Wizards of Waverly Place s04e11 Episode Script

Okay.
I've just finished suffling the deck and will now pick out the very card Justin chose moments ago, using only my magic, magic, magic! Boom! Is this your card? - No.
- OK, all right.
- Boom! Is this your card? - No.
OK.
All right, it's gotta be here somewhere.
Zeke, the card is still in my pocket.
You never put it back into the deck.
Right.
Is this your card? - Yeah! Oh! - Ah! So, it looks like Zeke has a new hobby.
- Yep.
- And it sounds like you love it.
Nope.
And now, for my next trick I'll need a volunteer to lend me some money.
Any size bill will do.
All right, well, I got a five, - I have a 20 - Twenty, OK, great.
Zeke, I have smaller bills! Not to worry, Max.
Because, before your very eyes, I'm gonna squeeze this bill back together using only my magic, magic! Abraca Oh, it didn't work.
Zeke, you know what I think you did wrong? You weren't squeezing hard enough.
Why don't you try it again? Oh, OK.
- Alex, what are you doing? - The same thing I always do.
Entertaining myself when the entertainment is not entertaining me.
Oh, my gosh! There's a baby duck in my hand! Where did this baby duck come from? Wow, that is a great trick, Zeke.
Zeke, thank you so much for this duck.
I can't wait to raise it and sell its milk.
Justin, how did I do that? I don't know, but a good magician never reveals his secrets.
Alex, you practically exposed magic to Zeke.
Do you know what that's gonna do to us in the wizard competition? It wasn't that big of a deal.
If he starts asking questions, I am not covering for you.
Well, I cover for you all the time.
When people say you're uptight, I say, "Oh, you should try living with him.
" Look, Alex, Justin's right.
You always use magic for your own amusement, and then we have to cover for you.
But, did you see how happy Zeke was when he thought he pulled off that trick? I do wuv that wittle ducky.
Oh, I'm gonna go make him a chicken outfit.
Everything is not what it seems Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze That the end will no doubt justify the means You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease Yes, please But you might find out it'll go to your head When you write a report on a book you never read With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed That's what I said Everything is not what it seems When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams You might run into trouble if you go to extremes Because everything is not what it seems Be careful not to mess with the balance of things Because everything is not What it seems Hey, Zeke.
Listen, I've got a little proposition for you.
You ever considered a career as a professional magician? 'Cause I want to be in the Zeke Beekerman business.
Yeah, it's always been a dream of mine, but I've also wanted to be a masked wrestler.
But that's never gonna happen.
Well, let me tell ya, as a magician, you are a true talent.
Now here's what I'm gonna be your manager.
Do you have an awesome magician name we can work off of? No, I don't.
I'm still trying to figure out how I did that trick.
Zeke, your eyes are on the wrong thing.
You gotta think big.
From now on, you're gonna be called the Amazing Zeke-ini.
That sounds like "zucchini.
" I love it.
Even better.
"The Amazing Zucchini.
" Do you see what I've already done for you? Something amazing's going on here.
And I think I know what it is.
Harper, can I talk to you outside for a second? All right.
Don't freak out, but when I did that magic trick with Max's money, everything is not what it seemed.
What do you mean? Harper, do you believe in the existence of wizards? - Wizards? - Shh! Because, after what I saw today, I know they exist.
What?! No, that's crazy.
Alex is not a wizard! Of course Alex isn't a wizard.
I am.
Excuse me? How else could I have conjured up that baby duck? I totally have magical wizard powers.
Unless you have a better explanation.
Um, uh Maybe you were making scrambled eggs, and you cracked one, and you didn't see that there was a baby duck inside it, and it got stuck between your fingers, and You're a wizard.
Listen, don't tell anyone else about this.
We don't know how the rest of the world might react - to someone as powerful as me.
- Oh, I won't tell anybody.
You're the best, Harper Finkle.
Gosh, it finally feels so good to understand why I've never fit in on this planet.
Whoo! Yeah! I am not a normal person! Whoo! Maybe later.
Great! Whoo! Nice job, Alex.
Thanks to you I had to lie to Zeke's face, 'cause he thinks he's a wizard.
Oh, my gosh.
Could you imagine Zeke as a wizard? That'd be hilarious.
"Oh no, I messed up the spell.
I turned my legs into licorice.
There's another reason I can't wear shorts!" Waa! Justin's right.
You took it too far this time.
What is the big deal? The big deal is that it's already bad enough that I have to keep a secret from my boyfriend, but now I'm straight-up lying to him, too? You have to tell him the truth, Alex.
I can't tell him the truth, Harper.
That would be exposing wizardry.
- Well then, fine, I'll do it.
- You can't do that.
That could get me kicked out of the wizard competition for good.
I know you're wizards, and I'm keeping the secret.
- Zeke will, too.
- How? Zeke says everything that pops into his head.
Have you heard the kid go down the stairs? Step, step, step, step.
Waa! That is only when there's no handrail.
Harper, if you tell him the truth, that would be crossing the line.
I don't think I could ever forgive you for that.
Look, just Don't worry.
- I'll handle it.
- Fine.
Until then, I'll just keep lying to the ones I love.
Oh, hey, your hair looks super good today, Alex.
- Thank you.
- Oh, I lied again.
Waa! Hey, Justin, what are you doing? - Just sweeping up.
- Yeah.
I remember when I had to use a broom to sweep stuff up.
What are you talking about? Nothing, nothing.
Shouldn't have said anything.
- OK.
- I wasn't going to tell you, but you're pulling it out of me.
OK.
Remember when I did that magic trick today? That was real magic.
I'm a wizard.
I'm sorry.
Did you say wizard? Keep it down, man! I know this may be hard for you to process as a man of science, but yes, I am definitely a wizard.
Sorry, Justin, looks like I'm the cool one now.
Zeke, I'm pretty sure wizards don't exist.
Zeke, big news.
I got you your first gig.
What do you think about performing in Las Vegas? - I love it! - Yeah? Well, maybe with some luck and a better manager, you'll be there one day.
But, for now, it's gonna be a kid's birthday party.
We're gonna do it right here in the Sub Station.
One second.
Go for Max.
Can you believe that? A magic show with a real wizard.
This is gonna be the greatest show ever.
Excuse me for a minute, Zeke.
I gotta go talk to Alex.
Hey, hey.
Don't tell her I'm a wizard.
She seems like the kind of person who might take advantage of magic.
Hey, that's my sister you're talking about.
And you are absolutely right.
Have you seen the cover to the tomato sauce? Oh, so you want me to cover for you again? Guess what, Alex? Zeke is gonna do a magic show in front of a bunch of people.
Oh, he's terrible.
So that means it's gonna be hilarious.
I know he's terrible, you know he's terrible.
But Zeke? He doesn't know he's terrible.
He thinks he's a wizard.
- Oh, so he told you, too? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, but don't worry about it, Justin, because Alex says she's gonna handle it.
- Ooh! - I am, OK? I totally have a plan to fix this.
Great.
What is it? Are you ready, because you're gonna love this.
You are stalling.
She's stalling.
I am gonna wait for Zeke to realize that he's not a wizard when his magic act fails.
And it'll be hilarious for all of us.
Yeah, that should work.
It's pretty good.
Wait, so your plan is to let my boyfriend humiliate himself? I can't let that happen.
Zeke, honey, are you sure you want to do a magic show? It may not turn out like you think.
Of course I want to do it.
I'm great at magic.
It's almost as if I were a real wizard.
I think I'm with Harper on this one, Zeke.
I, uh I don't think you should go through with it.
What? Why aren't you guys supporting me on this? I mean, I understand Justin.
I'm just cooler than you.
But, Harper, you're my girlfriend.
I know.
I just I don't think it's a good idea.
I finally find my true calling, and you guys are trying to talk me out of it? I don't get it.
I thought we had a better relationship than this.
This isn't about our relationship, Zeke.
Well, then, what's it about? I can't tell you.
You're keeping secrets from me? - We don't do that.
- I know we don't.
- So tell me.
- I can't.
Well, if you can't tell me, Harper Finkle, then I have to break up with you.
I hope you're happy, Alex.
I kept your secret.
Is this as hilarious as you thought it'd be? Harper.
Have you been up all night knitting this? I'm not talking to you! Harper, I didn't think Zeke would break up with you.
I feel so bad.
Look, I'm gonna take care of this.
- Bad! - What? That's what you said before, and look what happened.
Stop taking care of it! Hello, everybody.
Thank you for coming today.
I'd like to wish a very happy birthday to little Mickey Scudamore.
And now, I present to you, the Amazing Zucchini! Zeke, get out of the trunk! Uh Sorry, the Amazing Zucchini was in the bathroom.
You started early.
The Amazing Zucchini, everybody! Thank you.
Thank you.
Tonight, you will see an amazing world of magic.
- Magic, magic.
- Magic, magic, magic.
All right! Justin, have you seen Harper? She's upstairs bawling her eyes out.
I really messed up this time.
You think? Thanks for telling me.
I had no clue.
We need to do something.
I think that we should tell Zeke the truth.
Alex, we cannot tell Zeke.
That'd be breaking the number one wizard rule.
I know, I know.
And there's a reason that Max is in the lead.
- We cannot tell Zeke.
- You're right.
That's why we are so far behind OK, I get it! Great, Mickey! Hey! That guy just tore up my money.
That 20's coming off of the bill.
Not to worry.
I am the Amazing Zucchini.
And I'm his assistant, Pickle.
- We didn't discuss this.
- You're right, you're right.
The Amazing Pickle.
Hey, Zeke? I have something to tell you.
- Gosh, she's gonna tell him.
- We have to do something.
Zeke, listen, there's something I'm busy, Harper.
Get out of here.
Whoa, what a trick, huh, folks? Zucchini and Pickle are incredible! That's right.
I did it.
It's coming from my hands.
That's where the power is! All right! Yeah! Whoo! How did Alex! Hi, Gordon.
See you in P.
E.
! And now, the Amazing Zucchini will perform his greatest trick.
I'm gonna saw Pickle in half! - Oh, no.
- The saw is real.
Zeke, this one is too dangerous.
Put the saw down.
Aw, come on.
This is his greatest trick.
It's fine, Justin.
I got this.
Guys, calm down.
It's all an illusion.
He's a great magician.
No, he's not.
The saw is real.
I used magic to fake Zeke's trick yesterday.
Now he thinks he's a wizard with magical powers.
Then get me out of this thing before that caped freak saws me in two! Saw him, saw him! You still don't want to use magic? Chancy meat, schmancy treat, fancy feet is now complete.
I cut him in half without using the saw.
Aw, somebody catch my feet! Whoa, I've never seen this before.
Good one! Don't worry, I'll get it.
I can't believe you flashed me back to school.
You were going to tell Zeke.
What kind of a friend are you? Look, Harper, I want to tell Zeke too, but I can't! We can't.
You're just gonna have to accept that! I can't accept that because it's ruining my life! Everybody, calm down.
Stop! Oh, no! I'm out of control.
I've frozen the entire world forever.
I feel so alone.
Zeke.
You're not frozen? I am losing my mind! Zeke, listen to me, OK? You are not a wizard.
I am.
This is no time for jokes, Justin.
I froze the entire world! Oh, what kind of monster am I?! Zeke, you did not do any of this, OK? I did.
I am a wizard.
- I even have a wand.
- This cheap-looking stick that's always sticking out of your back pocket? Justin, why are you lying to me? - I'm the real wizard.
- Really? Yeah, I'm the one who made the baby duck appear, I'm the one who made my ex-girlfriend disappear, and if you hadn't noticed, everyone is frozen.
Where are we?! What just happened? Zeke, Zeke, calm down.
Why is this window all lopsided? You have a closet of fog! Calm down! And gargoyles wearing sunglasses, man! And what is going on?! Zeke Oh, my gosh.
- You're a wizard.
- Yes.
Don't hurt me, wizard freak.
Zeke, no one is gonna hurt you, OK? I am here for you.
I am still your best friend.
- Really? - Yes.
Oh It all makes sense now.
That's why you and Alex showed up in Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 2, when you weren't even in Night of the Halloween Sorority Party Disaster 1! And that's why I saw that dog turn into a werewolf.
It was Mason! Whoa! - OK, let's take a seat.
- Oh! Whoa! Let's let it all settle in.
OK.
Now that you know, you cannot tell anyone.
Alex and Max are also wizards.
The only other people who know are my parents and Harper.
- Harper? - Mm-hmm.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, what have I done? That's the only reason she didn't want me to do magic.
She didn't want me to make a fool of myself.
Oh.
I should have never broken up with her.
- You should tell her that.
- You're right.
I will.
How far are we from the sub shop? I don't have any cab fare either, so We're, uh closer than you think.
Man, your weird magic laboratory really is in your vegetable cooler.
Man, I should have known.
Your family spends a lot of time in there.
I think it's time to get this party re-started.
You OK? OK? This is the best day of my life.
Gosh, I just learned my best friend is a wizard.
- Let's do it, Justini! - Don't call me that.
Let's move this party along.
Time to cut the cake.
You just made that cake appear out of nowhere! Is it chocolate? - Now it is.
- Oh, ho! Sweet.
All right.
Tick tock.
Time was stopped.
Bang the gong.
Time moves on.
Hey, everybody! Who's ready for some cake? Right over there.
Hey, legs.
Get us a corner piece with lots of frosting.
Go.
I'm not gonna argue with you anymore, OK? Justin will not let me, let you tell Zeke that we're wizards.
I just told Zeke we're wizards.
What?! The secret was coming in-between everyone.
I made the decision, I will accept the consequences.
Don't worry, I will never tell anyone, I swear.
You better swear, because if you do, you will live the rest of your life in our closet of fog.
We have a closet of fog? I want to see that.
Harper, I am so sorry I was such a jerk to you before.
I guess all that fake magic power really went to my head.
I hope you'll take me back.
Of course I'll take you back, Zeke.
I missed you so much.
Come here.
Can I just apologize, too, Harper? - You don't need to.
- Yes, I do.
I was careless with magic, and I put you in a really tough spot.
- And I'm sorry.
- And I'm sorry I said I don't care about the wizard competition.
I do.
There's a wizard competition? OK, OK.
Who do you guys think would win in a brawl? Wizards, aliens, or sharks with lasers attached to their heads? Oh, do you guys need batteries for your wands, or you just like zap it and it comes to life, and you're just like, "Give me my wand!" Ha, ha! This is no longer cute, put his voice on mute.
Thank you.
What's this pen-like thing do? It's a pen.
It writes.
Awesome! I've never seen anything like these desks before.
Yes, you have.
I got them at the Desk Barn.
You were there.
You picked them out.
Magical knickknacks! Yes! Maybe we should ease Zeke into the magic.
He still has a hard time with the ordinary things.
What?! A magical comfy chair! Oh, let me try it, let me try it, let me try it.
Oh, my gosh.
It really is magical.
It's It's comfy! What?!