Quantum Leap s04e09 Episode Script

Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr.
Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished.
He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better.
His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear.
And so, Dr.
Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
Billy.
! Billy Beaumont.
! God almighty, Billy.
Is it really you? Yeah, uh, it's me.
Oh! Billy! Billy! Every churchgoin' soul in the whole town's been prayin' for you to roll in here.
- Why? - Why? Well, why else boy? - To make it rain.
- Rain? Purveyor of precipitation and maker of rai- Oh, boy.
Billy.
Billy.
How's it feel to be back home, Billy? Stranger than you might know, Vern.
Vern! Vern, li-listen to that.
Time you left here, you were still callin' me Mr.
Coutis.
Hey, what you got on your hair there? A 30-weight? Hey! Hey, Velma, Velma.
- Lo-Look who's here? - Billy Beaumont.
Hey, folks seem to like you round here.
Yeah, seems that way.
Sure been dull since you left town, Billy.
Maybe we can change that.
Now, Velma, you leave Billy be.
Least till his mama gets a chance to kiss him first.
Come back here.
Billy.
Billy, hello.
Grace? Gracie Beaumont, get your beautiful bustle down here.
Vernon Coutis, if your mother heard you addressing a proper lady like that, sh- Billy? My boy.
You've come home.
Hello, Mom.
But you're not a boy anymore.
You're a grown man.
- And not just any man, Gracie.
He's a famous scientist.
- Well, um- Well, let me look at you.
Di-Di-Did you really overdo it down there in Louisiana and cause a flood? A flood? Oh- Sure, sure thing.
It's true.
It's true, yes, it is.
Town ofTallulah.
Dr.
Beaumont went a little heavy on the silver iodide, but, uh, by the time the storm was done, you couldn't tell Main Street from the Mississippi.
- Who's your friend? - My friend? Oh, uh- Clinton Levering, ma'am.
Clinton Levering.
Yes.
Proud to be an assistant and apprentice to your son here, Dr.
Beaumont.
Dr.
Beaumont.
My Billy.
I guess you've changed a lot more than this place has.
Yeah, well.
How-How long has it been anyway? Has it been so long that you've forgotten the taste of my homemade spoon bread? No, ma'am, no.
No, not that long.
Well, I made some fresh this mornin'.
Let's go see.
- Oh, Billy.
! - I told you all it was him.
I had Monkey fill your radiator for you, Billy.
No charge.
Oh, I'd never dream of charging Billy.
For anything.
Neither would I.
Don't tell me that you don't remember me.
How-How could I forget you? Oh, heck, honey, I can do a whole lot better than that.
And she ain't married to your brother.
- So, can you do it? - Of course he can do it.
I don't want to hear you say it.
I want to hear him say it.
How about it, boy? Can you do it? You're talking about, I guess, if I could- Well, what you're asking me is- Oh, for God's sakes, boy! Can you make it rain? Of course he can't.
! Tell 'em, Billy.
Ralph, aren't you even gonna say hello to your brother? Right after he tells these good people the truth.
How about it, Billy? Can you make it rain? Well, no, not exactly.
Well, what he means is that God makes the rain.
Doc Beaumont here just helps him along a little.
Look, I can see that you people need rain.
And I'd love nothing more than to give it to you.
Yeah.
Look, I cannot make it rain.
- What? - Whoa, hey-hey-hey! Well, not today, he means.
I mean rainmaking takes time.
Clinton.
You see, modern science- Modern science has discovered that water vapor is always in the air.
Well, now, I know it seems impossible.
I mean, but it's true.
It-It's here.
Right now.
Yes, it's all around us.
Now, the problem is getting it to form into little drops.
And fall to the ground.
This is a conundrum.
Hi, Sam.
Ah, nice outfit.
Quiet.
Don't be bashful, William.
Let the boy talk.
Now, over the years, mankind has tried all kinds of methods.
But we are truly blessed to live in a time of a one Dr.
VincentJ.
Schaefer of the National Weather Institute.
What's he talking about? How should I know? You're the physics expert.
Not only was Dr.
Beaumont one of Schaefer's prized pupils- but many of us feel he has carried climatological research to an even higher plane.
Hallelujah, ha-ha.
Now, you all heard him say it- in his own words- Dr.
William Beaumont, Ph.
D.
Greatest purveyor of precipitation in these here great United States, would love nothing better than to help you good people by making it rain! I think we got trouble here, Sam.
Ziggy says it's not gonna rain here for, uh, for some time.
How long is some time? Eight months, uh, one week, four days, two hours, and 44 minutes.
Yes, sir, we are going to make it rain! Get it while it's hot.
Why don't you take the place of honor, Billy? No, this is fine.
William, would you say grace? Thank you, Lord, for this good food.
Thank you for bringing families back together.
And for being home.
Amen.
Amen.
And P.
S.
God, make it rain.
I wish your father were here to see this.
Yeah, we, um, we missed you at the funeral, Billy.
Ralph- that was seven years ago.
Sorry, I couldn't make it.
It's all right, honey.
After all, you didn't hear about it until after it had happened.
Yeah, I guess you miss a lot when you drop out of touch with your family, huh? Yeah, that certainly is true.
I want to tell you though.
This is really, really good chicken.
You know, this is just the kind of chicken that my mom used to- that you always used to make.
Well, sure you miss some things when you spend your time travelin' but look at all that you gain.
I mean, Billy's so much more sophisticated now.
I bet you've seen a lot.
You can say that, yeah.
Why don't you tell us the wonderful places that you've been? I, uh, you got all the clippings I sent you, didn't you? Got them? I saved every one.
Good, well, well, maybe later we could get 'em out and, you know, refresh our memories a little bit.
Why not right now? - Oh, well- - Well, you all may have all night to meander down memory lane, but someone's gotta do the books around here.
Ralph.
Gotta stay on top of just how broke we really are.
Ralph, you haven't finished your dinner.
There you are in Philadelphia.
Uh-huh.
lodine.
Acetone, CO2- This guy is a real huckster.
Ah, I wonder whose grandmother you ripped offhere.
This is serious, Al.
I've leaped into a genuine criminal.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time.
Anyway, you don't know for sure that-that this guy is a con artist.
This is terrible! Did you see those people looking at me? Like I was some kind of a messiah or something.
And this is what I got to work with.
I got the - Don't be so hasty, Sam.
Ziggy says that you've got the right stuff here.
Yeah, what, pie cutters and Mercurochrome? Yeah.
No.
No, silver and iodine.
We looked up this guy that this kid Clinton here was talking about, this Dr.
Schaefer, and it turns out that he was real, and that he actually made it snow one time in the '40s using silver iodide.
Really? Yes, I'm sure about this.
It happened on the New York-Massachusetts border in 1946.
Of course, there was a 95% chance it was gonna snow anyway- But no, no, no.
But what the hell? No, not what the hell.
See, this is what you don't understand, Al.
I grew up on a farm.
We lived and died by the rain.
When you're in the middle of a drought, people get very desperate.
They'll do anything.
So I'm just thinkin', based on what you just said - Sam.
what if maybe- Sam, Sam.
I could bring these people rain? Sam.
Sam, we can- We can change history, we can change people, but the weather? That's the leap of another color.
I mean, that's- No, that's a horse of another kettle.
No.
I mean, I me - I don't know what I mean.
Then why am I here, huh? Now I know that we don't have scientific means in this era to make it rain.
Yeah.
Right? But you and I have access to advanced technology.
So we could just- Well, the cutting edge of meteorology work is done at Defense and Agri-Tech.
So - And, well, those morons, they guard their computer secrets like a little virgin guards her her stamp collection.
Why are you lookin' at me like that? Because we're gonna make it rain- Don't look at me.
No! and you're gonna do this.
Wh-Wh-What? No way, Sam.
No-No-No.
Mm-hmm.
No, Sam, I can't do it.
No, no, no.
No.
All right, forget you-Ziggy.
Ziggy can get into their computers.
Billy.
! You got company.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
I thought I heard you talkin' to someone.
Me? Oh, golly, no.
Well, I-Well, I- Yeah, Clinton.
He was here just.
But he left.
Hejust, uh, just a second ago.
Oh.
He went gone.
Got a little cramp.
It's no big deal.
Oh, ohh.
H-Here- Is that better? Yeah.
Yeah, th-that's fine.
Thanks.
Oh-ho-ho.
Oh-ho.
- What's this? - Hmm? That? That's a microwave oven.
Oh, wow.
Well, what does it do? Oh, you know it- It kinda cooks things real fast.
Look, you know, uh, I can't imagine you'd be interested in all this scientific stuff like I am, you know.
Maybe we should just go outside here where it's, you know, it's kind of a little bit nicer.
You know what I mean? Sure is beautiful here.
I hate it.
What? I swear, Billy, sometimes I listen to those damn cicadas, and it gets so loud it just makes me wanna scream.
! Oh, I bet you could take me places where there aren't any cicadas.
Well, you don't need me for that.
All you gotta do is get Ralph and hop in a car and off you go.
You don't mean my Ralph? Well, sure I do.
Oh, Billy, have you ever known him to go anywhere? Well- For our fifth anniversary, I tried to get him to go up to Dallas and go dancing to Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys, and you know what he said? He said, " It's inventory month at the store, Annie.
You know I can't leave.
" We ended up goin' out for chicken-fried steak at Ruby's in Cutlerville.
Okay, well, maybe he's not the flashiest guy in the world, but - Not flashy! Billy, you and I were together only twice and- I had more excitement in those two nights, than I have had in the eight years since.
Yeah, well, um- And-And I'll tell you something else.
The minute I saw your face, in town, it was like those- It was like those new TV's Ralph was talkin' about.
Everything just went from black-and-white to color.
Annie- No, that's all I'm gonna say.
And if you can't figure out how I feel, then you're not as smart as I think you are.
Eight, uh, nine, That'll do 'er.
I'll tell you what, Mr.
Davidson.
Why don't we, uh - Why don't we make it an even dozen, huh? Oh, I can't afford it, Billy.
Eleven's what I need, and that's what I'll take.
We're not all rich rainmakers, Billy.
It's 33 cents, Gid.
- Just put that on my bill, all right, Ralph? - Sure thing.
- You know I'm good for it.
- 'Course I do.
I'm drivin' my cattle down to El Paso in two more weeks.
They're so dry, I thought I was gonna have to sell 'em for jerky.
Ha-ha.
But I don't have to worry about that anymore now, do I? Ha-ha.
Adios.
Here, uh- You have a ramp out there? What kinda ramp? You know, a ramp for your chair so you- Oh, no.
If I tip over I'll just " beller" a bit.
Somebody'll come.
Well, here, let me help you.
Oh, I don't need any help, Billy.
Ah, ramp, hell.
Ah, ha-ha.
That was a real nice thing that you did there.
What'd I do? You gave a man what he wanted, and, uh, you left him with his pride.
Huh.
You mean let him buy on credit.
What choice have I got, Billy? He doesn't fix his fence, he loses his cattle, he goes broke, and I don't get paid.
See, around here folks need each other, Billy.
Well, I think that's pretty true everywhere, Ralph.
Wouldn't figure on you knowin' that.
Sure is nice workin' around here.
It feels good.
Must be the novelty.
Tell you what, Ralph.
Why don't we stop fightin', huh? Who's fightin'? Come on.
We've been fightin' ever since I got here.
Let me make it simple for you.
Things are damn tough here in Clover Bend.
But the folks, well, we're tough too.
We can take just about anything the good Lord dishes out.
So long as we look it square in the eye.
You get my meaning? So, you don't want me raisin' false hopes with all this rain talk.
Is that it? The drought's dried up a lot more than soil around here, Billy.
It's dried up a lot of soul, most of'em.
And it ain't gonna take a whole lot of your hot air to blow us all away.
Okay, folks, here it is.
Step right up.
Step right up.
Two hundred and fifty dollars will wash all your troubles away.
That's right.
Yes sir.
Here it is.
Right here.
Sign right here.
Two hundred- What if I don't have $250? Two hundred and fifty dollars, for what? For what? That is the question.
Two hundred and fifty dollars will guarantee you make it till December.
Two hundred and fifty dollars will guarantee your stocks don't fall dead in their tracks.
Whoa-Whoa-Whoa now.
Just hold it here.
I'm not gonna steal these good people's money.
It ain't stealin' if we give it to you willingly.
That's right.
Now hold on.
Not less than five minutes ago, I saw you turn down a three-penny staple because you couldn't afford it.
Now you're willing to plop down $250? Well, to make it rain? You bet I am.
Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna take your money.
Look at it this way, Billy.
If it turns out we were wrong about you, it won't make a tinker's damn anyhow.
We're all through.
So, if I have to hock my wife's gold tooth to pay my 250, I don't care.
If the drought's gonna kill me, then I'm gonna go down fightin'.
Do it for us, Billy.
All right.
All right.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna make it rain, a big rain this town will never forget.
I'm gonna raise up a storm so big, it's gonna wash this whole town clean down to Mexico.
And you can all turn in your hats for sombreros, and they will fill up with rain.
- What can we do to help? - What can you do? Well, I'll tell you what you can do.
Has this town got a cannon? Over there at the church.
Good.
Why don't you take a couple boys over there and start firin' that cannon? Day and night, and night and day until the rain comes.
Can you do that? Can I do that? Ha! Come on,Jake, we'll show him.
And-And-And we're gonna need, uh, a 50-gallon drum or two.
- What for? - 'Cause we're gonna seed the clouds, that's why.
'Cause we're gonna seed the clouds, that's why.
And, Mom, I want you to throw this town the biggest picnic they've ever seen.
Picnic? Why? Why? Why? Why because, it always rains on a picnic.
Anybody in this town who doesn't know how to swim, you better learn quick, because folks, I'm gonna make it rain! Let's get busy! What did I just do? That was my question exactly.
You better have somethin' for me, Al.
Why? Because you decided to get up here and be Barnum and Bailey? Oh, no.
Don't tell me Ziggy doesn't have anything on the rain.
Not only that.
It may be that the rain is not the main reason you're here.
You're kiddin' me.
No.
The real Billy Beaumont came here in 1953.
When Beaumont left, he took Annie with him, and Ralph Beaumont was a broken man.
Ziggy says there's an 88% chance that you're here to keep the two of them together.
You know, I was afraid I wouldn't live to see both my sons under one roof again.
I'm glad you're home.
I am too.
I just- wish Ralph felt the same way.
Hmm, Ralph's a lot like the country around here.
It'll give you sustenance, but it'll darn sure make you work for it.
Doesn't he know how rough that is on Ann? I doubt he's ever thought much about it.
He figures his life hasn't been easy, why should anyone else's? Well, maybe because he loves her.
When did you get to be such an old softy? Yes, he does love her.
Do you still? She's my brother's wife.
That doesn't quite answer my question, does it? No, I don't love her.
I just want them to be happy.
Well, you've made me happy.
And, if you manage to make it rain, you'll make the town happy.
But, Ralph- that just might be a bigger miracle than the rain.
Over here for ya, Billy.
Hey, Billy.
! Beautiful mornin'.
Well, I'd prefer to see a few more clouds in the sky.
Ah, no matter.
That boy of yours says that there's always moisture in the air.
Well, that's true.
There is.
- Just let me pull out the car.
- Now just a minute.
I don't have no $250.
So I brought you what I had.
Whatcha got in there, Norm? Your mama told me you were partial to chicken.
Two pullets and a hen.
It's all I can spare right now.
That's not really necessary.
But I'll give you two more every month until I'm paid up.
And I got a piglet's gonna be a hell of a porker come spring.
Please, save my ranch, Dr.
Beaumont.
Al.
I don't know where the hell you are, but you better get your butt down here and fast! I'm glad you haven't lost your religion, boy.
But you're gonna have to brush up on your prayers some.
In honor of this very special occasion, I'd like to pause forjust a moment, if I might and recognize my apprentice and my assistant, Clinton Levering.
I'd like to ask Clinton, if he wouldn't mind, to prepare the cloud seeding solution for me today.
All right.
Clinton.
Doc? Ah.
Ah.
What? What? Come on.
How many times have you seen me do it? Ah, probably a hundred.
So what's the problem? You ain't never done it the same way twice.
Slight change of plans, this being my hometown and all.
I have decided that I will prepare the cloud seeding solution myself.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We will begin with the silver iodide is always the silver iodide.
Aha.
! And we pour the iodine into here like so and then we stir it with the fork.
See? Well, this is a new way.
What are you doing, Doc? What does it look like? It looks like you're stirring that iodine with a fork.
That I am.
The silver fork makes the silver iodine.
You see? It's very simple.
You feelin' all right? Never felt better.
Feeling very good.
Thank you.
Why? Well, 'cause you usually use this.
If I could have a moment to speak to my apprentice.
Gentlemen, I would appreciate it if you would take this helium.
Ah, there you go.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
And, uh, how about this box of balloons there and stuff and take 'em to, uh, over to the center of- You guys want a little help there? that field.
Yes, that's the field.
Thank you, gentleman.
We'll be right with you.
Have patience.
Clinton, listen you're right.
I am feeling kind of strange.
I - I'm feeling very unsettled.
What do we do with the silver forks? Mostly, we eat with them.
You took 'em in pay from the gent in Alamogordo.
Oh.
And the iodine? Goes in the first aid kit.
Everybody knows that, Sam.
What took you so long? Huh? What took you so long to realize you should be helping the guys with the balloons? You are feelin' strange, huh.
Well? Hmm? I'm exhausted.
What? I'm exhaust - Well, I was up all night, putting the make on this secretary from MIT to get your rain information.
MIT? I-I-I thought Ziggy said you had to tap into Defense? Well, they've got their own computer guarding the gate.
I would have liked to have heard that conversation.
Anyway, yours truly had to do combat duty.
And what did you find out? That girls that wear glasses have lots and lots of energy.
Just let me have it, all right? Whatever you got.
Patience.
Patience and patience.
All right, okay.
I'm ready here.
All right, you got silver iodide? Yes, silver iodide.
Okay, get - Not iodine now! lodide.
All right, put that in there.
Silver iodide.
They told me this is it.
How much? Just throw some in.
Okay.
Good? Hydrochloric acid.
Good.
Hydrochloric acid? Yeah, you got that? Yeah.
This is nasty stuff though, Al.
This is hydrochloric acid.
Course it is.
It's got a skull and crossbones.
How much of this stuff am I supposed to use? I don't know.
Just put it all in.
Holy smokes! All right.
Next, you add the acetone.
How much of this stuff? Uh, I don't know.
Ahh! When you put that in it gets very unstable.
Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll blow up.
Don't whine, Sam.
I'm not whining, I'm just suggesting maybe - Dr.
Beaumont.
- They're ready for you.
- We'll be right in.
All right, boys, nowjust hold her steady.
I'll be with you in just a second.
All right, here we go.
Ah- That should do it.
Okay, about time now to let her up.
Y- You mean just, uh, let-let her go? That's right.
Well, it- It's just gonna float away.
The acetone, Sam.
The acetone goes in with the stuff and it makes it evaporate.
That's not entirely true, sir.
You see? The acetone in the solution causes the solution to evaporate.
Well, what - No, no, no.
No time for any more questions.
We've got to launch it before the solution is wasted.
Oh, amen to that.
Amen to that is right.
Now, the timing is very critical due to the the evaporation per elevation ratio of a liquid.
Oh, here's the time.
Ready? And- Launch it! Ah.
Thing ofbeauty.
Sure hope it works.
* * Ah.
Aw, what are you doing to me here? I haven't seen a meal like this since they passed the Cholesterol Control Act.
So- where's, uh, Ralph? Oh, Lord knows.
Probably over at the store going through the change drawer, biting all the coins.
Now, Annie, I'm sure that Ralph is really a very wonderful man.
Really? Springtime is wonderful.
Sunsets are wonderful.
Babies are wonderful.
Ralph is Ralph.
- Ouch.
- Now just hold on a second.
Now I watched this man work today.
Your husband is keeping half the people in this town in business.
He's got some wonderful qualities.
And he hides them so well.
Well- You know, some people- Ha-Ha-Have you ever looked at a beautiful building? And noticed the columns, and the domes and windows, and, you know, stuff like that? And you never looked at the foundation, did you? Not once.
Never even thought about the foundation.
But without the foundation, the whole building would topple down, and there wouldn't be any more domes, or windows, or columns or- Maybe you should think of Ralph like he was a foundation.
Okay.
Okay? Okay.
He's a pile of posts that are better off buried, and you don't even notice them till they rot.
And then you either replace 'em, or you move on.
Well, thanks, Billy.
I never quite saw it that way.
What was that? Uh,just the- Just the cannon, folks.
Just the cannon, I- You know that analogy you made? I like that.
About the foundation? Yeah, that went over big.
That was great.
No, it didn't.
Why didn't you help me with that? I don't know.
What do you got, Al? Uh, nothing much.
Ziggy's going over weather patterns at the speed of light- but nothing yet.
If I hear anything, I'll tell you.
Why do we even bother? 'Cause that's what we do.
We're professional botherers.
Anyway, Ziggy never said that your method wouldn't work.
Look at these people, Al.
Yeah,you know something? I'll bet they're happier now than they were before you got here.
This is all built on sand.
Huh? I got 'em to have faith in me.
They believe me.
Now what's gonna happen when I let 'em down, huh? Well, they won't be any worse off than they were before.
And they'll have a nice party to remember.
That's not enough.
I gotta do this, Al.
I gotta make it rain.
Now you tell Ziggy to step on it, okay? Maybe it's better if you fall on your face.
That way, Annie won't think you're such a big Mr.
Wonderful.
No.
No, no, no.
The real Billy Beaumont fell on his face, and Annie still ran away with him.
The real Billy Beaumont? Who the hell you talkin' to? Talkin' to myself.
You know, thinkin' out loud.
Is this about Annie runnin' away? She didn't run away.
She's over there.
She didn't run away.
She's over there.
What you tryin' to pull? Think if you act touched folks are gonna let you off the hook when they find you out for the fraud you really are? No, Ralph, I'm not touched, okay? You were talkin' to thin air a minute ago.
Around here we don't call that normal.
It's called imagination.
Something which you know absolutely nothin' about.
You're right, Annie.
What I know is fact.
Here's a fact for you: The barometer in the store isn't goin' down, it's goin' up.
Did you hear that? You don't need a scientist to tell us what that means.
This is bad, Sam.
Now that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
You can't give up now.
It's too soon to give up.
You even see a hint of a cloud up there? Now, folks, don't look with your eyes, look with your hearts.
The rain will come! I'll tell you what.
You know, maybe this batch of cloud-seeding solution isn't gonna bring it, but if it doesn't, we'll just send up another load and- Load! Load is what it is, all right.
All right, now, I want you all to listen to me.
I know this seems crazy, but the most important thing here, more important than the cloud-seeding solution, or the barometer, or the-the-the cannon or anything- The most important thing is that you have faith.
You gotta believe.
Because if you believe, even in the face of your so-called facts, miracles can happen.
I believe, Billy.
- Thank you.
- Go ahead, give 'em hell.
I've got a cannon to fire.
Come on, Annie.
We're goin' home.
No, I'm not.
Annie- Stay out of it.
Ralph Beaumont, if I went home right now, it's to go pack.
You go on now.
I'm stayin'.
It's just gotta rain! No, Sam, it's-it's- It's not gonna happen.
What do we do now? We? Well, yeah.
I figure, you know, usually we'd, uh, be packin' up our gear and gettin' ready to move on.
Don't look like you got your ramblin' shoes on.
Why are you following me, Clinton? 'Cause you're my boss.
What I am is a no-good, two-bit huckster.
I put on this snake oil show, from town to town.
I get people to believe in me, to trust me, and then I leave 'em, and I take their money.
A man's gotta make a livin'.
Not that way.
What's the matter with you? You're young.
You're smart.
If you want to follow somebody around your whole life, follow somebody that's good, somebody that's worthwhile.
Doc, y-you picked me up out of shantytown in East St.
Louis.
I'd never seen a sunrise.
Or-Or bathed in clean water.
Or even had a full belly till I met you.
You taught me how to walk tall.
I think you're plenty worthwhile.
Huh, besides, you know good and damn well I'm waitin' for someday.
Someday? Yeah, someday, you know.
You always tell me, "Clinton, someday this whole thing's gonna work, and the rain's gonna fall.
"And when it does, I'm gonna nail my boots to that patch of ground and turn this whole shootin' match over to ya.
" You believe that? Sure I do.
I believe in you, Doc.
Huh, sounds like I'm not the only one.
Ah, well, I'll be leaving you that, uh space.
All right? I don't know who's running this show.
I don't know why I was chosen.
I bounce around from place to place.
I do everything I'm supposed to do.
At least the best way I can.
But I don't know how to do this one.
I mean, you gotta help me.
Ifigure you owe me for a couple of times anyway.
You make it rain.
You hear me? You make it rain! Please, please, please tell me you have good news for me.
Uh, you don't wanna hear it.
Ah, Al, I flopped today.
I mean, I really flopped.
And I don't want you telling me that you don't have anything on the rain.
E- No, no, nothing about the rain.
Ah, all right.
Well, what about Annie and Ralph? I mean-You know I was thinking.
Maybe if I kinda packed up and slipped away, then maybe it would give them a chance to kinda work things out.
Ye-Well, no.
Given Annie's current state of mind, there's an 81 % chance she's gonna hit the road anyway.
Annie.
I'm not staying here.
Annie, listen to me.
You can't leave.
I swore I wouldn't throw myself at you, Billy, but I don't know what else to do.
Annie, you don't know me.
Billy- I left town eight years ago.
And now I'm back, and it's very exciting.
And all these feelings are coming out, and they're rushing- Once they're gone, you gotta have something left.
You gotta have something real and I'm- I'm sorry, but I- I just can't offer that to you.
Yes, you can.
No.
Now you think there's some Land of Oz on the other side of that hill instead of putting your heart into what you have right here.
A husband who loves you.
A place where you can take your own stand.
I can't tell you what I would give to have that.
But you can have that, Billy.
You and I, we can have that together.
You're my brother's wife.
But I know you love me.
No.
You want her? Take her.
- Good riddance.
- Ralph.
Just hold it, would ya? What the hell is wrong with you? Look who's talkin'.
What kind of a man would throw his wife away like she was last week's newspaper? She don't want me.
How do you know she doesn't want you? When was the last time you did anything that would make her want you? I slave every day of my stinkin' life for her.
You slave every day - You work.
That's all you have is work.
This is a human being we're talking about here.
When was the last time y - you bought her a dress or brought her flowers.
When was the last time you took your wife out under the moonlight and made love to her? Shut up, Billy! Why do you hate me so much? Ever since I got back into this town, I've been getting nothing but hate from you.
You got hate coming out of every pore in your body, Ralph.
You reek of it! How could I hate you? You're " Wonderful Billy," right? "Smart Billy.
" "Handsome Billy Boy," the brother everyone likes.
You can't even say it, can you? Say what? Huh, that you hate me.
You'd just love that, wouldn't ya? Yeah, come on.
Come on, say it.
Because you tell me to? Yeah, because I tell you to.
What are you trying to do? All right, if you can't say that you hate me, then at least say that you love your wife.
- You love Annie.
Say that.
- Don't even bother, Billy.
Come on, Ralph.
Come on, prove to us that you're a human being and not some dead, burned-out shell of a man.
Come on.
There, you happy now? Yeah, I'm starting to feel a little bit better.
Come on.
Oh! Make them stop! Are you kidding? I've waited years for this.
You take your sorry ass and get off this land.
Who's gonna make me? You tell Annie you love her.
Why? So you two can laugh at me behind my back? So you don't love her.
Is that it, huh? More than you ever will.
What'd you say? You heard me! You tell her or I'll kick your butt clean up to your teeth.
- Sam, you're a sneaky devil.
- I loved her in second grade before you ever saw her.
I loved her in high school when she was sweet on you because you played quarterback.
Ahh! Oh! I used to flatten the tires on Daddy's truck so you two couldn't go parking.
Oh! And still you- you took her away from me.
And she was wonderful.
And after- After you left town I still loved her.
I'd hug her and I'd kiss her, and I'd look into her eyes, and they'd be hollow and sad, 'cause I just wasn't you, Billy.
Damn it to hell, I still loved her.
And after I made love to her, and after I'd asked her to marry me, she still wanted you.
And I wished to God that I was you.
I still love her.
Don't tell me.
Tell her.
Ralph.
You're cryin'.
Ahh.
Oh, my God.
Sam! Sam! It's raining! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Doc! Hey, Doc! Look! Doc, we made it rain! Whoo! Clint.
Yeah.
! "Someday" is here.
Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Look at 'em, Al.
Will you stay with us, Billy? Yeah, I'll stay.
Here it comes.
Get ready.
Come on! Ah! Okay, you're clear.
Which way? Which way? Oh, boy.