Magnum, P.I. (1980) s04e11 Episode Script
Jororo Farewell
Look, guys, he's just a kid.
He's a prince.
He's a target.
There he is.
The King says he's gonna play.
You know, it sounds like maybe you ought to be protecting him from his father, too.
[boys yelling.]
l want you to give me asylum.
Political asylum.
[woman screams.]
He's been kidnapped.
And you are, at least, partly responsible.
They're gonna kill him.
(boy) Come on, Joey, you can do it.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on, let's get it over with.
[boys cheering.]
[boy whooping.]
[boys cheering.]
(boy #1) Hey, batter, batter.
(boy #2) Hey, batter, batter.
[boys yelling.]
(boy) Come on, Danny.
Come on.
Go, Danny, go.
(boy) Where's he going? [siren wailing.]
[woman screams.]
(Ray) Danny, Danny! Danny! l'm sorry, Danny.
But you gotta learn to stop running away.
Hey, it's in my blood.
That's just it.
Your blood.
This way, Your Highness.
Back to the game.
(T.
C.
) Not like that, Benny! Like that.
Okay? Come on, you gotta keep your head in.
Don't bail out on the inside fastball or else you'll never hit it.
You try it, okay? Okay, Mr.
Calvin.
(boys) Benny! (boy) Benny.
Yeah.
(T.
C.
) Hey, all right! That's it.
That's the way.
All right, keep it going, keep it going.
Everybody's gonna come in for some batting practice, okay? [boys cheering.]
Nice hit, T.
C.
Hey.
You really took that eight-year-old kid downtown.
Oh, come on, man.
l was just trying to teach Benny how to hang in there, against the hard stuff, and.
Of course.
Bet you it felt good though, huh? You know, he would hang in there better if he had some rubber cleats instead of sneakers.
Don't have any cleats.
Folks can't afford them.
And each kid's gotta provide his own cleats and cup.
League rules.
[boys chattering.]
(boy) l got it.
l got it.
You're spying.
What are you talking about? l'm having a nice afternoon in the park watching some kids play ball with my friend.
Hey, when you're done, let's shag some flies.
You're spying.
T.
C.
You're spying for them Jororo guys.
l am not spying for those Jororo guys.
Well, then, how come their whole team is staying at Robin's Nest and you're here? The whole team is not staying at Robin's Nest.
Just the center fielder.
The prince.
The prince? The rest of the team is staying at a hotel in Waikiki.
Robin just thought it'd be better because of what almost happened to his dad a couple of years ago if the kid stayed out at the estate, and it'd be safer.
Yeah.
And convenient.
Especially since my All-Stars are playing those guys in the lnternational Goodwill Tournament next Saturday.
Hey, those guys beat Taiwan.
Well, they certainly don't need any help from me.
Besides, l haven't even met the prince yet.
Well, you will.
'Cause you're his bodyguard.
l am not his bodyguard, T.
C.
He's got his own security.
Listen, l have nothing repeat, nothing to do with the Jororo team or the prince.
Everybody, stop.
Stop, everybody.
Come here, come here.
Everybody, quit playing until he leaves.
You leave.
Out! Leave.
You really believe l'd spy? l don't want to hear it.
Turncoat! Traitor! Why don't you go on back to your rich boys, your prince, your cleats-- (Magnum) Okay.
Okay, if that's what you really want, l'll go.
l mean, if you really think l would stoop so low as to spy on my best friend's Youth League team in favor of strangers, of foreigners then l'll leave.
l just want you to know, T.
C that it's going to be a long time before l'm able to forget this.
l just thought we knew each other a little better, that's all.
Bye, guys.
(boy #1) Bye.
(boy #2) See you later.
(Magnum) I Iove basebaII.
All right! What are you guys looking at? Get back out there in the field and play ball.
[boys chattering.]
[car horn honking.]
Thomas, what is the bird's-eye view on this caper? Huh? Who's gonna win? l got a lot of big bucks on this game.
Jororo, 3-to-1 .
Whoa! l thank you and lce Pick thanks you.
Hey! Rick! Come on, l was just kidding.
l made it up.
Fool.
(Magnum) It's funny how when you get a bunch of aduIts around a kid's game it aII of a sudden is not a game anymore.
And then when you have a kid who happens to be a prince invoIved they reaIIy start pIaying for keeps.
Security guards.
Tutors.
I hoped aII this wouIdn't go to His Highness's head.
I mean, I wondered if IittIe Danny pIayed with a batting heImet or a crown.
Or if things didn't go his way wouId he just take his country and go home? (Magnum) Hey! You must be.
l mean, Your Highness.
That's lame, man.
My name's Danny.
You live here? Yeah.
Quite a place, huh? Big deal.
You could fit this dump in one corner of my backyard.
Oh.
Well, it's nice meeting you, Danny.
Good luck with your game.
Hey, wait a second.
lsn't this an Al Kaline glove? Yeah.
Well, so is mine.
Hey, that's great.
He gave it to me himself.
He did? Yeah.
Al was in Jororo last year, stopped by the palace and laid it on me.
Well, then you're a Tiger fan, huh? Twins.
You want to shag some flies? lt's getting to be a drag throwing this against the pitchback all day.
Thanks.
Maybe some other time, Danny.
Look, if you're bugged at what l said about your pad l'm sorry, okay? l guess everybody's got to make do with what they've got.
No offense, okay? Fine.
Fine, except, this isn't my pad.
My pad is out back.
l just kind of work here.
Then you're not Robin Masters? No.
l'm Thomas Magnum.
Oh.
Well, how about it? Will you shag some flies anyway? Okay, hop in.
Except, let's go out back.
l know a place where there's a lot less trees.
Thanks, Magnum.
You're all right.
Hey, listen, you sure nobody's going to miss you? You kidding? (Higgins) I'II caII the poIice immediateIy and alert them to the lad's disappearance.
Wait.
Hold it till my men search the grounds completely.
l don't want this leaking to the press prematurely.
l mean, all Jororo needs is another international incident.
Mr.
Russler, while l realize that your position as head of security for the Jororo delegation entails other peripheral considerations mine here, as head of security at Robin's Nest, does not.
l am notifying the police.
Higgins, please.
l don't want to pull rank on you.
Then don't.
You have absolutely no-- Hey, guys, guys.
Look, l'm just a baseball coach but l know Danny pretty good and l think you're both overreacting.
The kid runs away all the time and we always find him.
All the more reason a tighter rein should be kept on him.
Look, you stick to the hit and run and you, Miss Peardon to the biology and practical math.
And perhaps you, Mr.
Russler should apply yourself to current events.
Like what? (Russler) Magnum.
(Louise) Danny.
Hello, Russler.
lt's been a long time.
(Higgins) Magnum, explain yourself.
Explain what? Explain what you were doing with the prince.
Where the hell were you? Shagging flies.
Magnum, your entomological proclivities are not at issue.
Rather, your callous disregard for the safety and security of this lad is.
Higgins, we were chasing fly balls.
Baseball.
l thought you said it was all right.
l was wrong.
Okay.
Miss Peardon, will you see Danny to his room? [groans.]
Danny.
See you at practice, kid.
Maybe.
Thanks for the catch.
Sure.
Mr.
Lum, l believe the rest of your team's waiting for you at the hotel.
l'm sorry.
He didn't explain.
Okay, l'll explain.
There've been repeated threats on the prince's security during his stay here in Hawaii and l've only got two men to keep an eye on the little.
l don't need you to make my job any harder.
Like he did last time? As l recall Magnum was quite instrumental in thwarting the assassination of the lad's father.
Okay.
This time don't do me any favors.
l can take care of the situation myself.
What situation? Look, l was playing catch with the kid in a secure area.
l think you're overreacting just a bit.
l mean, after all, he is a kid.
Actually, Magnum, he's a prince.
Wrong.
He's a target.
(Magnum) RussIer may have been right.
Maybe Danny was a target but it was pretty hard to imagine someone taking potshots at a kid whose onIy crime was having a parent somebody didn't Iike.
I don't know.
Maybe if I had to Iive Iike that, maybe I'd be trying to run away, too.
Magnum, what have you done with him this time? What are you talking about? l haven't done anything with him.
l've been working on my surf ski, alone.
Great! Turn this place upside down.
Go ahead.
This time you can call the cops.
Danny Lin's gone again.
This time it's for real.
Well, l'll check the south lawn.
Wait a minute, Magnum.
You're not going to check anything.
You're gonna stay the hell out of this.
(Magnum) Despite what RussIer toId me I promised Higgins I'd heIp search the grounds for Danny.
He was kind of upset that I seemed to be taking the whoIe situation so easiIy.
But when your IittIe voice is teIIing you that just maybe everyone's overreacting to another princeIy prank, why panic? Because the punchIine can't be too far away.
[spectators cheering on TV.]
l hope that's not my last beer.
(Danny) No.
You have another half bottle left.
lt was kind of flat, though.
Kind of like this chili.
That chili was from last Tuesday.
l hope it's all right.
That's okay.
l haven't had chili in years.
Louise Peardon says it's not good for me.
She's always on my case.
[spectators cheering on TV.]
All right! What? Hrbek just doubled in two.
Twins, two.
Tigers, zippola.
What inning? First.
Well, there's still a long way to go.
Okay, Danny.
You want to tell me what you're doing here? Louise Peardon said you were a private investigator.
You figure it out.
Danny.
Did it ever occur to you, you're making a lot of people uptight? A lot of people are making me uptight.
lt's like l'm in jail or something.
l'm in Hawaii and l can't even stay at the hotel with my teammates.
l'm stuck here with my hag tutor and Dr.
FBl.
Give me a break.
What are you going to do? Turn me in for watching a ball game and having a beer? You're not supposed to drink beer.
Okay, okay.
Just checking.
And l am going to tell them where you are.
lt's only fair.
Don't talk to me about fair, Magnum.
l'm the Prince of Jororo.
Born lucky, l guess.
Danny, you can't keep running away from it.
Besides, where are you going to run to? Someplace where nobody wants to blow my head off.
What about Haight-Ashbury? You think the flower children would take me in? Flower children? Sure, the hippies.
Danny.
There aren't any hippies anymore.
There aren't? No.
l mean where do you get all this stuff? Flower children? Your slang? You don't talk like a prince.
lt all went out of style a long time ago.
Hey, when you grow up alone in a palace in Jororo with six color TV's you make do with what you get.
The Mod Squad, WeIcome Back, Kotter, Shindig.
You mean, you learned to talk like that from television reruns.
[sighs.]
Will you let me watch the rest of the game with you? Sure.
But l'm going to let them know where you are.
That won't be necessary.
Okay, Danny up to your room.
Magnum, from here on in, the prince is off limits to you.
Stay away from him.
Stay away from him! Yeah, you're the big kid.
And Miss Peardon next time, try not to fall for the dummy-in-the-bed trick.
Hey, let me know what the score was.
Yeah, sure, Danny.
(Russler) Magnum.
l'll tell you what the score is.
We just got a kidnap threat from the opposition.
They said they're going to get him, here in Hawaii.
Well, no one's going to kidnap him in my room.
Thanks.
l appreciate that.
Look, he's either safe on the estate, or he isn't.
lf he's safe in the main house, he's safe here.
lt's the game l'm worried about.
Well, then, pull him.
Daddy says no.
National honor, pride.
Oh, come on! He's a 1 2-year-old kid.
Whose security l'm paid to guarantee.
Then how come you're losing him all the time.
(Russler) Well, maybe you'd like to-- Magnum! Okay.
Okay, Russler, do your job! Whatever it is.
Magnum, really.
Look, l'm sorry, all right? Just remember that security here is my problem, too.
Now if you want to let me know what's going on, then maybe l can help.
Otherwise, you got no right to come in here and come down on me for watching a ball game with a little kid.
At least, these guys are grownups pretending they're kids.
You've got it the other way around.
(announcer) Whitaker Iines one into the gap in right center fieId.
TrammeII scores easiIy.
Here comes Herndon rounding second and now rounding third.
Here comes the reIay.
It's going to be cIose.
It's not in time! Good for the Tigers, bad for the Yankees.
Thanks a lot, Minnesota.
[knocking on door.]
Go away.
We're closed.
Mr.
Calvin, it's me, Benny.
What are you doing here? We got a practice game against that Jororo team tomorrow.
You should be at home getting your school work out.
Yeah, l know.
[sighs.]
Look, you're worried about the inside fastball, just give me a few minutes here and we'll go out back and l'll throw you some.
No, it's not the fastball.
l think l can hit anybody now, even you.
l just don't think l can play anymore.
Why? Are you sick? You got into trouble in school? No.
What? What is it you want to tell me, Benny? lf you want to watch the game, that's fine.
Just be quiet.
l got a truckload of paperwork to get out and.
l quit.
[TV announcer chattering.]
What? You quit? What do you mean you quit? You haven't missed a game or a practice in over three years.
l know, but my folks need me to help out with my brothers and sister.
l got to get an extra job after school and on weekends.
And there just isn't going to be any time for me to play on the team.
Do your folks know this? Uh-huh.
They're sorry, but the family's got to come first.
l thought you had a job at Wong's Grocery Store? l do, but l got to take on a paper route starting tomorrow.
Or we're not going to make it.
[sighs.]
You know l don't think you're going to make it unless you have a chance to be a kid.
You know when l was growing up l knew a lot of kids that had to work to help their families out.
l was lucky.
l had a coach that didn't want me to miss the best part of being a kid.
That was playing with your friends doing something that was fun and sharing it with your buddies.
Now there's gonna be plenty of time for work and responsibility and you're going to get your share of it.
Believe me.
Well, Mr.
Calvin, what am l going to do? Well first of all, you're going to have to stop looking so disgusted.
And then second, you're going to have to stay late after practice tomorrow and help me get rid of some newspapers.
You mean that, bro? Heck, yeah, bro.
We take the van, throw the kind be through in no time, like that.
Okay, guys.
[boys chattering.]
[boys chattering.]
(Magnum) I know what you're thinking.
RussIer toId me to stay away from the kid.
WeII, I was, sort of.
But I reaIIy wanted to see the practice game.
Besides, despite the tough-guy image Danny tried to project, underneath it was a IittIe kid I kind of Iiked a Iot.
And I was worried about him.
And about more than just his batting average.
[children cheering.]
(Ray) Here we go.
[all cheering.]
One! (boy) Strike one! Nice day, huh? Uh-huh.
lt's great to see those kids out there in the sun having a good time, playing their hearts out having good, clean, innocent fun.
Yeah.
lt's really very nice.
l mean, it's really refreshing.
Especially in this day and age when kids can get into all sorts of stuff that can get them into trouble.
Uh-huh.
Like gambling.
Uh-huh.
Rick, there is nobody out there over 1 2 years old and you're acting as a bookie for-- Hey, don't even say it.
You know, l really resent this, Thomas.
For your information, lce Pick and l got a gentleman's wager.
And furthermore, we both agreed that whoever wins kicks into the Oahu Orphans Home.
And one other thing this is a recipe for Veal Marsala for my mother back in Chicago.
[children cheering.]
(umpire) Strike two.
Come on, Danny, you can do it.
Come on, let's go, pitcher.
Come on! Get it.
Get it! Pick it up! [children exclaiming.]
Out! That tag was high, man.
Don't push me.
[children yelling.]
(T.
C.
) Hey.
Easy.
Hold it.
Easy.
He kicked my legs out from under me.
This dummy tagged me in the face.
l think he broke a tooth or something.
Hey.
Come on, you guys, now.
There's no call for you guys to be fighting.
This is just a practice game.
Yeah? Well, tell him to lighten up with his flying elbow.
The only thing flying was your feet.
Hey, hey! Hey, hey! All right, that's it.
Benny, you're out of the game.
And that goes for you, Danny.
(T.
C.
) Hey, only one thing.
Why don't you two shake hands first? l think you two need to go over there and sit on the grass for a while.
Together? You heard him.
Boys will be boys.
(umpire) Strike one! l remember once, back in Chicago we were playing stickball under the ''L.
'' And me and this guy, Eddie Spivak we get into it as to who was going to play on the tracks or not.
[bat cracking.]
Pretty soon this.
[boys cheering.]
(man) Go.
Go.
Go! Go! [boys applauding.]
That's it.
Jororo wins.
You think they could win like this on Saturday? Who knows, Rick? The beauty of baseball is that an infinite variety of things can happen at any given time.
Um, does that mean lce Pick could lose? Good game.
Thanks, T.
C.
Oh, hey, thanks.
Hey, maybe we'll get you Saturday.
Better not, or the King might probably cut me.
Hey, l hope not like the San Francisco Giants did to you in '7 4.
No, like Robespierre did to Louis XV in '89.
He couldn't hit a curve ball, either.
They take their Youth League pretty seriously in Jororo.
l feel more pressure in coaching these kids than l did trying to make it in the majors.
Just a game, right? Right.
Nice game, guys.
Hiya, Magnum.
Here have a drink.
Oh, thank you.
Both teams are going over to Ala Moana Park for a luau and then to the Aloha Arcade Center.
You're welcome to join us.
Thanks, l'd like to, but l gotta do some work back at the estate.
Okay.
l guess l'll see you back there later.
Okay.
Let's go, guys.
(Danny) l challenge you to a game of Rockets and Robots.
Sure, sounds great.
Hey, coach, you know he's a prince? Hey, man.
Okay, okay, l won't mention it anymore.
Appreciate it.
Just show me how you roast marshmallows at the luau.
l've never done that before.
Sure, Prince.
l mean, Danny.
Sure.
Then we'll hit the arcade.
All right.
(Russler) l don't think so, Danny.
l'm sorry, but l'm not taking any unnecessary chances.
His Highness has to go back to the estate.
(Magnum) I stiII know what you're thinking.
Since when wouId I turn down a free Iuau to do some work back at the estate? And since when wouId I be worrying about something that everybody in no uncertain terms toId me wasn't my case? AImost everybody.
Everybody, except my IittIe voice.
OnIy thing was, I couIdn't understand what it was saying.
(man) Ambush! Stay down.
[tires screeching.]
[crying.]
(Magnum) One of the nice things about Iiving in paradise is that no matter how tough or confusing things get you can aIways escape into the water.
Its warmth goes right through you cIeansing away your troubIes sometimes making you feeI just Iike a kid again.
Except in Danny's case, he was a kid.
A 12-year-oId who not onIy wasn't getting much of a shot at being a kid he aIso wasn't getting a heII of a Iot of chances of making it to 13 either.
And even if he did I wondered whether a chiIdhood spent dodging buIIets instead of fastbaIIs wouIdn't make Danny into one of those two-bit dictators who Iike to push his peopIe around just to get even.
(Danny) Magnum.
Hey, Danny, how you doing? Me? Never been better.
We gotta rap.
Beat it, Russler.
Come on, pal, we made a deal.
Mmm-hmm.
His Highness says he isn't going to play in the game tomorrow unless he gets to talk to you first.
Maybe that's not such a bad idea.
Maybe you're right.
Only l really don't have any choice in the matter, and neither does the kid.
The King says he's gonna play.
You know it sounds like maybe you ought to be protecting him from his father, too.
Yeah, right again.
Except then, who'd protect me? Talk to him, Magnum.
Please.
Okay, l'll talk to him.
But, don't expect me to try to convince him to play.
Hey, Danny, look l know stuff like what happened yesterday is kind of difficult to deal with, you know and to accept, and.
Hey, hey.
lt comes with the territory.
l mean, l already heard all that from them.
l guess they want me to get used to having dudes trying to off me.
So l don't need to hear the same jive from you, okay? Okay.
Now, l asked them to let me talk to you because you're the only person around here that makes any sense.
l think you may be the only person around here who's really my friend.
And l know you're the only person around here with an Al Kaline glove.
You gotta help me, Magnum.
Please.
What do you want me to do? l want you to give me asylum.
What? You know, political asylum.
l read about it in a magazine once.
That'd solve all my problems.
Asylum.
That's the ticket, Magnum.
Can you do it? Danny, l can't give you asylum.
Sure you can, right here at the estate.
l know it's kind of small, but.
But it's not a country.
l am not a country.
l can't give you asylum here.
l can't even get asylum here.
What are you talking about? l thought we were pals.
l thought you understood what's happening.
Danny.
l'll talk to Russler, and maybe he can talk to your dad.
And what? And what's my dad going to do? He's the one who sent me to this damn game.
Then don't play.
l got to.
They're making me.
The only chance l've got is for you to hide me out.
l can't do that.
Then l'm history, walking history.
l'll be just another chapter in one of those dumb books Louise Peardon makes me read.
''Prince Danny Lin.
Assassinated, July.
'' Forget it! l should've known better.
Thanks for nothing.
Russler.
(Benny) I sure wish I was the prince.
What? What are you talking about, Benny? l'm just thinking that if l had my own country l wouldn't have to be doing this menial labor.
Who's doing menial labor? l mean, me and you.
l'd give you special compensation.
You mean dispensation? Yeah, something like that.
You know, so you won't have to bust your butt so bad on this small-time stuff.
Hey, wait a minute.
Watch your language.
And what's wrong with my work? Well, any work? l mean work's good for you.
l thought you said l was supposed to be a kid.
Oh, yeah, sure.
But work's a part of it.
lt's just not all of it.
Not like that! You gotta get more wrist into it.
Get more zip on it.
Get those suckers right up there on the porch where the people don't have to walk outside to the sidewalk and get them.
And then they don't get all wet when the sprinklers come on.
Hey, now.
That's better.
There you go.
Now you got the hang of it.
Benny, you don't want to be somebody else, do you? Well.
Well what? Man, you've got to be happy being who you are, not who you aren't.
You gotta work at being the best possible Benny R.
Lee you can possibly be.
l mean, you'll find that most folks generally have more problems than you've ever even thought of.
l'll tell you something, Benny.
You're really lucky to be you.
All right, Benny, let her rip.
Not that way, man! l told you, you gotta get more wrist into it.
Where's the next house? On the corner.
Okay, give me one of those papers.
l'm gonna show you how l used to do it when l was a kid.
Of course, we had to do it on a bicycle but anyway.
[crashing.]
(Higgins) ''After 39 days of being surrounded and starved out ''by the hideously painted cannibals ''our major finally agreed to surrender.
''The seven of us that were left ''were taken to the encampment of their leader ''who was quite insistent that we all be cooked to a slow boil.
'' [dogs whimpering.]
Wait, lads.
Now, pay attention.
This is the meaty part.
''However, our major, Lord Tewksbury ''who also happened to be the ninth Earl of Whitney ''protested this summary simmering ''and challenged the cannibal king to a fight to the death.
''The prize being, if he won, our freedom.
''Fortunately, the king was convinced ''that a battle between two soldiers of royal blood ''would be a true test of the superiority of our respective races.
''As the punji sticks were sharpened Oh, Higgins.
''and honed to a fine point Higgins.
''the Major and the King readied themselves for the fight.
'' Higgins.
What is it, Magnum? You got a minute? l've got plenty of them.
Unfortunately, they're reserved for my memoirs, not you.
Sorry, don't let me get in the way.
This Major Tewksberg did he really fight a duel with cannibals with punji sticks? Tewksbury.
Whatever.
lt's just that they don't have punji sticks in Africa.
What did you want, Magnum? Well, l guess l wanted some advice.
l'm sorry, Magnum.
My knowledge of shagging flies goes only from the common house variety to the tsetse.
l've long since given up trying to understand what you Yanks find so fascinating about a game in which most of the time is spent inserting a digit in one's nostrils or scratching one's-- Higgins, please.
lt's good for my cold.
What's on your mind, Magnum? Danny.
Quite a brave lad.
Russler informs me that he's going to play in the game tomorrow.
Good show.
Evidently, His Highness has a renewed sense of his duty.
l don't think so.
The kid just asked for my help in getting him out of it.
l turned him down.
As well you should.
The duties and responsibilities of royalty are something that neither you nor l can alter.
Higgins, in all likelihood, some more of those crazies are gonna try and get at Danny at the ball game tomorrow.
Now, there's only so much that Russler or any 800 cops can do about it.
l mean, he shouldn't be playing.
Damn it, Higgins.
He asked for my help.
He asked me for asylum.
He wasn't even sure what it meant.
Go on, Higgins.
You got one of those stories for this one? What about Major Tewksberg? Did royal duty prevail? Actually, yes.
Unfortunately, it was the cannibal king's.
Major Tewksbury never knew what hit him.
l remember him turning to me just before the joust and saying.
[horse neighing.]
What's that? Matilda.
Sounds like a horse to me.
Actually, it is.
lt's Agatha's polo pony.
l promised l'd mind it for her while she.
[hooves clomping.]
My God, it's loose.
(T.
C.
) We're not going to find him, man.
Sure we are.
Let's go down towards Waimanelo Beach.
You know, there's only so many places on this island where a 1 2-year-old kid can ride a horse without somebody seeing him.
Yeah, and l think we flew over just about all of them.
Plus the whole town's been up half the night looking for him.
Yeah, including those bozos who tried to kidnap him.
What is that? A whole lot of favors.
Just in case.
You know, l gotta give it to the little sucker.
Bed sheets out the windows.
Sabotaging all the cars.
Yeah.
Pretty smart.
A real genius.
Well, if he had half a brain he wouldn't still be on that horse.
Uh-oh.
There he is.
Can you put it down in front of him? Yeah, l think so.
[neighs.]
Whoa.
All right, kid.
l hope you guys aren't too mad.
l mean he said it was his personal pony from the Royal Stables.
And you believed him? Sure.
He's a prince.
He got everything.
He even gave me a pair of new baseball shoes.
Which we are going to return.
How long do you think you could get away riding that horse? (Benny) But l've never been on one before.
l guess l just wanted to try.
ls Danny in big trouble? lf we don't find him, he will be.
Do you have any idea where he might have gone? Gee, l don't know.
We just traded places.
Has his father been notified? Yes.
The King has prevailed upon us to do everything in our power to find his son.
Which right now doesn't look like a whole lot.
l beg your pardon.
Every law enforcement agency on this island is looking for-- For a 1 2-year-old Oriental kid wearing jeans and t-shirt.
Come on, you guys! What are we waiting for? For a note.
Undoubtedly, we'll receive a ransom note in due time.
They'll probably request a release of political prisoners, the usual.
What're you going to do, Louise? Grade it for grammar? l don't understand how all of you can be so cavalier about Danny.
He's gone! Hold it, both of you.
The one thing we've got going for us is the fact that the opposition doesn't know where he is either.
Or that he's gone.
Unless there's a leak.
Did Danny tell you of anything special that he wanted to do when you talked to him? Like go to a ballgame? Or the beach? A movie? Think, lad.
Think.
l don't know.
One thing he did ask me if l knew where he could get $20 worth of quarters.
(Magnum) In my dad's day, it was pooI haIIs.
Me, I sometimes hung out in pinbaII arcades.
And these days, a Iot of kids Iose themseIves in computer expIosions of Iights and sounds.
But whatever your game you couId aIways count on one thing in pIaces Iike these.
You couId, in the space of a coupIe of hours, temporariIy escape and forget the probIems of the outside worId.
Hey, l don't remember nothing.
This place is full of kids that look like him.
And ask for change of twenties? Yeah, l remember him now, but you guys are too late.
He's gone.
His dad and his uncle came and got him.
What? Yeah, he was a real funny dude.
He kept yelling they were kidnapping him.
lf l had a kid that spent all his money in a place like this Thanks.
l'd bust his chops, too.
He's been kidnapped.
l know.
We just received the phone call, a list of demands.
They're gonna kill him.
They said if we don't cooperate with them they're gonna send us his ear.
Miss Peardon, we are conversant with the details.
Perhaps you'd like to go inside and lie down.
(Russler) Has the King been notified? The operator is placing the call now.
However, we've had some difficulty making the connection.
Well, maybe l can speed it up.
He and l have a lot to talk about.
And so do you, Louise.
Maybe you'll tell him about those bed sheets hanging out the window.
What are you suggesting? Why it's been so impossible for me to protect that kid.
l'm his teacher.
And a suspect.
Come on, Louise.
Thanks.
Yeah.
l understand his sentiments perfectly, Magnum.
You see, he's a man who's about to lose his job.
Perhaps the last he'll ever have in the field.
After all, going from the ClA to Jororo is hardly upward mobility.
And you are, at least, partly responsible.
Me? Me, responsible? Partly.
You see, if you hadn't encouraged the prince in his delusions, perhaps.
Perhaps what? Perhaps he would have accepted being a sitting duck in center field? Where did Ray Lum go? What? Ray Lum, the coach.
Where'd he go? He went back to the hotel.
He said he wanted to be with the team.
Magnum? Magnum, where are you going? To shag a fly.
[car engine revving.]
(Magnum) Except this one was hit over my head and the onIy hope I had was getting back on it in time.
I just wished I'd had a better jump.
For instance if I'd remembered that Ray Lum was the onIy other person who knew we were headed back to the estate the day they made the attempt on Danny or that the kidnappers had to be aIerted to the fact that Danny was gone and possibIy in a video arcade.
At any rate, it was worth the trip downtown to his hoteI to ask him about it.
But as it turned out, I didn't have to.
That's because Ray grooved me a high fat one right down the middIe.
Wait a minute! Never mind.
Thanks.
Maybe that's the reason the San Francisco Giants cut him back in '7 4.
(Magnum) I know what you're thinking.
The odds weren't great.
There very weII might be a haIf-dozen terrorists with itchy trigger fingers in that hangar.
But I had two things going for me.
One was surprise.
[plane engine hums.]
Of course, surprise wasn't going to do me a Iot of good with them taxiing straight to Jororo with Danny.
My options suddenIy got very Iimited.
If I got to the pIane in time I couId try and bring it down with the Uzi but then, I might aIso bring down Danny.
SuddenIy I knew how WiIIiam TeII must have feIt.
Operator, get me the Coast Guard.
This is an emergency.
[gasps.]
Hey, don't bother.
l'm okay.
Nice try, though.
You almost bought it there.
You! Jumped out the rear cargo door before they took off.
Danny.
Magnum.
Wait a second.
What are you going to do? Something l should've done a long time ago.
No! No! You can't do this to me! Who says! l'm a prince!
He's a prince.
He's a target.
There he is.
The King says he's gonna play.
You know, it sounds like maybe you ought to be protecting him from his father, too.
[boys yelling.]
l want you to give me asylum.
Political asylum.
[woman screams.]
He's been kidnapped.
And you are, at least, partly responsible.
They're gonna kill him.
(boy) Come on, Joey, you can do it.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on, let's get it over with.
[boys cheering.]
[boy whooping.]
[boys cheering.]
(boy #1) Hey, batter, batter.
(boy #2) Hey, batter, batter.
[boys yelling.]
(boy) Come on, Danny.
Come on.
Go, Danny, go.
(boy) Where's he going? [siren wailing.]
[woman screams.]
(Ray) Danny, Danny! Danny! l'm sorry, Danny.
But you gotta learn to stop running away.
Hey, it's in my blood.
That's just it.
Your blood.
This way, Your Highness.
Back to the game.
(T.
C.
) Not like that, Benny! Like that.
Okay? Come on, you gotta keep your head in.
Don't bail out on the inside fastball or else you'll never hit it.
You try it, okay? Okay, Mr.
Calvin.
(boys) Benny! (boy) Benny.
Yeah.
(T.
C.
) Hey, all right! That's it.
That's the way.
All right, keep it going, keep it going.
Everybody's gonna come in for some batting practice, okay? [boys cheering.]
Nice hit, T.
C.
Hey.
You really took that eight-year-old kid downtown.
Oh, come on, man.
l was just trying to teach Benny how to hang in there, against the hard stuff, and.
Of course.
Bet you it felt good though, huh? You know, he would hang in there better if he had some rubber cleats instead of sneakers.
Don't have any cleats.
Folks can't afford them.
And each kid's gotta provide his own cleats and cup.
League rules.
[boys chattering.]
(boy) l got it.
l got it.
You're spying.
What are you talking about? l'm having a nice afternoon in the park watching some kids play ball with my friend.
Hey, when you're done, let's shag some flies.
You're spying.
T.
C.
You're spying for them Jororo guys.
l am not spying for those Jororo guys.
Well, then, how come their whole team is staying at Robin's Nest and you're here? The whole team is not staying at Robin's Nest.
Just the center fielder.
The prince.
The prince? The rest of the team is staying at a hotel in Waikiki.
Robin just thought it'd be better because of what almost happened to his dad a couple of years ago if the kid stayed out at the estate, and it'd be safer.
Yeah.
And convenient.
Especially since my All-Stars are playing those guys in the lnternational Goodwill Tournament next Saturday.
Hey, those guys beat Taiwan.
Well, they certainly don't need any help from me.
Besides, l haven't even met the prince yet.
Well, you will.
'Cause you're his bodyguard.
l am not his bodyguard, T.
C.
He's got his own security.
Listen, l have nothing repeat, nothing to do with the Jororo team or the prince.
Everybody, stop.
Stop, everybody.
Come here, come here.
Everybody, quit playing until he leaves.
You leave.
Out! Leave.
You really believe l'd spy? l don't want to hear it.
Turncoat! Traitor! Why don't you go on back to your rich boys, your prince, your cleats-- (Magnum) Okay.
Okay, if that's what you really want, l'll go.
l mean, if you really think l would stoop so low as to spy on my best friend's Youth League team in favor of strangers, of foreigners then l'll leave.
l just want you to know, T.
C that it's going to be a long time before l'm able to forget this.
l just thought we knew each other a little better, that's all.
Bye, guys.
(boy #1) Bye.
(boy #2) See you later.
(Magnum) I Iove basebaII.
All right! What are you guys looking at? Get back out there in the field and play ball.
[boys chattering.]
[car horn honking.]
Thomas, what is the bird's-eye view on this caper? Huh? Who's gonna win? l got a lot of big bucks on this game.
Jororo, 3-to-1 .
Whoa! l thank you and lce Pick thanks you.
Hey! Rick! Come on, l was just kidding.
l made it up.
Fool.
(Magnum) It's funny how when you get a bunch of aduIts around a kid's game it aII of a sudden is not a game anymore.
And then when you have a kid who happens to be a prince invoIved they reaIIy start pIaying for keeps.
Security guards.
Tutors.
I hoped aII this wouIdn't go to His Highness's head.
I mean, I wondered if IittIe Danny pIayed with a batting heImet or a crown.
Or if things didn't go his way wouId he just take his country and go home? (Magnum) Hey! You must be.
l mean, Your Highness.
That's lame, man.
My name's Danny.
You live here? Yeah.
Quite a place, huh? Big deal.
You could fit this dump in one corner of my backyard.
Oh.
Well, it's nice meeting you, Danny.
Good luck with your game.
Hey, wait a second.
lsn't this an Al Kaline glove? Yeah.
Well, so is mine.
Hey, that's great.
He gave it to me himself.
He did? Yeah.
Al was in Jororo last year, stopped by the palace and laid it on me.
Well, then you're a Tiger fan, huh? Twins.
You want to shag some flies? lt's getting to be a drag throwing this against the pitchback all day.
Thanks.
Maybe some other time, Danny.
Look, if you're bugged at what l said about your pad l'm sorry, okay? l guess everybody's got to make do with what they've got.
No offense, okay? Fine.
Fine, except, this isn't my pad.
My pad is out back.
l just kind of work here.
Then you're not Robin Masters? No.
l'm Thomas Magnum.
Oh.
Well, how about it? Will you shag some flies anyway? Okay, hop in.
Except, let's go out back.
l know a place where there's a lot less trees.
Thanks, Magnum.
You're all right.
Hey, listen, you sure nobody's going to miss you? You kidding? (Higgins) I'II caII the poIice immediateIy and alert them to the lad's disappearance.
Wait.
Hold it till my men search the grounds completely.
l don't want this leaking to the press prematurely.
l mean, all Jororo needs is another international incident.
Mr.
Russler, while l realize that your position as head of security for the Jororo delegation entails other peripheral considerations mine here, as head of security at Robin's Nest, does not.
l am notifying the police.
Higgins, please.
l don't want to pull rank on you.
Then don't.
You have absolutely no-- Hey, guys, guys.
Look, l'm just a baseball coach but l know Danny pretty good and l think you're both overreacting.
The kid runs away all the time and we always find him.
All the more reason a tighter rein should be kept on him.
Look, you stick to the hit and run and you, Miss Peardon to the biology and practical math.
And perhaps you, Mr.
Russler should apply yourself to current events.
Like what? (Russler) Magnum.
(Louise) Danny.
Hello, Russler.
lt's been a long time.
(Higgins) Magnum, explain yourself.
Explain what? Explain what you were doing with the prince.
Where the hell were you? Shagging flies.
Magnum, your entomological proclivities are not at issue.
Rather, your callous disregard for the safety and security of this lad is.
Higgins, we were chasing fly balls.
Baseball.
l thought you said it was all right.
l was wrong.
Okay.
Miss Peardon, will you see Danny to his room? [groans.]
Danny.
See you at practice, kid.
Maybe.
Thanks for the catch.
Sure.
Mr.
Lum, l believe the rest of your team's waiting for you at the hotel.
l'm sorry.
He didn't explain.
Okay, l'll explain.
There've been repeated threats on the prince's security during his stay here in Hawaii and l've only got two men to keep an eye on the little.
l don't need you to make my job any harder.
Like he did last time? As l recall Magnum was quite instrumental in thwarting the assassination of the lad's father.
Okay.
This time don't do me any favors.
l can take care of the situation myself.
What situation? Look, l was playing catch with the kid in a secure area.
l think you're overreacting just a bit.
l mean, after all, he is a kid.
Actually, Magnum, he's a prince.
Wrong.
He's a target.
(Magnum) RussIer may have been right.
Maybe Danny was a target but it was pretty hard to imagine someone taking potshots at a kid whose onIy crime was having a parent somebody didn't Iike.
I don't know.
Maybe if I had to Iive Iike that, maybe I'd be trying to run away, too.
Magnum, what have you done with him this time? What are you talking about? l haven't done anything with him.
l've been working on my surf ski, alone.
Great! Turn this place upside down.
Go ahead.
This time you can call the cops.
Danny Lin's gone again.
This time it's for real.
Well, l'll check the south lawn.
Wait a minute, Magnum.
You're not going to check anything.
You're gonna stay the hell out of this.
(Magnum) Despite what RussIer toId me I promised Higgins I'd heIp search the grounds for Danny.
He was kind of upset that I seemed to be taking the whoIe situation so easiIy.
But when your IittIe voice is teIIing you that just maybe everyone's overreacting to another princeIy prank, why panic? Because the punchIine can't be too far away.
[spectators cheering on TV.]
l hope that's not my last beer.
(Danny) No.
You have another half bottle left.
lt was kind of flat, though.
Kind of like this chili.
That chili was from last Tuesday.
l hope it's all right.
That's okay.
l haven't had chili in years.
Louise Peardon says it's not good for me.
She's always on my case.
[spectators cheering on TV.]
All right! What? Hrbek just doubled in two.
Twins, two.
Tigers, zippola.
What inning? First.
Well, there's still a long way to go.
Okay, Danny.
You want to tell me what you're doing here? Louise Peardon said you were a private investigator.
You figure it out.
Danny.
Did it ever occur to you, you're making a lot of people uptight? A lot of people are making me uptight.
lt's like l'm in jail or something.
l'm in Hawaii and l can't even stay at the hotel with my teammates.
l'm stuck here with my hag tutor and Dr.
FBl.
Give me a break.
What are you going to do? Turn me in for watching a ball game and having a beer? You're not supposed to drink beer.
Okay, okay.
Just checking.
And l am going to tell them where you are.
lt's only fair.
Don't talk to me about fair, Magnum.
l'm the Prince of Jororo.
Born lucky, l guess.
Danny, you can't keep running away from it.
Besides, where are you going to run to? Someplace where nobody wants to blow my head off.
What about Haight-Ashbury? You think the flower children would take me in? Flower children? Sure, the hippies.
Danny.
There aren't any hippies anymore.
There aren't? No.
l mean where do you get all this stuff? Flower children? Your slang? You don't talk like a prince.
lt all went out of style a long time ago.
Hey, when you grow up alone in a palace in Jororo with six color TV's you make do with what you get.
The Mod Squad, WeIcome Back, Kotter, Shindig.
You mean, you learned to talk like that from television reruns.
[sighs.]
Will you let me watch the rest of the game with you? Sure.
But l'm going to let them know where you are.
That won't be necessary.
Okay, Danny up to your room.
Magnum, from here on in, the prince is off limits to you.
Stay away from him.
Stay away from him! Yeah, you're the big kid.
And Miss Peardon next time, try not to fall for the dummy-in-the-bed trick.
Hey, let me know what the score was.
Yeah, sure, Danny.
(Russler) Magnum.
l'll tell you what the score is.
We just got a kidnap threat from the opposition.
They said they're going to get him, here in Hawaii.
Well, no one's going to kidnap him in my room.
Thanks.
l appreciate that.
Look, he's either safe on the estate, or he isn't.
lf he's safe in the main house, he's safe here.
lt's the game l'm worried about.
Well, then, pull him.
Daddy says no.
National honor, pride.
Oh, come on! He's a 1 2-year-old kid.
Whose security l'm paid to guarantee.
Then how come you're losing him all the time.
(Russler) Well, maybe you'd like to-- Magnum! Okay.
Okay, Russler, do your job! Whatever it is.
Magnum, really.
Look, l'm sorry, all right? Just remember that security here is my problem, too.
Now if you want to let me know what's going on, then maybe l can help.
Otherwise, you got no right to come in here and come down on me for watching a ball game with a little kid.
At least, these guys are grownups pretending they're kids.
You've got it the other way around.
(announcer) Whitaker Iines one into the gap in right center fieId.
TrammeII scores easiIy.
Here comes Herndon rounding second and now rounding third.
Here comes the reIay.
It's going to be cIose.
It's not in time! Good for the Tigers, bad for the Yankees.
Thanks a lot, Minnesota.
[knocking on door.]
Go away.
We're closed.
Mr.
Calvin, it's me, Benny.
What are you doing here? We got a practice game against that Jororo team tomorrow.
You should be at home getting your school work out.
Yeah, l know.
[sighs.]
Look, you're worried about the inside fastball, just give me a few minutes here and we'll go out back and l'll throw you some.
No, it's not the fastball.
l think l can hit anybody now, even you.
l just don't think l can play anymore.
Why? Are you sick? You got into trouble in school? No.
What? What is it you want to tell me, Benny? lf you want to watch the game, that's fine.
Just be quiet.
l got a truckload of paperwork to get out and.
l quit.
[TV announcer chattering.]
What? You quit? What do you mean you quit? You haven't missed a game or a practice in over three years.
l know, but my folks need me to help out with my brothers and sister.
l got to get an extra job after school and on weekends.
And there just isn't going to be any time for me to play on the team.
Do your folks know this? Uh-huh.
They're sorry, but the family's got to come first.
l thought you had a job at Wong's Grocery Store? l do, but l got to take on a paper route starting tomorrow.
Or we're not going to make it.
[sighs.]
You know l don't think you're going to make it unless you have a chance to be a kid.
You know when l was growing up l knew a lot of kids that had to work to help their families out.
l was lucky.
l had a coach that didn't want me to miss the best part of being a kid.
That was playing with your friends doing something that was fun and sharing it with your buddies.
Now there's gonna be plenty of time for work and responsibility and you're going to get your share of it.
Believe me.
Well, Mr.
Calvin, what am l going to do? Well first of all, you're going to have to stop looking so disgusted.
And then second, you're going to have to stay late after practice tomorrow and help me get rid of some newspapers.
You mean that, bro? Heck, yeah, bro.
We take the van, throw the kind be through in no time, like that.
Okay, guys.
[boys chattering.]
[boys chattering.]
(Magnum) I know what you're thinking.
RussIer toId me to stay away from the kid.
WeII, I was, sort of.
But I reaIIy wanted to see the practice game.
Besides, despite the tough-guy image Danny tried to project, underneath it was a IittIe kid I kind of Iiked a Iot.
And I was worried about him.
And about more than just his batting average.
[children cheering.]
(Ray) Here we go.
[all cheering.]
One! (boy) Strike one! Nice day, huh? Uh-huh.
lt's great to see those kids out there in the sun having a good time, playing their hearts out having good, clean, innocent fun.
Yeah.
lt's really very nice.
l mean, it's really refreshing.
Especially in this day and age when kids can get into all sorts of stuff that can get them into trouble.
Uh-huh.
Like gambling.
Uh-huh.
Rick, there is nobody out there over 1 2 years old and you're acting as a bookie for-- Hey, don't even say it.
You know, l really resent this, Thomas.
For your information, lce Pick and l got a gentleman's wager.
And furthermore, we both agreed that whoever wins kicks into the Oahu Orphans Home.
And one other thing this is a recipe for Veal Marsala for my mother back in Chicago.
[children cheering.]
(umpire) Strike two.
Come on, Danny, you can do it.
Come on, let's go, pitcher.
Come on! Get it.
Get it! Pick it up! [children exclaiming.]
Out! That tag was high, man.
Don't push me.
[children yelling.]
(T.
C.
) Hey.
Easy.
Hold it.
Easy.
He kicked my legs out from under me.
This dummy tagged me in the face.
l think he broke a tooth or something.
Hey.
Come on, you guys, now.
There's no call for you guys to be fighting.
This is just a practice game.
Yeah? Well, tell him to lighten up with his flying elbow.
The only thing flying was your feet.
Hey, hey! Hey, hey! All right, that's it.
Benny, you're out of the game.
And that goes for you, Danny.
(T.
C.
) Hey, only one thing.
Why don't you two shake hands first? l think you two need to go over there and sit on the grass for a while.
Together? You heard him.
Boys will be boys.
(umpire) Strike one! l remember once, back in Chicago we were playing stickball under the ''L.
'' And me and this guy, Eddie Spivak we get into it as to who was going to play on the tracks or not.
[bat cracking.]
Pretty soon this.
[boys cheering.]
(man) Go.
Go.
Go! Go! [boys applauding.]
That's it.
Jororo wins.
You think they could win like this on Saturday? Who knows, Rick? The beauty of baseball is that an infinite variety of things can happen at any given time.
Um, does that mean lce Pick could lose? Good game.
Thanks, T.
C.
Oh, hey, thanks.
Hey, maybe we'll get you Saturday.
Better not, or the King might probably cut me.
Hey, l hope not like the San Francisco Giants did to you in '7 4.
No, like Robespierre did to Louis XV in '89.
He couldn't hit a curve ball, either.
They take their Youth League pretty seriously in Jororo.
l feel more pressure in coaching these kids than l did trying to make it in the majors.
Just a game, right? Right.
Nice game, guys.
Hiya, Magnum.
Here have a drink.
Oh, thank you.
Both teams are going over to Ala Moana Park for a luau and then to the Aloha Arcade Center.
You're welcome to join us.
Thanks, l'd like to, but l gotta do some work back at the estate.
Okay.
l guess l'll see you back there later.
Okay.
Let's go, guys.
(Danny) l challenge you to a game of Rockets and Robots.
Sure, sounds great.
Hey, coach, you know he's a prince? Hey, man.
Okay, okay, l won't mention it anymore.
Appreciate it.
Just show me how you roast marshmallows at the luau.
l've never done that before.
Sure, Prince.
l mean, Danny.
Sure.
Then we'll hit the arcade.
All right.
(Russler) l don't think so, Danny.
l'm sorry, but l'm not taking any unnecessary chances.
His Highness has to go back to the estate.
(Magnum) I stiII know what you're thinking.
Since when wouId I turn down a free Iuau to do some work back at the estate? And since when wouId I be worrying about something that everybody in no uncertain terms toId me wasn't my case? AImost everybody.
Everybody, except my IittIe voice.
OnIy thing was, I couIdn't understand what it was saying.
(man) Ambush! Stay down.
[tires screeching.]
[crying.]
(Magnum) One of the nice things about Iiving in paradise is that no matter how tough or confusing things get you can aIways escape into the water.
Its warmth goes right through you cIeansing away your troubIes sometimes making you feeI just Iike a kid again.
Except in Danny's case, he was a kid.
A 12-year-oId who not onIy wasn't getting much of a shot at being a kid he aIso wasn't getting a heII of a Iot of chances of making it to 13 either.
And even if he did I wondered whether a chiIdhood spent dodging buIIets instead of fastbaIIs wouIdn't make Danny into one of those two-bit dictators who Iike to push his peopIe around just to get even.
(Danny) Magnum.
Hey, Danny, how you doing? Me? Never been better.
We gotta rap.
Beat it, Russler.
Come on, pal, we made a deal.
Mmm-hmm.
His Highness says he isn't going to play in the game tomorrow unless he gets to talk to you first.
Maybe that's not such a bad idea.
Maybe you're right.
Only l really don't have any choice in the matter, and neither does the kid.
The King says he's gonna play.
You know it sounds like maybe you ought to be protecting him from his father, too.
Yeah, right again.
Except then, who'd protect me? Talk to him, Magnum.
Please.
Okay, l'll talk to him.
But, don't expect me to try to convince him to play.
Hey, Danny, look l know stuff like what happened yesterday is kind of difficult to deal with, you know and to accept, and.
Hey, hey.
lt comes with the territory.
l mean, l already heard all that from them.
l guess they want me to get used to having dudes trying to off me.
So l don't need to hear the same jive from you, okay? Okay.
Now, l asked them to let me talk to you because you're the only person around here that makes any sense.
l think you may be the only person around here who's really my friend.
And l know you're the only person around here with an Al Kaline glove.
You gotta help me, Magnum.
Please.
What do you want me to do? l want you to give me asylum.
What? You know, political asylum.
l read about it in a magazine once.
That'd solve all my problems.
Asylum.
That's the ticket, Magnum.
Can you do it? Danny, l can't give you asylum.
Sure you can, right here at the estate.
l know it's kind of small, but.
But it's not a country.
l am not a country.
l can't give you asylum here.
l can't even get asylum here.
What are you talking about? l thought we were pals.
l thought you understood what's happening.
Danny.
l'll talk to Russler, and maybe he can talk to your dad.
And what? And what's my dad going to do? He's the one who sent me to this damn game.
Then don't play.
l got to.
They're making me.
The only chance l've got is for you to hide me out.
l can't do that.
Then l'm history, walking history.
l'll be just another chapter in one of those dumb books Louise Peardon makes me read.
''Prince Danny Lin.
Assassinated, July.
'' Forget it! l should've known better.
Thanks for nothing.
Russler.
(Benny) I sure wish I was the prince.
What? What are you talking about, Benny? l'm just thinking that if l had my own country l wouldn't have to be doing this menial labor.
Who's doing menial labor? l mean, me and you.
l'd give you special compensation.
You mean dispensation? Yeah, something like that.
You know, so you won't have to bust your butt so bad on this small-time stuff.
Hey, wait a minute.
Watch your language.
And what's wrong with my work? Well, any work? l mean work's good for you.
l thought you said l was supposed to be a kid.
Oh, yeah, sure.
But work's a part of it.
lt's just not all of it.
Not like that! You gotta get more wrist into it.
Get more zip on it.
Get those suckers right up there on the porch where the people don't have to walk outside to the sidewalk and get them.
And then they don't get all wet when the sprinklers come on.
Hey, now.
That's better.
There you go.
Now you got the hang of it.
Benny, you don't want to be somebody else, do you? Well.
Well what? Man, you've got to be happy being who you are, not who you aren't.
You gotta work at being the best possible Benny R.
Lee you can possibly be.
l mean, you'll find that most folks generally have more problems than you've ever even thought of.
l'll tell you something, Benny.
You're really lucky to be you.
All right, Benny, let her rip.
Not that way, man! l told you, you gotta get more wrist into it.
Where's the next house? On the corner.
Okay, give me one of those papers.
l'm gonna show you how l used to do it when l was a kid.
Of course, we had to do it on a bicycle but anyway.
[crashing.]
(Higgins) ''After 39 days of being surrounded and starved out ''by the hideously painted cannibals ''our major finally agreed to surrender.
''The seven of us that were left ''were taken to the encampment of their leader ''who was quite insistent that we all be cooked to a slow boil.
'' [dogs whimpering.]
Wait, lads.
Now, pay attention.
This is the meaty part.
''However, our major, Lord Tewksbury ''who also happened to be the ninth Earl of Whitney ''protested this summary simmering ''and challenged the cannibal king to a fight to the death.
''The prize being, if he won, our freedom.
''Fortunately, the king was convinced ''that a battle between two soldiers of royal blood ''would be a true test of the superiority of our respective races.
''As the punji sticks were sharpened Oh, Higgins.
''and honed to a fine point Higgins.
''the Major and the King readied themselves for the fight.
'' Higgins.
What is it, Magnum? You got a minute? l've got plenty of them.
Unfortunately, they're reserved for my memoirs, not you.
Sorry, don't let me get in the way.
This Major Tewksberg did he really fight a duel with cannibals with punji sticks? Tewksbury.
Whatever.
lt's just that they don't have punji sticks in Africa.
What did you want, Magnum? Well, l guess l wanted some advice.
l'm sorry, Magnum.
My knowledge of shagging flies goes only from the common house variety to the tsetse.
l've long since given up trying to understand what you Yanks find so fascinating about a game in which most of the time is spent inserting a digit in one's nostrils or scratching one's-- Higgins, please.
lt's good for my cold.
What's on your mind, Magnum? Danny.
Quite a brave lad.
Russler informs me that he's going to play in the game tomorrow.
Good show.
Evidently, His Highness has a renewed sense of his duty.
l don't think so.
The kid just asked for my help in getting him out of it.
l turned him down.
As well you should.
The duties and responsibilities of royalty are something that neither you nor l can alter.
Higgins, in all likelihood, some more of those crazies are gonna try and get at Danny at the ball game tomorrow.
Now, there's only so much that Russler or any 800 cops can do about it.
l mean, he shouldn't be playing.
Damn it, Higgins.
He asked for my help.
He asked me for asylum.
He wasn't even sure what it meant.
Go on, Higgins.
You got one of those stories for this one? What about Major Tewksberg? Did royal duty prevail? Actually, yes.
Unfortunately, it was the cannibal king's.
Major Tewksbury never knew what hit him.
l remember him turning to me just before the joust and saying.
[horse neighing.]
What's that? Matilda.
Sounds like a horse to me.
Actually, it is.
lt's Agatha's polo pony.
l promised l'd mind it for her while she.
[hooves clomping.]
My God, it's loose.
(T.
C.
) We're not going to find him, man.
Sure we are.
Let's go down towards Waimanelo Beach.
You know, there's only so many places on this island where a 1 2-year-old kid can ride a horse without somebody seeing him.
Yeah, and l think we flew over just about all of them.
Plus the whole town's been up half the night looking for him.
Yeah, including those bozos who tried to kidnap him.
What is that? A whole lot of favors.
Just in case.
You know, l gotta give it to the little sucker.
Bed sheets out the windows.
Sabotaging all the cars.
Yeah.
Pretty smart.
A real genius.
Well, if he had half a brain he wouldn't still be on that horse.
Uh-oh.
There he is.
Can you put it down in front of him? Yeah, l think so.
[neighs.]
Whoa.
All right, kid.
l hope you guys aren't too mad.
l mean he said it was his personal pony from the Royal Stables.
And you believed him? Sure.
He's a prince.
He got everything.
He even gave me a pair of new baseball shoes.
Which we are going to return.
How long do you think you could get away riding that horse? (Benny) But l've never been on one before.
l guess l just wanted to try.
ls Danny in big trouble? lf we don't find him, he will be.
Do you have any idea where he might have gone? Gee, l don't know.
We just traded places.
Has his father been notified? Yes.
The King has prevailed upon us to do everything in our power to find his son.
Which right now doesn't look like a whole lot.
l beg your pardon.
Every law enforcement agency on this island is looking for-- For a 1 2-year-old Oriental kid wearing jeans and t-shirt.
Come on, you guys! What are we waiting for? For a note.
Undoubtedly, we'll receive a ransom note in due time.
They'll probably request a release of political prisoners, the usual.
What're you going to do, Louise? Grade it for grammar? l don't understand how all of you can be so cavalier about Danny.
He's gone! Hold it, both of you.
The one thing we've got going for us is the fact that the opposition doesn't know where he is either.
Or that he's gone.
Unless there's a leak.
Did Danny tell you of anything special that he wanted to do when you talked to him? Like go to a ballgame? Or the beach? A movie? Think, lad.
Think.
l don't know.
One thing he did ask me if l knew where he could get $20 worth of quarters.
(Magnum) In my dad's day, it was pooI haIIs.
Me, I sometimes hung out in pinbaII arcades.
And these days, a Iot of kids Iose themseIves in computer expIosions of Iights and sounds.
But whatever your game you couId aIways count on one thing in pIaces Iike these.
You couId, in the space of a coupIe of hours, temporariIy escape and forget the probIems of the outside worId.
Hey, l don't remember nothing.
This place is full of kids that look like him.
And ask for change of twenties? Yeah, l remember him now, but you guys are too late.
He's gone.
His dad and his uncle came and got him.
What? Yeah, he was a real funny dude.
He kept yelling they were kidnapping him.
lf l had a kid that spent all his money in a place like this Thanks.
l'd bust his chops, too.
He's been kidnapped.
l know.
We just received the phone call, a list of demands.
They're gonna kill him.
They said if we don't cooperate with them they're gonna send us his ear.
Miss Peardon, we are conversant with the details.
Perhaps you'd like to go inside and lie down.
(Russler) Has the King been notified? The operator is placing the call now.
However, we've had some difficulty making the connection.
Well, maybe l can speed it up.
He and l have a lot to talk about.
And so do you, Louise.
Maybe you'll tell him about those bed sheets hanging out the window.
What are you suggesting? Why it's been so impossible for me to protect that kid.
l'm his teacher.
And a suspect.
Come on, Louise.
Thanks.
Yeah.
l understand his sentiments perfectly, Magnum.
You see, he's a man who's about to lose his job.
Perhaps the last he'll ever have in the field.
After all, going from the ClA to Jororo is hardly upward mobility.
And you are, at least, partly responsible.
Me? Me, responsible? Partly.
You see, if you hadn't encouraged the prince in his delusions, perhaps.
Perhaps what? Perhaps he would have accepted being a sitting duck in center field? Where did Ray Lum go? What? Ray Lum, the coach.
Where'd he go? He went back to the hotel.
He said he wanted to be with the team.
Magnum? Magnum, where are you going? To shag a fly.
[car engine revving.]
(Magnum) Except this one was hit over my head and the onIy hope I had was getting back on it in time.
I just wished I'd had a better jump.
For instance if I'd remembered that Ray Lum was the onIy other person who knew we were headed back to the estate the day they made the attempt on Danny or that the kidnappers had to be aIerted to the fact that Danny was gone and possibIy in a video arcade.
At any rate, it was worth the trip downtown to his hoteI to ask him about it.
But as it turned out, I didn't have to.
That's because Ray grooved me a high fat one right down the middIe.
Wait a minute! Never mind.
Thanks.
Maybe that's the reason the San Francisco Giants cut him back in '7 4.
(Magnum) I know what you're thinking.
The odds weren't great.
There very weII might be a haIf-dozen terrorists with itchy trigger fingers in that hangar.
But I had two things going for me.
One was surprise.
[plane engine hums.]
Of course, surprise wasn't going to do me a Iot of good with them taxiing straight to Jororo with Danny.
My options suddenIy got very Iimited.
If I got to the pIane in time I couId try and bring it down with the Uzi but then, I might aIso bring down Danny.
SuddenIy I knew how WiIIiam TeII must have feIt.
Operator, get me the Coast Guard.
This is an emergency.
[gasps.]
Hey, don't bother.
l'm okay.
Nice try, though.
You almost bought it there.
You! Jumped out the rear cargo door before they took off.
Danny.
Magnum.
Wait a second.
What are you going to do? Something l should've done a long time ago.
No! No! You can't do this to me! Who says! l'm a prince!