Alfred Hitchcock Presents s04e10 Episode Script

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
No, this is not a production of Hamlet: I'm indulging in a hobby.
Archeology.
I've unearthed the grave of a man who lived thousands of years ago.
Obviously, we've changed somewhat since then.
This man was buried with all his possessions.
His cattle, his two wives, and several of these.
However, instead of wearing them in his nose and ears, as any civilized person would, he wore this around his middle.
Each of his wives had one around her.
As nearly as we can judge, they all died of exhaustion.
This man shrewdly combined the eternal triangle and the family circle.
For details of how a more modern man coped with the situation, I refer you to tonight's chronicle.
May I help you, madam? Mrs.
Teleton? I'm Blanche Herbert.
How do you do? How do you do, Miss Herbert? I'm glad you could come.
Thank you.
I suppose you think it odd my asking you to meet me here.
Oh, I feel I know you, Miss Herbert.
Let me spare you the trouble of a confession.
I've known all about you and Oliver since he met you.
I know how often you see each other and where.
Does that clear the air for you, so to speak? Oh, waiter? Yes, madam.
Would you like a cocktail? I'd prefer tea.
Then, we'll have tea.
And cakes, madam? Yes.
Oh, bring some of those nice, little macaroon things.
I must admit, Miss Herbert, you're something of a surprise to me.
Oh, in what way? Well, I've always imagined Oliver taking up with someone younger, or someone a bit fluffier, if you know what I mean.
Oliver's tastes don't seem to run to young girls.
What I can't understand is why you should want to talk to me? Oliver is in love with me, Mrs.
Teleton.
I imagine there must be some reason why he goes on seeing you.
Mrs.
Teleton, neither Oliver nor I have any desire to hurt you.
We didn't mean to fall in love, it just happened.
Bigger than both of you, isn't that what they say? Anything else, madam? Nothing, thanks.
You have to admit that you and Oliver haven't had a real marriage for some time now.
I don't have to admit anything.
If your marriage were a good one, if there were still love in it, I simply wouldn't exist for Oliver.
Uh, cream or lemon? Nothing.
You surely can't want to hold on to a man who no longer loves you? Have you finished stating your case? The divorce would be handled very quietly, and Oliver and I would wait for a respectable length of time before marrying, so as to avoid any embarrassment to you.
I suppose I should be touched by your concern.
You don't want to hurt me or cause me any embarrassment, you just want my husband.
Because I love him, and you don't.
And he loves me.
You should really try one of these macaroons.
They're delicious.
Do you know, Miss Herbert, I'm frankly shocked at Oliver's indiscretion.
Frankly shocked.
I wonder if you really are.
I have a feeling that you've been honest with me, Miss Herbert.
Oh, now, let me return the compliment.
Your friendship with Oliver is your affair, and his.
I have no objection to it.
If you want to accept presents from him, even to the extent of a small establishment, or to be blunt, room, board and enough to get by on, I don't mind.
Perhaps that surprises you.
No, somehow it doesn't.
But just don't get greedy, Miss Herbert.
You see, I have no intention of divorcing Oliver, or allowing him to obtain a divorce.
I do hope I've made myself clear.
But why? Why would you refuse him a divorce? You don't love him.
I'm fond of him.
I shall always be his wife.
Ours may not be a real marriage to you, I can assure you, it is real enough for me.
You're not thinking of him at all, are you? You have no idea what Oliver means to me.
Oh, waiter.
Yes, madam.
May I have the check, please? Oh, Mrs.
Teleton, you were to be my guest.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's a pleasure, I assure you.
Thank you.
Thank you, madam.
Well, Miss Herbert, I've so enjoyed meeting you.
You won't reconsider? Absolutely not.
There is nothing to reconsider.
It's a pity you have to rush off when there's so much we might have discussed.
For instance, Robert Cressant.
I believe you know him.
Oh, but I mustn't detain you.
Miss Herbert.
Miss Herbert.
You know Robert Cressant? The name is familiar, is it? Oh, but I expect you've told Oliver all about him.
Told him? But, in what connection? Perhaps Oliver might be interested in your letter to him.
But I don't recall a letter.
Oh, I recall it very well.
You see, I have it.
Miss Herbert, couldn't we talk? You know, of course, that I broke with Robert long before I was married.
Oh, Oliver knew about him, certainly.
And after you were married? Oh, you're surely not suggesting I was foolish enough to go on seeing him.
Oh, please! It went on for months after your marriage.
For months! That's not true! Did Robert tell you this? If he did, he was lying! You told me, in this letter.
You wrote it to Robert Cressant the day before you announced your engagement to Oliver.
Madam? I'd like a scotch, please.
Yes.
Make it two.
Certainly, madam.
Just to refresh your memory, "My darling.
"I'm sure you understand that no matter how much we love each other, "the chances of our being able to marry are very remote.
"I need to be Oliver's wife.
"I don't love him, I love you, Robert.
"But I desperately need all the things Oliver can give me.
"Darling, my marriage needn't change anything for us.
"We'll go on seeing each other just the same.
" Stop it! Oh, but there's lots more, Mrs.
Teleton! I don't want to hear it! Well, it does get a bit repetitious from here on.
I believe I counted four separate places where you say that you don't love Oliver, but you do love Robert.
How did you get this letter? Do you know Robert? Cheers! I assume that Oliver hasn't seen the letter.
Would you like him to see it? Now, why are you doing all this? Why did you bother to ask me for anything? You've had the letter all along.
Why didn't you just show it to Oliver and let him divorce me? I wanted to give you a chance.
A chance? If I give the letter to Oliver, you won't get a cent and you know it.
But, if you go home to Oliver and tell him that you value his happiness enough to set him free, I'm sure he'll provide for you.
And what does that mean? I thought you put it very well a while ago.
"Room, board and enough to get by on.
" Well, you answered my question.
You're trying to blackmail me.
I should like a little time.
Oh, just to think.
I suppose I'm entitled to that.
Let's say a day.
Twenty-four hours.
That's a lot of time to think.
I'm giving you my phone number.
I'll expect to hear from you.
Oh.
This is on me.
Well, I've so enjoyed our little chat.
Goodbye.
Is that you, dear? Yes.
Did you have a nice time? Oh, yes, but I'm a bit tired.
I'm sorry.
Oh, it's nothing.
Can I get you a drink? What a good idea.
Darling.
Do you know, it's a long time since we took a trip together? Hmm, well over a year, I guess.
I passed our travel agents this afternoon.
They had cruise pictures in the window that looked very inviting.
They're supposed to, my dear.
They tempted the Reynolds, you know.
Dave and Marian are leaving next week.
Say, you could join them.
I know they'd love to have you.
No.
I couldn't go without you.
Please.
I'm afraid I really can't get away this time of year.
Or we could go to Hawaii again? That was our first cruise together, remember? I'm hardly likely to forget our honeymoon.
Anyhow, it's quite out of the question for me right now.
Why don't you go, my dear? They'd love to have you.
No.
Not without you.
Well, you probably want to spend a quiet evening at home.
I'll go on down to the club for a few hands of bridge, if you're sure you won't need me.
No, I won't need you.
You get a good rest now.
Good night, dear.
Good morning, dear.
Have you lost something, dear? Hello.
It's not like you to misplace anything.
I didn't hear you come down.
Here we are.
How do you feel this morning? Oh, oh, much better, but I didn't sleep very well.
Oh, here's your hat.
I hope I didn't disturb you when I came in.
Oh, no, you were very quiet.
Would you like me to call the doctor before I go? Oh, oh, heavens no.
I'll be all right by this evening.
Well, phone me at the office if you need anything.
All right.
Take care of yourself.
I will.
Hello? Oh, yes.
Miss Herbert? It's Iris Teleton.
Yes, I've been thinking.
Well, I wondered if I could come and see you this afternoon? Yes.
I've found a solution, I think.
Something that might interest you.
No.
I prefer to come to your apartment.
I don't want Oliver to know.
Yes.
Oh, yes, yes.
Yes, I have it here.
All right, then.
About 4:00.
Goodbye.
You're very punctual.
Won't you come in? Thank you.
I must congratulate you on your taste, Miss Herbert.
Your furnishings are exquisite.
Do you mind? Well, this is charming.
And you're surprised? A little.
Well, but then you're full of surprises, aren't you? As a matter of fact, it wasn't my taste.
It was It was Oliver's! He picked out all the furniture in this room.
That's the dining room.
In fact, he chose everything in the apartment.
This is what he really likes, Mrs.
Teleton.
I don't believe you know Oliver very well at all.
Well, I don't see that, that matters very much now.
Oh, indeed it does matter.
For one thing, it makes me feel less guilty.
You're really to blame for the way things have turned out.
The moment you felt sure of Oliver, you stopped playing the game.
It was rather a serious mistake.
Well, I'm sure you'll play the game much more cleverly than I have.
That won't be hard, Mrs.
Teleton.
On the phone, you said you had found a solution? Yes.
Something I thought might interest you.
Oliver interests me.
In fact, that's the only solution that does.
Quite.
I assume that you still have my letter? Right here.
I should like to buy it.
Why, Mrs.
Teleton, I don't believe you trust me.
I don't trust anyone.
I know what's crossing your mind.
You think I might show Oliver the letter after we're married, and then he'd have any settlement he'd made on you set aside.
Well, yes, that had crossed my mind.
Oh, I'm sure of your devotion to Oliver.
Still, don't you sometimes find that money is a stimulus to passion? You know that letter would cost you a great deal of money.
I thought it might.
That's why I wondered if these might interest you.
Why, that center emerald alone has to be at least 10 carats.
Look at its depth.
The other stones aren't exactly chips.
The entire weight must be about 20 carats.
Yes.
You'd get $50,000 for it, at least.
Perhaps.
These others won't bring as much, of course.
Probably $10,000 apiece.
Any good jeweler would give you 12.
$74,000.
It's quite a good price for one letter.
But not quite good enough.
$100,000 would be even better.
You may have the other half when you pay the rest of the money.
And how do I know you won't raise the price to $150,000? How do I know you'll go through with the divorce once you get the rest of the letter? You know, we're very much alike, you and Mrs.
Teleton, you wouldn't? No, I wouldn't.
But Oliver would, and this is his gun.
You had a lover's quarrel, you and Oliver.
He threatened to leave you and you made such a dreadful scene, he had to shoot you! No, listen.
No.
No, listen.
You mustn't.
You don't Yes? Oh, it's you, Harper.
How did it go? She actually went to Blanche's flat, eh? Got there about four.
When did she leave? A short time ago, eh? Of course, she went to get the letter.
You don't think I was fool enough to give Blanche the original, do you? Of course not, just a copy.
The one she wrote Cressant is here in my safe.
Well, fine, Harper, you did a good job.
Send your bill along any time.
Right.
Goodbye.
That was the detective I hired.
I'm so glad I didn't have to involve you in all this, darling.
I didn't want your name to be brought into it.
It was quite different with Blanche.
I never could have married her.
She knows it now.
I never really trusted her.
All she ever wanted from me was money.
Well, in any case, she was well paid for this little job.
You're the one I'm going to marry, darling, just as soon as I get the divorce.
Hurry along, now.
You promised to cook my dinner tonight.
Hello.
I've just been informed that this relic, which I unearthed, was not a decoration or part of a double-ring ceremony, but was a means of sport.
The participant put it around his body in this manner.
It doesn't seem to be my size, but no matter.
You then rotate the hips.
Watch closely.
I shall demonstrate.
I hope you were watching.
I did quite well.
You will admire your ancestors more when you learn that they made these out of stone.
These hoops not only took off weight, but made formidable weapons.
That's quite enough hoopla for one evening.
I hope you will join us next week.
Good night.