Scorpion (2014) s04e09 Episode Script
It's Raining Men (of War)
1 CABE: It started as a normal night.
I was getting ready to watch my favorite show.
(music plays over television) My dad was at work.
My mom was mopping.
I remember because I love the pine smell of that soap.
(popcorn popping) Could hear popcorn on the stove.
(doorbell rings) That was the night my father died.
H-How did you feel in that moment or in the moments that followed? I felt blessed.
Blessed? Blessed to have such a strong mother that was able to get the two of us through such a tough time.
That's wonderful.
And powerful.
Well, still, though, loss of a father My father died a hero, and I had it better than most.
I mean, I learned more from that old man in nine years than most people learn in a lifetime.
I was blessed.
Yeah, there's no doubt he was a good father.
You're proof of that.
(chuckles lightly) Didn't you ever wonder why this happened to such a good man? You know, a lot of people ask, âWhy me?â But why not me? Bad things happen all the time.
Why should I be exempt? (timer dings) Time's up.
Hey, thank you for opening up about that.
I-I know you don't like sharing and hardly ever talk about your father.
I guess it's not really therapy unless you dig into Mom and Dad, huh? That's true.
Hey, I'm glad we got this session in.
I haven't seen you around much the past few weeks.
Like you only drop in between cases to mooch meals.
You know, I'm doing some, uh, legal research for my trial, trying to lighten Sly's workload.
Sly hasn't mentioned anything.
I haven't found anything useful.
There's nothing to report.
Well, I hope you and your friends are hungry.
PAIGE: Hope you guys aren't too hungry.
Thanksgiving on a tight budget.
Glad Toby likes canned cranberry 'cause we can't afford to make the real thing.
And Tom Turkey is a little smaller than last year.
Oh, Thomas.
That's a great name for a boy.
I can't talk about this with you anymore.
Why? Picking baby names is the fun part.
Baby? Did I miss an announcement? No.
No baby on the immediate horizon, but Toby is determined to pick a name pronto.
He read a study about how a strong name increases chances of a successful life.
Totally irrational.
HAPPY: Agreed.
The thing is, Toby wants to name the kid after a distinguished relative, and that takes us back a few generations and I do not want to end up raising an Obadiah Curtis, so I need some alternatives.
Well, one obvious alternative would be to name the baby Walter or Walena if it's a girl.
You said Toby wants a name that invokes success.
TOBY: Let me save everyone the suspense.
There's not a chance our bambino is gonna be saddled with either one of those names.
I'm sorry, Walena.
Hey, is it here? Did it come? Thought you were taking a vacation day.
SYLVESTER: Uh, I did, but the new Chair of Blades book comes out today, and I had it delivered here instead of my apartment.
Okay, you got a package an hour ago.
(laughs) It took J.
Randall P.
Smythe ten years to write this.
Ah, its weight is the heft of literary substance.
TOBY: Sly, the book's about magic.
Magic is for children's birthday parties, not grown men.
This is all nonsense.
Nuh-uh.
Look at that chair.
It's made of blades.
Can't sit in that chair.
Your body would be shred to pieces.
Not if you're a Klentorian because their bodies are impervious.
It's another example of the infantilization of American culture.
CABE: I love those books.
Does that make me an infant? Anyway What's with the thermos, buddy? Oh, I was inspired by Walt's brain food regimen, so this is a fish-based protein shake to get me through the read.
No meal breaks.
This is gonna be an all-nighter.
FLORENCE: Excuse me.
Where is this child's mother? Right here.
What's going on? I think this belongs to you.
Yes, his name's Ralph.
Let go of his wrist, please.
What's going on? He was crawling through the ceiling vents in my lab.
That is, until he fell through the ceiling and destroyed a very expensive set of Erlenmeyer flasks.
Are you okay? He's fine.
I checked.
What were you looking for up there? Parental guidance, perhaps.
Could you please let my son answer? Spill it.
Some of our waxworms matured into moths and flew into the vents.
I know Florence is particular about her work space, so I went to retrieve them so that she wouldn't get upset.
How'd that work out for you? Ralph, what do you have to say? Those vents are poorly constructed.
You're reading the room wrong, kid.
I apologize.
Well, I don't blame you.
You're a child, curious and unformed.
It is the job of your parent to keep an eye on you.
Paige is an excellent mother.
If you must know, I give Ralph a little bit more freedom because he is a genius.
What a shock-- an L.
A.
mother who thinks that her child is a genius.
And watch your moth infestation.
HAPPY: It's not an infestation.
It's a solution we've devised for NOAA, National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration.
I'm familiar.
It is a prestigious job.
We're cleaning the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a 500-ton mass of plastic shards floating in the ocean.
HAPPY: Until a piece the size of a football field broke off, started drifting toward the West Coast, leaching chemicals as it goes.
I am assuming you're using waxworms because they eat and digest plastic, rendering it nontoxic.
I can see that you developed some sort of binding agent? We spray it on the plastic shards so it hardens into a solid mass.
That way we can walk right onto the trash and scatter the worms.
Just what geniuses do.
It's a foolproof solution.
(snorts lightly) If you consider a 93% success rate foolproof.
Excuse me? Your binding agent is flawed.
It has a chemical that will partially pass through the worms intact, right back into the Pacific.
I estimate a seven percent rate of failure.
That would leave 35 tons of plastic in the ocean.
Well, that's assuming she's correct, which she isn't.
Our formula is better than every existing binding agent.
Not every existing binding agent.
The one that I made in my lab, despite constant interruptions, is fully organic.
No chemical coating.
Your worms could digest a hundred percent of the plastic.
Last time I checked, a hundred percent is better than 93, but I'm not a genius.
I'm just a chemist.
Lucky for you guys, my lab has run into a bit of a funding gap, so I'm willing to tag along for one sixth of the take.
Absolutely not.
PAIGE: Walter, perhaps we should I don't like her.
Excuse me.
Walter, you're letting your personal feelings get in the way of work.
Now, if her product is more effec more effective, then we'll do a better job with the 100-yard chunk of ocean trash, and perhaps we'll get hired to clean up the rest and then we won't be broke anymore.
She's arrogant and condescending.
Oh, hi, pot.
I see you've met kettle.
HAPPY: I know she stinks, but since when does Walter O'Brien choose the less efficient route? You have a deal.
At one-sixth our fee, assuming your product passes inspection.
So, we leave in 40 minutes.
So, let's pack up the worms.
It's today? It's Thanksgiving.
Not that it's your business, but NOAA charges a great deal for use of their boats, so we procured one of our own.
And the rates are cheapest on Thanksgiving.
Wonderful.
You have holiday plans, so you can't come with us.
Actually I'm free.
WALTER: No plans.
No friends.
How not shocking.
(car horn honking) Oh, Ralph, that's your troop leader.
Don't forget our contribution for the food drive, and I'll see you tonight at dinner.
Hey, Paige, can I get a word with you in the kitchen? You know, I think I'm gonna hang back, make the yams.
You don't cook.
Cabe is on the verge of a major breakthrough in therapy.
I think I can really help him with all his fears about the trial and prison.
I mean, we're making some good progress here.
That's great.
I think it'd be good if I stay here with him.
I mean, you don't really need me or an unarmed intern to scatter worms on garbage.
No, but we'll be a pair of hands short.
SYLVESTER: Yes.
I got a solution.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, pal.
I have to tell you, I am just loving my vacation.
I'm just loving my vacation.
Oh, man.
Okay, Ralph's pumpkin launcher is loaded.
Now, the balls have a three-second timer, so it should explode shortly after launch, raining binding agent down on plastic shards and hardening the plastic.
That's assuming that your chemical solution works.
It does.
HAPPY: Walt, hold up.
I ran the physics, I know the launch angle, give me that sucker.
Fire in the hole! (shouts) All right.
The agent should congeal the plastic into one solid mass.
It'll be safe to walk on in about two hours.
Looks like you've got some time to read.
Best vacation ever.
Look at you, pretty handy with a yam.
Yeah, you don't need an IQ like yours to peel vegetables.
That story you were telling me earlier got me thinking about those old TVs.
Grandmother had one.
I loved it, except the reception was always so fuzzy.
Not ours.
Perfect picture.
Hmm.
That stove-top popcorn, ah, that brought me back, too.
Used to love watching the tinfoil rise, but that bottom layer always got burnt.
Not the way my mom did it.
Was good to the last kernel.
I'm gonna hit the head.
Be right back.
Patient confirms likely fictitious recollections.
His details are suffering from nostalgic whitewashing where no bad memory, even something as small as burnt popcorn, is allowed to exist.
Further research is required.
Plastic's consolidated.
FLORENCE: Two hours on the dot.
My binding agent worked perfectly.
Well, let's hope it doesn't disintegrate under our feet.
Be careful.
Look at you, walking right across the water.
Toby always said Walt had a god complex.
Solid as advertised.
(quietly): Congratulations, you perfected glue.
Okay, let's get to it.
Sly, help Happy unpack the worms.
That was not a part of my vacation.
It's just 'cause Toby wanted to make yams.
HAPPY: Been watching these guys for an hour now.
They start eating as soon as they hit pay dirt.
This is gonna work better than we thought.
WALTER: Yeah.
Uh, Paige? The current is starting to drift the boat away from the island.
Could you guys secure the vessel? PAIGE: We've been trying.
Attempting to steady this boat while Sly parks this baby.
I don't know when that's going to happen.
Having a little bit of trouble dropping anchor.
Have you tried a high-fiber diet? Well, that kind of humor is Toby's influence.
SYLVESTER: Guys, seriously.
I'm jammed up.
I'll let that one lie.
PAIGE: Walt, we can't get this anchor mechanism to work.
We're gonna drift a little bit, but when you're done, we'll swing by, pick you up.
Copy that.
So, um, speaking of the influence that Dr.
Curtis has had on you, I hope he's not forcing your hand on the baby name front.
Since when can Toby force my hand on anything? He got you to marry him.
Touché.
You know, I'm just saying, that history has had its share of exemplary Walters.
Milwaukee North Side Strangler: Walter Ellis.
Sir Walter Raleigh, founder of the doomed colony of Roanoke, and, of course, Walter Mondale.
What's wrong with Mondale? He lost 49 out of 50 states.
So, if you want your kid to grow up to be a loser, that's your choice.
Just spread your worms.
Can't.
My buckets are empty.
Yeah, me, too.
WALTER: Okay.
Let's let these guys feast and clean the Pacific.
Paige, we're done.
Come get us.
Okay.
On our way.
(engine stalling) Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.
The engine doesn't seem to want to turn over.
There's no âseemâ when it comes to engines.
Either they work or they don't.
Then we're dealing with a âdon'tâ situation, because the fuel is high, there's-there's no warning lights.
Just sounds really angry.
Thank you for the high-end diagnostic.
But there's got to be a reason Walt? We got a problem.
FLORENCE: Those are men o' war.
There's thousands of them.
I believe the plural is âman of wars.
â HAPPY: Whatever they are, they are caught in the works of the anchor and the engine's water intake.
That's why the boat is dead.
Are they eating the trash? No.
Jellyfish don't eat garbage.
If they did, we wouldn't have brought worms.
It's not the garbage that they're eating, it's the binding agent.
What'd you put in the solution? Agar, various proteins, copepods, rotifers.
Copepods and rotifers? Building blocks for zooplankton.
It's the snack of choice for jellyfish.
How did you not think of that? Because I am a chemist, not a zoologist.
So why didn't you think to ask? Doesn't matter whose fault it is.
Kind of matters.
Point is, we can't start the engine until we clear out the jellyfish.
Clear out the super-poisonous, deadly jellyfish? Sounds simple.
FLORENCE: Great.
There's no signal out here.
Okay.
I-I'll radio the Coast Guard.
HAPPY: Better get here fast, 'cause we just dropped a thousand plastic-eating worms on this island, and in 90 minutes, it'll disintegrate, and we'll be in the water getting stung to death.
Actually, man o' war stings are toxic, not lethal.
How about a hundred of them? Totally lethal.
Well, the bloom has doubled since we've been talking.
They can do more than double.
Blooms can grow dozens of miles long.
So by the time the Coast Guard gets here, they'll have to anchor 12 miles out and row to us, by which time, we will definitely be in the water.
Once again, getting stung to death.
I am so glad you came along today, Flo.
Scorpion 4x09 It's Raining Men (of War) Worms must have been starving 'cause this garbage raft is decaying faster than anticipated.
SYLVESTER: More bad news.
The Coast Guard is hours away.
We don't have hours.
That's the first correct thing you've said today.
I have a potential, yet stressful, solution.
Uh, we connect two ropes to form a bridge between the garbage island and our boat.
Your fix is to make us swing over deadly sea creatures? How are we supposed to get the rope all the way to them? Harpoon gun.
Harpoon gun.
I spotted it earlier, when we were loading gear in the cabin.
Fairly certain I saw it first.
I think this just might work.
(plastic cracking) HAPPY: Okay, Sly? Hurry and launch that rope! This thing is cracking under our feet! Ugh.
Cabe, you mind hitting that with some cleanser? I'm wrist-deep in chowder over here.
Sure.
(cabinet opens) (Cabe sighs) You okay? Yeah, I'm-I'm fine, I I'm gonna get a pan for the turkey.
Patient exhibits strong reaction to olfactory memory trigger.
Moving on to second phase of testing.
(recorder beeps) PAIGE: Are you ready to launch that thing or what? Just calculating the trajectory of the harpoon.
I need to be seven more inches off the ground in order to achieve the angle necessary to securely plant the harpoon on the island.
This thing's about seven inches.
My tome? Just stand on the damn thing.
J.
Randall P.
Smythe, forgive me.
By the fire of Klentoria! (grunts) Seems sturdy.
Good work, Sly.
Thanks, but we won't know for sure until someone's actually on it, though.
I'll just put you up here for safekeeping.
Lots of lethal planktonic invertebrates down there.
So, who wants to go first? I'll go.
Oh, sure, yeah.
The person who caused the predicament should absolutely be the first one to safety.
It's pretty gutsy.
If this thing doesn't hold, she's the test dummy.
Suppose you're right.
The wind is pretty unpredictable, so keep the space in between your hands equidistant on each swing to prevent stability loss.
That is apparent.
Thank you.
I hope you have the requisite upper body strength to make it across.
I think ten years of Tae Bo has prepared me well.
Well, I focus my time on research, not athletics.
Yes.
(grunts) Strong little monkey.
Yeah.
Well, she focuses on athletics, not research.
Well, she's a strong little monkey.
Okay, come on.
We got you.
(grunting) Okay.
(rope creaking) Oh, boy.
SYLVESTER: The current's pulling back out.
The rope doesn't have the tensile strength to take on much strain! Guys, get across now! I'll hold it steady.
You go.
But then you'll have to go on your own.
You don't have the best balance, you know? I focus my time on research, not athletics.
Okay.
Snippy.
Sheesh.
Whoa, Nellie! Hold on! Hold on! I don't think the rope's gonna hold.
Oh, forget the rope.
The harpoon's being pulled out! HAPPY: Walt, if that harpoon pops, I'm a goner! (screams) I can't hold on! I'm turning back.
I think the harpoon's coming out! The harpoon is definitely coming out.
Happy, hurry! The harpoon punctured the hull.
We're taking on water.
When the harpoon snapped off, it took a hunk of plastic with it.
Made the hole worse.
Thank you for the play-by-play.
I'd always hoped to die fully informed.
PAIGE: All right, I'm radioing the Coast Guard to get an ETA on their arrival.
Not possible.
The harpoon cut the telecom hub.
FLORENCE: Great, so there's no radio and no cell service.
And the yahoos in the garage won't have their comms in until Cabe's therapy is wrapped up, so we can't get to them for help.
Not necessarily.
Just 'cause they don't have them in, doesn't mean they can't hear us.
How are they supposed to hear us over their comms if they're not wearing them? They're not bats.
SYLVESTER: Actually, moths have better hearing than bats, but I totally get your point.
Who the hell cares? Walter, I'm not about to sink out here with these nerds.
What's your plan? WALTER: We manipulate the comm's microwave frequencies to send a high-pitch signal.
You'll need to manipulate the transmitter.
I can use a paper clip.
Great idea, but the water rushing in won't wait for the Coast Guard.
HAPPY: So, plug the hole.
No clue how, so don't ask for a follow-up.
Okay, okay, I can synthesize a polymer using the plastic from the harpoon, boiled together with the unvulcanized rubber sealant from the hull.
Let's get cooking.
Okay.
Um, boss? Are we gonna ignore the jellyfish in the room? They can fix the boat all they want, but we can't fix this plastic craptastic barge we're on.
Well, once they get in touch with Toby and Cabe, they'll get help.
Until then, I'm confident in the seaworthiness of this thing (yelps) Okay, we're dead if we don't get off this thing.
The worms are starting to eat right through it.
We just need to figure out a way to swim without getting stung.
Perhaps Groucho Marx glasses.
They'll never recognize us.
Disguise.
E-Exactly.
The jellyfish hunt via taste and smell, so if we mimic their biological makeup, then they'll think that we're jellyfish, too, and ignore us.
Sly, we'll need your fish oil-based protein shake.
My lunch? WALTER: If we denature the shake proteins with sea salt that's collected on the plastic, we'll be able to mimic the proteins in the bells of the jellyfish.
We'll baste up like a couple of turkeys and swim past the jellies.
But my lunch is here.
(gasps) The pumpkin chucker.
We have extra plastic balls from when we launched the binding agent.
We can fill them with my protein shake.
Paige, I will talk you through modifying the launcher so it can properly toss Sly's lunch.
Really? Could you people be any less mature? I'm headed topside.
Oh, and we could be infinitely less mature.
Happy could've easily said it's time to launch Sly's balls, but she didn't.
Hmm.
Look at that golden beauty, Doc, huh? Staying back, doing the cooking.
What better way to spend a day? Doesn't mean it can't be made better with some popcorn, right? (corn kernels popping) Oh! (kernels continue popping) You all right, hombre? Yeah.
Yeah, that popping startled me.
Never considered popcorn one of the scarier snack foods.
What about that sound threw you off guard? (erratic whistling sound) What the hell is that? It's coming from over there.
(whistling sound continues) What's your problem? Toby! Cabe! Mayday! Mayday! What the hell? Cabe, put in the comm.
What's going on? SYLVESTER: Ship sinking! Jellyfish bloom! Walter and Happy trapped on a disintegrating trash island! The radio is broken, Coast Guard is too far off, and we need help! Give me the coordinates, I'll start making calls.
PAIGE: Okay, getting ready.
Oh, boy.
The boat is taking on a lot of water! Okay, Florence, ETA on the goop? Once it liquefies.
ETA on the liquefying? When it's good and ready, and no amount of questioning is going to speed that along.
You're stressed.
That's understandable.
This is your first Scorpion disaster.
We're used to it.
FLORENCE: How do you know that I'm stressed? Maybe this is how I normally act when I'm synthesizing a polymer on a sinking ship.
I assume you apply polymer on strips of cloth, like papier-mâché.
That would be correct.
Okay.
I will get to work on that.
I'll ballast the boat.
Maybe a shift in the weight will bring the hole out of the water.
Just working in a kitchen.
Standard Thanksgiving, right? I'm not feeling very thankful.
And I know that you're just trying to take my mind off of the situation.
I am.
Because I know working with a team of geniuses can be trying.
(short laugh) I'm seriously starting to doubt that anyone on this team is a genius.
Excuse me, but a genius would have done the math to know that your product is jellyfish bait.
So, one, this is your fault.
And two, I am trying to be nice to you, but I draw the line at you badmouthing my nerds.
HAPPY (over comm): Sly? What's going on over there? Ladies are fighting.
This predicament is not the fault of my product-- which, by the way, is working like gangbusters.
That plastic bound together faster than any of you could calculate.
Oh, oh, I didn't see the Nobel Prize committee.
Maybe they're stuck in the quadrillion jellyfish you attracted! Oh, okay.
Sorry, Miss Perfect.
What? Oh, please.
The hot mom with the genius kid, dating the boss.
It's super easy to criticize when you've had it easy.
I built a successful company out of nothing.
Then one lousy quarter and the shareholders just voted me out.
And now I'm clawing my way back and I will not allow the bad luck of being Scorpion's neighbor to derail me.
I will also not allow someone to insult my work after everything that I've put into it.
What do you even know about-about breaking your back to make it on your own? Someone's about to get schooled.
Let me tell you how easy I've had it.
I'm a single mom.
My son and I have lived in rat-infested motels, cold water apartments, and, for one week when he was three, my car.
I've had my butt grabbed by every creep in L.
A.
who thinks my ass comes with the blue plate special.
And I insulted your work because you put my team in jeopardy, and I wanted to hurt your feelings because you're being a jerk.
(liquid bubbling) I believe we have liquification.
Oh, there's a lot of jellyfish.
Staring at them won't tell us if this slop will protect us.
You're right.
Shove your arm in.
You're the boss.
You shove your arm in.
The fact that you admitted that I'm the boss means that you should shove your arm in.
This trash-raft is crumbling under us.
We're gonna be filled with venom in five minutes if this doesn't work, so shove your damn arm in! I don't know how Toby does it.
Not a sting.
Not even a tickle.
For now.
The water's movement will start washing off this gunk as soon as we're wet; we'll be without protection in less than ten minutes.
Then we'll swim fast.
Gonna be hard for a guy who didn't focus on athletics.
SYLVESTER: That'll raise the hole a bit out of the water.
Water will still slosh into the boat, but at a slower rate, so we're still sinking.
Sealant is done.
Now all we have to do is lower it to Happy and Walter.
Lower it? We can just patch it right here.
If we patch it on the inside, the water pressure will make it pop out.
But if we patch it on the outside, the water pressure will compress the patch to the hull, making it stronger.
You hear that, Walt, Happy? You're going to work.
Came here to get plastic out of the ocean, now we're lowering tar into it.
I am a skilled chemist but I am not a biologist.
So, it's outside my scope of expertise to know that my product would attract the jellyfish.
Probably should've thought of that before offering it up.
I'm responsible for us being in this situation.
This is my attempt at an apology.
And this is my acceptance of it.
HAPPY: Get that junk that they've lowered down and I'll grab that rope out of the hole.
We really don't have time for this.
The jellyfish will know soon enough that we are not one of them.
If we don't patch the hole, we're just climbing onto a sinking ship.
But we should work fast, because I can feel them getting curious down there.
This stuff is working like a charm! How fast does it seal? Within seconds of application.
This is good stuff.
Nice work, Flo.
FLORENCE: Thank you.
It's Florence.
HAPPY: Whoa! Big swell! Finish quickly, please.
The jellies aren't fooled anymore.
Aah! Aah I think I just got stung.
Aah! Oh, okay, me, too.
(grunts) Okay.
I'm done.
Another swell hold on.
Whoa (shrieks) Florence! (gasping) Help me! Aah! You get on the boat! I'll grab Florence! Happy! Grab the ladder! Hurry! (sputtering) Aah! You know, I've never really watched Walter swim before.
He focuses on research, not athletics.
TOBY (over comm): Walt, if she's getting repeatedly stung, you've got about ten seconds before she goes into shock.
(gasping) She's going under! Hold on.
I got you.
(panting) Thank you.
You okay? My leg.
One bad sting.
TOBY: The boat should have a freshwater line.
Hose down her leg and then saturate the other two once they're on the deck.
Hey! (groans) Guys? I don't think Walt's fish goop is helping much anymore.
Cabe, if they don't get Flo to a hospital fast, she could go into full anaphylaxis and die.
Where's the ride? It's not like I'm ordering a pizza.
They're in the middle of the ocean.
I'm pulling every string I can.
Then pull more! (timer dings) (dings) TOBY: Cabe? Cabe! Where'd you just go? Uh, no nowhere.
Uh, sh-shut up, I'm fine.
(grunts) PAIGE: Oh, my God.
She has stings all over her.
I'm gonna spray them down! Get off any bits of tentacles.
Those can sting even after they've detached from the jellyfish.
Aah! And find vinegar.
I'll check the galley.
Florence? Florence! Florence! Toby, she's in trouble.
Her breathing's labored and she's pale, unresponsive.
TOBY: Just pour the vinegar on her.
(wheezing) Wrap her in blankets to keep her warm.
I'll get blankets! Vinegar.
Florence, stay with me.
SYLVESTER: You have multiple stings; you need to save some of that for yourself.
She needs it more than I do.
CABE: All right, I got a buddy out of Pendleton that flies a medevac chopper.
She doesn't have enough fuel to get there and back, but if they meet her ten miles east, she can get to the hospital.
We can't move an inch east! Jellyfish have clogged our engines! Maybe we won't have the jellyfish to deal with.
Cabe, give us the coordinates that we need to reach; Sly, chart the course.
CABE: Chopper's gonna be at 192 degrees north by 87 degrees west in 24 minutes.
She has enough time to hover and pick them up, but if you're not there, she turns for base.
Walter, how do you plan, exactly, to get this boat going? We need to light the ocean on fire.
Douse the area around the engine with fuel.
It'll light right above the jellyfish and scare 'em off.
Letting us get the engines to full speed, provided we don't blow up the boat.
That is a risk.
Do it fast.
Your patient doesn't have any more time.
Sly, Walt, fuel drum.
Okay.
First we dump tar into the ocean, and now we are dumping fuel.
Greater good.
If we save Florence, she'll do more to preserve the environment with her scientific work than the damage that we're doing right now in this moment.
Don't tell her I told you that.
You think this is gonna be enough? Only one way to find out.
Happy, need your Zippo.
Now, get back in the cabin and get ready.
Oh, Happy, if I ignite, will you tell baby Walena I was a hero? It's never gonna happen.
What, me igniting, or you naming the baby after me? Don't make me choose.
Okay.
How will we know if it worked? If we don't explode.
Walt, light it up.
Happy, the flames are against the side of the boat.
We have to get out of here.
You heard him.
I need to make sure that the jellies move away from the engine.
When?! Now.
She's not doing well.
Happy, start the damn engine! Happy! (engine stalling) Uh, she's not turning over.
This is not happening.
Happy, the boat's starting to burn.
This was supposed to be my vacation day! (engine starts) Okay, hold tight.
(engine revving) We'll have you on a medevac in just a few minutes, okay? Just hold on.
Okay, glad to hear.
Florence has made a full recovery.
Hospital's releasing her.
Great news.
I'll go pick her up.
Okay.
More great news.
Satellite images show the garbage island is almost fully dissolved.
I won't wear this apron, and I really should not be the one checking on the food.
I don't cook, I reheat.
I'll finish up the turkey, but could you please keep it down? (whispering): They're still in the trailer.
Right.
Forgot.
(whispering): Doctor is in.
TOBY: Bunch of things sent you into space today.
One time during a very critical moment in the case.
You want that to happen again? It was a momentary lapse.
No, it wasn't.
You know that.
You're having memory triggers.
I think you're starting to remember what really happened the night your father died.
I told you what really happened.
What was that, again? Damn it, Doc, the-the cops came to the door and they gave us the news.
And then your mom stopped her mopping.
There was popcorn popping, and what else? Why does there have to always be something else? My mom, she took care of me.
She hugged me, she told me everything was gonna be okay.
She put some calamine lotion on my neck You hadn't mentioned that before.
Why'd she put calamine lotion on your neck? 'Cause of the blanket that the cops gave me.
It was it was wool, and I had a reaction to it.
Why did the cops give you a blanket? Because it was cold that night.
Well, you were in your house.
Right.
I was, uh I was at the house, uh The cops must have brought me back there afterwards.
I don't know.
Brought you back from where? The bodega.
My God, I was at the bodega.
(register rings) (echoing): Money in the bag, or you're dead! I froze.
I was there I saw the guy I should have said something sooner, and he'd still be alive.
Cabe, the only person responsible for your father's death is the man who shot him, not you.
No, I froze.
I was responsible.
You were a child.
Children don't stop men with guns.
Children make up stories, and you made up one.
Perfectly popped popcorn and wonderful pine scents, and this impossibly picturesque loss of a father.
Your story was so damn good, you believed it as an adult.
You were just trying to protect this nine-year-old version of you, because, deep down, you blame yourself, because you were only nine years old.
You were nine, Cabe.
So now you're 59.
Why don't you stop beating up on that little kid? Why is all this stuff coming up now? Why now? Because you think if you get sent to jail, you'll be failing us, like you think you failed your father.
You think you need to protect us, like you thought you needed to protect your father.
And that's why you haven't been coming around much the past few weeks-- guilt.
Cabe, you did not fail your father, and you're not failing us.
You've taken care of us for a long time.
Now it's time to let us take care of you.
(sighs) Hey.
How'd it go? It was good.
I'm better.
HAPPY: Well, you helped cook this slop, so your work is done here, old man.
I'll make sure, uh, you get a drumstick.
How about we take a load off? Okay.
Hey.
How is he? It was a rough therapy session, but he'll be all right.
He just needs us.
Oh, hey, uh, while I have a moment Say the word âWalenaâ-- and it's a word, not a name-- you get yams down your pants.
Hey, I just wanted to apologize for harping on about the name of your future offspring.
Okay.
It's just, I, uh, I don't know if I'll ever have children.
It's not something that I thought about.
You know, until Ralph came around, and then I, you know, I thought I might not be such a terrible parent.
Which is not something that's been discussed with Paige.
It's not really appropriate yet.
But you and Toby, I hired you.
You wouldn't know each other if it wasn't for me.
So if you had a child, it would just be something that I I'd take a lot of pride in.
Fine.
You've touched my heart.
âWalterâ is on the list.
Just don't tell Toby.
Ralph, can you help her to her seat? Carefully.
There she is, the chemist of the hour.
How you feeling, Flo? Um, it's Florence.
Uh, I-I feel tired.
But I'm glad to be alive, due to your efforts.
I've said unkind things to you.
They were not deserved.
So I will endeavor to be a better neighbor.
What is What's this? New flasks, to replace the ones I broke.
Thank you.
You're not the problem urchin I thought you were.
WALTER: So, while I'm glad that she's okay, I'm still not sure about her.
Well, I'm gonna give her a chance, and I think you should, too.
HAPPY: All right, everybody ready to shove food in our gullets or what? TOBY: No, no, not yet.
Tradition dictates that Dad sits at the head of the table.
And, from what I've gleaned from Norman Rockwell paintings he carves.
I've realized recently that I've been messing a bit with my memories.
Been rewriting 'em over the years.
I'm not gonna do that anymore.
And it's okay, 'cause I got a great girl and I've got great friends.
No matter what the future holds for me, I want to remember this moment right now exactly as it is.
'Cause to have you all in my life, I am truly thankful.
ALL: Hear, hear!
I was getting ready to watch my favorite show.
(music plays over television) My dad was at work.
My mom was mopping.
I remember because I love the pine smell of that soap.
(popcorn popping) Could hear popcorn on the stove.
(doorbell rings) That was the night my father died.
H-How did you feel in that moment or in the moments that followed? I felt blessed.
Blessed? Blessed to have such a strong mother that was able to get the two of us through such a tough time.
That's wonderful.
And powerful.
Well, still, though, loss of a father My father died a hero, and I had it better than most.
I mean, I learned more from that old man in nine years than most people learn in a lifetime.
I was blessed.
Yeah, there's no doubt he was a good father.
You're proof of that.
(chuckles lightly) Didn't you ever wonder why this happened to such a good man? You know, a lot of people ask, âWhy me?â But why not me? Bad things happen all the time.
Why should I be exempt? (timer dings) Time's up.
Hey, thank you for opening up about that.
I-I know you don't like sharing and hardly ever talk about your father.
I guess it's not really therapy unless you dig into Mom and Dad, huh? That's true.
Hey, I'm glad we got this session in.
I haven't seen you around much the past few weeks.
Like you only drop in between cases to mooch meals.
You know, I'm doing some, uh, legal research for my trial, trying to lighten Sly's workload.
Sly hasn't mentioned anything.
I haven't found anything useful.
There's nothing to report.
Well, I hope you and your friends are hungry.
PAIGE: Hope you guys aren't too hungry.
Thanksgiving on a tight budget.
Glad Toby likes canned cranberry 'cause we can't afford to make the real thing.
And Tom Turkey is a little smaller than last year.
Oh, Thomas.
That's a great name for a boy.
I can't talk about this with you anymore.
Why? Picking baby names is the fun part.
Baby? Did I miss an announcement? No.
No baby on the immediate horizon, but Toby is determined to pick a name pronto.
He read a study about how a strong name increases chances of a successful life.
Totally irrational.
HAPPY: Agreed.
The thing is, Toby wants to name the kid after a distinguished relative, and that takes us back a few generations and I do not want to end up raising an Obadiah Curtis, so I need some alternatives.
Well, one obvious alternative would be to name the baby Walter or Walena if it's a girl.
You said Toby wants a name that invokes success.
TOBY: Let me save everyone the suspense.
There's not a chance our bambino is gonna be saddled with either one of those names.
I'm sorry, Walena.
Hey, is it here? Did it come? Thought you were taking a vacation day.
SYLVESTER: Uh, I did, but the new Chair of Blades book comes out today, and I had it delivered here instead of my apartment.
Okay, you got a package an hour ago.
(laughs) It took J.
Randall P.
Smythe ten years to write this.
Ah, its weight is the heft of literary substance.
TOBY: Sly, the book's about magic.
Magic is for children's birthday parties, not grown men.
This is all nonsense.
Nuh-uh.
Look at that chair.
It's made of blades.
Can't sit in that chair.
Your body would be shred to pieces.
Not if you're a Klentorian because their bodies are impervious.
It's another example of the infantilization of American culture.
CABE: I love those books.
Does that make me an infant? Anyway What's with the thermos, buddy? Oh, I was inspired by Walt's brain food regimen, so this is a fish-based protein shake to get me through the read.
No meal breaks.
This is gonna be an all-nighter.
FLORENCE: Excuse me.
Where is this child's mother? Right here.
What's going on? I think this belongs to you.
Yes, his name's Ralph.
Let go of his wrist, please.
What's going on? He was crawling through the ceiling vents in my lab.
That is, until he fell through the ceiling and destroyed a very expensive set of Erlenmeyer flasks.
Are you okay? He's fine.
I checked.
What were you looking for up there? Parental guidance, perhaps.
Could you please let my son answer? Spill it.
Some of our waxworms matured into moths and flew into the vents.
I know Florence is particular about her work space, so I went to retrieve them so that she wouldn't get upset.
How'd that work out for you? Ralph, what do you have to say? Those vents are poorly constructed.
You're reading the room wrong, kid.
I apologize.
Well, I don't blame you.
You're a child, curious and unformed.
It is the job of your parent to keep an eye on you.
Paige is an excellent mother.
If you must know, I give Ralph a little bit more freedom because he is a genius.
What a shock-- an L.
A.
mother who thinks that her child is a genius.
And watch your moth infestation.
HAPPY: It's not an infestation.
It's a solution we've devised for NOAA, National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration.
I'm familiar.
It is a prestigious job.
We're cleaning the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a 500-ton mass of plastic shards floating in the ocean.
HAPPY: Until a piece the size of a football field broke off, started drifting toward the West Coast, leaching chemicals as it goes.
I am assuming you're using waxworms because they eat and digest plastic, rendering it nontoxic.
I can see that you developed some sort of binding agent? We spray it on the plastic shards so it hardens into a solid mass.
That way we can walk right onto the trash and scatter the worms.
Just what geniuses do.
It's a foolproof solution.
(snorts lightly) If you consider a 93% success rate foolproof.
Excuse me? Your binding agent is flawed.
It has a chemical that will partially pass through the worms intact, right back into the Pacific.
I estimate a seven percent rate of failure.
That would leave 35 tons of plastic in the ocean.
Well, that's assuming she's correct, which she isn't.
Our formula is better than every existing binding agent.
Not every existing binding agent.
The one that I made in my lab, despite constant interruptions, is fully organic.
No chemical coating.
Your worms could digest a hundred percent of the plastic.
Last time I checked, a hundred percent is better than 93, but I'm not a genius.
I'm just a chemist.
Lucky for you guys, my lab has run into a bit of a funding gap, so I'm willing to tag along for one sixth of the take.
Absolutely not.
PAIGE: Walter, perhaps we should I don't like her.
Excuse me.
Walter, you're letting your personal feelings get in the way of work.
Now, if her product is more effec more effective, then we'll do a better job with the 100-yard chunk of ocean trash, and perhaps we'll get hired to clean up the rest and then we won't be broke anymore.
She's arrogant and condescending.
Oh, hi, pot.
I see you've met kettle.
HAPPY: I know she stinks, but since when does Walter O'Brien choose the less efficient route? You have a deal.
At one-sixth our fee, assuming your product passes inspection.
So, we leave in 40 minutes.
So, let's pack up the worms.
It's today? It's Thanksgiving.
Not that it's your business, but NOAA charges a great deal for use of their boats, so we procured one of our own.
And the rates are cheapest on Thanksgiving.
Wonderful.
You have holiday plans, so you can't come with us.
Actually I'm free.
WALTER: No plans.
No friends.
How not shocking.
(car horn honking) Oh, Ralph, that's your troop leader.
Don't forget our contribution for the food drive, and I'll see you tonight at dinner.
Hey, Paige, can I get a word with you in the kitchen? You know, I think I'm gonna hang back, make the yams.
You don't cook.
Cabe is on the verge of a major breakthrough in therapy.
I think I can really help him with all his fears about the trial and prison.
I mean, we're making some good progress here.
That's great.
I think it'd be good if I stay here with him.
I mean, you don't really need me or an unarmed intern to scatter worms on garbage.
No, but we'll be a pair of hands short.
SYLVESTER: Yes.
I got a solution.
Hey, buddy.
Hey, pal.
I have to tell you, I am just loving my vacation.
I'm just loving my vacation.
Oh, man.
Okay, Ralph's pumpkin launcher is loaded.
Now, the balls have a three-second timer, so it should explode shortly after launch, raining binding agent down on plastic shards and hardening the plastic.
That's assuming that your chemical solution works.
It does.
HAPPY: Walt, hold up.
I ran the physics, I know the launch angle, give me that sucker.
Fire in the hole! (shouts) All right.
The agent should congeal the plastic into one solid mass.
It'll be safe to walk on in about two hours.
Looks like you've got some time to read.
Best vacation ever.
Look at you, pretty handy with a yam.
Yeah, you don't need an IQ like yours to peel vegetables.
That story you were telling me earlier got me thinking about those old TVs.
Grandmother had one.
I loved it, except the reception was always so fuzzy.
Not ours.
Perfect picture.
Hmm.
That stove-top popcorn, ah, that brought me back, too.
Used to love watching the tinfoil rise, but that bottom layer always got burnt.
Not the way my mom did it.
Was good to the last kernel.
I'm gonna hit the head.
Be right back.
Patient confirms likely fictitious recollections.
His details are suffering from nostalgic whitewashing where no bad memory, even something as small as burnt popcorn, is allowed to exist.
Further research is required.
Plastic's consolidated.
FLORENCE: Two hours on the dot.
My binding agent worked perfectly.
Well, let's hope it doesn't disintegrate under our feet.
Be careful.
Look at you, walking right across the water.
Toby always said Walt had a god complex.
Solid as advertised.
(quietly): Congratulations, you perfected glue.
Okay, let's get to it.
Sly, help Happy unpack the worms.
That was not a part of my vacation.
It's just 'cause Toby wanted to make yams.
HAPPY: Been watching these guys for an hour now.
They start eating as soon as they hit pay dirt.
This is gonna work better than we thought.
WALTER: Yeah.
Uh, Paige? The current is starting to drift the boat away from the island.
Could you guys secure the vessel? PAIGE: We've been trying.
Attempting to steady this boat while Sly parks this baby.
I don't know when that's going to happen.
Having a little bit of trouble dropping anchor.
Have you tried a high-fiber diet? Well, that kind of humor is Toby's influence.
SYLVESTER: Guys, seriously.
I'm jammed up.
I'll let that one lie.
PAIGE: Walt, we can't get this anchor mechanism to work.
We're gonna drift a little bit, but when you're done, we'll swing by, pick you up.
Copy that.
So, um, speaking of the influence that Dr.
Curtis has had on you, I hope he's not forcing your hand on the baby name front.
Since when can Toby force my hand on anything? He got you to marry him.
Touché.
You know, I'm just saying, that history has had its share of exemplary Walters.
Milwaukee North Side Strangler: Walter Ellis.
Sir Walter Raleigh, founder of the doomed colony of Roanoke, and, of course, Walter Mondale.
What's wrong with Mondale? He lost 49 out of 50 states.
So, if you want your kid to grow up to be a loser, that's your choice.
Just spread your worms.
Can't.
My buckets are empty.
Yeah, me, too.
WALTER: Okay.
Let's let these guys feast and clean the Pacific.
Paige, we're done.
Come get us.
Okay.
On our way.
(engine stalling) Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.
The engine doesn't seem to want to turn over.
There's no âseemâ when it comes to engines.
Either they work or they don't.
Then we're dealing with a âdon'tâ situation, because the fuel is high, there's-there's no warning lights.
Just sounds really angry.
Thank you for the high-end diagnostic.
But there's got to be a reason Walt? We got a problem.
FLORENCE: Those are men o' war.
There's thousands of them.
I believe the plural is âman of wars.
â HAPPY: Whatever they are, they are caught in the works of the anchor and the engine's water intake.
That's why the boat is dead.
Are they eating the trash? No.
Jellyfish don't eat garbage.
If they did, we wouldn't have brought worms.
It's not the garbage that they're eating, it's the binding agent.
What'd you put in the solution? Agar, various proteins, copepods, rotifers.
Copepods and rotifers? Building blocks for zooplankton.
It's the snack of choice for jellyfish.
How did you not think of that? Because I am a chemist, not a zoologist.
So why didn't you think to ask? Doesn't matter whose fault it is.
Kind of matters.
Point is, we can't start the engine until we clear out the jellyfish.
Clear out the super-poisonous, deadly jellyfish? Sounds simple.
FLORENCE: Great.
There's no signal out here.
Okay.
I-I'll radio the Coast Guard.
HAPPY: Better get here fast, 'cause we just dropped a thousand plastic-eating worms on this island, and in 90 minutes, it'll disintegrate, and we'll be in the water getting stung to death.
Actually, man o' war stings are toxic, not lethal.
How about a hundred of them? Totally lethal.
Well, the bloom has doubled since we've been talking.
They can do more than double.
Blooms can grow dozens of miles long.
So by the time the Coast Guard gets here, they'll have to anchor 12 miles out and row to us, by which time, we will definitely be in the water.
Once again, getting stung to death.
I am so glad you came along today, Flo.
Scorpion 4x09 It's Raining Men (of War) Worms must have been starving 'cause this garbage raft is decaying faster than anticipated.
SYLVESTER: More bad news.
The Coast Guard is hours away.
We don't have hours.
That's the first correct thing you've said today.
I have a potential, yet stressful, solution.
Uh, we connect two ropes to form a bridge between the garbage island and our boat.
Your fix is to make us swing over deadly sea creatures? How are we supposed to get the rope all the way to them? Harpoon gun.
Harpoon gun.
I spotted it earlier, when we were loading gear in the cabin.
Fairly certain I saw it first.
I think this just might work.
(plastic cracking) HAPPY: Okay, Sly? Hurry and launch that rope! This thing is cracking under our feet! Ugh.
Cabe, you mind hitting that with some cleanser? I'm wrist-deep in chowder over here.
Sure.
(cabinet opens) (Cabe sighs) You okay? Yeah, I'm-I'm fine, I I'm gonna get a pan for the turkey.
Patient exhibits strong reaction to olfactory memory trigger.
Moving on to second phase of testing.
(recorder beeps) PAIGE: Are you ready to launch that thing or what? Just calculating the trajectory of the harpoon.
I need to be seven more inches off the ground in order to achieve the angle necessary to securely plant the harpoon on the island.
This thing's about seven inches.
My tome? Just stand on the damn thing.
J.
Randall P.
Smythe, forgive me.
By the fire of Klentoria! (grunts) Seems sturdy.
Good work, Sly.
Thanks, but we won't know for sure until someone's actually on it, though.
I'll just put you up here for safekeeping.
Lots of lethal planktonic invertebrates down there.
So, who wants to go first? I'll go.
Oh, sure, yeah.
The person who caused the predicament should absolutely be the first one to safety.
It's pretty gutsy.
If this thing doesn't hold, she's the test dummy.
Suppose you're right.
The wind is pretty unpredictable, so keep the space in between your hands equidistant on each swing to prevent stability loss.
That is apparent.
Thank you.
I hope you have the requisite upper body strength to make it across.
I think ten years of Tae Bo has prepared me well.
Well, I focus my time on research, not athletics.
Yes.
(grunts) Strong little monkey.
Yeah.
Well, she focuses on athletics, not research.
Well, she's a strong little monkey.
Okay, come on.
We got you.
(grunting) Okay.
(rope creaking) Oh, boy.
SYLVESTER: The current's pulling back out.
The rope doesn't have the tensile strength to take on much strain! Guys, get across now! I'll hold it steady.
You go.
But then you'll have to go on your own.
You don't have the best balance, you know? I focus my time on research, not athletics.
Okay.
Snippy.
Sheesh.
Whoa, Nellie! Hold on! Hold on! I don't think the rope's gonna hold.
Oh, forget the rope.
The harpoon's being pulled out! HAPPY: Walt, if that harpoon pops, I'm a goner! (screams) I can't hold on! I'm turning back.
I think the harpoon's coming out! The harpoon is definitely coming out.
Happy, hurry! The harpoon punctured the hull.
We're taking on water.
When the harpoon snapped off, it took a hunk of plastic with it.
Made the hole worse.
Thank you for the play-by-play.
I'd always hoped to die fully informed.
PAIGE: All right, I'm radioing the Coast Guard to get an ETA on their arrival.
Not possible.
The harpoon cut the telecom hub.
FLORENCE: Great, so there's no radio and no cell service.
And the yahoos in the garage won't have their comms in until Cabe's therapy is wrapped up, so we can't get to them for help.
Not necessarily.
Just 'cause they don't have them in, doesn't mean they can't hear us.
How are they supposed to hear us over their comms if they're not wearing them? They're not bats.
SYLVESTER: Actually, moths have better hearing than bats, but I totally get your point.
Who the hell cares? Walter, I'm not about to sink out here with these nerds.
What's your plan? WALTER: We manipulate the comm's microwave frequencies to send a high-pitch signal.
You'll need to manipulate the transmitter.
I can use a paper clip.
Great idea, but the water rushing in won't wait for the Coast Guard.
HAPPY: So, plug the hole.
No clue how, so don't ask for a follow-up.
Okay, okay, I can synthesize a polymer using the plastic from the harpoon, boiled together with the unvulcanized rubber sealant from the hull.
Let's get cooking.
Okay.
Um, boss? Are we gonna ignore the jellyfish in the room? They can fix the boat all they want, but we can't fix this plastic craptastic barge we're on.
Well, once they get in touch with Toby and Cabe, they'll get help.
Until then, I'm confident in the seaworthiness of this thing (yelps) Okay, we're dead if we don't get off this thing.
The worms are starting to eat right through it.
We just need to figure out a way to swim without getting stung.
Perhaps Groucho Marx glasses.
They'll never recognize us.
Disguise.
E-Exactly.
The jellyfish hunt via taste and smell, so if we mimic their biological makeup, then they'll think that we're jellyfish, too, and ignore us.
Sly, we'll need your fish oil-based protein shake.
My lunch? WALTER: If we denature the shake proteins with sea salt that's collected on the plastic, we'll be able to mimic the proteins in the bells of the jellyfish.
We'll baste up like a couple of turkeys and swim past the jellies.
But my lunch is here.
(gasps) The pumpkin chucker.
We have extra plastic balls from when we launched the binding agent.
We can fill them with my protein shake.
Paige, I will talk you through modifying the launcher so it can properly toss Sly's lunch.
Really? Could you people be any less mature? I'm headed topside.
Oh, and we could be infinitely less mature.
Happy could've easily said it's time to launch Sly's balls, but she didn't.
Hmm.
Look at that golden beauty, Doc, huh? Staying back, doing the cooking.
What better way to spend a day? Doesn't mean it can't be made better with some popcorn, right? (corn kernels popping) Oh! (kernels continue popping) You all right, hombre? Yeah.
Yeah, that popping startled me.
Never considered popcorn one of the scarier snack foods.
What about that sound threw you off guard? (erratic whistling sound) What the hell is that? It's coming from over there.
(whistling sound continues) What's your problem? Toby! Cabe! Mayday! Mayday! What the hell? Cabe, put in the comm.
What's going on? SYLVESTER: Ship sinking! Jellyfish bloom! Walter and Happy trapped on a disintegrating trash island! The radio is broken, Coast Guard is too far off, and we need help! Give me the coordinates, I'll start making calls.
PAIGE: Okay, getting ready.
Oh, boy.
The boat is taking on a lot of water! Okay, Florence, ETA on the goop? Once it liquefies.
ETA on the liquefying? When it's good and ready, and no amount of questioning is going to speed that along.
You're stressed.
That's understandable.
This is your first Scorpion disaster.
We're used to it.
FLORENCE: How do you know that I'm stressed? Maybe this is how I normally act when I'm synthesizing a polymer on a sinking ship.
I assume you apply polymer on strips of cloth, like papier-mâché.
That would be correct.
Okay.
I will get to work on that.
I'll ballast the boat.
Maybe a shift in the weight will bring the hole out of the water.
Just working in a kitchen.
Standard Thanksgiving, right? I'm not feeling very thankful.
And I know that you're just trying to take my mind off of the situation.
I am.
Because I know working with a team of geniuses can be trying.
(short laugh) I'm seriously starting to doubt that anyone on this team is a genius.
Excuse me, but a genius would have done the math to know that your product is jellyfish bait.
So, one, this is your fault.
And two, I am trying to be nice to you, but I draw the line at you badmouthing my nerds.
HAPPY (over comm): Sly? What's going on over there? Ladies are fighting.
This predicament is not the fault of my product-- which, by the way, is working like gangbusters.
That plastic bound together faster than any of you could calculate.
Oh, oh, I didn't see the Nobel Prize committee.
Maybe they're stuck in the quadrillion jellyfish you attracted! Oh, okay.
Sorry, Miss Perfect.
What? Oh, please.
The hot mom with the genius kid, dating the boss.
It's super easy to criticize when you've had it easy.
I built a successful company out of nothing.
Then one lousy quarter and the shareholders just voted me out.
And now I'm clawing my way back and I will not allow the bad luck of being Scorpion's neighbor to derail me.
I will also not allow someone to insult my work after everything that I've put into it.
What do you even know about-about breaking your back to make it on your own? Someone's about to get schooled.
Let me tell you how easy I've had it.
I'm a single mom.
My son and I have lived in rat-infested motels, cold water apartments, and, for one week when he was three, my car.
I've had my butt grabbed by every creep in L.
A.
who thinks my ass comes with the blue plate special.
And I insulted your work because you put my team in jeopardy, and I wanted to hurt your feelings because you're being a jerk.
(liquid bubbling) I believe we have liquification.
Oh, there's a lot of jellyfish.
Staring at them won't tell us if this slop will protect us.
You're right.
Shove your arm in.
You're the boss.
You shove your arm in.
The fact that you admitted that I'm the boss means that you should shove your arm in.
This trash-raft is crumbling under us.
We're gonna be filled with venom in five minutes if this doesn't work, so shove your damn arm in! I don't know how Toby does it.
Not a sting.
Not even a tickle.
For now.
The water's movement will start washing off this gunk as soon as we're wet; we'll be without protection in less than ten minutes.
Then we'll swim fast.
Gonna be hard for a guy who didn't focus on athletics.
SYLVESTER: That'll raise the hole a bit out of the water.
Water will still slosh into the boat, but at a slower rate, so we're still sinking.
Sealant is done.
Now all we have to do is lower it to Happy and Walter.
Lower it? We can just patch it right here.
If we patch it on the inside, the water pressure will make it pop out.
But if we patch it on the outside, the water pressure will compress the patch to the hull, making it stronger.
You hear that, Walt, Happy? You're going to work.
Came here to get plastic out of the ocean, now we're lowering tar into it.
I am a skilled chemist but I am not a biologist.
So, it's outside my scope of expertise to know that my product would attract the jellyfish.
Probably should've thought of that before offering it up.
I'm responsible for us being in this situation.
This is my attempt at an apology.
And this is my acceptance of it.
HAPPY: Get that junk that they've lowered down and I'll grab that rope out of the hole.
We really don't have time for this.
The jellyfish will know soon enough that we are not one of them.
If we don't patch the hole, we're just climbing onto a sinking ship.
But we should work fast, because I can feel them getting curious down there.
This stuff is working like a charm! How fast does it seal? Within seconds of application.
This is good stuff.
Nice work, Flo.
FLORENCE: Thank you.
It's Florence.
HAPPY: Whoa! Big swell! Finish quickly, please.
The jellies aren't fooled anymore.
Aah! Aah I think I just got stung.
Aah! Oh, okay, me, too.
(grunts) Okay.
I'm done.
Another swell hold on.
Whoa (shrieks) Florence! (gasping) Help me! Aah! You get on the boat! I'll grab Florence! Happy! Grab the ladder! Hurry! (sputtering) Aah! You know, I've never really watched Walter swim before.
He focuses on research, not athletics.
TOBY (over comm): Walt, if she's getting repeatedly stung, you've got about ten seconds before she goes into shock.
(gasping) She's going under! Hold on.
I got you.
(panting) Thank you.
You okay? My leg.
One bad sting.
TOBY: The boat should have a freshwater line.
Hose down her leg and then saturate the other two once they're on the deck.
Hey! (groans) Guys? I don't think Walt's fish goop is helping much anymore.
Cabe, if they don't get Flo to a hospital fast, she could go into full anaphylaxis and die.
Where's the ride? It's not like I'm ordering a pizza.
They're in the middle of the ocean.
I'm pulling every string I can.
Then pull more! (timer dings) (dings) TOBY: Cabe? Cabe! Where'd you just go? Uh, no nowhere.
Uh, sh-shut up, I'm fine.
(grunts) PAIGE: Oh, my God.
She has stings all over her.
I'm gonna spray them down! Get off any bits of tentacles.
Those can sting even after they've detached from the jellyfish.
Aah! And find vinegar.
I'll check the galley.
Florence? Florence! Florence! Toby, she's in trouble.
Her breathing's labored and she's pale, unresponsive.
TOBY: Just pour the vinegar on her.
(wheezing) Wrap her in blankets to keep her warm.
I'll get blankets! Vinegar.
Florence, stay with me.
SYLVESTER: You have multiple stings; you need to save some of that for yourself.
She needs it more than I do.
CABE: All right, I got a buddy out of Pendleton that flies a medevac chopper.
She doesn't have enough fuel to get there and back, but if they meet her ten miles east, she can get to the hospital.
We can't move an inch east! Jellyfish have clogged our engines! Maybe we won't have the jellyfish to deal with.
Cabe, give us the coordinates that we need to reach; Sly, chart the course.
CABE: Chopper's gonna be at 192 degrees north by 87 degrees west in 24 minutes.
She has enough time to hover and pick them up, but if you're not there, she turns for base.
Walter, how do you plan, exactly, to get this boat going? We need to light the ocean on fire.
Douse the area around the engine with fuel.
It'll light right above the jellyfish and scare 'em off.
Letting us get the engines to full speed, provided we don't blow up the boat.
That is a risk.
Do it fast.
Your patient doesn't have any more time.
Sly, Walt, fuel drum.
Okay.
First we dump tar into the ocean, and now we are dumping fuel.
Greater good.
If we save Florence, she'll do more to preserve the environment with her scientific work than the damage that we're doing right now in this moment.
Don't tell her I told you that.
You think this is gonna be enough? Only one way to find out.
Happy, need your Zippo.
Now, get back in the cabin and get ready.
Oh, Happy, if I ignite, will you tell baby Walena I was a hero? It's never gonna happen.
What, me igniting, or you naming the baby after me? Don't make me choose.
Okay.
How will we know if it worked? If we don't explode.
Walt, light it up.
Happy, the flames are against the side of the boat.
We have to get out of here.
You heard him.
I need to make sure that the jellies move away from the engine.
When?! Now.
She's not doing well.
Happy, start the damn engine! Happy! (engine stalling) Uh, she's not turning over.
This is not happening.
Happy, the boat's starting to burn.
This was supposed to be my vacation day! (engine starts) Okay, hold tight.
(engine revving) We'll have you on a medevac in just a few minutes, okay? Just hold on.
Okay, glad to hear.
Florence has made a full recovery.
Hospital's releasing her.
Great news.
I'll go pick her up.
Okay.
More great news.
Satellite images show the garbage island is almost fully dissolved.
I won't wear this apron, and I really should not be the one checking on the food.
I don't cook, I reheat.
I'll finish up the turkey, but could you please keep it down? (whispering): They're still in the trailer.
Right.
Forgot.
(whispering): Doctor is in.
TOBY: Bunch of things sent you into space today.
One time during a very critical moment in the case.
You want that to happen again? It was a momentary lapse.
No, it wasn't.
You know that.
You're having memory triggers.
I think you're starting to remember what really happened the night your father died.
I told you what really happened.
What was that, again? Damn it, Doc, the-the cops came to the door and they gave us the news.
And then your mom stopped her mopping.
There was popcorn popping, and what else? Why does there have to always be something else? My mom, she took care of me.
She hugged me, she told me everything was gonna be okay.
She put some calamine lotion on my neck You hadn't mentioned that before.
Why'd she put calamine lotion on your neck? 'Cause of the blanket that the cops gave me.
It was it was wool, and I had a reaction to it.
Why did the cops give you a blanket? Because it was cold that night.
Well, you were in your house.
Right.
I was, uh I was at the house, uh The cops must have brought me back there afterwards.
I don't know.
Brought you back from where? The bodega.
My God, I was at the bodega.
(register rings) (echoing): Money in the bag, or you're dead! I froze.
I was there I saw the guy I should have said something sooner, and he'd still be alive.
Cabe, the only person responsible for your father's death is the man who shot him, not you.
No, I froze.
I was responsible.
You were a child.
Children don't stop men with guns.
Children make up stories, and you made up one.
Perfectly popped popcorn and wonderful pine scents, and this impossibly picturesque loss of a father.
Your story was so damn good, you believed it as an adult.
You were just trying to protect this nine-year-old version of you, because, deep down, you blame yourself, because you were only nine years old.
You were nine, Cabe.
So now you're 59.
Why don't you stop beating up on that little kid? Why is all this stuff coming up now? Why now? Because you think if you get sent to jail, you'll be failing us, like you think you failed your father.
You think you need to protect us, like you thought you needed to protect your father.
And that's why you haven't been coming around much the past few weeks-- guilt.
Cabe, you did not fail your father, and you're not failing us.
You've taken care of us for a long time.
Now it's time to let us take care of you.
(sighs) Hey.
How'd it go? It was good.
I'm better.
HAPPY: Well, you helped cook this slop, so your work is done here, old man.
I'll make sure, uh, you get a drumstick.
How about we take a load off? Okay.
Hey.
How is he? It was a rough therapy session, but he'll be all right.
He just needs us.
Oh, hey, uh, while I have a moment Say the word âWalenaâ-- and it's a word, not a name-- you get yams down your pants.
Hey, I just wanted to apologize for harping on about the name of your future offspring.
Okay.
It's just, I, uh, I don't know if I'll ever have children.
It's not something that I thought about.
You know, until Ralph came around, and then I, you know, I thought I might not be such a terrible parent.
Which is not something that's been discussed with Paige.
It's not really appropriate yet.
But you and Toby, I hired you.
You wouldn't know each other if it wasn't for me.
So if you had a child, it would just be something that I I'd take a lot of pride in.
Fine.
You've touched my heart.
âWalterâ is on the list.
Just don't tell Toby.
Ralph, can you help her to her seat? Carefully.
There she is, the chemist of the hour.
How you feeling, Flo? Um, it's Florence.
Uh, I-I feel tired.
But I'm glad to be alive, due to your efforts.
I've said unkind things to you.
They were not deserved.
So I will endeavor to be a better neighbor.
What is What's this? New flasks, to replace the ones I broke.
Thank you.
You're not the problem urchin I thought you were.
WALTER: So, while I'm glad that she's okay, I'm still not sure about her.
Well, I'm gonna give her a chance, and I think you should, too.
HAPPY: All right, everybody ready to shove food in our gullets or what? TOBY: No, no, not yet.
Tradition dictates that Dad sits at the head of the table.
And, from what I've gleaned from Norman Rockwell paintings he carves.
I've realized recently that I've been messing a bit with my memories.
Been rewriting 'em over the years.
I'm not gonna do that anymore.
And it's okay, 'cause I got a great girl and I've got great friends.
No matter what the future holds for me, I want to remember this moment right now exactly as it is.
'Cause to have you all in my life, I am truly thankful.
ALL: Hear, hear!