Las Vegas s04e09 Episode Script
Wines and Misdemeanors
Okay, Mrs.
Finnegan.
The Sudoku tournament is in the Windsor Ballroom, which is right over here.
Will I make it? Oh, I sure hope so.
It's in 35 minutes.
Twenty bucks says she misses the first round.
This is Mike.
What's up? Hey, you.
Hey.
Early birthday presents? Just a little shopping in between shifts.
Oh, you finally found a pair of shoes in Nevada you don't already own, huh? What do we have here? The Frisky Ferret? Uh-huh.
Thought we could try it later on on my Stiff neck? Exactly.
And maybe on your Hey.
What you got in the bag, Delinda? Girl stuff.
Oh.
Uh Listen, we need to head down to the wine cellar.
There's a little situation.
Okay.
We pulled out the old storage unit and found a door.
Yeah.
Looks like somebody's secret stash.
The palettes are labeled "Mancuso.
" Monica's private stash? Nice! Yeah, but it's not even the good stuff.
Look at this.
We got, like, wine coolers, cheap whiskey You ever tried that one? Oh, yeah.
High school.
I think this stuff actually doubles as drain cleaner.
We're probably gonna need another day to finish up here.
We'll have to push back that opening.
Oh, Ed's not going to be happy about that.
He's got that billionaire Chen coming in for the auction.
He's supposed to be a huge wine freak.
Hey, check out this label.
No! Oh! What sort of moron throws a bottle of wine like that? Well, who screams like a little girl like that? This is Phillip Corbin.
He's our new sommelier.
Mr.
Corbin here has won the James Beard Award for the last five years.
Every restaurant in New York, as well as all of Europe, wanted him, but he decided to come to the Montecito.
Which I'm already beginning to regret.
This, Phillip, is Danny.
Head of That was a 1978 Domaine de Vautour Montrachet.
What? What, what, what? It's a bottle of wine.
My bad.
I mean, how much can that cost, really? $30,000.
I mean, if you can find a bottle.
Glad I didn't throw it.
I'll call maintenance and make sure they clean this all up.
You're about that close to calling the unemployment office.
And I'm not cleaning all that up.
Because I'm saving this label.
Because thanks to you, that might be as close as I ever get to trying a $30,000 bottle of wine.
You find that humorous? Mmm-mmm.
No.
Actually, that must have been an extra bottle.
There are still two cases of the Vautour here.
That's $600,000.
More! This is an incredibly rare, much sought-after Montrachet.
Tight, surprisingly youthful, with a lush body and a faint nutty flavor at the front of the mouth.
Do you drink it or date it? Would you shut up? I guess Monica had no idea what she had down here.
Actually, if you're trying to raise the profile of the Montecito with high-end clientele like Larry Chen Yeah? adding this wine to your auction would definitely generate the kind of publicity you're looking for.
Yeah.
That's good.
PHILLIP: Yeah.
And there's enough for you to maybe take a couple of bottles for yourself.
Actually, Danny, the value goes down when you break up the case.
Therefore, I'll have to make do with this label, Danny.
Thank you very much.
Now, I want you to get two guys and post them out there till we get surveillance cameras in here.
Which is something you should have done.
Okay.
Got it.
MIKE: It's a pleasure to meet you, Phillip.
Your reputation precedes you.
I'm a bit of an oenophile myself.
Oenophile? I'm sorry, Danny.
That means lover of wine.
I know what it means.
It's just a stupid sounding word.
Nice catch.
$30,000 for a bottle of wine? I don't get it.
I mean, I've had expensive wine.
It's not like you can really tell the difference.
It's not your thing.
You're a beer guy.
But I'm sure Daddy wasn't as mad as you think.
You know that look he gets when he wants to tear you apart with his bare hands? I wish that he'd given me that look.
This was worse.
And what is with this Phillip guy? Who calls themselves Phillip? "Hello, Phillip.
" "Phillip.
" Why not just Phil? I think I know what would ease all this tension.
What? Oh! Oh.
I'll see you at home.
Okay, I'll finish my rounds and I'll meet you there.
Hello.
Isn't that great? What? Those two elderly gentlemen.
They just tipped their hats to me.
Why can't younger men be more like that? If I was rocking my lid, I'd tip it.
I was taught it's not polite to wear hats indoors.
Oh, I don't mean you or Danny.
You two, you're different than most guys.
It seems like there's an inverse ratio of age to chivalry in most men.
I've actually had three seniors get down on one knee and propose to me since the retirees' convention began.
Were they able to get up again? Older men know how to make a woman feel special.
And I can see why so many younger women end up with much older guys.
Yeah, huge bank accounts and shorter life expectancies.
Ah.
Kidding.
No problem, Don.
Consider it done.
What happened to your lip? I was tasting champagne with my whale, Garth, and he popped me in the face with the cork.
Ouch! For two million in play, he can hit me over the head with it if he wants to.
Hey, listen.
Don Dimmick has a problem down at the pool.
I got seven whales looking for me.
No can do.
He's at Bella Petto.
Like I said, I'm busy, but maybe I can take a couple minutes to help a sister out.
Look, I'm not the type of guy who takes offense easily, but I can't enjoy myself with that woman sitting in front of me.
Either she goes or I'm checking out.
How about I set you up in that cabana away from her? No charge.
Uh-uh.
This is my lucky spot.
Excuse me, miss.
Hello! Okay! I just want to let you know that we appreciate your business.
And the Montecito would like to offer you your own private cabana for use during your stay.
It's right over there in that far corner.
Thank you very much.
I would love to.
Oh, great.
It's right over there.
What a nice young man! Well, thank you.
You remind me of my sons.
I have five.
That many? MIKE: I never would have guessed.
Baby, I'm home.
Sorry I'm late, I had to 86 a couple of card cheats.
But I'm here now.
I made a reservation, you gotta come.
Wait.
What the Where's the Frisky Ferret? I thought we were Oh, honey, I already did.
What? You were late! Let's go.
I'm starving.
I have $750,000.
Do I hear 800,000? Thank you, Mr.
Chen.
AUCTIONEER: Do I hear 850? Oh, Mr.
and Mrs.
Silvano.
How are you? Nice that you could make it.
Let me introduce you Sounds like a double-kiss.
I haven't seen the two of you Ass.
since the brunello tasting at Castello Banfi I like him.
He recommended a wine to me earlier that was better than sex.
I gotta go.
Let me know how it goes.
What do you mean, better than sex? Better than sex with who? It's just an expression, Danny.
Looking good, Mike! Wow, she looked happy.
Must've been quite a night.
Yeah, I wouldn't know.
She played by herself.
AUCTIONEER: I have 900,000.
Without you? You know, with her little Frisky Ferret.
Oh.
You gotta be careful with that.
Why? Forget it.
It's none of my business.
I've already heard more than I need to know.
No, no.
Say it.
All I'm saying is the mule used to plow the field, but then the tractor came in and they put the mule out to pasture.
That's not gonna happen, Mike.
I have $950,000.
Yeah.
Forget it.
I'm sure you got nothing to worry about.
I don't.
I'm gonna head up to the front.
I have no worries.
$1 million! Going once Going twice Sold to Mr.
Chen for $1 million! Mr.
Chen.
Congratulations.
Listen, I have some journalists here.
Would you mind terribly Oh.
Sure.
It might make a better picture if we opened a bottle.
Oh! We'd be honored.
This way, please.
Mr.
Deline, I'd be delighted if you had the first taste.
Really? Wonderful.
Thank you.
Ed, the connoisseur.
How much for a sip? Wow! It's unbelievable.
Sublime.
What I was looking for.
Exhibiting all the qualities of a world-class Montrachet.
Cheers.
Cheers.
This is the Vautour? Excuse me? It's not what I expected.
With all due respect, Mr.
Chen, the '78 Domaine de Vautour is an extremely rare vintage.
Have you had the pleasure of trying it before? No.
But I've read quite a bit about it and I expected a hint of baking spice.
Mmm.
Reading is not the same as tasting, Mr.
Chen.
I have, on several occasions, had the opportunity to sample the Vautour.
May I? Mr.
Chen, let me assure you, this is an unparalleled Vautour.
PHILLIP: I'd stake my reputation on it.
I'll back him up with mine.
Of course.
We have a problem.
What? Ed just staked his reputation on $1 million worth of fake wine.
I just don't see how that could possibly be, Mike.
Come on.
You didn't even taste the wine.
Don't need to.
These labels are all wrong.
See? It looks perfect.
Too perfect.
In '78, this label would've been printed on a letter press.
There'd be a slight bleed around the edges of the characters.
These have sharp edges.
No fuzziness.
Like they were produced on a laser printer.
Probably recently.
So Monica got scammed? She bought a wine that was just made to look like the good stuff.
Mmm-hmm.
Ed's whale just paid $1 million for it.
How can a dead woman cause so many problems? I'll talk to Ed and see what he wants to do.
Sure, whatever it is, with all the publicity, he's gonna want to keep it on the down-low.
Mike Cannon.
Whoa Oh, oh, oh On it.
You know what? Why don't I get on this wine thing, and you handle this situation at Bella Petto.
Apparently, there's a disturbance That sounds titillating, but I know that you're staying abreast of that situation.
You'll be fine.
Just don't let your spirits sag.
Mmm Rich.
So you know Yeah.
I saw the whole thing with the old lady.
Yeah, okay.
Though surveillance cameras aren't toys, Danny! You should be concerned with a person's inner beauty.
with Ed before.
Trust me.
Hey, Sam.
Oh, excuse me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Where's Delinda? My whale needs the booth bottle service at Mystique.
I don't know where she is.
Call her.
What happened? Nothing.
I got hit.
Where is she? I've been calling her.
She hasn't answered.
You know, she seems like she's really hard to get ahold of ever since she got that Frisky Ferret.
She told you about that? Of course.
The Frisky Ferret used to be my favorite till I traded up.
Traded up? To the Angry Anaconda.
Mmm.
You know what? I'm not even worried about it.
'Cause it's not like a little sex toy's ever gonna replace the real thing.
Oh.
Okay, good.
All right.
Well, you keep telling yourself that.
I've gotta find Ed.
Oh! Great.
Listen.
Could you drop this back in his office for me? It's his new cellar scrapbook or something.
One of my whales wanted to look at that Montrachet label.
This must be the label from Ed's broken bottle.
Okay, Sherlock.
Catch you later.
I mean, you gotta do something, Mike.
I've had four customers walk away already.
And I can't say I blame them.
If I wanted to see my grandma topless, I'd go with her to get her mammogram.
Come on.
She's just one sweet little old lady.
Actually, there are seven.
And her friends are up at the bar every five minutes doing shots.
Shots? Wait a minute.
Did you just say friends? Yeah.
Hi, darling.
See you later.
I have two pair, and queens are high.
Mrs.
Finnegan? Oh, howdy-do! Hi.
Hello, again.
Oh, that's okay.
Don't get up.
Oh, it is very sweet of you to stop by and check up on us.
We're having a wonderful time.
Yes, we are.
Oh, great.
That's exactly what we want here at the Montecito.
Yeah.
You know what, ladies? I'm going to hook you up with a private cabana boy to bring your cocktails from now on.
That way you don't have to interrupt your game to go to the bar.
You just Oh, we don't mind.
And frankly, I could use the exercise.
Oh, I insist.
I insist.
In fact, I'll send someone over right away.
Well, if you insist Yes.
You know, if you're going to go to all that trouble, do you think you could get us that tight-bunned little Latino boy with the khaki shorts and the big package? Yes, please! Could you? I'll see what I can do.
This just isn't right.
I agree with Abraham Lincoln.
It's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years.
But nobody wants to see an elderly lady topless, right? I don't know.
I saw a video once Just stop now, Mitch.
Hey.
Would you scan this for me? Put it up there, please? So that mule and tractor business Mmm.
You got any personal experience with that? Me? Yeah.
Oh, I don't want to brag, but I'm like a cross between a pneumatic drill and the Energizer Bunny.
So Did I hit a nerve with that? Here we go.
Check this out.
Look familiar? Yeah.
It's Mr.
Chen's wine.
Wrong.
Mr.
Chen's wine is still down in the cellar.
This is Ed's label from yesterday.
Mitch, will you blow this up, please? Now zoom in on the "T".
Here we go.
One more.
Check that out.
Look at that bleed.
That baby's the real deal.
Exactly.
And the fake labels look like this.
That's a laser printer.
Right.
So the wine was swapped for the forgery after it got into our cellar.
Not swapped.
It was stolen.
Unless that was the only authentic bottle.
What are the odds that I grabbed the only real '78 yesterday? Slim to none.
And slim just hopped a bus for Bakersfield.
Bakersfield? I have a couple of very old aunts in Bakersfield.
Thanks, Mitch.
I think you'll find that this Cab far exceeds the Medoc that's currently on your wine list.
You'll immediately note those ripe cassis flavors, and almost Ed? Ed.
full-bodied palate.
Tannins are firm.
Mmm-hmm Strong finish of blackcurrant and What is it? Mint? Exactly.
But late summer, Mediterranean-basin mint.
With just a flourish of hibiscus.
Exactly.
Danny, you gotta try this.
I need to talk to you.
Try it.
That's fine.
Fine? Hair is fine.
What do you mean, fine? Wet, grapey Congratulations.
You just described a juice box.
But a very robust, sort of old-winey juice box.
Okay, what's up? What's up? I need to talk to you.
Okay.
We just got hit for a million.
The cages? The wine cellar.
All right.
This is yesterday morning after we find the wine.
The real '78 is still in the cellar.
You just left.
There's me leaving.
See Mike and Phillip leaving.
And two security guards like you told me to get.
Construction workers Wait.
What about those guys? Security checked them every time.
What else you got? Uh What else? What else, what else? Wait a minute.
I thought we said no tours till the surveillance was in.
Looks like Sam did it anyway.
There's one tour.
There's another tour.
Same construction guys.
There's Sam giving another tour.
Wait.
Hang on a second.
Look at the way this guy's holding his arm.
Like there's a bottle under there.
That's one bottle.
I'm looking for two cases.
Maybe he took them out one at a time.
Couldn't have.
He was only in there once.
Well, the only other time wine leaves the cellar is when Phillip delivers some up to Wolfgang's.
Follow him.
I do.
The camera's on him the whole time.
He's the only one who had access.
Danny, I brought the guy here.
I hired a crook? I didn't do my homework? What else we got? Nothing.
MIKE: By the time it gets to the auction, the wine's already been switched for the fake.
I got a good idea.
Listen up.
Here's what we do.
We get all of our guests to leave their valuables at the curb.
You see, this way, we wouldn't have to inconvenience the criminals, so they actually have to come into the Montecito to rip us off.
No? We're all over it.
Yeah.
Oh, boys.
Chen's played over $3.
5 million in the last 18 hours.
I don't want to give him a reason not to come back.
So I would like it if you guys were to find out who took the stuff.
And I would like it even more if you had it back here by the time he checks out.
Got it.
Absolutely.
Oh, one more thing.
I'm giving interviews all afternoon on how wonderful our little auction went.
Get where I'm going? Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
I'm telling you, it's Phillip.
How else do you explain why this so-called expert didn't ID an obvious fake at the auction? Only way into the cellar is through the door.
Or the air ducts.
Bella Petto.
It can wait.
And he's not a so-called expert, Danny.
Phillip Corbin is one of the top sommeliers in the country.
Exactly.
He knows who all the high-end collectors are.
He's in a perfect position to broker a million dollars in hot wine.
It could be a whale.
Bid up the wine to increase the value, knowing the winner's getting the fake and then resell the good stuff at top of market.
I'll look into Mackenzie, then we'll check those air ducts.
All right.
Mike here.
No! I didn't know you could do that at that age.
They're just old.
They're not dead.
They can almost do everything we can do.
Yes, even sex.
A lot of women have sex into their eighties.
Well, that's just depressing, actually.
In my twenties I can barely have sex.
I mean, I can.
It's just It's so hard to find a decent guy.
And then you have to pretend like you want to wait so he doesn't think you're a slut.
I never waited, and no one ever thought I was Besides, you don't have to wait till you're in a relationship.
Have you ever heard of the Frisky Ferret? Oh, I'm guessing a battery-powered device.
More like a battery-powered endless source of pleasure.
That good, huh? Better.
Ooh! I'll get you the catalogue.
So what's up? Oh! Don Don Dimmick says you didn't fix the problem.
To fix the problem, I would have to reverse the gravitational forces of the Earth.
What's that? I believe it's called water aerobics.
Go make that stop.
I've already done everything I can think of.
Looks like a lot of fun, huh? Oh, no.
What is she going to do? Oh, my goodness.
Excuse me, ladies.
I hate to interrupt your exercise, but What is that? Oh! Out! Out! I'm sorry.
How disgusting.
I can't believe it.
Thank you very much, dear.
Oh, you're so welcome.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
You been watching Caddyshack? Worked, didn't it? Hey, Sam.
I need to ask you a question.
Ask away.
You took a Garth Mackenzie and his wife on a tour of the wine cellar yesterday? Mmm-hmm? He left with a bottle tucked in his jacket.
Yeah.
I gave it to him.
He wanted to surprise his wife with the champagne they drank on their first date.
Why? Oh, nothing.
Just something we caught on surveillance.
Hey, listen.
I hope I didn't give you the wrong impression.
You know, with the whole Frisky Ferret thing.
I'm sure that it's more than enough for Delinda.
It is.
And then some.
This access is reinforced.
No sign of tampering.
So the had to take the wine through the door.
I have a theory.
About the wine? Mmm-mmm.
You and Delinda.
Forget it.
Not a big deal.
Good.
Last thing I want to do is torpedo a man's mojo.
Because once that happens, what was once a mighty oak can shrink down to a withered sapling.
Where do you get your sex info? The Farmer's Almanac? Come on.
Focus.
How did he do this without ending up on camera? You still think it was Phillip? Yeah.
I think it was Phillip.
If I'd have stolen the wine, Danny, why would I come down here to tell you it wasn't the '78? Okay, this is awkward.
How do I know that's why you came down here? Listen, I know you don't like me, but I would appreciate it if you would hear me out.
Fine.
I can't let Chen leave with a wine that's not what he thinks it is.
I've staked my reputation on it.
And so did Ed.
And eventually somebody will tell Chen the truth.
Then why did you say it was the wine when you knew that it wasn't? We're trying to promote the Montecito as a world-class oenophile destination.
How would it look if Ed had made a mistake like that? I had to back him up.
Besides, I didn't to embarrass the old man.
He's got a real passion for wine, but his palate isn't as educated as he thinks it is.
Okay.
We've heard you out.
Wait.
Oh, no.
You don't have to apologize.
I'm not apologizing.
Turn around.
What? What is it? Paint? And plaster.
This is a $4,000 Brioni suit! They painted before the float coat was set.
And they didn't apply a finish layer.
These guys were obviously in some kind of a hurry.
The security was at the door.
If they carried out two cases, our guys would have caught it.
Or we would have seen it on surveillance.
Unless they carried it out one bottle at a time.
You don't carry a thermos with you every time you come and go.
And these guys did.
Proportions look about right.
Yeah, Tom and Jack Grabowski.
They're brothers.
No, sibling brothers.
Not "brother" brothers.
You subcontracted to them in October.
I thought you might know where we could find them.
Hey, Mike.
Listen.
I'll call you back.
Thanks.
My buddy at the DMV just got a license application from a dealership in North Vegas.
Tom Grabowski's name on it.
Is he still at the dealership? No.
But the new truck he just bought has GPS.
Thought we could track him with this.
Let's go.
Oh.
Bella Petto? Taken care of.
Cathy Burson.
Hey, Cathy.
What's up? Actually it was just a candy bar.
Legal action? You know what? Ed and I can handle this.
Hey, Mitch, will you call down the Escalade for me? MITCH: Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I understand.
I'll take care of it.
Mike, what the hell Hi.
Mrs.
Gruder.
Mrs.
Finnegan.
It is really nice to see you two again.
Sam, apparently Mrs.
Finnegan overheard a somewhat disturbing conversation down at the pool.
And then Mrs.
Finnegan relayed that conversation to Mrs.
Gruder, who has some concerns.
The towel boy who fished the floating item out of the pool Mmm-hmm? seemed to think it wasn't waste material at all.
It was a candy bar.
What? You're kidding! I mean I don't even I don't know what to say about that Right, and Mrs.
Gruder contacted legal, because she is concerned that perhaps someone planted that candy bar in the pool.
To get us to leave, because we don't look like all those young, silicone-filled hussies you've got floating around down there.
That's age discrimination.
That is.
You are correct.
MIKE: Yeah.
I can certainly understand why you would feel so disturbed to imagine that someone would do something that's That's disgusting.
It disgusts me.
So you don't mind if we all go back down to Bella Petto and Of course we don't mind.
Not at all.
In fact, I would be upset if you didn't go back.
MIKE: Yeah.
Let me get that door for you.
The door! Yes.
Mike is gonna get that.
There you go.
I'll race you! He's so He's so funny.
So, if you're looking for something fresh to promote at Mystique that has the cachet of champagne, this rosé gives you that name recognition with a youthful pop of color.
Mmm.
I like it.
But maybe I'd better try just a smidgen more.
Hey! What's up? Hey.
You.
Let's go.
You're coming with me and Ed.
Actually, I'm gonna need another minute.
That wasn't a question.
Let's go.
Come on.
Excuse me.
Hey.
What's up? We're headed out to North Vegas.
Mmm.
Sorry I didn't make it home last night.
That's okay.
I kept busy.
Listen, it's my job to keep my clients happy and they don't want these women at the topless pool.
We could shut down Bella Petto.
What? For a few hours.
Maybe the ladies won't come back.
I'm not asking Don Dimmick to leave the pool! Hey, guys.
He played half a million last night.
He deserves to rest and look at some firm melons.
What's going on? All right.
The retirees' convention ends tonight.
We're trying to figure out a way to get Mrs.
Gruder and her friends out of Bella Petto until tomorrow.
I know.
It's so tough to figure it out.
Bingo or shuffleboard? Bingo? Uh-uh.
Like I told Mary, these women may be old, but they're still alive.
All right.
So do you have an idea? This is definitely not how I pictured spending my afternoon.
I knew Thunder From Down Under would do the trick.
This is the best part.
There is a defibrillator in the house, right? Thank you so much for getting them, Mary.
How'd you convince them to do a private show? They don't do a matinee so the guys just did it as, like, a personal favor to me.
What? I'm a fan of the show.
A big tipper.
So are a couple of these guys.
MARGIE: Oh, you are gorgeous.
I'm out.
He's threatened.
Totally.
There's two brand-new trucks in the driveway.
My guess is they unloaded the wine already.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's go in.
Wait.
Wait.
Go inside? Isn't that a little dangerous? Why did we bring this guy? To ID the wine.
You think you could actually get it right this time? That wine we trying was an extremely high-quality vintage.
Even the most educated, discerning, sophisticated of palates like yours could have been fooled.
Okay.
Let's go.
He's the boss.
Not bad, huh? I'd rather have the cash.
Come on.
We had to keep one to try it.
Besides, this hooch goes good with the coleslaw.
Thanks.
Danny.
Hey! What are you doing here? You know, just kicking it.
Checking out your new grill.
What'd this thing set you back? Two, three grand? Four, two.
Forty Wow.
What, did you guys come into some money recently, or I'm telling you.
We sold the rest of the wine.
We just kept the one bottle for ourselves.
It's empty.
All right.
I'll tell you how we'll handle this.
You take us to the guy that, you know, you sold the wine to and we will use your money to buy it back.
But I don't have it all.
All right.
Then I guess we'll just let the cops take care of this.
All right! All right! We'll work this out.
Yeah, I thought you would.
He deals the good stuff out of the back.
Get him out of here.
Uh I'm looking for a specialty item.
Fat? Midget? Donkey? A '78 Montrachet.
No offense, but you don't look the kind of guy who could appreciate a '78 Montrachet.
Yeah, I was thinking the same about you and deodorant.
Here's what you paid for the wine.
We'll make a little exchange.
I get the wine, you take the money.
Problem is, the price has gone up.
Really? Mmm-hmm.
Here's the deal, you give me the wine, and I won't tear your throat out.
Sold.
Get yourself a napkin, will you? Slob.
I heard you kept Phillip from getting his ass kicked.
That mean you're coming around? Just doing my job.
All right.
But he's not going anywhere any time soon.
So you might as well get used to him being here.
Here we go.
Mr.
Chen, it was nice spending time with you, and we hope to see you here again soon.
Michael will escort you to the airport, of course, along with your wine.
How thoughtful.
Do say goodbye to Mr.
Corbin for me.
I know he meant to see you off, but I guess he got held up somewhere.
I would just like to apologize again for what happened at Bella Petto.
I've always felt that the soul only ripens with experience.
Like fine wine.
It was a pleasure.
Mr.
Deline, you've been terribly generous.
I would like to give you one of these.
Oh, that's just not necessary.
I insist.
Take it.
Well, in that case, I guess, sure.
Thank you so much.
My pleasure.
Thanks.
How about that.
Oh, thanks again.
Cheers.
Bye.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That was really beautiful.
I know.
Want me to hold that for you, boss? Some chance.
Mr.
Chen! Mr.
Chen! Mr.
Chen! What Hey! Free for lunch? Yeah.
Good.
Come with me.
I tried to stay up until you got home last night, but I was completely spent.
Spent? Yeah.
But I slept really well.
So I thought we could figure out a way to use up all this energy.
Oh, yeah? Mmm-hmm I'll be right back.
Okay.
All right.
Delinda! We need to talk about this.
You can't just get up in the middle of I had spinach in my teeth.
What? Danny, what's going on? You didn't just suddenly develop a phobia to oral hygiene, did you? I just I thought it was the Frisky Ferret.
I thought that you were in there.
I thought that you were in there, you know Why would I do that when I have the real thing right here? Because you would rather have the tractor in your field than the mule in your Mike's an idiot.
Look, I think that we have an amazing sex life and I don't need sex toys or erotic accessories to make me happy.
I just need you.
I feel the exact same way, Danny.
Good.
So if this is about the Frisky Ferret, let's just get rid of it.
We good? Yeah.
Good.
'Cause I'd rather be here with you like this, than lying alone, half-undressed, in the middle of the day, fantasizing about you and me doing it on a picnic bench in the middle of the woods.
What do you mean? You know.
Bra, blouse, nothing else.
Except my boots.
And I'm getting a few splinters, but I kind of like it.
And any moment we might be discovered.
It's just something that gets me really excited.
But don't worry.
That's all over.
I'll be right back.
Danny!
Finnegan.
The Sudoku tournament is in the Windsor Ballroom, which is right over here.
Will I make it? Oh, I sure hope so.
It's in 35 minutes.
Twenty bucks says she misses the first round.
This is Mike.
What's up? Hey, you.
Hey.
Early birthday presents? Just a little shopping in between shifts.
Oh, you finally found a pair of shoes in Nevada you don't already own, huh? What do we have here? The Frisky Ferret? Uh-huh.
Thought we could try it later on on my Stiff neck? Exactly.
And maybe on your Hey.
What you got in the bag, Delinda? Girl stuff.
Oh.
Uh Listen, we need to head down to the wine cellar.
There's a little situation.
Okay.
We pulled out the old storage unit and found a door.
Yeah.
Looks like somebody's secret stash.
The palettes are labeled "Mancuso.
" Monica's private stash? Nice! Yeah, but it's not even the good stuff.
Look at this.
We got, like, wine coolers, cheap whiskey You ever tried that one? Oh, yeah.
High school.
I think this stuff actually doubles as drain cleaner.
We're probably gonna need another day to finish up here.
We'll have to push back that opening.
Oh, Ed's not going to be happy about that.
He's got that billionaire Chen coming in for the auction.
He's supposed to be a huge wine freak.
Hey, check out this label.
No! Oh! What sort of moron throws a bottle of wine like that? Well, who screams like a little girl like that? This is Phillip Corbin.
He's our new sommelier.
Mr.
Corbin here has won the James Beard Award for the last five years.
Every restaurant in New York, as well as all of Europe, wanted him, but he decided to come to the Montecito.
Which I'm already beginning to regret.
This, Phillip, is Danny.
Head of That was a 1978 Domaine de Vautour Montrachet.
What? What, what, what? It's a bottle of wine.
My bad.
I mean, how much can that cost, really? $30,000.
I mean, if you can find a bottle.
Glad I didn't throw it.
I'll call maintenance and make sure they clean this all up.
You're about that close to calling the unemployment office.
And I'm not cleaning all that up.
Because I'm saving this label.
Because thanks to you, that might be as close as I ever get to trying a $30,000 bottle of wine.
You find that humorous? Mmm-mmm.
No.
Actually, that must have been an extra bottle.
There are still two cases of the Vautour here.
That's $600,000.
More! This is an incredibly rare, much sought-after Montrachet.
Tight, surprisingly youthful, with a lush body and a faint nutty flavor at the front of the mouth.
Do you drink it or date it? Would you shut up? I guess Monica had no idea what she had down here.
Actually, if you're trying to raise the profile of the Montecito with high-end clientele like Larry Chen Yeah? adding this wine to your auction would definitely generate the kind of publicity you're looking for.
Yeah.
That's good.
PHILLIP: Yeah.
And there's enough for you to maybe take a couple of bottles for yourself.
Actually, Danny, the value goes down when you break up the case.
Therefore, I'll have to make do with this label, Danny.
Thank you very much.
Now, I want you to get two guys and post them out there till we get surveillance cameras in here.
Which is something you should have done.
Okay.
Got it.
MIKE: It's a pleasure to meet you, Phillip.
Your reputation precedes you.
I'm a bit of an oenophile myself.
Oenophile? I'm sorry, Danny.
That means lover of wine.
I know what it means.
It's just a stupid sounding word.
Nice catch.
$30,000 for a bottle of wine? I don't get it.
I mean, I've had expensive wine.
It's not like you can really tell the difference.
It's not your thing.
You're a beer guy.
But I'm sure Daddy wasn't as mad as you think.
You know that look he gets when he wants to tear you apart with his bare hands? I wish that he'd given me that look.
This was worse.
And what is with this Phillip guy? Who calls themselves Phillip? "Hello, Phillip.
" "Phillip.
" Why not just Phil? I think I know what would ease all this tension.
What? Oh! Oh.
I'll see you at home.
Okay, I'll finish my rounds and I'll meet you there.
Hello.
Isn't that great? What? Those two elderly gentlemen.
They just tipped their hats to me.
Why can't younger men be more like that? If I was rocking my lid, I'd tip it.
I was taught it's not polite to wear hats indoors.
Oh, I don't mean you or Danny.
You two, you're different than most guys.
It seems like there's an inverse ratio of age to chivalry in most men.
I've actually had three seniors get down on one knee and propose to me since the retirees' convention began.
Were they able to get up again? Older men know how to make a woman feel special.
And I can see why so many younger women end up with much older guys.
Yeah, huge bank accounts and shorter life expectancies.
Ah.
Kidding.
No problem, Don.
Consider it done.
What happened to your lip? I was tasting champagne with my whale, Garth, and he popped me in the face with the cork.
Ouch! For two million in play, he can hit me over the head with it if he wants to.
Hey, listen.
Don Dimmick has a problem down at the pool.
I got seven whales looking for me.
No can do.
He's at Bella Petto.
Like I said, I'm busy, but maybe I can take a couple minutes to help a sister out.
Look, I'm not the type of guy who takes offense easily, but I can't enjoy myself with that woman sitting in front of me.
Either she goes or I'm checking out.
How about I set you up in that cabana away from her? No charge.
Uh-uh.
This is my lucky spot.
Excuse me, miss.
Hello! Okay! I just want to let you know that we appreciate your business.
And the Montecito would like to offer you your own private cabana for use during your stay.
It's right over there in that far corner.
Thank you very much.
I would love to.
Oh, great.
It's right over there.
What a nice young man! Well, thank you.
You remind me of my sons.
I have five.
That many? MIKE: I never would have guessed.
Baby, I'm home.
Sorry I'm late, I had to 86 a couple of card cheats.
But I'm here now.
I made a reservation, you gotta come.
Wait.
What the Where's the Frisky Ferret? I thought we were Oh, honey, I already did.
What? You were late! Let's go.
I'm starving.
I have $750,000.
Do I hear 800,000? Thank you, Mr.
Chen.
AUCTIONEER: Do I hear 850? Oh, Mr.
and Mrs.
Silvano.
How are you? Nice that you could make it.
Let me introduce you Sounds like a double-kiss.
I haven't seen the two of you Ass.
since the brunello tasting at Castello Banfi I like him.
He recommended a wine to me earlier that was better than sex.
I gotta go.
Let me know how it goes.
What do you mean, better than sex? Better than sex with who? It's just an expression, Danny.
Looking good, Mike! Wow, she looked happy.
Must've been quite a night.
Yeah, I wouldn't know.
She played by herself.
AUCTIONEER: I have 900,000.
Without you? You know, with her little Frisky Ferret.
Oh.
You gotta be careful with that.
Why? Forget it.
It's none of my business.
I've already heard more than I need to know.
No, no.
Say it.
All I'm saying is the mule used to plow the field, but then the tractor came in and they put the mule out to pasture.
That's not gonna happen, Mike.
I have $950,000.
Yeah.
Forget it.
I'm sure you got nothing to worry about.
I don't.
I'm gonna head up to the front.
I have no worries.
$1 million! Going once Going twice Sold to Mr.
Chen for $1 million! Mr.
Chen.
Congratulations.
Listen, I have some journalists here.
Would you mind terribly Oh.
Sure.
It might make a better picture if we opened a bottle.
Oh! We'd be honored.
This way, please.
Mr.
Deline, I'd be delighted if you had the first taste.
Really? Wonderful.
Thank you.
Ed, the connoisseur.
How much for a sip? Wow! It's unbelievable.
Sublime.
What I was looking for.
Exhibiting all the qualities of a world-class Montrachet.
Cheers.
Cheers.
This is the Vautour? Excuse me? It's not what I expected.
With all due respect, Mr.
Chen, the '78 Domaine de Vautour is an extremely rare vintage.
Have you had the pleasure of trying it before? No.
But I've read quite a bit about it and I expected a hint of baking spice.
Mmm.
Reading is not the same as tasting, Mr.
Chen.
I have, on several occasions, had the opportunity to sample the Vautour.
May I? Mr.
Chen, let me assure you, this is an unparalleled Vautour.
PHILLIP: I'd stake my reputation on it.
I'll back him up with mine.
Of course.
We have a problem.
What? Ed just staked his reputation on $1 million worth of fake wine.
I just don't see how that could possibly be, Mike.
Come on.
You didn't even taste the wine.
Don't need to.
These labels are all wrong.
See? It looks perfect.
Too perfect.
In '78, this label would've been printed on a letter press.
There'd be a slight bleed around the edges of the characters.
These have sharp edges.
No fuzziness.
Like they were produced on a laser printer.
Probably recently.
So Monica got scammed? She bought a wine that was just made to look like the good stuff.
Mmm-hmm.
Ed's whale just paid $1 million for it.
How can a dead woman cause so many problems? I'll talk to Ed and see what he wants to do.
Sure, whatever it is, with all the publicity, he's gonna want to keep it on the down-low.
Mike Cannon.
Whoa Oh, oh, oh On it.
You know what? Why don't I get on this wine thing, and you handle this situation at Bella Petto.
Apparently, there's a disturbance That sounds titillating, but I know that you're staying abreast of that situation.
You'll be fine.
Just don't let your spirits sag.
Mmm Rich.
So you know Yeah.
I saw the whole thing with the old lady.
Yeah, okay.
Though surveillance cameras aren't toys, Danny! You should be concerned with a person's inner beauty.
with Ed before.
Trust me.
Hey, Sam.
Oh, excuse me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Where's Delinda? My whale needs the booth bottle service at Mystique.
I don't know where she is.
Call her.
What happened? Nothing.
I got hit.
Where is she? I've been calling her.
She hasn't answered.
You know, she seems like she's really hard to get ahold of ever since she got that Frisky Ferret.
She told you about that? Of course.
The Frisky Ferret used to be my favorite till I traded up.
Traded up? To the Angry Anaconda.
Mmm.
You know what? I'm not even worried about it.
'Cause it's not like a little sex toy's ever gonna replace the real thing.
Oh.
Okay, good.
All right.
Well, you keep telling yourself that.
I've gotta find Ed.
Oh! Great.
Listen.
Could you drop this back in his office for me? It's his new cellar scrapbook or something.
One of my whales wanted to look at that Montrachet label.
This must be the label from Ed's broken bottle.
Okay, Sherlock.
Catch you later.
I mean, you gotta do something, Mike.
I've had four customers walk away already.
And I can't say I blame them.
If I wanted to see my grandma topless, I'd go with her to get her mammogram.
Come on.
She's just one sweet little old lady.
Actually, there are seven.
And her friends are up at the bar every five minutes doing shots.
Shots? Wait a minute.
Did you just say friends? Yeah.
Hi, darling.
See you later.
I have two pair, and queens are high.
Mrs.
Finnegan? Oh, howdy-do! Hi.
Hello, again.
Oh, that's okay.
Don't get up.
Oh, it is very sweet of you to stop by and check up on us.
We're having a wonderful time.
Yes, we are.
Oh, great.
That's exactly what we want here at the Montecito.
Yeah.
You know what, ladies? I'm going to hook you up with a private cabana boy to bring your cocktails from now on.
That way you don't have to interrupt your game to go to the bar.
You just Oh, we don't mind.
And frankly, I could use the exercise.
Oh, I insist.
I insist.
In fact, I'll send someone over right away.
Well, if you insist Yes.
You know, if you're going to go to all that trouble, do you think you could get us that tight-bunned little Latino boy with the khaki shorts and the big package? Yes, please! Could you? I'll see what I can do.
This just isn't right.
I agree with Abraham Lincoln.
It's not the years in your life that count.
It's the life in your years.
But nobody wants to see an elderly lady topless, right? I don't know.
I saw a video once Just stop now, Mitch.
Hey.
Would you scan this for me? Put it up there, please? So that mule and tractor business Mmm.
You got any personal experience with that? Me? Yeah.
Oh, I don't want to brag, but I'm like a cross between a pneumatic drill and the Energizer Bunny.
So Did I hit a nerve with that? Here we go.
Check this out.
Look familiar? Yeah.
It's Mr.
Chen's wine.
Wrong.
Mr.
Chen's wine is still down in the cellar.
This is Ed's label from yesterday.
Mitch, will you blow this up, please? Now zoom in on the "T".
Here we go.
One more.
Check that out.
Look at that bleed.
That baby's the real deal.
Exactly.
And the fake labels look like this.
That's a laser printer.
Right.
So the wine was swapped for the forgery after it got into our cellar.
Not swapped.
It was stolen.
Unless that was the only authentic bottle.
What are the odds that I grabbed the only real '78 yesterday? Slim to none.
And slim just hopped a bus for Bakersfield.
Bakersfield? I have a couple of very old aunts in Bakersfield.
Thanks, Mitch.
I think you'll find that this Cab far exceeds the Medoc that's currently on your wine list.
You'll immediately note those ripe cassis flavors, and almost Ed? Ed.
full-bodied palate.
Tannins are firm.
Mmm-hmm Strong finish of blackcurrant and What is it? Mint? Exactly.
But late summer, Mediterranean-basin mint.
With just a flourish of hibiscus.
Exactly.
Danny, you gotta try this.
I need to talk to you.
Try it.
That's fine.
Fine? Hair is fine.
What do you mean, fine? Wet, grapey Congratulations.
You just described a juice box.
But a very robust, sort of old-winey juice box.
Okay, what's up? What's up? I need to talk to you.
Okay.
We just got hit for a million.
The cages? The wine cellar.
All right.
This is yesterday morning after we find the wine.
The real '78 is still in the cellar.
You just left.
There's me leaving.
See Mike and Phillip leaving.
And two security guards like you told me to get.
Construction workers Wait.
What about those guys? Security checked them every time.
What else you got? Uh What else? What else, what else? Wait a minute.
I thought we said no tours till the surveillance was in.
Looks like Sam did it anyway.
There's one tour.
There's another tour.
Same construction guys.
There's Sam giving another tour.
Wait.
Hang on a second.
Look at the way this guy's holding his arm.
Like there's a bottle under there.
That's one bottle.
I'm looking for two cases.
Maybe he took them out one at a time.
Couldn't have.
He was only in there once.
Well, the only other time wine leaves the cellar is when Phillip delivers some up to Wolfgang's.
Follow him.
I do.
The camera's on him the whole time.
He's the only one who had access.
Danny, I brought the guy here.
I hired a crook? I didn't do my homework? What else we got? Nothing.
MIKE: By the time it gets to the auction, the wine's already been switched for the fake.
I got a good idea.
Listen up.
Here's what we do.
We get all of our guests to leave their valuables at the curb.
You see, this way, we wouldn't have to inconvenience the criminals, so they actually have to come into the Montecito to rip us off.
No? We're all over it.
Yeah.
Oh, boys.
Chen's played over $3.
5 million in the last 18 hours.
I don't want to give him a reason not to come back.
So I would like it if you guys were to find out who took the stuff.
And I would like it even more if you had it back here by the time he checks out.
Got it.
Absolutely.
Oh, one more thing.
I'm giving interviews all afternoon on how wonderful our little auction went.
Get where I'm going? Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
I'm telling you, it's Phillip.
How else do you explain why this so-called expert didn't ID an obvious fake at the auction? Only way into the cellar is through the door.
Or the air ducts.
Bella Petto.
It can wait.
And he's not a so-called expert, Danny.
Phillip Corbin is one of the top sommeliers in the country.
Exactly.
He knows who all the high-end collectors are.
He's in a perfect position to broker a million dollars in hot wine.
It could be a whale.
Bid up the wine to increase the value, knowing the winner's getting the fake and then resell the good stuff at top of market.
I'll look into Mackenzie, then we'll check those air ducts.
All right.
Mike here.
No! I didn't know you could do that at that age.
They're just old.
They're not dead.
They can almost do everything we can do.
Yes, even sex.
A lot of women have sex into their eighties.
Well, that's just depressing, actually.
In my twenties I can barely have sex.
I mean, I can.
It's just It's so hard to find a decent guy.
And then you have to pretend like you want to wait so he doesn't think you're a slut.
I never waited, and no one ever thought I was Besides, you don't have to wait till you're in a relationship.
Have you ever heard of the Frisky Ferret? Oh, I'm guessing a battery-powered device.
More like a battery-powered endless source of pleasure.
That good, huh? Better.
Ooh! I'll get you the catalogue.
So what's up? Oh! Don Don Dimmick says you didn't fix the problem.
To fix the problem, I would have to reverse the gravitational forces of the Earth.
What's that? I believe it's called water aerobics.
Go make that stop.
I've already done everything I can think of.
Looks like a lot of fun, huh? Oh, no.
What is she going to do? Oh, my goodness.
Excuse me, ladies.
I hate to interrupt your exercise, but What is that? Oh! Out! Out! I'm sorry.
How disgusting.
I can't believe it.
Thank you very much, dear.
Oh, you're so welcome.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
You been watching Caddyshack? Worked, didn't it? Hey, Sam.
I need to ask you a question.
Ask away.
You took a Garth Mackenzie and his wife on a tour of the wine cellar yesterday? Mmm-hmm? He left with a bottle tucked in his jacket.
Yeah.
I gave it to him.
He wanted to surprise his wife with the champagne they drank on their first date.
Why? Oh, nothing.
Just something we caught on surveillance.
Hey, listen.
I hope I didn't give you the wrong impression.
You know, with the whole Frisky Ferret thing.
I'm sure that it's more than enough for Delinda.
It is.
And then some.
This access is reinforced.
No sign of tampering.
So the had to take the wine through the door.
I have a theory.
About the wine? Mmm-mmm.
You and Delinda.
Forget it.
Not a big deal.
Good.
Last thing I want to do is torpedo a man's mojo.
Because once that happens, what was once a mighty oak can shrink down to a withered sapling.
Where do you get your sex info? The Farmer's Almanac? Come on.
Focus.
How did he do this without ending up on camera? You still think it was Phillip? Yeah.
I think it was Phillip.
If I'd have stolen the wine, Danny, why would I come down here to tell you it wasn't the '78? Okay, this is awkward.
How do I know that's why you came down here? Listen, I know you don't like me, but I would appreciate it if you would hear me out.
Fine.
I can't let Chen leave with a wine that's not what he thinks it is.
I've staked my reputation on it.
And so did Ed.
And eventually somebody will tell Chen the truth.
Then why did you say it was the wine when you knew that it wasn't? We're trying to promote the Montecito as a world-class oenophile destination.
How would it look if Ed had made a mistake like that? I had to back him up.
Besides, I didn't to embarrass the old man.
He's got a real passion for wine, but his palate isn't as educated as he thinks it is.
Okay.
We've heard you out.
Wait.
Oh, no.
You don't have to apologize.
I'm not apologizing.
Turn around.
What? What is it? Paint? And plaster.
This is a $4,000 Brioni suit! They painted before the float coat was set.
And they didn't apply a finish layer.
These guys were obviously in some kind of a hurry.
The security was at the door.
If they carried out two cases, our guys would have caught it.
Or we would have seen it on surveillance.
Unless they carried it out one bottle at a time.
You don't carry a thermos with you every time you come and go.
And these guys did.
Proportions look about right.
Yeah, Tom and Jack Grabowski.
They're brothers.
No, sibling brothers.
Not "brother" brothers.
You subcontracted to them in October.
I thought you might know where we could find them.
Hey, Mike.
Listen.
I'll call you back.
Thanks.
My buddy at the DMV just got a license application from a dealership in North Vegas.
Tom Grabowski's name on it.
Is he still at the dealership? No.
But the new truck he just bought has GPS.
Thought we could track him with this.
Let's go.
Oh.
Bella Petto? Taken care of.
Cathy Burson.
Hey, Cathy.
What's up? Actually it was just a candy bar.
Legal action? You know what? Ed and I can handle this.
Hey, Mitch, will you call down the Escalade for me? MITCH: Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I understand.
I'll take care of it.
Mike, what the hell Hi.
Mrs.
Gruder.
Mrs.
Finnegan.
It is really nice to see you two again.
Sam, apparently Mrs.
Finnegan overheard a somewhat disturbing conversation down at the pool.
And then Mrs.
Finnegan relayed that conversation to Mrs.
Gruder, who has some concerns.
The towel boy who fished the floating item out of the pool Mmm-hmm? seemed to think it wasn't waste material at all.
It was a candy bar.
What? You're kidding! I mean I don't even I don't know what to say about that Right, and Mrs.
Gruder contacted legal, because she is concerned that perhaps someone planted that candy bar in the pool.
To get us to leave, because we don't look like all those young, silicone-filled hussies you've got floating around down there.
That's age discrimination.
That is.
You are correct.
MIKE: Yeah.
I can certainly understand why you would feel so disturbed to imagine that someone would do something that's That's disgusting.
It disgusts me.
So you don't mind if we all go back down to Bella Petto and Of course we don't mind.
Not at all.
In fact, I would be upset if you didn't go back.
MIKE: Yeah.
Let me get that door for you.
The door! Yes.
Mike is gonna get that.
There you go.
I'll race you! He's so He's so funny.
So, if you're looking for something fresh to promote at Mystique that has the cachet of champagne, this rosé gives you that name recognition with a youthful pop of color.
Mmm.
I like it.
But maybe I'd better try just a smidgen more.
Hey! What's up? Hey.
You.
Let's go.
You're coming with me and Ed.
Actually, I'm gonna need another minute.
That wasn't a question.
Let's go.
Come on.
Excuse me.
Hey.
What's up? We're headed out to North Vegas.
Mmm.
Sorry I didn't make it home last night.
That's okay.
I kept busy.
Listen, it's my job to keep my clients happy and they don't want these women at the topless pool.
We could shut down Bella Petto.
What? For a few hours.
Maybe the ladies won't come back.
I'm not asking Don Dimmick to leave the pool! Hey, guys.
He played half a million last night.
He deserves to rest and look at some firm melons.
What's going on? All right.
The retirees' convention ends tonight.
We're trying to figure out a way to get Mrs.
Gruder and her friends out of Bella Petto until tomorrow.
I know.
It's so tough to figure it out.
Bingo or shuffleboard? Bingo? Uh-uh.
Like I told Mary, these women may be old, but they're still alive.
All right.
So do you have an idea? This is definitely not how I pictured spending my afternoon.
I knew Thunder From Down Under would do the trick.
This is the best part.
There is a defibrillator in the house, right? Thank you so much for getting them, Mary.
How'd you convince them to do a private show? They don't do a matinee so the guys just did it as, like, a personal favor to me.
What? I'm a fan of the show.
A big tipper.
So are a couple of these guys.
MARGIE: Oh, you are gorgeous.
I'm out.
He's threatened.
Totally.
There's two brand-new trucks in the driveway.
My guess is they unloaded the wine already.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's go in.
Wait.
Wait.
Go inside? Isn't that a little dangerous? Why did we bring this guy? To ID the wine.
You think you could actually get it right this time? That wine we trying was an extremely high-quality vintage.
Even the most educated, discerning, sophisticated of palates like yours could have been fooled.
Okay.
Let's go.
He's the boss.
Not bad, huh? I'd rather have the cash.
Come on.
We had to keep one to try it.
Besides, this hooch goes good with the coleslaw.
Thanks.
Danny.
Hey! What are you doing here? You know, just kicking it.
Checking out your new grill.
What'd this thing set you back? Two, three grand? Four, two.
Forty Wow.
What, did you guys come into some money recently, or I'm telling you.
We sold the rest of the wine.
We just kept the one bottle for ourselves.
It's empty.
All right.
I'll tell you how we'll handle this.
You take us to the guy that, you know, you sold the wine to and we will use your money to buy it back.
But I don't have it all.
All right.
Then I guess we'll just let the cops take care of this.
All right! All right! We'll work this out.
Yeah, I thought you would.
He deals the good stuff out of the back.
Get him out of here.
Uh I'm looking for a specialty item.
Fat? Midget? Donkey? A '78 Montrachet.
No offense, but you don't look the kind of guy who could appreciate a '78 Montrachet.
Yeah, I was thinking the same about you and deodorant.
Here's what you paid for the wine.
We'll make a little exchange.
I get the wine, you take the money.
Problem is, the price has gone up.
Really? Mmm-hmm.
Here's the deal, you give me the wine, and I won't tear your throat out.
Sold.
Get yourself a napkin, will you? Slob.
I heard you kept Phillip from getting his ass kicked.
That mean you're coming around? Just doing my job.
All right.
But he's not going anywhere any time soon.
So you might as well get used to him being here.
Here we go.
Mr.
Chen, it was nice spending time with you, and we hope to see you here again soon.
Michael will escort you to the airport, of course, along with your wine.
How thoughtful.
Do say goodbye to Mr.
Corbin for me.
I know he meant to see you off, but I guess he got held up somewhere.
I would just like to apologize again for what happened at Bella Petto.
I've always felt that the soul only ripens with experience.
Like fine wine.
It was a pleasure.
Mr.
Deline, you've been terribly generous.
I would like to give you one of these.
Oh, that's just not necessary.
I insist.
Take it.
Well, in that case, I guess, sure.
Thank you so much.
My pleasure.
Thanks.
How about that.
Oh, thanks again.
Cheers.
Bye.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That was really beautiful.
I know.
Want me to hold that for you, boss? Some chance.
Mr.
Chen! Mr.
Chen! Mr.
Chen! What Hey! Free for lunch? Yeah.
Good.
Come with me.
I tried to stay up until you got home last night, but I was completely spent.
Spent? Yeah.
But I slept really well.
So I thought we could figure out a way to use up all this energy.
Oh, yeah? Mmm-hmm I'll be right back.
Okay.
All right.
Delinda! We need to talk about this.
You can't just get up in the middle of I had spinach in my teeth.
What? Danny, what's going on? You didn't just suddenly develop a phobia to oral hygiene, did you? I just I thought it was the Frisky Ferret.
I thought that you were in there.
I thought that you were in there, you know Why would I do that when I have the real thing right here? Because you would rather have the tractor in your field than the mule in your Mike's an idiot.
Look, I think that we have an amazing sex life and I don't need sex toys or erotic accessories to make me happy.
I just need you.
I feel the exact same way, Danny.
Good.
So if this is about the Frisky Ferret, let's just get rid of it.
We good? Yeah.
Good.
'Cause I'd rather be here with you like this, than lying alone, half-undressed, in the middle of the day, fantasizing about you and me doing it on a picnic bench in the middle of the woods.
What do you mean? You know.
Bra, blouse, nothing else.
Except my boots.
And I'm getting a few splinters, but I kind of like it.
And any moment we might be discovered.
It's just something that gets me really excited.
But don't worry.
That's all over.
I'll be right back.
Danny!