iCarly s04e10 Episode Script

I don't know.
I just feel bad for the weeds.
Weeds are nothing but green losers.
Well, maybe weeds are just, like, you know, homeless plants looking for a lawn to call their own.
Right.
And who are we to judge which plants have more of a right to I know.
This looks unusual.
I'm gonna go open a can of something and eatt.
T.
What is that? I was at the junkyard and I found a bunch of old radios, so I made them into this sculpture.
I call it potatio radio.
Why? I was squeezing a potato when I thought of it.
Well, I love radios and potatios.
Aw.
Nah.
I just ran out of clamps so I gotta hold these together 'til the glue dries.
Ah.
You're eating a can of pie filling.
It's all I've got.
Which is why I'm gonna make you your favorite kind of sandwich.
Large? - Uh-huh.
Spencer, Freddie, how does a big glass of lemonade sound? Pleasant? - Lee-moan.
Okay, everybody.
Just give me five minutes.
Is it possible she's in too good a mood? It's like she's oozing happy.
Kinda like when my mom was taking those "special vitamins.
" Skoozie, but I need Freddie.
Freddie hates you.
I don't "hate" her.
Lemonade? Oh.
Thank you.
You look so pretty today.
Well, I suppose you do too.
What's up with Sally sunshine? She's been dating a new guy.
Well, I don't see how a boy could make a girl that happy.
Sure, 'cause you haven't had a date since seinfeld got cancelled.
Oh.
It wasn't cancelled.
Jerry chose not to do another season.
Uh, Mrs.
Benson, not that we all don't want you to leave, but why are you here? Oh.
Freddie, I need to visit your aunt Susan for a few days.
Apparently, her rash is spreading.
Spencer, I need to have Freddie stay here.
Yeah, no problem.
Just make sure that Freddie gets to bed every night by - Mom.
Boys without bedtimes never Now what? Oh, my God.
The rash spread to her thighs.
I've got to go online and do some cream and ointment research.
Your aunt sounds awesome.
Like your family's not full of freaks and mutants.
Touche.
All right.
I think these radios ought to be set by now.
Eh? No! Ohhh.
I held those things together for, like, three hours.
How long does that glue take to dry? Um, I don't think this is glue.
Then what is it? It's ball joint lube.
Ohhh.
In five, four, three, two All right.
Give me your love and affection and no one gets hurt.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey, Sam, Freddie.
What's up, bro? Hey, boy.
What are you doing here? I thought you'd be on your way to l.
A.
By now.
I should be, but I wanted to give you something before I go.
Ooh, what'd you bring? Dude.
Dude.
Open it.
What'd you do? Somethin'.
A charm bracelet? It's one of a kind, like you.
It's gorgeous.
You're amazing.
You are.
You are.
You are.
You are.
Everybody take your seat.
Today we are going who's that? Steven.
You don't go to school here.
No, sir.
I'm homeschooled.
Bluch! Homeschooled kids, bunch of uneducated, socially deprived weirdos.
Yeah, you got a lot of room to call other people socially deprived weirdos.
Hey, you wanna get kicked out of this class? It's my dream.
Too bad.
And, anyway, Steven is not a weirdo.
And I'm not too socially deprived.
I've been dating Carly for three months.
It's true.
And I think I've been getting a pretty good education from my parents.
Really? 14th president of the United States? Franklin Pierce.
I like you.
Me too.
Why don't you think about coming here to ridgeway? Oh, I'd love to, but I spend every other month in Los Angeles with my dad.
Yeah.
His parents are divorced but they maintain a healthy friendship.
Really? Oh, yeah.
It's totally amicable.
Hey, I gotta bolt.
My flight leaves in an hour.
Okay.
Well, I'll see you when you get back.
And don't forget, our Oh, I know.
Sorry to interrupt.
Oh, oh, you're welcome anytime.
Bye.
- What's a 100-day kiss? Oh.
Well, on the 100th day you've been going out with someone You have a special kiss at midnight.
- To celebrate your Ooh, what fun.
- How can you have never heard of the 100-day kiss thing? I didn't know about it.
Well, yeah, but you're a Gibby.
You didn't know about radishes 'til six months ago.
Well, I know about them now, don't I? Go on, now.
Go.
Walk out the door.
Just turn around now.
You're not welcome anymore.
Oh, my God.
How funny is this? Aren't they hilarious? Yeah, it's funny.
And now, a disturbing voyage into the depths of the ever-puzzling gibby-ish brain.
That girl Carly's really pretty, don't you think? Sure.
Just, uh, not my type.
Anyway, you know, we've been going out for over three months.
I do.
We're coming up on our 100-day kiss.
Sneak preview.
Show me the trailer.
Hi, Steven.
Welcome back to L.
A.
Still not sure why you're dating Tori when I was available, but whatever.
- She's - Yeah.
Yeah.
Come on, gibbeh.
Chicken legs, music.
I wonder if that Gibby guy's playing a character or if he's just that weird.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What's up, Andre? Hey.
You guys ready for this, you ready? Wait.
Okay, I'm ready.
Okay.
You guys know my Uncle.
The creepy one or the real estate Agent? Real estate.
What about him? He sold a house you ready? You ready? Are y'all ready? Yeah.
What? To Kenan Thompson.
Kenan Thompson.
Serious? I love Kenan Thompson.
What up with that? What up with that? Good stuff.
Wait, it gets better.
I met kenan.
Shut up.
You met him? Yeah, I went with my Uncle to the house, you know, when kenan was buying it, and I hung out with him for, like, two hours.
Oh, my God.
Shut up.
That's very cool.
Yeah.
I knew a guy whose dad bought a house and they found a dead woman in one of the closets.
She was blond.
All right.
C'mon, c'mon, more about kenan.
Right.
So I tell him, "man, your house is insane.
"You could have a sick party here.
" And then kenan goes, "so why don't you have one?" A party? What? At his house? Yeah, he's not moving in till next month 'cause he's gonna be in New York, so he said I can have a little party there next Saturday night.
Oh, my gosh.
All of y'all are invited.
I'm not too sure about Rex.
It's gonna be hot, though.
You can't dip french fries in mayonnaise.
Okay.
Why does every Steven.
- Yo-ho.
What are you doing here? I don't get out of school till 3:00.
I know.
Just thought I'd swing by early and say, "hey.
" Aw, hey.
How you guys doing? Good.
I met kenan.
So how is your um, did you just take a pic of me and Tori? Yeparooni.
And what are you gonna do with it? Post it on The Slap, our school website.
I have a whole page with pics of my friends.
It's a small page.
It is not.
Robbie, it's small.
Yeah, listen, could you not post that pic of me and Tori? Sorry, I've got it set to automatically upload pics right after I take 'em.
Why don't you want him to post it? Ah, you know, I'm not having the best hair day.
Oh, here.
Let me fix it.
Ahhh, it's crazy.
Okay.
Hey, Robbie, do you want to take a pic of me for your slap page? No, no, thanks.
Ha.
The geek rejected by a freak that's ironic.
Okay.
You take three oranges.
So what's this game called? Boomba.
Boomba.
Now, I take three.
Who taught you this fruit game? My mom.
Oh, no.
Next, we both face away from each other.
Now what? Boomba! I win.
Good game.
Whatcha doing, kid? Seeing what Carly Carson Steven's last name is Carson? Yes.
You should know that.
I love him.
Carly Carson, it even sounds cute.
Carly and Steven Carson.
Steven and Carly Carson.
Hey, look, here come the carsons.
Aw, they look so cute together.
I just love it.
Wasn't there some actor named Steven Carson? I don't know.
Let me look it up.
And while you're at it, see if you can find out if oranges can crack a spine, 'cause I think they can.
Oh, man up or at least boy up.
You find the actor? No, but I've found something.
Whatcha got? Well, when I typed in Steven Carson, this picture of my Steven came up tagged with his name.
Doyng.
Who's she? She's a girl and don't say "doyng.
" She looks like that shelby Marx chick you fought.
Yeah, but this girl is way hotter.
I didn't say "doyng.
" What website is that? Theslap.
Com.
It's for a performing ar High School in L.
A.
Why would Steven be there with that girl? Maybe they're just friends.
No guy is just friends with a girl like that.
Sam.
Well, if he's cheating on you, better we find out now.
Steven's not a cheater.
As far as you know.
Here, let me see if I can find some more pics of this Tori girl.
Why? So he can stare at her and drool.
I'm researching her.
Oh, yup.
There it is.
Wow.
Oh, guys.
Oh, man.
Look at those cheekbones.
Look it.
Oh, guys.
Oh, she is smoking hot.
I ow.
Boomba.
Is everyone done assaulting me with oranges? Oh, look.
Sam and Freddie are here.
That's different.
So what goes on? Steven's cheating on Carly.
Quit it.
How come Sam thinks he's cheating? I found a picture of him in l.
A.
With some girl.
Quite some girl.
Who is hideous.
Let me see her.
Let me see this girl who whoa.
That is quite a high-resolution monitor.
Oh.
Why are you walking like a bloated zombie? Because I spent five hours wedged in this sculpture trying to glue those radios together.
Aah.
Now my back's all twisted up like a frenchman's pretzel.
Hey, who wants to rub some of this mint thermal cream on old Spencer's back, huh? Pass.
No.
- Uh-uh.
Fine.
I know someone who'd love to do it.
Hey, Gibby.
When all hope is gone, what can we hope for? More hope.
And the comet hits.
No, no, no.
Cut.
Cease acting.
What's the problem? Your screams were unconvincing.
You've got to show real terror.
I thought we were pretty good.
Oh, please.
I've let out fiercer shouts in my bathtub.
But is it just me? They were lame, right? Beck was good.
Oh, Jade.
You're a sour taste, aren't you? Ah, Cat, what did your doctor say? Ooh, a note.
Whoa! Dear Gandhi.
What? What is it? Her doctor's in culver city.
The traffic must've been horrible.
What'd the doctor say is wrong with her? Oh, it says she has vocal nodules.
What are vocal nodules? They're growths on the vocal chords.
It's true.
Shut up! You cannot speak until you are healed or you could damage your vocal chords permanently and never sing again.
This is a lovely color, by the way, like a red velvet cupcake.
Sit, Cat.
Okay.
Where were we? Ah, you were saying our acting was terrible.
Oh, yes, indeed.
But not all your acting, just the fear.
Okay.
So how do we do it better? Easy.
Think back to a time your life when you experienced real fear, true terror.
Then let the memory of that emotion bubble up into your acting.
Does it count if you've caused true terror? I don't think I've every felt true terror.
Hmm.
Then I'll have to work on that.
Why are you laughing like that? That poster of ducks playing poker, I just noticed it.
And so accompanying Lewis and Clark on their trailblazing expedition across the Western United States Hey, shay, puckett, are you texting in my class? Yeah.
Bring your phones up here, right now.
Move it.
I want you to read your text messages out loud to the whole class or I will.
Just deal with the fact that Steven might be cheating on you.
Will you stop saying that? I love him.
And then I typed colon, p.
That means she stuck her tongue out.
I know all about colon p.
What? What? What's so funny about colon p? You need to stop.
You're killing me.
Hey, Andre.
What's up? Will we get to meet kenan at the party? There's no party at kenan's house.
Kenan who? You guys can't come.
Yeah, we can.
It's an open invite.
Says who? Rex.
Rex? Read the tweet.
See you at the party.
No, no.
No, you're not invited to the party that I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm gonna squish a puppet.
You're right.
You're so right.
Absolutely.
What's happening here? What are you doing home from school? There was a gas leak, so they let everyone go home early.
Who are these ladies? They're, uh they're This is my book club.
Your book club? Okay.
Everybody go home.
I think we're done for today.
Thank you.
All right.
This was fun.
Yes, it was fun.
Everybody have their purses? - Bye, Spencer - thank you.
Bye-bye.
Bye, Spencer.
- Okay.
Thanks a lot.
Uh-huh.
So how was school? I wanna talk about Steven, who's not cheating on me.
The Nile is not just a River in Utah.
Egypt.
Give me 10 minutes online and I bet I can prove.
Steven's cheating on you.
There's nothing wrong with being in a book club.
I know.
It's just not the manliest thing in the world.
It is too manly.
Oh no.
Nancy forgot her makeup pouch.
Nancy! Nancy! Cat.
Hey, Cat.
I got it.
Did you download that app I told you to get, speechy keen? Good.
Fire it up.
Okay.
This headband has a speaker in it that works via Bluetooth.
So while you're on vocal rest, you just wear this on your head.
Here, let me turn it on.
Now, hit speak then type anything.
Anything.
Very funny.
Last night, my brother bit my foot.
Well, I don't need to know everything.
Soup.
Robbie Shapiro! Don't move.
- Uh-oh.
He sounds mad.
Don't be so nervous.
I'm not nervous.
I felt your hand tense up.
You tweeted about the party at kenan's house.
No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did.
I'm looking at the tweet right here.
I didn't tweet about the party.
I did.
Rex? I told you not to tell anybody.
I had to get the word out to my northridge girls.
Oh, man.
I'm really sorry.
And believe me, I'm gonna be having a really Frank talk with Rex when we get home.
Aw, man.
You're a you're a nut.
He's really mad.
But he's got beautiful skin.
Oh.
Oh, I must've really wrenched my back.
Gibby, are you sure you don't mind doing this? Mind? Yeahhh.
Will you just admit that you're not gonna find any evidence that Steven's cheating on me? Okay.
First, I learned a long time ago, never admit anything, and, no, I didn't find any specific evidence that Steven's cheating on you.
Ha! Say "ha.
" Ha! But if Steven is cheating on you, I got a way to catch him.
How? Gather 'round, children.
Come, gather 'round mama.
Just let it out.
Okay.
The question: Is Steven, a.
K.
A.
Carly's boyfriend, cheating on Carly with this chick, Tori Vega? No, he's not.
Dude, I'm He told me I'm one of a kind.
Yes.
And my dad once told my mom he was coming back.
So moving on.
This pic was posted on theslap.
Com, a site for a High School called Hollywood arts in Los Angeles.
A mutual friend of Tori's, some kid named Rex, whose profile pic, for some reason, shows an urban puppet, he tweeted yesterday about a big party that's going on this Saturday night at Kenan Thompson's house in Hollywood.
The famous Kenan Thompson? Oh, gee.
I don't know.
It could be Kenan Thompson the butt doctor.
Oh, not there, not there.
Right there.
Who cares about all this? You do 'cause since this Rex dude's going to that party, and one of Rex's top friends is this Tori chick, then we can assume that Tori's gonna be at the party too.
And if she is dating Steven, I'll bet you a truckload of fat cakes Steven will be at that party with Tori.
And if they are? How do you know they're not just friends? Hmm, read Tori's latest status update.
So pumped for Saturday night, bringing the bf.
Bf means boyfriend.
Thank you, Freddie.
We thought it meant big finger.
All right.
So now what? We are gonna make Spencer drive us to L.
A.
And we are gonna crash that party and see for ourselves if Steven's a cheater.
Or not.
Hey, if I really have to drive you guys to L.
A.
, can Gibby come? He's got the hands of a goddess.
I am here for you, buddy.
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks, Socko.
All right, everybody.
Socko just dropped off the van, so let's hit the road.
L.
A.
is a long drive.
Yep.
We're just gonna crash that party, bust Steven for cheating on Carly - Or we find out he's innocent.
Everyone's innocent 'til proven cheaty.
- Whoa-oh.
Wait.
Wait, wait wait.
Guys, I just realized something.
Me too.
There are no yellow foods.
What about corn? Bananas.
Squash.
Butter.
Lemons.
So what do you realize? The party, what if people there recognize us from icarly? Oh, man.
You're right.
We can't spy on Steven if everyone's coming up to us going, "yo, you're from icarly.
"What's wrong with that Gibby kid?" I got it.
My ex-girlfriend, monie, lives in L.
A.
She does special effects makeup for movies and tv shows.
You think she could make me, Sam and Freddie look different enough not to get recognized? Sure.
She does Hasselhoff.
Cool.
Hamburguesa.
I'll just call her on the way.
Yellow peppers.
Tori, Tori, you have to talk to Andre for me.
What about? He's gotta change the date of his party at Kenan Thompson's house.
The party's tomorrow.
I know.
But lane asked me to babysit his stupid friend's kid, so I said yes.
So when I heard about the party, I tried to bail but lane won't let me out of it.
Stupid lane.
Why does lane need you to babysit? He and his friend are gonna see macgruber the musical.
The musical? Ust tell Andre to move the party to next week.
It's too late to change it, and kenan said he could only have the house tomorrow night anyway.
Oh, I hate everything.
Can you make us look totally different? Completely unrecognizable? Yeah, easy.
When's the party? Tonight.
I can get it done by then.
Awesome.
Thanks.
Oh, monie, I really appreciate you doing this.
It doesn't mean I'm not still angry with you.
C'mon, we broke up six years ago.
You shattered my heart, and my leg.
I didn't see you behind my car.
Just drop it.
Carly, have a seat.
I'll get the makeup ready.
I thought stephanie was the ex-girlfriend you backed over.
That was before monie.
So, wait, you backed a car over two girlfriends? I'm not the best driver.
Whoa.
Check this place out.
This is sick.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
This house is hug.
Hug? Huge.
Yo, dre.
Yo, what's up? You ain't telling me kenan's house was sweatin' diamonds.
I know, right? Oh, mustang, this is Tori, Steven, Cat and Robbie.
Yo.
Hello.
What's going on? I believe someone forgot to introduce someone.
And that's Rex.
Downtown.
Back around.
Oh, mustang's gonna be spinning tracks tonight.
Stricka stricka Straight up.
Stricka stricka Straight up.
I wanted to do it too.
I'm gonna go back over there.
Oh, let's go pick a place.
A place for what? - For our 100-day kiss tonight at midnight.
Mm, it's gonna be good.
- Mm-hmm.
Can I watch? No.
I'll give you 20 bucks.
No, you weirdo.
You have no idea.
You guys ready? Ready.
Let's see them.
Freddie.
Who's Freddie? My name is chess Masterson.
Oh my God.
- Uh-huh.
Man.
Yeah.
So if you guys didn't know I was me, would you recognize me? No way.
She made you really good-looking.
Sam.
Don't call me Sam.
Tonight, I'm Regina goodbody.
Unreal.
Carly.
I was once Carly.
But now, I'm the hideous Patty schwab.
Oh, no.
Patty schwab ate my sister.
I did apologize for backing over you with my car, right? All right.
We better get to the party.
Yep.
Agreed.
Let's go.
Hey, wait a sec.
I'm on icarly a lot.
What if people recognize me at the party? Oh, yeah.
Do you have anything for Gibby? There and there.
This is it? Can't I get, like, a mole or something? Yeah, I can give you a mole.
There.
Okay.
Yes.
And your name can be Roger.
Yeah.
Roger.
Roger mole.
Hey, hey.
Oh, there's already too many people in here.
Hey.
What? We were making time with those northridge girls, man.
See what your tweet did? Kenan told me I could have a small party, and there's gotta be at least a hundred people here already.
Rex tweeted it.
Yeah, that's right.
If Robbie had tweeted it, nobody would be here 'cause he only has, like, 13 followers.
Rex.
Hey, Andre.
What, sinjin? There's a guy here who crashed the party.
Yeah.
But this guy's wearing a panda bear suit, and he's running around with a tennis racket swatting people on the butt.
Man, I don't have time for jokes.
- But I'm - Go.
Whoosh.
What am I supposed to say to kenan if he finds out about all these people here? Kenan's in New York, so why don't you relax the yap? Everything's fine.
You need to chill out.
Hey, somebody grab that panda.
Hey! Andre got whacked by a panda.
Tori, look.
It's me.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, sista sista.
How are you here? I thought you were supposed to be babysitting some kids for lane.
Yeah.
I am.
Here they are.
That's Wilson, and that's Vanessa.
Mabel.
Mabel.
You can't bring these little kids to a party like this.
What can happen? They're on a leash.
I think it's great.
Lane said you could bring them here? No.
They should be in bed.
Don't be a downer.
Come on, kids.
Let's go mingle.
Please, help us.
Cat, Cat.
Hi, Andre.
This is an awesome party.
Yeah.
Listen, have you seen a panda bear about this tall with a tennis racket? He's dangerous.
Ah.
Fool.
Can you see? Oh, all right.
That's all.
Hey, stop that panda.
Hey.
Hey, Andre.
There's a panda bear with a tennis racket sneaking up behind you.
Did you find one? Yeah.
Right out back, and it's huge.
What are you guys talking about? A jacuzzi.
Oh, you brought a swimsuit? - Uh-huh.
Jade loves jacuzzis.
Sometimes I pretend I've been captured by witches and they're using me to make human soup.
I'm sure you'd be delicious.
Yeah, I doubt it.
I would've brought a swimsuit if I had known.
It's me with a trumpet.
Why? You scared the pee out of me.
Remember earlier this week in class, your terrible attempts at acting terrified? Well, I'm helping you to experience real fear that you can use as actors.
So I really scared you? Yes.
I peed.
Bravo.
Beck? Sorry.
He's unscareable.
C'mon.
Let's go change and hit the jacuzzi so I can pretend to be soup.
Okay.
Jacuzzi, my favorite Italian word for hot watery bubbling.
Ooh.
And the joke is on you it's a dream it's a scene and it's all brand new if you think you can't stop then the joke is on you you guys see Steven? Nope.
- Uh-uh.
Do you see him? No.
I see a giant panda bear with a tennis racket.
Hollywood, man.
Hello, there.
Hey.
I'm Roger.
Hi, there, Roger.
I like your mole.
Yeah, you do.
That mole is really working for him.
Yep.
Effective mole.
Come on.
We really look hideous.
Oh, yes.
It's disturbing.
Hideous.
Go! Go! Go! Come on! Okay.
We gotta split up and try to find Steven.
Your cheating boyfriend.
Innocent 'til proven cheaty.
Continue.
Okay.
Sam, you and Freddie look on that side of the house and upstairs.
I'll take this side.
Spencer and Gibby, you - Roger.
You all got the super-cool makeup and everything.
I think the least you guys can do is call me Roger.
Okay, Roger.
Spencer, you and Roger check in the kitchen and the backyard.
Roger.
What? No, no.
I didn't mean it like that.
I meant like Roger that, you know how they do in the movies sometimes? Stop it.
Freddie.
If you see Steven, do not engage.
Do not engage.
Contact the rest of us via text message so we can all converge at point Steven.
See, that's the kind of talk that makes me wanna hit him.
Whatever.
Okay.
Are you guys ready? Roger is.
Shut up.
Hey, did anyone see a large panda bear with a tennis racket run in here? Hey, dude.
What? Oh, hey.
Okay.
If Steven and I ever get married and have babies, don't you think they'd be way cuter if they look like him? No.
You have way prettier eyes than me.
No.
But you have a prettier mouth.
And you have a prettier mouth.
We talked about this.
No.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
Put the lamp down.
Have some respect for Kenan Thompson's lamp.
All right.
You guys put the lamp down.
I'll handle the panda.
Man.
Someday, I would love to have a house like this.
Probably wanna get a job then.
Nah.
Oh, baby.
Dude, jacuzzi.
You should get up in that.
Get up in it now? For your sore back, hot water, pulsing jets fix you right up, says Roger.
Yeah, why not? I don't think anybody would mind if Hey, what happened to your mole? Oh, crud, my mole's gone.
It must've fallen off in the house.
Well, I gotta find it.
How are you gonna find a tiny mole in that big house? Hey, Gibby, wait.
I'm Roger.
I'm coming, mole! This way, kids.
Hi, Cat.
Cool party, huh? Hey, trina.
Cute headband.
Hey, so you like kids, right, yeah? Watch these for me.
Hi, kids.
My name is Cat.
Sorry, I'm talking this way.
I have a severe throat infection.
Do you have any retro music? Like the Spice kirls? Whatever happened to baby Spice? Look, you seem like a nice kid, but you make me sick.
You irritate everybody.
Why do you always have to I'm sorry.
If I could've come here by myself, I would've.
Just calm down.
Shut up, samberg.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Chill out.
Don't bust a vessel.
I'm gonna call my boys, have 'em bring me some backup.
'Til then, who wants to take the mic and throw some rhymes freestyle? It's a great idea.
Here Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ah.
Throw me a zesty beat.
All right.
Okay.
Yeah, okay all right, now put your hands up pu pu put your hands up everyone in Kenan Thompson's crib put your hands up c'mon uh, uh, uh you knowwhen an artist says to put your hands up, the polite thing to do is Yeah.
I realize Robbie was bad, but was it necessary to throw that plant at him? Who threw the plant? C'mon, now.
Who's next? I'll take a SWAT.
No, no.
I'm not letting no puppet Baa, baa, baa Just bust a beat.
Yeah, freestyle.
Ah, yeah.
Ha, Rex powers, yeah ha, I'm going in ha, yeah, thanks, Robbie.
your rap was pretty sloppy now, let Rex flex and I'll be sure to rock the party who's the best freestyling emcee? they better mention me but I don't freestyle rap for free.
you better pay my fee try and test my skills, man who you be? look dope rap up in the dictionary and you'll see a picture of me that's what's up.
Oh, this is a nice time.
Oh, oh, oh, thank you, Kenan Thompson.
Oh, my back feels better already.
Who are you? I'm spu Nice to meet you, spu.
They call me sikowitz.
Right.
Oh, why did you do that to me? Oh.
See, I'm an acting teacher at Hollywood arts High School, and I'm trying to scare one of my student, Beck, so he'll understand what true terror feels like.
You almost made me die.
Oh.
Here comes Beck.
Don't give me away.
There's someone in it.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey there.
Cool if we join you? Oh, sure.
Jusmeme in here.
Hey, look out, please.
Did anyone see a panda bear with a tennis racket? Hey, Andre.
Grandma, what are you doing at this party? Rex tweeted about it.
Where's Kenan Thompson? Grandma, please go home.
Okay, Andre.
Beck.
Jade.
So you're not gonna be in here long, are you, 'cause we really No.
Well, did I terrify you? No, not really.
You're a tough nut to crack, my friend.
One tough nut.
Yes, sir.
You'll be fine.
No.
Hey.
You haven't seen Steven? No.
And I've been looking everywhere.
Is Sam looking? Sort of.
She's looking at a bowl of onion dip.
Hey, did you find Steven in the onion dip? Don't sass me.
Look, maybe Steven's not even at this party.
Well, that'd be great, 'cause then maybe he's not cheating on Excuse me.
Hi.
Carly.
Did you see a girl around here about this tall, brown hair? No, I no, no, not really.
I'm Patty schwab.
Hey.
Oh, wait.
I see her.
Carls, you there? Subject spotted.
I just saw Steven.
Where? Ssshh, things are happening.
I wanted to give you this.
Steven, you nut ball.
A charm bracelet.
A charm bracelet.
Yeah, it's one of a kind, like you.
Okay.
That hurt.
That wounded me.
Oh my God.
It's beautiful.
I love you.
I love you too.
And that killed me.
Now I'm dead.
And then she goes, "a charm bracelet?" And then he goes, "yeah.
It's one of a kind, like you.
" Isn't that, like, the exact same thing he said to you? Exact.
And I think he even gave her the exact same charm bracelet.
You were right.
Go ahead.
Say you told me so.
I told you so.
Dude.
Well, I did.
Oh, here.
Thanks.
Ow.
This napkin has salsa on it.
- I had some ta-key-toes.
Taquitos! I'll be back.
Wait.
Where you going? To teach Steven a lesson for making you cry.
Oh, Freddie.
Thanks.
But you can't just go beat him up.
He deserves it.
I know.
But you're nerdy.
Steven would pound you silly.
Your flow was just bad so I'm gonna help you so look here's your homework go read my rhyme book yeah, yeah, props to the challenger, now, it's to you, Rex.
Pump the beat.
Kiddies, kiddies pay attention mc Rex is rapping so class is in session you better take notes if you wanna survive 'cause you couldn't earn a dime with them weak, old rhymes.
I'll battle anybody, name your time or place.
I'll be running circles 'round you like a relay race I'm so nice on this mic when I take control I'll flip your hat backwards like a California roll.
oh.
You just got powned, puppet style.
Cat, give me the kids.
I need to get them back to lane's before he gets home.
Where are the kids? It seems they have escaped.
You mean you don't know where the kids are? No.
But I think it's important that you find them quickly.
I'm looking for a mole, a mole.
Where are you, mole? Hey, blondie.
Have you seen a mole on the floor anywhere? A mole? Yeah.
About yea big, cocoa brown.
No way.
You're that kid from iCarly.
Com.
No.
No, no.
No, I'm not.
Wait, wait, wait.
Gibby! No, no.
I'm Roger.
Hey, guys.
Get in here.
It's Gibby from iCarly.
Com.
Dude, you're gonna blow my cover.
I got Gibby right here from iCarly dot Sorry I had to do that, man.
No.
I think she should do it.
Yeah.
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't.
The guy's a total jerk.
I agree Steven's a jerk, and we need to teach him a lesson, but I'm not gonna let Sam give him a royal fizz-bin.
Well, can I at least give him a regular fizz-bin? No.
Yo, Steven.
Hi, have any of you seen a guy Whoa.
No, way! You're iCarly! Hi.
Hello.
Hey.
Oh my God.
You have no idea how in love I am with your Web show.
No.
But I know how in love you are with my boyfriend.
What do you mean I'm in love with your boyfriend? It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm in love with your boyfriend, so we're kind of even.
Whoa.
Wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
Are we talking about my Steven? Your Steven, my Steven.
He's been a busy boy.
Are you gonna knuckle down on this chick? I brought the butter sock.
It's not her fault.
We're both victims.
Yeah, but I mean I'm not gonna beat her with a sock full of butter! She wants you to hurt me with butter? Yeah.
Do you see the little children? Yes.
Fantastic.
Wipeout.
Hey, I would've had 10,000 but there's something wrong with the board Springs.
Right.
Board Springs.
My turn.
Sinjin.
Set it to expert.
C'mon.
C'mon.
And he even gave us both the exact same charm bracelet.
Oh, when he gave you yours, did he say, "it's one of a kind just like you?" Oh! Uh! At least he had mine engraved, "to Carly" and yours "to Tori.
" Yeah.
At least wait.
Mine says, "to Topi.
" He didn't even notice they got the engraving wrong.
Unless he's dating a third girl named Topi.
Too soon? Okay.
Now, that we all know Steven's a stinkin' cheater, let's talk about revenge.
Once again, I offer the butter sock.
We don't just wanna hurt Steven.
We don't? No.
Oh.
We need to make sure he never does this to any other girls.
Yeah.
Hey, there's, like, 200 people at this party.
What if we expose Steven in front of everybody here? Yeah.
We put him in front of the whole party, yank his pants down, get some hot sauce.
That's not what I meant.
She means expose him for being a liar and a cheater.
Yeah.
You like it? - Mm-hmm.
But let's not just expose him in front of a couple hundred people.
How about more, like, a million? What? Oh, c'mon.
I wanna be a part of your icarly unspoken communication.
How are we getting back at Steven? Topi wanna know.
No more people.
Hey, hey.
Hey, now.
There's already too many people in here.
Now, kenan said I could have a small party, all right? Now, I want you out of here.
I definitely want you out of here.
I want you out of here, and I want oh.
C'mon, man.
Let me stay.
Have a giraffe.
You bought me a giraffe? Okay.
Well, yo, listen, it's kind of crazy in here.
Andre, Andr why are you buggin'? 'Cause you said I could have a small party.
Well, yeah, but not this small.
I mean, where is everybody? But there's, like, 200 people here.
Okay, look.
A small party means, like, Look at those girls.
Those have gotta be northridge girls.
Hey, how ya' doing? Oh, you can tell by just how they - So you're not mad.
No, I'm not mad.
Kiss your giraffe, would you? Man, doesn't that feel better? Feels good.
Feel better already, hey? That's right.
The panda? You let the panda in my house? No.
I've been trying to get rid of the you know the panda? Man, that freak panda bear has been showing up around me for three years now.
My house, my health club, my trip to acapulco.
It's why I bought this new house.
Hey, who gave the panda my new address? No, I don't know.
Nobody knows nothing.
Okay.
You know what? I want somebody to catch that panda and wrestle him to the ground and call the police or animal control or something.
Ouch.
He did it again.
Oh, I'm gonna slam that panda.
C'mon.
Where's my baseball bat? I don't know.
Where? That closet right there.
At midnight, he's expecting us to have our 100-day kiss.
Okay, okay.
That's perfect.
So you just Hey! Oh! Hey, where'd the panda go? No way.
Kenan Thompson.
You're kenan.
Oh my God.
Yes, he's famous.
Where'd the panda go? We don't know.
Oh, man.
How does that funky panda keep escaping my grasp? Icarly from the Internet.
Yeah, yeah.
You know us? Well, yeah, I watch icarly online all the time.
Hey, where's the little peculiar kid, uh, jibby? Well, I know you're not from northridge.
- Uh, un-uh.
Hey, kenan.
I know we just met and everything, but would you maybe wanna help us out with something? There it is, you see that? There it is right there.
Why does everybody wanna borrow money from me? I mean, you guys, Andy Samberg, half the original cast of all that.
Oh, I used to love that show.
Your cheekbones are like perfect little sugar plums.
No, no, no, no.
We don't wanna borrow money.
Now, wait a second.
Okay.
Sam, Sam.
Would you help us get revenge on a really bad guy? The panda? No! Her boyfriend.
Steven? Who's also her boyfriend.
Which we just found out.
No money.
No money.
Just revenge.
Just revenge.
Tell me more.
Okay.
Last fourth of July, we took her down to the Oh, hang on.
Text from Tori.
Ooh, time for a 100-day kiss.
Late - Happy 100-day anniversary.
Are you ready for this? Are you ready for this? Hi, Steven.
He thought he was gonna get a kiss from a pretty girl, but instead, I blew a trumpet in his face.
Ha! Punk.
Wait.
What is this? This is icarly.
Yeah, and that is my ex-boyfriend, Steven.
Ex? - He's also her ex-boyfriend.
Ex? Yes, ex, meaning not anymore.
See, Stephen used to have two girlfriends At the same time.
Me and her.
Steven's a cheater.
And a liar.
But now, Stephen's got no girlfriend.
And might never get one again.
Yeah, because now all y'all women out there know that Steven is a chizzy-wazz skunk-bag.
Wait, this is live on icarly? - Uh-huh.
But don't worry.
Only, like, a million people are watching.
Yeah, so it's not like your whole life's over.
Oh, wait.
It kinda is.
You know what? Bye, Steven.
Random humiliation.
Hang on, sinjin.
Here comes the big wave.
I'm gonna do it.
Huh? Jacuzzzzzzzzzzi! Sinjin? We're in the middle of a game! Okay.
Back to you.
All right, y'all.
I'll say that makes Rex the number one baddest freestyler at this party.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait, wait.
Chuck me a stick.
Unless I'm tripping, I do believe we got the icarly crew at this gig fresh off the Internet.
Sam, right? - Uh-huh.
And you're calling out Rex.
- Mm-hmm.
Mama gonna take a puppet down.
Whaaaaaat up? He doesn't like to be called a puppet.
Nah, nah, nah.
It's cool.
It's cool.
But let's see if you can beat this puppet, puckett.
Yeah, I'm hot but I ain't taking this back 'cause everybody knows that chicks can't rap I'm so cool I make thermometers drop, but with my lyrics so hot I make thermometers pop 'cause, me, I always get things poppin', and you should stick to shopping I've had them better but they all came and went face it Sam, you're the opening act and I'm the main event your turn, laverne.
Back up, Shirley.
All right.
Puck, puck, puckett up.
Yeah oh, how cute a little rappin' puppet psyche.
you're more like a rejected muppet but I'm so famous you can find my name in a blog but not you, homey Rex is a name of a dog move over, hippies you expect my respect want me to think you the bomb when you get all your clothes at tweenpants.
Com yeah, yeah, well too bad, little Rex, all I can say is, "sorry, Charlie," 'cause your freestyling ain't nothing compared to icarly.
they all heard you rapping and they was like mehhh and then I showed up and everybody's like yeah! So face it, Rex, you couldn't even rap if I stapled his lips and took his hand out your back oh.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah! All right.
I'm somewhat offended, but I admit, momma's got rhyme.
There goes the panda.
Oh, the panda stole my baseball bat.
Thank you.
Y'all are northridge girls, aren't you? Yeah.
Panda! Was that kenan? Yes.
Kenan! Kenan! Kenan, wait up.
Lane! This is how you babysit? Well I was driving home, looked out my window and found them asleep by some trash cans.
Well What kind of babysitter would allow two small children to just wander around the streets? You know this one needs medication.
Hey, look what's up.
The backup rig has just arrived and it's online.
So who's up for a little bit of karaoke? Yay! I love karaoke.
Cat.
What? Shh.
Your doctor said you weren't supposed to talk.
He didn't say I couldn't sing well, all right.
Hey, icarly, why don't you throw us into gear? All right.
What song? Trust me.
I'm gonna spin one that everybody knows.
I know you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful here I am once again feeling lost but now and then live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there and feel so wonderful when you figure out how you're lost in the moment you disappear it's all for real I'm telling you just how I feel you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction wake up the members of my nation it's your time to be not a fantasy just remember me just remember me when it turns out right 'cause there's no chance unless you take one and the time to see that if you live in your imagination tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination see the brighter side of every situation in my victory just remember me when I make it shine leave it all to me leave it all to me when I make it shine leave it all to me when you live in your imagination when I make it shine leave it make it leave it make it leave it make it leave it when I make it shine just leave it all to me .