House of Lies s04e11 Episode Script
Everything's So Fucking Obvious, I'm Starting to Wonder Why We're Even Having This Conversation
Are you serious?! You needed me to help you figure out the computer so you could watch porno?! Previously on House of Lies Dad, you got to find a new place to stay starting tomorrow! Hey.
Molly.
Whatever is decided here, I'm sure Roscoe will land on his feet.
She has a lot of influence in our school community and she wants Roscoe expelled.
Somewhere along the way, you convinced yourself that you had real power.
And now you're a problem I have to solve.
Do you want to make a phone call? Or, you know, look sort of busy? This isn't looking busy? Maybe look like you're crunching some numbers.
God, this feels still so stiff.
It's like a JCPenney catalog.
Maybe type something up? It's not a JCPenney catalog.
How about this? Yeah.
What? Can I? Hey, Blue Man Group, say words.
What? Can I talk to you for a sec? Open your Sorry.
Okay.
It's fine.
Everything's fine.
What?! So, I thought you should know that Denna is in the building.
Does she have a gun? I mean, I don't think so.
Okay.
Well Jesus, Mar Denna Altshuler is on her way up.
Oh, my God! Are you serious? Yeah.
There's nothing in the fridge, and my hair is a disaster.
What are we gonna do? Why am I the only person even remotely concerned about this? Marty openly defied a powerful jillionaire.
You know what they say about a woman scorned? That it's a sexist, borderline misogynistic expression? Oh, that's right, this is the-the new, sensitive, dating-Kelsey Clyde.
I forgot.
How about this? You're a jittery twat.
Does that feel better, more comfortable? No, it, I mean, it feels worse, but at least normal.
You have nothing to worry about.
Marty has it under control.
With the press play and the corporate intelligence component, we are fine.
"Corporate intelligence"? What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marty asked me to find a forensic accountant to look into Denna Altshuler's financial history, all right? We're gonna meet with him this morning.
This morning? Yeah, before the Davis/Dexter consult, which reminds me.
Where are we with those pro forma revenue models? What? I don't know.
You don't know? Okay! Not a big consult or anything.
Just the third largest pharma in the country.
I know they're not the ones that make your roofies, but I feel like we should care about it.
What do we know about this forensic accountant? I mean, really.
Can we trust an outsider with something this sensitive? Doug, you are so far out of your league on this one, it's insane.
Uh, out of the countless research tasks that Marty's given me over the years, have I ever disappointed? Look, we are doing battle with Denna Altshuler! We're not trying to find the best Thai fusion restaurant in Santa Fe.
That's a very specific category in a very small city! Oh, you think your guy could find Golden Buddha? Joe Gideon has gathered competitive intelligence for Fortune 500 companies.
Uh, he's done oppo research for presidential candidates.
Ooh.
He was in the CIA for 20 fucking years.
Okay, that's impressive, but can I interject one word as a counterargument? Not if the word is "Harvard.
" The word is "Harvard.
" You know, the old line firms are just slaves to the way they've always done things, so afraid to break the rules.
Oh, but you're a different animal, some sort of maverick? I'm not your father's Oldsmobile.
Mm.
God.
And in referencing that ancient commercial, I think I utterly destroyed the point I was just trying to make.
That's okay.
I can probably be talked into giving you a do-over.
You have an eraser on that thing? Yeah, it's a magic.
Hey.
Denna, this is Aimee.
It's good to see you again.
Good to see you, too.
Maybe I could get a couple shots of you two together? Of course.
Maybe over by the desk? Okay.
Yeah.
Don't be fooled by the smile and the tight sweater.
She's a shark looking for an angle.
Oh, think that's what the psychologists refer to as "projection.
" That's funny.
I got interview requests from Business Week and the Journal.
Apparently, we're doing a little press blitz? Yeah.
Well, got to get the word out.
Hmm.
Well, here's what I think.
I think you're looking to protect your ass.
More you're publicly associated with the firm, the more your ouster would hurt the asset value of K and A.
Well, that would be clever if I was really worried about you ousting me.
Hmm.
I mean, losing the face of the company at this early juncture? Eek.
That's great.
How about a fun one? Come on.
Hmm.
Back to back.
That is fun.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm not trying to oust you.
Well, that's great, 'cause I'm not going anywhere.
Hmm.
Denna Altshuler.
Hoo boy.
Yeah.
Hoo boy? Well, that's reassuring.
Well, I may be able to find something electronically digging, but most likely, I'll end up doing some humint, as well.
That's human intelligence.
Well, little lingo from his storied days at the Agency.
You know, that's your outside voice that you're using, Doug.
Was I talking? Sorry.
We usually just ignore him.
Well, Denna does strike me as a careful type, but if there are skeletons, I'll find them.
Well, that's why we came to you, Joe.
- Time will tell.
- Jesus.
I'm so sorry.
That's my son's school.
Take it.
Fucking behave in here.
I'm trying.
Yeah? Doug was it? Yeah, Doug Guggenheim.
This is interesting.
You might want to Sure.
Seriously.
Take a look.
Okay.
If it's numbers.
This particular guy-- handsome? Crazy handsome? What do you think? What are we talking about? Handsome.
What are we talking about? He's gorgeous, but who cares? Looking at shirtless guys during a client meeting? It's not very professional.
I just mention this because this particular guy, at present, is fucking a woman named Sarah Guggenheim.
Pardon me? I'm so sorry.
And in CIA lingo, "fucking" is code for? Help me out, Joe.
I like to do a little background check on the people I'm working with-- always keep it to myself-- but in this case, since, uh, your wife and this guy are canoodling, I thought Soon to be ex-wife, so I could give a shit who she's dating.
Uh-oh.
What's "Oh oh" mean? Uh-oh.
What's this? What's "Uh-oh"? Now I'm looking at her credit card statement.
Let's read it.
Oh, are you still investigating? Let's close the case.
Let's read it.
Open that case up.
What does that statement say? Very recent purchase of Astroglide.
That's not a problem, is it? Well Just so we're on the same page, that is a personal lubricant, right? Very personal.
Mostly employed for anal sex.
Stop me if I'm wrong.
Do we want to jump there? No.
Myriad of uses available.
Plenty.
So many.
Sarah might be menopausal.
There's one.
Although, 32 years old-- doubtful.
I would go with the anal angle.
Well, it could be a gift, so You got to admit he's thorough, huh? I think he's invasive.
Nope.
That's an affront.
Thorough.
Guys.
I'm sorry.
Joe, we good? Oh, I'm good.
This here is not a movie Strong team, we gon' king it till the roof caves in Start a fucking fire, turn the moon red Higher than a phoenix from the dungeon With some true made men Listen, they don't know what we're doing, doing They made their bed, I cannot save them Shit lately optimism hasn't bettered my decision I would love to stay and listen but the moon's waiting Emperor ruling Here to do better than what you're making Turn the music louder, cut the lights off And got some shoes especially for tombs like this You gotta know it's no losing, real power movement - Pop.
Hey.
- Hey.
Hey, Dad.
You okay? Yeah.
You sure? Yeah.
Would it be cool if I just go to class? Uh, no one expects you to.
Why don't you just let me take you home, huh? You can teach me how to play that new, uh, Death Island video game? You gonna head-shrink some zombies, Pop? You see, if I can get to the root of what's causing these zombies to crave human brain, I can cure this whole thing.
Uh, no offense, but I'd rather just be here, do my normal thing.
Is that all right, Dad? Yeah, it's cool.
See you at home.
Burn this fucking place to the ground, Pop.
Yeah, I'll give you the matches.
In the nine years Teddy Grammatico has been at the helm, Davis/Dexter has experienced unprecedented growth in both revenue and number of held patents.
How about we dispense with the history lesson and get to it? Of course, Teddy.
Our goal here is simple.
Achieving greater efficiencies while continuing to find ways to cure the incurable.
Greater efficiencies aren't gonna be enough.
Your high-value R&D strategy is out of sync with the lower price point required for expansion into emerging markets, not to mention the potential bloodbath you're facing with so many of your blockbuster patents-- um, Keltroxin, Vivipro, uh, Fenocor-- they're all set to expire.
Hmm.
We're working on a new cancer drug we're very excited about.
Well, Clyde's dad has cancer.
What? This is where the magic happens.
Come on, let me introduce you to the head of our cancer team.
Hang on.
How is your dad, by the way? Oh, I don't know, but I'm fucking fantastic.
You haven't spoken to him? No, not since I kicked him out.
Oh, my God.
Come on, Clyde.
You got to call him.
He could be lying face down in a gutter somewhere.
You know what? You're right, Doug.
I'm gonna give him a call right now.
There you go.
Beep, boop-boop, blip-blip, blip-blip, buh-blip-blip, blip-blip.
Voice mail.
Right to voice mail! Wow.
You're going to hell, you know that? Not gonna talk to my dad there, either.
What do you think of my CFO? Brent? Uh, he seems passionate about the work you do here, and He's a fucking moron.
Okay.
Between you and me, I'm going to fire him.
That's certainly your prerogative.
You ever been to Dan Tana? The restaurant? Mm-hmm.
A few times.
You like it? Uh, I don't love their pastas, but I-I - I remember them having a really good steak.
- All right.
Let me know what night works for you this week.
We'll go.
Um I Dinners are not good.
In fact, most of my nights are booked, but I could probably do a lunch.
Okay, I see what's happening here.
What's happening? You think I'm asking you out.
What does that say about your self-esteem? It's either so sky high that with you about to pop you think I'm trying to get in your maternity pants, or it's so low that your brain doesn't go to "maybe he just wants to talk about that soon-to-be-open CFO position.
" You're offering me the CFO position? Did I say I was offering it to you? I said I wanted to talk about it.
No, right.
I didn't mean to Between you and me I'm going to offer it to you.
Huh.
"Huh"? Word on the street was that you were looking for a new position, but if I misheard No, no, no.
Yes.
I mean it's just not what I expected.
That's Um the job would be huge.
And I am huge.
Well, by the time this all shakes out, you'll have had your kittens.
Speaking of which, if you're looking for a dumb-as-nails manny, I know a guy who's about to be out of work.
Hi.
I'll see you tonight.
Dan Tana at 8:00.
I'll be there.
We presume it was a student.
We're currently combing through the security footage.
I want to see it.
The security footage? Yeah.
W-Well, obviously, I'd have to check with the school's attorneys.
Yeah, obviously.
And no question we need to find and punish the responsible parties, but I don't want to lose focus on what's crucial here.
Obviously, we're very concerned with Roscoe's well-being.
Everything's so fuckin' obvious, I wonder why we're even having this conversation.
Specifically, what steps are being taken to make sure that Roscoe feels safe and that this doesn't happen again.
We're already coordinating with the Gay-Straight Alliance for a school-wide forum to promote tolerance, kindness and respect.
We're also bringing in a team of counselors for group sessions and one-on-ones.
Mr.
Kaan, your reputation as a psychologist precedes you.
We would love your participation and insight.
Wow.
Well, while you're down there, don't forget to work the balls.
Marty No, Pop, I'm hearing a lot of boilerplate bullshit, but what I'm not hearing is an apology.
I couldn't be sorrier that this happened at my school.
It didn't just happen at your school, John-- you let it happen.
You practically made it happen.
All right, Marty, I know you're upset but he No, Pop, no, I got to tell you, man, your handling of the whole purse affair, real study in leadership.
Basically, because some big donor said "boo," Roscoe became a pariah.
Then it was just open season on my son, with everyone feeling free to spew whatever hateful shit was inside of them.
I've already spoken to Kathy Nichols.
In light of what's happened, everyone is willing to take a long beat on the expulsion talk.
Oh.
Well, that's very generous of you.
Marty I'm as horrified as you are about this.
Obviously.
Hey, it's me again, Dad.
Call me back.
I'm starting to get worried.
I'm proud of you.
Oh, my God.
Fuckin' shoot me.
Hey, um when you have a minute, there's something that I would like to discuss with you.
Good thing? Bad thing? Good thing.
Okay.
After the staff meeting? Great.
Dad.
What Look, I know I'm not allowed to be here.
I just wanted you to see that I'm still alive.
I'll show myself out.
Come on, go after him.
That's what I'm doing, Doug.
Okay, good, good.
Hey, Dad, wait one second.
I was hoping that we could talk, all right? Yeah.
Okay.
Can we do it someplace where that numbnuts isn't hanging around us? I insist.
Yes, please.
Okay.
How you doing? How's it going? Okay, uh, that's good.
On to new business.
What do you got for us, Grant? Something very cool, actually.
Uh I don't want to spook the client.
If their name's in the article No, no.
I get it.
This part can be off the record, right? Unless the new business is an underage sex ring, then I might feel some moral obligation.
You really have character, don't you? My conference call was cancelled.
Figured I'd pop in for a sec? That's fine.
Everybody, you know Denna.
You're actually right on time-- Grant was just about to share some exciting news with us.
Grant.
Okay.
So, I am this close to reeling in Home Depot.
Holy shit.
Home fucking Depot? That would be an amazing pull, but there's a conflict of interest.
Marty signed Ace Hardware last month.
They're actually our biggest client.
Yeah.
What's Home Depot's market cap? Uh, $130 billion.
And what's Ace Hardware's, Marty? $990 million.
Your call.
Guess we have a new biggest client.
See ya, Ace Hardware.
Great job, Grant.
Thanks.
Uh, Rachel.
Well, my team just got back from Ann Arbor, and Con-way Freight wants a full top-down.
But now I'm hearing you have R+L Carriers? Oh, in the wake of a merger, sometimes lines of communication get crossed.
What's R+L's market cap relative to Con-way's? It's less.
Oh.
Shit, I was excited about roping in Russell Stover, but, Christ, I feel like a loser even mentioning it.
Wouldn't you know it, Goetze's Candy is also one of my clients.
And to answer your next question, they do have a smaller market cap.
Goetze's.
I used to really love their caramel creams.
But we can't proceed on sentimentality, can we? No, no, we cannot.
Anybody else? I've had a lot of cappuccinos in my life.
This one-- excellent.
Of course, paying eight dollars for it is kind of like getting a dick up your ass, but still.
Wow.
Well, I'm paying for it, so Well, you can afford it.
You're making good money, my friend.
Why do I feel there's an insult buried deep inside there? Because you are sensitive.
And maybe also because I happen to be a little bit judgmental, especially where your work is concerned.
So just a little bit, or? All right, a lot.
Yeah.
I guess I was always more the risk taker type, you know? Some panned out, some didn't.
The thing is, I see you working in that job for six or seven years, and, all right, I know it's a steady paycheck-- great-- but, uh I mean, don't get me wrong, with a father in and out of the picture, it doesn't take Sigmund Freud to unravel it.
The desire for stability obviously is related to some kind of an instability while you were growing up, right? Well, you know, it wasn't that unstable-- I actually had a pretty good childhood.
Thank God for your mother.
Yes.
And let me tell you, she was something to look at, for real.
Beautiful eyes.
And that tuchas! My God.
I took her for granted.
I fucked a lot of other women on the outside Hey, Dad, you know what? I'd rather not dig back into this shit.
Think maybe we can concentrate on the present? Sure.
Good.
I was thinking, I never actually had an Italian cappuccino.
I mean, cappuccino in Italy, you know? Listen I understand this might be crazy, and maybe this is taking too big of a step, but what do you think-- the two of us go away together for a trip this summer, father and son.
Rome, Florence, Venice, the works.
I don't mean to sound morbid, but isn't planning a trip for the summer kind of Shit, I don't know what's wrong with me? I forgot to tell you-- well, it was all that time we weren't talking and everything.
Listen to this-- I'm cancer-free.
You're cancer how are you cancer-free? Well, you know that I was seeing that herbalist, right? No, you never talked about an herbalist.
Yeah, I was seeing this herbalist.
It was during all this hoodoo voodoo.
He was rubbing these pastes, this disgusting tea that I had to drink-- I'm thinking, what the fuck am I doing here, right? And then one day, he's fooling around, he's pushing on things, he takes one step back and he looks me straight in the eye and he says, "Sir, the cancer is gone.
" Of course, I went to an actual oncologist just to check it out.
Yeah, what was that oncologist's name? Uh, I-I can't remember his name.
You can't remember the oncologist's name? I saw the guy once-- I can't remember.
What hospital? What fucking difference does it make? It's the one you know, the one that's over by the by the Beverly Center.
Cedars.
Okay.
That was easy.
And the herbalist? Alphonse.
Can we quit it with the third fucking degree? The point is, I'm healthy, okay? So can we celebrate? You know, out of all the fucking asshole shit that you've done, lying that you're at death's door? Are you Oh, my fucking God, Dad.
Where is this coming from? What the fuck is wrong with you? Have you gone wacko? You're right, you're right.
Let's call Alphonse.
Huh? Or Cedars.
Or how about the doctors back home? Which one of those? I needed a jump start.
Oh, my fucking God, Dad.
I knew that you weren't gonna accept me with open arms unless I had some When you get to be my age, you'll Clyde, what I wanted was What was it that you wanted? Huh? To get close to me? Because all you ever did when you were here was sit in my apartment and act like a fucking asshole.
Except for, of course, when you came to my work and acted like an asshole.
I get it, I get it now, Dad, why you're going on and on about the Holocaust-- because only viewed against Himmler and Goebbels can you be seen as anything less than a fucking shitbag.
With your rationalizations, and your lies and your pretentious shit, the meerschaum pipe, the fuckin' pipe, and your rabbinic solemnity, perfectly calibrated to make every utterance sound like wisdom, but you have no wisdom.
Every piece of advice you've given is bullshit, because you have never succeeded anything in your fucking life.
What are those recipes that panned out, dad? Because I can't think of one.
You are a complete failure in every single way.
What a waste of a fuckin' life.
I don't feel so good.
Good.
I'm serious, I'm getting this, like, twinging feeling in my chest.
Oh, my God, are we doing heart attacks now? - Just go get me a glass of water.
- Fuck you, you know what.
Stand up! I'm gonna call you a cab to the airport, and you get out of my fuckin' life! Dad.
Dad.
Good day for Associates.
Not such a good day for Kaan.
Ah.
Hmm.
And they just happened to land those particular companies on their own? Money open some doors.
So what is the play, Denna? Make me feel so miserable that, what, I just walk away? No.
I don't want you to go.
Well, actually, I can't let you go.
Right? You're the face of the company.
I'm the face of the company.
That's what you told me.
Yeah.
But with no real client base, ergo no power.
Mm.
Just a figurehead.
Well, that's up to you, right? I'm sure you can hustle up some new clients.
You'll just come up with bigger ones to squeeze me out.
To evil.
You always need a villain.
Yeah.
So I guess here's the part where I thank you for giving me what I needed.
Hey, I wasn't the villain here.
You made me one.
Oh.
Well, then I guess I get to feel better about my villainy by comparison.
Is that how this whole thing works? You know what, you're not even here if not for me.
And how did you say thank you? You spit on my turnaround artist, you spit on one of my biggest clients, you spit on me.
Denna Hey, you ruined this thing, not me.
You think I give anyone as much rope as I gave you? Yeah, that's how I became a billionaire.
But I gave it to you.
'Cause I'm a goddamn idiot.
Okay.
Well, I'll call off the dogs if I feel like I can trust you.
You need to prove to me that I can trust you.
Oh.
So all I have to do to get things back on the right track is start being your little bitch.
That's not what I said.
It's what you meant.
Okay then, let's play word games.
We can play word games all day if you want.
But you are already my little bitch.
Uh-huh.
Hey, hey.
You're back.
How'd things go with your dad? He died.
You're joking.
You're not joking.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, Clyde.
I Well, hey, at least on the upside, Uh, no, that's actually what killed him.
I went loose on him, and he had a heart attack.
Uh-huh I think I know where this is headed.
Because I pushed you into talking with him, somehow is is on me.
Uh-uh.
No.
I-I just said to have a chat.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I So he kills his father, and I'm the bad guy.
Okay.
Hey, Joe, listen, goddamn it.
Just fucking get it done.
I don't give a fuck how much it costs.
Make it the fuck happen.
That was Joe Gideon.
Want to know what he's dug up so far on Denna? That she tradedon*** insidn to short the Gage Motors stock.
We, this isn't over.
She fucking knew, Jeannie.
She knew.
You try to get rid of me, I'm coming back at your ass with holy hell.
But you cut off my arms my legs, take away everything that makes me fucking formidable, poof, threat's gone.
It's insidious.
It's insidious, and it is so fucking smart.
But guess what, I'm smart, too, bitch.
Fuck.
So, Jeannie, I need you to shake the trees 'cause we're gonna go DEFCON 1 on Okay.
Well, if you need me to lob in a call, just let me know.
You're responsible for my offer from Davis/Dexter, aren't you? Um, I've known Teddy Grammatico for a long time.
Okay, well, fuck that shit.
- Jeanni - I hope you and Teddy had a really nice laugh about it.
It wasn't like that, all right? He was chewing my ear off about his CFO, and I put your name up for it.
Teddy's not a pushover or an idiot.
Hey, he doesn't just hand over a position to someone he doesn't want.
Well, I'm not taking the job, so Okay.
Well, I know you and Marty have mended fences, and that's obviously complicating for you.
This has nothing to do with Marty.
Listen, 'cause I actually know a few things.
Even when you're very bright and very ambitious, jobs like this don't come along often for women.
Oh.
I should call the folks at NOW, let 'em know someone's got their Woman of the Year Award all wrapped up.
I've already been their Woman of the Year.
Actually, they call it the Woman of Courage Award, but it's pretty much the same thing.
This wasn't some act of sisterhood.
It wasn't.
But if I'm you, I don't let that stop me from taking the job of a lifetime.
Idiot.
Night, Dad.
Night.
Night, Grandpa.
Night, son.
Roscoe, you know if you want to talk Yours is the room at the end of the hall.
You know you're a smartass.
You know, he's not processing this.
No, he's hiding behind that teenage bravado.
It doesn't have to be tonight, but he's gonna have to face it.
I don't know, Pop.
I mean, some asshole fucked with him, and he's not letting it get him down.
I don't think that's something that needs to be fixed.
I mean, it sounds like strength.
Motherfu Hello? Sorry.
I-I just spilled coffee.
It's Joe Gideon.
I'm downstairs.
Yeah, I'll buzz you up.
How much do you know about Thomas Altshuler? Um Have a seat.
Denna's father? Big time D.
C.
lawyer.
Not to mention a go-to advisor for several presidents.
Unlike most shitbags in Washington, Thomas' reputation was built on probity and honesty.
A few years ago, this 80-year-old heavyweight, he steps in dog shit.
How big? A steamy, ginormous pile of it.
Middle Eastern international banking concern, very shady, paid Tom a hefty fee to help keep their illegal takeover of an American bank hush-hush.
Oh, boy.
The D.
A.
wanted to pounce.
Denna summoned every square inch of her power to stave off an indictment, keep his name out of the press.
Well, the girl loves her daddy.
Mm.
Fuck her shit up if this came out, huh? No kidding.
I would not want to be the one to unleash that monster.
Which I see you're now considering.
You just have to wave it in her face to get everything you want.
Oh, Marty wants a lot of things, Joe.
So you're a crazy person.
Cool.
Well, if it comes up, you got all that information from the tooth fairy.
Well, I really want to thank you for this.
No, no.
Tooth fairy.
Tooth fairy.
Hey, Aimee, it's Marty Kaan.
I Yeah, I know what time it is.
It's late.
I got a watch.
Listen, I found something that you might find interesting.
Uh, you remember that intrigue a few years back with Gulf Financial? Yeah, well, it turns out that Azhar Halabi was in bed with Thomas Altshuler.
Yep.
And guess who suppressed that shit.
Yeah.
I-I'll send you everything I have.
Uh Aimee, I got I got to go.
Roscoe.
Hmm? Get in here.
What's up? So, the school, uh, sent over the surveillance footage from last night.
There was footage? Yeah, look.
Take a look.
Maybe you'll recognize who it is.
I mean, he's got a hoodie on, same brand that you wear.
What-What's that brand? Zero.
Yeah, Zero.
A lot of kids have 'em.
You know who that kid is? No.
Tom And Bobby They gone Jesus, Roscoe.
They don't Live here long Come In hungry You gone Left us with none but crumbs Out in the fields
Molly.
Whatever is decided here, I'm sure Roscoe will land on his feet.
She has a lot of influence in our school community and she wants Roscoe expelled.
Somewhere along the way, you convinced yourself that you had real power.
And now you're a problem I have to solve.
Do you want to make a phone call? Or, you know, look sort of busy? This isn't looking busy? Maybe look like you're crunching some numbers.
God, this feels still so stiff.
It's like a JCPenney catalog.
Maybe type something up? It's not a JCPenney catalog.
How about this? Yeah.
What? Can I? Hey, Blue Man Group, say words.
What? Can I talk to you for a sec? Open your Sorry.
Okay.
It's fine.
Everything's fine.
What?! So, I thought you should know that Denna is in the building.
Does she have a gun? I mean, I don't think so.
Okay.
Well Jesus, Mar Denna Altshuler is on her way up.
Oh, my God! Are you serious? Yeah.
There's nothing in the fridge, and my hair is a disaster.
What are we gonna do? Why am I the only person even remotely concerned about this? Marty openly defied a powerful jillionaire.
You know what they say about a woman scorned? That it's a sexist, borderline misogynistic expression? Oh, that's right, this is the-the new, sensitive, dating-Kelsey Clyde.
I forgot.
How about this? You're a jittery twat.
Does that feel better, more comfortable? No, it, I mean, it feels worse, but at least normal.
You have nothing to worry about.
Marty has it under control.
With the press play and the corporate intelligence component, we are fine.
"Corporate intelligence"? What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Marty asked me to find a forensic accountant to look into Denna Altshuler's financial history, all right? We're gonna meet with him this morning.
This morning? Yeah, before the Davis/Dexter consult, which reminds me.
Where are we with those pro forma revenue models? What? I don't know.
You don't know? Okay! Not a big consult or anything.
Just the third largest pharma in the country.
I know they're not the ones that make your roofies, but I feel like we should care about it.
What do we know about this forensic accountant? I mean, really.
Can we trust an outsider with something this sensitive? Doug, you are so far out of your league on this one, it's insane.
Uh, out of the countless research tasks that Marty's given me over the years, have I ever disappointed? Look, we are doing battle with Denna Altshuler! We're not trying to find the best Thai fusion restaurant in Santa Fe.
That's a very specific category in a very small city! Oh, you think your guy could find Golden Buddha? Joe Gideon has gathered competitive intelligence for Fortune 500 companies.
Uh, he's done oppo research for presidential candidates.
Ooh.
He was in the CIA for 20 fucking years.
Okay, that's impressive, but can I interject one word as a counterargument? Not if the word is "Harvard.
" The word is "Harvard.
" You know, the old line firms are just slaves to the way they've always done things, so afraid to break the rules.
Oh, but you're a different animal, some sort of maverick? I'm not your father's Oldsmobile.
Mm.
God.
And in referencing that ancient commercial, I think I utterly destroyed the point I was just trying to make.
That's okay.
I can probably be talked into giving you a do-over.
You have an eraser on that thing? Yeah, it's a magic.
Hey.
Denna, this is Aimee.
It's good to see you again.
Good to see you, too.
Maybe I could get a couple shots of you two together? Of course.
Maybe over by the desk? Okay.
Yeah.
Don't be fooled by the smile and the tight sweater.
She's a shark looking for an angle.
Oh, think that's what the psychologists refer to as "projection.
" That's funny.
I got interview requests from Business Week and the Journal.
Apparently, we're doing a little press blitz? Yeah.
Well, got to get the word out.
Hmm.
Well, here's what I think.
I think you're looking to protect your ass.
More you're publicly associated with the firm, the more your ouster would hurt the asset value of K and A.
Well, that would be clever if I was really worried about you ousting me.
Hmm.
I mean, losing the face of the company at this early juncture? Eek.
That's great.
How about a fun one? Come on.
Hmm.
Back to back.
That is fun.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm not trying to oust you.
Well, that's great, 'cause I'm not going anywhere.
Hmm.
Denna Altshuler.
Hoo boy.
Yeah.
Hoo boy? Well, that's reassuring.
Well, I may be able to find something electronically digging, but most likely, I'll end up doing some humint, as well.
That's human intelligence.
Well, little lingo from his storied days at the Agency.
You know, that's your outside voice that you're using, Doug.
Was I talking? Sorry.
We usually just ignore him.
Well, Denna does strike me as a careful type, but if there are skeletons, I'll find them.
Well, that's why we came to you, Joe.
- Time will tell.
- Jesus.
I'm so sorry.
That's my son's school.
Take it.
Fucking behave in here.
I'm trying.
Yeah? Doug was it? Yeah, Doug Guggenheim.
This is interesting.
You might want to Sure.
Seriously.
Take a look.
Okay.
If it's numbers.
This particular guy-- handsome? Crazy handsome? What do you think? What are we talking about? Handsome.
What are we talking about? He's gorgeous, but who cares? Looking at shirtless guys during a client meeting? It's not very professional.
I just mention this because this particular guy, at present, is fucking a woman named Sarah Guggenheim.
Pardon me? I'm so sorry.
And in CIA lingo, "fucking" is code for? Help me out, Joe.
I like to do a little background check on the people I'm working with-- always keep it to myself-- but in this case, since, uh, your wife and this guy are canoodling, I thought Soon to be ex-wife, so I could give a shit who she's dating.
Uh-oh.
What's "Oh oh" mean? Uh-oh.
What's this? What's "Uh-oh"? Now I'm looking at her credit card statement.
Let's read it.
Oh, are you still investigating? Let's close the case.
Let's read it.
Open that case up.
What does that statement say? Very recent purchase of Astroglide.
That's not a problem, is it? Well Just so we're on the same page, that is a personal lubricant, right? Very personal.
Mostly employed for anal sex.
Stop me if I'm wrong.
Do we want to jump there? No.
Myriad of uses available.
Plenty.
So many.
Sarah might be menopausal.
There's one.
Although, 32 years old-- doubtful.
I would go with the anal angle.
Well, it could be a gift, so You got to admit he's thorough, huh? I think he's invasive.
Nope.
That's an affront.
Thorough.
Guys.
I'm sorry.
Joe, we good? Oh, I'm good.
This here is not a movie Strong team, we gon' king it till the roof caves in Start a fucking fire, turn the moon red Higher than a phoenix from the dungeon With some true made men Listen, they don't know what we're doing, doing They made their bed, I cannot save them Shit lately optimism hasn't bettered my decision I would love to stay and listen but the moon's waiting Emperor ruling Here to do better than what you're making Turn the music louder, cut the lights off And got some shoes especially for tombs like this You gotta know it's no losing, real power movement - Pop.
Hey.
- Hey.
Hey, Dad.
You okay? Yeah.
You sure? Yeah.
Would it be cool if I just go to class? Uh, no one expects you to.
Why don't you just let me take you home, huh? You can teach me how to play that new, uh, Death Island video game? You gonna head-shrink some zombies, Pop? You see, if I can get to the root of what's causing these zombies to crave human brain, I can cure this whole thing.
Uh, no offense, but I'd rather just be here, do my normal thing.
Is that all right, Dad? Yeah, it's cool.
See you at home.
Burn this fucking place to the ground, Pop.
Yeah, I'll give you the matches.
In the nine years Teddy Grammatico has been at the helm, Davis/Dexter has experienced unprecedented growth in both revenue and number of held patents.
How about we dispense with the history lesson and get to it? Of course, Teddy.
Our goal here is simple.
Achieving greater efficiencies while continuing to find ways to cure the incurable.
Greater efficiencies aren't gonna be enough.
Your high-value R&D strategy is out of sync with the lower price point required for expansion into emerging markets, not to mention the potential bloodbath you're facing with so many of your blockbuster patents-- um, Keltroxin, Vivipro, uh, Fenocor-- they're all set to expire.
Hmm.
We're working on a new cancer drug we're very excited about.
Well, Clyde's dad has cancer.
What? This is where the magic happens.
Come on, let me introduce you to the head of our cancer team.
Hang on.
How is your dad, by the way? Oh, I don't know, but I'm fucking fantastic.
You haven't spoken to him? No, not since I kicked him out.
Oh, my God.
Come on, Clyde.
You got to call him.
He could be lying face down in a gutter somewhere.
You know what? You're right, Doug.
I'm gonna give him a call right now.
There you go.
Beep, boop-boop, blip-blip, blip-blip, buh-blip-blip, blip-blip.
Voice mail.
Right to voice mail! Wow.
You're going to hell, you know that? Not gonna talk to my dad there, either.
What do you think of my CFO? Brent? Uh, he seems passionate about the work you do here, and He's a fucking moron.
Okay.
Between you and me, I'm going to fire him.
That's certainly your prerogative.
You ever been to Dan Tana? The restaurant? Mm-hmm.
A few times.
You like it? Uh, I don't love their pastas, but I-I - I remember them having a really good steak.
- All right.
Let me know what night works for you this week.
We'll go.
Um I Dinners are not good.
In fact, most of my nights are booked, but I could probably do a lunch.
Okay, I see what's happening here.
What's happening? You think I'm asking you out.
What does that say about your self-esteem? It's either so sky high that with you about to pop you think I'm trying to get in your maternity pants, or it's so low that your brain doesn't go to "maybe he just wants to talk about that soon-to-be-open CFO position.
" You're offering me the CFO position? Did I say I was offering it to you? I said I wanted to talk about it.
No, right.
I didn't mean to Between you and me I'm going to offer it to you.
Huh.
"Huh"? Word on the street was that you were looking for a new position, but if I misheard No, no, no.
Yes.
I mean it's just not what I expected.
That's Um the job would be huge.
And I am huge.
Well, by the time this all shakes out, you'll have had your kittens.
Speaking of which, if you're looking for a dumb-as-nails manny, I know a guy who's about to be out of work.
Hi.
I'll see you tonight.
Dan Tana at 8:00.
I'll be there.
We presume it was a student.
We're currently combing through the security footage.
I want to see it.
The security footage? Yeah.
W-Well, obviously, I'd have to check with the school's attorneys.
Yeah, obviously.
And no question we need to find and punish the responsible parties, but I don't want to lose focus on what's crucial here.
Obviously, we're very concerned with Roscoe's well-being.
Everything's so fuckin' obvious, I wonder why we're even having this conversation.
Specifically, what steps are being taken to make sure that Roscoe feels safe and that this doesn't happen again.
We're already coordinating with the Gay-Straight Alliance for a school-wide forum to promote tolerance, kindness and respect.
We're also bringing in a team of counselors for group sessions and one-on-ones.
Mr.
Kaan, your reputation as a psychologist precedes you.
We would love your participation and insight.
Wow.
Well, while you're down there, don't forget to work the balls.
Marty No, Pop, I'm hearing a lot of boilerplate bullshit, but what I'm not hearing is an apology.
I couldn't be sorrier that this happened at my school.
It didn't just happen at your school, John-- you let it happen.
You practically made it happen.
All right, Marty, I know you're upset but he No, Pop, no, I got to tell you, man, your handling of the whole purse affair, real study in leadership.
Basically, because some big donor said "boo," Roscoe became a pariah.
Then it was just open season on my son, with everyone feeling free to spew whatever hateful shit was inside of them.
I've already spoken to Kathy Nichols.
In light of what's happened, everyone is willing to take a long beat on the expulsion talk.
Oh.
Well, that's very generous of you.
Marty I'm as horrified as you are about this.
Obviously.
Hey, it's me again, Dad.
Call me back.
I'm starting to get worried.
I'm proud of you.
Oh, my God.
Fuckin' shoot me.
Hey, um when you have a minute, there's something that I would like to discuss with you.
Good thing? Bad thing? Good thing.
Okay.
After the staff meeting? Great.
Dad.
What Look, I know I'm not allowed to be here.
I just wanted you to see that I'm still alive.
I'll show myself out.
Come on, go after him.
That's what I'm doing, Doug.
Okay, good, good.
Hey, Dad, wait one second.
I was hoping that we could talk, all right? Yeah.
Okay.
Can we do it someplace where that numbnuts isn't hanging around us? I insist.
Yes, please.
Okay.
How you doing? How's it going? Okay, uh, that's good.
On to new business.
What do you got for us, Grant? Something very cool, actually.
Uh I don't want to spook the client.
If their name's in the article No, no.
I get it.
This part can be off the record, right? Unless the new business is an underage sex ring, then I might feel some moral obligation.
You really have character, don't you? My conference call was cancelled.
Figured I'd pop in for a sec? That's fine.
Everybody, you know Denna.
You're actually right on time-- Grant was just about to share some exciting news with us.
Grant.
Okay.
So, I am this close to reeling in Home Depot.
Holy shit.
Home fucking Depot? That would be an amazing pull, but there's a conflict of interest.
Marty signed Ace Hardware last month.
They're actually our biggest client.
Yeah.
What's Home Depot's market cap? Uh, $130 billion.
And what's Ace Hardware's, Marty? $990 million.
Your call.
Guess we have a new biggest client.
See ya, Ace Hardware.
Great job, Grant.
Thanks.
Uh, Rachel.
Well, my team just got back from Ann Arbor, and Con-way Freight wants a full top-down.
But now I'm hearing you have R+L Carriers? Oh, in the wake of a merger, sometimes lines of communication get crossed.
What's R+L's market cap relative to Con-way's? It's less.
Oh.
Shit, I was excited about roping in Russell Stover, but, Christ, I feel like a loser even mentioning it.
Wouldn't you know it, Goetze's Candy is also one of my clients.
And to answer your next question, they do have a smaller market cap.
Goetze's.
I used to really love their caramel creams.
But we can't proceed on sentimentality, can we? No, no, we cannot.
Anybody else? I've had a lot of cappuccinos in my life.
This one-- excellent.
Of course, paying eight dollars for it is kind of like getting a dick up your ass, but still.
Wow.
Well, I'm paying for it, so Well, you can afford it.
You're making good money, my friend.
Why do I feel there's an insult buried deep inside there? Because you are sensitive.
And maybe also because I happen to be a little bit judgmental, especially where your work is concerned.
So just a little bit, or? All right, a lot.
Yeah.
I guess I was always more the risk taker type, you know? Some panned out, some didn't.
The thing is, I see you working in that job for six or seven years, and, all right, I know it's a steady paycheck-- great-- but, uh I mean, don't get me wrong, with a father in and out of the picture, it doesn't take Sigmund Freud to unravel it.
The desire for stability obviously is related to some kind of an instability while you were growing up, right? Well, you know, it wasn't that unstable-- I actually had a pretty good childhood.
Thank God for your mother.
Yes.
And let me tell you, she was something to look at, for real.
Beautiful eyes.
And that tuchas! My God.
I took her for granted.
I fucked a lot of other women on the outside Hey, Dad, you know what? I'd rather not dig back into this shit.
Think maybe we can concentrate on the present? Sure.
Good.
I was thinking, I never actually had an Italian cappuccino.
I mean, cappuccino in Italy, you know? Listen I understand this might be crazy, and maybe this is taking too big of a step, but what do you think-- the two of us go away together for a trip this summer, father and son.
Rome, Florence, Venice, the works.
I don't mean to sound morbid, but isn't planning a trip for the summer kind of Shit, I don't know what's wrong with me? I forgot to tell you-- well, it was all that time we weren't talking and everything.
Listen to this-- I'm cancer-free.
You're cancer how are you cancer-free? Well, you know that I was seeing that herbalist, right? No, you never talked about an herbalist.
Yeah, I was seeing this herbalist.
It was during all this hoodoo voodoo.
He was rubbing these pastes, this disgusting tea that I had to drink-- I'm thinking, what the fuck am I doing here, right? And then one day, he's fooling around, he's pushing on things, he takes one step back and he looks me straight in the eye and he says, "Sir, the cancer is gone.
" Of course, I went to an actual oncologist just to check it out.
Yeah, what was that oncologist's name? Uh, I-I can't remember his name.
You can't remember the oncologist's name? I saw the guy once-- I can't remember.
What hospital? What fucking difference does it make? It's the one you know, the one that's over by the by the Beverly Center.
Cedars.
Okay.
That was easy.
And the herbalist? Alphonse.
Can we quit it with the third fucking degree? The point is, I'm healthy, okay? So can we celebrate? You know, out of all the fucking asshole shit that you've done, lying that you're at death's door? Are you Oh, my fucking God, Dad.
Where is this coming from? What the fuck is wrong with you? Have you gone wacko? You're right, you're right.
Let's call Alphonse.
Huh? Or Cedars.
Or how about the doctors back home? Which one of those? I needed a jump start.
Oh, my fucking God, Dad.
I knew that you weren't gonna accept me with open arms unless I had some When you get to be my age, you'll Clyde, what I wanted was What was it that you wanted? Huh? To get close to me? Because all you ever did when you were here was sit in my apartment and act like a fucking asshole.
Except for, of course, when you came to my work and acted like an asshole.
I get it, I get it now, Dad, why you're going on and on about the Holocaust-- because only viewed against Himmler and Goebbels can you be seen as anything less than a fucking shitbag.
With your rationalizations, and your lies and your pretentious shit, the meerschaum pipe, the fuckin' pipe, and your rabbinic solemnity, perfectly calibrated to make every utterance sound like wisdom, but you have no wisdom.
Every piece of advice you've given is bullshit, because you have never succeeded anything in your fucking life.
What are those recipes that panned out, dad? Because I can't think of one.
You are a complete failure in every single way.
What a waste of a fuckin' life.
I don't feel so good.
Good.
I'm serious, I'm getting this, like, twinging feeling in my chest.
Oh, my God, are we doing heart attacks now? - Just go get me a glass of water.
- Fuck you, you know what.
Stand up! I'm gonna call you a cab to the airport, and you get out of my fuckin' life! Dad.
Dad.
Good day for Associates.
Not such a good day for Kaan.
Ah.
Hmm.
And they just happened to land those particular companies on their own? Money open some doors.
So what is the play, Denna? Make me feel so miserable that, what, I just walk away? No.
I don't want you to go.
Well, actually, I can't let you go.
Right? You're the face of the company.
I'm the face of the company.
That's what you told me.
Yeah.
But with no real client base, ergo no power.
Mm.
Just a figurehead.
Well, that's up to you, right? I'm sure you can hustle up some new clients.
You'll just come up with bigger ones to squeeze me out.
To evil.
You always need a villain.
Yeah.
So I guess here's the part where I thank you for giving me what I needed.
Hey, I wasn't the villain here.
You made me one.
Oh.
Well, then I guess I get to feel better about my villainy by comparison.
Is that how this whole thing works? You know what, you're not even here if not for me.
And how did you say thank you? You spit on my turnaround artist, you spit on one of my biggest clients, you spit on me.
Denna Hey, you ruined this thing, not me.
You think I give anyone as much rope as I gave you? Yeah, that's how I became a billionaire.
But I gave it to you.
'Cause I'm a goddamn idiot.
Okay.
Well, I'll call off the dogs if I feel like I can trust you.
You need to prove to me that I can trust you.
Oh.
So all I have to do to get things back on the right track is start being your little bitch.
That's not what I said.
It's what you meant.
Okay then, let's play word games.
We can play word games all day if you want.
But you are already my little bitch.
Uh-huh.
Hey, hey.
You're back.
How'd things go with your dad? He died.
You're joking.
You're not joking.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, Clyde.
I Well, hey, at least on the upside, Uh, no, that's actually what killed him.
I went loose on him, and he had a heart attack.
Uh-huh I think I know where this is headed.
Because I pushed you into talking with him, somehow is is on me.
Uh-uh.
No.
I-I just said to have a chat.
Oh, God, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I So he kills his father, and I'm the bad guy.
Okay.
Hey, Joe, listen, goddamn it.
Just fucking get it done.
I don't give a fuck how much it costs.
Make it the fuck happen.
That was Joe Gideon.
Want to know what he's dug up so far on Denna? That she tradedon*** insidn to short the Gage Motors stock.
We, this isn't over.
She fucking knew, Jeannie.
She knew.
You try to get rid of me, I'm coming back at your ass with holy hell.
But you cut off my arms my legs, take away everything that makes me fucking formidable, poof, threat's gone.
It's insidious.
It's insidious, and it is so fucking smart.
But guess what, I'm smart, too, bitch.
Fuck.
So, Jeannie, I need you to shake the trees 'cause we're gonna go DEFCON 1 on Okay.
Well, if you need me to lob in a call, just let me know.
You're responsible for my offer from Davis/Dexter, aren't you? Um, I've known Teddy Grammatico for a long time.
Okay, well, fuck that shit.
- Jeanni - I hope you and Teddy had a really nice laugh about it.
It wasn't like that, all right? He was chewing my ear off about his CFO, and I put your name up for it.
Teddy's not a pushover or an idiot.
Hey, he doesn't just hand over a position to someone he doesn't want.
Well, I'm not taking the job, so Okay.
Well, I know you and Marty have mended fences, and that's obviously complicating for you.
This has nothing to do with Marty.
Listen, 'cause I actually know a few things.
Even when you're very bright and very ambitious, jobs like this don't come along often for women.
Oh.
I should call the folks at NOW, let 'em know someone's got their Woman of the Year Award all wrapped up.
I've already been their Woman of the Year.
Actually, they call it the Woman of Courage Award, but it's pretty much the same thing.
This wasn't some act of sisterhood.
It wasn't.
But if I'm you, I don't let that stop me from taking the job of a lifetime.
Idiot.
Night, Dad.
Night.
Night, Grandpa.
Night, son.
Roscoe, you know if you want to talk Yours is the room at the end of the hall.
You know you're a smartass.
You know, he's not processing this.
No, he's hiding behind that teenage bravado.
It doesn't have to be tonight, but he's gonna have to face it.
I don't know, Pop.
I mean, some asshole fucked with him, and he's not letting it get him down.
I don't think that's something that needs to be fixed.
I mean, it sounds like strength.
Motherfu Hello? Sorry.
I-I just spilled coffee.
It's Joe Gideon.
I'm downstairs.
Yeah, I'll buzz you up.
How much do you know about Thomas Altshuler? Um Have a seat.
Denna's father? Big time D.
C.
lawyer.
Not to mention a go-to advisor for several presidents.
Unlike most shitbags in Washington, Thomas' reputation was built on probity and honesty.
A few years ago, this 80-year-old heavyweight, he steps in dog shit.
How big? A steamy, ginormous pile of it.
Middle Eastern international banking concern, very shady, paid Tom a hefty fee to help keep their illegal takeover of an American bank hush-hush.
Oh, boy.
The D.
A.
wanted to pounce.
Denna summoned every square inch of her power to stave off an indictment, keep his name out of the press.
Well, the girl loves her daddy.
Mm.
Fuck her shit up if this came out, huh? No kidding.
I would not want to be the one to unleash that monster.
Which I see you're now considering.
You just have to wave it in her face to get everything you want.
Oh, Marty wants a lot of things, Joe.
So you're a crazy person.
Cool.
Well, if it comes up, you got all that information from the tooth fairy.
Well, I really want to thank you for this.
No, no.
Tooth fairy.
Tooth fairy.
Hey, Aimee, it's Marty Kaan.
I Yeah, I know what time it is.
It's late.
I got a watch.
Listen, I found something that you might find interesting.
Uh, you remember that intrigue a few years back with Gulf Financial? Yeah, well, it turns out that Azhar Halabi was in bed with Thomas Altshuler.
Yep.
And guess who suppressed that shit.
Yeah.
I-I'll send you everything I have.
Uh Aimee, I got I got to go.
Roscoe.
Hmm? Get in here.
What's up? So, the school, uh, sent over the surveillance footage from last night.
There was footage? Yeah, look.
Take a look.
Maybe you'll recognize who it is.
I mean, he's got a hoodie on, same brand that you wear.
What-What's that brand? Zero.
Yeah, Zero.
A lot of kids have 'em.
You know who that kid is? No.
Tom And Bobby They gone Jesus, Roscoe.
They don't Live here long Come In hungry You gone Left us with none but crumbs Out in the fields