Reno 911! (2003) s04e09 Episode Script

yes, donut.
yes, donut.
yes, donut.
more like fuck yes, donut.
more like fuck yes, donut.
more like fuck yes, donut.
5% discount for law enforcement.
Arigato! Hey, do I know you? Hey, do I know you? Hey, do I know you? I know you.
I know you.
I know you.
yes.
yes.
yes.
you don't go to the rainbow you don't go to the rainbow you don't go to the rainbow ever, do you? Ever, do you? Ever, do you? mm-mmm.
mm-mmm.
mm-mmm.
no.
no.
no.
you go to any piano bars? No? you go to any piano bars? No? you go to any piano bars? No? no.
Do you have a nickname, no.
Do you have a nickname, no.
Do you have a nickname, cinnamon? Cinnamon? Cinnamon? no.
Not that.
I have some no.
Not that.
I have some no.
Not that.
I have some nicknames, but not that.
Nicknames, but not that.
Nicknames, but not that.
oh.
oh.
oh.
hey.
Oh, I got it.
I got it.
hey.
Oh, I got it.
I got it.
hey.
Oh, I got it.
I got it.
UhUhThat cruise.
UhUhThat cruise.
UhUhThat cruise.
That sort of specialty cruise? That sort of specialty cruise? That sort of specialty cruise? no.
I've never been no.
I've never been no.
I've never been on a cruise.
On a cruise.
On a cruise.
you didn't go on a specialty you didn't go on a specialty you didn't go on a specialty cruise? I've seen you somewhere.
Cruise? I've seen you somewhere.
Cruise? I've seen you somewhere.
it's nice to meet you again.
it's nice to meet you again.
it's nice to meet you again.
great meeting you and seeing great meeting you and seeing great meeting you and seeing you again.
You again.
You again.
I'll see you around.
I'll see you around.
I'll see you around.
see ya.
see ya.
see ya.
all right, let's be cool! all right, let's be cool! all right, let's be cool! You're cool, I don't freak You're cool, I don't freak You're cool, I don't freak out! Empty the register! Out! Empty the register! Out! Empty the register! [gunshot.]
[gunshot.]
[gunshot.]
wanted poster.
Wanted poster wanted poster.
Wanted poster wanted poster.
Wanted poster at the post office.
At the post office.
At the post office.
mtv networks.]
did somebody take my orange? did somebody take my orange? did somebody take my orange? Trudy: Yeah.
I ate it.
Trudy: Yeah.
I ate it.
Trudy: Yeah.
I ate it.
Rai: Trudy.
Rai: Trudy.
Rai: Trudy.
uh, you know, I wanted to uh, you know, I wanted to uh, you know, I wanted to ask you is--this weekend I'm Ask you is--this weekend I'm Ask you is--this weekend I'm having a--well, every weekend, Having a--well, every weekend, Having a--well, every weekend, basically, I do a mixer, a Basically, I do a mixer, a Basically, I do a mixer, a little social singles mixer.
And Little social singles mixer.
And Little social singles mixer.
And I just thought it'd be nice to I just thought it'd be nice to I just thought it'd be nice to ask if you wanted to come along Ask if you wanted to come along Ask if you wanted to come along this weekend.
This weekend.
This weekend.
oh.
oh.
oh.
it's a good time.
I mean, we it's a good time.
I mean, we it's a good time.
I mean, we get crazy.
Get crazy.
Get crazy.
yes.
yes.
yes.
oh, that's great.
oh, that's great.
oh, that's great.
are you all dating? are you all dating? are you all dating? oh, shut up.
oh, shut up.
oh, shut up.
I'm just asking.
You only I'm just asking.
You only I'm just asking.
You only asked one person.
That sounds Asked one person.
That sounds Asked one person.
That sounds like a date.
Like a date.
Like a date.
I'm only allowed to ask one I'm only allowed to ask one I'm only allowed to ask one person.
And no, it is not a Person.
And no, it is not a Person.
And no, it is not a date.
Date.
Date.
and you asked a woman.
You and you asked a woman.
You and you asked a woman.
You asked another woman.
Asked another woman.
Asked another woman.
I asked a woman, and I'll I asked a woman, and I'll I asked a woman, and I'll tell you why.
Because there are Tell you why.
Because there are Tell you why.
Because there are a lot of gentlemen there.
A lot of gentlemen there.
A lot of gentlemen there.
I can't go anyway.
I'm I can't go anyway.
I'm I can't go anyway.
I'm having a make-out party at my Having a make-out party at my Having a make-out party at my house, so I guess you guys won't House, so I guess you guys won't House, so I guess you guys won't be able to come.
It's gonna be Be able to come.
It's gonna be Be able to come.
It's gonna be pretty hot.
I rented a couple of Pretty hot.
I rented a couple of Pretty hot.
I rented a couple of lava lamps.
It's gonna be Lava lamps.
It's gonna be Lava lamps.
It's gonna be sweet.
Sheriff's department.
Sheriff's department.
Sheriff's department.
mike, you home? mike, you home? mike, you home? mike? Brenda? Mike? mike? Brenda? Mike? mike? Brenda? Mike? aw, jeez.
Aw shit aw, jeez.
Aw shit aw, jeez.
Aw shit mike? mike? mike? mike? Mike? Oh, my god.
mike? Mike? Oh, my god.
mike? Mike? Oh, my god.
You ok, mike? Mike? Mike! You ok, mike? Mike? Mike! You ok, mike? Mike? Mike! get a paramedic.
Get a get a paramedic.
Get a get a paramedic.
Get a paramedic.
Paramedic.
Paramedic.
mike.
Mike.
Mike? Mike? mike.
Mike.
Mike? Mike? mike.
Mike.
Mike? Mike? Come on, mike.
Come on, mike.
Come on, mike.
No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Mike! No.
Jeez.
Cut it out! No! Mike! No.
Jeez.
Cut it out! No! Mike! No.
Jeez.
Cut it out! mike! Mike! Mike! No! mike! Mike! Mike! No! mike! Mike! Mike! No! god damn it! God damn it! god damn it! God damn it! god damn it! God damn it! you all right? you all right? you all right? that was weird.
I thought he that was weird.
I thought he that was weird.
I thought he was someone else.
In my Was someone else.
In my Was someone else.
In my pass-out, dream had.
Pass-out, dream had.
Pass-out, dream had.
the tongue part came out when the tongue part came out when the tongue part came out when you thought I was someone else, You thought I was someone else, You thought I was someone else, huh? Huh? Huh? I guess so.
I guess so.
I guess so.
mike, who did you exactly mike, who did you exactly mike, who did you exactly think I was? Think I was? Think I was? I got this super-hot cousin, I got this super-hot cousin, I got this super-hot cousin, carla.
Carla.
Carla.
crystal meth just eats the crystal meth just eats the crystal meth just eats the brain.
Eats the brain.
It ain't Brain.
Eats the brain.
It ain't Brain.
Eats the brain.
It ain't even funny.
Even funny.
Even funny.
mike, can I show you a mike, can I show you a mike, can I show you a picture? Mike, look here.
Ok, Picture? Mike, look here.
Ok, Picture? Mike, look here.
Ok, here's your brain.
Here's your brain.
Here's your brain.
Mike: Right.
Mike: Right.
Mike: Right.
this is your brain, you see? this is your brain, you see? this is your brain, you see? that is a giant brain.
Look that is a giant brain.
Look that is a giant brain.
Look at that.
That's a giant brain.
At that.
That's a giant brain.
At that.
That's a giant brain.
Hey, everybody, it's mike's Hey, everybody, it's mike's Hey, everybody, it's mike's giant brain.
Giant brain.
Giant brain.
you're missing the point, you're missing the point, you're missing the point, mike.
You're missing the point.
Mike.
You're missing the point.
Mike.
You're missing the point.
he's not drawing it to scale.
he's not drawing it to scale.
he's not drawing it to scale.
He's trying to illustrate a He's trying to illustrate a He's trying to illustrate a percentage.
Percentage.
Percentage.
Mike: Galoop! It's all in there.
Mike: Galoop! It's all in there.
Mike: Galoop! It's all in there.
Thinking, working, making a Thinking, working, making a Thinking, working, making a moat, partying down.
Woo! Doing Moat, partying down.
Woo! Doing Moat, partying down.
Woo! Doing it up.
It up.
It up.
kind of whistle.
kind of whistle.
kind of whistle.
here's what happens.
Here's here's what happens.
Here's here's what happens.
Here's crystal meth, ok? You know that Crystal meth, ok? You know that Crystal meth, ok? You know that meth that you cook up sometimes Meth that you cook up sometimes Meth that you cook up sometimes out there? Out there? Out there? no.
no.
no.
it goes like this.
it goes like this.
it goes like this.
see that? Scrambled.
see that? Scrambled.
see that? Scrambled.
oh, no.
Where's all my oh, no.
Where's all my oh, no.
Where's all my productive thoughts? Productive thoughts? Productive thoughts? here's mike's giant brain.
here's mike's giant brain.
here's mike's giant brain.
See? Whoo! It's crystal meth See? Whoo! It's crystal meth See? Whoo! It's crystal meth all in here.
Look at all this All in here.
Look at all this All in here.
Look at all this area that is untouched.
nice parking, man.
I can't nice parking, man.
I can't nice parking, man.
I can't get out.
Get out.
Get out.
you all right? you all right? you all right? oh, well, look who's here.
oh, well, look who's here.
oh, well, look who's here.
It's the police.
It's the police.
It's the police.
we've been getting calls we've been getting calls we've been getting calls we've had about three or four we've had about three or four we've had about three or four calls that there was something Calls that there was something Calls that there was something going on here in the park.
Going on here in the park.
Going on here in the park.
neighbors across the street neighbors across the street neighbors across the street have been complaining about some Have been complaining about some Have been complaining about some sort of weird behavior.
Sort of weird behavior.
Sort of weird behavior.
no.
No, not at all.
I'm here no.
No, not at all.
I'm here no.
No, not at all.
I'm here talking to people about a Talking to people about a Talking to people about a program I offer.
But certainly Program I offer.
But certainly Program I offer.
But certainly there's nothing going on that There's nothing going on that There's nothing going on that would be considered untoward.
Would be considered untoward.
Would be considered untoward.
Well, I hope you find the Well, I hope you find the Well, I hope you find the person.
And I'd better get Person.
And I'd better get Person.
And I'd better get going.
Going.
Going.
whoa, ho, ho, whoa.
whoa, ho, ho, whoa.
whoa, ho, ho, whoa.
people my age have to stay people my age have to stay people my age have to stay ambulatory.
Ambulatory.
Ambulatory.
sir, if you wouldn't mind sir, if you wouldn't mind sir, if you wouldn't mind being non-ambulatory for one Being non-ambulatory for one Being non-ambulatory for one second.
Could you tell us about Second.
Could you tell us about Second.
Could you tell us about your program? Your program? Your program? what is your program, sir? what is your program, sir? what is your program, sir? nothing at all.
I'm nothing at all.
I'm nothing at all.
I'm processing payments for Processing payments for Processing payments for cryogenics so no one ever has Cryogenics so no one ever has Cryogenics so no one ever has to die.
That's all.
To die.
That's all.
To die.
That's all.
can I get some can I get some can I get some identification? Identification? Identification? maybe a permit for your maybe a permit for your maybe a permit for your program.
A little I.
D.
Program.
A little I.
D.
Program.
A little I.
D.
a license.
a license.
a license.
I don't carry identification.
I don't carry identification.
I don't carry identification.
Having lived through the Having lived through the Having lived through the depression, we don't--a lot of Depression, we don't--a lot of Depression, we don't--a lot of people my age--believe in the People my age--believe in the People my age--believe in the identification, with the failure Identification, with the failure Identification, with the failure of the banks which occurred.
Of the banks which occurred.
Of the banks which occurred.
Good day, gentlemen.
Good day, gentlemen.
Good day, gentlemen.
the depression the depression the depression the depression was in 1930, the depression was in 1930, the depression was in 1930, sir.
Sir.
Sir.
yes.
Very good.
1930s.
The yes.
Very good.
1930s.
The yes.
Very good.
1930s.
The golden age of hollywood.
Golden age of hollywood.
Golden age of hollywood.
yeah, I think what's crashed yeah, I think what's crashed yeah, I think what's crashed is your mind.
Is your mind.
Is your mind.
what--say it again now.
what--say it again now.
what--say it again now.
you couldn't be that old, you couldn't be that old, you couldn't be that old, sir.
You're probably Sir.
You're probably Sir.
You're probably you're telling a fib.
you're telling a fib.
you're telling a fib.
can I be honest with you? can I be honest with you? can I be honest with you? yes, you can.
We'd like that.
yes, you can.
We'd like that.
yes, you can.
We'd like that.
there you go.
there you go.
there you go.
I'm not as old as I'm I'm not as old as I'm I'm not as old as I'm behaving that I am? Behaving that I am? Behaving that I am? yeah.
Thank you for using yeah.
Thank you for using yeah.
Thank you for using your voice, your real voice.
Your voice, your real voice.
Your voice, your real voice.
you like to do fantasies.
you like to do fantasies.
you like to do fantasies.
uh, shooting.
uh, shooting.
uh, shooting.
hold! hold! hold! ok.
Here we go.
ok.
Here we go.
ok.
Here we go.
oh, jeez, you guys are fast.
oh, jeez, you guys are fast.
oh, jeez, you guys are fast.
what are you doing? This is what are you doing? This is what are you doing? This is not an approved carry of a Not an approved carry of a Not an approved carry of a suspect, is it? Suspect, is it? Suspect, is it? this is humiliating.
this is humiliating.
this is humiliating.
Can I just walk? Can I just walk? Can I just walk? >>can you walk? >>can you walk? >>can you walk? >>don't you try to run.
>>don't you try to run.
>>don't you try to run.
>>why would I try to run? >>why would I try to run? >>why would I try to run? I'd be happy to walk.
I'd be happy to walk.
I'd be happy to walk.
>>no! No! ♪ go tell it, go tell it, ♪ go tell it, go tell it, ♪ go tell it, go tell it, yo, go tell it on the mountain, Yo, go tell it on the mountain, Yo, go tell it on the mountain, down in a lowly manger, the Down in a lowly manger, the Down in a lowly manger, the humble christ was born, and god Humble christ was born, and god Humble christ was born, and god sent us salvation ♪ Sent us salvation ♪ Sent us salvation ♪ yeah! yeah! yeah! ♪ that blessed christmas ♪ that blessed christmas ♪ that blessed christmas morn, go tell it, go tell it, Morn, go tell it, go tell it, Morn, go tell it, go tell it, yo, go tell it on the mountain, Yo, go tell it on the mountain, Yo, go tell it on the mountain, go tell it, go tell it, yo, go Go tell it, go tell it, yo, go Go tell it, go tell it, yo, go tell it on the mountain, word ♪ Tell it on the mountain, word ♪ Tell it on the mountain, word ♪ I love hip-hop.
I love hip-hop.
I love hip-hop.
it's fun, isn't it? Don't it's fun, isn't it? Don't it's fun, isn't it? Don't forget.
We have christ cakes Forget.
We have christ cakes Forget.
We have christ cakes and sandwiches and lots of stuff And sandwiches and lots of stuff And sandwiches and lots of stuff to drink.
To drink.
To drink.
knockers.
Knockers.
knockers.
Knockers.
knockers.
Knockers.
uh-oh.
uh-oh.
uh-oh.
every--come here.
Come here.
every--come here.
Come here.
every--come here.
Come here.
Everybody, I have--this is not Everybody, I have--this is not Everybody, I have--this is not an angel, although I know it An angel, although I know it An angel, although I know it looks like it.
Looks like it.
Looks like it.
it's definitely not an angel.
it's definitely not an angel.
it's definitely not an angel.
I want y'all to meet my I want y'all to meet my I want y'all to meet my good friend, clementine.
Some Good friend, clementine.
Some Good friend, clementine.
Some people call her clemmie.
Now, People call her clemmie.
Now, People call her clemmie.
Now, this is paul, my good friend.
This is paul, my good friend.
This is paul, my good friend.
That's james.
That's james.
That's james.
Clemmie: Stetson.
I like Clemmie: Stetson.
I like Clemmie: Stetson.
I like that.
That.
That.
is that what this is you're is that what this is you're is that what this is you're wearing? Wearing? Wearing? head and shoulders.
head and shoulders.
head and shoulders.
Oh, yes.
Wow.
I didn't know this Oh, yes.
Wow.
I didn't know this Oh, yes.
Wow.
I didn't know this was gonna be this kind of a Was gonna be this kind of a Was gonna be this kind of a party.
Yeah.
Party.
Yeah.
Party.
Yeah.
yeah, well, we're not all yeah, well, we're not all yeah, well, we're not all square.
Square.
Square.
well, I like that.
So, well, I like that.
So, well, I like that.
So, who's a virgin? I'm just Who's a virgin? I'm just Who's a virgin? I'm just curious.
Ok, you can be on her Curious.
Ok, you can be on her Curious.
Ok, you can be on her team.
You can be on her team.
Team.
You can be on her team.
Team.
You can be on her team.
♪ on a hill far away, stood ♪ on a hill far away, stood ♪ on a hill far away, stood an old rugged cross, the emblem An old rugged cross, the emblem An old rugged cross, the emblem of suffering and shame ♪ Of suffering and shame ♪ Of suffering and shame ♪ but I was so top-heavy that but I was so top-heavy that but I was so top-heavy that it made me--I was disqualified It made me--I was disqualified It made me--I was disqualified before I even got on the mat Before I even got on the mat Before I even got on the mat sometimes.
Sometimes.
Sometimes.
they wouldn't let you on the they wouldn't let you on the they wouldn't let you on the mat? Mat? Mat? 'cause it was like "poof" 'cause it was like "poof" 'cause it was like "poof" and then "paah" and then there And then "paah" and then there And then "paah" and then there was--you know.
So I said Was--you know.
So I said Was--you know.
So I said fuck it.
I'll just drop out Fuck it.
I'll just drop out Fuck it.
I'll just drop out of high school.
Of high school.
Of high school.
♪ so I'll cherish the old ♪ so I'll cherish the old ♪ so I'll cherish the old rugged cross, the old rugged Rugged cross, the old rugged Rugged cross, the old rugged cross ♪ Cross ♪ Cross ♪ pull my finger.
[belches.]
pull my finger.
[belches.]
pull my finger.
[belches.]
here's the church.
Here's the Here's the church.
Here's the Here's the church.
Here's the steeple.
Open the doors.
See all Steeple.
Open the doors.
See all Steeple.
Open the doors.
See all the people.
And these two guys The people.
And these two guys The people.
And these two guys won't sit down.
lord, I wanna thank you lord, I wanna thank you lord, I wanna thank you especially for my good friend, Especially for my good friend, Especially for my good friend, clementine, coming here and Clementine, coming here and Clementine, coming here and showing up as she is.
Showing up as she is.
Showing up as she is.
man: Mm-hmm.
man: Mm-hmm.
man: Mm-hmm.
a woman soiled, a woman with a woman soiled, a woman with a woman soiled, a woman with a whorish, sinful past.
A whorish, sinful past.
A whorish, sinful past.
who has just been waxed who has just been waxed who has just been waxed thoroughly, as of 4 p.
M.
Today.
Thoroughly, as of 4 p.
M.
Today.
Thoroughly, as of 4 p.
M.
Today.
You may all lay your hands upon You may all lay your hands upon You may all lay your hands upon me.
Would anyone like to lay Me.
Would anyone like to lay Me.
Would anyone like to lay hands? Hands? Hands? Cheresa: That's a different Cheresa: That's a different Cheresa: That's a different You must be thinking of a diff-- You must be thinking of a diff-- You must be thinking of a diff-- or touch my garment.
Lord, or touch my garment.
Lord, or touch my garment.
Lord, will you please smite those Will you please smite those Will you please smite those mother fuckers Mother fuckers Mother fuckers that mess around with That mess around with That mess around with children.
I'm sorry.
I Children.
I'm sorry.
I Children.
I'm sorry.
I personally don't like children Personally don't like children Personally don't like children myself, but they don't deserve Myself, but they don't deserve Myself, but they don't deserve that, ok? I want you to send a That, ok? I want you to send a That, ok? I want you to send a lightning bolt.
.
Out of their Lightning bolt.
.
Out of their Lightning bolt.
.
Out of their assholes lord.
And rapists too.
Assholes lord.
And rapists too.
Assholes lord.
And rapists too.
Lord, set them on fire with Lord, set them on fire with Lord, set them on fire with fiery syphilis so that they pee Fiery syphilis so that they pee Fiery syphilis so that they pee fire out of their dickholes.
Fire out of their dickholes.
Fire out of their dickholes.
[belches.]
sorry.
That was [belches.]
sorry.
That was [belches.]
sorry.
That was probably very stinky.
Probably very stinky.
Probably very stinky.
very good job.
very good job.
very good job.
that was very good.
that was very good.
that was very good.
whoo-hoo! whoo-hoo! whoo-hoo! yes! Yeah! yes! Yeah! yes! Yeah! I cheated.
I cheated.
I I cheated.
I cheated.
I I cheated.
I cheated.
I cheated.
Ohh! Whoo! I'm so Cheated.
Ohh! Whoo! I'm so Cheated.
Ohh! Whoo! I'm so wasted.
I'm wasted.
I'm wasted.
Wasted.
I'm wasted.
I'm wasted.
Wasted.
I'm wasted.
I'm wasted.
[snorts.]
[snorts.]
[snorts.]
it's nonalcoholic beer.
it's nonalcoholic beer.
it's nonalcoholic beer.
there's no alcohol in it.
[hip-hop playing loudly.]
[hip-hop playing loudly.]
[hip-hop playing loudly.]
do you mind turning the music do you mind turning the music do you mind turning the music down? Turn the music dow-- Down? Turn the music dow-- Down? Turn the music dow-- [music turns off.]
[music turns off.]
[music turns off.]
thank you.
Can I see your thank you.
Can I see your thank you.
Can I see your license and registration, proof License and registration, proof License and registration, proof of insurance? Lady called us up, Of insurance? Lady called us up, Of insurance? Lady called us up, and she was just mad as hell And she was just mad as hell And she was just mad as hell 'cause a couple of kids were 'cause a couple of kids were 'cause a couple of kids were drag racing.
Just about blew her Drag racing.
Just about blew her Drag racing.
Just about blew her off the road right down here.
Off the road right down here.
Off the road right down here.
woman: Really? Wow.
woman: Really? Wow.
woman: Really? Wow.
yeah.
Wow.
You wouldn't know yeah.
Wow.
You wouldn't know yeah.
Wow.
You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? Anything about that, would you? Anything about that, would you? no, I wouldn't, officer.
I'm no, I wouldn't, officer.
I'm no, I wouldn't, officer.
I'm just on my way home from bible Just on my way home from bible Just on my way home from bible study.
Study.
Study.
bible study.
bible study.
bible study.
mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
mm-hmm.
yeah.
Holy shit.
You have yeah.
Holy shit.
You have yeah.
Holy shit.
You have a computer screen on your A computer screen on your A computer screen on your steering wheel.
Do you know you Steering wheel.
Do you know you Steering wheel.
Do you know you have a computer screen on your Have a computer screen on your Have a computer screen on your steering wheel? 1, 2, 5--ok, Steering wheel? 1, 2, 5--ok, Steering wheel? 1, 2, 5--ok, what's that one do? What's that one do? What's that one do? that one's for my sound.
It that one's for my sound.
It that one's for my sound.
It controls the front, back, side Controls the front, back, side Controls the front, back, side to side.
And then I got my mids To side.
And then I got my mids To side.
And then I got my mids and my highs separated out into And my highs separated out into And my highs separated out into each door here.
The mid down Each door here.
The mid down Each door here.
The mid down here at the base of the door, Here at the base of the door, Here at the base of the door, and my tweeters are up here by And my tweeters are up here by And my tweeters are up here by the rearview window panel.
The rearview window panel.
The rearview window panel.
you know that your you know that your you know that your speedometer goes up to 260? Speedometer goes up to 260? Speedometer goes up to 260? yeah.
The car can do 200.
yeah.
The car can do 200.
yeah.
The car can do 200.
this is a toyota, right? this is a toyota, right? this is a toyota, right? that's right.
that's right.
that's right.
bible study.
bible study.
bible study.
and choir practice, actually.
and choir practice, actually.
and choir practice, actually.
oh! What's that? oh! What's that? oh! What's that? that's the ni system.
that's the ni system.
that's the ni system.
what's that? what's that? what's that? nitrous.
It brings the nitrous.
It brings the nitrous.
It brings the nitrous up from the back.
Nitrous up from the back.
Nitrous up from the back.
oh, nitrous.
Like in that oh, nitrous.
Like in that oh, nitrous.
Like in that movie.
Ok, what's that do? So Movie.
Ok, what's that do? So Movie.
Ok, what's that do? So you got it hooked up to that big You got it hooked up to that big You got it hooked up to that big thing.
Thing.
Thing.
that's the turbo system.
that's the turbo system.
that's the turbo system.
now, that I recognize.
now, that I recognize.
now, that I recognize.
I took out the old turbo I took out the old turbo I took out the old turbo system and put in a brand-new System and put in a brand-new System and put in a brand-new t3/t4 system.
A boost controller T3/t4 system.
A boost controller T3/t4 system.
A boost controller and an f-con computer system And an f-con computer system And an f-con computer system right there.
Right there.
Right there.
goddamn.
I'm gonna go round goddamn.
I'm gonna go round goddamn.
I'm gonna go round this curve.
There's straightaway This curve.
There's straightaway This curve.
There's straightaway right there.
Come on.
Right there.
Come on.
Right there.
Come on.
honey, there's a lot of honey, there's a lot of honey, there's a lot of juice in this car.
You can't Juice in this car.
You can't Juice in this car.
You can't handle the juice in this car.
Handle the juice in this car.
Handle the juice in this car.
there are a lot of tickets in there are a lot of tickets in there are a lot of tickets in that trunk, and you can't handle That trunk, and you can't handle That trunk, and you can't handle the tickets.
The tickets.
The tickets.
gas, clutch, like a regular gas, clutch, like a regular gas, clutch, like a regular transmission.
Transmission.
Transmission.
right.
right.
right.
push this red switch when I push this red switch when I push this red switch when I go, and that puts-- Go, and that puts-- Go, and that puts-- only when you're in full only when you're in full only when you're in full throttle, when you're on the Throttle, when you're on the Throttle, when you're on the full back on the accelerator.
Full back on the accelerator.
Full back on the accelerator.
all right, all right.
all right, all right.
all right, all right.
wanna go over it with me one wanna go over it with me one wanna go over it with me one more time? More time? More time? no, I don't wanna go over no, I don't wanna go over no, I don't wanna go over it with you one more time.
It with you one more time.
It with you one more time.
ok, ok.
ok, ok.
ok, ok.
all right, ready to go.
all right, ready to go.
all right, ready to go.
I'm gonna switch this.
I'm I'm gonna switch this.
I'm I'm gonna switch this.
I'm gonna turn the stereo off.
I'm Gonna turn the stereo off.
I'm Gonna turn the stereo off.
I'm going to start the car.
oh, my god.
here's your, uh, insurance.
here's your, uh, insurance.
here's your, uh, insurance.
are you ok in there? are you ok in there? are you ok in there? I--I--I ain't great.
I'm sorry.
I saw what looked I'm sorry.
I saw what looked I'm sorry.
I saw what looked like beer, and my mind just took Like beer, and my mind just took Like beer, and my mind just took me to drunk town.
All right? I Me to drunk town.
All right? I Me to drunk town.
All right? I like to have fun.
Like to have fun.
Like to have fun.
you call that fun? you call that fun? you call that fun? I call it as much fun as I'm I call it as much fun as I'm I call it as much fun as I'm able to have in, you know, a Able to have in, you know, a Able to have in, you know, a roomful of nerds.
Roomful of nerds.
Roomful of nerds.
oh, that is not fair.
We oh, that is not fair.
We oh, that is not fair.
We have a good time.
I've nothing Have a good time.
I've nothing Have a good time.
I've nothing to apologize for or be To apologize for or be To apologize for or be embarrassed about.
It's you.
Embarrassed about.
It's you.
Embarrassed about.
It's you.
Exposing yourself.
Getting one Exposing yourself.
Getting one Exposing yourself.
Getting one of the other men to expose Of the other men to expose Of the other men to expose himself? Himself? Himself? I am not responsible for him.
I am not responsible for him.
I am not responsible for him.
he is not even gonna be he is not even gonna be he is not even gonna be able to show his face again.
Able to show his face again.
Able to show his face again.
yes, you are.
yes, you are.
yes, you are.
I'm not apologizing.
I'm not apologizing.
I'm not apologizing.
yes, you are.
yes, you are.
yes, you are.
You made those two men kiss each You made those two men kiss each You made those two men kiss each other.
Other.
Other.
I did not make them.
I dared I did not make them.
I dared I did not make them.
I dared them.
Doctor: Hello.
Doctor: Hello.
Doctor: Hello.
steve.
steve.
steve.
hey.
hey.
hey.
anybody wanna venture a anybody wanna venture a anybody wanna venture a guess? Guessing game starts now.
Guess? Guessing game starts now.
Guess? Guessing game starts now.
Go.
Go.
Go.
it is an appliance? it is an appliance? it is an appliance? no.
Cold.
no.
Cold.
no.
Cold.
cold.
cold.
cold.
I'm gonna wager a boot.
I'm gonna wager a boot.
I'm gonna wager a boot.
no.
Cold.
no.
Cold.
no.
Cold.
boot was good.
boot was good.
boot was good.
a lot of people do this.
a lot of people do this.
a lot of people do this.
They slip.
Is that a shower They slip.
Is that a shower They slip.
Is that a shower caddie? Caddie? Caddie? no.
No, no.
no.
No, no.
no.
No, no.
was the thing the cause of was the thing the cause of was the thing the cause of his death? His death? His death? no, no, no.
no, no, no.
no, no, no.
All: No! All: No! All: No! natural causes, actually.
natural causes, actually.
natural causes, actually.
natural causes.
natural causes.
natural causes.
separate incident.
separate incident.
separate incident.
it's one of those ergonomic it's one of those ergonomic it's one of those ergonomic stadium seats? Stadium seats? Stadium seats? rollerblade.
Rollerblade.
rollerblade.
Rollerblade.
rollerblade.
Rollerblade.
that's warm.
that's warm.
that's warm.
you know what would feel good you know what would feel good you know what would feel good in that area? Some kind of In that area? Some kind of In that area? Some kind of rubber hippo.
Rubber hippo.
Rubber hippo.
one of the new--they got the one of the new--they got the one of the new--they got the new sony playstation that's got New sony playstation that's got New sony playstation that's got the vibrating-- The vibrating-- The vibrating-- vibrate mode.
Stick it up vibrate mode.
Stick it up vibrate mode.
Stick it up there.
Somebody else plays your There.
Somebody else plays your There.
Somebody else plays your man for you.
Man for you.
Man for you.
xbox.
Xbox in a box.
xbox.
Xbox in a box.
xbox.
Xbox in a box.
I was sort of half listening, I was sort of half listening, I was sort of half listening, but the part that was listening But the part that was listening But the part that was listening says no.
Says no.
Says no.
is it a game? is it a game? is it a game? is it as plaything? is it as plaything? is it as plaything? I give up.
Let's see it.
I give up.
Let's see it.
I give up.
Let's see it.
Let's see it.
Let's do it.
Let's see it.
Let's do it.
Let's see it.
Let's do it.
All: Ohh! All: Ohh! All: Ohh! yes! yes! yes! who gets dinner? who gets dinner? who gets dinner? rai: Let's do another one.
rai: Let's do another one.
rai: Let's do another one.
you guys stay here.
We'll you guys stay here.
We'll you guys stay here.
We'll get another body.
Get another body.
Get another body.
[all cheering.]
cheresa, will you lead us in cheresa, will you lead us in cheresa, will you lead us in a song? A song? A song? oh, I guess I can.
I guess I oh, I guess I can.
I guess I oh, I guess I can.
I guess I can.
All right, everybody.
Let's Can.
All right, everybody.
Let's Can.
All right, everybody.
Let's lay our burdens down by the Lay our burdens down by the Lay our burdens down by the riverside.
What do you think of Riverside.
What do you think of Riverside.
What do you think of that? I know you like it.
♪ I'm That? I know you like it.
♪ I'm That? I know you like it.
♪ I'm gonna lay down my burden, Gonna lay down my burden, Gonna lay down my burden, where? Down by the riverside, Where? Down by the riverside, Where? Down by the riverside, yeah, down by the riverside, and Yeah, down by the riverside, and Yeah, down by the riverside, and I ain't gonna study war I ain't gonna study war I ain't gonna study war no more ♪ No more ♪ No more ♪ hey, you guys.
The holy hey, you guys.
The holy hey, you guys.
The holy terror's here.
Terror's here.
Terror's here.
Man: Oh, look who it is.
Man: Oh, look who it is.
Man: Oh, look who it is.
I'm late.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I'm late.
I'm sorry I'm late.
I'm late.
I'm sorry I'm late.
hey.
hey.
hey.
aw, man.
It is impossible to aw, man.
It is impossible to aw, man.
It is impossible to find limes this time of year.
Find limes this time of year.
Find limes this time of year.
Man: They're out of season.
Man: They're out of season.
Man: They're out of season.
clemmie: What is up, clemmie: What is up, clemmie: What is up, gentlemen? Gentlemen? Gentlemen? we're having a baptism we're having a baptism we're having a baptism today.
Today.
Today.
I thought it was a barbecue.
I thought it was a barbecue.
I thought it was a barbecue.
I brought tequila.
I brought tequila.
I brought tequila.
very happy to see you.
very happy to see you.
very happy to see you.
yeah, even if you are a half yeah, even if you are a half yeah, even if you are a half an hour late, you know.
The lord An hour late, you know.
The lord An hour late, you know.
The lord is glad you're here.
Is glad you're here.
Is glad you're here.
you're gonna do that to me? you're gonna do that to me? you're gonna do that to me? You're gonna give me the ol' You're gonna give me the ol' You're gonna give me the ol' holy dunkin'? Holy bathing? Holy dunkin'? Holy bathing? Holy dunkin'? Holy bathing? if that's what you want.
if that's what you want.
if that's what you want.
'cause I did it once, but I 'cause I did it once, but I 'cause I did it once, but I don't think it took 'cause I was Don't think it took 'cause I was Don't think it took 'cause I was a little high.
A little high.
A little high.
I think you're probably I think you're probably I think you're probably right.
Now, why don't Right.
Now, why don't Right.
Now, why don't you--there's toilets over there.
You--there's toilets over there.
You--there's toilets over there.
Why don't you go throw that on.
Why don't you go throw that on.
Why don't you go throw that on.
saved.
Saved.
saved.
Saved.
saved.
Saved.
I can't believe I'm doing I can't believe I'm doing I can't believe I'm doing this again.
dunk it.
Dunk it.
Dunk it.
dunk it.
Dunk it.
Dunk it.
dunk it.
Dunk it.
Dunk it.
Whoo! ♪ kimball and jesus ♪ All right.
Whoa.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, boy.
Whoa.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, boy.
Whoa.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, boy.
congratulations.
congratulations.
congratulations.
oopsy daisy.
oopsy daisy.
oopsy daisy.
that's okay.
that's okay.
that's okay.
I didn't know you had to I didn't know you had to I didn't know you had to bring underwear to a baptism.
Bring underwear to a baptism.
Bring underwear to a baptism.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
the babies are naked when the babies are naked when the babies are naked when they get baptism.
They get baptism.
They get baptism.
church people.
I just don't church people.
I just don't church people.
I just don't get it, man.
Get it, man.
Get it, man.
well, babies don't have well, babies don't have well, babies don't have double-d hooters.
Double-d hooters.
Double-d hooters.
well, neither do I.
They're well, neither do I.
They're well, neither do I.
They're only 1-d.
Only 1-d.
Only 1-d.
see? see? see? I was born naked.
I was saved I was born naked.
I was saved I was born naked.
I was saved naked.
And I'm gonna die naked.
Naked.
And I'm gonna die naked.
Naked.
And I'm gonna die naked.
And then I'll be naked for all And then I'll be naked for all And then I'll be naked for all eternity.
[blows raspberry.]
so I'm getting a pool going so I'm getting a pool going so I'm getting a pool going on wiegel's baby.
You wanna hear On wiegel's baby.
You wanna hear On wiegel's baby.
You wanna hear what the categories are? It's What the categories are? It's What the categories are? It's made up completely.
Made up completely.
Made up completely.
yeah.
That's my money.
yeah.
That's my money.
yeah.
That's my money.
child of the devil.
Raped by child of the devil.
Raped by child of the devil.
Raped by a demon.
Literally of the devil.
A demon.
Literally of the devil.
A demon.
Literally of the devil.
you got to figure a demon can you got to figure a demon can you got to figure a demon can get better than wiegel.
Get better than wiegel.
Get better than wiegel.
true.
His dark lordship? true.
His dark lordship? true.
His dark lordship? coming all the way up from coming all the way up from coming all the way up from hell, why would you stop at Hell, why would you stop at Hell, why would you stop at wiegel's place? Wiegel's place? Wiegel's place? true.
You know.
thank you, matthew.
All thank you, matthew.
All thank you, matthew.
All right, let's shake it out.
We're Right, let's shake it out.
We're Right, let's shake it out.
We're gonna do a little kegeling.
Some Gonna do a little kegeling.
Some Gonna do a little kegeling.
Some of you know what kegeling is.
Of you know what kegeling is.
Of you know what kegeling is.
For those of you that don't, For those of you that don't, For those of you that don't, it's contracting your vaginal It's contracting your vaginal It's contracting your vaginal muscles.
And I think you've Muscles.
And I think you've Muscles.
And I think you've probably done it and haven't Probably done it and haven't Probably done it and haven't even been aware.
But just flex Even been aware.
But just flex Even been aware.
But just flex 'em to a little "axel f.
" 'em to a little "axel f.
" 'em to a little "axel f.
" all right, I want you to feel All right, I want you to feel All right, I want you to feel that music.
I want you to feel That music.
I want you to feel That music.
I want you to feel it down south.
And kegel.
Kegel.
It down south.
And kegel.
Kegel.
It down south.
And kegel.
Kegel.
Kegel.
Nice.
I'm gonna come Kegel.
Nice.
I'm gonna come Kegel.
Nice.
I'm gonna come around and check you out.
Around and check you out.
Around and check you out.
Looking good.
Looking good.
I Looking good.
Looking good.
I Looking good.
Looking good.
I wanna see some movement in those Wanna see some movement in those Wanna see some movement in those pants.
Nice.
Nice.
Work up a Pants.
Nice.
Nice.
Work up a Pants.
Nice.
Nice.
Work up a sweat.
You feeling it? Imagine Sweat.
You feeling it? Imagine Sweat.
You feeling it? Imagine you're picking up change.
Here You're picking up change.
Here You're picking up change.
Here we go.
We go.
We go.
hey, guy.
hey, guy.
hey, guy.
yes, trudy.
yes, trudy.
yes, trudy.
I feel like I'm only doing it I feel like I'm only doing it I feel like I'm only doing it in my butthole.
Can you check? In my butthole.
Can you check? In my butthole.
Can you check? all right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Less buttocks, Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Less buttocks, Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Less buttocks, more cervix.
More cervix.
More cervix.
ok.
I'm real glad you came and I'm real glad you came and I'm real glad you came and that you did it and all.
And I That you did it and all.
And I That you did it and all.
And I know you were just being Know you were just being Know you were just being yourself.
You weren't trying to Yourself.
You weren't trying to Yourself.
You weren't trying to ruin my day.
Ruin my day.
Ruin my day.
no, I wasn't.
no, I wasn't.
no, I wasn't.
or anybody's day.
You were or anybody's day.
You were or anybody's day.
You were just being yourself, just being Just being yourself, just being Just being yourself, just being clemmie.
Clemmie.
Clemmie.
that's all I can do.
That's that's all I can do.
That's that's all I can do.
That's all I can be.
All I can be.
All I can be.
but see, my point is, but see, my point is, but see, my point is, sometimes it's good to not be Sometimes it's good to not be Sometimes it's good to not be yourself so much.
You know what Yourself so much.
You know what Yourself so much.
You know what I mean? Just not all of I mean? Just not all of I mean? Just not all of yourself.
Just leave a few parts Yourself.
Just leave a few parts Yourself.
Just leave a few parts behind.
Leave a little mystery.
Behind.
Leave a little mystery.
Behind.
Leave a little mystery.
amen to that, sister.
amen to that, sister.
amen to that, sister.
all right.
♪ to my trophies at last I lay ♪ to my trophies at last I lay ♪ to my trophies at last I lay down, I will cling to the old Down, I will cling to the old Down, I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it Rugged cross, and exchange it Rugged cross, and exchange it someday for a crown ♪ Someday for a crown ♪ Someday for a crown ♪ mtv networks.]
Mtv networks.]
Mtv networks.]