Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s04e10 Episode Script

1
I know I was afraid of matcha,
but it's delicious.
When I first met you,
all you drank was
coffee with five sugars.
That's what ruined my
heart and led me to you.
Every day I thank God
for your clogged arteries.
Zip me up.
It looks nice, Mummy.
You want to get out of
there any time soon,
you better sell it a little more.
It is very flattering.
I think I liked the green one better.
The green one was three stores ago.
I will change and you
will drive me back there.
Wow, I thought my day sucked.
Come on, we're having fun.
You're right.
- Yay.
- After this,
I got a hair appointment, and then
you're gonna take me to a
steak dinner to show me off.
Maybe we could join
you at the steakhouse.
I want Chinese food.
Mom, how about Chinese food?
Look at these nails. You expect me
to dip them in duck sauce?
We'll see you at home.
- I miss you.
- I miss you, too.
Abishola, my brassiere
is stuck in the zipper.
I have to go.
I need two hands for this.
I've been waiting for this all day.
Mmm. Me, too.
You know, there might be a
way we don't have to spend
quite as much of our
free time with our moms
because, even though we love them
- and we are honored to
- Just tell me your plan.
Dele's turning 16 soon.
I think it's about time he gets
his granny chauffeur license.
Oh, I see.
No.
He can run errands for us.
We could send him to the post office,
to the grocery store
You want to risk my son's life
so you do not have to go to Costco?
Look, cars are safer than ever now.
The other day, I was reading a text,
car stopped itself before
I clipped a dog walker.
You were texting while driving?
Good thing Dele's not me.
You raised a kid who follows the rules.
I have no doubt he
would be a safe driver.
There you go.
I'm gonna make him a
"first time behind the wheel" playlist.
Do you know if Dele likes Roy Orbison?
He's not ready to drive yet.
Okay, imagine we're both at work,
Mom cuts her hand in the kitchen.
- Which mom?
- I'm not picky.
There's blood everywhere.
Okay, they called 911.
The ambulance is taking too long.
Who's gonna save them?
I've trained Dele to handle
most medical emergencies.
Of course.
Working through lunch, huh?
Yeah.
I remember that.
Now, I spend my whole break
trying to scrub
the garbage juice off my hands.
- Goodwin's gonna kill me.
- Why?
I just found out that a
vendor's been underpaying us
for five years.
Look, they're locked in
our system at an old rate.
Yeah, well, that's not your fault.
You think he's gonna see it that way?
Oh, uh, hey, Goodwin, FYI,
we've been bleeding
money for half a decade.
Oh, thank you, Douglas. I love bad news.
How about when he
doesn't laugh at your jokes,
and then he says:
That was amusing. Now, get back to work.
There's no pleasing the guy.
Work is not for pleasure.
Keep your smiles at home.
Okay, stop. I-I don't know what to do.
Well, when I was in management
and I had to deliver bad news,
I found it was best received
if I coupled it with a solution.
That's smart.
So, if you were in my position,
what would your solution be?
- Well, uh, I would get the vendor on the phone
- Okay.
and incentivize a re-initiation.
- What?
- Okay,
you know when your cable company calls
and they offer you extra channels,
and you're like, "Heck yeah, I'll watch
some French game shows."
But then you don't realize
they roped you into a new contract.
That's great,
so we just screw them over.
Mm-mm-mm. Incentivize re-initiation.
Thank you. Goodwin's gonna love this.
Well done, Douglas.
- No, no, it's Douglas.
- No, it's Douglas.
- Douglas. Douglas.
- Douglas. Douglas.
Douglas.
I cannot believe Dele's
old enough to drive.
Because he is not.
It seems like yesterday he
was calling me Auntie Kem-Kem.
Now, his voice has got so deep,
when I call you at home and he answers,
I think it is you.
Because of the deep, masculine voice.
When my son was 15,
he opened the car door for me,
and that's when I knew
he had become a man.
My son was opening doors
as soon as he could walk.
Mine, too.
I'm sorry your son was so disrespectful.
When I look at Dele,
I still see the ten-pound baby
that nearly ripped me in half.
I remember how upset I was
when Funmbi moved away.
Thank God I have other children.
I only have Dele.
And as I've told you before, mistake.
Before you know it, he'll be off
to college, starting his career,
getting married.
Stop listing things.
It's okay, Abishola.
One day he will give you grandchildren,
and you will have a whole
new generation to control.
- Thank you, Kemi.
- Mm-hmm.
MaxDot Manufacturing. Bob Wheeler.
Hello, Bob.
The phones are officially
up and running.
Thank you.
You are welcome.
Okay, we can hang up now.
Okay.
Hey, what was your first car?
Powder blue Peugeot 404.
What's a Peugeot?
- It is a French car.
- Any good?
It is a French car.
Mine was a maroon '67 Impala.
Automatic or stick?
What do you take me for? Stick.
Well, I never know with you Americans.
You act as if
you are afraid to drive with two feet.
My dad taught me at a cemetery.
Nice paved road,
no cars,
and we got to say hi to Pop-Pop.
My first time driving was
Nigeria had once again failed
to qualify for the African Cup.
And, naturally,
my father was blind drunk.
Naturally.
But someone had to get him to church,
so he tossed the keys to
12-year-old Babatunde,
and in that moment,
I became a man.
Abishola won't even let
Dele sit in the front seat.
Well, if you were raising a child
in another part of the world,
on your own,
how would you behave?
But she's not on her own anymore.
I know that, you know that,
but most importantly,
she does not care what we know.
Dele needs to experience the
independence a car gives you.
The freedom of putting your
foot on the gas and just going.
Yes, there is nothing quite like
the wind blowing through your afro.
An afro and a French car?
Man, you were living.
You have no idea.
And, unfortunately, the holiday socks
did not sell as well as hoped.
Kofo, I told you socks
would not make a good stocking stuffer.
And you are right once again, sir.
Anything else?
Uh, I have something.
Turns out, one of our bigger accounts
has been massively
underpaying us for a while.
What do you mean "a while"?
It really doesn't matter.
No length of time is acceptable,
be it a week or five years.
Five years?
My stocking stuffers
do not seem so bad now.
I have a solution.
We can make the money back
by incentivizing
a re-initiation.
That is very smart.
It's the same thing
a cable company does.
I am familiar with the concept.
Okay, not everybody is.
Excellent work, Douglas.
This is the type of creative
thinking we need in this company.
Thank you.
You saved the day.
Thank you.
Yeah, way to go, Douglas.
Thank you.
- Uh, Christina.
- Yes?
Could you vacuum my car?
I made the mistake of
giving my son a croissant.
- Was there chocolate?
- Yes.
Good job, Christina.
So, how'd you do
on that algebra quiz today?
A-plus and extra credit.
How about that cute girl
in your science class?
Did you say, "What's good"?
We just say "hello" now.
Can't go wrong with a classic.
What are you doing?
I am gonna teach you to drive.
No, thank you.
The first time's always a little scary,
but you'll be fine.
Mom wouldn't like this.
She's not here. It's just you, me,
and a quarter-mile of open
road until the school zone.
Really, it's okay.
Humor me, will you?
This is a big stepdad moment.
I've never tried sushi.
We could do that.
Men don't bond over raw fish, Dele.
Come on, do it for me.
I'm not ready.
You're as ready as
you'll let yourself be.
- I already know how to drive.
- What?
My dad taught me when I was in Nigeria.
Oh. Okay.
Did you have fun?
It was awesome.
He took me to the same
road that he learned on.
That's nice.
I was nervous, but he talked me
through it, and it went great.
Good for him.
- He even made me a special playlist.
- Oh, come on.
All right, stick to the side streets.
I'm not afraid of the highway.
No rush to get back to your mom.
No one jogs to the electric chair.
Ever heard of a turn signal?
Wow, your dad even taught you road rage.
I wanted to teach you that.
I was just doing what he told me.
I get it.
You seem upset.
I wanted to be the one to teach you
to drive behind your mom's back.
There are other things
you could teach me.
If you think I'm buying you a beer,
you're too young.
That's okay, my dad already bought
Oh, come on.
You got a problem.
Hey.
Hi, there.
Is that my cheesecake?
Well, would you look at that.
I'm sorry,
I got caught up in the attaboy,
but if I'd said it was you,
it would've been an "atta-both of us,"
and that's not as good.
What about personal integrity?
- Ethics? Moral courage?
- Oh, come on, Christina,
I don't have any of that.
God, you suck. You truly suck.
Goodwin said you did
a good job on his car.
I forgive you.
- Hey, honey.
- Kaale, Mom.
Uh-uh, you are home late.
Bob will tell you why. I have homework.
Wow.
What's going on?
I'll tell you what's going on.
That ex-husband of yours
is some piece of work.
- What are you talking about?
- Get this,
he went behind our backs
and taught Dele to drive.
How dare he undermine me like that?
Right?
I think you should call him and
give him a piece of your mind.
Bob?
Yeah?
Why did he tell you?
Huh?
Why did Dele tell you
he knew how to drive?
It came up in conversation.
What conversation?
The conversation I had with him
when I offered to teach him to drive.
I specifically told you I
did not want him driving.
I made a call. Look,
I know you're trying to protect Dele,
but he's growing up
whether you like it or not.
Well, thank you
for educating me about my son.
Aw, come on, don't
Get.
Knock, knock.
Kaasan, Auntie.
Just coming to have lunch
with my blue-collar husband.
Uncle's sealing up some windows.
Walk till you hear the sounds
of Earth, Wind, and Tunde.
He's like a new man.
He has lost eight pounds
since he started helping you.
That's great.
I don't know what I'd do without him.
He comes home each day with the appetite
of someone 20 years younger.
You're not talking about food, are you?
No.
I got to take this.
Oh, of course.
Bob Wheeler.
- Bob.
- I'm sorry, who's this?
Tayo.
I just spoke to Abishola.
It seems we are in
the doghouse together.
Glad this is fun for you.
Ah, she's overreacting.
I taught Dele to drive the
same way my father taught me.
Oh, what kind of car did you learn in?
A ruby red Nissan Terrano II.
Sounds cool.
It was not.
'67 Impala for me.
Ah, that was my dream car.
Ah, your dream car got
six gallons to the mile.
You mean miles to the gallon?
No, I said it right.
You should have seen
Dele on his first drive.
I said, "Only do
what makes you feel comfortable,"
and, boom, he got right on
the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway.
The what?
It's the Route 66 of Nigeria.
Well, from now on, I'll think of it
as the Lagos-Ibadan of America.
Ah It's nice to know
that there's someone
rational in my son's life.
Hey, Abishola's raising
that kid on her own
in a country that brings
danger for him at every turn.
God bless her for being overprotective.
I'm sorry,
did I call Bob or my ex-wife?
- I'm hanging up.
- Okay.
I was just saying I'm happy there's
a like-minded parent
for Dele in America.
Oh, we're not like-minded.
We just agree on this one thing.
Oh, so you don't think it would be good
for Dele to get a summer job?
Okay, we agree about two things.
Ah. It will teach him responsibility,
keep him out of trouble.
Put some money in his pocket.
Hmm. You know, Abishola thinks
he should focus on his studies,
but if both of us push for it
I'm hanging up.
- You wanted to see me?
- Ah, yes. Please, have a seat.
At the end of every successful week,
I like to treat myself
to a finger of single malt scotch.
- Sounds nice.
- It is.
Guess who else has earned a finger.
All right, finger me, bro.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Hey, Goodwin, do you have a sec?
I do not.
I've noticed that sales from our
men's line have dropped, and I think
it might be a design issue.
Okay. Goodbye.
Well, when it comes
to therapeutic hosiery,
men prefer a more discreet
look over loud patterns.
Research shows that
they don't like drawing attention
to their health needs.
Interesting.
I thought so.
Well done.
In the future, if you have other ideas,
you may tell Douglas,
and he will pass them along.
Of course.
Hang on, Christina.
You should know, if it wasn't for her,
I wouldn't have had
any idea what to do about
the whole messed-up order.
Is that so?
It is.
I would've genuinely
been lost without her.
Christina, sit down.
Join us for a finger.
I'm sorry?
It'll make sense in a second.
Let's see, how about fishing?
Anybody ever teach you how to fish?
Uncle Tunde.
Hmm
You ever play poker?
Well, how do you think
I got these shoes?
- Dele?
- Yes, Mum?
Come with me.
- Am I in trouble?
- You will see.
Seems like yes.
Good luck, buddy.
Ta-da!
Are you serious?
You let Bob buy me a car?
I bought it.
It has the highest
possible safety ratings,
and because it is yellow,
people will see you
and not crash into you.
It's definitely yellow.
Thank you, Mum. I love it.
I have conditions.
You will always have
somebody in the car with you.
- Yes, Mum.
- And you will
have to get 100% in all
of your classes first.
Yes, Mum.
And you will not even touch
it without a proper permit.
So why do I have it now?
Because if you must grow up,
you will do it my way.
- Whose car is that?
- Mine.
Somehow I ended up with a car.
- Can I sit in it?
- Go ahead.
- Keys?
- Not a chance.
You continually amaze me.
I amaze myself.
No matter what anybody says,
I already know ♪
It's gonna be all right ♪
A sign is a route in the
midst of adversity ♪
Ten and two, Dele. Ten and two!
Of course, Grandma Dottie. Sorry.
Watch the road, boy.
Are you trying to kill us?
No, Granny Ebun.
And turn down that music.
I can barely hear myself shout at you.
Yes, Granny Ebun.
What should we do next?
I'd be happy to take you two back home.
You want to hit up a happy hour?
Dele can stay in the car.
I did it all the time with Bobby.
I suppose I could go for a Mai Tai.
Attagirl!
Dele, take us to the Red Onion on 14th.
Step on it.