Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s04e11 Episode Script

1
Hey, honey, which one?
The blue.
But say I'm in Southeast Asia
negotiating for top-of-the-line
sewing equipment.
- The blue.
- Okay, but what if I'm?
The blue.
You know what? I'll bring both.
You can't wear black when
you're making deals in Malaysia.
They consider it unlucky.
- Good to know.
- I was wearing
a little black number the night I lost
20,000 ringgits playing pai gow.
You can't gamble in Kuala Lumpur.
Oh, honey, you can gamble anywhere.
Just follow the Chinese people.
Did you travel to Malaysia
a lot when you ran MaxDot?
Max and I went to Malaysia,
Korea, the Philippines
Really, anywhere they eat with sticks.
I'd watch Douglas and
Christina for a week,
and they'd travel the world.
Yeah, but we always
brought you back a T-shirt.
Yeah, that made up for it.
The '80s were my time.
There was J.R. Ewing
and Dottie Wheeler.
I would have loved to see you back then.
I was what the youngsters
would call a bad bitch.
Now
you can see me travel
all the way to my room.
Bring me back a shirt.
You should take her with you.
Why do you want to hurt me?
I'm nice to you.
She has recovered
enough from her stroke.
She would enjoy it.
But I'd be miserable.
But she would enjoy it.
Yeah, repeating it doesn't
make me want to do it more.
I see this every day at work.
People think they have enough time,
then something happens
and they don't get the
chance to say goodbye.
Thank God for FaceTime, huh?
Mom! You want to go to Malaysia with me?
- No, thank you.
- Hmm.
Go and convince her.
Ah, come on.
- Ah, e kaale, Mummy.
- Kaale.
- What is all this?
- I was hoping
we could spend some time together,
just the two of us.
I see.
Why?
You are my mother.
Tell me what you have done,
and I will decide if I
want to remain your mother.
Could you please just sit?
I have KitKat Chunkies.
You are bribing me with confectionary.
Auntie Olu and I would have
girls' nights like this
when I first moved to America.
I was worried about you,
but I was glad you at least had
a second-rate version of me.
We would drink wine
and put on Big Brother Nigeria.
So, you would get drunk and
watch terrible television?
The show did not matter.
It was about the laughter
and wonderful conversation.
That sounds nice.
Yes.
Cheers.
Mmm.
So
What is new with you?
Bob is in Malaysia on business.
- I know that.
- Ah.
Work has been very busy.
- I know that.
- Ah.
How are things in your life?
- None of your business.
- Of course.
There's no smoking.
Aw! What's the third world coming to?
I think most of the
manufacturing machines are
in the grand ballroom.
Oh
Busi's got a prototype here.
Clear your schedule.
We found our white whale.
Eh, sorry I'm gonna have to miss that,
I'll be too busy networking.
You mean you'll be at the bar.
That's what I just said.
Bob?
Wati, hey!
I thought it was you.
I recognized your flat head.
And hubba hubba.
Who is this young lady?
Wati, the last time I saw you,
we were both in the back
seat of a squad car.
I told you not to give tequila
to that policeman's horse.
- Do not tell me you are staying here.
- Well
this is where we keep our bags,
but you know me.
A disco nap, and then I hit the streets.
You must stay with me.
Oh, me and my flat head
wouldn't want to impose.
My wife would not forgive me.
I insist.
We'd love to.
Great, I will see you at home.
Can't wait.
Oh, you can't smoke here anymore.
What the hell, Mom?
- What?
- We can't stay with Wati.
Why not? He's an old friend.
He's also the guy we're gonna screw over
when we pull our business in six months.
Ah I forgot about that.
Yeah, that is a pickle.
I knew I should've come alone.
Then this is on you.
We are going now. Have fun.
I would love to,
but I have a whole list of things
to take care of around here.
I know you are going to
drink soda and watch YouTube.
That is on the list.
- E karo, Auntie.
- Ah.
- Morenike.
- E karo.
- Hello.
- Uncle.
Is now a bad time?
Oh, Morenike and I were just going out.
- Oh.
- To brunch.
Oh. You and I used to do that.
Yes, we did.
And now you have been replaced.
No one has been replaced.
Come by tomorrow.
We will do something then.
Auntie, tomorrow we have reservations
for the escape room.
Oh, yes. Well, I will call you.
Or I could join you.
You do not want me to.
Of course we do.
Well, then
I will come.
Okay.
You will come.
I am feeling awkward,
and I am not even in this conversation.
Anything for my most loyal customer.
You have done so much
for our family.
I brought a friend of yours
with me from the States.
Hello, Jack, it has been too long.
You did not have to bring anything.
Your ongoing business
is the greatest gift.
Okay, enough shoptalk.
Jin, this nasi lemak is incredible.
I'm glad you like it.
MaxDot is the way we
keep food on our table.
Uh-huh.
You mind if I crack
open your buddy there?
So, um, how are the kids?
Where's little Selly?
All grown up.
She just went off to college.
University of Wisconsin.
Oh, that's great.
I'm paying $40,000
for her to drink Miller Lite.
Which we would never be
able to afford without
Yeah, you're welcome!
I'm going to get a peach Bellini.
Careful, Auntie.
Remember what happened last time.
What happened last time?
I drank it too fast
and I got the hiccups.
You know,
sometimes it helps if you drink water.
She did. It made them even worse.
I-I had the hiccups the other day.
It was also funny.
Oh, really? What happened?
Eventually they went away.
What's happening?
Just watch.
At first I was afraid ♪
I was petrified ♪
Kept thinking I could never live ♪
Without you by my side ♪
But then I spent so many nights ♪
Um, what kind of restaurant is this?
Oh, perhaps we should have warned you.
And so you're back ♪
Oh.
Oh.
Did you think I'd crumble? ♪
Did you think I'd lay down and die? ♪
- Oh
- Oh, no, not I ♪
I will survive ♪
Oh, as long as I know how to love ♪
I know I'll stay alive ♪
I've got all my life to live ♪
And I've got all my love to give ♪
And I'll survive ♪
I will survive ♪
Hey, hey. ♪
Look, Dottie.
This was when we got our
ears pierced together.
Oh, I think she's out.
But you look great.
I like the dangly yin-yang.
You are a good son for bringing her.
Yeah, she's almost pleasant
when she's sleeping.
When she put you in charge of MaxDot,
I had my doubts.
I remember.
"Your son's a dumbass"
is the first phrase
I learned in Mandarin.
I have to start thinking of who
I want to leave my company to.
You thinking of calling it quits?
I'm losing my fire.
I used to love socks.
Now I just really like them.
Well, then there's something
we should talk about.
MaxDot's gonna be making some changes.
What kind of changes?
Well, as you know,
a lot of American companies
make their products overseas.
I thank God every day for such laziness.
We're not gonna be one of
those companies anymore.
What?
We're setting up our own factory.
Look, this is good, you just said
you wanted to get out.
I meant decades from now. I'm only 80!
Well, now you're still young enough
to enjoy time with your wife.
- Vacation together.
- With what money?
Yeah, that is a pickle.
- Get out of my house!
- Come on, don't be that way.
- Get out!
- What's going on?
There it is.
My goodness, you killed it again.
Yes, you slayed, bitch.
Auntie!
What? That is how we speak.
All of us queens.
Once my friends met Auntie,
they could not get enough of her.
And are all your friends like this?
Ah. We have a virgin?
Ring the bell.
Please, no bell, all right?
Please, no pictures.
This is illegal where I'm from.
We are not in Nigeria. Have fun.
Stick this into her bra,
you will feel better.
It is okay.
Are you singing today?
If I keep on drinking,
anything is possible.
Auntie Olu, you crack me up.
So, you both knew
this was going to happen?
Yes, it is a drag brunch.
Many of the queens will perform today.
There's Harlot Letter. Peg the Stallion.
And there is my favorite,
Tuckin' Carlson.
Oluwa mi o.
Oh. Olu-wa mi o.
That could be my drag name.
You know what time it is.
Twerk o'clock!
Come on, Auntie.
If you want a free shot,
you better get up
- and shake it!
- Ooh, no.
I could not possibly.
That can coach me ♪
Go, Auntie! Go, Auntie!
Go, Auntie!
Go, Auntie! Go, Auntie!
Go, Auntie! Go, Auntie!
Wati's been our friend for 30 years,
and we stabbed him in the back.
No, I wanted to stab him in the back,
you stuck the knife
right in his sweet face.
Hey, you think the kitchen's still open?
How can you be so cold?
It's business.
Our arrangement with
Wati served its purpose,
and now it's done.
You didn't cry when we
fired your math tutor.
We didn't have a relationship with him.
Oh, God!
You wanted to bring
manufacturing back to Detroit.
Where did you think you
were bringing it from?
Well, it was easier to screw him over
before I knew he had two
Pomeranians named Max and Dot.
You may not have the stomach
for this, Bobby.
I have been running the
company for 25 years.
After it was already built.
The dirty work was done.
- The eggs were cracked. The bodies were buried.
- I get it!
I'm sorry, but I just think
there's a way to run
a successful company
and treat people with
honesty and respect.
That's nice.
Totally delusional but nice.
I thought you couldn't get
into one of those places
unless you are gay.
Apparently, everyone is welcome.
Oh, who'd have thought
that anyone can get lunch
in a place that serves lunch?
Auntie seemed so comfortable.
There's an easy explanation for that.
Her aunt isn't gay.
I've been to a drag show.
And there's an easy
explanation for that.
If anyone was uncomfortable, it was me.
I must be a bad person.
No, baby, you were just raised
in a certain environment,
- and it can take a long time to put that stuff down.
- Yes.
Not everyone is as open-minded as I am.
You were just over here
basing people's sexuality
on where they eat waffles.
But I don't hate them for it.
Mind open.
I do not hate them either.
I know you don't, sweetie.
On a homophobia scale,
I'd put you at a seven.
Seven?
Hey, I'm giving you credit.
Seven is not bad when you were
raised in a church full of tens.
Keep working on it,
and soon you'll be
down to a zero like me.
And your bisexual auntie.
Hello, handsome.
My Mandarin's a little rusty,
but I gather you're pissed.
Bob is a selfish man
with a stupid mustache.
You want to keep whining,
or you want to kill that bottle of Jack?
I can do both.
Are you still a lightweight?
I only brought two outfits
and I don't need you puking on me.
If I throw up,
it will not be the alcohol
it will be because of your face.
Hey, jackass, I had a stroke.
Is that over yet?
I missed this.
Me, too.
You know,
our factory's not up and running yet.
You can still keep making socks
while you figure out your next move.
I would rather keep my pride.
I've seen you blacked
out in a jail cell.
What do you know about pride?
The way I see it,
you've only got one way out of this.
I am not managing my brother's KFC.
How about you come to America
and help us run MaxDot manufacturing?
Why would I do anything to help you?
You get a gig,
you get to be close to your daughter,
and you can buy Jack Daniel's
at every gas station.
Is that true?
It's right next to the cigarettes.
My God, that sounds wonderful.
So, do we have a deal?
We have a deal. Thank you, Dottie.
You're welcome.
Call me old-fashioned,
but I think there's a way
to succeed in business
while treating people
with honesty and respect.
That's nonsense.
Yeah, it is.
Hey.
Hey, you. How is the trip?
Oh, it's going great.
Thank you so much for
making me bring Mom.
You're welcome.
I was being sarcastic.
I know, so was I.
There he is.
Hang on, the curse has returned.
You were right, Bobby.
- What are you talking about?
- Friendship, respect, all that crap.
That's why Wati's coming
to Detroit to work with us.
What?! I-I have to go.
Me, too.
I need to talk to this drag queen.
What?
Excuse me.
Twerk o'clock?
Ah, you are Morenike's cousin.
Yes. Abishola.
I have never seen you on this bus.
I am a little late for school today.
You are in law school?
You cannot tell by these
bags under my eyes?
Last time I saw them,
they were covered in glitter.
Would you like to sit?
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
So, what did you think
of the performance?
Uh, it was very
colorful.
You are so polite.
I know you were uncomfortable,
but you stayed the whole time.
I did.
Morenike is lucky to
have family like you.
Thank you.
I'm down to a six.
Here is the boring logo we
have been using for decades.
And here is the MaxDot
logo of the future.
I just see a Max with a period.
Max. Dot.
MaxDot.
Oh, now I get it.
I still don't like it, but I get it.
What the hell is that?
We're kicking around
ideas for a new logo.
So, you replaced my name
with a freaking blob?
It is not a blob. It is a dot.
Thank God we're bringing in a pro.
What are you talking about?
You didn't tell 'em yet?
I figured you'd want to.
Wati's coming in to run the factory.
- What? - What?
- Excuse me?
Why was I not involved in this decision?
Many of us were not involved.
Does this change the hierarchy?
Am I still number two?
Am I still the janitor?
You know,
this would be a wonderful discussion
if this was a democracy.
But you are living in the
People's Republic of Dottie.
Meeting's over. Back to work.
Long live Dottie!
What happened in Malaysia?
I woke up a monster.
Am I still the janitor?