Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s04e10 Episode Script

1
THAT'S SO TOTALLY RADICAL.
LOOKS LIKE A HOOT.
AND ONLY A QUARTER, TO BOOT.
I WANT TO TRY! I WANT TO TRY!
HOW ABOUT YOU, JIMMY?
I'M SO CHEEKY.
I'll PAY A QUARTER.
Ed: BETTER MOVE FAST,
BECAUSE NO ONE,
AND I MEAN NO ONE,
CAN RESIST POPPING
TRIPLE-E BUBBLE WRAP.
AIN'T THAT SO, DOUBLE-D?
OUR HIGH-END QUALITY
RECYCLED BUBBLE WRAP
CAN PROVIDE INFINITE
MOMENTS OF AMUSEMENT.
SHALL I DEMONSTRATE?
[PFFFFT]
WELL, FOR GOODNESS SAKES.
[BOOM]
YOW!
WHOA!
SO, WHO'S FIRST? ROLF?
ROLF? OK, ED BOY,
LET ROLF HAVE A GO.
PLANK WANTS TO TRY, TOO, EDDY.
ED, BUBBLE WRAP, CHOP-CHOP!
A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME, MONSIEUR.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?!
SHH
NO MORE BUBBLE WRAP, EDDY!
DOUBLE-D POPPED ALL OF IT!
OH, SURE. EVIL DOUBLE-D
POPPED ALL OF YOUR
SILLY BUBBLE WRAP
WITH HIS RANCOROUS RUMP.
HA HA. A BIT OF A
RESTOCKING PROBLEM, FOLKS.
I'll JUST CHECK
WITH OUR SUPPLIER.
Ed: BUT I CAN'T DANCE, EDDY!
GET THE REST OF THAT BUBBLE WRAP
OUT OF YOUR SHED, LUMPY, QUICK!
OW!
Sarah: ED, GET OUT! SCRAM! OUT!
Ed: I'M SORRY! I
JUST WAIT, GUYS!
OOH! OOH!
SARAH'S GOT THE BACKYARD, EDDY.
WHO THE HECK DOES
SHE THINK SHE IS?
BEFORE YOU PROCEED TO OPEN
THE PROVERBIAL PANDORA'S BOX,
ED'S EJECTION SHOULD HAVE BEEN
A CLEAR INDICATION
AS TO OUR FATE.
LOOK OUT. I'll GET THE
STUPID BUBBLE WRAP.
OW! OOH! OW!
READ THE SIGN, WORTHLESS.
SEE?
"SARAH AND JIMMY'S RICH CLUB.
MEMBERS ONLY."
COMMONERS CAN BE SO DROLL.
DON'T YOU AGREE, COUNTESS SARAH?
PAY NO HEED TO THE
TRASH, MASTER JIMMY.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
TA-TA.
MY, HOW FLAMBOYANT!
SEEMS SARAH AND
JIMMY ARE ROLE-PLAYING,
USING THEIR IMAGINATION.
WHY, THEIR UNTUTORED RENDITION
OF AN OPULENT LIFESTYLE
IS ABSOLUTELY CHARMING.
TRASH?! WHERE DO
THOSE DWEEBS GET OFF
HAVING A RICH CLUB?
I'M THE HEAD HONCHO
OF RICH AROUND HERE.
HUH?
IF THEY WANT RICH,
WE'LL SHOW THEM RICH.
[SNAP]
OH, BOY!
NOBODY KNOWS NOTHING LIKE EDDY!
I'M SO RICH, THEY
CALL ME EDDY McRICH.
UNPREMEDITATED CREATIVITY.
WHAT A SPLENDID WAY
TO SPEND AN AFTERNOON.
THANK YOU, KLAUS. THA
WILL BE ALL. YOU VEX ME.
THAT IS, UNLESS COUNTESS
SARAH REQUIRES A TOP-UP.
NO MORE FOR ME, THANK YOU.
I'll JUST BUY THE COMPANY,
AS I'M QUITE RICH.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
HA HA HA! OH, YOU'RE
SIMPLY TOO SUBLIME.
Ed: ALLEY-UP!
JUST BACK FROM HIS SAFARI,
THE RICHEST RICH GUY
TO RICH AROUND THE RICH
EDDY McRICH!
HOLD STILL, YOU [PANTING]
I UNDERSTAND YOU
HAVE A RICH CLUB.
HAS ANYONE GOT CHANGE
FOR A MILLION-BUCK BILL?
Jimmy: DID YOU JUST HEAR
ANYTHING, COUNTESS?
NOT A PEEP, MASTER JIMMY.
SILLY ME. IT MUST HAVE
BEEN YOUR JEWELRY RATTLING.
HA HA HA HA!
WHEN WILL THEY LEARN?
IGNORE THE RIFFRAFF, COUNTESS.
OUR YACHT IS ABOUT TO
CROSS THE FINISH LINE.
Ed: ONE YACHT, HOLD THE ONIONS.
HAS OUR SHIP COME IN OR WHAT?
TEL THE CHEF TO COOK UP
SOME MORE OF THAT CAVIAR.
I'M PARCHED.
SAY, STEWARD,
HOW'S MY FIRST-PLACE
YACHT-RACING
TROPHY COMING ALONG?
IT LOOKS POLISHED AND VERY
EXPENSIVE, ADMIRAL McRICH.
HEY, SIR LUMPY, SOUND THE HORN.
AYE-AYE, ADMIRAL McRICH.
[RUMBLING]
WE'RE SINKING!
LIFEBOATS!
WE FORGOT TO MAKE LIFEBOATS!
IT WASN'T ME, EDDY!
CARE TO NOSH ON SOME TRUFFLES
VEILED IN IMPORTED
WHITE CHOCOLATE?
THAT'S RICHER THAN I AM!
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
BY GEORGE, THAT'S IT!
I KNOW HOW WE CAN
BECOME MEMBERS.
WE'LL DRESS UP AS GRANDPARENTS.
GRANDPARENTS ARE
RICH IN EXPERIENCE
AND HAVE A WEALTH OF WISDOM.
OOH! OOH! LET ME, EDDY!
THAT IS STUPID, DOUBLE-D.
SO GLAD YOU COULD COME.
I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED I
FOR THE WORLD, DARLINGS.
CHARMING AS EVER, LADY NAZZ.
I'M SURE.
ANNOUNCE ROLF, LITTLE ONE,
AS THE DUKE OF DELI
MEATS HAS ARRIVED.
Sarah: I THINK THEY CAN
ALREADY SMELL YOU, ROLF.
[CLANGING AND SINGING]
PARDON ME, JONNY,
BUT THERE IS A
COLANDER ON YOUR HEAD.
YEP. JUST LIKE RICH PEOPLE.
[CLANGING]
HE'S SO ECCENTRIC.
IS JOHNNY TRES CHICK OR WHAT?
UH OOH!
WELL, IT SEEMS SARAH
AND JIMMY'S RICH CLUB
ISN'T AS EXCLUSIVE
AS WE THOUGHT.
WE'RE JOINING THAT CLUB!
Sarah: OVER TO
YOU, MASTER JIMMY.
COUNTESS SARAH.
[CLANG]
THIS POLO STUFF IS HARD
ON A GUY'S FANCY
DUDS, HUH, PLANK?
Different voice: WE DON'
CARE BECAUSE WE'RE RICH.
[LAUGHTER]
[LAUGHTER STOPS]
THE NAME'S McRICH.
HOW DO YOU DO?
WE'RE ALL WELL-TO-DO.
GRR [AHEM]
MIGHT I SEE YOUR INVITATIONS?
THANK YOU.
INVITATIONS?
INVITATION?
DOES A BELLY BUTTON COUNT?
THEY DON'T HAVE INVITATIONS!
MOVE IT OR LOSE IT, DORK.
Sarah: GREETINGS, SIR KEVIN.
AND HE'S NOT EVEN DRESSED RICH!
LIKE I'D EVER.
TAKE A HIKE, YOU FREELOADERS!
WE'RE STAYING RIGHT HERE!
NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE.
OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.
EDDY, MAYBE IT'S BES
WE ADMIT TO DEFEA
AND RETREAT TO OUR
CATCHPENNY STATUS IN LIFE.
COUNTESS SARAH, WAIT!
[WHISPERING]
MY, WHAT A RATHER UNFRIENDLY
BREEZE WE HAVE HERE.
Sarah: CAPITAL
IDEA, MASTER JIMMY!
GENTLEMEN, WE'VE DISCUSSED
YOUR CREDENTIALS AND AGREED.
YOU THREE WILL MAKE FINE
NEW MEMBERS TO OUR CLUB.
OH! WOW! ABSOLUTELY!
IT SURE WAS NICE OF THEM
TO THROW IN THESE
CLOTHES, HUH, BOYS?
YEP, THIS MONKEY SUI
SCREAMS "HEAD HONCHO OF RICH."
SILLY ME. I'VE GONE AND LEF
MY HURDY-GURDY AT HOME.
DON'T FORGET YOUR
HAT, MR. HONCHO.
WHOA!
YOU FORGOT YOUR HAT.
WHOA!
THEY'RE OFF!
OH!
MR. McRICH, GLAD
YOU COULD DROP BY.
FANCY PAINTING SYSTEM
YOU'VE GOT THERE.
MASTER JIMMY AND I HAVE A TASK
FOR SOMEONE OF YOUR UPBRINGING.
Jimmy: YES, MR. McRICH.
I'VE BECOME BORED WITH THIS SPO
AND URGENTLY NEED YOU
TO CARRY ME TO THAT SPOT.
WHY, CERTAINMUNDO.
AFTER ALL, WE RICH FOLKS
SHOULD STICK TOGETHER.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
MISERABLE SUBORDINATE!
ROLF'S BELLY ACHES
FOR SUSTENANCE!
ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.
SEEMS I'M BEING
SUMMONED, LADY NAZZ.
DON'T SWEAT IT. I'll HOLD
IT TILL YOU GET BACK.
[MUTTERING]
AREN'T THEY CUTE, KEVIN?
[GULP GULP GULP]
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
FOR A LITTLE TYKE,
YOU'RE KIND OF HEFTY.
HERE WE ARE. AND
A GRAND SPOT IT IS.
I'M PLEASANTLY CHARMED,
BUT I REQUIRE COMPANIONSHIP.
FETCH ME SARAH.
TWO'S COMPANY, BU
THREE'S HIGH SOCIETY.
GOTCHA.
HA HA HA!
A FINE ARRAY OF CANAPES
TO SOOTHE YOUR BELLY.
WHAT IS THIS?
A TEENSY-WEENSY
PITIFUL EXCUSE AT FOOD
FOR A DRIBBLING BABY?
THEY SEEMED APPROPRIATE.
YOU INSULT ROLF!
AAH!
GET SOMETHING MORE SUITED
TO ROLF'S ALMIGHTY STATURE!
I NEED SOMETHING
TO WASH IT DOWN WITH, DOUBLE-D.
[MUTTERING]
YO, VON STUPIDSTEIN.
SEE MY SHOE?
NICE.
TIE IT.
CAN DO.
ALL DONE. DEE-DI-DO.
OH
MASTER JIMMY, THIS
IS PERSNICKETY-BOO.
ISN'T IT SPLENDIFEROUS?
MR. McRICH, WE MUS
SHARE THIS WITH THE OTHERS.
OTHERS?
SURE. OK.
LET'S SEE WHAT OUR
FELLOW SOCIALITES ARE UP TO.
I THINK I'M STUCK.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE?
OH, MY! OH, DEAR!
OH, NO! YOW!
OW!
CLUMSY OAF!
WHERE ARE THE DUKE OF
DELI MEATS' HARDY EDIBLES?
Jimmy: ROLF, JOIN US, WON'T YOU?
COME. TRAVEL TO THE
MOST EXQUISITE SPO
THAT MONEY CAN BUY.
IS THAT SO?
SAVE A WINDOW SEA
FOR THE DUKE, YES?
[EXCITED CONVERSATION]
Sarah: WELL, MR. McRICH,
WE'RE WAITING.
I JUST FIGURED
SOMETHING OUT, DOUBLE-D.
BEING RICH AIN'T THAT DIFFEREN
FROM BEING A TWO-BIT SERVANT.
AIN'T LIFE GRAND?
HA HA HA! READY?
WHEE!
I'M AS HAPPY AS THE
DAY IS LONG, SARAH.
OK, YOU TELL ME,
BECAUSE I'M STUMPED.
Sarah: YUMMY.
WELL, IF THEY CAN
MAKE A CAKE OUT OF DIRT,
WE COULD MAKE A DONUT!
ME AND PLANK ARE MAKING A DONUT.
SO WHAT? WE WERE USING THAT!
DON'T YOU LIKE DONUTS?
HEE HEE HEE! ARE
YOU A DONUT HATER?
WHOO-HOO!
GIVE IT TO ME!
YOU AND PLANK CAN
GET YOUR OWN SHOVEL.
[RUMBLING]
YOU GOT PLANK WET.
CAN'T WE SHARE? PLEASE?
WE WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN.
JONNY!
STOP IT! STOP IT, YOU TWO!
MY HEART IS SINKING
INTO A SEA OF SADNESS.
IT'S THE MATCH OF THE
CENTURY, HUH, LUMPY?
MAMMOTH MOUTH
VERSUS GARGANTUAN HEAD.
NOT FOR ME, EDDY.
WITHOUT THE BUN, A
SAUSAGE HAS NO HOME.
[SOUNDS OF FIGHTING]
I'M SO UNHAPPY.
[CRYING]
HA HA HA HA!
JIMMY'S UPSET.
PERHAPS I CAN HELP.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
IF THERE'S ANY
HELPING-DOING AROUND HERE,
WE DO IT FOR CASH, BECAUSE
THAT'S HOW WE WORK.
WORK THAT BODY. WORK THAT BODY.
DON'T YOU GO AND HURT NOBODY.
Edd: ARE WE ALL SET, GENTLEMEN?
[CRYING]
Edd: HAVING A BAD DAY, FRIEND?
KISS THAT SOURPUSS
GOOD-BYE, JIMMY BOY,
BECAUSE IT'S NOTHING BU
GOOD TIMES AT SMILEYVILLE.
SMILEYVILLE?
CAST AWAY THOSE
MELANCHOLY BLUES.
EXIT YOUR CAVE OF DESPAIR.
AND GET READY FOR A DAY
OF MERRIMENT AND JOLLITY.
"FRIENDLY FERRIS WHEEL.
"A TEDDY BEAR'S PICNIC.
A CANDY LANE!"
YOU'RE LOOKING CHIPPER ALREADY.
BUT LIKE IN REAL LIFE,
HAPPINESS COSTS
DOUGH, MY FRIEND.
A MEASLY QUARTER
IS ALL IT TAKES.
WORTH EVERY PENNY, FRIEND.
ALLOW ME.
YOU GUYS ARE THE GREATEST.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
HAVE FUN, JIMMY.
A MERRY HEART GOES ALL DAY.
TA-TA!
OH, EDDY, I THINK
JIMMY'S GOING TO LOVE
ALL THAT HARD
WORK YOU AND ED DID
INSIDE SMILEYVILLE.
LET'S GO GET A JAWBREAKER
BEFORE HE FINDS OUT.
FRIENDLY FERRIS
WHEEL, HERE I COME.
HUH?
[FLIES BUZZING]
[JIMMY CRYING]
[COUGH]
[COUGH]
TODAY ROLF IS
FORCED TO CELEBRATE
HIS TRADITIONAL THANK-YOU
TO THE NOBLE GUARDIAN PIGEON.
IF ONLY I HAD A GUARDIAN PIGEON.
HUG ME, ROLF.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SOMEONE MAY BE LOOKING.
[WHIMPERING]
BUT I'VE HAD A HORRIBLE DAY,
FILLED WITH CONFLICT, TURMOIL,
AND EDDY, WHO TRICKED
ME OUT OF ALL MY MONEY.
SON OF A GUN. THE ED BOY?
HE HAS NOW JUST DEFACED
2 JOVIAL MOODS, YES?
MAKE A FUNNY FACE, BOY JIMMY,
FOR THE SPIRIT OF
THE GUARDIAN PIGEON
SHALL DISGRACE ITSELF
ON THE HEAD OF
THIS MISCHIEF-MAKER!
WHERE ARE WE GOING, ROLF?
ASK NO QUESTIONS.
COME, WILFRED.
[GRUNTING]
I SWEAR I JUST HAD IT!
MAYBE I DROPPED IT!
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, FIND
THAT QUARTER, DOUBLE-D!
EDDY, REMEMBER?
YOU GAVE THE QUARTER
TO ED FOR SAFEKEEPING.
WHAT AM I, NUTS?
HA HA HA HA!
NOW, EDDY, BE GENTLE.
ED!
[SNIFFING]
MOOLAH.
BUT, EDDY WHAT ABOUT ED?
TREE. LEAVES.
CASH.
IT'S A MONEY TREE! WHOO-HOO!
HOO HOO HOO!
I'M RICH!
AND IT'S ALL MINE!
Rolf: STOP, YOU!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TO ROLF'S MONEY TREE?
YOURS? HA.
LET ME JUST HAVE A LITTLE.
YOU CAN GROW SOME MORE.
IT'S A MONEY TREE,
FOR PETE'S SAKE!
Rolf: WHAT DO YOU
THINK, BOY JIMMY?
OH.
"WHY NOT GIVE HIM
A MAGIC MONEY SEED
"SO EDDY CAN GROW
HIS OWN MONEY TREE
IN ONLY 3 DAYS?"
YEAH! WHAT HE SAID!
BOY, OH, BOY.
ROLF IS VERY UNSURE OF THIS.
ROLF CANNOT GIVE
THE MONEY TREE
SEED TO THE ED BOY.
COULD HE?
OH, WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?
I'D GIVE YOU ANYTHING
FOR IT! NAME IT! IT'S YOURS!
ANYTHING? HMM WELL
THIS IS JUST OFF THE
TOP OF ROLF'S HEAD,
BUT ROLF WOULD LIKE
ALL YOUR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS.
YOU GOT IT.
NO CHANGING YOUR
MIND. TOO LATE. IT'S A DEAL.
VERY GOOD. ROLF WILL WAI
AT HIS DWELLING, YES?
HOO HOO HOO!
WOWIE WOW!
THE GUARDIAN PIGEON IS
WATCHING OVER ME, ROLF!
TOLERATE DELAY,
NAUSEATINGLY CUTE ONE,
AS THE GUARDIAN PIGEON HAS YE
TO DROP ITS FULL LOAD.
Ed: HA HA HA! THAT TICKLES!
HA HA HA HA!
DOUBLE-D, YOU AIN'
GONNA BELIEVE THIS!
ROLF'S GOT THIS TREE,
AND IT GROWS CASH!
AND ROLF'S GIVING ME A SEED!
I'll BE RICH!
CALM DOWN, EDDY.
YOU'RE IN A LATHER.
ED! MUSCLE.
[EDDY LAUGHING]
EDDY, WAIT. I'M CONFUSED.
Rolf: ROLF COULD PATCH A ROOF.
WITH THE BRAIN OF THAT ED BOY.
HOW GULLIBLE CAN YOU GET?
COME, POOFY-HAIRED
ONE, AND SEE THE WISDOM
OF THE GUARDIAN PIGEON.
WHAT AN EFFORTLESS ATTEMPT A
REPRODUCING COMMON CURRENCY,
NOT TO MENTION A COMPLETE WASTE
OF AN OTHERWISE FINE SOUP LABEL.
I'VE REALLY GOT TO LEARN
TO STOP TALKING TO MYSELF.
YOU KNOW, ROLF, I HAVE
SOME SKIN MOISTURIZERS
YOU REALLY MUST TRY.
THANK YOU, NO. ROLF IS GOOD.
Eddy: HERE YOU GO, DRACULA
EVERYTHING I OWN IN THIS
WHOLE STINKING WORLD.
NOW GIVE ME THA
SEED. COME ON. GIVE ME IT.
OUCH.
A DEAL IS A DEAL.
I'M RICH!
LET'S PLANT ME A NEST EGG, ED!
GOLD!
MY CHEEKS ARE
CRAMPING, I'M SO GIDDY.
THIS IS THE BESTES
DAY I'VE EVER HAD!
LET'S CELEBRATE WITH
COOKIES AND MILK, ROLF!
COOKIES AND MILK? DO
YOU WISH ROLF RIDICULED
AT THE SIGN OF THE
SHEPHERD SOCIAL CLUB?
COME. LET US STUFF INNARDS
INTO THE MEMBRANE OF A SOW.
EDDY!
Ed: THIS IS FUN!
[BOARDS CREAKING]
LOOK AT ME.
HAVE YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER
SEEN WHAT YOU'VE DONE, EDDY?
BECAUSE WHEN THEY DO,
YOU'LL PAY FOR THE
CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR GREED!
YES, HE WILL, DOUBLE-D,
BECAUSE EDDY'S GOING
TO BUY THEM A NEW HOUSE.
'CAUSE I GOT A MAGIC
MONEY TREE SEED!
AND WHEN IT SPROUTS,
I'll BUY YOU A NEW HAT.
WHAT, WITH THIS, EDDY?
A CRUDELY DRAWN BANK NOTE
ON THE BACK OF A SOUP LABEL?
NO. WITH THE OODLES OF DOUGH
FROM MY MONEY TREE! HA HA HA!
THAT IS NOT A SEED, EDDY.
THAT IS A DISCARDED SPOOL.
THEY HAD THE
NERVE TO FLEECE ME?!
WELL, TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME.
QUICK! I GOT A PLAN.
A PLAN, I SAID!
I CAN'T, EDDY!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN'T?
BECAUSE I DESPERATELY
NEED TO USE THE LAVATORY
AN UNFORTUNATE REACTION TO
THE STRESSFUL SITUATION, I'M SURE.
YOU STILL GOT ME, EDDY.
BOY, AIN'T I LUCKY?
[JIMMY HUMMING]
BOY JIMMY WHEN MIGH
YOU BE GOING HOME?
Eddy: HOLY COW!
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS?
IT'S A BUSH THAT GROWS MEAT!
LET'S GET SOME GRAVY!
Different voice: YEP. EVEN ME,
AS DOUBLE-D FINDS THIS
REALLY KIND OF LOGICAL.
Eddy: YOU SAID IT, DOUBLE-D!
I JUST USED THIS MAGIC
MEAT-GROWING DIRT!
I'll TAKE EVERYTHING YOU
GOT FOR A TRADE, HUH?
HA HA HA! THIS FOOL THINKS
ROLF AND BOY JIMMY WILL
FALL FOR HIS SHENANIGANS?
GOOFY GRAPE!
MANURE BOY!
Edd: WELL, WELL, WELL.
SEEMS ONE CAN'T TEND TO
THEIR NATURAL FUNCTIONS
WITHOUT BEING REPLACED
BY SOME RAGTAG HAND PUPPET!
Eddy: HOLD THIS.
OH, DEAR. I FELL.
GIVE ME BACK MY STUFF!
YOU JERKS RIPPED ME OFF!
ED BOY, PLEASE
STOP. I BEG OF YOU.
YOU WILL WAKE
NANA. SILENCE, YES?
THANK YOU.
SILENCE? I'll GIVE YOU SILENCE!
WHO'S THERE? WHO'S THERE?
WHO IS THERE?
Rolf: ED, BOY, HAVE
MERCY. FORGIVE ROLF,
AND ROLF WILL MAKE
GOOD BY GIVING YOU
THE REAL MONEY TREE SEED.
REAL MONEY TREE SEED?
OH, PLEASE.
DO YOU REALLY THINK EDDY
WOULD FALL FOR THAT OLD
Eddy: DEAL!
I'M RICH!
HA HA HA!
AND IT'S MINE, ALL MINE!
HEE HEE HEE!
EVEN I AM NOT THA
DUMB, DOUBLE-D.
HA HA HA HA!
AN IRIS-IN WOULD BE
APPROPRIATE, DON'T YOU THINK?
THANK YOU.