Monarch Of The Glen (2000) s04e09 Episode Script
Series 4, Episode 9
Golly: He looks in a bad way.
Of all the beasts in the world, it had to be you, Big Eric.
Duncan: He's well off the beaten track.
Where's he come from? Duncan, bullets.
- Bullets? - Bullets.
- You've got them.
- If I had them would I be asking you for them? Do you want me to get some? No, son, I'm going to sit here and wait till the beast comes to me.
Then I'm going to put him out of his misery with a few harsh words.
- ( laughs ) - Go.
( theme music playing ) What on earth are you playing at? No, I think it's all right.
Lexie: Okay, back, back.
Back, back, back.
Back, back, keep coming, keep coming.
Oh, stop, stop! Stop there.
Have you ever reversed in before? One very big haggis.
Do you know how much this fridge unit's costing us? And he nearly slams it into the wall.
- What are you grinning at? - You and how deep down I know you're enjoying every minute of this.
Could you plug this into the kitchen for me please? Be careful with the haggis.
I quite like you when you're in your organizing mode.
- Who's that? - Don't know.
Are you lost? Can we help at all? I'm looking for this man.
Lexie: It's Golly, isn't it? ( chuckles ) Golly's up in the hills somewhere.
it might be some time before he's back.
Where? They headed to Raglan Glen, up there.
Thanks.
It'd be nice to know who's asking for him.
Paul Bowman.
And how do you know Golly? I don't.
- Archie, I need to get a number off you for the band.
- Hang on a minute.
Morning, Archie.
Morning.
- Morning, Archie.
- Morning.
I've been helping you organize the Ghillie's Ball for years now.
Ah, but this year you're the host.
And with Irene gone- it's just a traditional ball.
So it's going to be the same as it was last year and the year before that, and the year before that.
Don't worry, it'll be fine.
Oops.
Right here would be good.
And then the waitresses can serve drinks as the guests come in.
Would you like any help in the kitchen? Things aren't that bad just yet.
Don't worry, everything's in hand.
Honestly.
- Morning.
- Morning.
I thought the boarders of the old jardin might need a haircut.
That's very kind of you to offer, Kilwillie.
Oh, no.
I didn't mean- I meant you could borrow it, that's all.
Really no need.
Andrew lent me his just the other day.
- Oh.
- Trust it did the job.
It certainly did.
Now you're here.
Kilwillie, do you want to stay and be a helper, too? Could you define helper a bit more clearly? Well, to begin with, all those chairs have got to be moved round the tables.
- And then- - thing is I've got a very- oh, well, you know me.
Always ready to lend a helping hand.
( chuckles ) I'm sorry, Molly- who the dickens is he? Andrew, as I said.
Andrew.
Right! You should leave a few of these unshelled.
It really sets the plates off.
( clears throat ) Isn't there something else you could be getting on with? No, no, no.
I've got the whole day clear for you.
I even told Golly and Duncan I couldn't go stalking with them.
( car approaching ) Huh, I wonder what he's doing back.
Give me one minute, okay? Take your time.
I thought you were up on the hill.
No, boss, I'm here.
I was just wondering why.
Saw Big Eric injured pretty bad.
Are you sure it was him? Yeah, I think one of the younger stags gave him more than he bargained for in the rut.
Golly thinks we should put him out of his misery.
So why didn't you just take the shot? Um Dunc, what are you looking for? Ammunition.
Boys, I've got a job for somebody.
Both: Certainly.
There's a box in the attic with all the table decorations.
Both: I'll go.
On second thought, it's really a two-man job.
What sort of box? I'm not sure, really.
A small box I think.
But it's very heavy.
We'll find it I'm sure, dear Molly.
It could be under some things.
We'll be back in a trice.
So it's a small box under some things.
Yes.
- Molly.
- Yes? I just wanted to be absolutely sure- everything in the garden's rosy, isn't it? Well, apart from the rosa mundi having a touch- no, no, I meant between us- after the proposal.
- Of course.
- Because we did agree that we wouldn't let it stop us being chums, didn't we? As far as I'm concerned, Kilwillie, nothing will ever change.
Where is the attic? Top of the house, dear boy.
it usually is.
Okay.
Good.
Okay, give me your hand and I'll pull you up.
I'm fine.
I have scaled Ben Nevis.
I think I can manage this.
I was in the Himalayas about five years back.
You ever climbed there? Well, not recently.
Well, pull, man, pull! So he definitely has to be culled? From what Duncan says.
It's silly, but it feels like losing one of the family.
I better get going.
The sooner I'm gone, the sooner I'll be back to help.
She so wants this evening to be a success, but honestly, Archie, I could have never coped on my own like she's trying to do.
Just do what you can.
She'll thank you for it in the end.
Molly, did Archie leave the number for the band? Was he supposed to? ( sighs ) Fine.
Do you know, I think our search would be more profitable at the other end.
- Perhaps we should admit defeat.
- Nonsense! If you knew Molly half as well as I do, you'd know that defeat is not a word in her vocabulary.
You're rather close to Molly, aren't you? Perhaps none so close, though I say it myself.
And she never mentioned me to you? No.
Good grief! Oh, I'm sorry.
I was just- I'm sorry.
Yes, well, perhaps we should concentrate on the matter in hand.
Not that one.
So now what? Simply have to open it from this side.
- Help! Help! - Help! Help! - Help! - Help! There is a track, you know, if you want to stay on it.
I'll bring him up once we've got Big Eric.
Do you think we're a bit stuck? I think there's a distinct possibility.
- Thanks.
- 20 cases- 10 red, 10 white.
And I don't actually want it here, though.
That's fine.
Just put it- thanks.
I need this wine lifted to the marquis Molly? - ( explosion ) - ( Molly screams ) ( Molly groans ) Woman: Anybody home? Oh, Molly, I know we're early, but I- I'm afraid the haggis is off.
Archie: How bad is he? He'll not make it through another winter, that's for sure.
And we need to do it today.
I'll not let the beast suffer.
I'd like to be the one who takes the shot.
Of course.
Right, let's get started.
Archie: Oh, before I forget, you don't know a Paul Bowman, do you? Never heard of him.
Well, I met him earlier.
And we just passed him in the Land Rover.
Where is the Land Rover? It's a wee bit stuck.
Duncan, if you were a stag, we'd have you culled by now.
- Bowman, you said? - Yeah.
No, never heard of him.
Have I got it all? Yeah, yeah.
Look as good as new.
( laughing ) You know, I always remember the first time we came here.
Zara and Archie racing through here, her in her best frock and him in his short trousers.
- Mother- - what was it you used to play? "Kiss, chase.
" Oh, aye, did he ever catch you? He was the one running away.
( chuckling ) There we are.
My late husband Gerald and I, we always hoped that Zara and Archie might have never mind.
How is your husband? Still running.
But he lets me catch him sometimes.
( chuckles ) Zara, bless her, has given up chasing.
Haven't you, poppet? Sorry about the early arrival.
It's fine.
Isn't it, Lexie? Absolutely.
Zara may have given up on the manhunt, but I thought if I was finally going to find a new husband, I should get along early to avoid disappointment.
We're not in your way, are we? No, not at all.
I know from all the functions I've arranged it's when you think it's all in hand, that's when the little problems seem to pop up out of nowhere.
Don't they just.
( sighs ) We do so always love coming to visit Glenbogle.
And we love having you.
You mustn't leave it so long next time.
I can see Archie's done well for himself with you, Lexie.
Perhaps you should have a word with Zara later.
Pass on your secret for success.
Well, then it wouldn't be a secret anymore.
And now, if you'll excuse me I've got flowers to sort out, wine to move and a kitchen to de-haggis.
( sighs ) One can never have too much time to get ready for these occasions.
Clearly not.
And as you can see, Molly, Zara is not blessed with Lexie's natural beauty.
Look, if a girl is going to catch the right chap she's got to have the right face to do it with.
And if you haven't got one of your own, paint it on.
Well, I think that Zara has a very nice natural look.
- Help! - Help! Can I hear someone calling? Just the wind.
( chuckles ) Help! Help! Maybe bouncing around isn't such a good idea.
But somebody's bound to cross the landing sooner or later then they'll hear.
Or maybe they'll see you when you come crashing through the ceiling.
- What exactly are you implying? - Nothing.
I may be a little stout, but it think it's a bit off to point it out.
That's not what I meant.
Nanny always said I was built for carrying responsibilities.
Nanny? Ow.
And just for the record, I am only a few pounds heavier than the official national average for my height and build.
I just happen to be three inches shorter.
We have guests and some assistance would be appreciated.
Ah, that box there I wanted.
Oh, and I thought- wait! Ahh! I do hope that isn't too painful.
Worse things in the world than being guardian to all this, wouldn't you say? I can't believe I ever thought I could live away from here.
Golly: Sometimes in our lives we're after different things, son.
Archie: Remind me never to take all this for granted, Golly.
Caring, gentle, understanding- - You could have been a nurse, couldn't you? - Me? I doubt it.
You have all the qualities.
( gasps ) Sorry.
Didn't feel a thing.
Molly, I've got a jolly large splinter.
- Where? - Just there.
It's huge.
Oh, Kilwillie, don't be such a baby.
- It broken? - Just bruised.
Oh, well, never mind.
Would you like me to take a look at your splinter? Okay, son, a good clean shot to the heart.
- ( grunts ) - ( gunshot fires ) What are you doing? I had the perfect shot.
I'm told you're looking for me.
If you're the man in this photo, then yes.
- Megan.
- My mother.
- Duncan.
- Aye? Go and see if you can drive Big Eric up to the point in the hill there.
In 10 minutes we'll cross the trees and see if we can get a clear shot.
You'll be upwind of him there.
Just do it, Duncan.
I knew there was a chance you would come up here someday, but not this way.
I found this in mom's things.
Three weeks ago, I came home from leave to find her dying alone in her flat.
I'm truly sorry to hear that.
It's from your solicitors.
Read it.
"We acknowledge your desire to keep independence and sole responsibility for the child.
The Glenbogle estate, representing the interests of the father.
" He's your son.
My mother didn't want anything from you back then and neither do I.
- It's not that simple.
- All I came here for was to see my father.
See the man who walked into my mother's life 30-odd years ago and left her with a son.
- I said it's not that simple.
- Then tell me you're not my father.
Tell me that and I'll leave here and not come back.
We've got a stag to shoot.
Golly, you have to deal with this.
There's a storm away in the mountains.
I want us finished and off the hill before it decides to blow.
Thank you.
There you go.
- Here we are.
- Ohh - Help yourselves.
- Oh, that's splendid.
An army marches on its stomach.
You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.
You have enough to do as it is.
I feel dreadful about the haggis.
- The best thing you can do is take care of our guests.
- Roger.
Making the haggis is the last thing I needed.
Don't know when I'm going to have time to decorate this hall.
I knew I was right to get here early.
Please, tell me he's single.
- I'm not sure.
- You must know.
Widowed, I think.
Now he would fit rather nicely alongside my fireside.
I shouldn't set your cap at just the one chap until you've seen all the available candidates.
Yes, I'm sure you're right, dear.
You seem to have forgotten my lemon.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll forgive you just this once.
The last ball we gave had a Damien Hirst theme.
It looked absolutely fabulous.
Oh.
I'm sure it did.
You've got quite a gift for interior design.
Oh, thank you, Molly.
I meant Zara.
One doesn't like to blow one's own trumpet.
If I didn't blow mine nobody else would.
( Kilwillie and Molly chuckle ) Would you come into the hall for a moment? I've had an idea.
Excuse us, Kilwillie.
I know things have to be dealt with, but not up here.
Not like this.
Why are you so scared of admitting the truth? I'm not planning on claiming the family jewels.
Talk to me.
Now I got the answer I came for.
- Golly, you can't just let him go like this.
- Get out of my way! - No.
- I've never had a father and I don't want one.
- Not one like him, that's for sure.
- I'm not your father, Paul.
Hector MacDonald was.
You and Archie are brothers.
( Kilwillie wheezes ) Kilwillie, could you go down to the cellar for me please and see if you can find something special for the toasts? Of course.
Andrew: Warm work, that.
If you get too hot, you could always take your shirt off.
I think perhaps he needs a hand.
These bottles can be heavy.
( laughs ) You do realize that the hunting season finishes today.
Oh, don't worry, dear.
I plan to have my stag stuffed and mounted by midnight.
As far as Hector was concerned, Molly had left him.
Poor woman felt trapped up here.
No friends, nothing.
Different world.
She felt she had to get away- she went back to London.
Hector had no idea if she would ever be coming back.
Oh, so he ran off to my mother? Look I'm not trying to excuse Hector's actions.
No more did he.
He lived with the shame of it all his days, but the man was shattered.
Molly had left.
He disappeared.
I tracked him down to Edinburgh.
That's where that photo was taken.
Anyway, by the time he got back here it was all over between them.
And then Megan discovered she was pregnant.
He wanted to do the right thing by her, wanted to make sure that she wanted for nothing, but she found out that he was married, she- she didn't want to know him anymore.
I was sworn to secrecy.
The family solicitors drew a line under the matter with that letter.
I don't believe this.
Hector made me swear, Archie.
My father owned all this? So everything I've ever known is a lie, is it? You are still Hector's son.
And so is he.
If I hadn't come here, no one would ever have told me.
That was the way your mother wanted it to be.
( panting ) What are you doing? I got him around to exactly where you wanted him.
You had the perfect shot.
Why didn't you take it? I came up here to shoot Big Eric and that's what I'm going to do.
Archie.
Does somebody want to tell me what's going on? Not now, Duncan.
I can't believe the girls from the pub aren't even here yet.
( hammering ) - Lexie: What have you done? - Oriental chic.
This is my hallway.
Molly asked if I could help.
Molly: You said you didn't have time to decorate the hall.
- so I asked Zara to do it.
- This is very now, I can assure you.
When the guests arrive, this will be the first thing they see? Mm-hmm.
This isn't Glenbogle.
This isn't me.
I suppose we could lose some of the candles.
Lexie.
We should try and drive him across the glen.
Keep ourselves well below the skyline.
Nah, he's heading for cover.
He'll not leave the herd.
He's hurt.
He wants cover.
I think Duncan's right.
( bellows ) If he makes it through those trees, you'll not get a shot.
Nah.
We've been keeping him moving all day.
He's tired.
We should let him make it to the trees.
Then we can take the shot on our terms.
Okay.
Let's do it.
Can I talk to you? We're losing light.
( sighs ) Oh dear, no.
Far too demure.
- Oh.
- ( laughs ) Oh, he's obviously seen a thing or two.
But I like worldly men.
I'm surprised you've not taken a shine to him, Molly.
- Me? - Now that you're a free agent it must have crossed your mind.
Go on, admit it.
No.
Well, I mean- just don't go trying anything this evening.
I've got first dibs.
Ah-ha, the black.
The black, the black, the black ( growls ) No, the booking was for today, not for next week.
But, Dougal, I've got over 100 guests.
I need those girls.
A wedding.
Oh, right.
Well, you're sorry and I'm stuffed.
Oh, Lexie.
( sighs ) I remember my first stag.
I was 13.
I didn't want to come.
There was no way my father was going to have a son who couldn't stalk.
I was never supposed to be the oldest son.
This isn't my place.
Jamie should be here, not me.
Someone has unplugged it.
I can't risk serving food to guests that's been lying around unchilled.
Where was it plugged in? In the kitchen.
- By the food mixer? - Yes.
W- w-w-well, I'm sure it will be all right.
Okay, there you go.
Just don't come blaming me when the salmonella kicks in.
No chance of a snack, is there, to keep us going? ( tray thuds ) ( bellows ) Okay, just breathe in, hold it, and let it out slowly when you squeeze the trigger.
Archie.
Okay, son, take the shot.
( gunshot ) Clean shot.
Perfect shot.
I'll go and get the pony from the shelter.
We may share a father but I only have one brother and he died 16 years ago.
Lexie? Okay, okay, you were right.
I took on too much.
Lexie, darling, this evening isn't about the food we eat or the decor.
It's about you and Glenbogle and saying thank you to everybody for a wonderful season.
I just wanted it to be as good as it always is.
Well, things don't always have to be the same to be good, do they? No, I suppose not.
Well maybe it's time for something a bit more Lexie MacDonald.
Shall I gather the troops? This is going to be one Ghillie's Ball Glenbogle will not forget.
Okay, Kilwillie, could you clear the front of the house please of any vehicles that are there? Andrew, could you set up some car parking spaces in the field? - Mm-hmm.
- I- I could help him.
But hadn't he better go with someone who knows the layout of the estate? Okay, yup, well, Marilyn and Zara, could you both come with me please? Keeping an eye on me? Duncan: Eric ended up in the woods after all, eh, Golly? Golly: Yeah, well done, son.
You were right and I was wrong.
But if you tell anyone, I'll just deny it.
Duncan: ( laughs ) So does this mean you're going to tell me what's going on? Golly: You'll find out soon enough.
I don't want my mother knowing about this.
I don't think it's something you're going to be able to keep from her.
You kept it from me for long enough.
And that was wrong.
Look how hurt you've been by it.
It was wrong, Archie.
I want him away from Glenbogle.
It's late, son.
He's nowhere to go.
The least you can do is sleep on it.
( siren wails ) Listen, Archie, let the women have their night.
No need to rush in and ruin it.
- What do you think? - You are so clever.
I should have thought of it.
I want your word that you won't cause any trouble.
Lexie: Hi! ( laughs ) While you've been out having fun all day, we have been working very hard.
- Yeah, Paul.
- Lexie.
I see you got Golly.
So are you going to come and join us, Paul? - I don't think so.
- No arguments.
I'd better be off.
Lexie! Archie, tell Paul he's got to come and join in the fun.
You know it's compulsory at a Lexie MacDonald event.
And I have my ghillie for the ball.
You know, this day just keeps getting better and better.
So that's your wife? Listen, I just wanted to find my father.
But I'm too late.
- So- - you won't find a room in the village.
You can stay here.
Thanks.
Just for tonight.
( bell rings ) Merilyn: Andrew, save me a place.
Molly! Oh, there's one.
- Sorry.
- Lovely.
I'm in pole position! I'll take that one.
That one here.
thank you.
This is the highlands, not some English seaside resort.
Oh, Zara, come and have some fun.
- Come on! - ( bell rings ) - ( ripping ) - Ahh! Oh no, it's ruined.
Here comes Kilwillie! ( laughing ) Where's the- aah! ( ride siren blaring ) - Ahh! - ( laughing ) ( door opens, closes ) This way.
Thank you.
Come on, Kilwillie.
I need some help with the catering.
Catering? 17 fried rice, 18 beef and oyster sauce, 19 sweet and sour prawn.
Eh, 20 sweet and sour prawn.
20 sweet and sour prawn and 16 chicken chop suey.
- is there anything else? - Prawn crackers? You didn't order any.
Well, I though we might get some complimentary ones.
( speaking Chinese ) Compliments of the Lucky Star.
( cash register beeping ) ( bagpipes playing ) Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.
( cheering ) And of course, this would not be the Glenbogle Ghillie's Ball without the monster haggis.
Okay everyone, tuck in.
Help yourselves.
I suppose now you're going to tell me that you don't like chicken chow mein and haggis? It's fine, though given the choice, I'd prefer Japanese.
I want you just to have a good time, Zara.
That's what I want for everyone.
Seems I've fulfilled mother's prophecy and ended up on the shelf yet again.
Why don't you come and meet some people? Like this? Oh dear.
We'll try something new.
Come with me.
So Archie was a bit of a heartbreaker at age eight, was he? I rather like the way you do things at Glenbogle.
Lexie's done a wonderful job.
In fact, I've got to like a lot of things since I've been here.
Shall we? ( bagpipes finish ) ( applause ) One of those, perhaps? Prawn balls? No.
Oh, would you like that? You look great.
Now, let's get you a drink.
Here we are.
Can't we have some music for dancing? I forgot the band.
Well, I'm a bit rusty but I could give you a quick burst on these.
Why not? You can do everything else.
If I dare say so, I have had a bit of an idea on that front.
( pop music playing ) I love it.
Doesn't she look beautiful? Shall we dance? ( laughs ) Ooh! Andrew: It's great.
I'm really having fun! Ooh! ( laughs ) Hey, hey.
I used to love this! It's fine, it's fine.
No, no, don't worry.
Oh my.
oh.
( tango music plays ) You look a bit rusty, old boy.
Bravo! - Well done.
- You were wonderful.
- Wasn't he good? - Wonderful.
Kilwillie: The storm never came to anything then.
Well, that's the thing about storms.
You know they're out there but you never know when they're gonna let rip.
Well, I hope it holds off until I get home.
You have a rather splendid woman in Lexie.
Do you know that? I do.
Glenbogle's lucky to have the pair of you.
( engine starts ) ( traditional Scottish dance music starts ) Come on, Andrew.
One squashed toe, you're mine for the entire evening.
Isn't this fun? Even your father would have enjoyed it.
A dance, Mr.
Laird? It's a very easy dance.
- Archie, who is he? - Molly: Keep spinning! Keep spinning! Molly: That's it.
( theme music playing )
Of all the beasts in the world, it had to be you, Big Eric.
Duncan: He's well off the beaten track.
Where's he come from? Duncan, bullets.
- Bullets? - Bullets.
- You've got them.
- If I had them would I be asking you for them? Do you want me to get some? No, son, I'm going to sit here and wait till the beast comes to me.
Then I'm going to put him out of his misery with a few harsh words.
- ( laughs ) - Go.
( theme music playing ) What on earth are you playing at? No, I think it's all right.
Lexie: Okay, back, back.
Back, back, back.
Back, back, keep coming, keep coming.
Oh, stop, stop! Stop there.
Have you ever reversed in before? One very big haggis.
Do you know how much this fridge unit's costing us? And he nearly slams it into the wall.
- What are you grinning at? - You and how deep down I know you're enjoying every minute of this.
Could you plug this into the kitchen for me please? Be careful with the haggis.
I quite like you when you're in your organizing mode.
- Who's that? - Don't know.
Are you lost? Can we help at all? I'm looking for this man.
Lexie: It's Golly, isn't it? ( chuckles ) Golly's up in the hills somewhere.
it might be some time before he's back.
Where? They headed to Raglan Glen, up there.
Thanks.
It'd be nice to know who's asking for him.
Paul Bowman.
And how do you know Golly? I don't.
- Archie, I need to get a number off you for the band.
- Hang on a minute.
Morning, Archie.
Morning.
- Morning, Archie.
- Morning.
I've been helping you organize the Ghillie's Ball for years now.
Ah, but this year you're the host.
And with Irene gone- it's just a traditional ball.
So it's going to be the same as it was last year and the year before that, and the year before that.
Don't worry, it'll be fine.
Oops.
Right here would be good.
And then the waitresses can serve drinks as the guests come in.
Would you like any help in the kitchen? Things aren't that bad just yet.
Don't worry, everything's in hand.
Honestly.
- Morning.
- Morning.
I thought the boarders of the old jardin might need a haircut.
That's very kind of you to offer, Kilwillie.
Oh, no.
I didn't mean- I meant you could borrow it, that's all.
Really no need.
Andrew lent me his just the other day.
- Oh.
- Trust it did the job.
It certainly did.
Now you're here.
Kilwillie, do you want to stay and be a helper, too? Could you define helper a bit more clearly? Well, to begin with, all those chairs have got to be moved round the tables.
- And then- - thing is I've got a very- oh, well, you know me.
Always ready to lend a helping hand.
( chuckles ) I'm sorry, Molly- who the dickens is he? Andrew, as I said.
Andrew.
Right! You should leave a few of these unshelled.
It really sets the plates off.
( clears throat ) Isn't there something else you could be getting on with? No, no, no.
I've got the whole day clear for you.
I even told Golly and Duncan I couldn't go stalking with them.
( car approaching ) Huh, I wonder what he's doing back.
Give me one minute, okay? Take your time.
I thought you were up on the hill.
No, boss, I'm here.
I was just wondering why.
Saw Big Eric injured pretty bad.
Are you sure it was him? Yeah, I think one of the younger stags gave him more than he bargained for in the rut.
Golly thinks we should put him out of his misery.
So why didn't you just take the shot? Um Dunc, what are you looking for? Ammunition.
Boys, I've got a job for somebody.
Both: Certainly.
There's a box in the attic with all the table decorations.
Both: I'll go.
On second thought, it's really a two-man job.
What sort of box? I'm not sure, really.
A small box I think.
But it's very heavy.
We'll find it I'm sure, dear Molly.
It could be under some things.
We'll be back in a trice.
So it's a small box under some things.
Yes.
- Molly.
- Yes? I just wanted to be absolutely sure- everything in the garden's rosy, isn't it? Well, apart from the rosa mundi having a touch- no, no, I meant between us- after the proposal.
- Of course.
- Because we did agree that we wouldn't let it stop us being chums, didn't we? As far as I'm concerned, Kilwillie, nothing will ever change.
Where is the attic? Top of the house, dear boy.
it usually is.
Okay.
Good.
Okay, give me your hand and I'll pull you up.
I'm fine.
I have scaled Ben Nevis.
I think I can manage this.
I was in the Himalayas about five years back.
You ever climbed there? Well, not recently.
Well, pull, man, pull! So he definitely has to be culled? From what Duncan says.
It's silly, but it feels like losing one of the family.
I better get going.
The sooner I'm gone, the sooner I'll be back to help.
She so wants this evening to be a success, but honestly, Archie, I could have never coped on my own like she's trying to do.
Just do what you can.
She'll thank you for it in the end.
Molly, did Archie leave the number for the band? Was he supposed to? ( sighs ) Fine.
Do you know, I think our search would be more profitable at the other end.
- Perhaps we should admit defeat.
- Nonsense! If you knew Molly half as well as I do, you'd know that defeat is not a word in her vocabulary.
You're rather close to Molly, aren't you? Perhaps none so close, though I say it myself.
And she never mentioned me to you? No.
Good grief! Oh, I'm sorry.
I was just- I'm sorry.
Yes, well, perhaps we should concentrate on the matter in hand.
Not that one.
So now what? Simply have to open it from this side.
- Help! Help! - Help! Help! - Help! - Help! There is a track, you know, if you want to stay on it.
I'll bring him up once we've got Big Eric.
Do you think we're a bit stuck? I think there's a distinct possibility.
- Thanks.
- 20 cases- 10 red, 10 white.
And I don't actually want it here, though.
That's fine.
Just put it- thanks.
I need this wine lifted to the marquis Molly? - ( explosion ) - ( Molly screams ) ( Molly groans ) Woman: Anybody home? Oh, Molly, I know we're early, but I- I'm afraid the haggis is off.
Archie: How bad is he? He'll not make it through another winter, that's for sure.
And we need to do it today.
I'll not let the beast suffer.
I'd like to be the one who takes the shot.
Of course.
Right, let's get started.
Archie: Oh, before I forget, you don't know a Paul Bowman, do you? Never heard of him.
Well, I met him earlier.
And we just passed him in the Land Rover.
Where is the Land Rover? It's a wee bit stuck.
Duncan, if you were a stag, we'd have you culled by now.
- Bowman, you said? - Yeah.
No, never heard of him.
Have I got it all? Yeah, yeah.
Look as good as new.
( laughing ) You know, I always remember the first time we came here.
Zara and Archie racing through here, her in her best frock and him in his short trousers.
- Mother- - what was it you used to play? "Kiss, chase.
" Oh, aye, did he ever catch you? He was the one running away.
( chuckling ) There we are.
My late husband Gerald and I, we always hoped that Zara and Archie might have never mind.
How is your husband? Still running.
But he lets me catch him sometimes.
( chuckles ) Zara, bless her, has given up chasing.
Haven't you, poppet? Sorry about the early arrival.
It's fine.
Isn't it, Lexie? Absolutely.
Zara may have given up on the manhunt, but I thought if I was finally going to find a new husband, I should get along early to avoid disappointment.
We're not in your way, are we? No, not at all.
I know from all the functions I've arranged it's when you think it's all in hand, that's when the little problems seem to pop up out of nowhere.
Don't they just.
( sighs ) We do so always love coming to visit Glenbogle.
And we love having you.
You mustn't leave it so long next time.
I can see Archie's done well for himself with you, Lexie.
Perhaps you should have a word with Zara later.
Pass on your secret for success.
Well, then it wouldn't be a secret anymore.
And now, if you'll excuse me I've got flowers to sort out, wine to move and a kitchen to de-haggis.
( sighs ) One can never have too much time to get ready for these occasions.
Clearly not.
And as you can see, Molly, Zara is not blessed with Lexie's natural beauty.
Look, if a girl is going to catch the right chap she's got to have the right face to do it with.
And if you haven't got one of your own, paint it on.
Well, I think that Zara has a very nice natural look.
- Help! - Help! Can I hear someone calling? Just the wind.
( chuckles ) Help! Help! Maybe bouncing around isn't such a good idea.
But somebody's bound to cross the landing sooner or later then they'll hear.
Or maybe they'll see you when you come crashing through the ceiling.
- What exactly are you implying? - Nothing.
I may be a little stout, but it think it's a bit off to point it out.
That's not what I meant.
Nanny always said I was built for carrying responsibilities.
Nanny? Ow.
And just for the record, I am only a few pounds heavier than the official national average for my height and build.
I just happen to be three inches shorter.
We have guests and some assistance would be appreciated.
Ah, that box there I wanted.
Oh, and I thought- wait! Ahh! I do hope that isn't too painful.
Worse things in the world than being guardian to all this, wouldn't you say? I can't believe I ever thought I could live away from here.
Golly: Sometimes in our lives we're after different things, son.
Archie: Remind me never to take all this for granted, Golly.
Caring, gentle, understanding- - You could have been a nurse, couldn't you? - Me? I doubt it.
You have all the qualities.
( gasps ) Sorry.
Didn't feel a thing.
Molly, I've got a jolly large splinter.
- Where? - Just there.
It's huge.
Oh, Kilwillie, don't be such a baby.
- It broken? - Just bruised.
Oh, well, never mind.
Would you like me to take a look at your splinter? Okay, son, a good clean shot to the heart.
- ( grunts ) - ( gunshot fires ) What are you doing? I had the perfect shot.
I'm told you're looking for me.
If you're the man in this photo, then yes.
- Megan.
- My mother.
- Duncan.
- Aye? Go and see if you can drive Big Eric up to the point in the hill there.
In 10 minutes we'll cross the trees and see if we can get a clear shot.
You'll be upwind of him there.
Just do it, Duncan.
I knew there was a chance you would come up here someday, but not this way.
I found this in mom's things.
Three weeks ago, I came home from leave to find her dying alone in her flat.
I'm truly sorry to hear that.
It's from your solicitors.
Read it.
"We acknowledge your desire to keep independence and sole responsibility for the child.
The Glenbogle estate, representing the interests of the father.
" He's your son.
My mother didn't want anything from you back then and neither do I.
- It's not that simple.
- All I came here for was to see my father.
See the man who walked into my mother's life 30-odd years ago and left her with a son.
- I said it's not that simple.
- Then tell me you're not my father.
Tell me that and I'll leave here and not come back.
We've got a stag to shoot.
Golly, you have to deal with this.
There's a storm away in the mountains.
I want us finished and off the hill before it decides to blow.
Thank you.
There you go.
- Here we are.
- Ohh - Help yourselves.
- Oh, that's splendid.
An army marches on its stomach.
You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble.
You have enough to do as it is.
I feel dreadful about the haggis.
- The best thing you can do is take care of our guests.
- Roger.
Making the haggis is the last thing I needed.
Don't know when I'm going to have time to decorate this hall.
I knew I was right to get here early.
Please, tell me he's single.
- I'm not sure.
- You must know.
Widowed, I think.
Now he would fit rather nicely alongside my fireside.
I shouldn't set your cap at just the one chap until you've seen all the available candidates.
Yes, I'm sure you're right, dear.
You seem to have forgotten my lemon.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll forgive you just this once.
The last ball we gave had a Damien Hirst theme.
It looked absolutely fabulous.
Oh.
I'm sure it did.
You've got quite a gift for interior design.
Oh, thank you, Molly.
I meant Zara.
One doesn't like to blow one's own trumpet.
If I didn't blow mine nobody else would.
( Kilwillie and Molly chuckle ) Would you come into the hall for a moment? I've had an idea.
Excuse us, Kilwillie.
I know things have to be dealt with, but not up here.
Not like this.
Why are you so scared of admitting the truth? I'm not planning on claiming the family jewels.
Talk to me.
Now I got the answer I came for.
- Golly, you can't just let him go like this.
- Get out of my way! - No.
- I've never had a father and I don't want one.
- Not one like him, that's for sure.
- I'm not your father, Paul.
Hector MacDonald was.
You and Archie are brothers.
( Kilwillie wheezes ) Kilwillie, could you go down to the cellar for me please and see if you can find something special for the toasts? Of course.
Andrew: Warm work, that.
If you get too hot, you could always take your shirt off.
I think perhaps he needs a hand.
These bottles can be heavy.
( laughs ) You do realize that the hunting season finishes today.
Oh, don't worry, dear.
I plan to have my stag stuffed and mounted by midnight.
As far as Hector was concerned, Molly had left him.
Poor woman felt trapped up here.
No friends, nothing.
Different world.
She felt she had to get away- she went back to London.
Hector had no idea if she would ever be coming back.
Oh, so he ran off to my mother? Look I'm not trying to excuse Hector's actions.
No more did he.
He lived with the shame of it all his days, but the man was shattered.
Molly had left.
He disappeared.
I tracked him down to Edinburgh.
That's where that photo was taken.
Anyway, by the time he got back here it was all over between them.
And then Megan discovered she was pregnant.
He wanted to do the right thing by her, wanted to make sure that she wanted for nothing, but she found out that he was married, she- she didn't want to know him anymore.
I was sworn to secrecy.
The family solicitors drew a line under the matter with that letter.
I don't believe this.
Hector made me swear, Archie.
My father owned all this? So everything I've ever known is a lie, is it? You are still Hector's son.
And so is he.
If I hadn't come here, no one would ever have told me.
That was the way your mother wanted it to be.
( panting ) What are you doing? I got him around to exactly where you wanted him.
You had the perfect shot.
Why didn't you take it? I came up here to shoot Big Eric and that's what I'm going to do.
Archie.
Does somebody want to tell me what's going on? Not now, Duncan.
I can't believe the girls from the pub aren't even here yet.
( hammering ) - Lexie: What have you done? - Oriental chic.
This is my hallway.
Molly asked if I could help.
Molly: You said you didn't have time to decorate the hall.
- so I asked Zara to do it.
- This is very now, I can assure you.
When the guests arrive, this will be the first thing they see? Mm-hmm.
This isn't Glenbogle.
This isn't me.
I suppose we could lose some of the candles.
Lexie.
We should try and drive him across the glen.
Keep ourselves well below the skyline.
Nah, he's heading for cover.
He'll not leave the herd.
He's hurt.
He wants cover.
I think Duncan's right.
( bellows ) If he makes it through those trees, you'll not get a shot.
Nah.
We've been keeping him moving all day.
He's tired.
We should let him make it to the trees.
Then we can take the shot on our terms.
Okay.
Let's do it.
Can I talk to you? We're losing light.
( sighs ) Oh dear, no.
Far too demure.
- Oh.
- ( laughs ) Oh, he's obviously seen a thing or two.
But I like worldly men.
I'm surprised you've not taken a shine to him, Molly.
- Me? - Now that you're a free agent it must have crossed your mind.
Go on, admit it.
No.
Well, I mean- just don't go trying anything this evening.
I've got first dibs.
Ah-ha, the black.
The black, the black, the black ( growls ) No, the booking was for today, not for next week.
But, Dougal, I've got over 100 guests.
I need those girls.
A wedding.
Oh, right.
Well, you're sorry and I'm stuffed.
Oh, Lexie.
( sighs ) I remember my first stag.
I was 13.
I didn't want to come.
There was no way my father was going to have a son who couldn't stalk.
I was never supposed to be the oldest son.
This isn't my place.
Jamie should be here, not me.
Someone has unplugged it.
I can't risk serving food to guests that's been lying around unchilled.
Where was it plugged in? In the kitchen.
- By the food mixer? - Yes.
W- w-w-well, I'm sure it will be all right.
Okay, there you go.
Just don't come blaming me when the salmonella kicks in.
No chance of a snack, is there, to keep us going? ( tray thuds ) ( bellows ) Okay, just breathe in, hold it, and let it out slowly when you squeeze the trigger.
Archie.
Okay, son, take the shot.
( gunshot ) Clean shot.
Perfect shot.
I'll go and get the pony from the shelter.
We may share a father but I only have one brother and he died 16 years ago.
Lexie? Okay, okay, you were right.
I took on too much.
Lexie, darling, this evening isn't about the food we eat or the decor.
It's about you and Glenbogle and saying thank you to everybody for a wonderful season.
I just wanted it to be as good as it always is.
Well, things don't always have to be the same to be good, do they? No, I suppose not.
Well maybe it's time for something a bit more Lexie MacDonald.
Shall I gather the troops? This is going to be one Ghillie's Ball Glenbogle will not forget.
Okay, Kilwillie, could you clear the front of the house please of any vehicles that are there? Andrew, could you set up some car parking spaces in the field? - Mm-hmm.
- I- I could help him.
But hadn't he better go with someone who knows the layout of the estate? Okay, yup, well, Marilyn and Zara, could you both come with me please? Keeping an eye on me? Duncan: Eric ended up in the woods after all, eh, Golly? Golly: Yeah, well done, son.
You were right and I was wrong.
But if you tell anyone, I'll just deny it.
Duncan: ( laughs ) So does this mean you're going to tell me what's going on? Golly: You'll find out soon enough.
I don't want my mother knowing about this.
I don't think it's something you're going to be able to keep from her.
You kept it from me for long enough.
And that was wrong.
Look how hurt you've been by it.
It was wrong, Archie.
I want him away from Glenbogle.
It's late, son.
He's nowhere to go.
The least you can do is sleep on it.
( siren wails ) Listen, Archie, let the women have their night.
No need to rush in and ruin it.
- What do you think? - You are so clever.
I should have thought of it.
I want your word that you won't cause any trouble.
Lexie: Hi! ( laughs ) While you've been out having fun all day, we have been working very hard.
- Yeah, Paul.
- Lexie.
I see you got Golly.
So are you going to come and join us, Paul? - I don't think so.
- No arguments.
I'd better be off.
Lexie! Archie, tell Paul he's got to come and join in the fun.
You know it's compulsory at a Lexie MacDonald event.
And I have my ghillie for the ball.
You know, this day just keeps getting better and better.
So that's your wife? Listen, I just wanted to find my father.
But I'm too late.
- So- - you won't find a room in the village.
You can stay here.
Thanks.
Just for tonight.
( bell rings ) Merilyn: Andrew, save me a place.
Molly! Oh, there's one.
- Sorry.
- Lovely.
I'm in pole position! I'll take that one.
That one here.
thank you.
This is the highlands, not some English seaside resort.
Oh, Zara, come and have some fun.
- Come on! - ( bell rings ) - ( ripping ) - Ahh! Oh no, it's ruined.
Here comes Kilwillie! ( laughing ) Where's the- aah! ( ride siren blaring ) - Ahh! - ( laughing ) ( door opens, closes ) This way.
Thank you.
Come on, Kilwillie.
I need some help with the catering.
Catering? 17 fried rice, 18 beef and oyster sauce, 19 sweet and sour prawn.
Eh, 20 sweet and sour prawn.
20 sweet and sour prawn and 16 chicken chop suey.
- is there anything else? - Prawn crackers? You didn't order any.
Well, I though we might get some complimentary ones.
( speaking Chinese ) Compliments of the Lucky Star.
( cash register beeping ) ( bagpipes playing ) Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.
( cheering ) And of course, this would not be the Glenbogle Ghillie's Ball without the monster haggis.
Okay everyone, tuck in.
Help yourselves.
I suppose now you're going to tell me that you don't like chicken chow mein and haggis? It's fine, though given the choice, I'd prefer Japanese.
I want you just to have a good time, Zara.
That's what I want for everyone.
Seems I've fulfilled mother's prophecy and ended up on the shelf yet again.
Why don't you come and meet some people? Like this? Oh dear.
We'll try something new.
Come with me.
So Archie was a bit of a heartbreaker at age eight, was he? I rather like the way you do things at Glenbogle.
Lexie's done a wonderful job.
In fact, I've got to like a lot of things since I've been here.
Shall we? ( bagpipes finish ) ( applause ) One of those, perhaps? Prawn balls? No.
Oh, would you like that? You look great.
Now, let's get you a drink.
Here we are.
Can't we have some music for dancing? I forgot the band.
Well, I'm a bit rusty but I could give you a quick burst on these.
Why not? You can do everything else.
If I dare say so, I have had a bit of an idea on that front.
( pop music playing ) I love it.
Doesn't she look beautiful? Shall we dance? ( laughs ) Ooh! Andrew: It's great.
I'm really having fun! Ooh! ( laughs ) Hey, hey.
I used to love this! It's fine, it's fine.
No, no, don't worry.
Oh my.
oh.
( tango music plays ) You look a bit rusty, old boy.
Bravo! - Well done.
- You were wonderful.
- Wasn't he good? - Wonderful.
Kilwillie: The storm never came to anything then.
Well, that's the thing about storms.
You know they're out there but you never know when they're gonna let rip.
Well, I hope it holds off until I get home.
You have a rather splendid woman in Lexie.
Do you know that? I do.
Glenbogle's lucky to have the pair of you.
( engine starts ) ( traditional Scottish dance music starts ) Come on, Andrew.
One squashed toe, you're mine for the entire evening.
Isn't this fun? Even your father would have enjoyed it.
A dance, Mr.
Laird? It's a very easy dance.
- Archie, who is he? - Molly: Keep spinning! Keep spinning! Molly: That's it.
( theme music playing )