Gintama (2005) s04e12 Episode Script
Love Is Unconditional
Hey, everybody! Good nightingale! I'm still having so much trouble releasing a CD in real life.
And there's only one match left in the three-match pianist battle to decide Tsu Terakado's official fan club! In the first match, the quiz showdown, Kondo-san made a perfect read to deliver victory for the Tsusengumi! In the second match, the charisma showdown, victory went to the Tsu Terakado Fan Club who invited me to the Gandara Vehotel! And today will be the last match! Which team will show their true love for me? Aww! Now I'm starting to get nervous! Sorry, can I go take a piss? The three-match contest to decide Tsu Terakado's official fan club has finally reached its final match! Only two teams out of the many fans made it to the finals! The Tsu Terakado Fan Club! On the other side, we have the team led by Mr.
Toshi, which has lived up to its name! The Tsusengumi! Each team has one win and one loss.
We've been watching a back-and-forth battle here, but everything will be decided by this final match! Now, the final battle will begin! Representatives from both teams enter the ring! ["Love Is Unconditional".]
Shinpachi.
There's nothing left for us to do.
From here on, this is your battle.
I can't lose.
I can't afford to lose.
For the sake of everyone who's helped bring me here, I absolutely have to win! You've been a big help.
I'll buy you dinner some time.
Toshi, failure is not allowed.
Take back your own self with your own hands! I will stand above all otaku.
I will take this body back from Toshi.
Let's finish this.
The third and final match will test your collecting abilities! We aren't boxing? As fans, you naturally have assembled all kinds of paraphernalia related to your dear Otsu-chan.
How hardcore have you been in gathering Otsu-chan paraphernalia? That will be the key to this contest! This is what we will be using today, Otsu chips! Otsu chips! Chips that aren't selling very well, or quite frankly, they aren't selling at all.
We will have a card battle using the bonus cards that come with these chips! A-A card battle?! The rules are simple.
These cards have images of Otsu-chan in various poses.
The cards have been assigned AP, attack points, and DP, defense points.
Why would idol cards have attack power and defense power?! We will place them on this live stage And you will fight through these holograms of Otsu-chan! Why is fighting even involved?! And between two Otsu-chans?! Each player will be given 2000 life points.
For each turn, you will each use a card, and the corresponding number of life points will be spent.
The team whose life points reach zero first loses! And we won't be providing any cards! As fans, you naturally have these cards on your person.
The cards you have on you right now will be your playing hand! N-Not good! I don't have a single one of those cards! Hell, I never even knew they were being sold! And didn't that bag say it was Indian Corn-poop flavored?! Are those even edible?! No, wait.
Hijikata-san couldn't possibly have any of these cards Please set your cards and shuffle! Hi-Hijikata! Why do you have those?! And so many! Hijikata-san, whose coolness is his strength, has that many Otsu chips cards! I will abandon shame and self-respect to take myself back.
You can't conquer the otaku world by being half-hearted.
Hijikata-san What dreadful tenacity This is bad I can't put up a fight without any cards! Then, let the duel begin! Gin-san, run to the store! Buy lots of Otsu chips right away! I'm on it! So you didn't have anyas I expected.
It's too late to try and assemble a deck now! I have a complete set up to the third series of Otsu chips! I'll finish this before you get any cards! This is my card! Mr.
Toshi from the Tsusengumi makes the first move! His card is! Sentimental five minutes before curtain.
Otsu in her dressing room right before the beginning of a concert.
She's a nervous wreck.
She will indiscriminately attack anyone if given the opportunity.
(Especially Kimura.
) What kind of card is that?! You're revealing way too much stuff people don't want to hear about an idol! And who the hell is Kimura?! Mr.
Toshi has chosen an attack card to begin with! Don't come in my dressing room without permission! Why is a hologram attacking a real person?! And who the hell is she?! This doesn't look anything like the original! She looks like a totally different person! Mr.
Shimura can do nothing against the Otsu-chan hologram! It is Mr.
Shimura's turn! If he doesn't make a move, he'll lose a large number of life points Shinpachi! Gin-san! You made it in time! I don't have time to choose a card! I'll go with this! Oh! This is! This card is! I don't have time to choose a card! I'll go with this! Oh! This is! This card is! Oh! This card is! KIM! KIM the bass player! Uh, who the hell is that?! KIM the bass player.
A member of Otsu's backing band, which supports Otsu behind the scenes.
The bass player who also occasionally plays the castanets.
Why does it feel like I pulled a pointlessly plain card?! What are its attack points?! Does it have some kind of special ability?! The mole on his face occasionally vanishes, but he's an enigmatic figure who remains silent when asked about it.
(And his real name isn't KIM, but Chutaro Kimura.
) So it's Kimura! It's the Kimura that Otsu-chan is always spazzing on about! He was clearly getting his mole taken off by Otsu-chan! This card is a support card with no attack points or defense points! Its effect is to piss off all Otsu cards in play and double their attack points! Sentimental five minutes before curtain's attack points have doubled to 920! Hey, what's with the mole? Is it some kind of switch? It's a damn eyesore! Mr.
Shimura makes a painful mistake! He ended up using a support card to double the attack power of his opponent's card! He has lost nearly half of his life points! Shinpachi! [Note: Kagura and Gintoki are dressed as Danpei, who is the manager and corner man from boxing manga Tomorrow's Joe (Ashita no Joe).
.]
What are you doing, fool?! You gotta throw inside punches! And this support card, KIM the bass player, lasts for five turns! Hey, scram! Stupid Kimura! If Mr.
Shimura is attacked by a card with doubled attack points in the next turn, he has no chance of victory! As if double attack power was all you had to worry about.
My turn! I'll teach you how you're supposed to use support cards! This is my next card! Oh! This card is! That day of the month! That day of the month.
Aggravate all female cards and triple their attack points.
However, you cannot play a card the next time.
Which day is that day of the month?! Is this really an idol card game?! And is it actually okay to show this on TV?! Mr.
Toshi has added that day of the month to an Otsu-chan already irritated by KIM the bass player to leave her in the worst possible mood!! What?! And her attack power is now 2,760! An amazing number! If Mr.
Shimura is hit with an attack, he'll lose in one blow! I have to do something! Shinpachi! Here's more Otsu chips! Come on! Give me a good card! Gin-san.
Are these really Otsu chips? Are you sure you didn't get Kimura chips by accident? Shinpachi! You can only have five cards in a hand! Bet everything on the last one! An Otsu card! I'm going to draw an Otsu card! If I have an Otsu card, I can receive the effects from KIM the bass player and that day of the month and put up a fight against that monster! It's no use.
Cheap tricks won't do anything against this strike.
Go! Otsu on that day of the month! A clean hit! Mr.
Shimura has taken a direct 2,760 attack hit! It's all over.
Wh-What?! I-Impossible! You Why are you Over there?! Oh! The support card, KIM the bass player, took the hit for Mr.
Shimura! Impossible How could a support card like you enter combat? Much less endure a 2,760 attack point hit! That's It can't be! Separation.
.
A support card that only works on KIM the bass player.
Sacrifice the mole to withstand one attack by Otsu-chan.
K-KIM-san! KIM the bass player sacrificed his mole to protect Mr.
Shimura! I-It can't be! I didn't expect that! Mr.
Toshi cannot use a card next turn because of that day of the month! Have the tables been turned?! KIM-san, hang in there! Avenge my mole KIM-san! You just lost your mole! Hang in there! Why?! I don't get it! Okay, it's Mr.
Shimura's turn again! He can't let this chance slip away! He must draw a good card by any means! Hijikata-san is completely helpless, unable to use a support card.
This is my chance to strike back! An Otsu-chan card! Draw an Otsu-chan card this time! Please! Come on! Come on! Oh! This is That card is! KIYOSHI! KIYOSHI the drummer! I got another worthless-looking one! KIYOSHI the drummer.
A member of Otsu's backing band, which supports Otsu behind the scenes.
The drummer who also occasionally plays the tambourine.
He used to be close with KIM the bass player, but they got in a fight the other day when someone ate an extra slice of pizza, and they're looking for an opportunity to make up.
Who cares about that?! Do that stuff in the dressing room! Don't bring it into the game! If you have a pizza card, they'll make up and have a session.
Like I said, who cares?! Or if you have a cash card, they'll become even closer than they were before.
Don't use money to settle it! What is it? Don't look this way.
I wasn't looking at you.
This is really awkward.
What's with these guys? Why did they show up? It appears that he wasn't able to take advantage of his lucky chance.
You have no chance of victory now.
The time has finally come.
It's been a long time.
After obtaining that demonic sword and becoming cursed, I had to frantically suppress my other self, Toshi, who would pop up at any chance The next thing I knew, I had a growing pile of figures and DVDs And was being greeted on the street by strange otaku on a daily basis I will end it all with this blow! I'll end it all with this card! This isthe end! Go! MIYABI the stylist.
A stylist with a bad attitude.
Regularly eats and steals stuff from the dressing room without permission.
Otsu's deadly foe.
Only works on Otsu in dressing room cards.
Plus 1,000 attack points and defense points.
This time, it's over.
You ready? As expected from the brilliant strategist, Toshiro Hijikata He has me completely backed into a corner.
But I can't afford to lose! The feelings of everyone who has helped me Gin-san, Kagura-chan And Taka-tin.
Plus Taka-chin.
And most importantly My feelings of love and complete trust in Otsu-chan I can't let them down! I'll stake my all on this card! A mystery investigating card?! Reveal a hidden truth to change parameters! Damn it.
Another weird card in the end You're out of options.
Die! Damn it! I'll just have to leave it to fate! Go! Mystery investigating card activate.
Allow me to tell you the hidden truth.
The one who secretly ate your pizza The one who secretly ate your pizza Was this fatass! Ichi, ni Ichi, ni, three, four! Begin makeup session.
This is Makeup session.
A performance to bring peace on Earth! You are unable to attack, but if you're attacked, the attack points are doubled and the attack is reflected! [To Be Continued.]
[Shiruko and Zenzai.]
You just sometimes get in the mood for some hot shiruko, even when it isn't winter.
[Note: Zenzai(sweet bean soup): made from condensed paste with heat and is less watery than shiruko(red bean soup) which is more akin to jam or marmalade.
.]
And yeah, I can't really tell the difference between shiruko and zenzai.
Why do they have to make it so complicated? Just call them the same name.
Why bother differentiating? Yeah, it's hard to tell the difference.
And there's Yu Aoi and Sora Aoi.
[Note: Yu Aoi is a popular mainstream actress.
Sora Aoi is a Japanese porn star.
.]
They might as well be the same person.
I get them confused at times.
No, their names just sound similar.
They're different people.
I'm thinking that they're talking about, y'know, but then they're actually talking about some fancy movie.
It leaves my face burning.
I don't want to endure another ordeal like that.
And yeah, can Rinka clone herself or something? [Note: Rinka is a Japanese model and TV personality.
.]
There are like five or six of them on TV.
I can't tell which one's which.
Can't they just combine into one giant Rinka? And I can't tell the difference between GinTama and Kintama.
[Note: Kintama is slang for "balls" in Japanese.
.]
Which one's the right ball and which one's the left ball? [The End.]
[Preview.]
Thanks, Toshiro But that's enough I'll handle the rest The next episode "The Black Ships Even Make A Scene When They Sink.
" [Toshi dangerously appears from within Toshiro! On to the next showdown in the Official Fan Club battle!.]
[By the way, there are many differences between Shiruko and Zenzai depending on whether you're in the Kanto or Kansai area.
Google them for more details.
.]
[See you next time.
.]
And there's only one match left in the three-match pianist battle to decide Tsu Terakado's official fan club! In the first match, the quiz showdown, Kondo-san made a perfect read to deliver victory for the Tsusengumi! In the second match, the charisma showdown, victory went to the Tsu Terakado Fan Club who invited me to the Gandara Vehotel! And today will be the last match! Which team will show their true love for me? Aww! Now I'm starting to get nervous! Sorry, can I go take a piss? The three-match contest to decide Tsu Terakado's official fan club has finally reached its final match! Only two teams out of the many fans made it to the finals! The Tsu Terakado Fan Club! On the other side, we have the team led by Mr.
Toshi, which has lived up to its name! The Tsusengumi! Each team has one win and one loss.
We've been watching a back-and-forth battle here, but everything will be decided by this final match! Now, the final battle will begin! Representatives from both teams enter the ring! ["Love Is Unconditional".]
Shinpachi.
There's nothing left for us to do.
From here on, this is your battle.
I can't lose.
I can't afford to lose.
For the sake of everyone who's helped bring me here, I absolutely have to win! You've been a big help.
I'll buy you dinner some time.
Toshi, failure is not allowed.
Take back your own self with your own hands! I will stand above all otaku.
I will take this body back from Toshi.
Let's finish this.
The third and final match will test your collecting abilities! We aren't boxing? As fans, you naturally have assembled all kinds of paraphernalia related to your dear Otsu-chan.
How hardcore have you been in gathering Otsu-chan paraphernalia? That will be the key to this contest! This is what we will be using today, Otsu chips! Otsu chips! Chips that aren't selling very well, or quite frankly, they aren't selling at all.
We will have a card battle using the bonus cards that come with these chips! A-A card battle?! The rules are simple.
These cards have images of Otsu-chan in various poses.
The cards have been assigned AP, attack points, and DP, defense points.
Why would idol cards have attack power and defense power?! We will place them on this live stage And you will fight through these holograms of Otsu-chan! Why is fighting even involved?! And between two Otsu-chans?! Each player will be given 2000 life points.
For each turn, you will each use a card, and the corresponding number of life points will be spent.
The team whose life points reach zero first loses! And we won't be providing any cards! As fans, you naturally have these cards on your person.
The cards you have on you right now will be your playing hand! N-Not good! I don't have a single one of those cards! Hell, I never even knew they were being sold! And didn't that bag say it was Indian Corn-poop flavored?! Are those even edible?! No, wait.
Hijikata-san couldn't possibly have any of these cards Please set your cards and shuffle! Hi-Hijikata! Why do you have those?! And so many! Hijikata-san, whose coolness is his strength, has that many Otsu chips cards! I will abandon shame and self-respect to take myself back.
You can't conquer the otaku world by being half-hearted.
Hijikata-san What dreadful tenacity This is bad I can't put up a fight without any cards! Then, let the duel begin! Gin-san, run to the store! Buy lots of Otsu chips right away! I'm on it! So you didn't have anyas I expected.
It's too late to try and assemble a deck now! I have a complete set up to the third series of Otsu chips! I'll finish this before you get any cards! This is my card! Mr.
Toshi from the Tsusengumi makes the first move! His card is! Sentimental five minutes before curtain.
Otsu in her dressing room right before the beginning of a concert.
She's a nervous wreck.
She will indiscriminately attack anyone if given the opportunity.
(Especially Kimura.
) What kind of card is that?! You're revealing way too much stuff people don't want to hear about an idol! And who the hell is Kimura?! Mr.
Toshi has chosen an attack card to begin with! Don't come in my dressing room without permission! Why is a hologram attacking a real person?! And who the hell is she?! This doesn't look anything like the original! She looks like a totally different person! Mr.
Shimura can do nothing against the Otsu-chan hologram! It is Mr.
Shimura's turn! If he doesn't make a move, he'll lose a large number of life points Shinpachi! Gin-san! You made it in time! I don't have time to choose a card! I'll go with this! Oh! This is! This card is! I don't have time to choose a card! I'll go with this! Oh! This is! This card is! Oh! This card is! KIM! KIM the bass player! Uh, who the hell is that?! KIM the bass player.
A member of Otsu's backing band, which supports Otsu behind the scenes.
The bass player who also occasionally plays the castanets.
Why does it feel like I pulled a pointlessly plain card?! What are its attack points?! Does it have some kind of special ability?! The mole on his face occasionally vanishes, but he's an enigmatic figure who remains silent when asked about it.
(And his real name isn't KIM, but Chutaro Kimura.
) So it's Kimura! It's the Kimura that Otsu-chan is always spazzing on about! He was clearly getting his mole taken off by Otsu-chan! This card is a support card with no attack points or defense points! Its effect is to piss off all Otsu cards in play and double their attack points! Sentimental five minutes before curtain's attack points have doubled to 920! Hey, what's with the mole? Is it some kind of switch? It's a damn eyesore! Mr.
Shimura makes a painful mistake! He ended up using a support card to double the attack power of his opponent's card! He has lost nearly half of his life points! Shinpachi! [Note: Kagura and Gintoki are dressed as Danpei, who is the manager and corner man from boxing manga Tomorrow's Joe (Ashita no Joe).
.]
What are you doing, fool?! You gotta throw inside punches! And this support card, KIM the bass player, lasts for five turns! Hey, scram! Stupid Kimura! If Mr.
Shimura is attacked by a card with doubled attack points in the next turn, he has no chance of victory! As if double attack power was all you had to worry about.
My turn! I'll teach you how you're supposed to use support cards! This is my next card! Oh! This card is! That day of the month! That day of the month.
Aggravate all female cards and triple their attack points.
However, you cannot play a card the next time.
Which day is that day of the month?! Is this really an idol card game?! And is it actually okay to show this on TV?! Mr.
Toshi has added that day of the month to an Otsu-chan already irritated by KIM the bass player to leave her in the worst possible mood!! What?! And her attack power is now 2,760! An amazing number! If Mr.
Shimura is hit with an attack, he'll lose in one blow! I have to do something! Shinpachi! Here's more Otsu chips! Come on! Give me a good card! Gin-san.
Are these really Otsu chips? Are you sure you didn't get Kimura chips by accident? Shinpachi! You can only have five cards in a hand! Bet everything on the last one! An Otsu card! I'm going to draw an Otsu card! If I have an Otsu card, I can receive the effects from KIM the bass player and that day of the month and put up a fight against that monster! It's no use.
Cheap tricks won't do anything against this strike.
Go! Otsu on that day of the month! A clean hit! Mr.
Shimura has taken a direct 2,760 attack hit! It's all over.
Wh-What?! I-Impossible! You Why are you Over there?! Oh! The support card, KIM the bass player, took the hit for Mr.
Shimura! Impossible How could a support card like you enter combat? Much less endure a 2,760 attack point hit! That's It can't be! Separation.
.
A support card that only works on KIM the bass player.
Sacrifice the mole to withstand one attack by Otsu-chan.
K-KIM-san! KIM the bass player sacrificed his mole to protect Mr.
Shimura! I-It can't be! I didn't expect that! Mr.
Toshi cannot use a card next turn because of that day of the month! Have the tables been turned?! KIM-san, hang in there! Avenge my mole KIM-san! You just lost your mole! Hang in there! Why?! I don't get it! Okay, it's Mr.
Shimura's turn again! He can't let this chance slip away! He must draw a good card by any means! Hijikata-san is completely helpless, unable to use a support card.
This is my chance to strike back! An Otsu-chan card! Draw an Otsu-chan card this time! Please! Come on! Come on! Oh! This is That card is! KIYOSHI! KIYOSHI the drummer! I got another worthless-looking one! KIYOSHI the drummer.
A member of Otsu's backing band, which supports Otsu behind the scenes.
The drummer who also occasionally plays the tambourine.
He used to be close with KIM the bass player, but they got in a fight the other day when someone ate an extra slice of pizza, and they're looking for an opportunity to make up.
Who cares about that?! Do that stuff in the dressing room! Don't bring it into the game! If you have a pizza card, they'll make up and have a session.
Like I said, who cares?! Or if you have a cash card, they'll become even closer than they were before.
Don't use money to settle it! What is it? Don't look this way.
I wasn't looking at you.
This is really awkward.
What's with these guys? Why did they show up? It appears that he wasn't able to take advantage of his lucky chance.
You have no chance of victory now.
The time has finally come.
It's been a long time.
After obtaining that demonic sword and becoming cursed, I had to frantically suppress my other self, Toshi, who would pop up at any chance The next thing I knew, I had a growing pile of figures and DVDs And was being greeted on the street by strange otaku on a daily basis I will end it all with this blow! I'll end it all with this card! This isthe end! Go! MIYABI the stylist.
A stylist with a bad attitude.
Regularly eats and steals stuff from the dressing room without permission.
Otsu's deadly foe.
Only works on Otsu in dressing room cards.
Plus 1,000 attack points and defense points.
This time, it's over.
You ready? As expected from the brilliant strategist, Toshiro Hijikata He has me completely backed into a corner.
But I can't afford to lose! The feelings of everyone who has helped me Gin-san, Kagura-chan And Taka-tin.
Plus Taka-chin.
And most importantly My feelings of love and complete trust in Otsu-chan I can't let them down! I'll stake my all on this card! A mystery investigating card?! Reveal a hidden truth to change parameters! Damn it.
Another weird card in the end You're out of options.
Die! Damn it! I'll just have to leave it to fate! Go! Mystery investigating card activate.
Allow me to tell you the hidden truth.
The one who secretly ate your pizza The one who secretly ate your pizza Was this fatass! Ichi, ni Ichi, ni, three, four! Begin makeup session.
This is Makeup session.
A performance to bring peace on Earth! You are unable to attack, but if you're attacked, the attack points are doubled and the attack is reflected! [To Be Continued.]
[Shiruko and Zenzai.]
You just sometimes get in the mood for some hot shiruko, even when it isn't winter.
[Note: Zenzai(sweet bean soup): made from condensed paste with heat and is less watery than shiruko(red bean soup) which is more akin to jam or marmalade.
.]
And yeah, I can't really tell the difference between shiruko and zenzai.
Why do they have to make it so complicated? Just call them the same name.
Why bother differentiating? Yeah, it's hard to tell the difference.
And there's Yu Aoi and Sora Aoi.
[Note: Yu Aoi is a popular mainstream actress.
Sora Aoi is a Japanese porn star.
.]
They might as well be the same person.
I get them confused at times.
No, their names just sound similar.
They're different people.
I'm thinking that they're talking about, y'know, but then they're actually talking about some fancy movie.
It leaves my face burning.
I don't want to endure another ordeal like that.
And yeah, can Rinka clone herself or something? [Note: Rinka is a Japanese model and TV personality.
.]
There are like five or six of them on TV.
I can't tell which one's which.
Can't they just combine into one giant Rinka? And I can't tell the difference between GinTama and Kintama.
[Note: Kintama is slang for "balls" in Japanese.
.]
Which one's the right ball and which one's the left ball? [The End.]
[Preview.]
Thanks, Toshiro But that's enough I'll handle the rest The next episode "The Black Ships Even Make A Scene When They Sink.
" [Toshi dangerously appears from within Toshiro! On to the next showdown in the Official Fan Club battle!.]
[By the way, there are many differences between Shiruko and Zenzai depending on whether you're in the Kanto or Kansai area.
Google them for more details.
.]
[See you next time.
.]