Top Gear (US) s04e09 Episode Script
Big Bad Trucks
Now on "Top Gear" We put three new luxury pickups to the test Ooh, is this like doing crossfit? to find out which is the best in the country.
Wow! Look at that! The pickup an American icon.
They used to be simple work horses, but these days, they are sophisticated, luxurious, and often used as daily drivers.
But can a vehicle designed to haul heavy loads be that versatile? To find out, we each chose our favorite luxury pickup and met just outside of Los Angeles in the San Gabriel mountains.
Yes! I am four-wheeling in air-conditioned comfort.
You know what the difference in pickups today are? My grandpa would have never done this with a truck.
Oh, here's a water splash.
I love beating on other people's cars.
Oh, that's fun, isn't it? That was a good, good time.
So, American trucks dominate the world of trucking for a reason.
But you brought a Toyota, anyway.
Oh, you mean this? I'd chosen a top-of-the-line 2014 Toyota Tundra Crewmax 1794.
Designed in Texas, built by texans, who are, by God, American.
Made by Toyota.
Maybe you guys don't know how awesome this truck is.
Let me show you.
First off, because this is a real truck, a working man's truck, it does have the biggest backseat here.
Check out the floor mats.
It basically has a brush to clean off your boots.
Wait a minute.
Okay, here's the thing.
Look at this.
Wipe your feet.
I'm not tall, per se.
At least a half inch above the national average anyway.
In lilliput.
However, even I'm like a I mean, if I wanted to really stre Well, it leans back quite a bit.
Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Get out.
You're gonna fall in love if you stay in there too long.
Whatever.
It might have a big back seat, but it's no icon.
BeholdA real truck.
I'd chosen the F-150 Supercrew King Ranch Edition.
The F-150 isn't just the best-selling truck in the country.
Some years, it's the best-selling vehicle in the country.
Let me ask you something.
When it grows up, will it have an eight cylinder? This is the future of the truck The ecoboost twin turbo v6.
I wasn't sold in the beginning.
So, a six-cylinder turbo.
Wouldn't that make this the Queen Ranch? Like it.
420-foot pounds of torque.
That's all I'm saying.
Now, let's say you did buy the King Ranch edition, which is one of 10 trim levels you can get in the F-150, you might be old.
You might have already owned the Ranch for a little while.
But you still need to get something out of the bed of your truck.
Mm-hmm.
The solution Stop it.
Oh, this is great.
See the motion? See the motion? It's hand, hold, step.
Hand, hold, step.
Real easy.
Okay.
Now fold it up along with your dignity.
And not that heavy.
Do you have one of those tubs that opens up so you can get in, close it, and then fill it up? Let me show you a truck for people that are under 100 years old.
I'd chosen the Ram 1500 sport cab 4x4.
2013's north American truck of the year.
Yeah, but look at that.
What's the ma that's perfect.
That's a built-in tool box.
Actually, it's called the "Ram box.
" Look at that.
You can hardly fit anything in here.
Maybe some, like, pencils, and a bag of rubber bands.
Look! If you take the blade off a sawzall, you could probably The problem is, when you add this thing on the side, now you got a skinny box.
Yeah, it's, like, a little short bed Little short box in here now.
This is the boss's truck.
The boss shows up in this.
He orders the guys in the Ford and the Toyota to bring the drywall to the job.
He doesn't carry it himself.
I noticed the boss can't even a shift lever anymore to dial.
That's cool.
It's the same transmission in a Rolls-Royce.
Smooth.
What are we doing? Our competition to find America's most versatile truck would take us on a journey across Southern California.
Our first challenge was at a racetrack 20 miles away.
On-road or off-road? Well, it's best all-around, so I guess a little of both.
But the difference between going on-road and off-road is on-road, you can get a ticket.
You're wanting to race, aren't you? Well, I think at least to the pavement.
So is the pavement that way? Wait, there it is.
Of course! Nice.
Sneaky.
Cheating already.
Oh, listen to that.
Hey, watch this launch, Rut.
Oh, good.
Nice shower.
The nearest pavement was five miles away down the valley.
Oh, yes.
It was time for the Tundra to shine.
Aw! 381 horsepower.
400-pound feet of torque.
I bet Tanner's wishing he had v8 right now.
I will reach that pavement first.
See ya! Where are those idiots going? They're going the wrong way.
Here I come! Ooh! It's no raptor that's for sure, but it can still do this.
That was a little aggressive.
While Tanner was playing in the puddles, I was cruising towards victory.
This is a $50,000 tonka truck.
Oh, I got this in the bag.
I think I played around in the puddles a little bit too long.
Time to push.
Which way to the road? Go, go, go! I see no one.
Victory is Rutledge.
Well, that's annoying.
Wow! Count it.
Pretty impressive how these things handle that, though, huh? Yeah, I mean, these are bone stock, and we just whooped up on them.
That was great.
If they can survive Adam's abuse, then I'm impressed.
Yeah, where is Adam? I don't see him, and I didn't see anything on fire.
Should we wait for him? Well, what would Adam do? That's a good point.
Follow me.
With Adam lost somewhere in the mountains, we continued on our way to our first challenge 20 miles away in the city of industry.
It's interesting.
When you look at the Tundra compared to the other big pickups, a lot of the other manufacturers keep throwing different things at the wall to try to see what sticks like the ecoboost, like an eight-speed transmission in the Ram, but Toyota knows that people just want v8 power and reliability.
And, yeah, this thing is super-nice inside.
It's like a luxury car.
If you look in Tanner's truck right now, it looks like they took an old purse that my mom had and they put it all over the seats.
Which fits in nicely with its girly, little engine.
These guys give me a lot of grief about the turbo-charged six cylinder, but the fact is, the ecoboost v6 has been a huge hit for Ford.
It'll click off more than 20 miles per gallon, which is double that of some of the other trucks in the class.
They sell an F-series Ford pickup every 60 seconds in this country.
They're good trucks, but, for me, I wanted better than "good.
" I wanted something fun.
I wanted something different.
And it doesn't look every other F-150 on the road.
We arrived at our first challenge, and there was still no sign of Adam.
But that wasn't the only thing that seemed strange.
Go-kart track.
This is not what I was expecting with a raceway.
This is tiny.
Look how small this is.
You can barely fit a truck through here.
Adam's not here, which means I officially won, so far.
This is ab What the hell did you do? - What happened to your arm? - Okay.
Remember when we came out of the stream, you guys made a left, I made a right, and there was a slightcliff.
A cliff? For the record, the Ram is fine.
Um, uh, something doesn't add up there.
I'll tell you what.
Lesser men would crumble.
So, what are we doing here? Despite us being unconvinced by Adam's story, the challenges had to go on.
So to find out which of our pickups had the ability to perform like a car, we each had to get around the go-kart track as quickly as possible.
- I'll go first.
- Do it.
- Go ahead.
Watch this.
I can't watch that too long.
Here's the thing It's (Bleep) Brown.
- Everybody knows you don't race a brown car.
- Oh, okay.
It's a standard that you don't leave - on a boat journey on Fridays - Right.
And you don't race a brown car.
And you never have Sushi on a Monday morning.
That's for sure because there's no delivery on Sunday.
- There you go.
Very good.
- Yeah.
A $50,000 Tundra on a go-kart track.
What could go wrong? Rut, you ready? I was born ready for this.
Are you kidding? 5, 4, 3, 2, 1Go! Yeah! Nice, smokey burnout.
Oh, boy, this track is tight.
Look at his arms swinging around in there.
Ooh! Ooh, is this like doing crossfit? Oh, yeah.
Oh.
That is tight.
He is hustling that wheel.
Oh! Too much.
Wheel wide, back in tight.
Oh, God.
Look at that.
- That's it.
Step back.
- Okay, there we go.
Whoo.
Whoo.
- He's sweating in there.
- Holy cow.
That was awesome! - That was very intense.
Look at you.
- Oh, my God.
I feel like right now my pecs are huge because that was just Like a tyrannosaurus Rex beating the drums? Whoo.
How'd I do? 57 of the most intense seconds ever.
The course is so tight and so compact that the moment you're like, "okay, I got Oh, hell, now I've got to go this way.
" It's just so fast.
Next up was tiny dancer in the Queen Ranch.
Was your brace on the other arm before? No.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Okay, I am going to attempt to spin the tires around this entire track, which means I have the advance track off.
I'm going to lock the rear differentials so that they both spin at the same time.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1Go! He's already going.
He leapt it.
Oh, the drifting thing's not working.
Computer just cut me off.
Okay, time to hustle.
It really just cuts the power as soon as it senses that you're braking and steering that the same time.
We'll just shortcut this part of it.
That's fine.
- Nobody's gonna notice that.
- Oh.
Oh! He missed it totally.
It'll be a little shortcut here.
There's got to be a penalty for that.
What a cheater.
And across the line.
Ahh.
Huh? You tried to link the whole thing, didn't you? It wouldn't let them keep spinning.
It's the just the electronics are uphold.
I don't know.
Maybe it's because trucks are so tall, the steering rack is slow, so you're swatting bees in there.
Just feel like you're Like there's a freakin' nest got loose and you're like, "gah!" What about your off-road expedition you took? Twice.
- Yeah.
- You ripped up the grass.
- Where? There.
There.
There.
There.
Oh, you saw that? You curious about your time at all? - What was my time? - I present you with cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater, 54 flat.
Not bad.
Right? Well, we both rocked it.
How are you gonna do this with one arm.
Because I was using my arms the whole time.
Oh, my gosh.
It is a crazy workout.
Well, I got a guy.
Whose truck it that 'cause that is not the same truck? Yeah.
That's my truck.
That's not the same truck.
That truck is black now.
It's just the way the light hits the paint.
And how did you get the stig to drive? The stig is part of the family.
We're allowed to use him.
Wait a minute.
He's on the team.
He's like the designated hitter.
I can bring him in.
I'm gonna go talk to my driver.
Chat amongst yourselves.
Okay, this feels wrong, though, for the record.
I think he's faking.
I think he's faking.
Look at that.
Stig, I want to thank you for doing this for me.
Okay, good talk.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1Go! Coming up, we find out just how family-friendly our trucks are Well, I don't know where the gas is! And tackle a major hauling job.
Good lord! That's what we had to tow?! We were in Southern California, competing to see which of our high-end pickups was the most versatile.
So far, Rut had won the off-road race- Wow! But the maneuverability challenge proved more difficult for his Tundra, and he had taken 57 seconds to get around the go-kart track.
Tanner had cheated and got a time of 54, and now the stig was stepping in for me in the Ram.
3, 2, 1Go! Oh, now, you notice, he left on "go," whereas you left on "3.
" Yes, you also left earlier.
You know what? Add two seconds onto yours.
Look at that.
Aw, he makes big girl dance.
My driver.
What was his time? 53.
9.
What?! 53.
9.
That's only a tenth of a second faster.
That can just be human error.
You just, like Like a twitch.
Was it human error when you left early or when you jumped both of those curbs? - No, that was human cheating.
- I barely cut the corner.
If you're gonna cheat, at least have someone else drive and cheat the way Adam did.
Are you gonna drive or are you gonna have him drive the whole time? He's driving the whole time, baby.
- That should be riveting conversation in there.
- Good luck.
Yeah.
I didn't think of that.
Yeah.
Don't let him pick the music.
We're gonna listen to Def Leppard.
That's a one-arm joke 'cause the drummer only has one arm.
Ohh! With my Ram victorious, we headed to our next challenge in Long Beach, California.
I'm really starting to think Adam might not be hurt.
I think maybe this was all just a plan to have stig drive, and at least give him a shot at winning in that truck because it's not the best truck here.
This is.
Let's say you had a third-degree shoulder separation and you needed to ride for work.
First thing you need is a driver.
Check.
Then you need a smooth ride.
Check.
This is great.
A nice, smooth ride.
I'm sitting up high.
I can see everything.
Have my seat cooler on.
As I speak you you, my butt is the perfect temperature.
This truck it basically a Chrysler 300 with a bed, so it's luxury and gangster, which is pretty cool.
Right, stig? He seems to like it.
The Ram, to me, it's sort of like the corvette of trucks.
You know, it's not gonna be used for what it was meant to be used for.
The owner probably has a gold chain.
Okay, first of all, that Tundra, it's like metallic poo.
You're like a flashy U.
P.
S.
truck.
This thing is metallic chocolate.
It's awesome.
I painted a car this color once.
Once.
We'd arrived at our next challenge A seven-story parking garage.
- Are you sure that hasn't switched arms? - No.
What are we doing here? I'm glad you asked.
What else you keeping in there? Gentlemen, pay attention.
"The best vehicles are easy to use "so the whole family can drive them.
"To test which of your trucks is the most family-friendly, "you will now compete in a parking challenge with a typical family onboard.
" Oh, my gosh.
We each start at the same time and compete for parking spots between two cars.
Once parked, we change drivers.
After each person had driven once, we'd race back to the finish line on the roof.
It's very roomy.
It's a Crewmax.
That's why it's so big back there.
- You'll drive first after me.
- Okay.
So, once we pull into the parking spot, that's when we do the change.
All right? Do you know where the parking spots are? - I don't.
Down there.
- Okay.
John, have you ever driven a pickup before? 50 years ago.
Really? A little bit different.
A little bit easier.
- I think you're really gonna like this.
- Oh, yeah.
It's like my dad told me when I learned how to drive.
He said, "son, don't hit anything.
" And that's our team motto today.
- GentlemenAnd ladies - Yes? The Tundra is ready.
The Ram is ready.
The Queen Ranch ready? The King Ranch is ready.
In 3, 2, 1Go! Rut is blocking the road already.
Get out of the way, Rut.
Go get 'em, stig! Whoo! Ohh.
Oh, he hit it! There goes that.
Whoo! Go get 'em, stig.
Fire drill! I had gotten out of the gate fast and managed to nab the closest parking spot, and we were first to change drivers.
So it was a race between Tanner and the stig to grab the other top-floor space.
- Get 'em, stig.
- Whoo! There you go! Go! We're gonna give the stig this one.
The stig beat me to it, so I was forced to head to the parking spaces on the lower level.
Oh, my God.
All right, buckle up.
- Right there! - Is that a parking spot? I had finally made it to my first parking spot.
And change drivers.
Change drivers! That's it, John.
Get in.
Get in.
I had chosen to have my 80-year-old drive next, and his problems weren't just getting into the truck.
I got to go to the bathroom.
Can you hold it? Let's hang a left here.
Rut's middle-aged driver had taken the wheel, and he was struggling to adjust to the size of the Tundra Go maybe just a hair wider on these concrete columns.
This cool chocolate-brown paint won't look quite as good.
While mine was loving the Ford's power steering.
Okay.
Turn the wheel, and now go forward.
Okay.
And go straight ahead.
And go through there.
Right through that gap.
Okay.
Go, go, go, go, go, go! All right.
Whoa.
There you go.
Easy, big daddy.
There's two cars.
Park between those two over there.
- We're gonna right into here.
- Tell him to slow down! Okay.
All right.
All righty.
- No, no! Not between cars! - Yes.
We're supposed to park between cars.
You're doing great, John.
You start that way.
I'll catch up with you.
With my second driver at the wheel, I was in the lead.
So what would a teenager make of the F-150? Okay, can you slow it down now? Rut's Tundra was proving more of a challenge to his second driver.
Can you see over the steering wheel? Can you see over? I need It's, uh You stay there.
Hold on one second.
Oh, this Head that way.
Okay, under the stairs.
That's good.
It'll fit.
What the hell? It'll fit.
There you go.
And stop.
Very smooth.
All right.
You okay? Two down.
One to go.
Now I had to get my senior citizen in the driver's seat.
Where's my walker? The walker's in the It's over there somewhere.
- Here's your seatbelt.
- Okay.
The walker is toast.
Park between those two cars right there.
We were just behind Tanner's team.
- Ah-ha! But while his last driver was a senior, mine was a teenager, so it was looking good.
- And go! - Okay, go! Go, go, go! We're going to that parking spot right there.
No! Straighter! This way! Okay.
And now turn left.
Now turn left.
- Okay, go, go.
- Whoo! Slow it down.
Slow it down.
- You're making John nervous.
- Sorry.
Make a left.
Make a left! Keep your foot on the brake.
I'm gonna put it in reverse.
- Where' the brake? - Your foot's on it.
No I'm not.
I'm on the gas.
No, your foot's on the brake.
- This? - Yes.
That's the brake.
Oh, well, I don't know where the gas is! Okay, let's go.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, and I have to be in the front.
We made our final switch, and it was neck and neck between the Ram And my F-150.
We were in long beach, California, competing over who had chosen the best high-end pickup.
Rut and I had each won a challenge, and now we were seeing which of our trucks was the easiest to drive in a race around a parking garage.
We had passengers with us, and each one had to drive and park.
Rut's Tundra had proven to be a little too complicated for his senior.
Well, I don't know where the gas is! Tanner and I were charging towards the finish line.
- Go get 'em, stig! - Whoo! Oh, my God.
Whoo! Good job, stig.
We made it! Whoo! High fives right there! Yeah! No other trucks are here.
God! Holy (Bleep) Oh, no! I think I just had a baby.
If you feel the brake, the gas is gonna be just to the right of that.
No, to the left! It would not be to the left unless we were in a magical land.
So there's the brake, and then the gas is just I can't find it! With my F-150 proving itself to be the easiest truck to drive and the Tundra impossible to manage for anybody with a hip replacement, we headed off to our next challenge, 10 miles away on the other side of long beach.
How's your day going? Okay.
Now, Rut, let me ask you Is there such a thing as a luxury pickup that's actually used for work and then taking the wife out at night? Yes, I think it's called the midnight-blue King Ranch F-150 Ford! Which is why you're single.
You know, I really think now there are.
If you look at how pickup trucks have changed and how people use them so differently I mean, they're like the Swiss army knife of vehicles.
They can do it all.
Yeah, but let's be honest, it can do anything you want.
You're looking at 55 grand.
I do miss the age of trucks where it had just the vinyl bench seat and the rubber floor, and if it got dirty, you could just turn the hose on it.
I will admit I miss that.
We arrived at our next challenge and were met by Ourselves.
Oh, boy.
What?! I got a bad feeling about oh.
I am not that short.
Yes, you are.
Come on! Oh, and my head's not that big.
No, it's that big.
I have a live mole.
You mole has a mole.
It's a mole.
It's coming out of my face.
I mean, you really think this is Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Hold it.
It's making me really self con That's how I stand.
I'm getting caught in the gravitational pull of both your heads.
It wasn't your mole? I can see over his head completely.
Now you know how we feel.
What are we doing here? "Safety is a major factor in choosing a vehicle, "and it's the reason many people buy s.
U.
V.
S, "but can a truck be as safe as an s.
U.
V.
? "To find out, you'll now attempt to beat "the 0 to 60 to 0 distance of the jeep grand cherokee, which is in the top five safest s.
U.
V.
S on the road.
" Really? Wow.
We positioned out cut-outs at the 0 to 60 to 0 stopping distance of the jeep cherokee.
If we failed to stop in time, we'd run ourselves over.
Whoever stopped farthest from their cut-out would win.
Grand cherokees are pretty quick.
And they're light.
Lighter than this.
Well, relatively, yeah.
Since I know that the Tundra's gonna win and I'm gonna protect this handsome fella, who's going first and losing? All right, Tanner will go first.
Okay.
That's fine.
Say goodbye to mini me and get in your truck.
Aren't you gonna go? Come on, you're holding us up.
Will you just go? Oh, my I literally thought that was you for a second.
Well, what do you think? If this is the distance that grand cherokee set yeah.
I don't think he's got a chance.
Okay.
6,000 pounds of raw fury here does go 0 to 60 in 6.
6 seconds.
However, going 60 to 0 with three tons will be the problem.
So, what happened to your arm? - Saving orphans from a burning building.
- Mm.
All right, tiniest man alive, you ready? I'm ready.
All right, let it rip.
There's 30.
There's 40.
Come on.
There's 50.
And60.
- Barely! - Come on! You are a lucky man.
It's alive.
- That's ridiculous.
- Unbelievable.
Look at it.
It looks like a little hood ornament.
This much room to spare.
That means it's this much safer than the safest S.
U.
V.
.
You think the Ram's faster than this? - No.
- Me, either.
You know what that means.
"Mole" it over.
Mull it over, and them maybe you should go next.
Okay, I will go next.
I'll just talk to my driver.
After another one-way conversation with the stig, it was my turn to sweat over the well being of cardboard meFrom a safe distance, of course.
- You're not even gonna be in the car for this? - No.
You gonna give your driver some tips? I don't have to give him tips.
I told him, "0 to 60, hit the brakes, that's all.
Just don't kill me.
" Let it rip! Brake! Brake! Brake! Ohh! We were on a road trip through Southern California, competing over which was America's most versatile high-end pickup.
Aw, yes! So far, we'd each won a challenge High fives right there! Yeah! And now we were finding out which of our trucks was the safest in an acceleration and braking test.
Tanner had just managed to avoid himself.
And now it was Adam's Ram's turn courtesy of the stig.
Let it rip! Brake! Brake! Brake! Ohh! I'm so dead.
Oh, that was awesome! Ohh! What are we, 30 yards away from the flags must be? I don't care about that.
I feel so bad for me.
What? You should feel bad that you picked the Ram.
All that this proves is the Ram's unsafe.
The Ra Well, it's less safe than an S.
U.
V.
, anyway.
Fine.
It didn't do well in this test, and it it killed me.
With the stig driving, there was no chance that the Ram's failure to stop was driver error.
Now it was time for the Tundra.
Win this and I take the overall lead.
This thing does 0 to 60 in 6.
2 seconds.
And it weighs 5,800 pounds.
I can get to that speed, but can I slow it down from there? Then the question becomes, "how good are the brakes?" You ready, big daddy? The Tundra was born ready.
All right, Rut.
Hit yourself.
Never.
Here we go.
All right, taking off.
First gear.
40, 50, 55, 60! Whoa! Yeah! That's amazing! Did you see that? Yeah, we were standing right here.
Think I got a calf cramp I was pushing so hard.
Okay, we got a couple feet maybe.
Oh, I totally got that! I win! I win! By six inches, though.
It doesn't matter if you win by and inch or a mile, winning is winning.
Yeah, get him! As we headed to our next challenge at Ontario airport, we had time to reminisce about pickup-truck days gone by.
Now, when I grew up, mini trucks were a little bit of all the rage in Napa, California.
Yeah, the big thing to do, like, the kids from Jersey would drive over with Toyotas, and the Tailgate, they would just take out all the letter so it just said, "yo.
" Dude, that was big in Alabama, too.
I remember the lifted toyotas, and they would just say, "toy" on them.
You know why they called it the "Chevy luv," right? L-u-v Light utility vehicle.
No, really? Half an hour later, we arrived at the airport, and we were told to head for gate 42.
Oh, this is cool.
We are about to drive behind the gates at the airport.
I cannot tell you how cool this is.
It feels so illegal.
I'm waiting to get blown over by the jet blast of an air There's a sign that even says, "jet blast.
" That is cool.
I need that in my garage.
Every time I'm in a plane and I see those cars driving around down there, I always think, "I bet that is awesome.
" And here I am doing it.
Our final challenge would test which one of our luxury pickups had managed to maintain its ability to be a tough, working, utility vehicle.
We'd compete in an obstacle course while towing a heavy load, which would be arriving from San Francisco at 5:48 P.
M.
Foust:- What time is it now? - 5:20.
We got 28 minutes.
- I hate being at the airport early.
- I know.
With a little time to kill and unprecedented access to the tarmac, we did what any guys would do.
I want the tug! I want the tug! I got the tug! I call the belt thing.
Stig, the stairs! I'm moving.
Yeah! This is awesome! I feel like a centipede! Who's the psycho with the stairs? It's a little top heavy, stig.
I think it's gonna tip over! This thing can tip over.
Ooh! What are you doing? Let's load some bags.
Let's load some bags.
Now that we had a feel for our equipment, it was time to get to work.
I feel like we're getting a good feel for what airport life is like.
Look at me.
I work for the airlines.
Aw, sorry.
All right, I got to get to the plane, gents.
Okay.
Hey, man, hold on! Wait! Whoo-ho-hoo! Hit the red one.
Oh! We got a hanger! It's like a wrecking ball! Yeah! Oh, it's deadly.
Luckily, before security could get to us, it was time for our final challenge.
What time is it? It's 5:48.
That's the time, right? 5:48 was the time.
So what's this thing we got to tow? Good lord! Really? That's a real plane! That's what we have to tow? While an airport tug is engineered to pull these 128,000-pound monsters, the most our pickups were ready to pull was about 11,000 pounds.
Well, you know what, I mean, I do have the only truck here - -that's ever towed anything this big.
- Don't - You know it.
- Yeah.
It towed the space shuttle.
- It was a commercial! - Oh, was it? The Tundra towed the Space Shuttle Endeavour, so you know what? I'll go first.
Good.
Go first.
Do it.
We'd have to tow this massive 727 around a quarter mile circuit without hitting the airport vehicle obstacles positioned on the course.
That is, if our trucks could even move this behemoth.
A couple things could go wrong here.
Number one I could burn up the transmission just trying to get it to move because it's possible that's entirely too much weight.
Or I could get it rolling, I go to turn, and maybe I can't make the turn.
Then what happens? Well, I've got 128,000 pounds pushing me some direction.
Talk about the tail wagging the dog.
I'm a little nervous.
What did happen to your arm, anyway? I flipped over upside down in an empty dunk tank.
You know, you could just tell me what it was.
I'm not gonna judge you because you, you know, hurt yourself.
It happens to people.
It happens to me all the time.
Okay.
All right.
You ready, Rut? Dunk tank.
I'm ready.
Count me down.
Okay, here we go.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Pull it, big daddy.
Pull it.
We were in Southern California competing over which one of our luxury pickup trucks was the best in the country.
So far, Rut's Toyota Tundra had won two challenges While Adam's Ram and my F-150 had won one each.
But now we were testing what trucks were really made for hauling.
And for this one, we had to pull a 128,000-pound boeing 727 around an obstacle course.
Rut was up first.
Pull it, big daddy.
Pull it.
- It's moving.
- He's moving it! It's moving! Oh, my gosh.
It's working.
Come on.
He's moving a plane.
That's annoying.
I'm pulling an airplane with a truck.
I need to get up and cruise so it's not just killing the transmission.
Oh, wow.
Oh, this is crazy.
He's not going very fast, though.
You want to know how slow he's going I think the plane is gonna pass him.
You know what would happen if you tried to slow down and the plane just started turing the truck and Jack-knifed it, and then And then bean-canned it? I know what exactly what would happen.
I would laugh for a week and a half.
All right, now I'm in four low.
So my turning is gonna be real hard to do.
All right, he's making a turn.
He's making the turn! All right.
Ooh.
This is where it gets hairy.
Keep it up.
It's all about momentum here.
We're about to revolutionize the way airports do business.
God, what a weird-ass thing to be doing on a Tuesday.
The truck feels just as happy as could be.
We're cruising at 10 miles and hour.
- I'm impressed.
He hasn't run over any tug or- You know what? He's a pulling plane, and this is the fastest I've ever seen him drive.
Oh, Tundra.
Watch out for the tug.
- Wait, he's coming right at us.
- Yeah, this isn't good.
Which way's he gonna go? - What are you doing? - There it is.
- That's not funny.
- There it is! - Boom! - That's not funny! It worked! That was so awesome! Way to go, Tundra! You are awesome! Did you see that? That looked so much slower than it probably felt.
That was That was incred I felt like I was doing 100 miles an hour.
There was so much going on.
- I thought I was gonna clip one of the tugs for sure.
- Yeah.
Two minutes, 26 seconds.
Don't know if that's fast or not.
I'm sorry, your flight's been delayed.
Try and beat that.
I certainly will.
Pay attention.
You know what? I think I could have done it in four high.
That was four low.
That's a good tip.
Thank you.
What I meant was I meant you should definitely do it in four low.
Now it was Ram time.
Okay, Adam, you ready? I'm ready.
I don't even see him in there.
Where are you? I'm ready.
What? What are you doing up there? Look, the doctor said I couldn't drive the truck.
He didn't say anything about driving a plane.
Whatever.
All right! Sounds good! All right, stig, here we go.
In 3, 2, 1Don't beat me.
Go, stiggy, go! Look at that.
It's having trouble.
What are we doing about the wing, man? What do I do about the wing?! Noooo! Aah! We're fine.
That is terrifying.
That is amazing, isn't it? Wow.
It is so big.
Oh, look how fast the stig is going! I think we're lifting off the ground.
Listen to the engine.
He's maxed out.
Oh, he just shifted.
Oh.
Oh, that was good, stig.
Whoa.
He turned pretty sharp.
He looks really close to the tug.
He's turning in already.
Wow.
Ooh.
Ooh, is that gonna Oooh.
There we go, stig.
And it's coming back.
There you go, stig! Let the Ram run, baby! Oh, easy! Oh, my gosh.
Which way is he going? No, he's gonna thread the needle.
Dude, listen to it.
Do you hear how high the rpms are? Go, stig! Boom! Oh, this is awesome! I touched it.
Yes! - That was huge! - Come on, let's go.
Oh, there you are.
Do you remember what his time was? What was my time? I do not remember.
- It was a 2.
26.
- Yeah.
You did 2.
10.
Or stig or somebody did it in 2.
10.
Yes! I mean, it's not like you even did it.
- Yes, I did.
- You were just along for the ride.
No, I was steering from up here so we could cut the corners.
That's how we made up some time.
Well, you got to try and beat 2.
10 without cheating.
Okay, I'm ready to go.
Here.
You got the clock? I got it.
- I bet we couldn't do that twice.
- Just go.
Just go.
This engine the ecoboost actually puts out 420-foot pounds of torque at a pretty low rpm.
That's more than the Toyota's v8.
So I'm feeling pretty good about this.
But you know it's his lifelong dream to beat the stig.
Yes.
And he has yet to do it, so I can't see today being the day.
And they stig, you know, I mean, he's the best driver in the world, - but he is limited to his equipment.
- Correct.
So, and that Ram I mean, you know it - Hey.
- Hasn't been strong.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm also just gonna go faster than I probably should in order to beat the stig.
I think you would, too.
- All right, Tanner, you ready? - Yeah.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1Go! Surprise, he jumped the start.
Ooh.
You hear that turbo? There he goes.
Hear the turbo singing.
Going for a shift.
It's a pretty hard shift.
Oh, look how close he's getting to that tug.
- Oh, is he gonna hit it? - He's gonna hit it.
No.
No, he cleared it.
We're good on tug number one.
Building speed.
You know what? He is off to a fast start.
420-foot pounds of torque cranking away.
Going for another shift.
Ooh.
And we're gonna swing wide.
Oh, he's hitting the brakes.
What's he doing? If he doesn't get off the brakes, he's gonna get pushed sideways by that plane and he'll be toast.
And back on the gas.
Oh, look how tight he is going.
He is flying.
Oh, it's close to the tug.
Wow.
Look at that.
Uh-oh.
Make it around the last corner, gentlemen! Look out! All right.
I don't know how he's che Is there nitrous on there? We are hauling the mail! Yeah! Holy (Bleep) Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
Yes! Yes! Stop the clock! Stop the clock! Watch the wing! How fast is he going? Good lord! You're a complete moron.
You are a psycho.
It seemed pretty stable on the turn, actually.
What are you talking about? When you hit the brakes, we thought, "well, it was nice knowing him.
" What was my time? 1.
42.
Yes! Which, by the way, the interesting thing about this towing part, is it's really what these trucks are about, so this is probably the most relevant challenge we've had to do.
Are you just saying that because it's the only thing the Ford has done well? No, actually, 'cause I won the family thing.
You know, the driveability.
Okay, well, I won the handling, so mine handles the best.
That's true, but you might recall the Tundra was the best off-road, plus it was the safest.
Err! Okay, so mine was easy to drive for virtually anybody, even the Walker lady, and it is the most truckiness of the trucks, which is ultimately the reason you buy one of these things is to tow things.
For its truckiness? For its truckiness.
Do you want a ride home in the winning Tundra? I'd rather take the plane.
Come on, let's get out of here before we get arrested.
Adam and Rut could complain all they wanted, but it was clear to me, at least, why the F-150 remains the best-selling and most versatile truck in the nation.
Wow! Look at that! The pickup an American icon.
They used to be simple work horses, but these days, they are sophisticated, luxurious, and often used as daily drivers.
But can a vehicle designed to haul heavy loads be that versatile? To find out, we each chose our favorite luxury pickup and met just outside of Los Angeles in the San Gabriel mountains.
Yes! I am four-wheeling in air-conditioned comfort.
You know what the difference in pickups today are? My grandpa would have never done this with a truck.
Oh, here's a water splash.
I love beating on other people's cars.
Oh, that's fun, isn't it? That was a good, good time.
So, American trucks dominate the world of trucking for a reason.
But you brought a Toyota, anyway.
Oh, you mean this? I'd chosen a top-of-the-line 2014 Toyota Tundra Crewmax 1794.
Designed in Texas, built by texans, who are, by God, American.
Made by Toyota.
Maybe you guys don't know how awesome this truck is.
Let me show you.
First off, because this is a real truck, a working man's truck, it does have the biggest backseat here.
Check out the floor mats.
It basically has a brush to clean off your boots.
Wait a minute.
Okay, here's the thing.
Look at this.
Wipe your feet.
I'm not tall, per se.
At least a half inch above the national average anyway.
In lilliput.
However, even I'm like a I mean, if I wanted to really stre Well, it leans back quite a bit.
Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Get out.
You're gonna fall in love if you stay in there too long.
Whatever.
It might have a big back seat, but it's no icon.
BeholdA real truck.
I'd chosen the F-150 Supercrew King Ranch Edition.
The F-150 isn't just the best-selling truck in the country.
Some years, it's the best-selling vehicle in the country.
Let me ask you something.
When it grows up, will it have an eight cylinder? This is the future of the truck The ecoboost twin turbo v6.
I wasn't sold in the beginning.
So, a six-cylinder turbo.
Wouldn't that make this the Queen Ranch? Like it.
420-foot pounds of torque.
That's all I'm saying.
Now, let's say you did buy the King Ranch edition, which is one of 10 trim levels you can get in the F-150, you might be old.
You might have already owned the Ranch for a little while.
But you still need to get something out of the bed of your truck.
Mm-hmm.
The solution Stop it.
Oh, this is great.
See the motion? See the motion? It's hand, hold, step.
Hand, hold, step.
Real easy.
Okay.
Now fold it up along with your dignity.
And not that heavy.
Do you have one of those tubs that opens up so you can get in, close it, and then fill it up? Let me show you a truck for people that are under 100 years old.
I'd chosen the Ram 1500 sport cab 4x4.
2013's north American truck of the year.
Yeah, but look at that.
What's the ma that's perfect.
That's a built-in tool box.
Actually, it's called the "Ram box.
" Look at that.
You can hardly fit anything in here.
Maybe some, like, pencils, and a bag of rubber bands.
Look! If you take the blade off a sawzall, you could probably The problem is, when you add this thing on the side, now you got a skinny box.
Yeah, it's, like, a little short bed Little short box in here now.
This is the boss's truck.
The boss shows up in this.
He orders the guys in the Ford and the Toyota to bring the drywall to the job.
He doesn't carry it himself.
I noticed the boss can't even a shift lever anymore to dial.
That's cool.
It's the same transmission in a Rolls-Royce.
Smooth.
What are we doing? Our competition to find America's most versatile truck would take us on a journey across Southern California.
Our first challenge was at a racetrack 20 miles away.
On-road or off-road? Well, it's best all-around, so I guess a little of both.
But the difference between going on-road and off-road is on-road, you can get a ticket.
You're wanting to race, aren't you? Well, I think at least to the pavement.
So is the pavement that way? Wait, there it is.
Of course! Nice.
Sneaky.
Cheating already.
Oh, listen to that.
Hey, watch this launch, Rut.
Oh, good.
Nice shower.
The nearest pavement was five miles away down the valley.
Oh, yes.
It was time for the Tundra to shine.
Aw! 381 horsepower.
400-pound feet of torque.
I bet Tanner's wishing he had v8 right now.
I will reach that pavement first.
See ya! Where are those idiots going? They're going the wrong way.
Here I come! Ooh! It's no raptor that's for sure, but it can still do this.
That was a little aggressive.
While Tanner was playing in the puddles, I was cruising towards victory.
This is a $50,000 tonka truck.
Oh, I got this in the bag.
I think I played around in the puddles a little bit too long.
Time to push.
Which way to the road? Go, go, go! I see no one.
Victory is Rutledge.
Well, that's annoying.
Wow! Count it.
Pretty impressive how these things handle that, though, huh? Yeah, I mean, these are bone stock, and we just whooped up on them.
That was great.
If they can survive Adam's abuse, then I'm impressed.
Yeah, where is Adam? I don't see him, and I didn't see anything on fire.
Should we wait for him? Well, what would Adam do? That's a good point.
Follow me.
With Adam lost somewhere in the mountains, we continued on our way to our first challenge 20 miles away in the city of industry.
It's interesting.
When you look at the Tundra compared to the other big pickups, a lot of the other manufacturers keep throwing different things at the wall to try to see what sticks like the ecoboost, like an eight-speed transmission in the Ram, but Toyota knows that people just want v8 power and reliability.
And, yeah, this thing is super-nice inside.
It's like a luxury car.
If you look in Tanner's truck right now, it looks like they took an old purse that my mom had and they put it all over the seats.
Which fits in nicely with its girly, little engine.
These guys give me a lot of grief about the turbo-charged six cylinder, but the fact is, the ecoboost v6 has been a huge hit for Ford.
It'll click off more than 20 miles per gallon, which is double that of some of the other trucks in the class.
They sell an F-series Ford pickup every 60 seconds in this country.
They're good trucks, but, for me, I wanted better than "good.
" I wanted something fun.
I wanted something different.
And it doesn't look every other F-150 on the road.
We arrived at our first challenge, and there was still no sign of Adam.
But that wasn't the only thing that seemed strange.
Go-kart track.
This is not what I was expecting with a raceway.
This is tiny.
Look how small this is.
You can barely fit a truck through here.
Adam's not here, which means I officially won, so far.
This is ab What the hell did you do? - What happened to your arm? - Okay.
Remember when we came out of the stream, you guys made a left, I made a right, and there was a slightcliff.
A cliff? For the record, the Ram is fine.
Um, uh, something doesn't add up there.
I'll tell you what.
Lesser men would crumble.
So, what are we doing here? Despite us being unconvinced by Adam's story, the challenges had to go on.
So to find out which of our pickups had the ability to perform like a car, we each had to get around the go-kart track as quickly as possible.
- I'll go first.
- Do it.
- Go ahead.
Watch this.
I can't watch that too long.
Here's the thing It's (Bleep) Brown.
- Everybody knows you don't race a brown car.
- Oh, okay.
It's a standard that you don't leave - on a boat journey on Fridays - Right.
And you don't race a brown car.
And you never have Sushi on a Monday morning.
That's for sure because there's no delivery on Sunday.
- There you go.
Very good.
- Yeah.
A $50,000 Tundra on a go-kart track.
What could go wrong? Rut, you ready? I was born ready for this.
Are you kidding? 5, 4, 3, 2, 1Go! Yeah! Nice, smokey burnout.
Oh, boy, this track is tight.
Look at his arms swinging around in there.
Ooh! Ooh, is this like doing crossfit? Oh, yeah.
Oh.
That is tight.
He is hustling that wheel.
Oh! Too much.
Wheel wide, back in tight.
Oh, God.
Look at that.
- That's it.
Step back.
- Okay, there we go.
Whoo.
Whoo.
- He's sweating in there.
- Holy cow.
That was awesome! - That was very intense.
Look at you.
- Oh, my God.
I feel like right now my pecs are huge because that was just Like a tyrannosaurus Rex beating the drums? Whoo.
How'd I do? 57 of the most intense seconds ever.
The course is so tight and so compact that the moment you're like, "okay, I got Oh, hell, now I've got to go this way.
" It's just so fast.
Next up was tiny dancer in the Queen Ranch.
Was your brace on the other arm before? No.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Okay, I am going to attempt to spin the tires around this entire track, which means I have the advance track off.
I'm going to lock the rear differentials so that they both spin at the same time.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1Go! He's already going.
He leapt it.
Oh, the drifting thing's not working.
Computer just cut me off.
Okay, time to hustle.
It really just cuts the power as soon as it senses that you're braking and steering that the same time.
We'll just shortcut this part of it.
That's fine.
- Nobody's gonna notice that.
- Oh.
Oh! He missed it totally.
It'll be a little shortcut here.
There's got to be a penalty for that.
What a cheater.
And across the line.
Ahh.
Huh? You tried to link the whole thing, didn't you? It wouldn't let them keep spinning.
It's the just the electronics are uphold.
I don't know.
Maybe it's because trucks are so tall, the steering rack is slow, so you're swatting bees in there.
Just feel like you're Like there's a freakin' nest got loose and you're like, "gah!" What about your off-road expedition you took? Twice.
- Yeah.
- You ripped up the grass.
- Where? There.
There.
There.
There.
Oh, you saw that? You curious about your time at all? - What was my time? - I present you with cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater, 54 flat.
Not bad.
Right? Well, we both rocked it.
How are you gonna do this with one arm.
Because I was using my arms the whole time.
Oh, my gosh.
It is a crazy workout.
Well, I got a guy.
Whose truck it that 'cause that is not the same truck? Yeah.
That's my truck.
That's not the same truck.
That truck is black now.
It's just the way the light hits the paint.
And how did you get the stig to drive? The stig is part of the family.
We're allowed to use him.
Wait a minute.
He's on the team.
He's like the designated hitter.
I can bring him in.
I'm gonna go talk to my driver.
Chat amongst yourselves.
Okay, this feels wrong, though, for the record.
I think he's faking.
I think he's faking.
Look at that.
Stig, I want to thank you for doing this for me.
Okay, good talk.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1Go! Coming up, we find out just how family-friendly our trucks are Well, I don't know where the gas is! And tackle a major hauling job.
Good lord! That's what we had to tow?! We were in Southern California, competing to see which of our high-end pickups was the most versatile.
So far, Rut had won the off-road race- Wow! But the maneuverability challenge proved more difficult for his Tundra, and he had taken 57 seconds to get around the go-kart track.
Tanner had cheated and got a time of 54, and now the stig was stepping in for me in the Ram.
3, 2, 1Go! Oh, now, you notice, he left on "go," whereas you left on "3.
" Yes, you also left earlier.
You know what? Add two seconds onto yours.
Look at that.
Aw, he makes big girl dance.
My driver.
What was his time? 53.
9.
What?! 53.
9.
That's only a tenth of a second faster.
That can just be human error.
You just, like Like a twitch.
Was it human error when you left early or when you jumped both of those curbs? - No, that was human cheating.
- I barely cut the corner.
If you're gonna cheat, at least have someone else drive and cheat the way Adam did.
Are you gonna drive or are you gonna have him drive the whole time? He's driving the whole time, baby.
- That should be riveting conversation in there.
- Good luck.
Yeah.
I didn't think of that.
Yeah.
Don't let him pick the music.
We're gonna listen to Def Leppard.
That's a one-arm joke 'cause the drummer only has one arm.
Ohh! With my Ram victorious, we headed to our next challenge in Long Beach, California.
I'm really starting to think Adam might not be hurt.
I think maybe this was all just a plan to have stig drive, and at least give him a shot at winning in that truck because it's not the best truck here.
This is.
Let's say you had a third-degree shoulder separation and you needed to ride for work.
First thing you need is a driver.
Check.
Then you need a smooth ride.
Check.
This is great.
A nice, smooth ride.
I'm sitting up high.
I can see everything.
Have my seat cooler on.
As I speak you you, my butt is the perfect temperature.
This truck it basically a Chrysler 300 with a bed, so it's luxury and gangster, which is pretty cool.
Right, stig? He seems to like it.
The Ram, to me, it's sort of like the corvette of trucks.
You know, it's not gonna be used for what it was meant to be used for.
The owner probably has a gold chain.
Okay, first of all, that Tundra, it's like metallic poo.
You're like a flashy U.
P.
S.
truck.
This thing is metallic chocolate.
It's awesome.
I painted a car this color once.
Once.
We'd arrived at our next challenge A seven-story parking garage.
- Are you sure that hasn't switched arms? - No.
What are we doing here? I'm glad you asked.
What else you keeping in there? Gentlemen, pay attention.
"The best vehicles are easy to use "so the whole family can drive them.
"To test which of your trucks is the most family-friendly, "you will now compete in a parking challenge with a typical family onboard.
" Oh, my gosh.
We each start at the same time and compete for parking spots between two cars.
Once parked, we change drivers.
After each person had driven once, we'd race back to the finish line on the roof.
It's very roomy.
It's a Crewmax.
That's why it's so big back there.
- You'll drive first after me.
- Okay.
So, once we pull into the parking spot, that's when we do the change.
All right? Do you know where the parking spots are? - I don't.
Down there.
- Okay.
John, have you ever driven a pickup before? 50 years ago.
Really? A little bit different.
A little bit easier.
- I think you're really gonna like this.
- Oh, yeah.
It's like my dad told me when I learned how to drive.
He said, "son, don't hit anything.
" And that's our team motto today.
- GentlemenAnd ladies - Yes? The Tundra is ready.
The Ram is ready.
The Queen Ranch ready? The King Ranch is ready.
In 3, 2, 1Go! Rut is blocking the road already.
Get out of the way, Rut.
Go get 'em, stig! Whoo! Ohh.
Oh, he hit it! There goes that.
Whoo! Go get 'em, stig.
Fire drill! I had gotten out of the gate fast and managed to nab the closest parking spot, and we were first to change drivers.
So it was a race between Tanner and the stig to grab the other top-floor space.
- Get 'em, stig.
- Whoo! There you go! Go! We're gonna give the stig this one.
The stig beat me to it, so I was forced to head to the parking spaces on the lower level.
Oh, my God.
All right, buckle up.
- Right there! - Is that a parking spot? I had finally made it to my first parking spot.
And change drivers.
Change drivers! That's it, John.
Get in.
Get in.
I had chosen to have my 80-year-old drive next, and his problems weren't just getting into the truck.
I got to go to the bathroom.
Can you hold it? Let's hang a left here.
Rut's middle-aged driver had taken the wheel, and he was struggling to adjust to the size of the Tundra Go maybe just a hair wider on these concrete columns.
This cool chocolate-brown paint won't look quite as good.
While mine was loving the Ford's power steering.
Okay.
Turn the wheel, and now go forward.
Okay.
And go straight ahead.
And go through there.
Right through that gap.
Okay.
Go, go, go, go, go, go! All right.
Whoa.
There you go.
Easy, big daddy.
There's two cars.
Park between those two over there.
- We're gonna right into here.
- Tell him to slow down! Okay.
All right.
All righty.
- No, no! Not between cars! - Yes.
We're supposed to park between cars.
You're doing great, John.
You start that way.
I'll catch up with you.
With my second driver at the wheel, I was in the lead.
So what would a teenager make of the F-150? Okay, can you slow it down now? Rut's Tundra was proving more of a challenge to his second driver.
Can you see over the steering wheel? Can you see over? I need It's, uh You stay there.
Hold on one second.
Oh, this Head that way.
Okay, under the stairs.
That's good.
It'll fit.
What the hell? It'll fit.
There you go.
And stop.
Very smooth.
All right.
You okay? Two down.
One to go.
Now I had to get my senior citizen in the driver's seat.
Where's my walker? The walker's in the It's over there somewhere.
- Here's your seatbelt.
- Okay.
The walker is toast.
Park between those two cars right there.
We were just behind Tanner's team.
- Ah-ha! But while his last driver was a senior, mine was a teenager, so it was looking good.
- And go! - Okay, go! Go, go, go! We're going to that parking spot right there.
No! Straighter! This way! Okay.
And now turn left.
Now turn left.
- Okay, go, go.
- Whoo! Slow it down.
Slow it down.
- You're making John nervous.
- Sorry.
Make a left.
Make a left! Keep your foot on the brake.
I'm gonna put it in reverse.
- Where' the brake? - Your foot's on it.
No I'm not.
I'm on the gas.
No, your foot's on the brake.
- This? - Yes.
That's the brake.
Oh, well, I don't know where the gas is! Okay, let's go.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, and I have to be in the front.
We made our final switch, and it was neck and neck between the Ram And my F-150.
We were in long beach, California, competing over who had chosen the best high-end pickup.
Rut and I had each won a challenge, and now we were seeing which of our trucks was the easiest to drive in a race around a parking garage.
We had passengers with us, and each one had to drive and park.
Rut's Tundra had proven to be a little too complicated for his senior.
Well, I don't know where the gas is! Tanner and I were charging towards the finish line.
- Go get 'em, stig! - Whoo! Oh, my God.
Whoo! Good job, stig.
We made it! Whoo! High fives right there! Yeah! No other trucks are here.
God! Holy (Bleep) Oh, no! I think I just had a baby.
If you feel the brake, the gas is gonna be just to the right of that.
No, to the left! It would not be to the left unless we were in a magical land.
So there's the brake, and then the gas is just I can't find it! With my F-150 proving itself to be the easiest truck to drive and the Tundra impossible to manage for anybody with a hip replacement, we headed off to our next challenge, 10 miles away on the other side of long beach.
How's your day going? Okay.
Now, Rut, let me ask you Is there such a thing as a luxury pickup that's actually used for work and then taking the wife out at night? Yes, I think it's called the midnight-blue King Ranch F-150 Ford! Which is why you're single.
You know, I really think now there are.
If you look at how pickup trucks have changed and how people use them so differently I mean, they're like the Swiss army knife of vehicles.
They can do it all.
Yeah, but let's be honest, it can do anything you want.
You're looking at 55 grand.
I do miss the age of trucks where it had just the vinyl bench seat and the rubber floor, and if it got dirty, you could just turn the hose on it.
I will admit I miss that.
We arrived at our next challenge and were met by Ourselves.
Oh, boy.
What?! I got a bad feeling about oh.
I am not that short.
Yes, you are.
Come on! Oh, and my head's not that big.
No, it's that big.
I have a live mole.
You mole has a mole.
It's a mole.
It's coming out of my face.
I mean, you really think this is Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Hold it.
It's making me really self con That's how I stand.
I'm getting caught in the gravitational pull of both your heads.
It wasn't your mole? I can see over his head completely.
Now you know how we feel.
What are we doing here? "Safety is a major factor in choosing a vehicle, "and it's the reason many people buy s.
U.
V.
S, "but can a truck be as safe as an s.
U.
V.
? "To find out, you'll now attempt to beat "the 0 to 60 to 0 distance of the jeep grand cherokee, which is in the top five safest s.
U.
V.
S on the road.
" Really? Wow.
We positioned out cut-outs at the 0 to 60 to 0 stopping distance of the jeep cherokee.
If we failed to stop in time, we'd run ourselves over.
Whoever stopped farthest from their cut-out would win.
Grand cherokees are pretty quick.
And they're light.
Lighter than this.
Well, relatively, yeah.
Since I know that the Tundra's gonna win and I'm gonna protect this handsome fella, who's going first and losing? All right, Tanner will go first.
Okay.
That's fine.
Say goodbye to mini me and get in your truck.
Aren't you gonna go? Come on, you're holding us up.
Will you just go? Oh, my I literally thought that was you for a second.
Well, what do you think? If this is the distance that grand cherokee set yeah.
I don't think he's got a chance.
Okay.
6,000 pounds of raw fury here does go 0 to 60 in 6.
6 seconds.
However, going 60 to 0 with three tons will be the problem.
So, what happened to your arm? - Saving orphans from a burning building.
- Mm.
All right, tiniest man alive, you ready? I'm ready.
All right, let it rip.
There's 30.
There's 40.
Come on.
There's 50.
And60.
- Barely! - Come on! You are a lucky man.
It's alive.
- That's ridiculous.
- Unbelievable.
Look at it.
It looks like a little hood ornament.
This much room to spare.
That means it's this much safer than the safest S.
U.
V.
.
You think the Ram's faster than this? - No.
- Me, either.
You know what that means.
"Mole" it over.
Mull it over, and them maybe you should go next.
Okay, I will go next.
I'll just talk to my driver.
After another one-way conversation with the stig, it was my turn to sweat over the well being of cardboard meFrom a safe distance, of course.
- You're not even gonna be in the car for this? - No.
You gonna give your driver some tips? I don't have to give him tips.
I told him, "0 to 60, hit the brakes, that's all.
Just don't kill me.
" Let it rip! Brake! Brake! Brake! Ohh! We were on a road trip through Southern California, competing over which was America's most versatile high-end pickup.
Aw, yes! So far, we'd each won a challenge High fives right there! Yeah! And now we were finding out which of our trucks was the safest in an acceleration and braking test.
Tanner had just managed to avoid himself.
And now it was Adam's Ram's turn courtesy of the stig.
Let it rip! Brake! Brake! Brake! Ohh! I'm so dead.
Oh, that was awesome! Ohh! What are we, 30 yards away from the flags must be? I don't care about that.
I feel so bad for me.
What? You should feel bad that you picked the Ram.
All that this proves is the Ram's unsafe.
The Ra Well, it's less safe than an S.
U.
V.
, anyway.
Fine.
It didn't do well in this test, and it it killed me.
With the stig driving, there was no chance that the Ram's failure to stop was driver error.
Now it was time for the Tundra.
Win this and I take the overall lead.
This thing does 0 to 60 in 6.
2 seconds.
And it weighs 5,800 pounds.
I can get to that speed, but can I slow it down from there? Then the question becomes, "how good are the brakes?" You ready, big daddy? The Tundra was born ready.
All right, Rut.
Hit yourself.
Never.
Here we go.
All right, taking off.
First gear.
40, 50, 55, 60! Whoa! Yeah! That's amazing! Did you see that? Yeah, we were standing right here.
Think I got a calf cramp I was pushing so hard.
Okay, we got a couple feet maybe.
Oh, I totally got that! I win! I win! By six inches, though.
It doesn't matter if you win by and inch or a mile, winning is winning.
Yeah, get him! As we headed to our next challenge at Ontario airport, we had time to reminisce about pickup-truck days gone by.
Now, when I grew up, mini trucks were a little bit of all the rage in Napa, California.
Yeah, the big thing to do, like, the kids from Jersey would drive over with Toyotas, and the Tailgate, they would just take out all the letter so it just said, "yo.
" Dude, that was big in Alabama, too.
I remember the lifted toyotas, and they would just say, "toy" on them.
You know why they called it the "Chevy luv," right? L-u-v Light utility vehicle.
No, really? Half an hour later, we arrived at the airport, and we were told to head for gate 42.
Oh, this is cool.
We are about to drive behind the gates at the airport.
I cannot tell you how cool this is.
It feels so illegal.
I'm waiting to get blown over by the jet blast of an air There's a sign that even says, "jet blast.
" That is cool.
I need that in my garage.
Every time I'm in a plane and I see those cars driving around down there, I always think, "I bet that is awesome.
" And here I am doing it.
Our final challenge would test which one of our luxury pickups had managed to maintain its ability to be a tough, working, utility vehicle.
We'd compete in an obstacle course while towing a heavy load, which would be arriving from San Francisco at 5:48 P.
M.
Foust:- What time is it now? - 5:20.
We got 28 minutes.
- I hate being at the airport early.
- I know.
With a little time to kill and unprecedented access to the tarmac, we did what any guys would do.
I want the tug! I want the tug! I got the tug! I call the belt thing.
Stig, the stairs! I'm moving.
Yeah! This is awesome! I feel like a centipede! Who's the psycho with the stairs? It's a little top heavy, stig.
I think it's gonna tip over! This thing can tip over.
Ooh! What are you doing? Let's load some bags.
Let's load some bags.
Now that we had a feel for our equipment, it was time to get to work.
I feel like we're getting a good feel for what airport life is like.
Look at me.
I work for the airlines.
Aw, sorry.
All right, I got to get to the plane, gents.
Okay.
Hey, man, hold on! Wait! Whoo-ho-hoo! Hit the red one.
Oh! We got a hanger! It's like a wrecking ball! Yeah! Oh, it's deadly.
Luckily, before security could get to us, it was time for our final challenge.
What time is it? It's 5:48.
That's the time, right? 5:48 was the time.
So what's this thing we got to tow? Good lord! Really? That's a real plane! That's what we have to tow? While an airport tug is engineered to pull these 128,000-pound monsters, the most our pickups were ready to pull was about 11,000 pounds.
Well, you know what, I mean, I do have the only truck here - -that's ever towed anything this big.
- Don't - You know it.
- Yeah.
It towed the space shuttle.
- It was a commercial! - Oh, was it? The Tundra towed the Space Shuttle Endeavour, so you know what? I'll go first.
Good.
Go first.
Do it.
We'd have to tow this massive 727 around a quarter mile circuit without hitting the airport vehicle obstacles positioned on the course.
That is, if our trucks could even move this behemoth.
A couple things could go wrong here.
Number one I could burn up the transmission just trying to get it to move because it's possible that's entirely too much weight.
Or I could get it rolling, I go to turn, and maybe I can't make the turn.
Then what happens? Well, I've got 128,000 pounds pushing me some direction.
Talk about the tail wagging the dog.
I'm a little nervous.
What did happen to your arm, anyway? I flipped over upside down in an empty dunk tank.
You know, you could just tell me what it was.
I'm not gonna judge you because you, you know, hurt yourself.
It happens to people.
It happens to me all the time.
Okay.
All right.
You ready, Rut? Dunk tank.
I'm ready.
Count me down.
Okay, here we go.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Pull it, big daddy.
Pull it.
We were in Southern California competing over which one of our luxury pickup trucks was the best in the country.
So far, Rut's Toyota Tundra had won two challenges While Adam's Ram and my F-150 had won one each.
But now we were testing what trucks were really made for hauling.
And for this one, we had to pull a 128,000-pound boeing 727 around an obstacle course.
Rut was up first.
Pull it, big daddy.
Pull it.
- It's moving.
- He's moving it! It's moving! Oh, my gosh.
It's working.
Come on.
He's moving a plane.
That's annoying.
I'm pulling an airplane with a truck.
I need to get up and cruise so it's not just killing the transmission.
Oh, wow.
Oh, this is crazy.
He's not going very fast, though.
You want to know how slow he's going I think the plane is gonna pass him.
You know what would happen if you tried to slow down and the plane just started turing the truck and Jack-knifed it, and then And then bean-canned it? I know what exactly what would happen.
I would laugh for a week and a half.
All right, now I'm in four low.
So my turning is gonna be real hard to do.
All right, he's making a turn.
He's making the turn! All right.
Ooh.
This is where it gets hairy.
Keep it up.
It's all about momentum here.
We're about to revolutionize the way airports do business.
God, what a weird-ass thing to be doing on a Tuesday.
The truck feels just as happy as could be.
We're cruising at 10 miles and hour.
- I'm impressed.
He hasn't run over any tug or- You know what? He's a pulling plane, and this is the fastest I've ever seen him drive.
Oh, Tundra.
Watch out for the tug.
- Wait, he's coming right at us.
- Yeah, this isn't good.
Which way's he gonna go? - What are you doing? - There it is.
- That's not funny.
- There it is! - Boom! - That's not funny! It worked! That was so awesome! Way to go, Tundra! You are awesome! Did you see that? That looked so much slower than it probably felt.
That was That was incred I felt like I was doing 100 miles an hour.
There was so much going on.
- I thought I was gonna clip one of the tugs for sure.
- Yeah.
Two minutes, 26 seconds.
Don't know if that's fast or not.
I'm sorry, your flight's been delayed.
Try and beat that.
I certainly will.
Pay attention.
You know what? I think I could have done it in four high.
That was four low.
That's a good tip.
Thank you.
What I meant was I meant you should definitely do it in four low.
Now it was Ram time.
Okay, Adam, you ready? I'm ready.
I don't even see him in there.
Where are you? I'm ready.
What? What are you doing up there? Look, the doctor said I couldn't drive the truck.
He didn't say anything about driving a plane.
Whatever.
All right! Sounds good! All right, stig, here we go.
In 3, 2, 1Don't beat me.
Go, stiggy, go! Look at that.
It's having trouble.
What are we doing about the wing, man? What do I do about the wing?! Noooo! Aah! We're fine.
That is terrifying.
That is amazing, isn't it? Wow.
It is so big.
Oh, look how fast the stig is going! I think we're lifting off the ground.
Listen to the engine.
He's maxed out.
Oh, he just shifted.
Oh.
Oh, that was good, stig.
Whoa.
He turned pretty sharp.
He looks really close to the tug.
He's turning in already.
Wow.
Ooh.
Ooh, is that gonna Oooh.
There we go, stig.
And it's coming back.
There you go, stig! Let the Ram run, baby! Oh, easy! Oh, my gosh.
Which way is he going? No, he's gonna thread the needle.
Dude, listen to it.
Do you hear how high the rpms are? Go, stig! Boom! Oh, this is awesome! I touched it.
Yes! - That was huge! - Come on, let's go.
Oh, there you are.
Do you remember what his time was? What was my time? I do not remember.
- It was a 2.
26.
- Yeah.
You did 2.
10.
Or stig or somebody did it in 2.
10.
Yes! I mean, it's not like you even did it.
- Yes, I did.
- You were just along for the ride.
No, I was steering from up here so we could cut the corners.
That's how we made up some time.
Well, you got to try and beat 2.
10 without cheating.
Okay, I'm ready to go.
Here.
You got the clock? I got it.
- I bet we couldn't do that twice.
- Just go.
Just go.
This engine the ecoboost actually puts out 420-foot pounds of torque at a pretty low rpm.
That's more than the Toyota's v8.
So I'm feeling pretty good about this.
But you know it's his lifelong dream to beat the stig.
Yes.
And he has yet to do it, so I can't see today being the day.
And they stig, you know, I mean, he's the best driver in the world, - but he is limited to his equipment.
- Correct.
So, and that Ram I mean, you know it - Hey.
- Hasn't been strong.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm also just gonna go faster than I probably should in order to beat the stig.
I think you would, too.
- All right, Tanner, you ready? - Yeah.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1Go! Surprise, he jumped the start.
Ooh.
You hear that turbo? There he goes.
Hear the turbo singing.
Going for a shift.
It's a pretty hard shift.
Oh, look how close he's getting to that tug.
- Oh, is he gonna hit it? - He's gonna hit it.
No.
No, he cleared it.
We're good on tug number one.
Building speed.
You know what? He is off to a fast start.
420-foot pounds of torque cranking away.
Going for another shift.
Ooh.
And we're gonna swing wide.
Oh, he's hitting the brakes.
What's he doing? If he doesn't get off the brakes, he's gonna get pushed sideways by that plane and he'll be toast.
And back on the gas.
Oh, look how tight he is going.
He is flying.
Oh, it's close to the tug.
Wow.
Look at that.
Uh-oh.
Make it around the last corner, gentlemen! Look out! All right.
I don't know how he's che Is there nitrous on there? We are hauling the mail! Yeah! Holy (Bleep) Get out of the way.
Get out of the way.
Yes! Yes! Stop the clock! Stop the clock! Watch the wing! How fast is he going? Good lord! You're a complete moron.
You are a psycho.
It seemed pretty stable on the turn, actually.
What are you talking about? When you hit the brakes, we thought, "well, it was nice knowing him.
" What was my time? 1.
42.
Yes! Which, by the way, the interesting thing about this towing part, is it's really what these trucks are about, so this is probably the most relevant challenge we've had to do.
Are you just saying that because it's the only thing the Ford has done well? No, actually, 'cause I won the family thing.
You know, the driveability.
Okay, well, I won the handling, so mine handles the best.
That's true, but you might recall the Tundra was the best off-road, plus it was the safest.
Err! Okay, so mine was easy to drive for virtually anybody, even the Walker lady, and it is the most truckiness of the trucks, which is ultimately the reason you buy one of these things is to tow things.
For its truckiness? For its truckiness.
Do you want a ride home in the winning Tundra? I'd rather take the plane.
Come on, let's get out of here before we get arrested.
Adam and Rut could complain all they wanted, but it was clear to me, at least, why the F-150 remains the best-selling and most versatile truck in the nation.