.
- What is wrong with you? - Yeah, relax.
- Do your thing, kung fu panda.
- What happened? - Jionni, the fact that you're getting upset that Nicole did something a little skanky is ridiculous.
- Jionni, stop.
Jionni! - Why did he leave me like that? - I know.
I know.
- Dj Pauly Delvecchio! - I'm going to the Jersey shore, bitch! - All right, we got a situation.
- I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet.
- After I have sex with a guy I will rip their heads off.
- Go vinny! Go Vinny! - You like the boobs? - yeah, mornings just sucks.
- I don't feel good.
- How are you? - Hung-over.
How are you? Still in the same jeans I wore last night out.
Do you think I am? - Can't even keep my eyes open.
- I can't deal.
Jionni left.
I get it.
Like, I'm a lot to handle.
And I do up.
But to fly all the way to Florence and just leave me, it's just like Really? - Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system.
- I can't get in touch with him, and I have no idea where he is.
Horrible, horrible.
This is horrible.
- Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice mess - I don't even know what to say right now.
This is very rare.
- Sweating balls in this place.
- My God! Look what she did! When I know that people are hung-over and they're not having a good time, I start yelling, I get loud, and I start messing with people.
I'm gonna get security.
We got security in the store? She started it.
Come on.
- That was not me.
- I'm trying to work, and she's making all kinda noise.
- Come on.
- Crazy.
You got me in trouble.
- Well, I'm depressed.
Jenni, I can't lay here.
If you whenever you want to get up, I just need to go somewhere.
- I'll talk to you when I get up.
I wake up this morning still pissed off from last night because Nicole went way over the top, saying that I don't do for her.
- Don't get near me! Don't get near me! - So all right, I'm not gonna do anything for you right now.
- Can't lay here.
I have no idea where the Jionni is.
I'm freaking out, and I just need somebody to talk to, and jenni just doesn't want anything to do with me.
I'm like, "what the hell?" Well, boo, I'm going out.
And I'm not coming back until the sun goes down.
It's gonna be one of those days.
I just think that Jionni he's never gonna talk to me again.
And I love him.
How do you open this thing? Come si dice, "where the is my boyfriend?" I need a beer.
I'm sitting at this bar, just like, "what the?" Like, he could be here right now.
Put the music up louder.
I'm really sad about it.
Wanna hear a story? Okay.
So I flew my boyfriend out here to be with me, and he left me.
So I'm miserable right now.
So I came here to drink, and that's what I'm doing.
So don't look at me like I'm a weirdo.
I'm heartbroken.
So let me dance.
- I have a job for you.
- No.
- No? - No.
- Are you sure? Come here.
- I'm not cleaning the toilet.
- Vieni qua, vieni qua, vieni qua.
- I'm not cleaning the toilet.
I have to clean the toilet? Like, I have to clean the freakin' bathroom? I don't freakin' clean the freakin' bathroom.
- It's so easy, lady.
- I'm not cleaning the toilet.
- You clean everything.
And after, with the mop, with this.
- I don't do bathrooms.
It's not gonna happen.
These nails, these hands, they don't clean toilets.
Like, are you kidding me? I don't know what's, like, been in that toilet.
I'm not touching that With my hands, either.
- Damn, that sucks.
They make you do that? - Kind of gross.
- Yuck.
- Marco, I'm finished.
- Ciao.
- Have a good trip.
Nice to meet you.
- Ciao.
- Bye, Marco.
- Ciao.
- Ciao.
- Ciao.
- Grazie.
At this point, like, I don't know what to do.
I just want to go back home and talk to my dad.
This is the worst day of my life.
I'm not kidding, okay? Okay.
Jenni didn't want to come with me.
That's actually really depressing.
- Where were you? You all right? - No.
- Hello? - Dad! - Yes, dear.
- Jionni left.
- Huh? - All I wanted to do was see him, and it's not happening.
Like, why? I've been waiting for this moment this whole time I've been here, and it's not happening.
Like, why did he leave me? - Honey, I understand.
- No, you don't understand.
You have no idea what the I'm going through right now.
Why did he leave me? - Yes, I - I'm even more depressed than I was before.
- Why did he leave you? - What the? That's not right.
If he knew that this was gonna happen, he should've not came.
- Is he on the phone? - Her dad.
- I needed you, ass.
- I needed you.
- I was so exhausted I couldn't process.
- I don't care.
I needed you.
I needed you.
I didn't have anybody.
I needed you.
- I'm sorry.
I see Nicole on the phone crying hysterically, and I finally realized I can't be mad at this girl.
I'm not gonna continue this fighting.
All I'm gonna do is say I'm sorry, and I'm gonna help her.
- I don't know what's going on.
Jionni left me.
Could you imagine Roger leaving you? Like, seriously.
What the am I gonna do now? This whole day me and Jionni could be together, and I don't know where the he is.
I'm not happy.
I'm not happy with him.
But I love him, so this sucks.
- this is the worst day of my life.
- I need to see you.
Like, I'm miserable.
- I can't do it.
I took a train to rome.
- Get the out! Ew, ew! Ew, get it off of me! - I'm just a loser.
I need to change myself to get married, I swear.
No one can handle me.
I hate myself.
I hate the way I am.
- I don't know what happened last night, but I know you don't deserve it.
- I understand that he was pissed, but you don't have to leave me like that.
Like, you know? - No.
- And I needed you, boo.
I needed you.
- I was half asleep.
- You knew I was upset.
- No.
I'm sorry for being very mad from last night.
I've never in my life thought I would ever scream at you the way I did last night.
- I don't want us to be like that.
Like, I understand when I get drunk, I get crazy, but don't hate me for it.
Like, when I need you, I need you, and you weren't there.
This morning I needed you.
- I know.
- I needed somebody.
- And that's my apology.
Nicole was only being herself last night.
And I'm the ass right now for not putting that bull aside to help her today.
We'll figure this out.
The kid couldn't get a flight like that.
It just doesn't work like that.
So most likely he's still here.
Let's go, and let me track him down.
And if he's willing to meet me somewhere - I just want Jionni here.
- All right.
- That's it.
- I'm gonna try.
- That's it.
This is just up.
I'm such a loser.
Don't look at me right now.
Who cares? I just feel like, and I don't want to look like, that's all.
- Listen, your hair looks perfect.
Your dress is very cute.
Who cares if your face is a mess? You're feeling a mess.
- Is it a mess? - Yeah.
You have a little eye makeup over here.
But you know what? It's 'cause you're crying.
- I don't even have eyelashes on.
- You look ni you look like you.
Who cares? - Hello? - Jionni? - Yeah.
- It's Jenni.
- Jenni, what's up? - Jionni actually picks up, and I'm like, "oh.
" Are you still in Florence? - No.
- You're not? - I gotta go.
I-I know I can't - I understand, I understand, but you gotta listen to me.
Just please listen to me.
If there is any hope of you making this work with Nicole, please, please come back and talk to this girl.
I have never seen her this way.
Can you please she is so helpless right now.
Please talk to her for two minutes.
- Yeah.
- Please.
Nicole! Come here.
I have Jionni on the phone.
- Jionni's on the phone.
Please - Nicole! - Let's go, hurry up.
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
- I can't.
- Hurry up.
- Please come here.
Hello? - Hello? - Can I see you, please? - What? - I want to see you.
I need to see you.
Please.
- I can't, babe.
I can't, Nicole.
- Why'd you leave me? - Nicole, I you you promised me one thing.
- I understand, but - Stop - don't leave me.
I need you.
Just stop.
I need to see you.
Like, I'm miserable.
- I can't I can't do it.
I can't do it.
- What do you mean, you can't do it? - You don't know what you did to me.
I-I-I can't talk about it right now.
- So - You don't know what you did.
- Babe, come here.
Come here, please.
- I-I already left.
- What do you mean, you left? Where are you? - Um, I took a train to rome.
- Whatever.
- No, wait, no, no.
No, not whatever.
- He took a train to rome, so he's already gone.
- Who cares? Who cares? - He's already gone.
- Jionni, Jionni, listen.
You have a girlfriend here that is so devastated over this.
- What do you want me to do? I can't - I just want you to turn around.
If you love this girl, just turn around and - I'm on a - And give her a hug.
- I'm on a train already.
- It doesn't matter.
- He doesn't want to.
- Him.
- Bye, it's done.
- No, you're not doing that right now.
You're not being Sam right now, because in ten minutes, you're gonna change your mind.
I'm trying to explain to Jionni, like, listen.
If you get the out of Italy, you will no longer have this girl in your life.
I will pay whatever it takes for you to turn around - all right, tell her - please, I am begging you.
Jionni, make this right for her.
- I'll I'll talk to her if you walk her if you walk her towards the train station.
- I will walk her towards the train station right now.
- All right, I'm I'm here outside.
Bye.
- Bye.
He's at the train station.
- Come on.
- We're going.
- Come on.
Come on.
- He didn't even go? - No, he didn't go.
I knew he wasn't gonna leave.
Let's go.
- Why is he being such a prick? - He sounded like he was at a freakin' bar.
- Don't say stupid things like that.
Sam! - Stop, that's not me anymore.
Tell her she's being the old me.
- Let's go get Ron.
Okay, Sam, let's go get Ron.
- She's having a Sam moment.
- She's definitely having a Sam moment.
- Come on, boo.
- I'm here.
- Okay, Nicole.
Be strong.
- I love you.
- Love you.
- I'm so lost.
- Anyone speak English? - Inglese? - Train station? - Straight down.
Straight down there.
- This way? - Sure.
- Grazie.
I'm just so concerned with the fact that in the next five to ten minutes, Jionni could change his mind and jump on a train to rome, and then that's it.
So how's my eyelashes? 'Cause I just glued them to my eye.
- How are mine? I just glued them on drunk.
- I like it.
How's mine? - No, you're good.
- Only we would be worried about eyelashes at this moment.
- Ooh, I'm - There it is.
There he is.
- Where? My God.
My God.
My God.
- You have all over you.
- No.
- All over you.
- No, just hug me.
Please don't ever leave me like that again.
- Babe, listen, I have to go, all right? - What do you mean, go? - I have to go.
I just got my ticket.
I gotta go.
Don't go.
- I paid for rome.
- I gotta go.
- I'll pay you back.
Please don't go.
- Stop.
- Please don't go.
- I don't wanna do this.
- Jionni, I came here.
Just stay here, please.
Please don't do that in public right now, please.
Just come back with me, please? - Babe, I have to go.
- No, you don't.
- My mom already paid for this ticket for me, all right? - So you're gonna leave me right now, again? He can't stay because his mom changed his ticket.
So everything's just up.
Nothing ever goes my way, I swear.
Nothing ever goes my way.
- Why were you onstage picking your skirt up? I just snapped.
- I'm sorry, babe.
- Literally snapped.
- I'm sorry.
- I called my family up flipping out.
- Great.
- So they booked me a new flight.
- you're the only thing that makes me happy, and you're leaving me.
So just say goodbye, and let me go inside and cry.
I want to bury myself in a hole right now.
I feel horrible.
- Give me a hug.
I don't want to miss another train.
I just want you to stay here.
- Babe, it's my fault.
I Up.
I'm so sorry.
Be good, all right? - Promise? Love you.
- I've been waiting this whole time to see you, and then you have to leave? Like, breaks my heart.
My heart's broken right now.
- I have an emergency.
- Honestly.
Like, this is so stupid.
- Pregnancy test.
- See? This is so stupid.
- I don't want to talk to you right now, and I'm not gonna call you for a few days.
I need a break from you.
- That's your decision.
- Yeah, it is my decision.
- I need to squeeze you.
- Okay.
- Just one second.
- Okay.
- Vinny's in purple pants.
I don't know how I feel about it.
- Yo, put the couch on deena's bed, yo.
- What? - Just put the couch on deena's bed, bro.
- You do it.
- You got it.
That's what's up.
That's what's up.
- Is she coming? - Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Go, go.
Go.
- Deena.
It's, like, the funniest thing in the world.
So I put the couch on deena's bed.
I put a chair on deena's bed.
I took everything that belongs to deena and built a pyramid on top of deena's bed.
It's like a beautiful piece of artwork when I'm done with it.
That is the best day of my life on top of a bed.
- I gotta go take a shower.
- You do that, bro.
- My God.
- Ciao.
- Hi.
I have to get ready.
I have to get ready! - Don't look at me.
- .
Vinny! Vinny! - What? - Come on! You wanna with me, Vinny? I will come so close.
I have no shame.
Get the Ew, ew! Ew, get it off of me! Ew! Ew, he put his penis on me! - What? - Jerk! - It was Pauly! - What am I supposed to do? - Whenever you get punked in the house, you have to clean up the mess by yourself.
That's just the rules of the room.
- I just cleaned my side.
What the help! I can't! Help me.
Come on.
I can't get out.
No.
Like, I'm really stuck.
Somebody help me.
- My God.
- I'm stuck.
- This is the best day of my life.
- Please.
- Where are we going? To Central Park? - Yo, Mike.
Central Park? - Yeah, sure.
Whatever you guys wanna do, I'm down with it.
- Are you coming? - I don't know.
Jionni could be here right now.
This sucks balls.
I'm so upset that Jionni's not here, that I could be dancing with him and making out with him.
- Get the up.
- You're going out.
This is no time to mourn.
- Shut the up.
- I hate you.
Don't touch me, 'cause I'm bloated, and I'm gonna fart on you.
That hurts.
That must really hurt Roger.
I definitely don't feel like going out tonight, but everybody's going out, and, you know, what am I gonna do? Sit in my bed and cry over Jionni? Like, I should, you know, try and enjoy it for a little bit.
Do I look like elvira? - Yeah.
- Yes? Do you - My God.
Her beer just went in her face.
- Here we go.
- Let's go, we're ready.
- Andiamo, arrivederci, and all that good stuff.
- Is this ugly? - I feel like I look fat.
- Love you guys.
Thank you.
- Anytime, boo.
- I'm hot.
- Damn.
- The whole time I've been here, like, I've been emotional and stuff, and, like, I feel like that's, like, signs of, like, being pregnant.
And I haven't told anyone yet, but I missed my period.
- This place is hoppin'.
- I'm just dancing my ass off.
Obviously, I have a lot of aggression to get out right now.
I meet this guy, and he's dancing, so I'm, like, riding on him and choking him at the same time.
I was just like, "You, Jionni left," like, "rawrrr!" - You all right? - Can I tell you something? I had sex right before I came here, right? And I'm a little bit nervous.
I have a feeling I'm pregnant.
- Deena is confiding in me in the fact that she thinks she might be pregnant.
And I'm like, "oh, my God.
" Like, can I get a normal night? - Every day I get dizzy.
Every day.
I think that's why I've been, like, freaking out.
- This is an atomic bomb waiting to go off.
And I'm just like, "let's get real.
"Let's go get a pregnancy test right now.
"'Cause you're gonna drive yourself nuts not knowing, "and on top of it, you're drinking every night.
" We're gonna have to go over one block.
- If I'm pregnant, I'm just.
- No, you're not.
- No, you don't get it.
Like, I'll slit my wrists.
I'm freaking out.
What if I am pregnant? I've been partying.
I've been smoking.
You know, my parents are gonna kill me.
Cannot believe this just happened.
My parents are gonna be so mad.
I'm so upset.
Like, I don't want to do this.
- No, we're right here.
We're right here.
Ex-scusi.
Ex-scusi, I need I have an emergency.
- Honestly.
Like, this is so stupid.
Hi, I need - Pregnancy test.
- This is stupid, see? - Okay, okay.
- This is so stupid.
I'm embarrassing my family.
- Deena, compose yourself.
- No.
- Come on.
- All right.
- Ciao.
- I just really don't want to do this.
- Deena's a wreck at the pharmacy, screaming and crying about this pregnancy test 'cause she doesn't want to look like a whore, and all is said and done, and I'm like, "dude.
" Just take the pregnancy test.
" - I'm not, right? - No, you're not.
- But what if I am, though? - See, look at you.
- You're mind- yourself.
We're gonna end this right now.
We're home.
- So can you hide it? - Who is it? - It's us.
Let us in.
- Where'd you guys go? - To get a ba food.
- To get a what? - To get a food.
- I just have to pee so bad.
- My God, like, this is, like, for real-real.
I can go in that bathroom, and I could be pregnant right now.
- Go.
One is no, two is yes.
- This whole time, I'm depressed because of you.
And I'm not being myself.
So thank you.
- So why are you with me? - I don't know.
I'm asking myself that question right now.
- I'm laying in bed.
Snooki comes in.
So what am I gonna do, Throw her out of the room? No.
- I have an emergency.
I need pregnancy test.
- If I'm pregnant, I'm just.
- Go.
- How long do you wait? - Five minutes.
- Do you think it's done yet? - Yeah.
- Should I look? - Well, yeah.
One is no, two is yes.
- My God, if I am pregnant, like, what the am I gonna do? I'm not ready for a kid.
- One's no, right? - Yep.
Thank God.
- Feel better? - Yes.
- Luckily, the results of my test was negative.
I'm not pregnant.
So I'm like, "whoo!" Yea.
Thank God.
- You have no idea how much I miss Jionni right now.
Like, I just want to make sure he's okay and that he's not still upset about the other night.
- Hello? - Hey, babe.
- Hey.
- How was your way back? Horrible? - Yeah.
- I'm just, like, really sad that you left, so.
- To be honest with you, walking out was just something I had to do.
If I just sat there and watched you dance with your skirt up, then, you know, who's gonna respect me? - Really? So I have to accept the fact that you left because that happened? - Do I have to accept the fact that my girlfriend was dancing like a pig in front of me? Like, what do you want me to do? - A pig? I can't believe you just said that.
I've been crying my eyes out because you left.
- Nicole, you picked your skirt up and had your underwear on.
Who does that? - I don't know, I was drunk, and I just wanted to have sex with you.
- You made the decision to embarrass me and do something that girlfriends don't do to boyfriends that they care about.
People don't do that.
So I made a decision to leave.
- My God.
- It's that easy.
- Okay.
- Why can't you think about what I'm saying? - No, because you're hurting my feelings.
I don't even know why I don't even know why we're together right now, because I'm not happy.
I don't deserve this, okay? I don't.
- Okay, and I deserve to fly across the country and have my girlfriend humiliate me? Whatever.
You're making me feel really low.
I have I don't want to talk right now.
You're making me feel really upset.
- No, we're gonna talk this over.
- No, I don't want to talk to you because you're like, "you shouldn't have done that," blah, blah, blah.
You make me feel like a bad person.
Stop, because you're making me really depressed.
This whole time, I'm depressed because of you.
And I'm not being myself.
So thank you.
- So why are you with me? - I don't know.
I'm asking myself that question right now.
Just stop.
- What do you mean, you're not being yourself? You're drunk seven days a week, you're hooking up with girls, and you're dancing in your underwear.
That's not you? - That was so mean.
- I'm how are you not being yourself? I don't get it.
What am I doing to you that's not making you be yourself? - I don't want to talk to you right now.
And I'm not gonna call you for a few days.
I need a break from you.
I don't want to talk to you.
- Excuse me? - I'm sorry.
I don't want to talk to you.
- That's your decision.
- Yeah, it is my decision.
You should've never said that before.
Good job.
- Said what? Said what? - My God.
What am I gonna do? Like, I love this kid to death, but the fact that he's doing this to me I just don't get it.
Don't answer it.
I'm over that.
- I will take care of you like you've never been taken care of before.
I can give you I'd give you whatever you wanted.
I love you.
I do.
- I don't feel like Mike's at all in love with Nicole.
He's just trying to up someone's relationship and get away with it.
- I don't think I'm wrong.
I'm not wrong, right? 'Cause I'm questioning what I just did.
- For once, you're not wrong.
I'm extremely proud of Nicole for sticking up for herself.
She doesn't deserve this.
- He's like, "you should just respect the fact" "that because you lifted up your skirt, I left because I have respect for myself.
" - What? - That's up.
I feel like Ron would leave and pull some.
- One - But I - one, I wouldn't have let Sam leave the house in the outfit that you wore.
That's number one.
- Why? Her outfit was hot.
- Yeah, but he didn't think it was hot.
- Do you like this? - Change your outfit.
Do you like it? High-five to that one.
- Okay, so it's my fault that I try to be hot.
If you want to look slutty one night when your boyfriend's here, you look slutty.
You know why? Because you want to have sex with him, obvi.
- But that's she's doing her.
She's doing what she always does.
- This is Nicole.
- You shouldn't have to change for any man.
You find a man that will accept you.
- He came to Jersey house.
And if he didn't like it then, he shouldn't have came to Italy and pulled what he just did.
- Exactly.
- This guy maybe isn't the best thing for Nicole.
He's trying to change her.
And I do not like that you're so depressed like this.
This isn't you.
And it kills me.
- This isn't me.
I can't be in Italy anymore.
I need to get nails done, and I need to shop and get Jersey attire, and I just need to go to karma.
I swear to God, if I went to karma tonight, I would feel fine.
My God! I have an amazing idea.
Pauly, you have your dj equipment.
You can dj here.
We get alcohol.
And we just pretend this is karma right now.
- I'm down.
- Hh.
- So let's do it! , Pauly, get your.
- Wait, should we get dressed as if we're going to karma? - Yes! Pretend we're going to karma right now.
- That's dope.
Let's do it.
Let's all get fresh to death, and let's bring karma to the living room, and I'm gonna be the dj.
This is awesome! - Yeaaaaa! - Yeah, look at the garbage.
- Looks like karma, actually.
- It does.
- Let's keep it.
- This is awesome.
This is the best day of my life right here.
- Give me my best Jersey outfit.
- Yo, I need the headband.
- Okay, buddy.
- That's a Snooki for ya.
- We're going to karma! - What the hell are you - I'm practicing, bro.
Get out! - You wearing - don't come in the bathroom when I'm practicing.
- You were in the bathroom for a hour, dude.
- You know I don't like it, bro.
- You were in the bathroom for a hour.
I gotta do my eyebrows.
- Don't come here when I'm trying to - I'm doing my eyebrows.
- You know I get embarrassed.
- You got my tweezers? - I told you, my sister took your tweezers.
The.
- Where's Sammi? Car's here.
- We're ready.
Let's go to karma.
- Yeah, babe.
- Yeaaaa! - Let's go.
Coming in? - karma! - Yeah! - Hey, dj, I love you! - Mike is definitely doing the same thing as he does in Jersey.
Just sits in the corner with his glasses on and looks like the biggest creep ever.
- Hey, you're really sexy.
- Thank you.
- Get it! - I love you, dj Pauly.
My God.
- I'm good, I'm good.
- Take my shoe off.
- Ew.
- Don't be a perv.
This gives you creeps.
- You love it.
- What? - I was watching you, Mike.
- Now that Jionni's on the outs right now with Nicole, she's definitely flirting right now with me.
And I can see it in her eyes, and I'm just playing like, you know, like a cool little cat.
All night! - yea! - yea! - Yeah, buddy.
- this is the best day of my life.
- Let's go smoke.
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
Don't touch.
- Snooki, girl, why don't you just, like, break up with your boyfriend and let me rock that world, girl? - Ew! - I can take care of her better than anybody else can.
- That was mean.
You wouldn't want Jionni saying that about you.
- Jionni can't take care of her like I can.
- I don't feel like Mike's at all in love with Nicole.
He is just trying to up someone's relationship and get away with it.
- I'd give you whatever you wanted.
You have no idea.
- I just want to know, why Nicole? - Because she gets me.
She calls me, and I do I not text you back within a second? - 'Cause I'm worried about you.
- And I'm worried about and I'm I'm so happy when you call me.
Like, I care about you.
- You're being a crazy person, and that's it.
- Stop it.
You care about me.
I can tell you do.
- Obvi, I love you as a friend.
But, like - why do we hook up all the time? - Mike.
- I will be quiet.
I won't say anything.
- Shut up.
- I won't say anything.
- I know what happened.
- I love you.
- You know what happened, so shut up.
- And I love you.
I do.
So when Nicole was me, right, watching her girlfriend get, right? - Are you kidding me right now? - No, I'm serious.
- You're talking about my best friend giving you? - Somebody talk to well, she did that.
- I know what happened.
- I love you.
- You know what happened, so shut up.
- And I love you.
I do.
- You love me as a good friend, like I love you as a good friend.
That's it, you know? - But we've hooked up before, though.
- Mike.
- Nicole sort of denied that me and her had hooked up.
Um, and I don't like to be made out to be a liar.
We've hooked up a couple times.
So, like, I care about you.
- In l.
A.
, and that's it.
- We've hooked up in l.
A.
, too.
I know you have a boyfriend, but I would I would date you if you didn't have a boyfriend.
- Mike's saying that he's madly in love with Nicole and wants to treat her like gold and blah, blah, blah, and I just want to vomit hearing this.
Well, I'm gonna get out of this convo.
- For real, if you didn't have a boyfriend, I would take care of you.
I don't want to be honest, between me and you, I just don't like the way that your guy treats you, either.
I mean, you know.
- Nobody does.
- Between me and you, the other people are like, "yo, Mike, kick him in the head.
Kick him in the head.
" Um, and between me and you, I was like, "no, he's a nice kid.
He's a nice kid.
" But he doesn't treat you good.
He doesn't.
And I don't like it.
- Kick who in the head? - Jionni.
- Somebody told you to kick him in the head? - Yeah.
- Who? - Ronnie.
Ronnie's like, "yo, Mike.
" I understand what you gotta do tonight.
" I was like, "yo, for real?" He's like, "yo, protect yourself.
" - Ron, this kid's giving me looks, dawg.
- Do what you gotta do.
- All the guys were like, "kick him when you get out the car.
" - I'm so pissed off because I thought I could trust everybody in the house.
And the fact that the boys are talking, it's not okay.
It's like you all are talking behind my back.
Like, really? Stop.
- Did you get a lighter yet? 'Cause they said there's one out here.
- All right.
- Please sit down just for one second.
- No.
No.
No.
- You guys leaving? - Get outta here.
- Yeah.
- Ron.
Ron, come here.
- Come right now.
Just sit here.
'Cause I'm really pissed off right now.
- At me? - Sit.
I'm sitting with Mike, and Mike is saying, you know, "Jionni and Nicole are fighting," whatever.
And you go to Mike, "do what you gotta do.
" - Yes.
So he was prepared to fight the whole night.
- Wait, what? - Because of you.
- Everyone's telling Mike to fight Jionni.
- Yep.
- I wanna ask you - yes, he wanted to fight Jionni, yes.
I told him, "do what you gotta do.
" What am I supposed to - "do what you gotta do," what? - To make yourself feel better.
How much - so you wanted to kick him in the face.
And everybody else is saying, "just kick him in the face.
" - How do I have to get involved in that, Snooki? Like, I'm done with it.
I'm not dealing with this bull- no more.
Mike just wants to stir the pot.
And then I get worked into this drama that I don't need.
I want to worry about myself at this point.
I can help everyone else out as much as I can.
- I understand.
- But If that starts to affect my life, I can't do it, schnook.
- Don't even with me right now.
- Come here, come here, come here.
- Don't even with me right now.
- Come here.
I don't want to yell.
I don't wanna scream.
I don't wanna scream at you.
I don't wanna yell at you.
- Don't.
- So come here.
Gimme a hug.
I don't want to I don't want to yell at you.
- Just stop.
- I don't wanna scream at you.
Look at me.
Relax.
- I don't know what the to do right now.
I feel like nobody has my back.
This is probably the worst I've ever felt living with my roommates.
I'll just go to bed and sleep until I leave.
- That was so unnecessary.
- Why do you do that? - But that's him, and I accept it.
- No.
- He does it to everybody.
- Yeah, yeah, Mike.
You're like a rat.
- It's not like I did did it, like, intentional.
It was a conversation.
A drunk conversation.
- But you're gonna lose Nicole as a friend.
- No, I won't.
- She's gonna look at it like - no, I won't.
None of us will.
- You really don't think you won't? - No.
- She will choose Jionni over anybody.
- So when Nicole was me, right, watching her girlfriend get, right - are you kidding me right now? - No, I'm serious.
- And you expect her to be your friend? - No, I'm serious.
- Why are you her friend if you're, like, saying like that? - No, no, no.
You're saying he chose him or no, no, no.
There's no such thing.
You expect her to be your friend? - Obviously, she chose somebody else that night.
- You said something like that, but you want to be her friend? - You're you're telling me, "oh, he chose somebody.
" No, no, no.
No, no, no.
- You're talking about my best friend giving you? - Somebody talk to well, she did that.
- So when Nicole was me, right, watching her girlfriend get, right - are you kidding me right now? - No, I'm serious.
- And you expect her to be your friend? You're talking about my best friend giving you? - Well, she did that.
- You just saying what you just said is just it's like, "what the?" Like, why would you say that? - I'm mortified.
Like, I am so mortified at how disgusting this guy is right now.
Like, Mike, how does that make you look? You idiot.
Like, you're an ass-.
- Yeah, I've had enough of this, dude.
I'm done.
I'm not arguing.
I'm not fighting with nobody.
- I love this time of year.
- Me, too.
It's my favorite.
- Geez.
- I need.
I'm gonna eat something.
Ew, this sucks balls.
Hey, do you want to cuddle? - -mm.
- You're such a bad time.
- Can we squeeze in for two seconds? - You don't do that for me.
I'm jealous.
- I'll squeeze in with Vinny.
You go with Pauly.
- Okay.
- Vin, can I squeeze in with you for two seconds? Are you being a poop? - Stop being a wing woman for deena.
I can't believe it.
I'm laying in bed.
Snooki comes in.
I'm single.
So what am I gonna do, Throw her out of the room? No.
- Could you cuddle without being a freak? - Can I cuddle without being a freak? - -hmm.
- What does that mean, like get a boner? - Happens.
- I wanna go to sleep now.
- No, we're cuddling.
- No, no, no.
Beds are too small in here.
- I won't take up space.
- No.
Go to your bed.
Come on.
Deena wants to sleep in my bed tonight.
I'm not trying to smush deena.
Not gonna happen.
Go to your bed.
- Fine.
I tried to tonight.
I really did.
But he snuggled with me for about, like, five, ten minutes, so, like, I guess that's something.
- I want you to me.
- Are you drunk? - Kiss me.
- Okay.
- there's a lot of stuff going on in that bed right now.
I see the blanket moving up and down.
I see Snooki's head popping up for air.
We all know what's going down.
- what the just happened? What did you just do? - Snooki, she's making me look like a liar, so I gave my boy unit Jionni's number, said, "call him up, and tell him what happened.
" - Stop getting in my business, you mother.
You.
- Mike - Mike, I'm not kidding! - Whoa! - By you doing that with Vinny, no offense, the damage is done.
- She's being the worst best friend this whole time, the worst.
- If I am your best friend, why can't you have someone just tell you the truth? - Actually, you're not anymore.
I don't need this.
I need you.
Honestly, I have to tell you something, and you're never gonna talk to me again.
What did you do?