Moonlighting s04e10 Episode Script
Tracks of My Tears
So Come Walk The Night Come Fly By Day Something Is Sweeter 'cause We Met On The Way We'll Walk By Night We'll Fly By Day Moonlighting Strangers Who Just Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way Captioning Made Possible By Lions Gate Home Entertainment Agnes! Miss Hayes! [Beep Beep.]
Darn, I'm Supposed To Be On The Filing Right Now.
Welcome.
Sorry, Miss H.
Just No Time To Welcome You Back Right Now.
Sure, I Can See You're Very Busy.
I Understand.
SoHowWas YourStay InChiCaGo? ItWasFine.
Fine.
But You Can Go Ahead With What You're Doing.
We Can Talk Later.
I Just Came In Early To Get My Bearings.
You Know, I Figured No One Would Be In Yet.
And I Could Be Alone WithBeing Here Before Anyone Got In.
But Here You AreIn.
Here I Am In.
Why Are You Here-- I Mean In-- At 6:00, Agnes? Oh, I Always Come In This EarlyNow.
Now? Mr.
Addison Wanted Me Here In The Morning So We Could Do The Billing Together Before The Business Day Starts.
Mr.
Addison Comes In This Early? Every Day.
He's Here? Miss Hayes, Things Have Changed Here.
Mr.
Addison's Really Turned Over A Gigantic New Leaf.
He Has? He's New And Improved.
He's Straighter And Narrower.
He's Altered His State.
And It's All Because Of You, Miss Hayes.
Your Influence Has Made Him A Whole New Guy.
Morning, David.
Well, I'll Be Darned.
It's Goldilocks.
Where's David? Where's David? He's Right Here.
Does A Bear Have Fur? Does Water Turn To Ice When You Freeze It? See? Same Fella.
New Priorities.
Husbandhood.
Fatherhood.
But Still The Same Old Heckraiser.
[Dog Barks.]
Quiet Down, Sport.
Let's Show Maddie Your New Trick, Huh? Foot.
See, Sport Wants To Shake.
Is It All Right With Sport If We Shake Later? I'm Feeling A Little Worn Out.
What Am I Thinking About? Let's Get Off Your Feet, Mommy.
Sit Down.
Now Got Some Great News For You.
Yeah? Yep.
Sold The House.
What House? Your House.
What Do You Mean You Sold My House? Well, For Pete's Sake, Dear, We Can't Raise Little Baby Addison Around That Crazy Staircase In Your Old House.
I Guess We Can't.
Right.
Now Wait Till You See The Ponderosa I Bought Us.
That's A Good, Honest 4 Walls To Raise The Little Dickens In.
Single Story.
None Of That Artsy Stuff.
Plenty Of Room Around The Back For A Swingset.
Space For The Wee One To Stretch.
Boy, It's Good To See You, Hon, But As Usual, I I've Got Another Case That Needs Some Cracking.
Interesting Case? You Betcha.
This Girl Walked In The Office, Hired Me To Find Her Grandmother's Brooch Which The Client Believes She Lost At The School Dance.
But The Kicker Is, She Wasn't Supposed To Have Borrowed That Pin To Begin With.
Now She's Worried That Her Grandmom's Gonna Be Really Sad About Her Losing It.
Oh, What A Tangled Web We Weave.
Anyways I Gotta Run Over To The High School Auditorium Where The Granddaughter Thinks She Lost The Brooch.
While I'm Gone, Why Don't You Lie On The Couch Or Something, Just Take A Nap? You Seem Sort Of Discombobulated.
Great To Have You Back, Hon.
It's Great To Be Back.
A-Wop Bob A-Loo Bop A-Lop Bop Bop Tooty-Fruity, Oh, Rooty Woo [Train Whistle Blowing.]
Man: Aah! [Thud.]
God-- Are You All Right? Yeah, Just Find My Driver's License And Tell Me Who I Am.
I'm So Sorry.
I Know I Shouldn't Have Left That Tray In The Hall, But I Couldn't Help It, I Couldn't Stand Looking At The Food.
Oh, No, No, No, It's Not Your Fault.
I'm Just Surprised The Porter Didn't-- Let Me Help You.
I'm Sorry.
Don't You Do Anything.
I'll Take Care Of Everything.
You Shouldn't Be Bending Over.
Aah! That'll Cure The Amnesia.
Maybe I Should Go Get A Porter.
No, No, No, No.
My Compartment Is Right Next Door, Here, Let Me Just-- [Crunch.]
Oh, No.
That's Ok.
Don't Worry About It.
I Don't Know What I Can Say.
I Have A Spare Pair.
Is There Anything I Can Do? There's Nothing To Do.
I'm Fine, Just Fine.
Thank You Very Much.
I'm Fine.
Are You Sure You Can See Without Your Glasses? They're Just For Reading.
Would You Like Some Gravy With That? No, Thank You.
[Door Closes.]
Agnes: Yikes.
Uncle Sam.
Hello? Is This Miss Hayes' Mother? This Is Agnes Dipesto From The Agency.
I Need To Find Out What To Do With Her Irs Stuff.
Oh.
Can You Leave A Message That I Called? She Is? She Will? I Can? I Can.
I Can Give It To Her Myself.
Thanks.
Ok.
Bye.
That Ridiculous Smile On Your Face Wouldn't Have Anything To Do With Last Night, Would It? No.
Oh.
Ha Ha Ha! It's Better Than That.
Better? It's Better Than Better.
It's Betterest! Agnes, What's Wrong With You? Nothing's Wrong With Me.
Agnes, I've Always Admired Your Sunny Disposition, But This Is Bordering On Sunstroke.
It's Miss Hayes.
She's Coming Home.
Home? Here? Yeah.
Both: Mr.
Addison! Did You Tell Him? No, Should We Tell Him? Helen Of Troy Comes Home, You Want To Keep It A Secret? If She Wanted Him To Know, Why Didn't She Call? Maybe It's A Surprise.
You Could Be Right.
Agnes, You And I Have Jumped Into This Game More Than Once To Keep Those Two From Folding, But Maybe This Time We Should Just Stand Back And Let Destiny Play Out His Hand.
Hi, Kids.
What's Up? You Two Split A Canary Club Sandwich? Great News.
Great, Great News.
We Just Found Out.
I'm All Ears.
You'll Never Guess.
I Give Up.
She's Coming Home.
Lassie? Miss Hayes.
Maddie.
Miss Hayes? Maddie's Coming Home? Home.
Home.
Here.
Soon.
That's Great, When Did She Call, Was I Out? Well, Yeah, Kind Of.
Well, Yeah, Kind Of? Well, Yeah, Sort Of.
Kind Of, Sort Of Well, What's Up, I Mean, Did She Call Or Didn't She Call? Wait A Second, Why Dwell On The Messenger When The Message Is Such Good News? She's On A Train Headed This Way.
She's Coming Back, Bigger And Better Than Ever.
Answer My Question.
If She Didn't Call, How'd You Know She's Coming Home? I Called There.
Her Mother Answered.
She Told Me.
She's Coming Home, But She Couldn't Be Bothered To Call Me.
That's Great.
Maybe She Wanted To Surprise Us.
Well, I'm Surprised.
If She Comes In, Buzz Me.
If I'm Not Too Busy, I'll Stick My Head Out And Say Hi.
Maddie, Guess Who Davey Junior Just Mentioned In His Now I Lay Me's.
Tookie.
Tookie? That Imaginary Friend Of His.
Little Davey Was Afraid Tookie Wouldn't Play Make-Believe Anymore.
So You Know What I Told Him? What? I Said, "Son, If You Want A Friend, Be One.
" Good Advice.
I Thought So.
Used It In My Breakfast Speech To The Rotary Club This Morning.
Honey, Have You Seen My Pepto-- Wait A Minute.
Here It Is.
Yeah.
I Have A Little Touch Of The Businessman's Butterflies.
Want Some? No, Thanks.
Pink And Yummy Nice For The Tummy.
David, Do You Ever Think About What Makes You Happy? Happy? Only 26 Years And 4 Months And We Can Rip Up The Mortgage.
That Makes Me Happy.
Being Married To You Makes Me Happy.
Really? Really.
Maddie, If We Hadn't Gotten Married, I Might Not Have Ever Settled Down.
Because Of You, I'm A Totally Different Person.
Yeah.
I Know.
Well Nightie Night Night.
David.
Hmm? Do You Find Me I Mean, Do You Still Feel Passionate About Me? What Man Wouldn't Be Passionate About A Woman As Soft And Lovely As You? Really? You Mean That? Yes, Indeed.
Well, Then, David, Look At Me And Tell Me That.
Whoa! Maddie.
You Scalawag.
Wait A Minute.
It's 8:30.
It's Almost Bedtime.
Hey, Maybe--Maybe We Should Wait Till Next Sunday You Know, When The Kids Are At Disneyland.
Yeah.
Maybe.
You Better Hop Under The Covers.
You're Gonna Catch Your Death Of Cold In That Thing.
I Don't Know, David.
Being Married To You Is Not What I Thought It'd Be.
I'm Not Complaining.
You're A Model Husband Hard-Working, Responsible, A Doting Parent.
Pillar Of The Community.
You've Made A Lovely Childproof Home Here For Me And The Kids.
Lots Of Cozy Corners, Big Yard, Swings, An Olympic-Size Sandbox.
You've Done Great.
Better Than Great, David.
You're Ideal.
But, David You're Not The Same Person As The Man I Used To Know, And I'm Not Sure I Like The Change.
Don't Hate Me For Saying This, It's Not Your Fault.
It's My Fault.
You Just Gave Me What I Asked For.
David, Let's Sleep Outside Tonight.
We Could Put Our Blankets On The Lawn And Make Love In The Moon [Snoring.]
Light.
I Didn't Think You'd Come.
It's What You Wanted, Isn't It? So Which David Do You Want Me, Or That Jar Of Mayonnaise You Call A Husband? You'd Better Go.
I Need You.
I Need This.
David? David? David? Hello.
Hi.
Oh.
Do You Mind If I Join You For Dinner? Well, I, Um Only If I'm Not Imposing.
No, No, Not At All.
Is It Safe? I Left My Hard Hat Back In The Compartment.
I'll Try To Be On My Best Behavior.
I'm Walter Bishop.
Maddie Hayes.
Oh, I'm Sorry.
No Big Deal.
I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me.
I Guess I Just Don't Feel Much Like A Ballerina These Days.
Did I Get You? No, You Just Missed.
I Feel Terrible About This And About What Happened Yesterday.
Yesterday Was At Least But I Stepped On Your Glasses.
Well, I Was Due For A New Prescription Anyway.
Good Evening, Cecil.
Good Evening, Mr.
Bishop.
Will You Be Having A Cocktail? I'll Have The Usual, And The Lady-- Nothing For Me, Thank You.
You Seem Pretty At Home Here.
I Have To Be In Chicago A Couple Of Times A Month, And I'm One Of Those People Who Doesn't Believe That It Is Possible For A Man To Fly.
I Call It The Myth Of Aviation.
What? I'm Sorry.
It's Just That You Look So Silly.
I Couldn't Find My Other Pair, I Must've Left Them In L.
A.
I'm Terrible, It's Bad Enough That I Broke Them In The First Place.
You Have To Let Me Buy You Another Pair When We Get Back To California.
Deal? Deal.
So, A Systems Analyst Is Someone Who Analyzes Systems.
Oh.
I Have A Remarkable Grasp Of The Obvious.
This Is Pretty Boring, Isn't It-- Is That What You Do? No.
I Have Analyzed Some Systems, But I Write, I Consult, I Lecture, But Mostly I Think For A Living.
Sounds Important.
Not Exactly Earth-Shattering Compared To What You're Doing.
Being A Detective? No.
Having A Baby.
That's Big Stuff.
Yeah.
Big Stuff.
Great Stuff.
Are You Excited? Oh, Yes.
I'd Say I Was Excited Thrilled, Nervous, Tired Would You Like Me To Walk You Back To Your Compartment? Oh, No, No.
I'm Tired All The Time.
I'm Enjoying Just Sitting Here Chatting.
Oh, Me, Too.
This Is One Of The Nicest Train Rides I've Ever Had.
It Was Worth A Concussion.
I Suppose I'm Gonna Give Fatherhood A Go One Of These Days, Although I'm Not Thoroughly Convinced That There Are Enough Hours In A Day To Have A Relationship, Run A Company, And Still Drop By The Dry Cleaner Once A Week.
I Don't Know.
Truth Is, I'm Not Exactly Sure What I Want To Do With My Life Yet.
It's Just That I'm Still Looking For This One Secret MagicThing That Is Going To Just Click Everything Right Into Focus.
I Don't Know.
You Have Any Idea What You're Gonna Do With Your Life? Of Co--What Am I Asking, You're Doing It.
I'm Doing It, All Right.
How Long Have You Been Married? Married? Oh.
I'd Say Three Years Next Month.
Hard To Believe.
You Know, To Me, The Scariest Thing About Being Married? What? The Big Church Wedding, With All The Drunken Relatives Crying And Arguing.
I Can't Go That Route.
Me, Neither.
So You Eloped? Eloped? Well, Yes.
I Guess You'd Call It That.
Yes, We Eloped.
Yes, A Ladder Up To The Window.
And The Whole Thing.
It Was Very Exciting.
Were Your Mom And Dad Disappointed? No, We Didn't Tell Them.
You Didn't Tell Your Mom? No, She Was Dead At The Time, And My Father Was Missing.
Oh, I'm So Sorry.
It's Ok, We Found Him Later.
So, Was Your Dad Pleased When He Finally Found Out? Pleased Isn't The Word For It.
But The Funny Thing About My Husband David Is I Didn't Think He Could Pull It Off, But He Really Rose To The Occasion.
He Works Hard.
He's Going To Be A Terrific Dad.
He's My Best Friend.
Somehow He Manages To Keep The Spark Alive Between Us.
I Guess You Could Say He's The Man Of My Dreams.
Ok.
Then Here's A Toast To Your Dream Man And To The Mother Of Your Child.
David: Maddie.
Maddie.
[People Screaming.]
What's Wrong? What's Going On? Maybe She Knows.
Knows What? How To Operate A Train.
I'm Not Sure, Are There Instructions? You Can Do It, I Know You Can.
You Have To Do It.
You're The Only One Who Can Save Us.
Hurry, Please! Well, I'll Try.
Look, Do You Know How To Operate A Train, Or Don't You? Well Come On, Now.
Everyone Is Counting On You.
Yes, I'm Sure I Can.
Yay! Yay! Yay! I Don't Know What To Do.
I Don't Know Why I Said I Did.
I Guess I Thought I Could Figure It Out.
You've Got To Help Me.
You Can't Expect To Be A Passenger All Your Life, Maddie.
Time For You To Take Control.
Don't Go! [Door Closes.]
Oh! Ok, Maddie.
You Got Yourself Into This.
Now, Do Something.
There's Got To Be Something I Can Do Some Way Out.
[Train Whistle Blowing.]
[Train Whistle Blowing.]
I'm Going To Die! I'm Going To Kill All These People! I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry! Why Did I Think I Could Do This? Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! I Can't Stop It! I Can't Stop It! Maddie, Wake Up! Wake Up, It's Me--Walter.
You're Having A Nightmare.
Actually, It's Sort Of Stupid, Me Telling You That You're Having A Nightmare.
Once Again, My Brilliant Grasp Of The Obvious.
See, I Was Faced With 2 Choices In There, Either I Could Sit There, Trying To Read My Book, Or I Could Come In Here And Save My Dinner Companion From Some Horrible Fate.
You Ok? Yeah, I'm Fine.
I'm Sorry I Disturbed You.
No, No, Actually, I Disturbed You.
I've Never Had A Dream Like That.
I Dreamed I Was In A Train Crash.
Train Crash? Yes.
I Had The Controls, And I Didn't Know What To Do.
And The Train Crashed Into My Office.
Your Office? Yes.
Were There Any Survivors? Survivors? Yeah, There Are Never Any Survivors In My Dreams.
I Have Similar Ones All The Time.
Only About Airplanes.
About Once A Month, Mine Crash Into The Sea.
So Compared To Planes, Train Travel Is Completely Safe.
I Suppose You Have More On Your Mind Than Passenger Safety.
Well If You're Ok, Uh Walter? I Lied To You.
What? I Lied To You About My Wonderful Husband David.
There Is A David, But, Uh He's Not My Husband.
Besides, The Truth Is Well I Haven't Told The Truth To Anyone, Not Even To Myself.
The Truth Is I'm Afraid That The Nightmare Is Not Going To End.
So What Are You Saying, Your Life Is A Nightmare? I Ran Away From Everything, And Back In Chicago, I Thought It Was Controllable, But It Isn't.
It's Just A Mess.
You Couldn't Be Wrong? The Closer I Get To L.
A.
, The More I Want To Turn Around And Go In The Other Direction.
Ok.
So You Have This Wonderful Husband David Who Isn't Your Husband.
Is He Wonderful, At Least? Does He Want You? Yes.
Then What's The Problem? I'm Not Sure I Want Him.
I Mean, I Want Him I Just Can't Stand Him.
He's Lewd And Loud And Careless And Overbearing.
But That's Partly Why I Love Him, You Know? You Know, Sometimes The Things That We Want In The Worst Way Are The Worst For Us, Like Pepperoni.
Hah.
You Ever Think That David Might Change, Now That He's A Father? That's The Problem.
He Isn't The Father.
Oh.
I'm Not Having David's Child.
Yeah, That Is A Problem.
Yeah.
I Don't Know How I'm Going To Tell Him About Sonograms And Calendars, And That He Was At The Right Place At The Wrong Time.
[Door Opens.]
Walter: Hello.
One Of The Benefits Of Frequent Rail Travel-- Cecil's Cocoa.
Available Round-The-Clock To Acquaintances Of Long Standing.
I Hope You Like Marshmallows.
Mm-Hmm.
Blip.
Blip.
A-Plus.
Let's See Here.
Hmm.
Bit Of Chocolatey Bouquet, With A Carob Aftertaste.
I Think It's '73, But I Don't Recognize The Vineyard.
Well Well You Ever Been In A Transcontinental Pajama Party Before? No, But I Kind Of Like It.
I Could Use Another Couple Of Weeks Of This.
Don't They Have Those Rail Passes For A Month? Maybe I Could Get One For 6 Months Or 6 Years, Or Maybe Someone Will Throw The Switch The Wrong Way, And We'll Never Reach Los Angeles, And I Could Sit Here Getting Crumbs In My Bed, And Looking Out At The Lights Whizzing By, And All Those Shadows Behind The Windows, And Make Believe That I Don't Have Their Problems.
Bit Of A Double-Edged Sword, Isn't It? How So? People Without Anything To Worry About Are Generally On Their Way To The Cemetery.
Those People Behind Those Windows, I Envy Them And Their Problems.
I Imagine That They're Inside There, Living Life.
Doing The Dishes, Cozying Up To The Fire, Bagging The Garbage, Just Stuff.
Maybe Even Drinking Cocoa.
I Don't Believe This.
I Came In Here To Cheer You Up.
I Was Supposed To Be Mr.
Levity, I Was Gonna Be The Johnny Carson Of The Rail.
Instead, I'm Here, Walter Bishop, Of Night, In The Sleeping Compartment Of A Troubled And Very Beautiful Woman, Ruminating About Alienation And My Own Unfulfilled Life.
You're Being Silly, Walter.
Silly And Boring.
Deluxe Combo.
Neither.
I Appreciate This.
You Do? I Do.
A Lot.
Ok Now, What Do We Do To Really Cheer Ourselves Up? More Marshmallows.
No, No, Not Enough Oomph.
I'm Not Opposed To Oomph.
All Right.
Um.
I Got It.
We're Pulling Into Vegas In A Couple Of Hours, I Have Never Gambled Before.
I Hate Gambling.
Gambling Repulses Me.
You, Too? Let's Gamble.
[Telephone Rings.]
Blue Moon Detective Agency.
You Could Be A Man Who Just Stabbed His Wife Or Even The Woman At The Other End Of The Knife.
I Hate To Sound Heartless, Or Rude Or Cold, But We're Really Busy.
I'll Have To Put You On Hold.
Hello.
Miss Hayes.
It's Really You.
It's Really Me.
You're Really Here? I'm Really Here.
You're Really Early.
I'm Really Early? You're Not Supposed To Be Here Until Tomorrow, Don't Move.
Don't Move? Don't Move.
Party Stations! Ok, Everybody, Sound Spontaneous, Just Like We Rehearsed It.
Welcome Back, Miss Hayes! Wait A Minute, I Can Only Answer One Question At A Time.
I'm A Little Under 5 Months.
Yes, The Train Was Bumpy.
And, Um How Are You All Doing? What's Happened? Well, We've Been Busy.
Killed Their Spouses For The Insurance Money.
Triangles Where By The Other 2, And Burt And I Did Episodes Of Our Own.
Miss Hayes, If I May? On Behalf Of The Entire Company, I Would Just Like To Tell You How Much We've Missed Having You In Our Midst.
And We'd All Like To Wish You All The Best With Your Baby-To-Be.
Thank You, Mr.
Viola.
While I've Done All Within My Power To Make Myself An Indispensable Member Of This Team, To Try To Plug The Immense Hole Left By Your Absence, I Must Say That As Far As Blue Moon Goes, The Man Does Not Exist Who Could Adequately Fill Your Pumps.
Without You, We've Been Like An Engine Running On 1 Cylinder, Puttering Along, Unable To Get The Lead Out Of Our Gas.
But Now, Now That You're Out Of The Shop, So To Speak, We Are Greased And Lubed And Ready To Hum Down That Highway To A New Horizon.
The Rpms Are Up, There's Nothing In Our Path, The Finish Line Isin Clear View, And-- Missed A Few Days From School.
Sorry.
Did You Bring A Note From Your Mother? Will One From My Doctor Do? Yes.
Welcome Back.
Thanks.
So What Do You Say We Slip Into Something A Little More Comfortable? Like Your Office.
My Office? Sure, Your Office.
Remember The Thing With All The Furniture? Figured It Might Be A Little Easier In There, We Could Catch Up On Business.
Business? Sure.
Fine.
My Office Would Be Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
You Know, If We Wait Here Long Enough, It Might Just Come To Us.
I'm Sorry.
I'm Just Nothing.
It's Nothing.
I'm Here.
I Might As Well Catch Up On The Business, Right? Right.
Right.
Might As Well Do It In My Office.
Right? Right.
RightUnless We Do It Out Here.
Right Out Here? Well, There's Lots Of Business Out Here.
Phones, Files, Desks.
Look, If You Don't Want To Go In-- I Didn't Say That, My Office Would Be Fine.
Let's Go Into My Office.
We're Going Into My Office.
If Anyone Calls, Comes In, Or Otherwise Wants To See Us, Shoot Them.
This Feels Different, But The Same.
I Thought It Would Have Been The Other Way Around.
Can I, Uh So SoWe've Got A Lot Of Catching Up To Do.
Catching Up To Do? Catching Up To Do.
So Catch Me Up.
I Wasn't Planning Staying Very Long Today.
Right.
Well I'm A Little Nervous.
I Mean, It's Been 4 Months.
David.
So What About Tonight? Tonight? Yea, Tonight? What About Tonight? I Figured We'd Hit A Quiet, Overpriced Restaurant That Doesn't Have Kiddie Menus Or Booster Chairs While You Still Can.
Well You See, You're Back 10 Minutes, And We Already Agree On Something.
How About Italian Food? I Think We'll Both Pass.
I Just Want To Wait.
Wait.
Please? I Just Got Off The Train A Couple Hours Ago.
After 3 Days And Nights, Very Little Sleep, Showering In A Closet, And Having My Meals While I Rocked, I'm Just Not Ready.
I Dropped In Here To Touch Base, See Everyone, To See You.
But I Do Want To Talk To You, I Need To Talk To You, And I Will.
You Just Need To Give Me A Little Time, You Know, To Rest Up, Get My Land Legs Back.
Sure.
Sounds Fair.
Thanks.
Wouldn't Want Your Knees To Start Wobbling.
Next Thing You Know, You'd Be Flat On Your Back, Feet Up In The Air, And That's How This Whole Thing Started, Isn't It? David.
You Know What, Maddie? What? I'm Having A Real Hard Time Working Up Any Sympathy For The Fact That You Were On A Train For 3 Days And 3 Nights.
I've Been On A Roller Coaster For The Past 4 1/2 Months Waiting For You.
Waiting For You To Come Home, Wondering If You Ever Were Gonna Come Home, Andnow You Finally Do Come Home, And I'm Walking Around Here On Eggshells.
And The First Thing Out Of Your Mouth Is, "Wait, David.
" "Wait!" Well, Maybe I Am Pushing Things A Little Bit Too Much, But I've Gotten About As Good As I'll Ever Get At Waiting.
I'm A Good Waiter.
A Great Waiter.
I Could Get A Job As A Head Waiter.
I'm Just Asking For A Little Time, To Get My Mail-- Well, Just For The Sake Of Argument, Let's Just Say I Do Do Wait Until Tomorrow, Then What? Then What? Then Not Tomorrow, But The Next Day, Then Not The Next Day, But Maybe Someday-- How About Not Ever, David? You're Being A Jackass.
The Past 4 1/2 Months Haven't Been A Cakewalk For Me, Either.
Yeah, Must've Been Pretty Tough Having Your Mom Poach Your Eggs For You Every Morning While I Was Here Bringing Home The Bacon.
That's All This Is To You, Isn't It, Bacon And Eggs? I Don't Know About You, But I've Had A Lot More On My Mind And Stomach Than Food.
Yeah, And Instead Of Staying Here And Dealing With It, The Queen Bee Gives Everybody The Royal Buzz-Off Regardless Of What It Does To Anybody Else's Life.
Like What? Did You Miss A Few Happy Hours? No.
I Don't Remember A Whole Lot Of Happy Hours.
As A Matter Of Fact, The Only Thing I Do Remember Is Having At Least One Conversation With You For Every Night You Weren't Here.
I Don't Want To Do This.
I'm Not Ready To Do This.
You're Not The Only One With 4 1/2 Months Bottled Up Inside Of You.
But You Know What? I'm Not Gonna.
Somehow It Fits.
I'm Not Gonna Give You The Satisfaction Of Walking Out On Me Before I'm Ready To Go.
So Just Leave.
I Am Walking Out, You Understand? Get Out! Yes.
Like Riding A Bike, Ain't It? I'm Sorry.
No, I'm Sorry.
It's All My Fault.
No, I Shouldn't Have Come In Today.
I Overreacted.
I Overreacted To Your Overreaction.
Look, I'm Sorry.
I Just Missed You.
I Missed You, Too.
Well Here We Are, Two People Who Miss Each Other.
Here We Are.
Want To Take It Again From The Top? I'll Meet You Halfway.
DavidI'm Married.
Mmm.
I Like That.
I Missed These Little Sex Games.
I'll Be The Delivery Boy.
No, David.
I'm Married.
Want Me To Be The Milkman? David, Listen To Me.
I Got Married Last Night.
I'm Married.
What? Married.
I Got Married.
I'm Married.
You're Serious? Arh, Arh.
Wait A Minute.
Wait A Minute.
Do You Mean The For Better-Or-For-Worse, Till-Death-Do-Us-Part Married Or I-Woke-Up- Under-A-Barstool Married? Better-Or-Worse.
I Met Him On The Train.
We Stopped In Las Vegas.
We Were There A Night.
He Asked Me.
I Said Yes.
II Guess You'd Say It Was Kind Of Spontaneous.
Spon--Are You Nuts? You've Never Done Anything Spontaneous In Your Life.
Well, I Guess There's A First Time For Everything.
I Don't Believe You.
It's True.
It's True? You, Maddie Hayes, Went Out And Got Married? You Make It Sound-- So This Hubby Of Yours-- He Got A Name? Yes.
Well? I'm Thinking.
Bishop.
Walter Bishop.
You Sure? Don't Make Fun Of Me.
I Love Him.
You Love Him? Ha Ha Ha! Love Him? It Doesn't Even Sound Like You Know Him.
I Know Him.
I Know Him Very Well.
Oh, Yeah? How Long? Three Days.
Three Days! Three Whole Days? Three Very Full Days.
I Bet They Were Full, I Bet They Were Chock-Full.
I Bet They Were Action-Packed.
It's Not Like That, David.
I Can Hear What You're Thinking.
I Can Hear That Smirk In Your Voice.
Why Can't You Just Dig Deep Down Inside And Find Something Nice To Say? Nice? You Want Me To Say Something Nice? Well, The Actual, Honest-To-God, Telling You What The Lord-Loving Truth Is, I Don't Know What To Say, Mrs Bishop! Walter Bishop! Just Testing.
Forgive Me For Not Throwing Rice, But Aren't We Forgetting One Teeny, Tiny Little Plot Point? It's Not Yours.
You're Absolutely Sure About That? I'm Absolutely Sure.
So What About Sam? Sam Is None Of Your Business.
What About This Guy, Mr.
Pawn? Bishop! Whatever.
Does It Matter To Him? Well That's Great.
Tell You What.
You Let Dipesto Know What Your Silver Pattern Is.
We'll Pick You Out Something Real Nice.
[Chuckling.]
So That's It? Together, And That's The Way You're Gonna Act? You Can't Say Something Nice? Like What? How About Congratulations? You Know What? You Are Undeniably, Certifiably, Categorically, Got The Documents-Up-On- The-Wall And Everything, Nuts.
Congratulations! Captioning Made Possible By Lions Gate Home Entertainment Captioned By The National Captioning Institute --TC6 WAS HERE-- So Come Walk The Night Come Fly By Day Something Is Sweeter 'cause We Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way
Darn, I'm Supposed To Be On The Filing Right Now.
Welcome.
Sorry, Miss H.
Just No Time To Welcome You Back Right Now.
Sure, I Can See You're Very Busy.
I Understand.
SoHowWas YourStay InChiCaGo? ItWasFine.
Fine.
But You Can Go Ahead With What You're Doing.
We Can Talk Later.
I Just Came In Early To Get My Bearings.
You Know, I Figured No One Would Be In Yet.
And I Could Be Alone WithBeing Here Before Anyone Got In.
But Here You AreIn.
Here I Am In.
Why Are You Here-- I Mean In-- At 6:00, Agnes? Oh, I Always Come In This EarlyNow.
Now? Mr.
Addison Wanted Me Here In The Morning So We Could Do The Billing Together Before The Business Day Starts.
Mr.
Addison Comes In This Early? Every Day.
He's Here? Miss Hayes, Things Have Changed Here.
Mr.
Addison's Really Turned Over A Gigantic New Leaf.
He Has? He's New And Improved.
He's Straighter And Narrower.
He's Altered His State.
And It's All Because Of You, Miss Hayes.
Your Influence Has Made Him A Whole New Guy.
Morning, David.
Well, I'll Be Darned.
It's Goldilocks.
Where's David? Where's David? He's Right Here.
Does A Bear Have Fur? Does Water Turn To Ice When You Freeze It? See? Same Fella.
New Priorities.
Husbandhood.
Fatherhood.
But Still The Same Old Heckraiser.
[Dog Barks.]
Quiet Down, Sport.
Let's Show Maddie Your New Trick, Huh? Foot.
See, Sport Wants To Shake.
Is It All Right With Sport If We Shake Later? I'm Feeling A Little Worn Out.
What Am I Thinking About? Let's Get Off Your Feet, Mommy.
Sit Down.
Now Got Some Great News For You.
Yeah? Yep.
Sold The House.
What House? Your House.
What Do You Mean You Sold My House? Well, For Pete's Sake, Dear, We Can't Raise Little Baby Addison Around That Crazy Staircase In Your Old House.
I Guess We Can't.
Right.
Now Wait Till You See The Ponderosa I Bought Us.
That's A Good, Honest 4 Walls To Raise The Little Dickens In.
Single Story.
None Of That Artsy Stuff.
Plenty Of Room Around The Back For A Swingset.
Space For The Wee One To Stretch.
Boy, It's Good To See You, Hon, But As Usual, I I've Got Another Case That Needs Some Cracking.
Interesting Case? You Betcha.
This Girl Walked In The Office, Hired Me To Find Her Grandmother's Brooch Which The Client Believes She Lost At The School Dance.
But The Kicker Is, She Wasn't Supposed To Have Borrowed That Pin To Begin With.
Now She's Worried That Her Grandmom's Gonna Be Really Sad About Her Losing It.
Oh, What A Tangled Web We Weave.
Anyways I Gotta Run Over To The High School Auditorium Where The Granddaughter Thinks She Lost The Brooch.
While I'm Gone, Why Don't You Lie On The Couch Or Something, Just Take A Nap? You Seem Sort Of Discombobulated.
Great To Have You Back, Hon.
It's Great To Be Back.
A-Wop Bob A-Loo Bop A-Lop Bop Bop Tooty-Fruity, Oh, Rooty Woo [Train Whistle Blowing.]
Man: Aah! [Thud.]
God-- Are You All Right? Yeah, Just Find My Driver's License And Tell Me Who I Am.
I'm So Sorry.
I Know I Shouldn't Have Left That Tray In The Hall, But I Couldn't Help It, I Couldn't Stand Looking At The Food.
Oh, No, No, No, It's Not Your Fault.
I'm Just Surprised The Porter Didn't-- Let Me Help You.
I'm Sorry.
Don't You Do Anything.
I'll Take Care Of Everything.
You Shouldn't Be Bending Over.
Aah! That'll Cure The Amnesia.
Maybe I Should Go Get A Porter.
No, No, No, No.
My Compartment Is Right Next Door, Here, Let Me Just-- [Crunch.]
Oh, No.
That's Ok.
Don't Worry About It.
I Don't Know What I Can Say.
I Have A Spare Pair.
Is There Anything I Can Do? There's Nothing To Do.
I'm Fine, Just Fine.
Thank You Very Much.
I'm Fine.
Are You Sure You Can See Without Your Glasses? They're Just For Reading.
Would You Like Some Gravy With That? No, Thank You.
[Door Closes.]
Agnes: Yikes.
Uncle Sam.
Hello? Is This Miss Hayes' Mother? This Is Agnes Dipesto From The Agency.
I Need To Find Out What To Do With Her Irs Stuff.
Oh.
Can You Leave A Message That I Called? She Is? She Will? I Can? I Can.
I Can Give It To Her Myself.
Thanks.
Ok.
Bye.
That Ridiculous Smile On Your Face Wouldn't Have Anything To Do With Last Night, Would It? No.
Oh.
Ha Ha Ha! It's Better Than That.
Better? It's Better Than Better.
It's Betterest! Agnes, What's Wrong With You? Nothing's Wrong With Me.
Agnes, I've Always Admired Your Sunny Disposition, But This Is Bordering On Sunstroke.
It's Miss Hayes.
She's Coming Home.
Home? Here? Yeah.
Both: Mr.
Addison! Did You Tell Him? No, Should We Tell Him? Helen Of Troy Comes Home, You Want To Keep It A Secret? If She Wanted Him To Know, Why Didn't She Call? Maybe It's A Surprise.
You Could Be Right.
Agnes, You And I Have Jumped Into This Game More Than Once To Keep Those Two From Folding, But Maybe This Time We Should Just Stand Back And Let Destiny Play Out His Hand.
Hi, Kids.
What's Up? You Two Split A Canary Club Sandwich? Great News.
Great, Great News.
We Just Found Out.
I'm All Ears.
You'll Never Guess.
I Give Up.
She's Coming Home.
Lassie? Miss Hayes.
Maddie.
Miss Hayes? Maddie's Coming Home? Home.
Home.
Here.
Soon.
That's Great, When Did She Call, Was I Out? Well, Yeah, Kind Of.
Well, Yeah, Kind Of? Well, Yeah, Sort Of.
Kind Of, Sort Of Well, What's Up, I Mean, Did She Call Or Didn't She Call? Wait A Second, Why Dwell On The Messenger When The Message Is Such Good News? She's On A Train Headed This Way.
She's Coming Back, Bigger And Better Than Ever.
Answer My Question.
If She Didn't Call, How'd You Know She's Coming Home? I Called There.
Her Mother Answered.
She Told Me.
She's Coming Home, But She Couldn't Be Bothered To Call Me.
That's Great.
Maybe She Wanted To Surprise Us.
Well, I'm Surprised.
If She Comes In, Buzz Me.
If I'm Not Too Busy, I'll Stick My Head Out And Say Hi.
Maddie, Guess Who Davey Junior Just Mentioned In His Now I Lay Me's.
Tookie.
Tookie? That Imaginary Friend Of His.
Little Davey Was Afraid Tookie Wouldn't Play Make-Believe Anymore.
So You Know What I Told Him? What? I Said, "Son, If You Want A Friend, Be One.
" Good Advice.
I Thought So.
Used It In My Breakfast Speech To The Rotary Club This Morning.
Honey, Have You Seen My Pepto-- Wait A Minute.
Here It Is.
Yeah.
I Have A Little Touch Of The Businessman's Butterflies.
Want Some? No, Thanks.
Pink And Yummy Nice For The Tummy.
David, Do You Ever Think About What Makes You Happy? Happy? Only 26 Years And 4 Months And We Can Rip Up The Mortgage.
That Makes Me Happy.
Being Married To You Makes Me Happy.
Really? Really.
Maddie, If We Hadn't Gotten Married, I Might Not Have Ever Settled Down.
Because Of You, I'm A Totally Different Person.
Yeah.
I Know.
Well Nightie Night Night.
David.
Hmm? Do You Find Me I Mean, Do You Still Feel Passionate About Me? What Man Wouldn't Be Passionate About A Woman As Soft And Lovely As You? Really? You Mean That? Yes, Indeed.
Well, Then, David, Look At Me And Tell Me That.
Whoa! Maddie.
You Scalawag.
Wait A Minute.
It's 8:30.
It's Almost Bedtime.
Hey, Maybe--Maybe We Should Wait Till Next Sunday You Know, When The Kids Are At Disneyland.
Yeah.
Maybe.
You Better Hop Under The Covers.
You're Gonna Catch Your Death Of Cold In That Thing.
I Don't Know, David.
Being Married To You Is Not What I Thought It'd Be.
I'm Not Complaining.
You're A Model Husband Hard-Working, Responsible, A Doting Parent.
Pillar Of The Community.
You've Made A Lovely Childproof Home Here For Me And The Kids.
Lots Of Cozy Corners, Big Yard, Swings, An Olympic-Size Sandbox.
You've Done Great.
Better Than Great, David.
You're Ideal.
But, David You're Not The Same Person As The Man I Used To Know, And I'm Not Sure I Like The Change.
Don't Hate Me For Saying This, It's Not Your Fault.
It's My Fault.
You Just Gave Me What I Asked For.
David, Let's Sleep Outside Tonight.
We Could Put Our Blankets On The Lawn And Make Love In The Moon [Snoring.]
Light.
I Didn't Think You'd Come.
It's What You Wanted, Isn't It? So Which David Do You Want Me, Or That Jar Of Mayonnaise You Call A Husband? You'd Better Go.
I Need You.
I Need This.
David? David? David? Hello.
Hi.
Oh.
Do You Mind If I Join You For Dinner? Well, I, Um Only If I'm Not Imposing.
No, No, Not At All.
Is It Safe? I Left My Hard Hat Back In The Compartment.
I'll Try To Be On My Best Behavior.
I'm Walter Bishop.
Maddie Hayes.
Oh, I'm Sorry.
No Big Deal.
I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me.
I Guess I Just Don't Feel Much Like A Ballerina These Days.
Did I Get You? No, You Just Missed.
I Feel Terrible About This And About What Happened Yesterday.
Yesterday Was At Least But I Stepped On Your Glasses.
Well, I Was Due For A New Prescription Anyway.
Good Evening, Cecil.
Good Evening, Mr.
Bishop.
Will You Be Having A Cocktail? I'll Have The Usual, And The Lady-- Nothing For Me, Thank You.
You Seem Pretty At Home Here.
I Have To Be In Chicago A Couple Of Times A Month, And I'm One Of Those People Who Doesn't Believe That It Is Possible For A Man To Fly.
I Call It The Myth Of Aviation.
What? I'm Sorry.
It's Just That You Look So Silly.
I Couldn't Find My Other Pair, I Must've Left Them In L.
A.
I'm Terrible, It's Bad Enough That I Broke Them In The First Place.
You Have To Let Me Buy You Another Pair When We Get Back To California.
Deal? Deal.
So, A Systems Analyst Is Someone Who Analyzes Systems.
Oh.
I Have A Remarkable Grasp Of The Obvious.
This Is Pretty Boring, Isn't It-- Is That What You Do? No.
I Have Analyzed Some Systems, But I Write, I Consult, I Lecture, But Mostly I Think For A Living.
Sounds Important.
Not Exactly Earth-Shattering Compared To What You're Doing.
Being A Detective? No.
Having A Baby.
That's Big Stuff.
Yeah.
Big Stuff.
Great Stuff.
Are You Excited? Oh, Yes.
I'd Say I Was Excited Thrilled, Nervous, Tired Would You Like Me To Walk You Back To Your Compartment? Oh, No, No.
I'm Tired All The Time.
I'm Enjoying Just Sitting Here Chatting.
Oh, Me, Too.
This Is One Of The Nicest Train Rides I've Ever Had.
It Was Worth A Concussion.
I Suppose I'm Gonna Give Fatherhood A Go One Of These Days, Although I'm Not Thoroughly Convinced That There Are Enough Hours In A Day To Have A Relationship, Run A Company, And Still Drop By The Dry Cleaner Once A Week.
I Don't Know.
Truth Is, I'm Not Exactly Sure What I Want To Do With My Life Yet.
It's Just That I'm Still Looking For This One Secret MagicThing That Is Going To Just Click Everything Right Into Focus.
I Don't Know.
You Have Any Idea What You're Gonna Do With Your Life? Of Co--What Am I Asking, You're Doing It.
I'm Doing It, All Right.
How Long Have You Been Married? Married? Oh.
I'd Say Three Years Next Month.
Hard To Believe.
You Know, To Me, The Scariest Thing About Being Married? What? The Big Church Wedding, With All The Drunken Relatives Crying And Arguing.
I Can't Go That Route.
Me, Neither.
So You Eloped? Eloped? Well, Yes.
I Guess You'd Call It That.
Yes, We Eloped.
Yes, A Ladder Up To The Window.
And The Whole Thing.
It Was Very Exciting.
Were Your Mom And Dad Disappointed? No, We Didn't Tell Them.
You Didn't Tell Your Mom? No, She Was Dead At The Time, And My Father Was Missing.
Oh, I'm So Sorry.
It's Ok, We Found Him Later.
So, Was Your Dad Pleased When He Finally Found Out? Pleased Isn't The Word For It.
But The Funny Thing About My Husband David Is I Didn't Think He Could Pull It Off, But He Really Rose To The Occasion.
He Works Hard.
He's Going To Be A Terrific Dad.
He's My Best Friend.
Somehow He Manages To Keep The Spark Alive Between Us.
I Guess You Could Say He's The Man Of My Dreams.
Ok.
Then Here's A Toast To Your Dream Man And To The Mother Of Your Child.
David: Maddie.
Maddie.
[People Screaming.]
What's Wrong? What's Going On? Maybe She Knows.
Knows What? How To Operate A Train.
I'm Not Sure, Are There Instructions? You Can Do It, I Know You Can.
You Have To Do It.
You're The Only One Who Can Save Us.
Hurry, Please! Well, I'll Try.
Look, Do You Know How To Operate A Train, Or Don't You? Well Come On, Now.
Everyone Is Counting On You.
Yes, I'm Sure I Can.
Yay! Yay! Yay! I Don't Know What To Do.
I Don't Know Why I Said I Did.
I Guess I Thought I Could Figure It Out.
You've Got To Help Me.
You Can't Expect To Be A Passenger All Your Life, Maddie.
Time For You To Take Control.
Don't Go! [Door Closes.]
Oh! Ok, Maddie.
You Got Yourself Into This.
Now, Do Something.
There's Got To Be Something I Can Do Some Way Out.
[Train Whistle Blowing.]
[Train Whistle Blowing.]
I'm Going To Die! I'm Going To Kill All These People! I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry! Why Did I Think I Could Do This? Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! I Can't Stop It! I Can't Stop It! Maddie, Wake Up! Wake Up, It's Me--Walter.
You're Having A Nightmare.
Actually, It's Sort Of Stupid, Me Telling You That You're Having A Nightmare.
Once Again, My Brilliant Grasp Of The Obvious.
See, I Was Faced With 2 Choices In There, Either I Could Sit There, Trying To Read My Book, Or I Could Come In Here And Save My Dinner Companion From Some Horrible Fate.
You Ok? Yeah, I'm Fine.
I'm Sorry I Disturbed You.
No, No, Actually, I Disturbed You.
I've Never Had A Dream Like That.
I Dreamed I Was In A Train Crash.
Train Crash? Yes.
I Had The Controls, And I Didn't Know What To Do.
And The Train Crashed Into My Office.
Your Office? Yes.
Were There Any Survivors? Survivors? Yeah, There Are Never Any Survivors In My Dreams.
I Have Similar Ones All The Time.
Only About Airplanes.
About Once A Month, Mine Crash Into The Sea.
So Compared To Planes, Train Travel Is Completely Safe.
I Suppose You Have More On Your Mind Than Passenger Safety.
Well If You're Ok, Uh Walter? I Lied To You.
What? I Lied To You About My Wonderful Husband David.
There Is A David, But, Uh He's Not My Husband.
Besides, The Truth Is Well I Haven't Told The Truth To Anyone, Not Even To Myself.
The Truth Is I'm Afraid That The Nightmare Is Not Going To End.
So What Are You Saying, Your Life Is A Nightmare? I Ran Away From Everything, And Back In Chicago, I Thought It Was Controllable, But It Isn't.
It's Just A Mess.
You Couldn't Be Wrong? The Closer I Get To L.
A.
, The More I Want To Turn Around And Go In The Other Direction.
Ok.
So You Have This Wonderful Husband David Who Isn't Your Husband.
Is He Wonderful, At Least? Does He Want You? Yes.
Then What's The Problem? I'm Not Sure I Want Him.
I Mean, I Want Him I Just Can't Stand Him.
He's Lewd And Loud And Careless And Overbearing.
But That's Partly Why I Love Him, You Know? You Know, Sometimes The Things That We Want In The Worst Way Are The Worst For Us, Like Pepperoni.
Hah.
You Ever Think That David Might Change, Now That He's A Father? That's The Problem.
He Isn't The Father.
Oh.
I'm Not Having David's Child.
Yeah, That Is A Problem.
Yeah.
I Don't Know How I'm Going To Tell Him About Sonograms And Calendars, And That He Was At The Right Place At The Wrong Time.
[Door Opens.]
Walter: Hello.
One Of The Benefits Of Frequent Rail Travel-- Cecil's Cocoa.
Available Round-The-Clock To Acquaintances Of Long Standing.
I Hope You Like Marshmallows.
Mm-Hmm.
Blip.
Blip.
A-Plus.
Let's See Here.
Hmm.
Bit Of Chocolatey Bouquet, With A Carob Aftertaste.
I Think It's '73, But I Don't Recognize The Vineyard.
Well Well You Ever Been In A Transcontinental Pajama Party Before? No, But I Kind Of Like It.
I Could Use Another Couple Of Weeks Of This.
Don't They Have Those Rail Passes For A Month? Maybe I Could Get One For 6 Months Or 6 Years, Or Maybe Someone Will Throw The Switch The Wrong Way, And We'll Never Reach Los Angeles, And I Could Sit Here Getting Crumbs In My Bed, And Looking Out At The Lights Whizzing By, And All Those Shadows Behind The Windows, And Make Believe That I Don't Have Their Problems.
Bit Of A Double-Edged Sword, Isn't It? How So? People Without Anything To Worry About Are Generally On Their Way To The Cemetery.
Those People Behind Those Windows, I Envy Them And Their Problems.
I Imagine That They're Inside There, Living Life.
Doing The Dishes, Cozying Up To The Fire, Bagging The Garbage, Just Stuff.
Maybe Even Drinking Cocoa.
I Don't Believe This.
I Came In Here To Cheer You Up.
I Was Supposed To Be Mr.
Levity, I Was Gonna Be The Johnny Carson Of The Rail.
Instead, I'm Here, Walter Bishop, Of Night, In The Sleeping Compartment Of A Troubled And Very Beautiful Woman, Ruminating About Alienation And My Own Unfulfilled Life.
You're Being Silly, Walter.
Silly And Boring.
Deluxe Combo.
Neither.
I Appreciate This.
You Do? I Do.
A Lot.
Ok Now, What Do We Do To Really Cheer Ourselves Up? More Marshmallows.
No, No, Not Enough Oomph.
I'm Not Opposed To Oomph.
All Right.
Um.
I Got It.
We're Pulling Into Vegas In A Couple Of Hours, I Have Never Gambled Before.
I Hate Gambling.
Gambling Repulses Me.
You, Too? Let's Gamble.
[Telephone Rings.]
Blue Moon Detective Agency.
You Could Be A Man Who Just Stabbed His Wife Or Even The Woman At The Other End Of The Knife.
I Hate To Sound Heartless, Or Rude Or Cold, But We're Really Busy.
I'll Have To Put You On Hold.
Hello.
Miss Hayes.
It's Really You.
It's Really Me.
You're Really Here? I'm Really Here.
You're Really Early.
I'm Really Early? You're Not Supposed To Be Here Until Tomorrow, Don't Move.
Don't Move? Don't Move.
Party Stations! Ok, Everybody, Sound Spontaneous, Just Like We Rehearsed It.
Welcome Back, Miss Hayes! Wait A Minute, I Can Only Answer One Question At A Time.
I'm A Little Under 5 Months.
Yes, The Train Was Bumpy.
And, Um How Are You All Doing? What's Happened? Well, We've Been Busy.
Killed Their Spouses For The Insurance Money.
Triangles Where By The Other 2, And Burt And I Did Episodes Of Our Own.
Miss Hayes, If I May? On Behalf Of The Entire Company, I Would Just Like To Tell You How Much We've Missed Having You In Our Midst.
And We'd All Like To Wish You All The Best With Your Baby-To-Be.
Thank You, Mr.
Viola.
While I've Done All Within My Power To Make Myself An Indispensable Member Of This Team, To Try To Plug The Immense Hole Left By Your Absence, I Must Say That As Far As Blue Moon Goes, The Man Does Not Exist Who Could Adequately Fill Your Pumps.
Without You, We've Been Like An Engine Running On 1 Cylinder, Puttering Along, Unable To Get The Lead Out Of Our Gas.
But Now, Now That You're Out Of The Shop, So To Speak, We Are Greased And Lubed And Ready To Hum Down That Highway To A New Horizon.
The Rpms Are Up, There's Nothing In Our Path, The Finish Line Isin Clear View, And-- Missed A Few Days From School.
Sorry.
Did You Bring A Note From Your Mother? Will One From My Doctor Do? Yes.
Welcome Back.
Thanks.
So What Do You Say We Slip Into Something A Little More Comfortable? Like Your Office.
My Office? Sure, Your Office.
Remember The Thing With All The Furniture? Figured It Might Be A Little Easier In There, We Could Catch Up On Business.
Business? Sure.
Fine.
My Office Would Be Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
You Know, If We Wait Here Long Enough, It Might Just Come To Us.
I'm Sorry.
I'm Just Nothing.
It's Nothing.
I'm Here.
I Might As Well Catch Up On The Business, Right? Right.
Right.
Might As Well Do It In My Office.
Right? Right.
RightUnless We Do It Out Here.
Right Out Here? Well, There's Lots Of Business Out Here.
Phones, Files, Desks.
Look, If You Don't Want To Go In-- I Didn't Say That, My Office Would Be Fine.
Let's Go Into My Office.
We're Going Into My Office.
If Anyone Calls, Comes In, Or Otherwise Wants To See Us, Shoot Them.
This Feels Different, But The Same.
I Thought It Would Have Been The Other Way Around.
Can I, Uh So SoWe've Got A Lot Of Catching Up To Do.
Catching Up To Do? Catching Up To Do.
So Catch Me Up.
I Wasn't Planning Staying Very Long Today.
Right.
Well I'm A Little Nervous.
I Mean, It's Been 4 Months.
David.
So What About Tonight? Tonight? Yea, Tonight? What About Tonight? I Figured We'd Hit A Quiet, Overpriced Restaurant That Doesn't Have Kiddie Menus Or Booster Chairs While You Still Can.
Well You See, You're Back 10 Minutes, And We Already Agree On Something.
How About Italian Food? I Think We'll Both Pass.
I Just Want To Wait.
Wait.
Please? I Just Got Off The Train A Couple Hours Ago.
After 3 Days And Nights, Very Little Sleep, Showering In A Closet, And Having My Meals While I Rocked, I'm Just Not Ready.
I Dropped In Here To Touch Base, See Everyone, To See You.
But I Do Want To Talk To You, I Need To Talk To You, And I Will.
You Just Need To Give Me A Little Time, You Know, To Rest Up, Get My Land Legs Back.
Sure.
Sounds Fair.
Thanks.
Wouldn't Want Your Knees To Start Wobbling.
Next Thing You Know, You'd Be Flat On Your Back, Feet Up In The Air, And That's How This Whole Thing Started, Isn't It? David.
You Know What, Maddie? What? I'm Having A Real Hard Time Working Up Any Sympathy For The Fact That You Were On A Train For 3 Days And 3 Nights.
I've Been On A Roller Coaster For The Past 4 1/2 Months Waiting For You.
Waiting For You To Come Home, Wondering If You Ever Were Gonna Come Home, Andnow You Finally Do Come Home, And I'm Walking Around Here On Eggshells.
And The First Thing Out Of Your Mouth Is, "Wait, David.
" "Wait!" Well, Maybe I Am Pushing Things A Little Bit Too Much, But I've Gotten About As Good As I'll Ever Get At Waiting.
I'm A Good Waiter.
A Great Waiter.
I Could Get A Job As A Head Waiter.
I'm Just Asking For A Little Time, To Get My Mail-- Well, Just For The Sake Of Argument, Let's Just Say I Do Do Wait Until Tomorrow, Then What? Then What? Then Not Tomorrow, But The Next Day, Then Not The Next Day, But Maybe Someday-- How About Not Ever, David? You're Being A Jackass.
The Past 4 1/2 Months Haven't Been A Cakewalk For Me, Either.
Yeah, Must've Been Pretty Tough Having Your Mom Poach Your Eggs For You Every Morning While I Was Here Bringing Home The Bacon.
That's All This Is To You, Isn't It, Bacon And Eggs? I Don't Know About You, But I've Had A Lot More On My Mind And Stomach Than Food.
Yeah, And Instead Of Staying Here And Dealing With It, The Queen Bee Gives Everybody The Royal Buzz-Off Regardless Of What It Does To Anybody Else's Life.
Like What? Did You Miss A Few Happy Hours? No.
I Don't Remember A Whole Lot Of Happy Hours.
As A Matter Of Fact, The Only Thing I Do Remember Is Having At Least One Conversation With You For Every Night You Weren't Here.
I Don't Want To Do This.
I'm Not Ready To Do This.
You're Not The Only One With 4 1/2 Months Bottled Up Inside Of You.
But You Know What? I'm Not Gonna.
Somehow It Fits.
I'm Not Gonna Give You The Satisfaction Of Walking Out On Me Before I'm Ready To Go.
So Just Leave.
I Am Walking Out, You Understand? Get Out! Yes.
Like Riding A Bike, Ain't It? I'm Sorry.
No, I'm Sorry.
It's All My Fault.
No, I Shouldn't Have Come In Today.
I Overreacted.
I Overreacted To Your Overreaction.
Look, I'm Sorry.
I Just Missed You.
I Missed You, Too.
Well Here We Are, Two People Who Miss Each Other.
Here We Are.
Want To Take It Again From The Top? I'll Meet You Halfway.
DavidI'm Married.
Mmm.
I Like That.
I Missed These Little Sex Games.
I'll Be The Delivery Boy.
No, David.
I'm Married.
Want Me To Be The Milkman? David, Listen To Me.
I Got Married Last Night.
I'm Married.
What? Married.
I Got Married.
I'm Married.
You're Serious? Arh, Arh.
Wait A Minute.
Wait A Minute.
Do You Mean The For Better-Or-For-Worse, Till-Death-Do-Us-Part Married Or I-Woke-Up- Under-A-Barstool Married? Better-Or-Worse.
I Met Him On The Train.
We Stopped In Las Vegas.
We Were There A Night.
He Asked Me.
I Said Yes.
II Guess You'd Say It Was Kind Of Spontaneous.
Spon--Are You Nuts? You've Never Done Anything Spontaneous In Your Life.
Well, I Guess There's A First Time For Everything.
I Don't Believe You.
It's True.
It's True? You, Maddie Hayes, Went Out And Got Married? You Make It Sound-- So This Hubby Of Yours-- He Got A Name? Yes.
Well? I'm Thinking.
Bishop.
Walter Bishop.
You Sure? Don't Make Fun Of Me.
I Love Him.
You Love Him? Ha Ha Ha! Love Him? It Doesn't Even Sound Like You Know Him.
I Know Him.
I Know Him Very Well.
Oh, Yeah? How Long? Three Days.
Three Days! Three Whole Days? Three Very Full Days.
I Bet They Were Full, I Bet They Were Chock-Full.
I Bet They Were Action-Packed.
It's Not Like That, David.
I Can Hear What You're Thinking.
I Can Hear That Smirk In Your Voice.
Why Can't You Just Dig Deep Down Inside And Find Something Nice To Say? Nice? You Want Me To Say Something Nice? Well, The Actual, Honest-To-God, Telling You What The Lord-Loving Truth Is, I Don't Know What To Say, Mrs Bishop! Walter Bishop! Just Testing.
Forgive Me For Not Throwing Rice, But Aren't We Forgetting One Teeny, Tiny Little Plot Point? It's Not Yours.
You're Absolutely Sure About That? I'm Absolutely Sure.
So What About Sam? Sam Is None Of Your Business.
What About This Guy, Mr.
Pawn? Bishop! Whatever.
Does It Matter To Him? Well That's Great.
Tell You What.
You Let Dipesto Know What Your Silver Pattern Is.
We'll Pick You Out Something Real Nice.
[Chuckling.]
So That's It? Together, And That's The Way You're Gonna Act? You Can't Say Something Nice? Like What? How About Congratulations? You Know What? You Are Undeniably, Certifiably, Categorically, Got The Documents-Up-On- The-Wall And Everything, Nuts.
Congratulations! Captioning Made Possible By Lions Gate Home Entertainment Captioned By The National Captioning Institute --TC6 WAS HERE-- So Come Walk The Night Come Fly By Day Something Is Sweeter 'cause We Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way Who Just Met On The Way