Impractical Jokers (2017) s04e11 Episode Script
Pseudo-Sumo
narrator: Coming up, what's got q and murr kicking and screaming? Got q and murr kicking and screaming? keep it down! Screaming? keep it down! No dessert! keep it down! No dessert! Keep it down! No dessert! Keep it down! narrator: Why is sal trying Keep it down! narrator: Why is sal trying to make like a tree? narrator: Why is sal trying to make like a tree? you want to get out of here, To make like a tree? you want to get out of here, or you want to get out of here, or [ laughter .]
Or [ laughter .]
narrator: And which joker [ laughter .]
narrator: And which joker will be saying "sayonara" in narrator: And which joker will be saying "sayonara" in tonight's sumo-sized punishment? Will be saying "sayonara" in tonight's sumo-sized punishment? yah! Tonight's sumo-sized punishment? yah! prepare for something yah! prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today we're teaming up at trump rink in central park, renting out ice skates.
while manning the counter, we've got to do and say that the We've got to do and say that the other guys tell us.
and, of course, if you refuse to do or say anything you're To do or say anything you're told, you lose.
Told, you lose.
they're on thin ice.
they're on thin ice.
yeah! yeah! whoa! We got burned! whoa! We got burned! horrible comedy.
horrible comedy.
[ laughing .]
horrible comedy.
[ as teenage girl .]
next weekend you want to come with me to my parents' summer Weekend you want to come with me to my parents' summer beach house? With me to my parents' summer beach house? [ as teenage girl .]
as if.
Beach house? [ as teenage girl .]
as if.
I'm punished.
[ as teenage girl .]
as if.
I'm punished.
no! I'm punished.
no! yes! no! yes! I don't want to say anything, yes! I don't want to say anything, but your mom's a "b" to the I don't want to say anything, but your mom's a "b" to the "itch.
" But your mom's a "b" to the "itch.
" [ laughter .]
"itch.
" [ laughter .]
I think I need new best I think I need new best friends.
[ laughter .]
Friends.
[ laughter .]
now help this customer.
[ laughter .]
now help this customer.
[ normal voice .]
hi.
now help this customer.
[ normal voice .]
hi.
How are you? [ normal voice .]
hi.
How are you? good.
How are you? good.
so, you got the two here, good.
so, you got the two here, right? so, you got the two here, right? yes.
Right? yes.
okay.
yes.
okay.
[ normal voice .]
how do okay.
[ normal voice .]
how do we do? [ normal voice .]
how do we do? guys, she shouldn't be We do? guys, she shouldn't be touching the desk! guys, she shouldn't be touching the desk! this is for the, uh -- Touching the desk! this is for the, uh -- whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! this is for the, uh -- whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't touch the desk! whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't touch the desk! [ laughter .]
Don't touch the desk! [ laughter .]
and she needs to step at [ laughter .]
and she needs to step at least two feet back.
and she needs to step at least two feet back.
so, this is the -- Least two feet back.
so, this is the -- you got to just step back so, this is the -- you got to just step back about a foot.
you got to just step back about a foot.
thank you so much.
About a foot.
thank you so much.
Appreciate it.
thank you so much.
Appreciate it.
just -- just -- just -- Appreciate it.
just -- just -- just -- thank you very much.
just -- just -- just -- thank you very much.
great.
Thank you very much.
great.
[ laughs .]
great.
[ laughs .]
okay.
This is -- [ laughs .]
okay.
This is -- keep her hands up.
okay.
This is -- keep her hands up.
She's got to keep her hands up.
keep her hands up.
She's got to keep her hands up.
you got to get the hands She's got to keep her hands up.
you got to get the hands up, please.
you got to get the hands up, please.
Hands up.
Up, please.
Hands up.
[ laughter .]
Hands up.
[ laughter .]
don't let her put her hands [ laughter .]
don't let her put her hands down, sal, no matter what.
don't let her put her hands down, sal, no matter what.
see you, guys.
Down, sal, no matter what.
see you, guys.
All right.
Yep.
see you, guys.
All right.
Yep.
There you go.
All right.
Yep.
There you go.
Good.
Keep 'em up all the way There you go.
Good.
Keep 'em up all the way outside.
Good.
Keep 'em up all the way outside.
Thank you.
All the way out.
Outside.
Thank you.
All the way out.
All the way out.
Thank you.
All the way out.
All the way out.
keep 'em up! All the way out.
keep 'em up! Keep them up! keep 'em up! Keep them up! Keep them up! Keep them up! Keep them up! keep 'em up! Keep them up! keep 'em up! keep them up! keep 'em up! keep them up! up! keep them up! up! up! up! up! up! up! up! keep them up! up! keep them up! u-p -- up! keep them up! u-p -- up! up, I said! Keep 'em up! u-p -- up! up, I said! Keep 'em up! both: [ as teenage girls .]
up, I said! Keep 'em up! both: [ as teenage girls .]
some people! both: [ as teenage girls .]
some people! [ laughter .]
Some people! [ laughter .]
guys, this is probably a good [ laughter .]
guys, this is probably a good time to take your lunch break.
guys, this is probably a good time to take your lunch break.
Sal, you want to go on lunch Time to take your lunch break.
Sal, you want to go on lunch break first? Sal, you want to go on lunch break first? [ normal voice .]
sure.
Break first? [ normal voice .]
sure.
down at your feet, there's [ normal voice .]
sure.
down at your feet, there's two skates.
down at your feet, there's two skates.
the ones on the floor? Two skates.
the ones on the floor? the ones on the floor.
the ones on the floor? the ones on the floor.
There you go, bud.
the ones on the floor.
There you go, bud.
You got some chicken fingers and There you go, bud.
You got some chicken fingers and fries in there.
You got some chicken fingers and fries in there.
I mean, with most sincerity, Fries in there.
I mean, with most sincerity, go [bleep.]
yourself.
I mean, with most sincerity, go [bleep.]
yourself.
[ laughter .]
Go [bleep.]
yourself.
[ laughter .]
all you got to do is eat one [ laughter .]
all you got to do is eat one fry.
all you got to do is eat one fry.
you want to save us? Fry.
you want to save us? I ain't doing it.
you want to save us? I ain't doing it.
can't you just eat it, man? I ain't doing it.
can't you just eat it, man? [ laughter .]
can't you just eat it, man? [ laughter .]
there's no way I'm eating it.
[ laughter .]
there's no way I'm eating it.
if I eat one, will you eat there's no way I'm eating it.
if I eat one, will you eat one? if I eat one, will you eat one? yeah.
One? yeah.
come on.
yeah.
come on.
We'll "lady and the tramp" it.
come on.
We'll "lady and the tramp" it.
[ laughing .]
oh, guys, you We'll "lady and the tramp" it.
[ laughing .]
oh, guys, you have to "lady and" -- [ laughing .]
oh, guys, you have to "lady and" -- man! Ha ha! Have to "lady and" -- man! Ha ha! "lady and the tramp" that fry! Man! Ha ha! "lady and the tramp" that fry! [ accordion music plays .]
"lady and the tramp" that fry! [ accordion music plays .]
oh, my god! [ accordion music plays .]
oh, my god! You're not really doing it, are oh, my god! You're not really doing it, are you?! You're not really doing it, are you?! come on.
You?! come on.
[ laughter .]
come on.
[ laughter .]
come on.
[ laughter .]
come on.
[ laughing .]
oh, my god! Come on.
[ laughing .]
oh, my god! ohh! [ laughing .]
oh, my god! ohh! [ music continues .]
ohh! [ music continues .]
[ laughter .]
[ music continues .]
[ laughter .]
oh, god! [ laughter .]
oh, god! [ music winds down .]
Oh, god! [ music winds down .]
[ laughing .]
I can't do it.
[ music winds down .]
[ laughing .]
I can't do it.
Ohh! [ laughing .]
I can't do it.
Ohh! [ laughter .]
all right.
hi, guys.
How are you? hi, guys.
How are you? You're just returning these, or How are you? You're just returning these, or are you changing sizes? You're just returning these, or are you changing sizes? smell them.
Are you changing sizes? smell them.
Make sure they're the right smell them.
Make sure they're the right ones.
Make sure they're the right ones.
you used these? Ones.
you used these? yeah.
you used these? yeah.
[ sniffing .]
yeah.
[ sniffing .]
[ sniffing .]
[ sniffing .]
do you want to try it? [ sniffs .]
Do you want to try it? [ sniffs .]
that was it.
[ sniffs .]
that was it.
[ laughs .]
That was it.
[ laughs .]
[ sniffing .]
[ laughs .]
[ sniffing .]
these aren't ours.
[ sniffing .]
these aren't ours.
Are you sure you got them from These aren't ours.
Are you sure you got them from us? Are you sure you got them from us? guys, start looking around, Us? guys, start looking around, being confused, like, "where guys, start looking around, being confused, like, "where could these come from?" Being confused, like, "where could these come from?" where -- where did they -- Could these come from?" where -- where did they -- [ sniffs .]
where -- where did they -- [ sniffs .]
did they get them from here? [ sniffs .]
did they get them from here? no, no, no.
Did they get them from here? no, no, no.
They wouldn't have gotten them no, no, no.
They wouldn't have gotten them from here, bud.
They wouldn't have gotten them from here, bud.
[ laughs .]
From here, bud.
[ laughs .]
I don't even know where they [ laughs .]
I don't even know where they would have been from.
I don't even know where they would have been from.
[ sniffing .]
Would have been from.
[ sniffing .]
no, they're not from here.
[ sniffing .]
no, they're not from here.
[ laughs .]
no, they're not from here.
[ laughs .]
you got it, right? [ laughs .]
you got it, right? It's not from here.
you got it, right? It's not from here.
[ laughs .]
It's not from here.
[ laughs .]
yeah, these are us.
[ laughs .]
yeah, these are us.
no, these are us.
yeah, these are us.
no, these are us.
These are us.
You're right.
no, these are us.
These are us.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
These are us.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry.
[ laughter .]
how are you, sir? [ laughter .]
how are you, sir? keep telling someone under how are you, sir? keep telling someone under the counter to keep quiet.
keep telling someone under the counter to keep quiet.
[ laughs .]
The counter to keep quiet.
[ laughs .]
um, yeah.
[ laughs .]
um, yeah.
Let me just grab the other one um, yeah.
Let me just grab the other one from you, and I'll grab Let me just grab the other one from you, and I'll grab another pair.
From you, and I'll grab another pair.
yes.
Sure.
Another pair.
yes.
Sure.
shh.
Shh! yes.
Sure.
shh.
Shh! [ laughter .]
shh.
Shh! [ laughter .]
this one seems to be fine.
[ laughter .]
this one seems to be fine.
This one's still jacked up.
This one seems to be fine.
This one's still jacked up.
Let me get you another pair.
This one's still jacked up.
Let me get you another pair.
hey! This guy's really Let me get you another pair.
hey! This guy's really getting out of line.
hey! This guy's really getting out of line.
serve this guy up a beating! Getting out of line.
serve this guy up a beating! keep it down! serve this guy up a beating! keep it down! No dessert! keep it down! No dessert! [ laughter .]
No dessert! [ laughter .]
keep it down! [ laughter .]
keep it down! Get back in there! Keep it down! Get back in there! q, just drop an elbow.
Get back in there! q, just drop an elbow.
[ laughs .]
q, just drop an elbow.
[ laughs .]
what country are you from? France? yeah.
so, you get it.
yeah.
so, you get it.
[ laughs .]
are you a good skater? Do you fall a lot? Do you fall a lot? if you're gonna fall, fall on if you're gonna fall, fall on them boobies, 'cause that's why god gave 'em to you.
Them boobies, 'cause that's why god gave 'em to you.
[ laughs .]
God gave 'em to you.
[ laughs .]
if you're gonna fall [ laughs .]
if you're gonna fall Fall on the if you're gonna fall Fall on the fall on your -- Fall on the fall on your -- fall on the -- fall on your -- fall on the -- fall on your -- fall on the -- fall on your -- fall on your -- fall on your -- fall on your -- fall on the boobs.
fall on your -- fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
[ laughter .]
fall on the boobs.
[ laughter .]
you know.
[ laughter .]
you know.
[ mumbling .]
fall on the -- you know.
[ mumbling .]
fall on the -- [ mumbling .]
fall on the [ mumbling .]
fall on the -- [ mumbling .]
fall on the boobies.
[ mumbling .]
fall on the boobies.
fall on the -- you know, and Boobies.
fall on the -- you know, and you're fine.
fall on the -- you know, and you're fine.
It just -- You're fine.
It just -- the boobs.
It just -- the boobs.
[ mumbling .]
the boobs.
the boobs.
[ mumbling .]
the boobs.
the boobs.
The boobs.
Nine? Okay.
Es do you need, guys? so, uh, how long you guys so, uh, how long you guys been dating? Been dating? Dating? Dating? Oh.
Oh, he's your father? Oh.
Oh, he's your father? Got it.
so, she's available, then? Got it.
so, she's available, then? [ laughter .]
so, she's available, then? [ laughter .]
right in front of the father! [ laughter .]
right in front of the father! you're her dad? right in front of the father! you're her dad? So you're her dad? So aaaaaaaah! So aaaaaaaah! [ laughing .]
come on, man.
aaaaaaaah! [ laughing .]
come on, man.
james wanted to know if [ laughing .]
come on, man.
james wanted to know if you're available.
james wanted to know if you're available.
the father.
The father.
You're available.
the father.
The father.
you -- not her.
the father.
The father.
you -- not her.
Are you available? you -- not her.
Are you available? [ laughter .]
Are you available? [ laughter .]
bye, guys.
Thank you.
[ laughter .]
bye, guys.
Thank you.
[ ding! .]
Bye, guys.
Thank you.
[ ding! .]
narrator: Joe and sal made a [ ding! .]
narrator: Joe and sal made a stink in the rink, so they're narrator: Joe and sal made a stink in the rink, so they're first up on the loser board.
Stink in the rink, so they're first up on the loser board.
today we are at First up on the loser board.
today we are at the palisades mall, going up to today we are at the palisades mall, going up to strangers and giving them advice The palisades mall, going up to strangers and giving them advice that only a mama should give.
Strangers and giving them advice that only a mama should give.
that's right.
That only a mama should give.
that's right.
We'll be giving an unsolicited that's right.
We'll be giving an unsolicited etiquette class right here in We'll be giving an unsolicited etiquette class right here in public.
if you can't tell a person how to behave, you lose.
don't slouch, fellas.
How to behave, you lose.
don't slouch, fellas.
you ain't my mama, man! don't slouch, fellas.
you ain't my mama, man! you're lucky.
do they still have, uh -- is it charm school? Is that what it's called? Is it charm school? Is that what it's called? Is that, like, an etiquette Is that what it's called? Is that, like, an etiquette school? Is that, like, an etiquette school? yeah.
School? yeah.
does that still exist? yeah.
does that still exist? yes.
does that still exist? yes.
people don't have etiquette yes.
people don't have etiquette anymore.
people don't have etiquette anymore.
It's time for us to teach them It's time for us to teach them some manners.
[ laughter .]
Some manners.
[ laughter .]
guys, you know where the food [ laughter .]
guys, you know where the food court's at? guys, you know where the food court's at? I think it's on -- Court's at? I think it's on -- is it 4 where we were at? I think it's on -- is it 4 where we were at? no one likes a know-it-all.
Is it 4 where we were at? no one likes a know-it-all.
4 has got the big no one likes a know-it-all.
4 has got the big restaurants.
4 has got the big restaurants.
all right.
Okay.
Restaurants.
all right.
Okay.
But nobody likes a know-it-all, all right.
Okay.
But nobody likes a know-it-all, though.
That's true, too, right? Yeah, you know about it.
[ laughter .]
What you got there -- pretzels? did you bring enough for everyone? did you bring enough for everyone? did you bring -- did you Everyone? did you bring -- did you bring enough for everybody? yeah, please.
Appreciate it.
[ laughter .]
Appreciate it.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
uh, food court -- [ laughs .]
uh, food court -- where'd you get the coffees at? uh, food court -- where'd you get the coffees at? Oh, there's two different ones.
Where'd you get the coffees at? Oh, there's two different ones.
starbucks, dunkin'.
Oh, there's two different ones.
starbucks, dunkin'.
what are you looking for starbucks, dunkin'.
what are you looking for specifically? what are you looking for specifically? eh, that's one way to talk to Specifically? eh, that's one way to talk to people, I guess.
eh, that's one way to talk to people, I guess.
well, that's one way to talk People, I guess.
well, that's one way to talk to people, I guess.
well, that's one way to talk to people, I guess.
[ chuckles .]
To people, I guess.
[ chuckles .]
I guess I'll find it myself.
[ chuckles .]
I guess I'll find it myself.
[ laughter .]
I guess I'll find it myself.
[ laughter .]
that's a way to talk to people.
[ laughter .]
that's a way to talk to people.
No, no.
It's too late now! That's a way to talk to people.
No, no.
It's too late now! You've already said your piece! No, no.
It's too late now! You've already said your piece! [ laughter .]
You've already said your piece! [ laughter .]
excuse me.
[ laughter .]
excuse me.
a little less skin, huh? Excuse me.
a little less skin, huh? I'm looking to, uh -- a little less skin, huh? I'm looking to, uh -- [ laughs .]
I'm looking to, uh -- [ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
joey crumbled! hey, how's it going, man? hey, hat off.
Hat off.
hey, hat off.
Hat off.
Take your hat off.
Take your hat off.
you got to take that hat off, you got to take that hat off, buddy.
Buddy.
why? why? you're indoors.
you're indoors.
You got to take that hat off.
You got to take that hat off.
Yeah! Just take it off! Yeah! Just take it off! There you go! See? There you go! See? this is polo.
this is polo.
it's polo, yeah, but it's it's polo, yeah, but it's off, and now you are proper.
Off, and now you are proper.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
all right, baby.
All right.
all right, baby.
All right.
You, too.
You, too.
ohh! Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh! ohh! Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh! whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Dude, what's going on? Dude, what's going on? I thought the hat was off.
I thought the hat was off.
You don't want to? You don't want to? no.
no.
aw, hats off.
aw, hats off.
Come on.
No? Come on.
No? have some respect.
have some respect.
all right.
all right.
Well, have some respect.
Well, have some respect.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
all right, q -- the lady with all right, q -- the lady with the kids.
The kids.
Hey, are these yours? Hey, are these yours? hey, are these yours? hey, are these yours? okay.
okay.
You know, keep 'em in line.
You know, keep 'em in line.
all right.
Keep 'em in line.
all right.
Keep 'em in line.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh-ho-ho! oh-ho-ho! that was so intense, I'm that was so intense, I'm hiding up here behind murray.
Hiding up here behind murray.
ohh! They were the most ohh! They were the most well-behaved kids on the planet! Well-behaved kids on the planet! [ ding! .]
[ ding! .]
ma'am, do you know if the ma'am, do you know if the indoor parking structure is this Indoor parking structure is this way or that way? Way or that way? if you take the elevator if you take the elevator downstairs, there's indoor Downstairs, there's indoor parking right down there.
Parking right down there.
oh.
oh.
whoa.
Slow down.
Slow down.
whoa.
Slow down.
Slow down.
Slow down.
Slow down.
slow down.
slow down.
Which way? Which way? so, go right to that so, go right to that elevator that elevator? Elevator that elevator? And go down.
that elevator? And go down.
just slow it down.
And go down.
just slow it down.
Slow it down.
just slow it down.
Slow it down.
just slow down.
Slow it down.
just slow down.
It's that way? just slow down.
It's that way? yep.
It's that way? yep.
yes? yep.
yes? and then go yes? and then go slow.
and then go slow.
Right to the elevator.
slow.
Right to the elevator.
slow down just a little.
Right to the elevator.
slow down just a little.
Just slow down just a little.
Just elevator.
Take it.
Just elevator.
Take it.
you're at a 10.
elevator.
Take it.
you're at a 10.
LikeI need it, like, at a 1.
you're at a 10.
LikeI need it, like, at a 1.
[ laughter .]
LikeI need it, like, at a 1.
[ laughter .]
so, you go take the [ laughter .]
so, you go take the elevator so, you go take the elevator yes.
Elevator yes.
Go downstairs yes.
Go downstairs downstairs? Go downstairs downstairs? And it's right there.
downstairs? And it's right there.
thank you.
And it's right there.
thank you.
you're welcome.
thank you.
you're welcome.
have a good day.
you're welcome.
have a good day.
[ laughs .]
have a good day.
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
excuse me, sir.
[ laughter .]
excuse me, sir.
With -- uh, yes.
Um Excuse me, sir.
With -- uh, yes.
Um dress for the job you want, With -- uh, yes.
Um dress for the job you want, buddy.
Buddy.
dress for the job you want.
dress for the job you want.
What? What? Yeah.
You know the expression? Yeah.
You know the expression? You ever heard of it? [ laughter .]
You ever heard of it? [ laughter .]
I'm trying to dress [chuckling.]
[ laughter .]
I'm trying to dress [chuckling.]
for the job I want.
I'm trying to dress [chuckling.]
for the job I want.
you should, too.
For the job I want.
you should, too.
we all should.
you should, too.
we all should.
You should, too.
we all should.
You should, too.
[ laughs .]
You should, too.
[ laughs .]
what do you think? [ laughs .]
what do you think? 'cause it looks like a -- what do you think? 'cause it looks like a -- like a ski-loft handyman.
'cause it looks like a -- like a ski-loft handyman.
'cause, if I had to guess, I Like a ski-loft handyman.
'cause, if I had to guess, I would say you're a ski-lift 'cause, if I had to guess, I would say you're a ski-lift handyman.
Would say you're a ski-lift handyman.
with warm ears.
Handyman.
with warm ears.
with very warm ears.
with warm ears.
with very warm ears.
That's the kind of a job I would with very warm ears.
That's the kind of a job I would imagine you have.
That's the kind of a job I would imagine you have.
[ laughter .]
Imagine you have.
[ laughter .]
but -- but -- but -- you know [ laughter .]
but -- but -- but -- you know Dress for the job you want.
wow! He's such a dick! [ laughter .]
He's such a dick! [ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
and there he is.
hey.
hey.
say to the guy, "tuck your say to the guy, "tuck your shirt in.
" Shirt in.
" tuck your shirt in, eh? "you, too"? "you, too"? [ laughter .]
"you, too"? [ laughter .]
excuse me, sir.
[ laughter .]
excuse me, sir.
Do you know where the parking excuse me, sir.
Do you know where the parking garage is -- the one that's Do you know where the parking garage is -- the one that's enclosed? Garage is -- the one that's enclosed? over there.
Enclosed? over there.
hey over there.
hey don't point.
hey don't point.
Don't point, bud.
don't point.
Don't point, bud.
oh, don't point.
Don't point, bud.
oh, don't point.
Don't point.
It's rude.
oh, don't point.
Don't point.
It's rude.
It's rude.
Don't point.
It's rude.
It's rude.
oh.
It's rude.
oh.
yeah.
oh.
yeah.
I mean, there's a -- yeah.
I mean, there's a -- don't point.
I mean, there's a -- don't point.
[ laughter .]
don't point.
[ laughter .]
wait.
[ laughter .]
wait.
That's a no-no.
wait.
That's a no-no.
It's a no-no to point.
That's a no-no.
It's a no-no to point.
[ laughter .]
It's a no-no to point.
[ laughter .]
now, where is it -- [ laughter .]
now, where is it -- the parking garage? Now, where is it -- the parking garage? I wouldn't point, though.
The parking garage? I wouldn't point, though.
It's rude.
I wouldn't point, though.
It's rude.
[ laughs .]
It's rude.
[ laughs .]
how can he tell you if he [ laughs .]
how can he tell you if he can't point? where? right down the stairs.
he's looking now with his right down the stairs.
he's looking now with his face.
he's looking now with his face.
where? This way? All right.
Thank you.
Thanks for not pointing.
Thank you.
Thanks for not pointing.
[ laughter .]
Thanks for not pointing.
[ laughter .]
dude, that was -- that was [ laughter .]
dude, that was -- that was tough.
Dude, that was -- that was tough.
[ ding! .]
Tough.
[ ding! .]
narrator: Joe was too polite, [ ding! .]
narrator: Joe was too polite, so he's in for a rude awakening narrator: Joe was too polite, so he's in for a rude awakening on the loser board.
So he's in for a rude awakening on the loser board.
today we're in times square On the loser board.
today we're in times square at caffebene, asking complete today we're in times square at caffebene, asking complete strangers, "hey, you want to get At caffebene, asking complete strangers, "hey, you want to get out of here?" Strangers, "hey, you want to get out of here?" why should they leave Out of here?" why should they leave with us? why should they leave with us? Well, that weird reason is gonna With us? Well, that weird reason is gonna be given to us by the other Well, that weird reason is gonna be given to us by the other guys.
if you can't get a complete stranger to agree to leave with you, you lose.
Stranger to agree to leave with you, you lose.
well, what happens if they You, you lose.
well, what happens if they leave withUs? well, what happens if they leave withUs? narrator: It's sal and joe in Leave withUs? narrator: It's sal and joe in a joker vs.
Joker challenge.
there's not even coffee in that.
That's a microphone.
That.
That's a microphone.
[ laughter .]
That's a microphone.
[ laughter .]
how's that microphone taste? How's that microphone taste? [ laughs .]
are you chewing your coffee? [ laughs .]
are you chewing your coffee? [ laughter .]
Are you chewing your coffee? [ laughter .]
you're fake-chewing coffee! [ laughter .]
you're fake-chewing coffee! just turn to him and say, You're fake-chewing coffee! just turn to him and say, "you want to get out of here?" just turn to him and say, "you want to get out of here?" you want to get out of here, "you want to get out of here?" you want to get out of here, or you want to get out of here, or Want to get out of here? Or Want to get out of here? I'm starting a new jack swing Want to get out of here? I'm starting a new jack swing study group.
I'm starting a new jack swing study group.
I'm starting a new jack swing Study group.
I'm starting a new jack swing study group.
what's new jack swing? it's like, you know, '90s r&b.
it's like, you know, '90s r&b.
oh, '90s music.
Got it.
R&b.
oh, '90s music.
Got it.
new jack swing.
oh, '90s music.
Got it.
new jack swing.
new edition, al b.
Sure, new jack swing.
new edition, al b.
Sure, levert, johnny kemp, new edition, al b.
Sure, levert, johnny kemp, bell biv devoe, color me badd.
Levert, johnny kemp, bell biv devoe, color me badd.
"we can do it till we both wake Bell biv devoe, color me badd.
"we can do it till we both wake up" -- what the hell does that "we can do it till we both wake up" -- what the hell does that mean? Up" -- what the hell does that mean? [ laughter .]
Mean? [ laughter .]
you in? [ laughter .]
you in? no.
You in? no.
all right.
no.
all right.
[ laughter .]
all right.
[ laughter .]
see you later.
[ laughter .]
see you later.
my favorite part of that is See you later.
my favorite part of that is he saw you chomp air.
my favorite part of that is he saw you chomp air.
[ buzzer .]
joe, what are you -- look how close you are! I'm almost positive this is I'm almost positive this is how jack the ripper looked.
what do you think? How jack the ripper looked.
what do you think? You, uh -- you want to get out what do you think? You, uh -- you want to get out of here? You, uh -- you want to get out of here? I got to help forehead jeff Of here? I got to help forehead jeff move a couch.
I got to help forehead jeff move a couch.
I got to help forehead jeff Move a couch.
I got to help forehead jeff move a couch.
I got to help forehead jeff move a couch.
You know forehead jeff? Move a couch.
You know forehead jeff? He's got a forehead for days.
Oh, your friend's coming? yeah.
is your friend strong? yeah.
is your friend strong? Because it's a big couch.
is your friend strong? Because it's a big couch.
ring, ring, ring, ring! Because it's a big couch.
ring, ring, ring, ring! Ring, ring! ring, ring, ring, ring! Ring, ring! Joe, answer your [laughing.]
Ring, ring! Joe, answer your [laughing.]
shoe.
Joe, answer your [laughing.]
shoe.
[ laughs .]
Shoe.
[ laughs .]
I got to take this.
[ laughs .]
I got to take this.
I'm sorry.
I got to take this.
I'm sorry.
Hello? I'm sorry.
Hello? dude! It's forehead jeff! Hello? dude! It's forehead jeff! I got a sectional over here, dude! It's forehead jeff! I got a sectional over here, microfiber! I got a sectional over here, microfiber! I can't do anything with it! Microfiber! I can't do anything with it! You told me you'd get somebody! I can't do anything with it! You told me you'd get somebody! I'm trying, forehead jeff.
You told me you'd get somebody! I'm trying, forehead jeff.
She's busy.
I'm trying, forehead jeff.
She's busy.
Her friend's coming back.
She's busy.
Her friend's coming back.
[ laughs .]
Her friend's coming back.
[ laughs .]
I love you, too.
[ laughs .]
I love you, too.
[ laughs .]
I love you, too.
[ laughs .]
she is terrified.
[ laughs .]
she is terrified.
She's like a deer right now.
She is terrified.
She's like a deer right now.
you can't help me? She's like a deer right now.
you can't help me? no.
you can't help me? no.
no? no.
no? no! no? no! then that's it.
no! then that's it.
We're all wrapped up.
then that's it.
We're all wrapped up.
[ laughter .]
We're all wrapped up.
[ laughter .]
well, you can't say he didn't [ laughter .]
well, you can't say he didn't try.
well, you can't say he didn't try.
[ exhales sharply .]
Try.
[ exhales sharply .]
[ buzzer .]
[ exhales sharply .]
[ buzzer .]
narrator: Three losses means [ buzzer .]
narrator: Three losses means joe's a shoo-in.
narrator: Three losses means joe's a shoo-in.
It's time for his punishment.
Joe's a shoo-in.
It's time for his punishment.
hey, everybody! It's time for his punishment.
hey, everybody! So, joe lost, and tonight, for hey, everybody! So, joe lost, and tonight, for his punishment, he's going So, joe lost, and tonight, for his punishment, he's going hollywood! His punishment, he's going hollywood! what you may not know is that Hollywood! what you may not know is that before "impractical jokers," joe what you may not know is that before "impractical jokers," joe was a top salesman at a baby Before "impractical jokers," joe was a top salesman at a baby store.
Was a top salesman at a baby store.
so, for your punishment, Store.
so, for your punishment, buddy, we are gonna make you so, for your punishment, buddy, we are gonna make you star in a baby commercial.
Buddy, we are gonna make you star in a baby commercial.
oh-ho-ho! Star in a baby commercial.
oh-ho-ho! Do you have a wide-angle lens to oh-ho-ho! Do you have a wide-angle lens to get it all in? Do you have a wide-angle lens to get it all in? oh, we do, actually, yeah.
Get it all in? oh, we do, actually, yeah.
what was that? What was that? oh, we do, actually, yeah.
what was that? What was that? [ mid-tempo music plays .]
what was that? What was that? [ mid-tempo music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ mid-tempo music plays .]
[ laughter .]
what's more uncomfortable -- [ laughter .]
what's more uncomfortable -- the diaper, the bib, or the what's more uncomfortable -- the diaper, the bib, or the beanie? The diaper, the bib, or the beanie? I mean, my balls are wrapped Beanie? I mean, my balls are wrapped up tight.
I mean, my balls are wrapped up tight.
[ laughter .]
Ready on set.
All right.
Here we go.
all right, joe! All right.
Here we go.
all right, joe! It's your time to shine, buddy.
all right, joe! It's your time to shine, buddy.
okay.
So, joe dressed as a It's your time to shine, buddy.
okay.
So, joe dressed as a baby would be enough of a okay.
So, joe dressed as a baby would be enough of a punishment, I think we all Baby would be enough of a punishment, I think we all agree.
Punishment, I think we all agree.
That's not the punishment, Agree.
That's not the punishment, though.
That's not the punishment, though.
[ laughing .]
he's about to Though.
[ laughing .]
he's about to wrestle the world-champion sumo [ laughing .]
he's about to wrestle the world-champion sumo wrestler Wrestle the world-champion sumo wrestler byamba! Wrestler byamba! Byamba! byamba! Byamba! [ laughter .]
Byamba! [ laughter .]
he's gonna rip joe to pieces! [ chuckles softly .]
[ laughs .]
this ain't no baby [ laughs .]
this ain't no baby commercial.
this ain't no baby commercial.
[ laughter .]
Commercial.
[ laughter .]
[ growling .]
[ laughter .]
[ growling .]
what the [bleep.]
is that? [ growling .]
what the [bleep.]
is that? joe, meetByamba, what the [bleep.]
is that? joe, meetByamba, world-champion sumo wrestler! joe, meetByamba, world-champion sumo wrestler! Yes! World-champion sumo wrestler! Yes! [ grunts .]
Yes! [ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
we've set up, like, a [ grunts .]
we've set up, like, a sumo-wrestling fight club.
we've set up, like, a sumo-wrestling fight club.
Think cheesy '80s Sumo-wrestling fight club.
Think cheesy '80s jean-claude van damme movies, Think cheesy '80s jean-claude van damme movies, like "bloodsport.
" Jean-claude van damme movies, like "bloodsport.
" we've rented a warehouse.
Like "bloodsport.
" we've rented a warehouse.
We stocked it with a bunch of We've rented a warehouse.
We stocked it with a bunch of shady-looking characters.
We stocked it with a bunch of shady-looking characters.
I'm not staying back here for Shady-looking characters.
I'm not staying back here for this.
I'm not staying back here for this.
I'm going out there.
This.
I'm going out there.
go, go, go! I'm going out there.
go, go, go! yeah! go, go, go! yeah! what do you mean, "yeah"?! yeah! what do you mean, "yeah"?! yes! what do you mean, "yeah"?! yes! what the [bleep.]
?! yes! what the [bleep.]
?! What am I supposed to -- what the [bleep.]
?! What am I supposed to -- get out of here! What am I supposed to -- get out of here! Do you see the size of him?! Get out of here! Do you see the size of him?! oh, we see the size, and look Do you see the size of him?! oh, we see the size, and look at him.
oh, we see the size, and look at him.
He's ready to go.
At him.
He's ready to go.
[ gong crashes .]
He's ready to go.
[ gong crashes .]
place your be-e-e-e-e-ts! [ gong crashes .]
place your be-e-e-e-e-ts! I hope you're bettin' on him! place your be-e-e-e-e-ts! I hope you're bettin' on him! [ mid-tempo synthesizer music I hope you're bettin' on him! [ mid-tempo synthesizer music plays .]
[ gong crashes .]
[ cheers and applause .]
come on, joe! [ cheers and applause .]
come on, joe! [ laughs .]
come on, joe! [ laughs .]
go! Go! Go! [ laughs .]
go! Go! Go! [ growls .]
go! Go! Go! [ growls .]
hakkei yoi! [ growls .]
hakkei yoi! [bleep.]
hakkei yoi! [bleep.]
get the [bleep.]
out of here! [bleep.]
get the [bleep.]
out of here! Get out of here! Get the [bleep.]
out of here! Get out of here! Get in! You go in there! Get out of here! Get in! You go in there! you go in there! You lost! Get in! You go in there! you go in there! You lost! Get in there! you go in there! You lost! Get in there! [ gong crashes .]
Get in there! [ gong crashes .]
oh, my god.
[ gong crashes .]
oh, my god.
I'm so scared for him! oh, my god.
I'm so scared for him! [ crowd shouting .]
I'm so scared for him! [ crowd shouting .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ growls .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ growls .]
[ gong crashes .]
[ growls .]
[ gong crashes .]
hakkei yoi! [ gong crashes .]
hakkei yoi! ohh! hakkei yoi! ohh! aah! ohh! aah! [ shouts indistinctly .]
aah! [ shouts indistinctly .]
[ grunts .]
[ shouts indistinctly .]
[ grunts .]
oh, my god! [ grunts .]
oh, my god! oh, my god! oh, my god! oh, my god! [ grunts .]
oh, my god! [ grunts .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ grunts .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ laughs .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ laughs .]
get in there! [ laughs .]
get in there! Again! Again! Again! get in there! Again! Again! Again! yeah, keep going.
Again! Again! Again! yeah, keep going.
again! yeah, keep going.
again! [ crowd shouting .]
again! [ crowd shouting .]
[ laughs .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ laughs .]
that's how he wants to fight? [ laughs .]
that's how he wants to fight? That's how we want to play it? that's how he wants to fight? That's how we want to play it? That's how we want to play it? That's how we want to play it? That's how we want to play it? he's getting angry! That's how we want to play it? he's getting angry! He's getting angry! he's getting angry! He's getting angry! Now my money's on joe! He's getting angry! Now my money's on joe! staten island! Now my money's on joe! staten island! staten island! staten island! staten island! We do staten island! staten island! We do staten island! [ cheers and applause .]
We do staten island! [ cheers and applause .]
[ grunts .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
ow! [ grunts .]
ow! oh, yeah! ow! oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ laughs .]
[ crowd shouting .]
oh-ho! [ crowd shouting .]
oh-ho! [bleep.]
oh-ho! [bleep.]
again! Again! Again! [bleep.]
again! Again! Again! [ laughing .]
yeah! again! Again! Again! [ laughing .]
yeah! [ crowd boos .]
[ laughing .]
yeah! [ crowd boos .]
one more time, joey.
[ crowd boos .]
one more time, joey.
all right.
one more time, joey.
all right.
[ crowd shouting .]
all right.
[ crowd shouting .]
time-out! Time-out! [ crowd shouting .]
time-out! Time-out! [ crowd booing .]
Time-out! Time-out! [ crowd booing .]
that one hurt.
[ crowd booing .]
that one hurt.
[ laughs .]
That one hurt.
[ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
oh, my god! [ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
oh, my god! He's calling you back in! [ laughing .]
oh, my god! He's calling you back in! who the [bleep.]
is that guy?! He's calling you back in! who the [bleep.]
is that guy?! [ gong crashes .]
who the [bleep.]
is that guy?! [ gong crashes .]
I'm coming! [ gong crashes .]
I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming! [ grunts .]
I'm coming! [ grunts .]
finish him! [ grunts .]
finish him! [ crowd shouting .]
finish him! [ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
ohhhh! [ cheers and applause .]
he's done.
yeah.
We got to let him go.
yeah.
We got to let him go.
he is done! throw in the towel! Throw it! Throw it! [ crowd shouting .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ laughter .]
Or [ laughter .]
narrator: And which joker [ laughter .]
narrator: And which joker will be saying "sayonara" in narrator: And which joker will be saying "sayonara" in tonight's sumo-sized punishment? Will be saying "sayonara" in tonight's sumo-sized punishment? yah! Tonight's sumo-sized punishment? yah! prepare for something yah! prepare for something amazing.
prepare for something amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? Amazing.
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
hey, mustache, what's up? [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I want my mommy! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! [ laughter .]
I will never forgive you! larry! I will never forgive you! larry! [ laughter .]
today we're teaming up at trump rink in central park, renting out ice skates.
while manning the counter, we've got to do and say that the We've got to do and say that the other guys tell us.
and, of course, if you refuse to do or say anything you're To do or say anything you're told, you lose.
Told, you lose.
they're on thin ice.
they're on thin ice.
yeah! yeah! whoa! We got burned! whoa! We got burned! horrible comedy.
horrible comedy.
[ laughing .]
horrible comedy.
[ as teenage girl .]
next weekend you want to come with me to my parents' summer Weekend you want to come with me to my parents' summer beach house? With me to my parents' summer beach house? [ as teenage girl .]
as if.
Beach house? [ as teenage girl .]
as if.
I'm punished.
[ as teenage girl .]
as if.
I'm punished.
no! I'm punished.
no! yes! no! yes! I don't want to say anything, yes! I don't want to say anything, but your mom's a "b" to the I don't want to say anything, but your mom's a "b" to the "itch.
" But your mom's a "b" to the "itch.
" [ laughter .]
"itch.
" [ laughter .]
I think I need new best I think I need new best friends.
[ laughter .]
Friends.
[ laughter .]
now help this customer.
[ laughter .]
now help this customer.
[ normal voice .]
hi.
now help this customer.
[ normal voice .]
hi.
How are you? [ normal voice .]
hi.
How are you? good.
How are you? good.
so, you got the two here, good.
so, you got the two here, right? so, you got the two here, right? yes.
Right? yes.
okay.
yes.
okay.
[ normal voice .]
how do okay.
[ normal voice .]
how do we do? [ normal voice .]
how do we do? guys, she shouldn't be We do? guys, she shouldn't be touching the desk! guys, she shouldn't be touching the desk! this is for the, uh -- Touching the desk! this is for the, uh -- whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! this is for the, uh -- whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't touch the desk! whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't touch the desk! [ laughter .]
Don't touch the desk! [ laughter .]
and she needs to step at [ laughter .]
and she needs to step at least two feet back.
and she needs to step at least two feet back.
so, this is the -- Least two feet back.
so, this is the -- you got to just step back so, this is the -- you got to just step back about a foot.
you got to just step back about a foot.
thank you so much.
About a foot.
thank you so much.
Appreciate it.
thank you so much.
Appreciate it.
just -- just -- just -- Appreciate it.
just -- just -- just -- thank you very much.
just -- just -- just -- thank you very much.
great.
Thank you very much.
great.
[ laughs .]
great.
[ laughs .]
okay.
This is -- [ laughs .]
okay.
This is -- keep her hands up.
okay.
This is -- keep her hands up.
She's got to keep her hands up.
keep her hands up.
She's got to keep her hands up.
you got to get the hands She's got to keep her hands up.
you got to get the hands up, please.
you got to get the hands up, please.
Hands up.
Up, please.
Hands up.
[ laughter .]
Hands up.
[ laughter .]
don't let her put her hands [ laughter .]
don't let her put her hands down, sal, no matter what.
don't let her put her hands down, sal, no matter what.
see you, guys.
Down, sal, no matter what.
see you, guys.
All right.
Yep.
see you, guys.
All right.
Yep.
There you go.
All right.
Yep.
There you go.
Good.
Keep 'em up all the way There you go.
Good.
Keep 'em up all the way outside.
Good.
Keep 'em up all the way outside.
Thank you.
All the way out.
Outside.
Thank you.
All the way out.
All the way out.
Thank you.
All the way out.
All the way out.
keep 'em up! All the way out.
keep 'em up! Keep them up! keep 'em up! Keep them up! Keep them up! Keep them up! Keep them up! keep 'em up! Keep them up! keep 'em up! keep them up! keep 'em up! keep them up! up! keep them up! up! up! up! up! up! up! up! keep them up! up! keep them up! u-p -- up! keep them up! u-p -- up! up, I said! Keep 'em up! u-p -- up! up, I said! Keep 'em up! both: [ as teenage girls .]
up, I said! Keep 'em up! both: [ as teenage girls .]
some people! both: [ as teenage girls .]
some people! [ laughter .]
Some people! [ laughter .]
guys, this is probably a good [ laughter .]
guys, this is probably a good time to take your lunch break.
guys, this is probably a good time to take your lunch break.
Sal, you want to go on lunch Time to take your lunch break.
Sal, you want to go on lunch break first? Sal, you want to go on lunch break first? [ normal voice .]
sure.
Break first? [ normal voice .]
sure.
down at your feet, there's [ normal voice .]
sure.
down at your feet, there's two skates.
down at your feet, there's two skates.
the ones on the floor? Two skates.
the ones on the floor? the ones on the floor.
the ones on the floor? the ones on the floor.
There you go, bud.
the ones on the floor.
There you go, bud.
You got some chicken fingers and There you go, bud.
You got some chicken fingers and fries in there.
You got some chicken fingers and fries in there.
I mean, with most sincerity, Fries in there.
I mean, with most sincerity, go [bleep.]
yourself.
I mean, with most sincerity, go [bleep.]
yourself.
[ laughter .]
Go [bleep.]
yourself.
[ laughter .]
all you got to do is eat one [ laughter .]
all you got to do is eat one fry.
all you got to do is eat one fry.
you want to save us? Fry.
you want to save us? I ain't doing it.
you want to save us? I ain't doing it.
can't you just eat it, man? I ain't doing it.
can't you just eat it, man? [ laughter .]
can't you just eat it, man? [ laughter .]
there's no way I'm eating it.
[ laughter .]
there's no way I'm eating it.
if I eat one, will you eat there's no way I'm eating it.
if I eat one, will you eat one? if I eat one, will you eat one? yeah.
One? yeah.
come on.
yeah.
come on.
We'll "lady and the tramp" it.
come on.
We'll "lady and the tramp" it.
[ laughing .]
oh, guys, you We'll "lady and the tramp" it.
[ laughing .]
oh, guys, you have to "lady and" -- [ laughing .]
oh, guys, you have to "lady and" -- man! Ha ha! Have to "lady and" -- man! Ha ha! "lady and the tramp" that fry! Man! Ha ha! "lady and the tramp" that fry! [ accordion music plays .]
"lady and the tramp" that fry! [ accordion music plays .]
oh, my god! [ accordion music plays .]
oh, my god! You're not really doing it, are oh, my god! You're not really doing it, are you?! You're not really doing it, are you?! come on.
You?! come on.
[ laughter .]
come on.
[ laughter .]
come on.
[ laughter .]
come on.
[ laughing .]
oh, my god! Come on.
[ laughing .]
oh, my god! ohh! [ laughing .]
oh, my god! ohh! [ music continues .]
ohh! [ music continues .]
[ laughter .]
[ music continues .]
[ laughter .]
oh, god! [ laughter .]
oh, god! [ music winds down .]
Oh, god! [ music winds down .]
[ laughing .]
I can't do it.
[ music winds down .]
[ laughing .]
I can't do it.
Ohh! [ laughing .]
I can't do it.
Ohh! [ laughter .]
all right.
hi, guys.
How are you? hi, guys.
How are you? You're just returning these, or How are you? You're just returning these, or are you changing sizes? You're just returning these, or are you changing sizes? smell them.
Are you changing sizes? smell them.
Make sure they're the right smell them.
Make sure they're the right ones.
Make sure they're the right ones.
you used these? Ones.
you used these? yeah.
you used these? yeah.
[ sniffing .]
yeah.
[ sniffing .]
[ sniffing .]
[ sniffing .]
do you want to try it? [ sniffs .]
Do you want to try it? [ sniffs .]
that was it.
[ sniffs .]
that was it.
[ laughs .]
That was it.
[ laughs .]
[ sniffing .]
[ laughs .]
[ sniffing .]
these aren't ours.
[ sniffing .]
these aren't ours.
Are you sure you got them from These aren't ours.
Are you sure you got them from us? Are you sure you got them from us? guys, start looking around, Us? guys, start looking around, being confused, like, "where guys, start looking around, being confused, like, "where could these come from?" Being confused, like, "where could these come from?" where -- where did they -- Could these come from?" where -- where did they -- [ sniffs .]
where -- where did they -- [ sniffs .]
did they get them from here? [ sniffs .]
did they get them from here? no, no, no.
Did they get them from here? no, no, no.
They wouldn't have gotten them no, no, no.
They wouldn't have gotten them from here, bud.
They wouldn't have gotten them from here, bud.
[ laughs .]
From here, bud.
[ laughs .]
I don't even know where they [ laughs .]
I don't even know where they would have been from.
I don't even know where they would have been from.
[ sniffing .]
Would have been from.
[ sniffing .]
no, they're not from here.
[ sniffing .]
no, they're not from here.
[ laughs .]
no, they're not from here.
[ laughs .]
you got it, right? [ laughs .]
you got it, right? It's not from here.
you got it, right? It's not from here.
[ laughs .]
It's not from here.
[ laughs .]
yeah, these are us.
[ laughs .]
yeah, these are us.
no, these are us.
yeah, these are us.
no, these are us.
These are us.
You're right.
no, these are us.
These are us.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
These are us.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
[ laughter .]
I'm sorry.
[ laughter .]
how are you, sir? [ laughter .]
how are you, sir? keep telling someone under how are you, sir? keep telling someone under the counter to keep quiet.
keep telling someone under the counter to keep quiet.
[ laughs .]
The counter to keep quiet.
[ laughs .]
um, yeah.
[ laughs .]
um, yeah.
Let me just grab the other one um, yeah.
Let me just grab the other one from you, and I'll grab Let me just grab the other one from you, and I'll grab another pair.
From you, and I'll grab another pair.
yes.
Sure.
Another pair.
yes.
Sure.
shh.
Shh! yes.
Sure.
shh.
Shh! [ laughter .]
shh.
Shh! [ laughter .]
this one seems to be fine.
[ laughter .]
this one seems to be fine.
This one's still jacked up.
This one seems to be fine.
This one's still jacked up.
Let me get you another pair.
This one's still jacked up.
Let me get you another pair.
hey! This guy's really Let me get you another pair.
hey! This guy's really getting out of line.
hey! This guy's really getting out of line.
serve this guy up a beating! Getting out of line.
serve this guy up a beating! keep it down! serve this guy up a beating! keep it down! No dessert! keep it down! No dessert! [ laughter .]
No dessert! [ laughter .]
keep it down! [ laughter .]
keep it down! Get back in there! Keep it down! Get back in there! q, just drop an elbow.
Get back in there! q, just drop an elbow.
[ laughs .]
q, just drop an elbow.
[ laughs .]
what country are you from? France? yeah.
so, you get it.
yeah.
so, you get it.
[ laughs .]
are you a good skater? Do you fall a lot? Do you fall a lot? if you're gonna fall, fall on if you're gonna fall, fall on them boobies, 'cause that's why god gave 'em to you.
Them boobies, 'cause that's why god gave 'em to you.
[ laughs .]
God gave 'em to you.
[ laughs .]
if you're gonna fall [ laughs .]
if you're gonna fall Fall on the if you're gonna fall Fall on the fall on your -- Fall on the fall on your -- fall on the -- fall on your -- fall on the -- fall on your -- fall on the -- fall on your -- fall on your -- fall on your -- fall on your -- fall on the boobs.
fall on your -- fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
fall on the boobs.
[ laughter .]
fall on the boobs.
[ laughter .]
you know.
[ laughter .]
you know.
[ mumbling .]
fall on the -- you know.
[ mumbling .]
fall on the -- [ mumbling .]
fall on the [ mumbling .]
fall on the -- [ mumbling .]
fall on the boobies.
[ mumbling .]
fall on the boobies.
fall on the -- you know, and Boobies.
fall on the -- you know, and you're fine.
fall on the -- you know, and you're fine.
It just -- You're fine.
It just -- the boobs.
It just -- the boobs.
[ mumbling .]
the boobs.
the boobs.
[ mumbling .]
the boobs.
the boobs.
The boobs.
Nine? Okay.
Es do you need, guys? so, uh, how long you guys so, uh, how long you guys been dating? Been dating? Dating? Dating? Oh.
Oh, he's your father? Oh.
Oh, he's your father? Got it.
so, she's available, then? Got it.
so, she's available, then? [ laughter .]
so, she's available, then? [ laughter .]
right in front of the father! [ laughter .]
right in front of the father! you're her dad? right in front of the father! you're her dad? So you're her dad? So aaaaaaaah! So aaaaaaaah! [ laughing .]
come on, man.
aaaaaaaah! [ laughing .]
come on, man.
james wanted to know if [ laughing .]
come on, man.
james wanted to know if you're available.
james wanted to know if you're available.
the father.
The father.
You're available.
the father.
The father.
you -- not her.
the father.
The father.
you -- not her.
Are you available? you -- not her.
Are you available? [ laughter .]
Are you available? [ laughter .]
bye, guys.
Thank you.
[ laughter .]
bye, guys.
Thank you.
[ ding! .]
Bye, guys.
Thank you.
[ ding! .]
narrator: Joe and sal made a [ ding! .]
narrator: Joe and sal made a stink in the rink, so they're narrator: Joe and sal made a stink in the rink, so they're first up on the loser board.
Stink in the rink, so they're first up on the loser board.
today we are at First up on the loser board.
today we are at the palisades mall, going up to today we are at the palisades mall, going up to strangers and giving them advice The palisades mall, going up to strangers and giving them advice that only a mama should give.
Strangers and giving them advice that only a mama should give.
that's right.
That only a mama should give.
that's right.
We'll be giving an unsolicited that's right.
We'll be giving an unsolicited etiquette class right here in We'll be giving an unsolicited etiquette class right here in public.
if you can't tell a person how to behave, you lose.
don't slouch, fellas.
How to behave, you lose.
don't slouch, fellas.
you ain't my mama, man! don't slouch, fellas.
you ain't my mama, man! you're lucky.
do they still have, uh -- is it charm school? Is that what it's called? Is it charm school? Is that what it's called? Is that, like, an etiquette Is that what it's called? Is that, like, an etiquette school? Is that, like, an etiquette school? yeah.
School? yeah.
does that still exist? yeah.
does that still exist? yes.
does that still exist? yes.
people don't have etiquette yes.
people don't have etiquette anymore.
people don't have etiquette anymore.
It's time for us to teach them It's time for us to teach them some manners.
[ laughter .]
Some manners.
[ laughter .]
guys, you know where the food [ laughter .]
guys, you know where the food court's at? guys, you know where the food court's at? I think it's on -- Court's at? I think it's on -- is it 4 where we were at? I think it's on -- is it 4 where we were at? no one likes a know-it-all.
Is it 4 where we were at? no one likes a know-it-all.
4 has got the big no one likes a know-it-all.
4 has got the big restaurants.
4 has got the big restaurants.
all right.
Okay.
Restaurants.
all right.
Okay.
But nobody likes a know-it-all, all right.
Okay.
But nobody likes a know-it-all, though.
That's true, too, right? Yeah, you know about it.
[ laughter .]
What you got there -- pretzels? did you bring enough for everyone? did you bring enough for everyone? did you bring -- did you Everyone? did you bring -- did you bring enough for everybody? yeah, please.
Appreciate it.
[ laughter .]
Appreciate it.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
[ laughter .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
oh, my god.
[ laughs .]
uh, food court -- [ laughs .]
uh, food court -- where'd you get the coffees at? uh, food court -- where'd you get the coffees at? Oh, there's two different ones.
Where'd you get the coffees at? Oh, there's two different ones.
starbucks, dunkin'.
Oh, there's two different ones.
starbucks, dunkin'.
what are you looking for starbucks, dunkin'.
what are you looking for specifically? what are you looking for specifically? eh, that's one way to talk to Specifically? eh, that's one way to talk to people, I guess.
eh, that's one way to talk to people, I guess.
well, that's one way to talk People, I guess.
well, that's one way to talk to people, I guess.
well, that's one way to talk to people, I guess.
[ chuckles .]
To people, I guess.
[ chuckles .]
I guess I'll find it myself.
[ chuckles .]
I guess I'll find it myself.
[ laughter .]
I guess I'll find it myself.
[ laughter .]
that's a way to talk to people.
[ laughter .]
that's a way to talk to people.
No, no.
It's too late now! That's a way to talk to people.
No, no.
It's too late now! You've already said your piece! No, no.
It's too late now! You've already said your piece! [ laughter .]
You've already said your piece! [ laughter .]
excuse me.
[ laughter .]
excuse me.
a little less skin, huh? Excuse me.
a little less skin, huh? I'm looking to, uh -- a little less skin, huh? I'm looking to, uh -- [ laughs .]
I'm looking to, uh -- [ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
[ laughs .]
[ buzzer .]
joey crumbled! hey, how's it going, man? hey, hat off.
Hat off.
hey, hat off.
Hat off.
Take your hat off.
Take your hat off.
you got to take that hat off, you got to take that hat off, buddy.
Buddy.
why? why? you're indoors.
you're indoors.
You got to take that hat off.
You got to take that hat off.
Yeah! Just take it off! Yeah! Just take it off! There you go! See? There you go! See? this is polo.
this is polo.
it's polo, yeah, but it's it's polo, yeah, but it's off, and now you are proper.
Off, and now you are proper.
[ laughs .]
[ laughs .]
all right, baby.
All right.
all right, baby.
All right.
You, too.
You, too.
ohh! Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh! ohh! Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh! whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Dude, what's going on? Dude, what's going on? I thought the hat was off.
I thought the hat was off.
You don't want to? You don't want to? no.
no.
aw, hats off.
aw, hats off.
Come on.
No? Come on.
No? have some respect.
have some respect.
all right.
all right.
Well, have some respect.
Well, have some respect.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
all right, q -- the lady with all right, q -- the lady with the kids.
The kids.
Hey, are these yours? Hey, are these yours? hey, are these yours? hey, are these yours? okay.
okay.
You know, keep 'em in line.
You know, keep 'em in line.
all right.
Keep 'em in line.
all right.
Keep 'em in line.
[ laughter .]
[ laughter .]
oh-ho-ho! oh-ho-ho! that was so intense, I'm that was so intense, I'm hiding up here behind murray.
Hiding up here behind murray.
ohh! They were the most ohh! They were the most well-behaved kids on the planet! Well-behaved kids on the planet! [ ding! .]
[ ding! .]
ma'am, do you know if the ma'am, do you know if the indoor parking structure is this Indoor parking structure is this way or that way? Way or that way? if you take the elevator if you take the elevator downstairs, there's indoor Downstairs, there's indoor parking right down there.
Parking right down there.
oh.
oh.
whoa.
Slow down.
Slow down.
whoa.
Slow down.
Slow down.
Slow down.
Slow down.
slow down.
slow down.
Which way? Which way? so, go right to that so, go right to that elevator that elevator? Elevator that elevator? And go down.
that elevator? And go down.
just slow it down.
And go down.
just slow it down.
Slow it down.
just slow it down.
Slow it down.
just slow down.
Slow it down.
just slow down.
It's that way? just slow down.
It's that way? yep.
It's that way? yep.
yes? yep.
yes? and then go yes? and then go slow.
and then go slow.
Right to the elevator.
slow.
Right to the elevator.
slow down just a little.
Right to the elevator.
slow down just a little.
Just slow down just a little.
Just elevator.
Take it.
Just elevator.
Take it.
you're at a 10.
elevator.
Take it.
you're at a 10.
LikeI need it, like, at a 1.
you're at a 10.
LikeI need it, like, at a 1.
[ laughter .]
LikeI need it, like, at a 1.
[ laughter .]
so, you go take the [ laughter .]
so, you go take the elevator so, you go take the elevator yes.
Elevator yes.
Go downstairs yes.
Go downstairs downstairs? Go downstairs downstairs? And it's right there.
downstairs? And it's right there.
thank you.
And it's right there.
thank you.
you're welcome.
thank you.
you're welcome.
have a good day.
you're welcome.
have a good day.
[ laughs .]
have a good day.
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
[ laughs .]
[ laughter .]
excuse me, sir.
[ laughter .]
excuse me, sir.
With -- uh, yes.
Um Excuse me, sir.
With -- uh, yes.
Um dress for the job you want, With -- uh, yes.
Um dress for the job you want, buddy.
Buddy.
dress for the job you want.
dress for the job you want.
What? What? Yeah.
You know the expression? Yeah.
You know the expression? You ever heard of it? [ laughter .]
You ever heard of it? [ laughter .]
I'm trying to dress [chuckling.]
[ laughter .]
I'm trying to dress [chuckling.]
for the job I want.
I'm trying to dress [chuckling.]
for the job I want.
you should, too.
For the job I want.
you should, too.
we all should.
you should, too.
we all should.
You should, too.
we all should.
You should, too.
[ laughs .]
You should, too.
[ laughs .]
what do you think? [ laughs .]
what do you think? 'cause it looks like a -- what do you think? 'cause it looks like a -- like a ski-loft handyman.
'cause it looks like a -- like a ski-loft handyman.
'cause, if I had to guess, I Like a ski-loft handyman.
'cause, if I had to guess, I would say you're a ski-lift 'cause, if I had to guess, I would say you're a ski-lift handyman.
Would say you're a ski-lift handyman.
with warm ears.
Handyman.
with warm ears.
with very warm ears.
with warm ears.
with very warm ears.
That's the kind of a job I would with very warm ears.
That's the kind of a job I would imagine you have.
That's the kind of a job I would imagine you have.
[ laughter .]
Imagine you have.
[ laughter .]
but -- but -- but -- you know [ laughter .]
but -- but -- but -- you know Dress for the job you want.
wow! He's such a dick! [ laughter .]
He's such a dick! [ laughter .]
[ ding! .]
and there he is.
hey.
hey.
say to the guy, "tuck your say to the guy, "tuck your shirt in.
" Shirt in.
" tuck your shirt in, eh? "you, too"? "you, too"? [ laughter .]
"you, too"? [ laughter .]
excuse me, sir.
[ laughter .]
excuse me, sir.
Do you know where the parking excuse me, sir.
Do you know where the parking garage is -- the one that's Do you know where the parking garage is -- the one that's enclosed? Garage is -- the one that's enclosed? over there.
Enclosed? over there.
hey over there.
hey don't point.
hey don't point.
Don't point, bud.
don't point.
Don't point, bud.
oh, don't point.
Don't point, bud.
oh, don't point.
Don't point.
It's rude.
oh, don't point.
Don't point.
It's rude.
It's rude.
Don't point.
It's rude.
It's rude.
oh.
It's rude.
oh.
yeah.
oh.
yeah.
I mean, there's a -- yeah.
I mean, there's a -- don't point.
I mean, there's a -- don't point.
[ laughter .]
don't point.
[ laughter .]
wait.
[ laughter .]
wait.
That's a no-no.
wait.
That's a no-no.
It's a no-no to point.
That's a no-no.
It's a no-no to point.
[ laughter .]
It's a no-no to point.
[ laughter .]
now, where is it -- [ laughter .]
now, where is it -- the parking garage? Now, where is it -- the parking garage? I wouldn't point, though.
The parking garage? I wouldn't point, though.
It's rude.
I wouldn't point, though.
It's rude.
[ laughs .]
It's rude.
[ laughs .]
how can he tell you if he [ laughs .]
how can he tell you if he can't point? where? right down the stairs.
he's looking now with his right down the stairs.
he's looking now with his face.
he's looking now with his face.
where? This way? All right.
Thank you.
Thanks for not pointing.
Thank you.
Thanks for not pointing.
[ laughter .]
Thanks for not pointing.
[ laughter .]
dude, that was -- that was [ laughter .]
dude, that was -- that was tough.
Dude, that was -- that was tough.
[ ding! .]
Tough.
[ ding! .]
narrator: Joe was too polite, [ ding! .]
narrator: Joe was too polite, so he's in for a rude awakening narrator: Joe was too polite, so he's in for a rude awakening on the loser board.
So he's in for a rude awakening on the loser board.
today we're in times square On the loser board.
today we're in times square at caffebene, asking complete today we're in times square at caffebene, asking complete strangers, "hey, you want to get At caffebene, asking complete strangers, "hey, you want to get out of here?" Strangers, "hey, you want to get out of here?" why should they leave Out of here?" why should they leave with us? why should they leave with us? Well, that weird reason is gonna With us? Well, that weird reason is gonna be given to us by the other Well, that weird reason is gonna be given to us by the other guys.
if you can't get a complete stranger to agree to leave with you, you lose.
Stranger to agree to leave with you, you lose.
well, what happens if they You, you lose.
well, what happens if they leave withUs? well, what happens if they leave withUs? narrator: It's sal and joe in Leave withUs? narrator: It's sal and joe in a joker vs.
Joker challenge.
there's not even coffee in that.
That's a microphone.
That.
That's a microphone.
[ laughter .]
That's a microphone.
[ laughter .]
how's that microphone taste? How's that microphone taste? [ laughs .]
are you chewing your coffee? [ laughs .]
are you chewing your coffee? [ laughter .]
Are you chewing your coffee? [ laughter .]
you're fake-chewing coffee! [ laughter .]
you're fake-chewing coffee! just turn to him and say, You're fake-chewing coffee! just turn to him and say, "you want to get out of here?" just turn to him and say, "you want to get out of here?" you want to get out of here, "you want to get out of here?" you want to get out of here, or you want to get out of here, or Want to get out of here? Or Want to get out of here? I'm starting a new jack swing Want to get out of here? I'm starting a new jack swing study group.
I'm starting a new jack swing study group.
I'm starting a new jack swing Study group.
I'm starting a new jack swing study group.
what's new jack swing? it's like, you know, '90s r&b.
it's like, you know, '90s r&b.
oh, '90s music.
Got it.
R&b.
oh, '90s music.
Got it.
new jack swing.
oh, '90s music.
Got it.
new jack swing.
new edition, al b.
Sure, new jack swing.
new edition, al b.
Sure, levert, johnny kemp, new edition, al b.
Sure, levert, johnny kemp, bell biv devoe, color me badd.
Levert, johnny kemp, bell biv devoe, color me badd.
"we can do it till we both wake Bell biv devoe, color me badd.
"we can do it till we both wake up" -- what the hell does that "we can do it till we both wake up" -- what the hell does that mean? Up" -- what the hell does that mean? [ laughter .]
Mean? [ laughter .]
you in? [ laughter .]
you in? no.
You in? no.
all right.
no.
all right.
[ laughter .]
all right.
[ laughter .]
see you later.
[ laughter .]
see you later.
my favorite part of that is See you later.
my favorite part of that is he saw you chomp air.
my favorite part of that is he saw you chomp air.
[ buzzer .]
joe, what are you -- look how close you are! I'm almost positive this is I'm almost positive this is how jack the ripper looked.
what do you think? How jack the ripper looked.
what do you think? You, uh -- you want to get out what do you think? You, uh -- you want to get out of here? You, uh -- you want to get out of here? I got to help forehead jeff Of here? I got to help forehead jeff move a couch.
I got to help forehead jeff move a couch.
I got to help forehead jeff Move a couch.
I got to help forehead jeff move a couch.
I got to help forehead jeff move a couch.
You know forehead jeff? Move a couch.
You know forehead jeff? He's got a forehead for days.
Oh, your friend's coming? yeah.
is your friend strong? yeah.
is your friend strong? Because it's a big couch.
is your friend strong? Because it's a big couch.
ring, ring, ring, ring! Because it's a big couch.
ring, ring, ring, ring! Ring, ring! ring, ring, ring, ring! Ring, ring! Joe, answer your [laughing.]
Ring, ring! Joe, answer your [laughing.]
shoe.
Joe, answer your [laughing.]
shoe.
[ laughs .]
Shoe.
[ laughs .]
I got to take this.
[ laughs .]
I got to take this.
I'm sorry.
I got to take this.
I'm sorry.
Hello? I'm sorry.
Hello? dude! It's forehead jeff! Hello? dude! It's forehead jeff! I got a sectional over here, dude! It's forehead jeff! I got a sectional over here, microfiber! I got a sectional over here, microfiber! I can't do anything with it! Microfiber! I can't do anything with it! You told me you'd get somebody! I can't do anything with it! You told me you'd get somebody! I'm trying, forehead jeff.
You told me you'd get somebody! I'm trying, forehead jeff.
She's busy.
I'm trying, forehead jeff.
She's busy.
Her friend's coming back.
She's busy.
Her friend's coming back.
[ laughs .]
Her friend's coming back.
[ laughs .]
I love you, too.
[ laughs .]
I love you, too.
[ laughs .]
I love you, too.
[ laughs .]
she is terrified.
[ laughs .]
she is terrified.
She's like a deer right now.
She is terrified.
She's like a deer right now.
you can't help me? She's like a deer right now.
you can't help me? no.
you can't help me? no.
no? no.
no? no! no? no! then that's it.
no! then that's it.
We're all wrapped up.
then that's it.
We're all wrapped up.
[ laughter .]
We're all wrapped up.
[ laughter .]
well, you can't say he didn't [ laughter .]
well, you can't say he didn't try.
well, you can't say he didn't try.
[ exhales sharply .]
Try.
[ exhales sharply .]
[ buzzer .]
[ exhales sharply .]
[ buzzer .]
narrator: Three losses means [ buzzer .]
narrator: Three losses means joe's a shoo-in.
narrator: Three losses means joe's a shoo-in.
It's time for his punishment.
Joe's a shoo-in.
It's time for his punishment.
hey, everybody! It's time for his punishment.
hey, everybody! So, joe lost, and tonight, for hey, everybody! So, joe lost, and tonight, for his punishment, he's going So, joe lost, and tonight, for his punishment, he's going hollywood! His punishment, he's going hollywood! what you may not know is that Hollywood! what you may not know is that before "impractical jokers," joe what you may not know is that before "impractical jokers," joe was a top salesman at a baby Before "impractical jokers," joe was a top salesman at a baby store.
Was a top salesman at a baby store.
so, for your punishment, Store.
so, for your punishment, buddy, we are gonna make you so, for your punishment, buddy, we are gonna make you star in a baby commercial.
Buddy, we are gonna make you star in a baby commercial.
oh-ho-ho! Star in a baby commercial.
oh-ho-ho! Do you have a wide-angle lens to oh-ho-ho! Do you have a wide-angle lens to get it all in? Do you have a wide-angle lens to get it all in? oh, we do, actually, yeah.
Get it all in? oh, we do, actually, yeah.
what was that? What was that? oh, we do, actually, yeah.
what was that? What was that? [ mid-tempo music plays .]
what was that? What was that? [ mid-tempo music plays .]
[ laughter .]
[ mid-tempo music plays .]
[ laughter .]
what's more uncomfortable -- [ laughter .]
what's more uncomfortable -- the diaper, the bib, or the what's more uncomfortable -- the diaper, the bib, or the beanie? The diaper, the bib, or the beanie? I mean, my balls are wrapped Beanie? I mean, my balls are wrapped up tight.
I mean, my balls are wrapped up tight.
[ laughter .]
Ready on set.
All right.
Here we go.
all right, joe! All right.
Here we go.
all right, joe! It's your time to shine, buddy.
all right, joe! It's your time to shine, buddy.
okay.
So, joe dressed as a It's your time to shine, buddy.
okay.
So, joe dressed as a baby would be enough of a okay.
So, joe dressed as a baby would be enough of a punishment, I think we all Baby would be enough of a punishment, I think we all agree.
Punishment, I think we all agree.
That's not the punishment, Agree.
That's not the punishment, though.
That's not the punishment, though.
[ laughing .]
he's about to Though.
[ laughing .]
he's about to wrestle the world-champion sumo [ laughing .]
he's about to wrestle the world-champion sumo wrestler Wrestle the world-champion sumo wrestler byamba! Wrestler byamba! Byamba! byamba! Byamba! [ laughter .]
Byamba! [ laughter .]
he's gonna rip joe to pieces! [ chuckles softly .]
[ laughs .]
this ain't no baby [ laughs .]
this ain't no baby commercial.
this ain't no baby commercial.
[ laughter .]
Commercial.
[ laughter .]
[ growling .]
[ laughter .]
[ growling .]
what the [bleep.]
is that? [ growling .]
what the [bleep.]
is that? joe, meetByamba, what the [bleep.]
is that? joe, meetByamba, world-champion sumo wrestler! joe, meetByamba, world-champion sumo wrestler! Yes! World-champion sumo wrestler! Yes! [ grunts .]
Yes! [ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
we've set up, like, a [ grunts .]
we've set up, like, a sumo-wrestling fight club.
we've set up, like, a sumo-wrestling fight club.
Think cheesy '80s Sumo-wrestling fight club.
Think cheesy '80s jean-claude van damme movies, Think cheesy '80s jean-claude van damme movies, like "bloodsport.
" Jean-claude van damme movies, like "bloodsport.
" we've rented a warehouse.
Like "bloodsport.
" we've rented a warehouse.
We stocked it with a bunch of We've rented a warehouse.
We stocked it with a bunch of shady-looking characters.
We stocked it with a bunch of shady-looking characters.
I'm not staying back here for Shady-looking characters.
I'm not staying back here for this.
I'm not staying back here for this.
I'm going out there.
This.
I'm going out there.
go, go, go! I'm going out there.
go, go, go! yeah! go, go, go! yeah! what do you mean, "yeah"?! yeah! what do you mean, "yeah"?! yes! what do you mean, "yeah"?! yes! what the [bleep.]
?! yes! what the [bleep.]
?! What am I supposed to -- what the [bleep.]
?! What am I supposed to -- get out of here! What am I supposed to -- get out of here! Do you see the size of him?! Get out of here! Do you see the size of him?! oh, we see the size, and look Do you see the size of him?! oh, we see the size, and look at him.
oh, we see the size, and look at him.
He's ready to go.
At him.
He's ready to go.
[ gong crashes .]
He's ready to go.
[ gong crashes .]
place your be-e-e-e-e-ts! [ gong crashes .]
place your be-e-e-e-e-ts! I hope you're bettin' on him! place your be-e-e-e-e-ts! I hope you're bettin' on him! [ mid-tempo synthesizer music I hope you're bettin' on him! [ mid-tempo synthesizer music plays .]
[ gong crashes .]
[ cheers and applause .]
come on, joe! [ cheers and applause .]
come on, joe! [ laughs .]
come on, joe! [ laughs .]
go! Go! Go! [ laughs .]
go! Go! Go! [ growls .]
go! Go! Go! [ growls .]
hakkei yoi! [ growls .]
hakkei yoi! [bleep.]
hakkei yoi! [bleep.]
get the [bleep.]
out of here! [bleep.]
get the [bleep.]
out of here! Get out of here! Get the [bleep.]
out of here! Get out of here! Get in! You go in there! Get out of here! Get in! You go in there! you go in there! You lost! Get in! You go in there! you go in there! You lost! Get in there! you go in there! You lost! Get in there! [ gong crashes .]
Get in there! [ gong crashes .]
oh, my god.
[ gong crashes .]
oh, my god.
I'm so scared for him! oh, my god.
I'm so scared for him! [ crowd shouting .]
I'm so scared for him! [ crowd shouting .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ growls .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ growls .]
[ gong crashes .]
[ growls .]
[ gong crashes .]
hakkei yoi! [ gong crashes .]
hakkei yoi! ohh! hakkei yoi! ohh! aah! ohh! aah! [ shouts indistinctly .]
aah! [ shouts indistinctly .]
[ grunts .]
[ shouts indistinctly .]
[ grunts .]
oh, my god! [ grunts .]
oh, my god! oh, my god! oh, my god! oh, my god! [ grunts .]
oh, my god! [ grunts .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ grunts .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ laughs .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ laughs .]
get in there! [ laughs .]
get in there! Again! Again! Again! get in there! Again! Again! Again! yeah, keep going.
Again! Again! Again! yeah, keep going.
again! yeah, keep going.
again! [ crowd shouting .]
again! [ crowd shouting .]
[ laughs .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ laughs .]
that's how he wants to fight? [ laughs .]
that's how he wants to fight? That's how we want to play it? that's how he wants to fight? That's how we want to play it? That's how we want to play it? That's how we want to play it? That's how we want to play it? he's getting angry! That's how we want to play it? he's getting angry! He's getting angry! he's getting angry! He's getting angry! Now my money's on joe! He's getting angry! Now my money's on joe! staten island! Now my money's on joe! staten island! staten island! staten island! staten island! We do staten island! staten island! We do staten island! [ cheers and applause .]
We do staten island! [ cheers and applause .]
[ grunts .]
[ cheers and applause .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ laughs .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
ow! [ grunts .]
ow! oh, yeah! ow! oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
oh, yeah! [ laughs .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ laughs .]
[ crowd shouting .]
oh-ho! [ crowd shouting .]
oh-ho! [bleep.]
oh-ho! [bleep.]
again! Again! Again! [bleep.]
again! Again! Again! [ laughing .]
yeah! again! Again! Again! [ laughing .]
yeah! [ crowd boos .]
[ laughing .]
yeah! [ crowd boos .]
one more time, joey.
[ crowd boos .]
one more time, joey.
all right.
one more time, joey.
all right.
[ crowd shouting .]
all right.
[ crowd shouting .]
time-out! Time-out! [ crowd shouting .]
time-out! Time-out! [ crowd booing .]
Time-out! Time-out! [ crowd booing .]
that one hurt.
[ crowd booing .]
that one hurt.
[ laughs .]
That one hurt.
[ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
oh, my god! [ laughs .]
[ laughing .]
oh, my god! He's calling you back in! [ laughing .]
oh, my god! He's calling you back in! who the [bleep.]
is that guy?! He's calling you back in! who the [bleep.]
is that guy?! [ gong crashes .]
who the [bleep.]
is that guy?! [ gong crashes .]
I'm coming! [ gong crashes .]
I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming! [ grunts .]
I'm coming! [ grunts .]
finish him! [ grunts .]
finish him! [ crowd shouting .]
finish him! [ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
[ grunts .]
ohhhh! [ cheers and applause .]
he's done.
yeah.
We got to let him go.
yeah.
We got to let him go.
he is done! throw in the towel! Throw it! Throw it! [ crowd shouting .]
[ crowd shouting .]
[ laughter .]