Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s04e11 Episode Script

[MOUSE SQUEAKS.]
[PENGUINS WENK.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
[SCREECHES.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human The fun will never end It's adventure time [YAWNING.]
Man, let's go home.
Nuts to that.
I want to find a mystery cave.
[SIGHS.]
But, Finn, I'm getting all cranky around my joke-hole.
Oof! Ow! Ooh la-la! What's that? Mystery cave! Come on, Jake! [GRUNTING.]
Oh, my glory.
JAKE: Dude, no! Don't touch that thing.
It's probably got some kind of sacred significance.
Yeah, I want it for my sacred bathroom.
[WHIRL!.]
Finn? [SWIRL!.]
[WHO-O-O-ING!.]
[GASPS.]
Oh, my jah! Finn's become one with the lamb! [SPROING!.]
Huh? [SPRING! SPRANG!.]
[ROAR! WHOOSH!.]
Jake! You see this crazy jazz? We'll get through this, my bro.
I swear I'm gonna get you out of that lamb.
[DING! DING!.]
Jake! Come on.
Quit messing with me.
Whoa! Ow.
Ow.
[PLUNK!.]
Ow.
[CREAK! THUNK!.]
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
Wish I knew how to free you, bro.
[HOLLOW WHEEZING.]
Me too, bro.
Pbbbbbt! Thbbt! Thbbbt! Pbbbbbt! Beemo, stop fake-farting! But Finn always loved Beemo farting.
Thbbt! Thbbt! [LAUGHS.]
Hmm.
That's it! We'll do all Finn's favorite stuff till he comes out! Beemo, play Finn's favorite song! Okay! three baby spiders What?! No! [LAUGHTER.]
No! Not this song! The rain came down, and it was no fun Are you hearing this, buddy? Guys, I haven't liked this song since I was 2! Aggggh! [LAUGHTER CONTINUES.]
Cut it out! [BANG! FOING!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
[LEAVES RUSTLE.]
ICE KING: Leaf princess! Come to me, my arboreal beauty! Gotcha! [SCOFFS.]
It's just a dumb, old leaf, you dumb, old Ice King.
I know, but it's mine.
Wait! What? Ice King, you can hear me? Yes.
Why? Are you making fun of me or something? No, it's just no one else can see me or hear me talk.
Ohh.
Yeah.
You're trapped in the spirit realm.
I can see all things spirit with my "Wizard eyes"! Man, never thought I'd be happy to talk to you, Ice King.
Can you help me get free? Oh, yeah.
I know all the ins and outs.
And I'd do anything for a friend like you.
[QUACKS.]
Quiet, Gunther.
Can't you see I'm hanging with Finn? [QUACKS.]
I know I say that a lot, but this time, it's true.
Anyways, where do all these spirits come from? Oh, there are portals all over the universe.
I have one in my basement.
Every once in a while, a real cutie pie drifts through.
Oh! Gosh, there she is.
Mmm.
Oh, yeah.
[CHUCKLES.]
Sick.
What? I swear I never touch 'em.
I can't! Can't touch this! Can't touch this! Can't touch this, either! [CHUCKLES.]
Yep, I can't kill any of them.
[SLOSH!.]
I hate them.
Okay, all right.
Enough messing around.
Let's get you free from the spirit plane.
Cool.
[ROAR! SWOOSH! CLONG!.]
So, the only way to get out of the spirit world is to stick all these lousy things in the spirit hole down there, then plug up the hole with that.
And doing that will send me back to normal? Mm-hmm! Trust me! We are tur-bros! Turbo bros.
Turbros.
Turbobros.
So be it.
[SPLICK!.]
[SPLACK!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
[SPLAT!.]
[BLAT!.]
[SPLAT!.]
[SPLAT!.]
[SPLAT!.]
[SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!.]
All right, Finn.
This ought to free you from your body prison.
Couple of rounds of Kompy's Kastle will jog your psychic Schnapps.
That's what I think.
Co-op mode, like we always do.
Oh, yeah! [VIDEO GAME BEEPS.]
Come on, Finn.
Drop the drawbridge.
Kompy's bloodlust meter's going down.
Let me help you there.
Wazza! You love Kompy.
[SIGHS.]
[SPLAT!.]
Idid it! Whew! I did it.
[SIGHS.]
I'm ready, Ice King.
Make me normal now.
Ohh, that's not all of them.
There's this other guy that watches me.
He'ssuper-creepy.
Do you see it? Oh, it sees you.
Catch it and put it in the spirit hole! In the spirit hole, where it can't see me anymore -- so you can be free! [GROANS.]
[GROWLING.]
Huh? Get it! Get it! Ugh! Aah! Get it in the hole! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! [SPLASH!.]
[SPLAT!.]
ICE KING: Yes! [LAUGHS.]
It's gone! Sonow I can go back to normal? Uhwait, though.
What? There's this last guy you got to get.
He's pretty much the worst.
He usually leaves these gross heads around, but I'm not seeing them anywhe-- Aah! Ew! There it is! There it is! Wan wan! Wan wan wan! Noooooo! No! Don't come near me! What is that? It's from the dead one.
He leaves these heads around everywhere.
I can't even touch them, but it still creeps me out.
Wan wan! Please get rid of him! What do I do? Follow the heads? Yes, the heads! Oh, snow, please! [SCREAMS.]
[SIGHS.]
All right, man.
I'll get it.
Wan wan.
Where's your daddy, huh? Is he hiding in there? Wan wan.
[WHEEZING.]
[SHING!.]
[OOZE! SPLAT!.]
Ugh! Better get back in the spirit hole, dead one.
Blagh.
Okay.
[SHOING!.]
Hyah! [SPLAT!.]
Ugh! Agh! [GRUNTS.]
Wan wan wan! Hyup! Oof! Oh, bolts! Whoo! Yeah, get him! Boosh! [SPLASH!.]
Oh, my -- what?! The cave? How the? Weird.
That's weird, but whatevs, though.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[SPLOOSH!.]
Whatevs.
Ice King?! Ice Ki-i-i-ng?! Where'd you go, Simon? [LAUGHING.]
Ice King? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, me, oh, moy, oh, fa-la-loy Everyone sing my song of joy The child of man who touched the lamb Is soon to be my new best friend All to me, can't you see? For I will never set him free! I had no bro in all of Ooo But now I've got one, Finn the hu-- FINN: Dude, come on! What? Ha ha, Finn! You fell right into for my brilliant plan that I formed out of the thin air like a true magi! Not only did I get you to remove those horrible creatures from my castle, but now you're trapped, and only I can see you.
So, if you want friends, this is it, pal.
[LAUGHS EVILLY.]
I'm gonna re-open the hole.
No, wait! My plan fell apart! My new plan is that you don't open the hole and I destroy the porcelain lamb, which will bring you back to the material plane.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
[VIDEO-GAME MUSIC PLAYS.]
[BLAM!.]
[MUFFLED.]
Jake.
[THUNK!.]
Ugh! Blah! Give me that lamb! No! [SMASH!.]
Finn's trapped in here! That's why I have to smash it! You donk! I will smash you! Blaaaaaaaah! [CRASH!.]
[CRASH!.]
Escape! Aah! My winter body! I was gonna start up on the elliptical again, but I got depressed, okay? [CRYING.]
Don't look at me! [SOBS.]
Ow! [WHIRL!.]
Ooooh! [WARBLE!.]
Aaah! They're touching me for real! Ew! Great.
Now we're both stuck in here.
Aaah! Finn, give me your clothes! Stop! I need a buffer! Gah! Oh, geez! Come on! [GRUNTING.]
[GASPS.]
[SOBBING.]
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
They were just touching me on the body.
I'm sorry.
Whoa.
Do that again.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
They were touching my body.
I'm sorry.
Your hand is affecting the TV! We must have some kind of subtle effect on the material plane.
Cool.
What do you think, Finn? Can we pull back the veil of static and reach into the source of all being? Behind this curtain of patterns, this random pattern generator.
So clever.
Right here, in every home, watching us from a one-sided mirror.
[LAUGHING.]
Whoops! Just wizard-talking to myself.
It's okay, but let's use our subtle influence to break the lamb.
Yeah, a'ight.
You mean like this? Whoooosh.
Yeah, man! Whoo! It's working, man! Combine the swirls! Okay.
Wazza! Whoa! Finn, is that you? [RUMBLE!.]
Yes! Finn! Finn! Finn! [WHIRL!.]
[WHOOSH!.]
Whoa! That was beautiful.
[CHUCKLES.]
Let's go flush this in the sacred bathroom.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
[PORCELAIN SHATTERS.]
Jake, if I beat you, you have to call me "sensei" for a month.
Deal.
Hi, guys.
ALL: 'Sup, Turtle Princess? Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Argh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Get your hands off me, Steven! Yah! You too, Chad! Hey, girl.
Hey, girl.
Brought you some little fruit pies.
Awesome.
How you doing out here? Turtle Princess, the men out here will not leave me alone! [SIGHS.]
It must be nice.
Nah, it's horrible.
They just want me for my lumps.
[SCREECHES, CAWS.]
These lumps aren't for sale, Billy! - [CAWS.]
- Ugh! Aren't you sick of men going after your turtle lumps? Actually, I've never been able to work my T-Lumps.
I just know what I read in books.
[GASPS.]
Hey, you should write a book telling me how to do it.
Oh, my glob.
Turtle Princess, I always wanted to write trashy books for ladies! [HISSES.]
Hyah! Back up off me, Ricky! Yeah, everyone needs to know that when I work these lumps, no man is immune to their influence.
Jake's ball landed over here, Beemo! [GASPS.]
LSP, Finn would be perfect as the test subject for your lump studies.
Yay! I win! Bow to your sensei.
Aw! [LAUGHS.]
You got to go undercover and conduct your lump science on him.
Prove to the world that even a white knight like Finn is no match for the power of your lumps.
I'll do it -- for the world! And for you, girl.
Oh, girl! [TING!.]
Day one -- on my way to Finn and Jake's.
Side note -- I look fresh to death with my new dress and purse.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Hello? [SEXILY.]
Hey, Jake.
Is Finn home? Ohh! 'Sup, LSP? [NORMAL VOICE.]
Oh, hey.
I'm answering that ad you put out for the "Adventure Secretary.
" What? Ugh! Hold on.
I'll get it.
[PAPER RUSTLING.]
Hold on.
It's down in there.
Okay, wait.
I got it.
Here you go.
"Wanted -- Adventure Secretary.
" [SNIFFS.]
Smells like fruit pie.
It's nice of you to want to be our secretary, but we don't need one.
Dude, look at her.
Mmm.
Oh, glob.
Yeah, it's sad.
Come on.
We got to help her.
Ah.
All right, LSP, come inside.
Awesome.
Totally nailed the interview.
[SLURP!.]
I'm gonna need a secretary desk.
Rah! [SCREECH!.]
I'm starving! What's for dinner?! Oh.
Uh we got some blueberries.
Jake has saltines.
Yuck.
Looks like I'll have to bust out these cobras to get a better dinner.
[SEXILY.]
Hey, Finn.
You got anything better to eat? Oh, cool -- old spaghetti.
I'm gonna go heat this up.
Chapter one --"Gotcha.
" Have a good night.
See you in the morning.
Good night, you guys! Finn is even more overpowered by my lumps than I thought.
I guess at the end of the day, it's all about the lumps.
TURTLE PRINCESS RINGTONE: Hey, girl.
Hey -- [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Hey, girl.
Oh, Turtle Princess, this book is coming out awesome! Oh, good, girl.
I can't wait to read it.
Thanks, girl.
- Good night, girl.
- Good night, girl.
[CLICK.]
[SNORING.]
[CRACKLE.]
[GROGGILY.]
Huh? What's that? 'Sup, LSP? What are you guys doing? We're carrying these rocks on an adventure up to the mystery mountains.
Oh, nuh-uh! I am not gonna carry rocks! That's okay.
Jake can carry them.
Yep.
Ugh! Fine.
You're welcome, Finn.
Ugh! My arms weren't meant to carry so many rocks, you guys.
Come on, LSP.
You can make it.
Ugggggh! [ROCKS CLATTER.]
RINGTONE: Hey, girl.
Hey -- [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Turtle Princess, you can't call me.
You're gonna blow my cover! Good morning, girl.
Good morning, girl.
Would you be mad at me if I ask out Billy, that vulture who was hitting on you? I think he's cute, and Hey, LSP, shake a leg.
Can't talk right now, girl.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
The Loch of Phantoms.
Princess Bubblegum said the rocks would show us the safe path.
This is way too boring for my book.
Oh! My shoulder strap! Oh, my orange juice is coming out! Ha! Gotch-- huh? [SPLASH.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Jake.
"Kerploop!" JAKE: [CHUCKLES.]
"Kerploop.
" Not gotcha? All right! [DRIP! SPLAT!.]
Ughhh! This place is plops, Finn! We can meet you back at the tree house later, if you want.
That weird light.
[SHIMMER!.]
Hey, Finn! Finn, my dress is slipping! Huh? Listen, LSP, we gotta be careful.
Whooooo! My dress! - No, LSP! It's not safe! - Aaah! Don't look! He-e-e-e-e-y! Oh.
Hey, Fi-i-i-nn.
[KNOCK ON WALL.]
She's stuck in there! We gotta bust through this wall! [SHING! KNOCK! KNOCK!.]
[CLANG! KNOCK!.]
I knew you couldn't resist me, Finn.
Oh, lump.
I took it too far.
[WHISH!.]
[GASPS.]
My powerful lumps have turned Finn into a grody monster! Get away, Finn! Aah! No! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Hyah! Aah! I-I can't look! [WHOOSH!.]
Aah! [BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
That was so crazy! What just happened?! Oh.
Um, Bubblegum sent us on a quest to destroy these cursed mirrors.
Evil stuff happens when you look into them.
Oh, glob.
I had to look, 'cause I looked so good.
LSP, you don't need a mirror to know you look good.
You're beautiful on the inside.
Like your brain and stuff.
Thanks for saying that stuff.
And for saving me from those mirror-yous.
That was pretty nice.
Okay, time to write.
Gonna make this trashy.
Turtle Princess will be all [AS TURTLE PRINCESS.]
"Oh, my gosh! Number-one best seller!" [NORMAL VOICE.]
Heh heh.
Yeah.
[RUSTLING IN DISTANCE.]
What is he doing out there? Sometimes, after an adventure, he likes to sit out there and think.
RINGTONE: Hey, girl.
Hey -- [CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
- Hello? - Hey, girl.
Are you almost done with your book? Oh! I'm working on it.
I've been doing so much research.
Did Finn fall victim to your lumps? Um yeah.
Great! Bring in your manuscript right away.
Click! Yeah a book about how I'm hot and Finn only wants -- he's so hot.
[GASPS.]
[LAUGHS.]
Old spaghetti.
"Kerploop.
" You're beautiful on the inside.
Finn has the hottest lumps, but his lumps are on the inside.
Aaaargh! He's great! Uh bye, LSP.
[THUNDER CRASHES.]
This isn't what you said it'd be about.
I know.
I -- I love it! Oh, my glob! [SCRIBBLE!.]
[CAWS.]
Finn, you've probably been wondering where I've been for the last few hours.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have.
Finn, I was never really your secretary, Finn.
I was writing a book about how you were a slave to my lumps 'cause I'm so hot, Finn! Oh.
Okay.
But you're the one who's hot, Finn! Wow.
Uh thanks! No.
Thank you.
LSP, you're wearing garbage for clothes! Gotcha.
Aah! Come along with me And the butterflies and bees We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree