Sabrina The Teenage Witch s04e09 Episode Script
Love Means Having to Say You're Sorry
- Good morning, Sabrina.
- Morning.
HILDA: What will it be? Egg-white omelette or oatmeal? - Aah! ZELDA: Okay, have a Pop-Tart.
No, it's your faces.
You all have Harvey's face.
Even the cat.
SALEM: I am Harvey and I need 20 bucks.
I'm attracted to all of you, yet I'm repulsed.
Oh, make it stop.
Oh, honey, sometimes when a witch really loves someone and can't stop thinking about them, they literally see the object of their affection in other people's faces.
Yeah, happens to me all the time.
- Hi, baby.
SABRINA: Help.
All you have to do to make it stop is say out loud how you feel about Harvey.
I really love and miss Harvey.
Oh, much better.
- You want my mayonnaise? - No.
Harvey would have.
He always liked my condiments.
Sometimes he'd even eat my garnish.
Oh, just take it.
There's Harvey.
- No Colette.
Go talk to him.
- All right, I'm going.
- Hi.
- Hi.
So how have you been? Hi, guys.
Oh, Harvey, you left your chemistry book.
You forgot it in my locker.
Oops.
Forgot napkins.
Oh, you're sharing lockers now? Well, I got a new plant.
A green one? Oh, Harvey, my mom wants to know if you could bring a pumpkin pie to Thanksgiving dinner.
But we always have Thanksgiving at your-- - It's a philodendron.
Excuse me.
- Can I have your mayonnaise? COLETTE: Sure.
- Sabrina, shouldn't you be in school? - Oh, I just slipped away to shop.
You know, I've always wanted a fine timepiece.
What happened with Harvey now? He's gonna go to Colette's for Thanksgiving.
I always went to his house.
Now where will I go? What will become of me? But I thought you always said Mrs.
Kinkle's stuffing tasted like lumpy spackle.
Yes, but with gravy and Harvey, it was pretty good.
How could I have been so stupid? I wish I had never kissed Josh.
I know.
I wish I had never kissed Estes Kefauver.
I wish things weren't so messed up with me and Harvey.
It may not be over between you.
Sometimes people just need a little time apart.
Try to remember, whatever happens, if it was meant to be, it will be.
And everything happens for a reason.
And safety first.
Okay, I need to work on my clichés.
One decaf cappuccino, coming right up.
[FOAM HISSING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[PEOPLE APPLAUDING.]
[PEOPLE CHEERING.]
[FOAM HISSING.]
This is our new drink, the foam-accino.
Harvey, I was just not thinking about you.
- Hey, listen, we need to talk.
- Really? Yeah, but it's pretty busy in here.
Maybe it's not a good time.
[SPED-UP CHATTERING.]
I guess I didn't hear the ice-cream truck.
So, what did you wanna talk about? Well, last night I was looking at all this stuff that I have that reminds me of you.
You were? I was too.
So you agree that now that we're broken up, we should give all that stuff back to each other? Absolutely, that's just what I was thinking.
Well, look at the crowd.
I should get back to work.
Hey, aren't those the people that just left? They check out the competition, they always come back.
[SALEM SOBBING.]
- His letterman's jacket.
SALEM: No.
Pictures.
The hat he made me in wood shop.
Please just talk to him.
He's good people.
He's moved on.
We've moved on.
There's nothing left to talk about.
- You want me to talk to him? - No.
Harvey's just not the right guy for me.
Oh, so you still wanna date Josh? No, but the whole thing with Josh made me realise that, well, what I want is a college guy.
Yeah, a college guy.
Yeah, somebody cool, and [SCOFFS.]
Harvey's just not that cool.
Oh-ho.
I always thought I'd be Harvey's best man at your wedding.
[SOBBING, KNOCK ON DOOR.]
SALEM: Hilda, Zelda, it's so sad.
- We have a surprise.
We're going to cook Thanksgiving dinner.
Turkey, stuffing and gravy? - Lots of gravy? - Mm-hm.
You never celebrated Thanksgiving before.
Well, we've decided to put our hard feelings towards those poopie, old, witch-hating Pilgrims aside.
Now, Hilda.
We realise that it was more important to cheer up someone we love than to hold a grudge, against those poopie old Pilgrims.
You guys are the best.
We're doing this for Sabrina.
If it involves gravy, you can do it for Moms Mabley for all I care.
Well, here's your stuff.
Yeah, here's yours.
Oh, my Hootie & The Blowfish CD.
Oh.
Here's your lip gloss.
Guess my books won't smell like Strawberry Swirl anymore.
Thanks.
Well, I guess that's everything.
Yep.
So see you.
Yeah, see you.
Bye.
Bye.
I can't believe it wasn't meant to be.
[FRAME THUDS.]
He's keeping her picture.
So guy, Dreama, I can't believe he actually kept her picture.
[SQUEALS.]
That means he totally still likes her.
But Sabrina doesn't think Harvey's cool enough.
Please, she's my friend, but she just doesn't get it.
Don't tell her I said that.
Girlfriend, it's up to you.
Put a magic thermometer spell on Harvey and make him kill.
I'll do it.
Not before you rinse me.
Gah.
"Reach hand in cavity, loosen and remove giblets and gizzard.
" - Go ahead, Zellie.
- You go ahead.
I unwrapped the foul fowl.
Who came up with this stupid rule that witches have to make Thanksgiving dinner by hand? Stupid witches.
They're just trying to discourage us from celebrating Thanksgiving.
Well, it's working.
Come on, we have to do this for Sabrina.
- Let's just leave the gizzard.
- Mm.
What's next? "Salt and pepper to taste.
" This is hard.
Okay, Harvey, be cool.
[BELL RINGS.]
I am so out of here.
Cool.
Sabrina, you have to talk to Harvey.
Oh, man, you're like a dog with a bone.
Harvey and I have given back our relationship stuff.
We have closure.
- Trust me, Harvey's changed.
- We have closure.
Why'd he keep a picture of you in his locker? Closure.
He kept my picture? Did I also win a Nobel Prize you didn't tell me about? I've gotta talk to him.
Oh.
Hey, Harvey.
- Yo, Brina.
- Brina? Look, do you think we could talk? What do you call what we're doing right now? [CELL PHONE RINGING.]
It's the Kink Man.
- Harvey just blew me off.
- But isn't he cool? Are you responsible for the rebel without a clue? I guess, but I thought you wanted him to be different.
No, I was just rationalising to get through this lonely, desperate time.
Oh.
[SODA CAN DROPS.]
[IMITATES THE FONZ.]
Hey.
Gotta stop him before he starts looking for Potsie.
Okay, okay, I'll warm him up.
I don't want no stinking fish sticks.
Too hot.
You've turned him into a hothead.
Hey, what are you looking at, freckle boy? Oh, it's time I take matters in my own finger.
Wait, Clarence.
You dropped your Pokémon cards.
There.
Perfect temperature.
COLETTE: Hi, Harvey.
Oh, hi, Colette.
Mind if I walk you to class? I'm so glad I arranged that for her.
These recipes are so involved.
Why don't we make our own traditional Thanksgiving foods? Great idea.
How about microwave popcorn? Yes, we'll put it in a casserole and melt miniature marshmallows on top.
It's too bad you're being sarcastic because that sounds kind of good.
Okay, lunch is almost over, so I don't have much time.
I was wondering if you knew a fix-a-broken-love spell? Oh, sure, honey.
It's filed right next to the make-life-perfect spell.
Oh, I could use that too.
Sabrina, you know you can't use magic for love.
- Oh, what can I use magic for? ZELDA: Trust me.
In matters of the heart, the mortal way is the magic way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's always so satisfying when I get through to her.
Check this out in the witches' cookbook.
"Have a homemade traditional Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings in just one easy step.
" ZELDA: Wonderful.
We'll have an authentic Thanksgiving dinner made by hand.
Just not our hands.
Okay, Harvey, we need to talk.
- Colette, we need to talk.
- Sure, what is it? You're really nice, but this relationship doesn't feel that comfortable to me.
And I think it would be better if we stopped seeing each other.
Yes.
You're breaking up with me so you can get back with Sabrina, aren't you? - Yes.
- It's not that.
I mean, I still love and care about her, but I don't know if I can ever forgive Sabrina for what she did.
No.
If you want him to forgive you, just say you're sorry.
Look, I totally betrayed him.
I can't just walk up to him and say, "Sorry.
" - But if you-- - You don't know how he said it.
Look, I'll just show you.
[SPED-UP TALKING.]
I don't know if I can ever forgive Sabrina for what she did.
Ouch.
Harvey's never said anything like that before.
HARVEY: Colette, I never meant to hurt you.
Oh, I really need to remember to turn off my radio soaps.
I hope our kitchen meets all your culinary needs.
Mother, my eyes vex me.
We should never have partaken of that evil weed.
Yes.
Wretched tobacco.
Now don't be vexed.
How about I get some tea for thee? The mortal way.
They're Pilgrims.
Of course.
Hot tea coming right up.
[MICROWAVE HUMMING.]
BOTH: Witch, witch.
They don't exactly think outside the box, do they? There's got to be a spell to make Harvey forgive me.
SALEM: Sabrina, maybe you should listen to your aunts' advice: - "The mortal way is the magic way.
" - Here's one.
"If you've done something wrong in a relationship, start over by going back to the drawing board.
" Or you could just ignore the cat.
All I need to do is fill in our thought bubbles with what I want us to say.
Let's see, I'll say, "Can you forgive and forget?" And Harvey will say, "All is forgiven and forgotten.
" Now we'll all live happily ever after.
SABRINA: Wish me luck.
Hey, you should try to get on The Simpsons.
Harvey, can you forgive and forget? All is forgiven and forgotten.
I'm sorry, I forgot.
You are? - Sabrina.
- And I am? Okay, back to the drawing board.
Let's see, to err is human, to forgive, divine.
This one will work.
So to err is human.
Why, these fish sticks are simply divine.
I must forgive the lunch lady for wreaking havoc with my waistline.
Hmm.
Sabrina, your outfit, divine.
Apparently, with this board, you have to choose your words carefully.
So something simple and heartfelt.
Harvey, let go and let God.
- Yes, my child? - Shoot.
Oh.
Sorry, Father.
Okay, I got the perfect idea.
[LEAVES RUSTLING, BOARD THUDS.]
Hey, I was gonna use that board to mend the rift between me and Yvonne De Carlo.
John, Mary, aren't we overreacting just a bit? - You're witches, admit it.
- All right, if you insist.
Oh, merciful heaven.
You know, for people who crossed the Atlantic and fought Indians, you're kind of fraidy-cats.
Come on, we just need you to make Thanksgiving dinner.
It would mean so much to our niece.
So if we prepare a feast for you, you'll send us home? Quicker than you can say cornucopia.
Aunt Hilda and Zelda, I need to talk to you.
Away from Mr.
and Mrs.
Quaker Oats.
Wait, somebody has to watch the Pilgrims.
BOTH: Witch, witch.
Pilgrim, Pilgrim.
John, Mary, this is our very friendly talking cat, Salem.
He'll help you get started.
If he tries to repress your freedom of religion, just spray him with a water bottle.
I realised that I can't use this spell to make Harvey to forgive me.
So are you gonna try it the mortal way? No, I wanted to know if I could borrow your magic lost-in-time clock.
Have to admit, she's tenacious.
I wanna go back to that night.
I won't kiss Josh and Harvey won't be hurt.
Please, I really need a second chance.
I am the most powerful of all witches.
And I will only be appeased by gravy.
Stir faster or I'll turn you into toads.
- Unleash not your anger.
- We stir, sir.
Well, I'm off to right a wrong.
Now, how do I do this? "You make a left turn at yesterday and then go forward toward the past.
" If you need me, I'll be on our porch two weeks ago.
Good luck.
Well, I guess while we're waiting, - I could look at your bookkeeping.
- What bookkeeping? Cool.
Oh, so, what was I saying? If everyone would just buy a goat, then we could eliminate leaf blowers and stop global warming.
Well, here we are.
- Thanks for helping me study.
- You're welcome.
And you can admit I'm right about the goat thing later.
Sorry, Josh, but I have a really wonderful boyfriend, Harvey.
And if I kiss you, that will hurt Harvey and that would ruin our relationship forever.
I wouldn't want you to do anything you may later regret.
Thank you for being so understanding.
- You don't look sick to me.
- Harvey, wait.
I'm rewriting history here.
[CLOCK CHIMES.]
This stupid clock is broken.
I went back in time and it still ruined things with Harvey.
Oh, honey, when the past refuses to change, it means what happened was meant to be.
Why would that be meant to be? What good could come of this? We never said something good would come of it.
So it's really over between Harvey and me? Oh, you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just gonna do some stuff on my school paper and bury myself in my work.
I don't need love.
Tsk.
Mm.
I hope she still needs turkey.
Oh, right.
Turkey.
I wonder how Salem's doing with those Pilgrims.
I must taste everything.
Nothing leaves this kitchen until it passes my lips.
Mm-hm-mm.
A little too spicy.
Mm.
Yee! Too bland.
Mm.
Not just right.
Need I remind you the penalty for displeasing me? Toads.
Then be done with it.
We prefer that to this oppression.
Go ahead, use your magic, witch.
Uh-oh.
[SOBBING.]
You don't wanna cook me.
I'm awful gamy.
Okay, this is not how we left things.
He is an abomination.
Oh, so you've had time to get to know each other.
More importantly, how's the meal coming? Hear ye, hear ye.
We quit.
Wait.
Look, maybe we've asked of you without giving anything in return.
Yeah, if you cook for us, we'll zap you anything you want.
A new horse? A winter coat? [HORSE WHINNIES.]
BOTH: Witch, witch.
Yes, we've established that we're witches.
- So do we have a deal? JOHN: Good wife.
Look at the strong haunches on that horse.
You know, we could use a new feather bed.
And a bed warmer.
I want a real pewter one like the Joneses' next door.
They're awfully greedy for Puritans.
We'll give you whatever you want.
Just cook.
This shall be a Thanksgiving like no other.
Absolutely.
No dysentery this time.
Heh-heh.
Okay, we'll get out of your way.
Hey, isn't someone gonna untie the cat? Oh, sorry.
Are you sorry? Yes, very.
I'm so glad to hear you say that.
I'm so glad to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't say I was sorry sooner.
But I'm sorry.
None of this would have happened if I hadn't of taken you for granted and spent all my time with Brad and the guys.
I'm sorry I thought I wanted to date Josh.
I'm sorry I dated Josh.
I'm sorry to keep bringing it up.
And I'm sorry for saying I'd call at 8:15 but I didn't call till 8:20.
And I'm sorry I ate the last Milk Dud at the movies.
- Boy, I've really missed you.
- I've missed you too.
You know, I thought I couldn't forgive you, but sometimes I feel like I'm under your spell.
[CHUCKLES.]
I guess sometimes the mortal way is the magic way.
- What? - You don't have to agree with me.
So do you wanna come over for a traditional Thanksgiving? I thought your aunts don't cook Thanksgiving dinner.
Oh, that's the tradition.
So will you do me the honour of taking back all of my junk? If you'll take mine.
Hey, you varnished it.
Yeah, my dad sprayed it, so no termites.
I thought of another way for you and Harvey to get back together.
Never mind.
I knew there was someone I was supposed to call.
Thanksgiving dinner is served.
Oh, boy, your caterers really go all out.
I know why that thing with Josh was meant to be.
It made me appreciate how much Harvey means to me.
And I know another reason why the whole Josh thing was meant to be.
I found out I really like Thanksgiving.
ZELDA: Come on, you two.
Everyone, please enjoy.
BOTH: Witch, witch.
Sorry, habit.
Okay, let's go around the table and say what we're thankful for.
Okay, I'm thankful for family.
I'm thankful to you guys for doing this.
[MUFFLED VOICE.]
More yams.
Did your cat just say, "More yams"? [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
Come on, you guys, dance, loosen up.
It's not immoral.
Just fun.
Oh, come on.
It will help you digest your food.
Live a little.
It's a holiday.
Go, Pilgrims.
Go, Pilgrims.
Go, Pilgrims.
Go, Pilgrims.
- Morning.
HILDA: What will it be? Egg-white omelette or oatmeal? - Aah! ZELDA: Okay, have a Pop-Tart.
No, it's your faces.
You all have Harvey's face.
Even the cat.
SALEM: I am Harvey and I need 20 bucks.
I'm attracted to all of you, yet I'm repulsed.
Oh, make it stop.
Oh, honey, sometimes when a witch really loves someone and can't stop thinking about them, they literally see the object of their affection in other people's faces.
Yeah, happens to me all the time.
- Hi, baby.
SABRINA: Help.
All you have to do to make it stop is say out loud how you feel about Harvey.
I really love and miss Harvey.
Oh, much better.
- You want my mayonnaise? - No.
Harvey would have.
He always liked my condiments.
Sometimes he'd even eat my garnish.
Oh, just take it.
There's Harvey.
- No Colette.
Go talk to him.
- All right, I'm going.
- Hi.
- Hi.
So how have you been? Hi, guys.
Oh, Harvey, you left your chemistry book.
You forgot it in my locker.
Oops.
Forgot napkins.
Oh, you're sharing lockers now? Well, I got a new plant.
A green one? Oh, Harvey, my mom wants to know if you could bring a pumpkin pie to Thanksgiving dinner.
But we always have Thanksgiving at your-- - It's a philodendron.
Excuse me.
- Can I have your mayonnaise? COLETTE: Sure.
- Sabrina, shouldn't you be in school? - Oh, I just slipped away to shop.
You know, I've always wanted a fine timepiece.
What happened with Harvey now? He's gonna go to Colette's for Thanksgiving.
I always went to his house.
Now where will I go? What will become of me? But I thought you always said Mrs.
Kinkle's stuffing tasted like lumpy spackle.
Yes, but with gravy and Harvey, it was pretty good.
How could I have been so stupid? I wish I had never kissed Josh.
I know.
I wish I had never kissed Estes Kefauver.
I wish things weren't so messed up with me and Harvey.
It may not be over between you.
Sometimes people just need a little time apart.
Try to remember, whatever happens, if it was meant to be, it will be.
And everything happens for a reason.
And safety first.
Okay, I need to work on my clichés.
One decaf cappuccino, coming right up.
[FOAM HISSING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[PEOPLE APPLAUDING.]
[PEOPLE CHEERING.]
[FOAM HISSING.]
This is our new drink, the foam-accino.
Harvey, I was just not thinking about you.
- Hey, listen, we need to talk.
- Really? Yeah, but it's pretty busy in here.
Maybe it's not a good time.
[SPED-UP CHATTERING.]
I guess I didn't hear the ice-cream truck.
So, what did you wanna talk about? Well, last night I was looking at all this stuff that I have that reminds me of you.
You were? I was too.
So you agree that now that we're broken up, we should give all that stuff back to each other? Absolutely, that's just what I was thinking.
Well, look at the crowd.
I should get back to work.
Hey, aren't those the people that just left? They check out the competition, they always come back.
[SALEM SOBBING.]
- His letterman's jacket.
SALEM: No.
Pictures.
The hat he made me in wood shop.
Please just talk to him.
He's good people.
He's moved on.
We've moved on.
There's nothing left to talk about.
- You want me to talk to him? - No.
Harvey's just not the right guy for me.
Oh, so you still wanna date Josh? No, but the whole thing with Josh made me realise that, well, what I want is a college guy.
Yeah, a college guy.
Yeah, somebody cool, and [SCOFFS.]
Harvey's just not that cool.
Oh-ho.
I always thought I'd be Harvey's best man at your wedding.
[SOBBING, KNOCK ON DOOR.]
SALEM: Hilda, Zelda, it's so sad.
- We have a surprise.
We're going to cook Thanksgiving dinner.
Turkey, stuffing and gravy? - Lots of gravy? - Mm-hm.
You never celebrated Thanksgiving before.
Well, we've decided to put our hard feelings towards those poopie, old, witch-hating Pilgrims aside.
Now, Hilda.
We realise that it was more important to cheer up someone we love than to hold a grudge, against those poopie old Pilgrims.
You guys are the best.
We're doing this for Sabrina.
If it involves gravy, you can do it for Moms Mabley for all I care.
Well, here's your stuff.
Yeah, here's yours.
Oh, my Hootie & The Blowfish CD.
Oh.
Here's your lip gloss.
Guess my books won't smell like Strawberry Swirl anymore.
Thanks.
Well, I guess that's everything.
Yep.
So see you.
Yeah, see you.
Bye.
Bye.
I can't believe it wasn't meant to be.
[FRAME THUDS.]
He's keeping her picture.
So guy, Dreama, I can't believe he actually kept her picture.
[SQUEALS.]
That means he totally still likes her.
But Sabrina doesn't think Harvey's cool enough.
Please, she's my friend, but she just doesn't get it.
Don't tell her I said that.
Girlfriend, it's up to you.
Put a magic thermometer spell on Harvey and make him kill.
I'll do it.
Not before you rinse me.
Gah.
"Reach hand in cavity, loosen and remove giblets and gizzard.
" - Go ahead, Zellie.
- You go ahead.
I unwrapped the foul fowl.
Who came up with this stupid rule that witches have to make Thanksgiving dinner by hand? Stupid witches.
They're just trying to discourage us from celebrating Thanksgiving.
Well, it's working.
Come on, we have to do this for Sabrina.
- Let's just leave the gizzard.
- Mm.
What's next? "Salt and pepper to taste.
" This is hard.
Okay, Harvey, be cool.
[BELL RINGS.]
I am so out of here.
Cool.
Sabrina, you have to talk to Harvey.
Oh, man, you're like a dog with a bone.
Harvey and I have given back our relationship stuff.
We have closure.
- Trust me, Harvey's changed.
- We have closure.
Why'd he keep a picture of you in his locker? Closure.
He kept my picture? Did I also win a Nobel Prize you didn't tell me about? I've gotta talk to him.
Oh.
Hey, Harvey.
- Yo, Brina.
- Brina? Look, do you think we could talk? What do you call what we're doing right now? [CELL PHONE RINGING.]
It's the Kink Man.
- Harvey just blew me off.
- But isn't he cool? Are you responsible for the rebel without a clue? I guess, but I thought you wanted him to be different.
No, I was just rationalising to get through this lonely, desperate time.
Oh.
[SODA CAN DROPS.]
[IMITATES THE FONZ.]
Hey.
Gotta stop him before he starts looking for Potsie.
Okay, okay, I'll warm him up.
I don't want no stinking fish sticks.
Too hot.
You've turned him into a hothead.
Hey, what are you looking at, freckle boy? Oh, it's time I take matters in my own finger.
Wait, Clarence.
You dropped your Pokémon cards.
There.
Perfect temperature.
COLETTE: Hi, Harvey.
Oh, hi, Colette.
Mind if I walk you to class? I'm so glad I arranged that for her.
These recipes are so involved.
Why don't we make our own traditional Thanksgiving foods? Great idea.
How about microwave popcorn? Yes, we'll put it in a casserole and melt miniature marshmallows on top.
It's too bad you're being sarcastic because that sounds kind of good.
Okay, lunch is almost over, so I don't have much time.
I was wondering if you knew a fix-a-broken-love spell? Oh, sure, honey.
It's filed right next to the make-life-perfect spell.
Oh, I could use that too.
Sabrina, you know you can't use magic for love.
- Oh, what can I use magic for? ZELDA: Trust me.
In matters of the heart, the mortal way is the magic way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's always so satisfying when I get through to her.
Check this out in the witches' cookbook.
"Have a homemade traditional Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings in just one easy step.
" ZELDA: Wonderful.
We'll have an authentic Thanksgiving dinner made by hand.
Just not our hands.
Okay, Harvey, we need to talk.
- Colette, we need to talk.
- Sure, what is it? You're really nice, but this relationship doesn't feel that comfortable to me.
And I think it would be better if we stopped seeing each other.
Yes.
You're breaking up with me so you can get back with Sabrina, aren't you? - Yes.
- It's not that.
I mean, I still love and care about her, but I don't know if I can ever forgive Sabrina for what she did.
No.
If you want him to forgive you, just say you're sorry.
Look, I totally betrayed him.
I can't just walk up to him and say, "Sorry.
" - But if you-- - You don't know how he said it.
Look, I'll just show you.
[SPED-UP TALKING.]
I don't know if I can ever forgive Sabrina for what she did.
Ouch.
Harvey's never said anything like that before.
HARVEY: Colette, I never meant to hurt you.
Oh, I really need to remember to turn off my radio soaps.
I hope our kitchen meets all your culinary needs.
Mother, my eyes vex me.
We should never have partaken of that evil weed.
Yes.
Wretched tobacco.
Now don't be vexed.
How about I get some tea for thee? The mortal way.
They're Pilgrims.
Of course.
Hot tea coming right up.
[MICROWAVE HUMMING.]
BOTH: Witch, witch.
They don't exactly think outside the box, do they? There's got to be a spell to make Harvey forgive me.
SALEM: Sabrina, maybe you should listen to your aunts' advice: - "The mortal way is the magic way.
" - Here's one.
"If you've done something wrong in a relationship, start over by going back to the drawing board.
" Or you could just ignore the cat.
All I need to do is fill in our thought bubbles with what I want us to say.
Let's see, I'll say, "Can you forgive and forget?" And Harvey will say, "All is forgiven and forgotten.
" Now we'll all live happily ever after.
SABRINA: Wish me luck.
Hey, you should try to get on The Simpsons.
Harvey, can you forgive and forget? All is forgiven and forgotten.
I'm sorry, I forgot.
You are? - Sabrina.
- And I am? Okay, back to the drawing board.
Let's see, to err is human, to forgive, divine.
This one will work.
So to err is human.
Why, these fish sticks are simply divine.
I must forgive the lunch lady for wreaking havoc with my waistline.
Hmm.
Sabrina, your outfit, divine.
Apparently, with this board, you have to choose your words carefully.
So something simple and heartfelt.
Harvey, let go and let God.
- Yes, my child? - Shoot.
Oh.
Sorry, Father.
Okay, I got the perfect idea.
[LEAVES RUSTLING, BOARD THUDS.]
Hey, I was gonna use that board to mend the rift between me and Yvonne De Carlo.
John, Mary, aren't we overreacting just a bit? - You're witches, admit it.
- All right, if you insist.
Oh, merciful heaven.
You know, for people who crossed the Atlantic and fought Indians, you're kind of fraidy-cats.
Come on, we just need you to make Thanksgiving dinner.
It would mean so much to our niece.
So if we prepare a feast for you, you'll send us home? Quicker than you can say cornucopia.
Aunt Hilda and Zelda, I need to talk to you.
Away from Mr.
and Mrs.
Quaker Oats.
Wait, somebody has to watch the Pilgrims.
BOTH: Witch, witch.
Pilgrim, Pilgrim.
John, Mary, this is our very friendly talking cat, Salem.
He'll help you get started.
If he tries to repress your freedom of religion, just spray him with a water bottle.
I realised that I can't use this spell to make Harvey to forgive me.
So are you gonna try it the mortal way? No, I wanted to know if I could borrow your magic lost-in-time clock.
Have to admit, she's tenacious.
I wanna go back to that night.
I won't kiss Josh and Harvey won't be hurt.
Please, I really need a second chance.
I am the most powerful of all witches.
And I will only be appeased by gravy.
Stir faster or I'll turn you into toads.
- Unleash not your anger.
- We stir, sir.
Well, I'm off to right a wrong.
Now, how do I do this? "You make a left turn at yesterday and then go forward toward the past.
" If you need me, I'll be on our porch two weeks ago.
Good luck.
Well, I guess while we're waiting, - I could look at your bookkeeping.
- What bookkeeping? Cool.
Oh, so, what was I saying? If everyone would just buy a goat, then we could eliminate leaf blowers and stop global warming.
Well, here we are.
- Thanks for helping me study.
- You're welcome.
And you can admit I'm right about the goat thing later.
Sorry, Josh, but I have a really wonderful boyfriend, Harvey.
And if I kiss you, that will hurt Harvey and that would ruin our relationship forever.
I wouldn't want you to do anything you may later regret.
Thank you for being so understanding.
- You don't look sick to me.
- Harvey, wait.
I'm rewriting history here.
[CLOCK CHIMES.]
This stupid clock is broken.
I went back in time and it still ruined things with Harvey.
Oh, honey, when the past refuses to change, it means what happened was meant to be.
Why would that be meant to be? What good could come of this? We never said something good would come of it.
So it's really over between Harvey and me? Oh, you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just gonna do some stuff on my school paper and bury myself in my work.
I don't need love.
Tsk.
Mm.
I hope she still needs turkey.
Oh, right.
Turkey.
I wonder how Salem's doing with those Pilgrims.
I must taste everything.
Nothing leaves this kitchen until it passes my lips.
Mm-hm-mm.
A little too spicy.
Mm.
Yee! Too bland.
Mm.
Not just right.
Need I remind you the penalty for displeasing me? Toads.
Then be done with it.
We prefer that to this oppression.
Go ahead, use your magic, witch.
Uh-oh.
[SOBBING.]
You don't wanna cook me.
I'm awful gamy.
Okay, this is not how we left things.
He is an abomination.
Oh, so you've had time to get to know each other.
More importantly, how's the meal coming? Hear ye, hear ye.
We quit.
Wait.
Look, maybe we've asked of you without giving anything in return.
Yeah, if you cook for us, we'll zap you anything you want.
A new horse? A winter coat? [HORSE WHINNIES.]
BOTH: Witch, witch.
Yes, we've established that we're witches.
- So do we have a deal? JOHN: Good wife.
Look at the strong haunches on that horse.
You know, we could use a new feather bed.
And a bed warmer.
I want a real pewter one like the Joneses' next door.
They're awfully greedy for Puritans.
We'll give you whatever you want.
Just cook.
This shall be a Thanksgiving like no other.
Absolutely.
No dysentery this time.
Heh-heh.
Okay, we'll get out of your way.
Hey, isn't someone gonna untie the cat? Oh, sorry.
Are you sorry? Yes, very.
I'm so glad to hear you say that.
I'm so glad to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't say I was sorry sooner.
But I'm sorry.
None of this would have happened if I hadn't of taken you for granted and spent all my time with Brad and the guys.
I'm sorry I thought I wanted to date Josh.
I'm sorry I dated Josh.
I'm sorry to keep bringing it up.
And I'm sorry for saying I'd call at 8:15 but I didn't call till 8:20.
And I'm sorry I ate the last Milk Dud at the movies.
- Boy, I've really missed you.
- I've missed you too.
You know, I thought I couldn't forgive you, but sometimes I feel like I'm under your spell.
[CHUCKLES.]
I guess sometimes the mortal way is the magic way.
- What? - You don't have to agree with me.
So do you wanna come over for a traditional Thanksgiving? I thought your aunts don't cook Thanksgiving dinner.
Oh, that's the tradition.
So will you do me the honour of taking back all of my junk? If you'll take mine.
Hey, you varnished it.
Yeah, my dad sprayed it, so no termites.
I thought of another way for you and Harvey to get back together.
Never mind.
I knew there was someone I was supposed to call.
Thanksgiving dinner is served.
Oh, boy, your caterers really go all out.
I know why that thing with Josh was meant to be.
It made me appreciate how much Harvey means to me.
And I know another reason why the whole Josh thing was meant to be.
I found out I really like Thanksgiving.
ZELDA: Come on, you two.
Everyone, please enjoy.
BOTH: Witch, witch.
Sorry, habit.
Okay, let's go around the table and say what we're thankful for.
Okay, I'm thankful for family.
I'm thankful to you guys for doing this.
[MUFFLED VOICE.]
More yams.
Did your cat just say, "More yams"? [DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
Come on, you guys, dance, loosen up.
It's not immoral.
Just fun.
Oh, come on.
It will help you digest your food.
Live a little.
It's a holiday.
Go, Pilgrims.
Go, Pilgrims.
Go, Pilgrims.
Go, Pilgrims.