Warehouse 13 s04e11 Episode Script

Previously on Warehouse 13 Whatever the effects of the astrolabe, I'm afraid it's caused Arthur to have some sort of psychotic break.
Stop right there! Artie, we can help you.
I am not Artie.
When Artie used the astrolabe, it turned him evil.
Who are you? You're in my way.
A vibe, I just got hit with a big one.
Leena? Oh, my God! The deadliest artifact in warehouse 8 was a strange, blue orchid that released a disease called "English sweating sickness.
" I think Artie's going to use the dagger to open the container and get the orchid.
He'll release an epidemic that potentially could wipe out half of the world's population.
I know you're still in there! I know you can hear me! Save me.
- I cast you out! - Claudia, no! Did you really think that you'd get away with it? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Well, somebody ate the last of the oatmeal scotchies in the kitchen.
And you automatically blame me.
Where's due process? Have we lost all semblance of civility? You have crumbs on your shirt, Artie.
Circumstantial.
Didn't somebody tell me they'd like to lose ten pounds by summer, and that I should lock up all the sweets? Yes, and you've done a terrible job, but don't worry.
I forgive you.
We're going in! Hold on! Lot of wind! This could get rough! He was back, I swear.
It was our Artie.
He said my name, and I saw it in his eyes for a second before She had to stab him, okay? There was no other way.
He was He was good again, and then Then he was gone.
We must deal with the release of the sickness.
Every person on the planet is now at risk.
We have a great deal of work to do.
Turning now to world news, doctors in Europe are reporting a curious outbreak.
Dozens of patients have turned up complaining of dizziness and dehydration due to excessive sweating.
It's all being chalked up to the unseasonably hot, humid weather that's gripped western Europe this past week.
Officials are asking people to stay indoors and drink plenty of water till the heat wave passes.
When we come back, why is this secretary of state taking salsa lessons? The answer might surprise you.
More after the break.
We're all infected with the sweating sickness.
Dr.
Calder is in Atlanta with the CDC.
She says we don't have very much time.
Before what? What what happens? Chills, rapid pulse, intense thirst, heart pain.
Ultimately death.
Right.
You know, it's always "Ultimately death.
" I mean, artifacts never release a plague of tickles or an epidemic of kittens.
Some do.
They end badly too.
I've been coordinating with the rest of the regents.
The virus is spreading even more rapidly than we thought.
How much time do we have? The incubation period is usually 24 hours.
We left Germany eight hours ago.
So we have 16 hours to fix what Artie did.
It wasn't Artie! Not our Artie.
How is he? Now? I mean He's still catatonic.
We were able to remove the dagger.
No internal damage, of course.
How is that even possible? Claudia knows.
II didn't know, not then.
At least, I wasn't sure.
I was just Acting on instinct, and you did very well.
Why? How does the dagger work? Tell them.
You know.
The dagger separates something evil, the orchid, from something good, the box holding it, so with Artie You separated the evil from Artie.
You brought him back.
It belonged to a jesuit priest who performed the first exorcism.
I didn't know what I was doing, I just knew I had to do it, but now we could still lose him.
We could, yes.
But you do have a plan? We have a theory.
You two, you're with me.
Come on.
Come on! Artie's mind seems to be failing.
And you can't pull him out of it? When Dr.
"V" gets here, maybe she can There isn't time.
We need to reach his subconscious and pull him back before his mind completely shuts down.
- If we don't - Artie won't come home.
So what's your theory? An artifact, right? What else? What do we know thus far? Well, we know that sweating sickness first occurred in Europe and that there were several outbreaks between 1485 and 1551.
Also we know that some of the outbreaks are said to have wiped out half the populations they hit.
And every time, the disease vanished.
Right, the orchid turns to ash and releases the plague.
Right, but when we found the orchid, it was whole, even though it had already released the disease in the 1500s, so there must be a way to reconstitute it.
An artifact that brings a flower back to life.
Nothing springs to mind.
I know.
I wish Artie was here.
But who am I kidding? Even if we saved him, I mean, the man killed Leena.
How does he come back from that? How do we? Both Leena and Arthur cared about one thing above all else, and that is keeping the world safe from harm.
We will find a solution.
Right, so I have artifacts that make flowers huge.
I've got artifacts that make them poisonous, that make them not poisonous, but not a single one that turns ashes into an orchid.
The count of St.
Germain.
Who? He was a charlatan in the 18th century.
He claimed many supernatural abilities, including the power to bring sickly plants back to bountiful, blooming health.
He performed the trick in public several times.
It sounds like the count was using an artifact.
Yes, question is what, and where is it now? Keep digging.
This belonged to Sigmund Freud.
It will allow your subconscious to interact with Artie's and hopefully, discover why he is trapped.
Yes, done.
I'm in.
You're not going in without me.
Why do you think I asked for both of you? No one seemed to take the count seriously, or what he did.
There's no references to what artifacts he might have used.
There's very little information about him.
Hey, Hey, hey.
I think this guy's got the dirt.
"Bennett Sutton, Professor at Columbia University, foremost expert on the court of Marie Antoinette.
" Yeah, and if his take is right, guess who spent a lot of time crashing on Marie's Couch.
The count of St.
Germain.
He wrote a lot about him.
It's worth a shot, right? Talk to him, find out what he knows, and You may need this.
When you're ready, join hands.
Holy metaphor.
- Artie's brain is - The Warehouse.
Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
I figured it had to be either this or a magical land made entirely of donuts.
Artie could be anywhere.
Not really.
Think about it.
If the warehouse is his brain, where would he live? His office.
His real-life nerve center.
Nice, we just have to get over there.
You need to leave.
Vanessa, good.
You're here, you will you, for once, do what you're told? Wait a minute.
That's not Vanessa.
Look at how she's dressed.
That's what she was wearing in rapid city.
This must be the version of Vanessa that lives in Artie's head, his memory of her.
I'll go check that out.
You need to leave.
It's not safe.
We need to save Artie.
Artie doesn't want you here.
I'm sorry, I'm not gonna take Claudia! This whole place is shutting down.
And so is Artie.
You see, it's too dangerous.
You should go, right now.
Professor Sutton? - Hello? - Wow.
Oh, my God.
This place looks like it's been tossed.
Maybe we're not the only ones after this Professor.
Excuse me, ma'am, was there a break-in here? No.
Professor Sutton's Office always looks this way.
Ah, kind of makes my room Look pretty good, don't it? Uh, well, we were supposed to have a meeting with him.
Do you know where he is? Company! Enjoy.
And there he is.
Whoever you are, you're hovering.
Speak, or pour me a drink and don't speak.
Professor, we have an appointment.
Uh Oh, the government agents.
Uh, it turns out my day is full.
Afraid I'll have to postpone.
Regrets.
Oh, well.
Well, you're reasonably hot.
What say you ditch the, uh, forehead here, and interrogate me? What say you just answer our questions? Mmm, sexy.
Ask me anything.
Well, I This is the man who's supposed to help us save the world.
Shh.
Don't tell the world.
It'll panic.
- Hey, hey, Professor.
- Oh! Hey, wake up! Listen, we need you to tell us everything you know about the count of St.
Germain.
That's remarkable, you could rent it out as billboard space.
Oh, really? Well, we could rent you out as a kerosene lamp.
- Okay? - Pete! We are running out of time.
Oh, there's always time for love, mon Cheri, no? No! Fine.
All right, look out.
Attaboy.
You all right? - No, um - Yeah.
I'm a little drunk.
Right, the count was a scoundrel, a grifter.
Claimed wild, supernatural abilities, but he was also entertaining, which meant a lot in the days before Reality TV.
He must have been incredibly charming to wheedle his way into Some royal courts that, trust me, would never have accepted him otherwise.
Oh, like Marie Antoinette's.
Yes, precisely.
She was a fan, for a while.
Apparently, briefly enamored of his ability to bring any dead or dying Flora back to vibrant life.
How? How did he do it? Was he ever holding some kind of a special object? Holding an object? No.
No, not according to my research.
Great, another dead end.
Although, he always did wear a rather garish ring.
Yes, now we are getting somewhere.
You're gonna throw up, aren't you? - Oh, oh, hold on, hold on.
- Pete, get him a No, no, no.
No, no, no, no! Two steps forward, one puke back.
We can't just leave Artie in here.
I mean, his brain is shutting down.
He could get stuck.
And if you stay, you could get lost in here too.
He doesn't want that.
We're just trying to help.
Let's try this.
Claudia, look.
Artie's bag of tricks.
What did I tell you? There is still some part of him that wants us to find him.
It's like in Germany, where - Whoa! - Claudia! I did warn you.
Now go! He really wants us to leave.
Wouldn't be the first time I didn't do what Artie wanted.
Find the ring.
Why? Uh, for research purposes.
Oh, well, it won't be easy.
The count's things were all buried with him in the catacombs under Paris.
All right, so we go to Paris.
She knows every language there is.
Yes, Well, your first problem is that Marie placed an impenetrable lock on the crypt.
It's, uh It's rather curious, actually.
Anyone who tried to get through wound up flayed alive, so unless you know a good locksmith Well, we really don't have problems with locks.
We got a bitchin' set of tools.
It's actually not the locks that I'm worried about.
It's the catacombs under Paris.
Yes, your second problem.
They're notoriously difficult to navigate.
Okay.
Yes, generations of naive tourists, crypt raiders, and drunken university Students got lost down there, permanently.
We don't have time to get lost.
Time is running out.
For the research that we're doing.
Pete, we have baudin's map.
- You do? - We do? Well, the place that we work for does.
Nicolas baudin, he was a French explorer.
Most people don't know that he charted the French catacombs before he left on his famous australian expedition.
No, most people don't.
We could have Mrs.
Frederic scan it and send it to us.
- She's our, uh - Boss.
I know baudin's map, but unfortunately, it's just meaningless blather without the legend.
He's right.
Why do I have a feeling that you have this legend? And I'd be willing to share, if you could convince your government friends that I don't need to pay taxes, ever, including what I owe.
How about you just give us the legend and we don't arrest you? Ooh, negotiation.
Sexy.
Technically, I don't have the legend, but I know who does, and by the way, I only fly first class when others pay.
"I only fly first class when others pay.
" Come on, Claud, this way's still open.
Damn it! Every room keeps getting blocked.
There's a way, we'll find it.
Or we could just glare at it.
I hate this.
The warehouse was supposed to do good, but instead, it just keeps killing the people I love.
Well, that's kind of a simplification.
Is it, though? You died, Leena died, and now, the whole damn world is dying.
Claud, Claud, Claud, Pete and Myka will find a cure.
- They will.
- So what? It's not gonna save Leena.
And Artie? I stabbed Artie with a dagger! Why bother if we just keep losing? Because it's not the win, it's the fight.
Evil is relentless.
It always has been.
You take one evil out, and another one pops up to replace it.
Worst Pep talk ever.
But if we stop fighting, if we give up, what does that say about us? I knew that Sykes was dangerous, but we had to stop him.
Mrs.
Frederic warned Leena to get out, but she stayed to help Artie.
And you, you knew the world needed saving, even if it cost you the only father you've ever known.
The fight, that's what matters.
Lovely, but you were asked to go.
Oh, this is not good.
Oh, it's so bad.
Since you won't go, I'll see to it that you make no further progress.
What was that you were saying about knocking out one evil and another one popping up? Good news is I was right.
This disease is not spreading.
It has spread.
Those are the words of Dr.
Vanessa Calder from the CDC in Atlanta.
The illness, which only a few hours ago was thought to be simple dehydration confined to Europe, has quickly spread to virtually every corner of the globe.
The CDC is classifying the outbreak as a worldwide pandemic, the fastest to have been declared as such in the agency's history.
We'll be covering this crisis around the clock.
Stay with us.
Wait, the legend is here? You said it was in a collection.
Somebody lives here.
People live lots of places.
Yeah, well, I'll bet you know who lives here, - and not in a good way.
- Don't wrinkle your forehead.
You look like sheet music.
Hey, Hey, hey! I have a handsome forehead, okay? Just ask my mom.
Oh, and on the plane, I swiped your nuts.
Wait, that's So who lives here? Fine, Charlotte Dupres, who, as it turns out, is a rival of mine.
Professors have rivals? Well, Charlotte is merely a collector, a well-funded fan.
I'm the expert.
Well, let's just ask Charlotte if we can come in and take a picture of the legend.
She'd never agree to it.
She's paranoid and delusional.
Great, that's what this needs.
She'd just accuse us of trying to break into her precious home.
Are we trying to break into her precious home? There's no one at her precious home.
She's out of the country.
- Where is she? - Barcelona.
She may have received a message that made her leap on the first plane.
Convenient, no? Okay, it's obvious that you have another agenda, so can we just stop playing games? Oh, excellent idea.
Let's discuss the ring and your plan to use it.
I am a history Professor.
I know what sweating sickness looks like, and I know the rumor.
"An orchid that can make the sweating sickness come and go"? Am I close to the mark? - Maybe.
- No.
I think the orchid has come back again, and you two need that ring to reconstitute it to save the world.
Bull's-eye? I'll take your Slack-Jawed silence as confirmation.
So help me break in here, stop the disease, or don't and don't.
It's your choice.
Cocoons are not as comfortable as they sound.
What'd she throw at us? That's William Hornaday's cap.
Director of the Bronx Zoo.
In 1906, he rather infamously put a human pygmy in a cage with chimpanzees to demonstrate the missing link.
Are these things getting tighter? I don't care for this They're, like, unbreakable and rather tangy.
Pulling at them makes them tighter, by the way.
The darkness is getting closer.
Claud.
Spear.
Yes, okay.
Yeah.
How are you gonna Oh, okay, Yeah.
Yeah, I think, uh, if you put a little bit more oomph Yeah, no, I know, I know.
- Your center of gravity - I'm trying to do that, Claud.
I know.
I just need a little bit of concen Would you just give me a little the center of gravity is lowest I am an ATF agent, damn it! Ah! - Oh, man.
- Ugh.
- Ugh! - I sure could've used you when I was locked up.
You got skills.
Thanks - Let's get to the office.
- Good plan.
Good plan.
Hello, miss Donovan.
Long time no see.
Oh, man, I hate Artie's brain.
Alarm system.
Yeah, you've got 15 seconds before the alarm goes off.
Okay.
Okay.
I got this.
I saw Artie do it once.
Not that I've tried, but Charlotte's birth date and license plate numbers don't work.
Bingo.
Brilliant toys.
I wish I would have met you two years ago.
So you tried to break in here before.
What exactly are you after? Ticktock, sweating sickness.
Shall we proceed? Find the legend, save the world, et cetera, et cetera.
All right, children, playtime's over.
Olly olly oxen free.
That's Macpherson? I always pictured him with a mustache.
Why does Artie even have James Macpherson in his brain? He hates Macpherson.
Arthur sees me as the embodiment of danger and evil.
And he can hear us.
But he also knows I'm very strong, and right now, he needs someone powerful to get you two out! Oh, good casting, Artie.
I'm out of ideas.
You have any? Just one, and you're not gonna like it.
Remember, you're the one who can really save Artie.
Steve, what are you doing? Stick with me, Claud! Macpherson will never catch up! So brave.
The real Macpherson would have enjoyed this very much.
Hunting human targets? No! Catching them.
Not today, James.
Aah! What's happened? Where's Claudia? She's still in there.
I hope.
Okay, let's just get the legend and get out of here.
She thinks all of this belongs to her.
Arrogant woman.
I'll check the other room.
You know, people are getting sicker, and we're stuck here with that pompous Mykes? Are you all right? Yeah.
Okay, so if I was a filthy-rich, possibly crazy hoarder who likes old counts, - where would I - Pete? Yeah? I think that there's something we may have missed.
You just couldn't stay away, could you? If I blow your heart out of your chest, you think that'll stop you? I'm gonna guess that's Charlotte.
Artie? Artie, are you in there? Artie! Artie, I'm coming in! Artie! I warned you not to come.
We were trying to save you.
We thought you were trapped.
Do I look trapped? I don't want you here.
What are you You Are you hiding? - Artie - You'll ruin everything.
What will I ruin? Did you think that you'd get away with it? Someone ate the last of the oatmeal scotchies in the kitchen.
You're not in barcelona.
There's a worldwide pandemic.
That sort of thing brings a halt to international travel.
They've just shut down the airport.
And you didn't berate them into taking you anyway? What unusual behavior for you.
Your brains all over my walls.
I've tripped the alarm.
The police are on their way.
You and your friends can explain everything to them.
We're not really his friends, per se.
The extent to which I do not care cannot be measured.
You just think you're so much smarter than everybody else, - don't you? - Well, there's actually quite a lot of evidence supporting that theory.
Uh, dude? I think I'd, you know, close the piehole while she's got the Charlotte, listen to me.
We are not stealing from you, okay? We are secret service agents.
We're on a mission You're not here to steal? Then why does the good Professor have my precious gold coins in his pocket? You know, I found these, uh, on the floor.
Sloppy, sloppy, Charlotte.
Sutton here is not really acting on our behalf.
No, my dear, Sutton only ever acts on Sutton's behalf, which is why his behalf is being carted off to jail.
You're not going to turn me over to them.
- It's done.
- Hey, Mykes, I did it.
I found the kill switch for the alarm.
There's no kill switch here.
Bravo! - You two are quite good! - Oh, thank you.
Why'd you do that? I mean, not that I'm complaining.
You're gonna have to ask him.
Ugh! I think he's gonna need a minute.
Artie, if you stay, you'll be lost in here forever.
And that's a problem, why? Things are better in here.
Things are the way I want them to be.
It's not real.
"Real" is overrated.
You think this is better because Leena's here, but it's not safe.
You can't just stay in here in denial, Artie.
You have to come out and face No! Fa Face what, Artie? Leave it, Claudia.
You'll disappear.
I know.
That's what I want! She wouldn't want it.
If I go with you, then I will have to remember.
I'll remember her face before - Artie.
- Oh.
She trusted me, and she didn't understand.
And And then No.
Why would you make me remember that? So far, there are no confirmed deaths, but we do know that tens, possibly hundreds of thousands of victims have been affected by the sweating sickness crisis.
The CDC fears devastating statistics by morning.
There is no question we are now witness to the worst catastrophe in recorded medical history.
I'm being told the president is about to make a statement.
We go now to the press room at the White House.
Your partner has a fantastic right hook.
Now, shouldn't we scram before the police arrive? Oh, no.
Phone call from a crazy lady on the fancy end of Paris? I don't think that's a priority for the gendarme tonight, what with the whole world sweating to death and all.
I think we got a minute.
He lied to us, Pete.
No, no, technically, I did not lie to you.
I have a pretty good eye for detail, Professor.
Uh, just so you know, this is very hot.
All that research that you showed us? Conspicuously Absent were portraits of the count.
Not one! And then I saw This.
You are not an expert on the count of St.
Germain.
You are the count of St.
Germain.
You don't look very well.
Note that he is not denying Mykes! Mykes! We really should be going, so Just tell us the truth! You're the count.
All right, yes.
I'm the count.
What.
Okay, okay.
So, you're You're, like, really, really old, with a lot more "Really" s.
Are you What are you are you, like, a vampire? Oh, please.
Vampires are for gothic novels, and apparently, preadolescent girls.
I don't know, I kinda I kinda like vampires.
How is this even possible? Alchemy.
An alchemist used a stone, a particular stone, to keep my body from aging.
Oh, great, another artifact we have to look for.
No, don't bother.
Long gone, so is the alchemist.
So you're 300 years old? That's amazing.
So you were hiding? No, just lying about my age, and who I am, and where I'm from.
I've made my way quite well, actually.
Fortunately, man is just as gullible today as he was 500 years ago, but with a smaller vocabulary.
So you became a Professor that specializes in the 1700s.
Write what you know, and when two government agents asked about my ring, I saw an opportunity.
All this stuff that Charlotte has All these antiques that are hundreds and hundreds of years old This is yours, and you just, what, want 'em back? Exactly, and your legend.
I'm not selfish.
I merely thought while we were here, I might as well nick an old memento or two.
Ah, yes.
Coincidently, all the gold ones, right, chap? We didn't find the legend.
You didn't.
I snatched it while you two ladies were busy gabbing about what a cad I am.
What is this? Open it up.
That's the legend, Mykes, to the map.
You see? I really am trying to help.
Come now.
You've got to be a tiny bit impressed.
All right, fine, I am a tiny bit impressed.
Thank you.
Yes.
Right then, off to the catacombs.
Stakes high, lives in the balance, blah, blah, danger cakes.
Shall we? All right.
Let's get going before Charlotte kicks her way out of that closet.
So you were really friends with Marie Antoinette? Uh, not friends, per se.
Well, we were, then we weren't.
The woman seemed to think I was using her for her money.
And why would she think that? Probably because I was using her for her money.
Pretty big haul? It was going to be my retirement.
Marie's Violet sunrise.
The diamond? - Oh, my God.
- What? Big? People wrote stories about it.
I wrote two of them.
It was worth untold riches.
Once I had it, no more cons, I'd be out, but I misjudged.
What do you mean, you misju Oh.
They bumped uglies.
Some things are eternal.
You know, "a woman, scorned.
" No fury to match it.
She tried to have me beheaded.
Rather her thing.
Don't jilt a queen.
I disappeared.
Left everything behind, everything I'd worked so hard to get.
You mean everything that you fleeced from all your innocent victims.
I believe that's what I said.
Including my ring, by the way.
Pete, look.
So how do you have a public funeral without a body? Marie used one of her servants.
A dear, sweet, boy named Sebastian.
Poor Marie.
She wasn't well.
Declining popularity, I heard.
These faces.
This one's Greek, this is Greek, this is Greek, but this one, his face is Chinese.
They're all Greek to me.
It's the lock.
Be careful.
Well, I imagine one or two of these gentlemen were sent here by you.
They were all well-paid.
Bingo.
How do you even use that thing? We know what we're doing.
Okay.
Anyone flayed? All safe now? Yeah, it's clear.
We're the first people in this room for hundreds of years.
- It's - Impressive.
But also a little creepy.
I mean, it is your tomb.
Pete, the ring.
That's it.
Let's do this then.
What the hell was that? Oh! - Oh! Oh! Oh! - Whoa! Pete! What, is this another one of Marie's deterrents? I had no idea she booby-trapped the whole place! That woman is so paranoid! Let's get the hell out of here! Pete! Look out! Sutton! Pete! Oh, no.
Oh, God.
Come on! It's safe over here.
Come on, we gotta get you up.
Oh, that would be nice.
I'm going a bit numb, and rather quickly.
A poison Dart, typical Marie.
We'll find you an antidote.
What, in the catacombs? Myka, you're too smart for sentimentality.
There's no time.
I always wondered if being ageless meant being immortal.
Apparently, a poison Dart through the heart will kill me.
That's good to know.
I won't do that again.
You saved me.
Well, as I said, beautiful women are my fatal flaw.
Go on, use the ring.
I won't have the entire world Upstage my big death scene.
No, no, we can't leave you here.
Are you insane? I can't resist the poetry.
This is my crypt.
Go.
Save the world.
Sutton? - Pete.
- Huh? Okay.
Okay.
Mykes, we did it, Mykes.
We saved everybody.
Almost everybody.
What did you remember, Artie? What's wrong? It wasn't you.
Something got to you.
Something made you do it.
Why is it so dark? It's reality finding its way in.
She brought it.
This isn't real? No.
I'm sorry, Artie, but I think a bigger part of you wants to leave.
In Germany, you said, "save me," so I did, and I'd do it again, and again and again and again, no matter how angry you get.
You gave yourself clues, Artie.
Like this door.
There's no door in this spot at Leena's.
But it's more than just a door, isn't it? It's the way out.
What makes you so sure you know what's right? Because I know you, and I don't think you're done fighting, even if you don't know it yet.
It's the fight that matters, Artie.
Now go! No! Yes! I'm sorry.
Claudia, listen to me.
There was nothing more we could have done.
- We tried - Hey.
Where's Artie? Mrs.
Frederic said, "He was awake".
He is.
Claudia brought him back.
Clau Claudia? He won't talk to us.
This is going to be harder than we thought.
Go away.
That's the nice thing about being me.
I don't take orders from you.
Oh, God, what have I done? It wasn't you.
Yeah, but she's still gone by my hand.
Yes.
Yes.
And how do I fix that? You can't.
Exactly.
I wish you could, but there are some things Many things That cannot be fixed.
Uh You can, however, fix yourself, if you want to.
I want to fight, but Good.
Luckily for you, there are many smart people in your life who love you.
They want to help you.
We'll make it through this together.
Won't we? What were you playing then? Poor Sebastian.
Marie always said you were honest and loyal All the things our good count was not.
Hundreds of years, and he hasn't changed at all.
You're in here.
And my lying, cheating husband is once again out in the world, and with Marie's diamond.
But I have plans too.