Young Dracula (2006) s04e11 Episode Script
Bootiful Breathers
We have convened to elect Adze's replacement on the High Council, by due process laid out in section three, paragraph two of the covenant of the vampiric constitution.
By the power invested in me as Chief High Councillor, I present Ingrid Dracula.
Do you, Ingrid Dracula, swear your allegiance to the High Council? I do.
Then I introduce your opponent.
What opponent? George Lansley.
Good to see you again, Ustrel.
Likewise, George.
Do you, George Lansley, swear your allegiance to the High Council? I do.
We will adjourn until all members have voted.
There's one loser here, and it's not me.
Still pining? Never mind.
I'm still here, Master.
Oh, I loves a game of chess, me.
Your move, Master.
I'll go first.
I think I'll gohere.
Father, Bertolini's file.
There's nothing incriminating.
Bertolini must have a weakness.
Have you ever thought maybe he's as perfect as McCauley thinks he is? Guess not.
Why don't you just dust him? Becausebreathers have an unfathomable sentimentality for the dead.
He will live on in Miss McCauley's heart and I I'll never get a look in.
Not if he dies a fool.
Make it so that it'ssome stupid accident of his own doing.
Sit, sit, sit.
Chess always helps me think.
No, no, no! Winner stays on.
Oh, yeah? Check mate.
Well, um, I'll leave you to it.
After you.
The vote is unanimous.
Ingrid Dracula Yes! .
.
we thank you for being a worthy opponent.
The Council elects George Lansley.
LAUGHTER Now, moving on to item two on our agenda No hard feelings? HE HISSES Oh, kidney balls? Ah! These are for Master.
But he hates kidney.
I know.
Urgh! - Kidney! - My mistake, Master.
I deserve to be punished! RENFIELD SIGHS LAUGHTER Count! George Lansley! I hear congratulations are in order.
Come, come, come, come! A WORTHY choice on the High Council's part.
And a crate of the finest as promised for nominating me.
Ah.
I always back a winner.
- RENFIELD: - Oi, that's my job! You nominated him against me? Yes.
Who knew politics could be such fun? THEY SNIGGER This isn't over.
Ignore her.
All flap, no flight.
Guests first, weasel face.
Ah, Vlad.
Meet George Lansley, newest member of the High Council.
You are aware that the High Council is still fully committed to peaceful coexistence? I hope to be envoy between biter and breather.
The slayers will be glad to hear that.
I'll assure them you're on side.
To peace! No taste.
Do you want to get some proper stuff? Didn't you hear? Peace still stands.
No hunting.
Who's going to stop us? The slayers? He's only using you to get at me.
- It's not all about you.
- He'll hurt you.
Don't forget I know that it was you who mind-wiped the slayers, so if anyone's going to get hurt, it'll be you.
By me.
And when you least expect it.
That colour scheme the Count has - terrible taste in curtains.
No, no, no, no, no! You're driving.
We can pick another couple of waifs and strays from the arches before sun up.
Lovely.
Concentrate, idiot! Go that way.
That way! It's all right.
We're not going to hurt you.
Move the boxes.
It's all right.
My name's George.
I run a shelter for the homeless.
Your hands are freezing! That's it.
Nice and steady, mind the puddles.
Get you a nice cup of tea and a warm bath.
Now, are you sure it's completely unsafe? Well, it will be once I've sawn off a beam and drilled a few more holes.
Ah, yes.
Bertolini really will be .
.
falling for McCauley.
LAUGHS EVILLY Comfort food? What's wrong? The Count doesn't like me anymore.
He never liked you.
I may as well not exist.
Dad takes you for granted.
Why don't you leave for a few days? He'll soon realise how much he really values you.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I was hoping for a caravanby the beach.
They were all out of those.
Are you sure this is going to work? A couple of days and Dad will be begging to have you back.
But it's scary.
- I'll always know where you are.
- But what if I get lonely? Oh, Mr Nitty! - And a bedtime story? - Don't push it.
HE MOUTHS - Miss McCauley? - Ah, Bertolini.
Talitha Knutsford - the report you wanted.
Oh, you finished it already? I thought I'd stay behind and get it donefor you.
I really appreciate you staying late.
Well, two heads are better than, er Not interrupting, am I? Not at all.
Just doing reports.
I'm calling in the exterminators.
The, er, bats have returned.
You can't get rid of them.
Why ever not? They are flying vermin.
A protected species.
We must get this on record.
Yes, yes.
Oh, and they were circling the south roof.
After you.
CRICKETS CHIRRUP OWL HOOTS Any sign? Not yet.
Hello, hello.
We can't have you lying down there in the cold.
RENFIELD GRUNTS Don't I know you? - Well, I - Don't tell me.
- Weasel face.
- Name's Renfield, actually.
- Kicked you out, has he? - I left of my own accord.
He's taken me for granted for far too long.
It just so happens I'm looking for someone with your experience.
- Really? - Yes.
Decent staff are so very hard to find these days.
Interested, Mr Renfield? Yes, Master.
A helping hand.
There we go, take a seat.
And before you go, smell that.
HE SNIFFS Oh, that's nice, innit? It's got Lovely.
Quick as you can to the farm.
ENGINE STARTS You carry weasel face, I've got a bad back.
Now hurry up, come on! And stop making decisions for yourself.
If I'd wanted a decision maker, I'd have employed someone else.
I've brought hot chocolate.
YOU are one in a million.
- Malik! - What's up? Nothing! That's the problem.
Bertolini is down there, when he should be up there.
Your imbecilic plan has served only to thrust him further into the bosom of Miss McCauley's affections.
Fancy spreading your wings? We'll lure him out.
OK, now hurry up, the High Council's expecting a delivery.
Ustrel needs it soon.
GLASS SMASHES Oh, for the love of Buffy! There's no time for that now, we can't be late.
And remember - breakages come out of your wages, so don't fill your overtime sheet in this month.
ENGINE STARTS MACHINE BEEPS Committed to peace(?) I think not.
There they are - two, A male and a female.
Just look.
A courting flight - it's beautiful.
Little brother's turning into big brother.
What do you want? Keeping an eye on biters is thirsty work.
Dad won't miss it.
OK, you definitely want something.
Lansley's not the ambassador for peace he'd like you to believe.
I think you should see this.
Come, Brother.
- What have they done to him? - It's a breather farm.
Lansley keeps them sedated so they keep producing blood? That's sick.
- I'm taking this to the High Council.
- Lansley and Ustrel go way back.
Lansley was elected because he was supplying him with this blood.
It goes against every bone in my body to say this, - but perhaps we should tell the slayers.
- No.
If the slayers find out, they'll come after all of us.
- Let them kill him - There are no slayers.
I mind-wiped them all.
HE SIGHS I'm impressed.
Now biters are free to rule the world.
A world not worth living in.
A world plunged into darkness.
Don't be such a drama queen! We need the slayers.
Biters have to be kept in check.
This is what happens when we aren't.
And that's a problem, why? There'll be bloodshed like never before.
I'm salivating in anticipation.
When the breathers have been drained, we'll turn on ourselves.
Peaceful coexistence isn't just about protecting breathers, it's about protecting us from ourselves.
Well, you can forget about peaceful coexistence with Lansley around.
If the slayers can't stop him, you have to.
He got all these from the arches? Hang on, that can't be.
Vampire bats! SHE SNORES SOFTLY You went round that bend too quickly, idiot! HE GRUNTS Don't answer back.
Stop here.
Come on, turn the torch on.
Go back to the van and get it! Oh, for bats' sake! HE CHUCKLES Vladimir! Just doing some work with the homeless.
Don't like to brag about it.
I've seen your breather farm.
LANGLEY SCOFFS I'm taking you in.
You'll stand trial for treason in front of the High Council.
HE CACKLES Look at you now! Helpless! I'm going to have breather farms all over the world! INGRID CLAPS SLOWLY Bravo, Brother, bravo! Not now, Ingrid.
I've just dusted a member of the High Council.
Goodness! So you have.
You knew I'd have to do this if you told me about the breather farms.
Nobody can find out about this.
We'll have to see about that.
Knowledge is power.
You won't have that power for long.
I'll make sure of it.
Bring it on, Brother.
Going somewhere? - Bats.
- Bats.
Come, come, come.
Come.
Je vous en prie, mon ami.
Mais oui.
That way, that way.
Depeche-toi.
Through the window.
Mind the parapet.
Can you see the second chimney? Head for that! Oh, and be careful of the slate to the left of the chimney.
SLATES CLATTER It's loose.
Woah! Arrrgh! Arrrgh! HE COUGHS What happened here? Well, I did warn him the roof wasn't safe.
What's going on? Mr Bertolini, are you OK? He's obviouslysnuffed it.
How can you be so callous? No, he's still with us.
He's got a pulse.
Mr Bertolini, can you hear us? HE GROANS FAINTLY He's alive! Vladimir Dracula.
George Lansley has been found dusted, assassinated by the slayers.
This stake was found with his ashes.
- What? - So much for your peace treaty.
HE HISSES This is a declaration of war.
We will bring every last slayer - .
.
to their knees.
- We strike now.
This could have been planted.
Manufacturing evidence to start war for political means is nothing new.
It's time to stand up and be counted.
SHE HISSES I agree.
The war cabinet must be convened.
Interested? What about the breather farm? - What of it? - I'll tell the High Council about it.
They wouldn't care.
They will if they find out you're Lansley's silent partner.
You have no proof of that.
I'm sure I'll find some.
You have no idea what I'm capable of.
Peace stands.
Like you said, there's no real proof it was the slayers who killed Lansley.
Ustrel! Apologies, nobody told me we had a guest.
Drink? Renfield! Renfield! - Where is that putrid worm? - Allow me.
HE SNIFFS Go on.
It's free range.
And delicious.
So much better than what Lansley used to produce.
They're better fed and exercised now.
It makes all the difference.
The breather farm is still going? What are you going to do? Report us to the slayers? Oh.
Oh! Master Vlad, take me home.
Everybody's being really nice to me.
It's like a holiday from hell.
- Don't worry, this place is closing down.
- Right.
COCKEREL CROWS Miss McCauley! How is he? He'll make a full recovery.
No thanks to you.
Oh, well, that is, er, good news.
One second.
You were meant to fix that roof.
Rest assured he will beseverely punished.
- This is all your fault - Yeah.
- .
.
you useless, worm-faced - Ah.
.
.
good for nothing imbecile.
You mentioned a severe punishment? HE SIGHS That'll do for starters.
Keep up, weasel face.
- HE SIGHS - What now? I thought you'd like to be the first to congratulate me on being elected to the High Council.
Now we're equal.
We both have power.
It's not the same thing.
It's how you use it that counts.
How right you are.
Be warned, Ingrid - power corrupts.
I've misused mine and look what's happened.
I've lost Erin and Bertrand.
I won't make the same mistakes you have.
I was born to be a leader.
Nobody's born to be a leader.
You learn the hard way.
Well, while you're righting your wrongs, I will be declaring war on the slayers.
Haven't you listened to a word I've just said? What can go wrong? It can only be a triumphant victory, thanks to you mind-wiping them.
Renfield! Send this express.
To Jonno.
Very good, Master Vlad.
By the power invested in me as Chief High Councillor, I present Ingrid Dracula.
Do you, Ingrid Dracula, swear your allegiance to the High Council? I do.
Then I introduce your opponent.
What opponent? George Lansley.
Good to see you again, Ustrel.
Likewise, George.
Do you, George Lansley, swear your allegiance to the High Council? I do.
We will adjourn until all members have voted.
There's one loser here, and it's not me.
Still pining? Never mind.
I'm still here, Master.
Oh, I loves a game of chess, me.
Your move, Master.
I'll go first.
I think I'll gohere.
Father, Bertolini's file.
There's nothing incriminating.
Bertolini must have a weakness.
Have you ever thought maybe he's as perfect as McCauley thinks he is? Guess not.
Why don't you just dust him? Becausebreathers have an unfathomable sentimentality for the dead.
He will live on in Miss McCauley's heart and I I'll never get a look in.
Not if he dies a fool.
Make it so that it'ssome stupid accident of his own doing.
Sit, sit, sit.
Chess always helps me think.
No, no, no! Winner stays on.
Oh, yeah? Check mate.
Well, um, I'll leave you to it.
After you.
The vote is unanimous.
Ingrid Dracula Yes! .
.
we thank you for being a worthy opponent.
The Council elects George Lansley.
LAUGHTER Now, moving on to item two on our agenda No hard feelings? HE HISSES Oh, kidney balls? Ah! These are for Master.
But he hates kidney.
I know.
Urgh! - Kidney! - My mistake, Master.
I deserve to be punished! RENFIELD SIGHS LAUGHTER Count! George Lansley! I hear congratulations are in order.
Come, come, come, come! A WORTHY choice on the High Council's part.
And a crate of the finest as promised for nominating me.
Ah.
I always back a winner.
- RENFIELD: - Oi, that's my job! You nominated him against me? Yes.
Who knew politics could be such fun? THEY SNIGGER This isn't over.
Ignore her.
All flap, no flight.
Guests first, weasel face.
Ah, Vlad.
Meet George Lansley, newest member of the High Council.
You are aware that the High Council is still fully committed to peaceful coexistence? I hope to be envoy between biter and breather.
The slayers will be glad to hear that.
I'll assure them you're on side.
To peace! No taste.
Do you want to get some proper stuff? Didn't you hear? Peace still stands.
No hunting.
Who's going to stop us? The slayers? He's only using you to get at me.
- It's not all about you.
- He'll hurt you.
Don't forget I know that it was you who mind-wiped the slayers, so if anyone's going to get hurt, it'll be you.
By me.
And when you least expect it.
That colour scheme the Count has - terrible taste in curtains.
No, no, no, no, no! You're driving.
We can pick another couple of waifs and strays from the arches before sun up.
Lovely.
Concentrate, idiot! Go that way.
That way! It's all right.
We're not going to hurt you.
Move the boxes.
It's all right.
My name's George.
I run a shelter for the homeless.
Your hands are freezing! That's it.
Nice and steady, mind the puddles.
Get you a nice cup of tea and a warm bath.
Now, are you sure it's completely unsafe? Well, it will be once I've sawn off a beam and drilled a few more holes.
Ah, yes.
Bertolini really will be .
.
falling for McCauley.
LAUGHS EVILLY Comfort food? What's wrong? The Count doesn't like me anymore.
He never liked you.
I may as well not exist.
Dad takes you for granted.
Why don't you leave for a few days? He'll soon realise how much he really values you.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I was hoping for a caravanby the beach.
They were all out of those.
Are you sure this is going to work? A couple of days and Dad will be begging to have you back.
But it's scary.
- I'll always know where you are.
- But what if I get lonely? Oh, Mr Nitty! - And a bedtime story? - Don't push it.
HE MOUTHS - Miss McCauley? - Ah, Bertolini.
Talitha Knutsford - the report you wanted.
Oh, you finished it already? I thought I'd stay behind and get it donefor you.
I really appreciate you staying late.
Well, two heads are better than, er Not interrupting, am I? Not at all.
Just doing reports.
I'm calling in the exterminators.
The, er, bats have returned.
You can't get rid of them.
Why ever not? They are flying vermin.
A protected species.
We must get this on record.
Yes, yes.
Oh, and they were circling the south roof.
After you.
CRICKETS CHIRRUP OWL HOOTS Any sign? Not yet.
Hello, hello.
We can't have you lying down there in the cold.
RENFIELD GRUNTS Don't I know you? - Well, I - Don't tell me.
- Weasel face.
- Name's Renfield, actually.
- Kicked you out, has he? - I left of my own accord.
He's taken me for granted for far too long.
It just so happens I'm looking for someone with your experience.
- Really? - Yes.
Decent staff are so very hard to find these days.
Interested, Mr Renfield? Yes, Master.
A helping hand.
There we go, take a seat.
And before you go, smell that.
HE SNIFFS Oh, that's nice, innit? It's got Lovely.
Quick as you can to the farm.
ENGINE STARTS You carry weasel face, I've got a bad back.
Now hurry up, come on! And stop making decisions for yourself.
If I'd wanted a decision maker, I'd have employed someone else.
I've brought hot chocolate.
YOU are one in a million.
- Malik! - What's up? Nothing! That's the problem.
Bertolini is down there, when he should be up there.
Your imbecilic plan has served only to thrust him further into the bosom of Miss McCauley's affections.
Fancy spreading your wings? We'll lure him out.
OK, now hurry up, the High Council's expecting a delivery.
Ustrel needs it soon.
GLASS SMASHES Oh, for the love of Buffy! There's no time for that now, we can't be late.
And remember - breakages come out of your wages, so don't fill your overtime sheet in this month.
ENGINE STARTS MACHINE BEEPS Committed to peace(?) I think not.
There they are - two, A male and a female.
Just look.
A courting flight - it's beautiful.
Little brother's turning into big brother.
What do you want? Keeping an eye on biters is thirsty work.
Dad won't miss it.
OK, you definitely want something.
Lansley's not the ambassador for peace he'd like you to believe.
I think you should see this.
Come, Brother.
- What have they done to him? - It's a breather farm.
Lansley keeps them sedated so they keep producing blood? That's sick.
- I'm taking this to the High Council.
- Lansley and Ustrel go way back.
Lansley was elected because he was supplying him with this blood.
It goes against every bone in my body to say this, - but perhaps we should tell the slayers.
- No.
If the slayers find out, they'll come after all of us.
- Let them kill him - There are no slayers.
I mind-wiped them all.
HE SIGHS I'm impressed.
Now biters are free to rule the world.
A world not worth living in.
A world plunged into darkness.
Don't be such a drama queen! We need the slayers.
Biters have to be kept in check.
This is what happens when we aren't.
And that's a problem, why? There'll be bloodshed like never before.
I'm salivating in anticipation.
When the breathers have been drained, we'll turn on ourselves.
Peaceful coexistence isn't just about protecting breathers, it's about protecting us from ourselves.
Well, you can forget about peaceful coexistence with Lansley around.
If the slayers can't stop him, you have to.
He got all these from the arches? Hang on, that can't be.
Vampire bats! SHE SNORES SOFTLY You went round that bend too quickly, idiot! HE GRUNTS Don't answer back.
Stop here.
Come on, turn the torch on.
Go back to the van and get it! Oh, for bats' sake! HE CHUCKLES Vladimir! Just doing some work with the homeless.
Don't like to brag about it.
I've seen your breather farm.
LANGLEY SCOFFS I'm taking you in.
You'll stand trial for treason in front of the High Council.
HE CACKLES Look at you now! Helpless! I'm going to have breather farms all over the world! INGRID CLAPS SLOWLY Bravo, Brother, bravo! Not now, Ingrid.
I've just dusted a member of the High Council.
Goodness! So you have.
You knew I'd have to do this if you told me about the breather farms.
Nobody can find out about this.
We'll have to see about that.
Knowledge is power.
You won't have that power for long.
I'll make sure of it.
Bring it on, Brother.
Going somewhere? - Bats.
- Bats.
Come, come, come.
Come.
Je vous en prie, mon ami.
Mais oui.
That way, that way.
Depeche-toi.
Through the window.
Mind the parapet.
Can you see the second chimney? Head for that! Oh, and be careful of the slate to the left of the chimney.
SLATES CLATTER It's loose.
Woah! Arrrgh! Arrrgh! HE COUGHS What happened here? Well, I did warn him the roof wasn't safe.
What's going on? Mr Bertolini, are you OK? He's obviouslysnuffed it.
How can you be so callous? No, he's still with us.
He's got a pulse.
Mr Bertolini, can you hear us? HE GROANS FAINTLY He's alive! Vladimir Dracula.
George Lansley has been found dusted, assassinated by the slayers.
This stake was found with his ashes.
- What? - So much for your peace treaty.
HE HISSES This is a declaration of war.
We will bring every last slayer - .
.
to their knees.
- We strike now.
This could have been planted.
Manufacturing evidence to start war for political means is nothing new.
It's time to stand up and be counted.
SHE HISSES I agree.
The war cabinet must be convened.
Interested? What about the breather farm? - What of it? - I'll tell the High Council about it.
They wouldn't care.
They will if they find out you're Lansley's silent partner.
You have no proof of that.
I'm sure I'll find some.
You have no idea what I'm capable of.
Peace stands.
Like you said, there's no real proof it was the slayers who killed Lansley.
Ustrel! Apologies, nobody told me we had a guest.
Drink? Renfield! Renfield! - Where is that putrid worm? - Allow me.
HE SNIFFS Go on.
It's free range.
And delicious.
So much better than what Lansley used to produce.
They're better fed and exercised now.
It makes all the difference.
The breather farm is still going? What are you going to do? Report us to the slayers? Oh.
Oh! Master Vlad, take me home.
Everybody's being really nice to me.
It's like a holiday from hell.
- Don't worry, this place is closing down.
- Right.
COCKEREL CROWS Miss McCauley! How is he? He'll make a full recovery.
No thanks to you.
Oh, well, that is, er, good news.
One second.
You were meant to fix that roof.
Rest assured he will beseverely punished.
- This is all your fault - Yeah.
- .
.
you useless, worm-faced - Ah.
.
.
good for nothing imbecile.
You mentioned a severe punishment? HE SIGHS That'll do for starters.
Keep up, weasel face.
- HE SIGHS - What now? I thought you'd like to be the first to congratulate me on being elected to the High Council.
Now we're equal.
We both have power.
It's not the same thing.
It's how you use it that counts.
How right you are.
Be warned, Ingrid - power corrupts.
I've misused mine and look what's happened.
I've lost Erin and Bertrand.
I won't make the same mistakes you have.
I was born to be a leader.
Nobody's born to be a leader.
You learn the hard way.
Well, while you're righting your wrongs, I will be declaring war on the slayers.
Haven't you listened to a word I've just said? What can go wrong? It can only be a triumphant victory, thanks to you mind-wiping them.
Renfield! Send this express.
To Jonno.
Very good, Master Vlad.