Van Helsing (2016) s04e10 Episode Script
Together Forever
1 Previously on "Van Helsing" I think I know where those pages are.
But we got to move, right now! None of this is what I wanted.
Yeah, well, I'm still a prisoner here.
What if I could change that? I raised them to be strong.
Perhaps we underestimated them both.
[GUNFIRE.]
[CRASH.]
[SCREAMS.]
What's this? If you ever need me, follow it.
You'll find me.
How's the catch of the day? Pickins are getting slim, but a good haul none the less.
Uh-huh.
Well, this one looks like she's got some potential.
She put up a decent fight.
Why the gag? Foul language? Bit of a biter.
Dirty.
Love it.
Good.
Please let me go.
[SOBBING.]
Please, please please.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Wah, wah.
[MAKES BUZZER SOUND.]
[SOBBING.]
Please.
Awkward.
[LAUGHS.]
That's your cue.
That's your cue.
I don't know how more obvious [SCREAMING.]
Shut up! Okay.
Subpar merchandise means you get half the usual rate.
Half? Come on, Darius.
I lost men.
Getting sloppy, are we? It's 'cause of this one.
- She's a diamond in the rough, I tell ya.
- Please.
A stiff breeze could blow her over.
She took out three of my best herders without even trying.
She's worth half alone.
Don't fib now.
Hand to God.
Did you hear that? He stakes his reputation on you.
Oh, pretty.
I do like sparkly things.
Don't touch that.
She's got spunk.
Damn right.
Why don't you untie me and find out how spunky I am? She is the perfect underdog.
You put her in there with one of your regulars, she beats the odds, ratings go through the roof.
And if you're wrong? Next batch is free of charge.
But if I'm right and she proves it I get full price and 10 percent bump on my contract.
Deal? Good.
Yes.
Son of a bitch! Give that back! Save it for the ring.
And you better not disappoint.
Bye, thank you very much! (DARIUS) You can take them away.
Thanks so much everyone.
I'll be rooting for ya.
Home, sweet home.
You two get along now.
(JULIUS) So they caught you too huh? - Julius? - Vi! Hey.
Welcome to hell.
Van Helsing 4x10 Together Forever How did you end up in here? My mama always said help the helpless.
Turns out they weren't.
What is this place? The worst of us.
We gotta break out of here.
I've been looking for weak points.
But there is none.
There's cameras everywhere.
Yeah, and armed guards patrolling the perimeter.
Every inch of this place has eyes on you.
They want us to fight.
For what? Entertainment.
We're not gonna put on a show for anybody.
Vanessa gave me a mission and I'm gonna see it through.
Vanessa? You found Vanessa? Where is she? [VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
Oh, shit.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Shit.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Woah.
Hey, woah, woah, woah.
Easy.
Who are you? I ain't the Easter Bunny.
I said who are you? I'm not gonna hurt you.
What do you want? I'd be a lot more inclined to answer your questions if you put that thing down.
Tough shit.
I'm looking for a friend.
Can't help you.
What're you doing? Where's Vanessa? Where is she? Look I'm a friend, you can trust me.
She's gone.
What do you mean, she's gone? She sacrificed herself to save me and my sister.
Bullshit.
She gave me this thing to find her wherever she was.
For some reason it's pointing straight at you.
Why? Because I'm her daughter.
What? Those Blak-Tek bastards, they made us, too.
Me and my sister.
Just like they made her.
So she's really gone? But I plan on getting her back.
I just remember like this white light beam, and then Vanessa and the Dark One both fell into it.
Vanessa is still alive.
I don't know how I know, I just do.
If I can get those pages and put it all tog First thing is we get out of here.
No, I need that amulet first.
Wait, what pages? And what amulet? It holds the Dark One's blood.
Vanessa entrusted it to me and now that psycho has it.
We need that amulet, Julius.
Then we get the pages that tell us how to open the portal.
Okay, okay.
Just ease up, alright? We'll get out.
Together.
I'm sorry, Violet.
For what? For leaving you in Fort Collins.
I should have brought you with me.
I wasn't ready.
But then I saw the truth with my own eyes and learned who I really was and what I have to do.
Cue music.
Places, places everyone.
What kind of Mad Max shit is this? I told you.
Human cock fighting.
And they really like to jazz it up.
That satellite truck outside? They're broadcasting this somewhere.
To someone.
To some sickos who get off on the murder of innocent people.
This is unbelievable.
You ain't seen nothing yet, kid.
When your number gets called, no matter what happens, you get out alive.
Look, you gotta listen to me.
You are so important in all of this.
So in there, you're not Violet anymore.
You understand? Five, four, three, cue fake applause.
Heathens! Ne'er-do-wells, delinquents.
I am your magnificent and magnanimous MC for the evening, Darius, and tonight I have a special show for you my lovelies, one that is sure to entertain you.
See, normally I make you wait until the main event to witness his brutality.
But even I can't wait for this first match up.
So shall we get started? Yes, I say we shall.
First up, please welcome the one you love to fear.
Carnage! [LOUD THUNDEROUS VOICE.]
I am Carnage! You're a killer.
Maybe I'll pick you next, Tiny.
[BARKS.]
[LAUGHS.]
And his first victim, or shall I say "challenger", a little, uh, firecracker of a filly.
The beauty that slays beasts, The Slayer! Showtime.
No, no.
Look.
You can't.
She's she's just a kid, alright? Take me.
He wanted to fight me! He wanted to fight me! Take me! It's not your time.
Make it my time.
[GROANS.]
Julius! Julius! I'll go! Okay, I'll go! You don't understand.
You've never fought anyone like him.
You lose, he takes your head.
Now.
There's no coming back! Come on! [LAUGHS.]
Woohoo! Yes! It's the time you've all been waiting for! It's really I'm very excited because I have a very, very special show for you this evening.
One of biblical proportions and when I say proportions I sincerely mean it because here right now tonight we have our very own David versus Goliath.
Female David, but even better, really.
It's gonna be fun.
Are we ready? - I said are we ready? - Vi? You're gonna get through this, just concentrate on my voice, alright? This is the real deal, kid.
Fight for your life.
I asked you for a challenge and you send me this? I can crush ten of her with one hand.
I'd like to see that.
We have one last teeny-tiny order of business before we begin the festivities and you know what that is.
The wheel of death! [LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
Here we go.
Let fate run its course like the blood in their veins! Have you made your peace with your maker? I've got things I still have to do.
Yeah, me too and I'm gonna end you.
(DARIUS) Here she goes.
Here she goes.
Where it stops nobody knows.
Oh.
The haladie.
The haladie.
Twice as nice because it's got twice the slice.
Are my combatants ready? Showtime.
Begin.
No.
No! Where you goin'? You're not getting away from me.
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
Dumb move, kid.
That was your last.
Remember the soft spots! Shut your mouth! [GROANS.]
How's that for a soft spot? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! Right in the ball sack.
[GROWLS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
Oh, no, no.
Ohhhhh!!!!! It's not the size of the dog in the fight but the fight of the dog in the blah, blah, blah.
You know.
Come here! You see that? That's not gonna help you, little girl.
Get outta there! Move, move, move, move! [FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
It doesn't have to end this way.
It always ends this way.
I promise, I won't let you suffer.
I told you I wanted a challenge! Come on, Vi.
He's too big.
Improvise.
[COUGHS.]
Ooh.
[GROANS.]
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
No.
No.
I can't die.
I'm sorry.
You said if I got if I got 20 wins I could leave.
Find my family.
It's over! Okay? We put on a show just like you asked! Yes, but you've left out the best part.
One second.
Uh, here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here, here, here.
Finish him.
I'm no executioner.
Aren't you? You son of a bitch.
We had a deal.
Which you failed to live up to.
I'll see you in hell.
[DARIUS LAUGHS.]
What a show.
What an upset! Sadly, the Slayer did not live up to her name, but I'm sure she'll learn soon enough.
For now, toodle-oo, my lovelies.
Toodle-oo, my lovelies, till next time! Till next time! [LAUGHS.]
And cameras are cut.
You will learn to take direction.
Or what? Oh, the show goes on, but it's you that gets cancelled.
[SPITS.]
So these, um, pages.
What do they do, exactly? They open the portal to where Vanessa and the Dark One went.
I think.
And you actually saw the Dark One? If it weren't for Vanessa.
We'll find your sister.
Damn right we will.
[LAUGHS.]
You probably are her daughter.
You two were close? In our own way, I guess.
Not sure if I ever really knew her.
It was the weight of what she was, you know? She the things she had to do, what people expected of her.
Just cast a big shadow.
She tried to do good, even if it meant doing some things that people couldn't live with.
She was fierce, she was determined, but she loved her daughter more than just about anything on the planet.
Probably would have loved you, too, if she had the chance.
Well, that's all we're gonna get out of that.
Feels like we were just getting started.
Yeah, well.
I'm gonna get her back.
Me and my sister.
And then together we'll put an end to all of them.
(TAPE) but I am sure she will learn soon enough.
[KNOCKING.]
Entrez-vous, s'il vous plait.
I had such high hopes for you.
But clearly one of us got ahead of ourselves.
Mmm.
Sweet, sweet Slayer.
My name is Violet.
I don't care.
Why are you doing this? Good times or bad, people always need entertainment, my dear.
What people? Where? I would be more concerned with what is happening right here, Slayer.
Stop calling me that.
Someone is supposed to die! You broke that rule.
Argh! Rules maintain order.
Without them there is chaos.
Not unlike the wastelands you've been trying to survive out there.
And in here? Chaos is a shit show you call entertainment.
Breaking the rules usually means death, but I like your spunk.
And my audience deserves to see your full potential, so I'm giving you another chance.
Colour me merciful.
I won't kill for you.
You haven't even heard what I have to offer you.
It doesn't matter.
- Really? - Really.
Become my ultimate champion and I will send you to a place unaffected by vampires, where everyone will cheer your name and you will never live in fear again.
Shangri-La.
That doesn't exist.
Really? Who do you think is watching? You don't have any choice, Slayer.
You either murder for the masses or it's off with your head.
Good.
Good chat, thank you.
Take her away.
I won't kill innocent people just to save myself! You hear me? You will, Slayer.
They all do.
[LAUGHING.]
Ouch.
What a come from behind victory, folks! I could have done without the tears, but there's something about a snivelling coward turning ruthless killer that really gets my blood flowing.
[LAUGHING.]
Wooo! They made me kill her.
I didn't want to.
I didn't want to! [DARIUS MOCKING.]
I didn't want to! I didn't want to! You made me do it! I had to do it.
Guilty, you did have to do it.
I didn't want to.
They made me.
I had to do it.
And we'll be right back after this short break.
(DIRECTOR) Cut! Good, are we cut? Good.
(JULIUS) I say we risk it.
I'll take the brunt of the fire while you take him out.
No need.
I have an idea.
(VIOLET) Get your big hands off me, you ape! I'm gonna kill you, you little runt! (GUARD) You two, knock it off! Get them outta there! They're no good to me if they kill each other off camera! Let's go.
I'm gonna rip your face off! I'm gonna kill you, you little runt! - I am going to get you first! - I'm gonna end you! I'm gonna end your face! I'm gonna end you! Spit on you and spit on your corpse! [LAUGHING.]
Easy, Slayer.
Easy, Slayer.
You'll get your chance.
Change the fight card.
These two go next.
(DIRECTOR) Yes, sir.
The compass says she must be in there.
I only see two of them but they're like roaches.
You know there's more inside.
What is this place? I don't know.
But I bet they get shit reviews on Yelp.
Hey! Where are you going?! To rescue Violet.
Not without a plan, you're not.
Bullets might not kill us but they hurt like hell.
Those are four gauge shotgun shells those guys are carrying.
They'll take your head clean off.
Ain't no healing from that.
So what's the plan? I'm thinking.
Anytime now Okay, okay, look.
We're gonna get your sister.
Here's how.
There's two guards, right? Here and here.
I ghost around the fence line, distract them, do a little jazz hands.
You sneak around here [DISTANT SCREAMS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Okay, new plan.
We follow them.
Welcome back, my lovelies! Oh, ho, ho! You know, I'm feeling a little, uh, naughty this evening.
Maybe it's something in the air.
But next up I bring you the rarest of occurrences.
You know her, you love her.
In her second match of the evening here to slay yet another giant, the Slayer! Yes.
And her opponent, the hulking brute from parts unknown, the Yeti.
Let the games begin, shall we? Round and round she spins, where she stops will split your skin.
[CLATTER.]
Ok, now um, you two don't play nice, now.
Wink, wink.
And go! Ooh, and the Slayer draws first blood.
[GROWLS.]
Hey! [SCREAMS.]
[GROWLING.]
At least they're taking care of the hard part for us.
I hate to tell ya, eventually they are the hard part.
Watch your step.
[SPITS.]
Ouch.
Little bit of a left hook.
Let's do this.
Come on! Boring.
[LAUGHTER SOUNDS.]
Come on! I can't.
Do it.
Or we're gonna die.
Let's go! [CHARGING CRIES.]
Okay, okay, okay.
Pause.
Wait.
Time to even the playing field.
Timber! [CLATTER.]
[CHARGING CRIES.]
Yeti down, ladies and gentlemen.
It's now or never, kid.
Kill her! [GUNSHOT.]
[CLAPPING.]
Wonderful.
Bravo, Slayer.
Show's over, psycho! Au contraire.
It would appear that the show has just begun.
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
No.
I killed you in Denver! Only your love died there.
No! [GUNSHOTS.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
[CLICKING.]
Scab!!! This time I'm gonna make sure you die.
With my bare hands.
[SCREAMING.]
Julius! Sorry, kid.
This one's personal.
You, you will not escape this time, Van Helsing! Argh!!!!! [FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
Vi! Jack! [GROWLING.]
[EVIL LAUGH.]
Don't shoot! He has the amulet! I'm on it! Looks like that's my cue, my lovelies.
To be continued.
Julius? Axel! [SCREAMING.]
No, no, no, no, no! He's mine! If you say so.
I suppose you've got this covered, too, huh? Go help my sister! Good luck, big guy.
Hey, asshole! - [COCKS GUN.]
- Down! [GUNSHOTS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
This is gold.
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
[SCREECHING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
You know what I wanna hear! I'll never say it! Damn right you won't.
[SCREAMS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
You're gonna pay for that, human! [SCREAMS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
Julius! I hope your vengeance was worth your life.
[SCREAMING.]
[VOMITING.]
[LAUGHING AND SOBBING.]
[LAUGHING AND SOBBING.]
I'm I'm [LAUGHING AND SOBBING.]
Human Just give us the amulet.
And then what? You're just gonna let me walk away? (AXEL) Now you're getting it.
That's not exactly must see TV, people.
Come and get it! [GUNSHOTS.]
Can't believe we're negotiating with a moron in the goddamn apocalypse.
Oh, hey.
Nice of you to join us.
I see you've been busy.
Yeah.
Why kill when I can save? What're you gonna do about her? I got this.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Look at me.
I've been where you are.
I've just spent such a long time in darkness.
I know.
The Van Helsings have my loyalty for freeing me.
Come on.
Are we good? Yeah.
She's with us now.
So what's the plan? He's locked himself in his room and he's throwing a tantrum.
Did you ever play football? Well, my lovelies, it appears that this may be the end but I can assure you I won't be signing off without a a big finale, like when Edward R.
Murrow wished you a goodnight, and good luck.
Or when Sam Malone uttered those immortal words "Sorry, we're closed".
No, this will be TV history.
[LAUGHS.]
Don't mind me, I'm just passing through.
Whatever this is, just make it good.
Three, two, one.
[GUNFIRE.]
Let's go! Whoever's watching this disgusting shit, you're the problem.
You call this entertainment? You watch real people suffer just so you can feel better about your own pathetic lives.
We're fighting to save humanity, so this ends now.
Show's over, mother[CENSORED.]
! As you can see, the rumours of the woman who can turn vampires human are true.
How would you like to proceed, Madam President?
But we got to move, right now! None of this is what I wanted.
Yeah, well, I'm still a prisoner here.
What if I could change that? I raised them to be strong.
Perhaps we underestimated them both.
[GUNFIRE.]
[CRASH.]
[SCREAMS.]
What's this? If you ever need me, follow it.
You'll find me.
How's the catch of the day? Pickins are getting slim, but a good haul none the less.
Uh-huh.
Well, this one looks like she's got some potential.
She put up a decent fight.
Why the gag? Foul language? Bit of a biter.
Dirty.
Love it.
Good.
Please let me go.
[SOBBING.]
Please, please please.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Wah, wah.
[MAKES BUZZER SOUND.]
[SOBBING.]
Please.
Awkward.
[LAUGHS.]
That's your cue.
That's your cue.
I don't know how more obvious [SCREAMING.]
Shut up! Okay.
Subpar merchandise means you get half the usual rate.
Half? Come on, Darius.
I lost men.
Getting sloppy, are we? It's 'cause of this one.
- She's a diamond in the rough, I tell ya.
- Please.
A stiff breeze could blow her over.
She took out three of my best herders without even trying.
She's worth half alone.
Don't fib now.
Hand to God.
Did you hear that? He stakes his reputation on you.
Oh, pretty.
I do like sparkly things.
Don't touch that.
She's got spunk.
Damn right.
Why don't you untie me and find out how spunky I am? She is the perfect underdog.
You put her in there with one of your regulars, she beats the odds, ratings go through the roof.
And if you're wrong? Next batch is free of charge.
But if I'm right and she proves it I get full price and 10 percent bump on my contract.
Deal? Good.
Yes.
Son of a bitch! Give that back! Save it for the ring.
And you better not disappoint.
Bye, thank you very much! (DARIUS) You can take them away.
Thanks so much everyone.
I'll be rooting for ya.
Home, sweet home.
You two get along now.
(JULIUS) So they caught you too huh? - Julius? - Vi! Hey.
Welcome to hell.
Van Helsing 4x10 Together Forever How did you end up in here? My mama always said help the helpless.
Turns out they weren't.
What is this place? The worst of us.
We gotta break out of here.
I've been looking for weak points.
But there is none.
There's cameras everywhere.
Yeah, and armed guards patrolling the perimeter.
Every inch of this place has eyes on you.
They want us to fight.
For what? Entertainment.
We're not gonna put on a show for anybody.
Vanessa gave me a mission and I'm gonna see it through.
Vanessa? You found Vanessa? Where is she? [VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
Oh, shit.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Shit.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
Woah.
Hey, woah, woah, woah.
Easy.
Who are you? I ain't the Easter Bunny.
I said who are you? I'm not gonna hurt you.
What do you want? I'd be a lot more inclined to answer your questions if you put that thing down.
Tough shit.
I'm looking for a friend.
Can't help you.
What're you doing? Where's Vanessa? Where is she? Look I'm a friend, you can trust me.
She's gone.
What do you mean, she's gone? She sacrificed herself to save me and my sister.
Bullshit.
She gave me this thing to find her wherever she was.
For some reason it's pointing straight at you.
Why? Because I'm her daughter.
What? Those Blak-Tek bastards, they made us, too.
Me and my sister.
Just like they made her.
So she's really gone? But I plan on getting her back.
I just remember like this white light beam, and then Vanessa and the Dark One both fell into it.
Vanessa is still alive.
I don't know how I know, I just do.
If I can get those pages and put it all tog First thing is we get out of here.
No, I need that amulet first.
Wait, what pages? And what amulet? It holds the Dark One's blood.
Vanessa entrusted it to me and now that psycho has it.
We need that amulet, Julius.
Then we get the pages that tell us how to open the portal.
Okay, okay.
Just ease up, alright? We'll get out.
Together.
I'm sorry, Violet.
For what? For leaving you in Fort Collins.
I should have brought you with me.
I wasn't ready.
But then I saw the truth with my own eyes and learned who I really was and what I have to do.
Cue music.
Places, places everyone.
What kind of Mad Max shit is this? I told you.
Human cock fighting.
And they really like to jazz it up.
That satellite truck outside? They're broadcasting this somewhere.
To someone.
To some sickos who get off on the murder of innocent people.
This is unbelievable.
You ain't seen nothing yet, kid.
When your number gets called, no matter what happens, you get out alive.
Look, you gotta listen to me.
You are so important in all of this.
So in there, you're not Violet anymore.
You understand? Five, four, three, cue fake applause.
Heathens! Ne'er-do-wells, delinquents.
I am your magnificent and magnanimous MC for the evening, Darius, and tonight I have a special show for you my lovelies, one that is sure to entertain you.
See, normally I make you wait until the main event to witness his brutality.
But even I can't wait for this first match up.
So shall we get started? Yes, I say we shall.
First up, please welcome the one you love to fear.
Carnage! [LOUD THUNDEROUS VOICE.]
I am Carnage! You're a killer.
Maybe I'll pick you next, Tiny.
[BARKS.]
[LAUGHS.]
And his first victim, or shall I say "challenger", a little, uh, firecracker of a filly.
The beauty that slays beasts, The Slayer! Showtime.
No, no.
Look.
You can't.
She's she's just a kid, alright? Take me.
He wanted to fight me! He wanted to fight me! Take me! It's not your time.
Make it my time.
[GROANS.]
Julius! Julius! I'll go! Okay, I'll go! You don't understand.
You've never fought anyone like him.
You lose, he takes your head.
Now.
There's no coming back! Come on! [LAUGHS.]
Woohoo! Yes! It's the time you've all been waiting for! It's really I'm very excited because I have a very, very special show for you this evening.
One of biblical proportions and when I say proportions I sincerely mean it because here right now tonight we have our very own David versus Goliath.
Female David, but even better, really.
It's gonna be fun.
Are we ready? - I said are we ready? - Vi? You're gonna get through this, just concentrate on my voice, alright? This is the real deal, kid.
Fight for your life.
I asked you for a challenge and you send me this? I can crush ten of her with one hand.
I'd like to see that.
We have one last teeny-tiny order of business before we begin the festivities and you know what that is.
The wheel of death! [LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
Here we go.
Let fate run its course like the blood in their veins! Have you made your peace with your maker? I've got things I still have to do.
Yeah, me too and I'm gonna end you.
(DARIUS) Here she goes.
Here she goes.
Where it stops nobody knows.
Oh.
The haladie.
The haladie.
Twice as nice because it's got twice the slice.
Are my combatants ready? Showtime.
Begin.
No.
No! Where you goin'? You're not getting away from me.
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
Dumb move, kid.
That was your last.
Remember the soft spots! Shut your mouth! [GROANS.]
How's that for a soft spot? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! Right in the ball sack.
[GROWLS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
Oh, no, no.
Ohhhhh!!!!! It's not the size of the dog in the fight but the fight of the dog in the blah, blah, blah.
You know.
Come here! You see that? That's not gonna help you, little girl.
Get outta there! Move, move, move, move! [FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
It doesn't have to end this way.
It always ends this way.
I promise, I won't let you suffer.
I told you I wanted a challenge! Come on, Vi.
He's too big.
Improvise.
[COUGHS.]
Ooh.
[GROANS.]
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
No.
No.
I can't die.
I'm sorry.
You said if I got if I got 20 wins I could leave.
Find my family.
It's over! Okay? We put on a show just like you asked! Yes, but you've left out the best part.
One second.
Uh, here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here, here, here.
Finish him.
I'm no executioner.
Aren't you? You son of a bitch.
We had a deal.
Which you failed to live up to.
I'll see you in hell.
[DARIUS LAUGHS.]
What a show.
What an upset! Sadly, the Slayer did not live up to her name, but I'm sure she'll learn soon enough.
For now, toodle-oo, my lovelies.
Toodle-oo, my lovelies, till next time! Till next time! [LAUGHS.]
And cameras are cut.
You will learn to take direction.
Or what? Oh, the show goes on, but it's you that gets cancelled.
[SPITS.]
So these, um, pages.
What do they do, exactly? They open the portal to where Vanessa and the Dark One went.
I think.
And you actually saw the Dark One? If it weren't for Vanessa.
We'll find your sister.
Damn right we will.
[LAUGHS.]
You probably are her daughter.
You two were close? In our own way, I guess.
Not sure if I ever really knew her.
It was the weight of what she was, you know? She the things she had to do, what people expected of her.
Just cast a big shadow.
She tried to do good, even if it meant doing some things that people couldn't live with.
She was fierce, she was determined, but she loved her daughter more than just about anything on the planet.
Probably would have loved you, too, if she had the chance.
Well, that's all we're gonna get out of that.
Feels like we were just getting started.
Yeah, well.
I'm gonna get her back.
Me and my sister.
And then together we'll put an end to all of them.
(TAPE) but I am sure she will learn soon enough.
[KNOCKING.]
Entrez-vous, s'il vous plait.
I had such high hopes for you.
But clearly one of us got ahead of ourselves.
Mmm.
Sweet, sweet Slayer.
My name is Violet.
I don't care.
Why are you doing this? Good times or bad, people always need entertainment, my dear.
What people? Where? I would be more concerned with what is happening right here, Slayer.
Stop calling me that.
Someone is supposed to die! You broke that rule.
Argh! Rules maintain order.
Without them there is chaos.
Not unlike the wastelands you've been trying to survive out there.
And in here? Chaos is a shit show you call entertainment.
Breaking the rules usually means death, but I like your spunk.
And my audience deserves to see your full potential, so I'm giving you another chance.
Colour me merciful.
I won't kill for you.
You haven't even heard what I have to offer you.
It doesn't matter.
- Really? - Really.
Become my ultimate champion and I will send you to a place unaffected by vampires, where everyone will cheer your name and you will never live in fear again.
Shangri-La.
That doesn't exist.
Really? Who do you think is watching? You don't have any choice, Slayer.
You either murder for the masses or it's off with your head.
Good.
Good chat, thank you.
Take her away.
I won't kill innocent people just to save myself! You hear me? You will, Slayer.
They all do.
[LAUGHING.]
Ouch.
What a come from behind victory, folks! I could have done without the tears, but there's something about a snivelling coward turning ruthless killer that really gets my blood flowing.
[LAUGHING.]
Wooo! They made me kill her.
I didn't want to.
I didn't want to! [DARIUS MOCKING.]
I didn't want to! I didn't want to! You made me do it! I had to do it.
Guilty, you did have to do it.
I didn't want to.
They made me.
I had to do it.
And we'll be right back after this short break.
(DIRECTOR) Cut! Good, are we cut? Good.
(JULIUS) I say we risk it.
I'll take the brunt of the fire while you take him out.
No need.
I have an idea.
(VIOLET) Get your big hands off me, you ape! I'm gonna kill you, you little runt! (GUARD) You two, knock it off! Get them outta there! They're no good to me if they kill each other off camera! Let's go.
I'm gonna rip your face off! I'm gonna kill you, you little runt! - I am going to get you first! - I'm gonna end you! I'm gonna end your face! I'm gonna end you! Spit on you and spit on your corpse! [LAUGHING.]
Easy, Slayer.
Easy, Slayer.
You'll get your chance.
Change the fight card.
These two go next.
(DIRECTOR) Yes, sir.
The compass says she must be in there.
I only see two of them but they're like roaches.
You know there's more inside.
What is this place? I don't know.
But I bet they get shit reviews on Yelp.
Hey! Where are you going?! To rescue Violet.
Not without a plan, you're not.
Bullets might not kill us but they hurt like hell.
Those are four gauge shotgun shells those guys are carrying.
They'll take your head clean off.
Ain't no healing from that.
So what's the plan? I'm thinking.
Anytime now Okay, okay, look.
We're gonna get your sister.
Here's how.
There's two guards, right? Here and here.
I ghost around the fence line, distract them, do a little jazz hands.
You sneak around here [DISTANT SCREAMS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Okay, new plan.
We follow them.
Welcome back, my lovelies! Oh, ho, ho! You know, I'm feeling a little, uh, naughty this evening.
Maybe it's something in the air.
But next up I bring you the rarest of occurrences.
You know her, you love her.
In her second match of the evening here to slay yet another giant, the Slayer! Yes.
And her opponent, the hulking brute from parts unknown, the Yeti.
Let the games begin, shall we? Round and round she spins, where she stops will split your skin.
[CLATTER.]
Ok, now um, you two don't play nice, now.
Wink, wink.
And go! Ooh, and the Slayer draws first blood.
[GROWLS.]
Hey! [SCREAMS.]
[GROWLING.]
At least they're taking care of the hard part for us.
I hate to tell ya, eventually they are the hard part.
Watch your step.
[SPITS.]
Ouch.
Little bit of a left hook.
Let's do this.
Come on! Boring.
[LAUGHTER SOUNDS.]
Come on! I can't.
Do it.
Or we're gonna die.
Let's go! [CHARGING CRIES.]
Okay, okay, okay.
Pause.
Wait.
Time to even the playing field.
Timber! [CLATTER.]
[CHARGING CRIES.]
Yeti down, ladies and gentlemen.
It's now or never, kid.
Kill her! [GUNSHOT.]
[CLAPPING.]
Wonderful.
Bravo, Slayer.
Show's over, psycho! Au contraire.
It would appear that the show has just begun.
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
No.
I killed you in Denver! Only your love died there.
No! [GUNSHOTS.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
[CLICKING.]
Scab!!! This time I'm gonna make sure you die.
With my bare hands.
[SCREAMING.]
Julius! Sorry, kid.
This one's personal.
You, you will not escape this time, Van Helsing! Argh!!!!! [FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
Vi! Jack! [GROWLING.]
[EVIL LAUGH.]
Don't shoot! He has the amulet! I'm on it! Looks like that's my cue, my lovelies.
To be continued.
Julius? Axel! [SCREAMING.]
No, no, no, no, no! He's mine! If you say so.
I suppose you've got this covered, too, huh? Go help my sister! Good luck, big guy.
Hey, asshole! - [COCKS GUN.]
- Down! [GUNSHOTS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
This is gold.
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
[SCREECHING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
You know what I wanna hear! I'll never say it! Damn right you won't.
[SCREAMS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
You're gonna pay for that, human! [SCREAMS.]
[FIGHTING GRUNTS.]
Julius! I hope your vengeance was worth your life.
[SCREAMING.]
[VOMITING.]
[LAUGHING AND SOBBING.]
[LAUGHING AND SOBBING.]
I'm I'm [LAUGHING AND SOBBING.]
Human Just give us the amulet.
And then what? You're just gonna let me walk away? (AXEL) Now you're getting it.
That's not exactly must see TV, people.
Come and get it! [GUNSHOTS.]
Can't believe we're negotiating with a moron in the goddamn apocalypse.
Oh, hey.
Nice of you to join us.
I see you've been busy.
Yeah.
Why kill when I can save? What're you gonna do about her? I got this.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Look at me.
I've been where you are.
I've just spent such a long time in darkness.
I know.
The Van Helsings have my loyalty for freeing me.
Come on.
Are we good? Yeah.
She's with us now.
So what's the plan? He's locked himself in his room and he's throwing a tantrum.
Did you ever play football? Well, my lovelies, it appears that this may be the end but I can assure you I won't be signing off without a a big finale, like when Edward R.
Murrow wished you a goodnight, and good luck.
Or when Sam Malone uttered those immortal words "Sorry, we're closed".
No, this will be TV history.
[LAUGHS.]
Don't mind me, I'm just passing through.
Whatever this is, just make it good.
Three, two, one.
[GUNFIRE.]
Let's go! Whoever's watching this disgusting shit, you're the problem.
You call this entertainment? You watch real people suffer just so you can feel better about your own pathetic lives.
We're fighting to save humanity, so this ends now.
Show's over, mother[CENSORED.]
! As you can see, the rumours of the woman who can turn vampires human are true.
How would you like to proceed, Madam President?