Reno 911! (2003) s04e10 Episode Script

look alive.
Look alive.
[glass breaks.]
[glass breaks.]
[glass breaks.]
hey, frisbee.
Hey.
Uh, so hey, frisbee.
Hey.
Uh, so hey, frisbee.
Hey.
Uh, so You wouldn't know anything You wouldn't know anything You wouldn't know anything about those two, uh, portland About those two, uh, portland About those two, uh, portland child services fellas who came Child services fellas who came Child services fellas who came up here a couple of weeks back.
Up here a couple of weeks back.
Up here a couple of weeks back.
Nobody has seen 'em since they Nobody has seen 'em since they Nobody has seen 'em since they come up here.
Come up here.
Come up here.
you know anything about that? you know anything about that? you know anything about that? mm-mmm.
ok, we asked.
ok, we asked.
ok, we asked.
okeydoke.
We had to ask.
okeydoke.
We had to ask.
okeydoke.
We had to ask.
weapons down.
Weapons down.
weapons down.
Weapons down.
weapons down.
Weapons down.
joe.
Joe.
Joe, get in the joe.
Joe.
Joe, get in the joe.
Joe.
Joe, get in the car, joe.
Car, joe.
Car, joe.
mtv networks.]
meanwhile, at the reno's meanwhile, at the reno's meanwhile, at the reno's sheriff's department.
Sheriff's department.
Sheriff's department.
what are you doing? what are you doing? what are you doing? I thought that would go I thought that would go I thought that would go better.
Better.
Better.
too early for that shit.
too early for that shit.
too early for that shit.
I thought it'd be a I thought it'd be a I thought it'd be a fun way to start our morning Fun way to start our morning Fun way to start our morning briefings if I gave it a Briefings if I gave it a Briefings if I gave it a little Little Little that was weird.
that was weird.
that was weird.
well, you sound like the well, you sound like the well, you sound like the super frienguy, but you're Super frienguy, but you're Super frienguy, but you're saying stuff from tbatman Saying stuff from tbatman Saying stuff from tbatman show.
Show.
Show.
then it also needs then it also needs then it also needs that[imitating siren.]
That[imitating siren.]
That[imitating siren.]
don't want any more fucking don't want any more fucking don't want any more fucking notes on it.
I tried it.
Notes on it.
I tried it.
Notes on it.
I tried it.
I'm sorry, jim.
Just do it I'm sorry, jim.
Just do it I'm sorry, jim.
Just do it again.
Let's hear it one more Again.
Let's hear it one more Again.
Let's hear it one more time.
Time.
Time.
meanwhile, at the reno meanwhile, at the reno meanwhile, at the reno sheriff--fuck it.
Anyhoo, did Sheriff--fuck it.
Anyhoo, did Sheriff--fuck it.
Anyhoo, did everybody vote already? Everybody vote already? Everybody vote already? not yet.
not yet.
not yet.
not yet? Big day.
Get out not yet? Big day.
Get out not yet? Big day.
Get out and do it.
And do it.
And do it.
I was gonna do it on my I was gonna do it on my I was gonna do it on my way home.
Way home.
Way home.
proposition c.
proposition c.
proposition c.
All: Prop c! Prop c! Prop c! All: Prop c! Prop c! Prop c! All: Prop c! Prop c! Prop c! ♪ woo-hoo ♪ ♪ woo-hoo ♪ ♪ woo-hoo ♪ proposition c means a 3% proposition c means a 3% proposition c means a 3% raise for us.
It's just Raise for us.
It's just Raise for us.
It's just for law enforcement.
For law enforcement.
For law enforcement.
they're gonna add a half they're gonna add a half they're gonna add a half a cent sales tax.
It's the same A cent sales tax.
It's the same A cent sales tax.
It's the same thing the teachers were trying Thing the teachers were trying Thing the teachers were trying to get last year.
To get last year.
To get last year.
boo! boo! boo! boo teachers.
boo teachers.
boo teachers.
and somebody's gotta go pick and somebody's gotta go pick and somebody's gotta go pick up the ballots, take 'em down to Up the ballots, take 'em down to Up the ballots, take 'em down to be counted.
Be counted.
Be counted.
I'm on that.
I'm on I'm on that.
I'm on I'm on that.
I'm on that list.
That list.
That list.
Jim: I posted it outside.
Jim: I posted it outside.
Jim: I posted it outside.
do trudy and I have to go do trudy and I have to go do trudy and I have to go together? Together? Together? no, you get to go together.
no, you get to go together.
no, you get to go together.
every time there's an every time there's an every time there's an assignment, I get this.
Assignment, I get this.
Assignment, I get this.
yeah, but now it's worse yeah, but now it's worse yeah, but now it's worse 'cause wiegel's got them 'cause wiegel's got them 'cause wiegel's got them pregnancy farts.
Pregnancy farts.
Pregnancy farts.
Trudy: No, no, no.
Those are Trudy: No, no, no.
Those are Trudy: No, no, no.
Those are getting better.
Getting better.
Getting better.
better? Which way do you better? Which way do you better? Which way do you mean? How do you mean? Mean? How do you mean? Mean? How do you mean? for me, better, but others for me, better, but others for me, better, but others Jerry: Right.
trudy: We got the ballots.
trudy: We got the ballots.
trudy: We got the ballots.
keep your fingers crossed for keep your fingers crossed for keep your fingers crossed for us, joe.
Us, joe.
Us, joe.
Woman: Good luck.
Good luck on Woman: Good luck.
Good luck on Woman: Good luck.
Good luck on getting that pay raise that you Getting that pay raise that you Getting that pay raise that you so richly deserve.
So richly deserve.
So richly deserve.
rai: Take a little bit of the rai: Take a little bit of the rai: Take a little bit of the salt off of that, sister.
We do Salt off of that, sister.
We do Salt off of that, sister.
We do deserve it.
Deserve it.
Deserve it.
you know what? I don't you know what? I don't you know what? I don't think you do, actually.
Think you do, actually.
Think you do, actually.
Trudy: What do you do all day, Trudy: What do you do all day, Trudy: What do you do all day, teach kids? Teach kids? Teach kids? Woman: I teach your little Woman: I teach your little Woman: I teach your little crackheads how to read.
Crackheads how to read.
Crackheads how to read.
Trudy: Hey, my crackhead hasn't Trudy: Hey, my crackhead hasn't Trudy: Hey, my crackhead hasn't been born yet, so watch it.
Been born yet, so watch it.
Been born yet, so watch it.
you have an organization of you have an organization of you have an organization of teachers that will come in Teachers that will come in Teachers that will come in called "subs" if y'all don't Called "subs" if y'all don't Called "subs" if y'all don't wanna come to work.
You could Wanna come to work.
You could Wanna come to work.
You could make a living being a sub.
Make a living being a sub.
Make a living being a sub.
it seems like if you're a it seems like if you're a it seems like if you're a jew, you get every damn holiday Jew, you get every damn holiday Jew, you get every damn holiday off.
We don't get a thing.
Off.
We don't get a thing.
Off.
We don't get a thing.
Woman: If you're what? Woman: If you're what? Woman: If you're what? you want me to smack you, you want me to smack you, you want me to smack you, don't you? Don't you? Don't you? woman: Don't you wave your woman: Don't you wave your woman: Don't you wave your stick in my face.
Stick in my face.
Stick in my face.
hey! Get back in the hey! Get back in the hey! Get back in the building! No loitering! Building! No loitering! Building! No loitering! Woman: Now, listen-- Woman: Now, listen-- Woman: Now, listen-- no loitering! Move it! Move no loitering! Move it! Move no loitering! Move it! Move it! Move it! It! Move it! It! Move it! Woman: I'm telling on you.
Woman: I'm telling on you.
Woman: I'm telling on you.
let's go! Move it! You're let's go! Move it! You're let's go! Move it! You're loitering! Loitering! Loitering! I'm telling on you! I'm telling on you! I'm telling on you! get in there, mary kay get in there, mary kay get in there, mary kay laterno! Laterno! Laterno! Trudy: Why don't you go have sex Trudy: Why don't you go have sex Trudy: Why don't you go have sex with one of your students, mary With one of your students, mary With one of your students, mary kay laterno.
Kay laterno.
Kay laterno.
I just said that, trudy.
I just said that, trudy.
I just said that, trudy.
well, I wasn't sure if she well, I wasn't sure if she well, I wasn't sure if she got the reference.
Got the reference.
Got the reference.
get in the car.
I got it.
get in the car.
I got it.
get in the car.
I got it.
Don't you pick it up.
Don't you pick it up.
Don't you pick it up.
no.
No.
I didn't vote.
no.
No.
I didn't vote.
no.
No.
I didn't vote.
shouldn't have to vote for shouldn't have to vote for shouldn't have to vote for what's right.
What's right.
What's right.
you knowI can say my you knowI can say my you knowI can say my people didn't fight for many, People didn't fight for many, People didn't fight for many, many yearsWait.
What was I Many yearsWait.
What was I Many yearsWait.
What was I gonna Gonna Gonna I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
yeah.
My people did fight a yeah.
My people did fight a yeah.
My people did fight a long time ago for voting.
Now I Long time ago for voting.
Now I Long time ago for voting.
Now I don't have to.
That's what my Don't have to.
That's what my Don't have to.
That's what my people fought for me to not People fought for me to not People fought for me to not vote.
They fought that I Vote.
They fought that I Vote.
They fought that I can't--I don't have to vote if I Can't--I don't have to vote if I Can't--I don't have to vote if I don't want to.
Don't want to.
Don't want to.
that's right.
Fought for your that's right.
Fought for your that's right.
Fought for your right not to give a shit.
Right not to give a shit.
Right not to give a shit.
give us the fuckin' money.
give us the fuckin' money.
give us the fuckin' money.
Jeez.
you have the right to remain you have the right to remain you have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and Silent.
Anything you say can and Silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a Will be used against you in a Will be used against you in a court of law.
Court of law.
Court of law.
Woman: Listen to me.
I'm d.
E.
A.
Woman: Listen to me.
I'm d.
E.
A.
Woman: Listen to me.
I'm d.
E.
A.
Deep undercover.
Check my back Deep undercover.
Check my back Deep undercover.
Check my back pocket, left back pocket.
I've Pocket, left back pocket.
I've Pocket, left back pocket.
I've been working on this case a long Been working on this case a long Been working on this case a long time.
All right, you need to Time.
All right, you need to Time.
All right, you need to take us in, but you need to Take us in, but you need to Take us in, but you need to make it look good, ok? You need Make it look good, ok? You need Make it look good, ok? You need to make it look good, ok? Hit To make it look good, ok? Hit To make it look good, ok? Hit me.
Rough me up a little bit.
Me.
Rough me up a little bit.
Me.
Rough me up a little bit.
Rough me up a little bit.
Rough me up a little bit.
Rough me up a little bit.
ow! My ear! Ow! ow! My ear! Ow! ow! My ear! Ow! man: Run, jalucio! man: Run, jalucio! man: Run, jalucio! ow! My ear! ow! My ear! ow! My ear! woman: Go! woman: Go! woman: Go! she cut my ear.
Damn it.
Holy shit.
Son of Damn it.
Holy shit.
Son of Damn it.
Holy shit.
Son of a bitch.
A bitch.
A bitch.
where'd they go? where'd they go? where'd they go? what? what? what? yeah.
Sure.
Goddamn it! man: Buenos dias.
man: Buenos dias.
man: Buenos dias.
how you doing today, sir? how you doing today, sir? how you doing today, sir? Sir, I'd like to thank you in Sir, I'd like to thank you in Sir, I'd like to thank you in advance for your cooperation Advance for your cooperation Advance for your cooperation today on this vehicle search.
Today on this vehicle search.
Today on this vehicle search.
It's a coordinated attempt It's a coordinated attempt It's a coordinated attempt between all the agencies in law Between all the agencies in law Between all the agencies in law enforcement, 14 of us.
Fbi Enforcement, 14 of us.
Fbi Enforcement, 14 of us.
Fbi Desperate times call for random Desperate times call for random Desperate times call for random vehicle searches sometimes.
Vehicle searches sometimes.
Vehicle searches sometimes.
terroristas.
terroristas.
terroristas.
Terroristas.
That's right.
Terroristas.
That's right.
Terroristas.
That's right.
osama bin laden.
osama bin laden.
osama bin laden.
so we don't wanna threaten so we don't wanna threaten so we don't wanna threaten any hardworking citizens, such Any hardworking citizens, such Any hardworking citizens, such as yourself.
We just need to As yourself.
We just need to As yourself.
We just need to kind of look and Caught you, you son of a bitch.
Caught you, you son of a bitch.
Caught you, you son of a bitch.
Gotcha.
Can't fool law Gotcha.
Can't fool law Gotcha.
Can't fool law enforcement.
Enforcement.
Enforcement.
oh.
Naranjas.
$5.
00.
oh.
Naranjas.
$5.
00.
oh.
Naranjas.
$5.
00.
yeah.
Oranges, we call these.
yeah.
Oranges, we call these.
yeah.
Oranges, we call these.
You came from california with You came from california with You came from california with the oranges? Gonna have to write The oranges? Gonna have to write The oranges? Gonna have to write you a ticket.
Think it's up to You a ticket.
Think it's up to You a ticket.
Think it's up to like $35 now.
wow.
Murders, stabbings and wow.
Murders, stabbings and wow.
Murders, stabbings and carjackings are all on the rise, Carjackings are all on the rise, Carjackings are all on the rise, according to the news.
I wish According to the news.
I wish According to the news.
I wish there was a way I could be safe There was a way I could be safe There was a way I could be safe all the time.
I have a wife and All the time.
I have a wife and All the time.
I have a wife and a baby at home.
What will they A baby at home.
What will they A baby at home.
What will they do if I'm stabbed to death? Do if I'm stabbed to death? Do if I'm stabbed to death? well, thanks to police tech, well, thanks to police tech, well, thanks to police tech, now there is the decimator, a Now there is the decimator, a Now there is the decimator, a personal safety device with the Personal safety device with the Personal safety device with the power of 70,000 decibels.
Let's Power of 70,000 decibels.
Let's Power of 70,000 decibels.
Let's try it out.
Try it out.
Try it out.
[siren blares.]
[siren blares.]
[siren blares.]
stop it! stop it! stop it! remember, the decimator is remember, the decimator is remember, the decimator is not a toy.
It's a serious safety Not a toy.
It's a serious safety Not a toy.
It's a serious safety device, and it's not legal in a Device, and it's not legal in a Device, and it's not legal in a few states.
Few states.
Few states.
[loudly.]
well, the police [loudly.]
well, the police [loudly.]
well, the police tech decimator sounds just like Tech decimator sounds just like Tech decimator sounds just like what I need when I've got a wife What I need when I've got a wife What I need when I've got a wife and a baby at home.
And a baby at home.
And a baby at home.
then turn up the volume then turn up the volume then turn up the volume on your safety with On your safety with On your safety with the power of the decimator, The power of the decimator, The power of the decimator, proudly made in north america.
we take you now live to the we take you now live to the we take you now live to the reno sheriff's department, where Reno sheriff's department, where Reno sheriff's department, where a press conference is already in A press conference is already in A press conference is already in progress.
Progress.
Progress.
these pants give me a camel these pants give me a camel these pants give me a camel toe.
Toe.
Toe.
let me look.
That is bad.
let me look.
That is bad.
let me look.
That is bad.
That is not a camel in her That is not a camel in her That is not a camel in her pants, ladies and gentlemen.
Pants, ladies and gentlemen.
Pants, ladies and gentlemen.
camels do not have camels do not have camels do not have "engorfed.
" how do they say? "engorfed.
" how do they say? "engorfed.
" how do they say? Engorged clitoris.
Engorged clitoris.
Engorged clitoris.
ah! ah! ah! And the clitoris was last seen And the clitoris was last seen And the clitoris was last seen at the convenient store riding a At the convenient store riding a At the convenient store riding a buying lottery tickets.
buying lottery tickets.
buying lottery tickets.
Man: Deputy, you're on.
Man: Deputy, you're on.
Man: Deputy, you're on.
You're on.
You're on.
You're on.
it is on the loose.
it is on the loose.
it is on the loose.
it is on the loose and is it is on the loose and is it is on the loose and is Man: You're on the air.
Man: You're on the air.
Man: You're on the air.
uh, hello.
♪ yes on prop c, ♪ yes on prop c, ♪ yes on prop c, proposition c ♪ Proposition c ♪ Proposition c ♪ ♪ did you vote? ♪ ♪ did you vote? ♪ ♪ did you vote? ♪ ♪ no, I did not vote just ♪ no, I did not vote just ♪ no, I did not vote just yet, but I'm going to vote after Yet, but I'm going to vote after Yet, but I'm going to vote after work if I don't get caught up at Work if I don't get caught up at Work if I don't get caught up at the nail place ♪ The nail place ♪ The nail place ♪ ♪ what time do you get off of ♪ what time do you get off of ♪ what time do you get off of work? ♪ Work? ♪ Work? ♪ ♪ I get off at 5:30 ♪ ♪ I get off at 5:30 ♪ ♪ I get off at 5:30 ♪ ♪ don't the polls close at ♪ don't the polls close at ♪ don't the polls close at ♪ no, they close at 8:00, ♪ no, they close at 8:00, ♪ no, they close at 8:00, oh, crap, that doesn't work for Oh, crap, that doesn't work for Oh, crap, that doesn't work for me, I'm supposed to play Me, I'm supposed to play Me, I'm supposed to play darts-- ♪ Darts-- ♪ Darts-- ♪ I don't know why I'm doing that.
I am freaking out.
I am freaking out.
I am freaking out.
I can't believe the answer is I can't believe the answer is I can't believe the answer is right there in these boxes.
Right there in these boxes.
Right there in these boxes.
right there.
You know right there.
You know right there.
You know what I'm saying? It feels like, What I'm saying? It feels like, What I'm saying? It feels like, you know, it's christmas day.
You know, it's christmas day.
You know, it's christmas day.
You see the presents right You see the presents right You see the presents right there, and you just wanna unwrap There, and you just wanna unwrap There, and you just wanna unwrap it.
It.
It.
right.
right.
right.
should we unwrap it? should we unwrap it? should we unwrap it? you think there's presents in you think there's presents in you think there's presents in there? There? There? trudy, there's votes in trudy, there's votes in trudy, there's votes in there.
There.
There.
oh, the ballots.
And then oh, the ballots.
And then oh, the ballots.
And then we could know.
We could know.
We could know.
no, we should not do that.
no, we should not do that.
no, we should not do that.
it's probably not even legal.
it's probably not even legal.
it's probably not even legal.
Is there a peeking law? It's Is there a peeking law? It's Is there a peeking law? It's likeI remember one easter LikeI remember one easter LikeI remember one easter morning when I went downstairs Morning when I went downstairs Morning when I went downstairs to see did the easter bunny To see did the easter bunny To see did the easter bunny come.
Did the easter bunny come? Come.
Did the easter bunny come? Come.
Did the easter bunny come? And I brought with me a dish And I brought with me a dish And I brought with me a dish towel from my fake kitchen that Towel from my fake kitchen that Towel from my fake kitchen that I had in my bedroom.
And I went I had in my bedroom.
And I went I had in my bedroom.
And I went down and I sawHe did come, Down and I sawHe did come, Down and I sawHe did come, and I left the fake dish towel And I left the fake dish towel And I left the fake dish towel by accident.
Later, when my mom By accident.
Later, when my mom By accident.
Later, when my mom and dad came downstairs with me, And dad came downstairs with me, And dad came downstairs with me, and I said, "oh, the easter And I said, "oh, the easter And I said, "oh, the easter bunny has come.
" and the dish Bunny has come.
" and the dish Bunny has come.
" and the dish towel was there, and my mom, she Towel was there, and my mom, she Towel was there, and my mom, she smacked the shit out of me.
Smacked the shit out of me.
Smacked the shit out of me.
We'll just peek.
We're not gonna We'll just peek.
We're not gonna We'll just peek.
We're not gonna change 'em.
Change 'em.
Change 'em.
trudy, listen to me.
Then trudy, listen to me.
Then trudy, listen to me.
Then we're going to put them back.
We're going to put them back.
We're going to put them back.
back.
back.
back.
we just want the information.
we just want the information.
we just want the information.
We wanna know whether we got the We wanna know whether we got the We wanna know whether we got the raise, and we're gonna put them Raise, and we're gonna put them Raise, and we're gonna put them back.
Back.
Back.
Back.
Back.
Back.
Back.
Back.
Back.
put the candle back.
that's the vehicle right that's the vehicle right that's the vehicle right there.
That's the stolen--get There.
That's the stolen--get There.
That's the stolen--get out! Turn your vehicle off! Turn Out! Turn your vehicle off! Turn Out! Turn your vehicle off! Turn it off! Put your hands up where It off! Put your hands up where It off! Put your hands up where we can see 'em! Hands up! Get We can see 'em! Hands up! Get We can see 'em! Hands up! Get your hands up, sir! Now, get out Your hands up, sir! Now, get out Your hands up, sir! Now, get out of the car slow! Slow! You, Of the car slow! Slow! You, Of the car slow! Slow! You, turn around! Right there! Turn around! Right there! Turn around! Right there! Goddamn it.
Shit.
Goddamn, Goddamn it.
Shit.
Goddamn, Goddamn it.
Shit.
Goddamn, that guy's big.
That guy's big.
That guy's big.
what do you wanna do? what do you wanna do? what do you wanna do? fuck it.
You take her.
fuck it.
You take her.
fuck it.
You take her.
Let's go, sir! Put your hands on Let's go, sir! Put your hands on Let's go, sir! Put your hands on the car right now.
Put 'em on The car right now.
Put 'em on The car right now.
Put 'em on the car! Both at the same time! The car! Both at the same time! The car! Both at the same time! what? what? what? slow.
Slow.
slow.
Slow.
slow.
Slow.
spread 'em! You don't have spread 'em! You don't have spread 'em! You don't have any guns, do you, sir? Any guns, do you, sir? Any guns, do you, sir? all right.
Cooperate.
all right.
Cooperate.
all right.
Cooperate.
I got nothing.
I got nothing.
I got nothing.
I've got a loaded weapon, I've got a loaded weapon, I've got a loaded weapon, sir.
Do not be stupid.
Sir.
Do not be stupid.
Sir.
Do not be stupid.
come here.
come here.
come here.
all right, sir, put your left all right, sir, put your left all right, sir, put your left hand behind your back.
Hand behind your back.
Hand behind your back.
fancy meeting you here.
fancy meeting you here.
fancy meeting you here.
how's it going? How's the how's it going? How's the how's it going? How's the investigation going? Investigation going? Investigation going? I am so close.
You guys I am so close.
You guys I am so close.
You guys have perfect goddamn timing.
I Have perfect goddamn timing.
I Have perfect goddamn timing.
I have so much information.
Have so much information.
Have so much information.
Tonight there's gonna be a big Tonight there's gonna be a big Tonight there's gonna be a big bust.
Take us in now.
Now.
It's Bust.
Take us in now.
Now.
It's Bust.
Take us in now.
Now.
It's got to look real.
Got to look real.
Got to look real.
look real? All right, come look real? All right, come look real? All right, come on! Come on, girl! On! Come on, girl! On! Come on, girl! no! Fuck you, copper! No! no! Fuck you, copper! No! no! Fuck you, copper! No! you're getting in the car! you're getting in the car! you're getting in the car! fuck you! Fuck you! fuck you! Fuck you! fuck you! Fuck you! get up in here! Get up in get up in here! Get up in get up in here! Get up in here! Spread 'em! Oh, god.
Here! Spread 'em! Oh, god.
Here! Spread 'em! Oh, god.
you'll never get me! you'll never get me! you'll never get me! oh, my god.
oh, my god.
oh, my god.
fuck you! fuck you! fuck you! ohh! oh, dear god.
Oh, dear god.
oh, dear god.
Oh, dear god.
oh, dear god.
Oh, dear god.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
cover me.
Son of a bitch.
cover me.
Son of a bitch.
cover me.
Son of a bitch.
go.
Go, joe.
Go.
Down.
go.
Go, joe.
Go.
Down.
go.
Go, joe.
Go.
Down.
Dangle.
Dangle.
Down, junior.
Dangle.
Dangle.
Down, junior.
Dangle.
Dangle.
Down, junior.
Down.
He's got a uzi.
He's got Down.
He's got a uzi.
He's got Down.
He's got a uzi.
He's got an uzi.
An uzi.
An uzi.
I am from the future.
I am I am from the future.
I am I am from the future.
I am from the future! From the future! From the future! he's from the future? Son of he's from the future? Son of he's from the future? Son of a bitch.
A bitch.
A bitch.
All: Sir, no! No, sir! Calm All: Sir, no! No, sir! Calm All: Sir, no! No, sir! Calm down! Down! Down! > get down.
Oh, my god.
> get down.
Oh, my god.
> get down.
Oh, my god.
I was sent here because I was sent here because I was sent here because there's a war, a war between the There's a war, a war between the There's a war, a war between the computers and the humans and the Computers and the humans and the Computers and the humans and the dogs and the cats.
You get your Dogs and the cats.
You get your Dogs and the cats.
You get your gun.
You put down your gun.
Gun.
You put down your gun.
Gun.
You put down your gun.
I'm gonna put this down.
I'm gonna put this down.
I'm gonna put this down.
if you take off your pants, if you take off your pants, if you take off your pants, I'll drop the gun.
I'll drop the gun.
I'll drop the gun.
calm down.
Calm down.
calm down.
Calm down.
calm down.
Calm down.
why not put down the gun? why not put down the gun? why not put down the gun? I'll drop the gun if you take I'll drop the gun if you take I'll drop the gun if you take off your pants.
Off your pants.
Off your pants.
you'll drop the gun if we you'll drop the gun if we you'll drop the gun if we take off our pants? Take off our pants? Take off our pants? how do I know you're not how do I know you're not how do I know you're not computers? Computers? Computers? we're not computers.
we're not computers.
we're not computers.
take off your pants.
Take take off your pants.
Take take off your pants.
Take off your pants.
Off your pants.
Off your pants.
ok, ok.
ok, ok.
ok, ok.
we're taking 'em off, sir.
we're taking 'em off, sir.
we're taking 'em off, sir.
take off your pants.
take off your pants.
take off your pants.
we're taking 'em off.
we're taking 'em off.
we're taking 'em off.
ok, ok.
Mine's going.
ok, ok.
Mine's going.
ok, ok.
Mine's going.
in the future, everyone has in the future, everyone has in the future, everyone has no clothes.
The computers will No clothes.
The computers will No clothes.
The computers will sensitize you.
Sensitize you.
Sensitize you.
they will sensitize you.
they will sensitize you.
they will sensitize you.
they look into your retina.
they look into your retina.
they look into your retina.
They sensitize you.
They sensitize you.
They sensitize you.
yes.
Yes.
yes.
Yes.
yes.
Yes.
clear.
Clear.
clear.
Clear.
clear.
Clear.
ok.
Hey! ok.
Hey! ok.
Hey! guys, I have the uzi now.
guys, I have the uzi now.
guys, I have the uzi now.
don't fucking point it at me.
don't fucking point it at me.
don't fucking point it at me.
I have the uzi.
Lie down.
I have the uzi.
Lie down.
I have the uzi.
Lie down.
On the ground, ok? Lie down On the ground, ok? Lie down On the ground, ok? Lie down on the ground in the present.
On the ground in the present.
On the ground in the present.
Lie down into the present.
Lie down into the present.
Lie down into the present.
this is humiliating! this is humiliating! this is humiliating! Humiliating! I don't like it! Humiliating! I don't like it! Humiliating! I don't like it! he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, apparently.
Apparently.
Apparently.
sir, have you done any sir, have you done any sir, have you done any substances today? Substances today? Substances today? I'm gonna see you in court I'm gonna see you in court I'm gonna see you in court and sue you like your mother And sue you like your mother And sue you like your mother didn't know.
Like your mother Didn't know.
Like your mother Didn't know.
Like your mother didn't know! Like your mother Didn't know! Like your mother Didn't know! Like your mother didn't know! Didn't know! Didn't know! he's gonna sue us like our he's gonna sue us like our he's gonna sue us like our mother didn't know.
Mother didn't know.
Mother didn't know.
son of a bitch'd probably son of a bitch'd probably son of a bitch'd probably win, too.
Win, too.
Win, too.
he's got a case.
once again I am going to ask once again I am going to ask once again I am going to ask you in english, where is the You in english, where is the You in english, where is the stuff? Stuff? Stuff? get him.
get him.
get him.
all I know is carlos.
all I know is carlos.
all I know is carlos.
That's all I know.
That's all I know.
That's all I know.
all you know is carlos.
all you know is carlos.
all you know is carlos.
he lives out there in he lives out there in he lives out there in california somewhere.
He has a California somewhere.
He has a California somewhere.
He has a taco stand.
Taco stand.
Taco stand.
great.
He's got a taco stand.
great.
He's got a taco stand.
great.
He's got a taco stand.
Well, listen.
The longer that Well, listen.
The longer that Well, listen.
The longer that you do this, the longer you're You do this, the longer you're You do this, the longer you're gonna spend time here in jail.
Gonna spend time here in jail.
Gonna spend time here in jail.
So why don't you just come So why don't you just come So why don't you just come forward? Forward? Forward? I told you, all I know is I told you, all I know is I told you, all I know is carlos.
He lives in california, Carlos.
He lives in california, Carlos.
He lives in california, and he owns two taco stands.
And he owns two taco stands.
And he owns two taco stands.
ok, great.
Great.
ok, great.
Great.
ok, great.
Great.
that's all.
that's all.
that's all.
babbling about carlos and babbling about carlos and babbling about carlos and enrique and taco stands in Enrique and taco stands in Enrique and taco stands in california.
California.
California.
and you're taking notes, and you're taking notes, and you're taking notes, aren't you? Well, let me tell Aren't you? Well, let me tell Aren't you? Well, let me tell you something.
You're asking the You something.
You're asking the You something.
You're asking the wrong thing, ok? Who is onagi, Wrong thing, ok? Who is onagi, Wrong thing, ok? Who is onagi, and what is his last name? And what is his last name? And what is his last name? his last name.
his last name.
his last name.
ok? Got it? ok? Got it? ok? Got it? ok.
ok.
ok.
there is no such thing as there is no such thing as there is no such thing as anything he's talking about.
We Anything he's talking about.
We Anything he's talking about.
We need to know if there's a Need to know if there's a Need to know if there's a bicoastal thing around here, and Bicoastal thing around here, and Bicoastal thing around here, and there's a bigger fish than him.
There's a bigger fish than him.
There's a bigger fish than him.
And we need that name, ok? Who And we need that name, ok? Who And we need that name, ok? Who is his supplier? Is his supplier? Is his supplier? supplier.
supplier.
supplier.
there are kids-- there are kids-- there are kids-- oh, shit.
oh, shit.
oh, shit.
oh, god.
Shit.
oh, god.
Shit.
oh, god.
Shit.
[both yelling.]
officers down.
officers down.
officers down.
son of a bitch.
Damn.
son of a bitch.
Damn.
son of a bitch.
Damn.
Woman: We're getting out of Woman: We're getting out of Woman: We're getting out of here! Here! Here! [gunshots.]
[gunshots.]
[gunshots.]
woman: I'm so sorry, guys.
I Woman: I'm so sorry, guys.
I Woman: I'm so sorry, guys.
I had to do it.
Tonight, midnight, Had to do it.
Tonight, midnight, Had to do it.
Tonight, midnight, out of here! Out of here! Out of here! 1600.
1600.
1600.
1600.
1600.
1600.
arlington.
Midnight.
arlington.
Midnight.
arlington.
Midnight.
I can't ride left-handed.
you don't see a lot of prop c you don't see a lot of prop c you don't see a lot of prop c signs in the yards.
Have you Signs in the yards.
Have you Signs in the yards.
Have you noticed that? Noticed that? Noticed that? you don't.
you don't.
you don't.
you don't.
You see a lot of you don't.
You see a lot of you don't.
You see a lot of "no" on that sewage thing.
"no" on that sewage thing.
"no" on that sewage thing.
you know, I've figured out you know, I've figured out you know, I've figured out who's been taking these prop Who's been taking these prop Who's been taking these prop c, 'cause there's all these big C, 'cause there's all these big C, 'cause there's all these big c's on the yard.
Over in C's on the yard.
Over in C's on the yard.
Over in treky, they've got a guy Treky, they've got a guy Treky, they've got a guy running for councilman named Running for councilman named Running for councilman named larry hunt.
Larry hunt.
Larry hunt.
oh, I get it.
oh, I get it.
oh, I get it.
and it says, "we want hunt.
" and it says, "we want hunt.
" and it says, "we want hunt.
" and people have been taking the And people have been taking the And people have been taking the c's and running 'em over to C's and running 'em over to C's and running 'em over to treky.
Treky.
Treky.
right.
right.
right.
it's pretty funny, though, it's pretty funny, though, it's pretty funny, though, when you drive around.
When you drive around.
When you drive around.
it's clever, but I feel like it's clever, but I feel like it's clever, but I feel like that could really hurt our That could really hurt our That could really hurt our chances.
Chances.
Chances.
yeah.
we lost.
Man.
we lost.
Man.
we lost.
Man.
you think so for sure? you think so for sure? you think so for sure? I know so for sure.
We lost I know so for sure.
We lost I know so for sure.
We lost by like 70%.
It's like a By like 70%.
It's like a By like 70%.
It's like a landslide.
30,000 votes against Landslide.
30,000 votes against Landslide.
30,000 votes against us.
Us.
Us.
that's a lot of votes, huh? that's a lot of votes, huh? that's a lot of votes, huh? It's--hey, let's look on the It's--hey, let's look on the It's--hey, let's look on the bright side.
At least it wasn't Bright side.
At least it wasn't Bright side.
At least it wasn't more to count.
Yeah.
We lost.
We More to count.
Yeah.
We lost.
We More to count.
Yeah.
We lost.
We lost big-time.
Oh, well.
Say Lost big-time.
Oh, well.
Say Lost big-time.
Oh, well.
Say good-bye to that wet bar I was Good-bye to that wet bar I was Good-bye to that wet bar I was gonna put in.
Gonna put in.
Gonna put in.
what are we gonna do? what are we gonna do? what are we gonna do? I don't know, rai.
I don't I don't know, rai.
I don't I don't know, rai.
I don't know.
I mean, there's nothing to Know.
I mean, there's nothing to Know.
I mean, there's nothing to do, except, you know, well, Do, except, you know, well, Do, except, you know, well, like 30,000 votes are just gonna Like 30,000 votes are just gonna Like 30,000 votes are just gonna disappear.
got a humongous bust tonight.
got a humongous bust tonight.
got a humongous bust tonight.
Crystal meth.
Whoo! I tell you, Crystal meth.
Whoo! I tell you, Crystal meth.
Whoo! I tell you, we needed this one.
We needed We needed this one.
We needed We needed this one.
We needed this one.
Well done, people.
This one.
Well done, people.
This one.
Well done, people.
Well done.
Well done, garcia.
Well done.
Well done, garcia.
Well done.
Well done, garcia.
Holy moats.
Well done, trudy.
Holy moats.
Well done, trudy.
Holy moats.
Well done, trudy.
good work, partner.
Good good work, partner.
Good good work, partner.
Good work.
Good.
Good.
Work.
Good.
Good.
Work.
Good.
Good.
hi.
We got a big problem.
Not hi.
We got a big problem.
Not hi.
We got a big problem.
Not the big fish.
He sent his The big fish.
He sent his The big fish.
He sent his rookies.
Those are kids over Rookies.
Those are kids over Rookies.
Those are kids over there.
Kids.
There.
Kids.
There.
Kids.
we've got about 4 pounds of we've got about 4 pounds of we've got about 4 pounds of meth right over there.
Meth right over there.
Meth right over there.
I'm talking 175 kilos.
175 I'm talking 175 kilos.
175 I'm talking 175 kilos.
175 kilos.
He sent these guys.
You Kilos.
He sent these guys.
You Kilos.
He sent these guys.
You got to let us go.
You got to let Got to let us go.
You got to let Got to let us go.
You got to let us go.
This is not who you want.
Us go.
This is not who you want.
Us go.
This is not who you want.
I'm telling you.
I'm telling I'm telling you.
I'm telling I'm telling you.
I'm telling you.
You.
You.
all right.
Take the car.
fuck.
fuck.
fuck.
you're gonna be all right? you're gonna be all right? you're gonna be all right? Rai: Whoa! Hey! Hey! Rai: Whoa! Hey! Hey! Rai: Whoa! Hey! Hey! the squad car! the squad car! the squad car! where was I? Oh.
Teamwork.
We where was I? Oh.
Teamwork.
We where was I? Oh.
Teamwork.
We put teamwork number one.
>>you see that ? >>you see that ? >>you see that ? "bungled bust.
Reno sheriff's "bungled bust.
Reno sheriff's "bungled bust.
Reno sheriff's department makes a meth of Department makes a meth of Department makes a meth of things.
" Things.
" Things.
" you did good.
You still did You did good.
You still did You did good.
You still did good.
Good.
Good.
thank you.
thank you.
thank you.
good job.
good job.
good job.
andHello.
Bar-um! andHello.
Bar-um! andHello.
Bar-um! All: Whoo! All: Whoo! All: Whoo! cha-ching! cha-ching! cha-ching! Rai: All right, baby! Rai: All right, baby! Rai: All right, baby! dinner and drinks on me.
dinner and drinks on me.
dinner and drinks on me.
all right.
We'll take it.
all right.
We'll take it.
all right.
We'll take it.
"prop c passes in "prop c passes in "prop c passes in landslide, meaning law Landslide, meaning law Landslide, meaning law enforcement officials will not Enforcement officials will not Enforcement officials will not receive the 3% raise" Receive the 3% raise" Receive the 3% raise" what? what? what? that must be a typo.
that must be a typo.
that must be a typo.
"meaning law enforcement "meaning law enforcement "meaning law enforcement Will not receive the 3% raise.
" Will not receive the 3% raise.
" Will not receive the 3% raise.
" that's a typo.
that's a typo.
that's a typo.
that can't be right.
that can't be right.
that can't be right.
"prop c" "meaning not to "prop c" "meaning not to "prop c" "meaning not to injunct a levied sales tax" Injunct a levied sales tax" Injunct a levied sales tax" not to injunct.
not to injunct.
not to injunct.
what does that mean? what does that mean? what does that mean? doesDoes doesDoes doesDoes is "injunct" good or bad? is "injunct" good or bad? is "injunct" good or bad? did a "yes" on c mean we did a "yes" on c mean we did a "yes" on c mean we don't get a raise? Don't get a raise? Don't get a raise? aw, son of a bitch.
aw, son of a bitch.
aw, son of a bitch.
what does it stay on our what does it stay on our what does it stay on our bumper sticker on the car? What Bumper sticker on the car? What Bumper sticker on the car? What the fuck.
The fuck.
The fuck.
[all talking.]
[all talking.]
[all talking.]
if you're saying "yes," then if you're saying "yes," then if you're saying "yes," then you're saying "no.
" You're saying "no.
" You're saying "no.
" a "yes" means "yes, I don't a "yes" means "yes, I don't a "yes" means "yes, I don't wanna give a 3% raise to the Wanna give a 3% raise to the Wanna give a 3% raise to the sheriff's department.
" Sheriff's department.
" Sheriff's department.
" "vote no on c.
" "vote no on c.
" "vote no on c.
" damn it.
damn it.
damn it.
bumper sticker on every bumper sticker on every bumper sticker on every fucking cop car in that parking Fucking cop car in that parking Fucking cop car in that parking lot.
"vote no on c.
" Lot.
"vote no on c.
" Lot.
"vote no on c.
" no, meaning "no, I don't want no, meaning "no, I don't want no, meaning "no, I don't want to prevent law enforcement from To prevent law enforcement from To prevent law enforcement from getting a raise.
" Getting a raise.
" Getting a raise.
" those goddamn citizens.
those goddamn citizens.
those goddamn citizens.
fuck the citizens.
Fuck fuck the citizens.
Fuck fuck the citizens.
Fuck 'em.
'em.
'em.
fuck reno.
Fuck the fuck reno.
Fuck the fuck reno.
Fuck the people.
People.
People.
goddamn citizens of reno are goddamn citizens of reno are goddamn citizens of reno are out to fuck us all the time.
Out to fuck us all the time.
Out to fuck us all the time.
yeah, what were they yeah, what were they yeah, what were they thinking? Thinking? Thinking? response time's gonna be response time's gonna be response time's gonna be a little bit slower this year.
A little bit slower this year.
A little bit slower this year.
unplug the phone today.
unplug the phone today.
unplug the phone today.
jerks.
where are my pants? where are my pants? where are my pants? your pants are in the future, your pants are in the future, your pants are in the future, sir.
We can't get 'em.
Sir.
We can't get 'em.
Sir.
We can't get 'em.
I'll be back--in about 18 I'll be back--in about 18 I'll be back--in about 18 seconds, I'm gonna disappear.
Seconds, I'm gonna disappear.
Seconds, I'm gonna disappear.
ok, great.
He's gonna ok, great.
He's gonna ok, great.
He's gonna disappear.
Let's wait for that.
Disappear.
Let's wait for that.
Disappear.
Let's wait for that.
you wanna go by my watch? 15, you wanna go by my watch? 15, you wanna go by my watch? 15, yet.
Yet.
Yet.
act like he disappeared.
act like he disappeared.
act like he disappeared.
9 9 9 holyshit.
Where did he go? holyshit.
Where did he go? holyshit.
Where did he go? where did he go? He must've where did he go? He must've where did he go? He must've been taken back to the year Been taken back to the year Been taken back to the year mtv networks.]
Mtv networks.]
Mtv networks.]